It’s mid October in 1992 here at TOTP Rewind and something very odd is happening to the UK singles charts which seems to have been infiltrated by a string of acts that have very little to do with music. Now if you haven’t been enjoying these TOTP repeats on BBC4, you may want to argue they could apply to most of the Top 40 occupants but I’m talking about a very specific form of chart interloper. These were entities that have no genuine musical connection nor talent but are just spin offs from another form of ‘entertainment’. Who am I talking about? Well, here’s an example; “Tetris” by Dr Spin, a track based on the theme tune to a computer game. Ah yes but that’s just one song you may say. You’d be wrong. In a week or two there will be another computer game based hit by an act calling themselves Ambassadors Of Funk (oh the irony) entitled “Supermarioland”. OK, so there was a mini craze for computer game inspired novelty hits. So what? It’s hardly the sound that ate the world. True but that’s not the end of it. Soon our eyes and ears will have to cope with the sight and sound of an all male stripping troupe gyrating up the charts as The Chippendales make their musical bow. Not to be outdone in the manliness stakes, the WWF Superstars will soon be pile-driving their way into Top 5 with their “Slamjam” single.
Where was all this coming from? Well, one influence may have been ITV’s new Saturday teatime show Gladiators that had just premiered the weekend before this TOTP aired. Remember that? Where