As Arcadia almost* once sang, “It’s Election Day” in 1992 and the polls are predicting either a hung parliament or a Labour win. That proved to be as accurate as Jacob Rees-Mogg’s Brexit promises for UK prosperity as the Conservative party triumphed albeit with a reduced majority. ‘It’s The Sun Wot Won It’ screamed The Sun’s front page two days later. Thirty years on and the right wing press is no less influential.
*They actually sang “it’s re-election day”
OK well, after that sombre opening let’s get to the music on tonight’s show which is presented by Tony Dortie and Femi Oke. The latter made her debut on the show the other week but I think she only made a handful of appearances all told. Shame, she seemed like a safe pair of hands. As you’d expect, there’s going to be an overwhelming majority of election references in the links and Tony is first in line getting in the words ‘party’, ‘polls’ and ‘vote’ as he introduces the opening act Praga Khan featuring Jade 4 U. Who?! Yeah, I’m lost on this one too. As Tony mentions in his intro, this lot were Belgian techno heads – I bet leave campaigner Jacob hated them – and this single “Injected With A Poison” was their biggest hit. As you know, I was no raver back in the day so this made little impression on me and listening to it now as a 53 year old it sounds like one big horrible noise to my middle aged ears. Apparently this was a remix of their earlier single “Free Your Body/ Injected With A Poison” and according to online popular culture publication Freaky Trigger, featured “an underwater electric whisk” and “one of those duck calling kazoo things”. Yeah, I don’t know about you but neither of those things would be high on my list of essentials in a tune.
Main man Maurice Engelen was also the guy behind recent hit makers Digital Orgasm (or just ‘Digital’ as the controversy avoiding TOTP referred to them). I think that’s him shouting “We don’t need that anymore” and “Are you listening to me?” and looking like he’s been lost in Glastonbury for a decade. He also recorded material under the name Lords Of Acid whose canon of work included tracks called “Rough Sex” and “I Must Increase My Bust”. The latter must surely have been inspired by that 1980 Sunblest bread advert featuring light entertainment star Marti Caine who says “I wonder if it’ll do anything for my bust” as she ponders her chest whilst cramming a slice of bread in her mouth.
“Injected With A Poison” peaked at No 16.
After the Top 10 rundown which, for all those chart curiosity enthusiasts out there, includes two acts whose name both begin with Mr. B…, Femi gets in a name check of the leaders of all three main political parties before introducing the man who ‘gets her vote’ Curtis Stigers who is in the studio to perform his latest hit “You’re All That Matters To Me”. There seems to be a rule for the male members of his backing band that they have to have a mop of long hair or be wearing a waistcoat to be allowed on the stage. Or both. In fact, you have to follow the Stigers style or you’re out.
One time when Curtis himself would have wanted to be out occurred years later when he appeared on Channel 4’s The Big Breakfast. One of their features was some sort of super fan quiz where they got an infatuated member of the public on the show with their idol and asked them questions about them. If they got them right they won a holiday or something. Anyway, a Curtis devotee was on and was asked by host Johnny Vaughan what Stigers’ date of birth was. She got it wrong and so missed out on the competition prize. Curtis thought this was very harsh and called Johnny, as I recall, ”you cruel bastard” or something like that. As a punishment they locked Curtis in a cupboard and promptly forgot all about him. After the show had finished and his PR people turned up asking where he was, they suddenly remembered and had to let him out. When appearing on live daytime TV Curtis, do not swear. That’s all that matters.
Another bangin’ tune next as Altern 8 are here with their second Top 10 hit “Evapor 8”. This performance is mental. Obviously there’s the Altern 8 guys in their hazmat suits and masks for a start. In these pandemic weary days where we’re all used to the notion of mask wearing, back in 1992 this seemed really sinister (well it did to me anyway) and helped create a whiff of danger about the duo. On top of that though, there’s three sports wear clad ‘casuals’ who look like they’re off their tits throwing some shapes, legendary singer P. P. Arnold centre stage wearing a pair of marigolds and a massive dancing robot on stilts!
Given that Tony and Femi were throwing General Election references around like confetti, how did they miss this open goal?
Chris represented the Hardcore Altern8-ive party. I’m guessing their manifesto would have included something about removing government legislation that made raves illegal.
“Evapor 8” by Alter 8 peaked at No 6. Boo! Where’s the symmetry in that!
After the Monster Raving Looniness of Altern 8, we were back to the safe seat of Vanessa Williams next with her ballad “Save The Best For Last”. Has there ever been such a contrast of styles in consecutive performances on the show? From raving robots and face masks to a seated, dinner suited orchestra backing a singer in a sequinned dress. I’m guessing Vanessa didn’t return to America with the opinion that our pop stars were quaint.
From raving mad techno to sophisticated balladry and finally onto tongue in cheek silliness as Right Said Fred are in the studio to perform their future No 1 “Deeply Dippy”. Whilst not an orchestra like Vanessa’s, the Freds do have their own brass packing backing section up there with them and it’s their contribution that really makes this song I think.
Richard Fairbrass camps it up as you would expect dressed in an unbuttoned, garishly coloured frilly shirt and he curiously changes the song’s last line from “I’m takin’ a hot tahiti” to “I’m goin’ to hitchhike to Walthamstow”. Not sure what that was about. An in joke presumably.
Given their current anti vaxxer stance, we can expect their new single, a cover of Praga Khan’s “Free Your Body / Injected With A Poison” any day now.
As announced by the lady herself at the end of the previous TOTP, Cher is tonight’s ‘Exclusive’ performance. Crikey! After Chris De Burgh last week and now Cher, this slot really is down with the kids ain’t it?!
“Could’ve Been You” was the fourth single released from her “Love Hurts” album and like “Save Up All Your Tears” and the title track, this was also a cover version. Bob Halligan’s original came out a year before and sank without trace but was deemed perfect fodder for Cher’s brand of soft rock. It’s a right old plodder if truth be known but Cher can sell anything given an enormous wig and a leather bra and so it dutifully made No 31 over here, no doubt aided by this TOTP performance and her slot on Aspel And Company two days later. Let’s hope she’d learned the song’s words by then as she’s clearly reading them off that monitor at her feet.
Hang about! There’s another ‘Exclusive’ performance straight after Cher’s?! How come Genesis have also got this slot and more importantly who the f**k is Daryl as name checked by Femi in her intro?! When I think of Genesis, I’m thinking Phil Collins, Mike Rutherford and Tony Banks. At a push I’d include Peter Gabriel although I really don’t know that much about the band’s early career. I’m never thinking of some bloke called Daryl! Who was this geezer? Well if you’re a Genesis super fan then you should have got yourself on The Big Breakfast because you’ll know that Daryl is Daryl Stuermer who’s association with the band goes as far back as 1978. He was their touring lead guitarist and bass player from ‘78 to ‘92 and then again in 2007 for the Turn It In Again Tour and most recently last year for The Last Domino? Tour. He’s on stage with the lads here to perform the band’s latest single “Hold On My Heart”.
This was the third single taken from their “We Can’t Dance” album and was the obligatory ballad after the first two were more rock fare. Honestly, it could be any of the slow songs from their previous album “Invisible Touch” like “In Too Deep” or “Throwing It All Away” or indeed a Phil Collins solo effort like “One More Night” or… well anything from 50% of his back catalogue as he only has two types of song – love lorn ballad or mid temp pop.
You’ll remember that Genesis secured an ‘Exclusive’ slot on the show for the first single off the album called “No Son Of Mine” which went on for about six and a half minutes! Thankfully this performance is restricted to just over four but I really think that six months in to this new format that the producers haven’t got a clue how to make TOTP seem more relevant to the younger element of their audience. Genesis, Cher and Chris De Burgh?! Nadine Dorries looks on top of her interview game by comparison.
“Hold On My Heart” peaked at No 16.
There’s no Breakers this week so there’s only eight acts in the show in total tonight. Not sure why that maybe. It can’t be anything to do with the election as the show is still the same running time and hadn’t been cut short to make way for coverage of the event. I can only assume it’s because of the two ‘exclusive’ performances in the same show from Cher and Genesis taking up the time that would usually be allotted to the Breakers.
As such we’re onto the No 1 already and it’s an eighth and final week at the top for Shakespear’s Sister. I know it’s only half the time that Bryan Adams was at the top and we’ve missed at least one week due to the Adrian Rose issue but it hasn’t felt anywhere near as onerous an experience as the era of the Groover from Vancouver.
Though they would never be as big again, Marcella and Siobahn didn’t disappear immediately after “Stay” had finally departed the charts. A follow up single called “I Don’t Care” would return them to the Top 10 and their album “Hormonally Yours” went double platinum in the UK. However, the relationship between the two was volatile and after being hospitalised for depression, Fahey decided to end their partnership by announcing it in absentia via her publisher at the 1993 Ivor Novello Awards ceremony, an event that Detroit was present at. However there was a happy ending as the two reunited in 2019 having resolved their differences to tour and record new material.
| Order of appearance | Artist | Title | Did I buy it? |
| 1 | Praga Khan featuring Jade 4 U | Injected with a poison | Hell no |
| 2 | Curtis Stigers | You’re All That Matters To Me | Not for me thanks |
| 3 | Altern 8 | Evapor 8 | I wasn’t a raver -no |
| 4 | Vanessa Williams | Save The Best For Last | Nope |
| 5 | Right Said Fred | Deeply Dippy | Nah |
| 6 | Cher | Could’ve Been You | No |
| 7 | Genesis | Hold On My Heart | Never happening |
| 8 | Shakespear’s Sister | Stay | I did not |
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All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00142cn/top-of-the-pops-09041992
TOTP Rewind - the 90s 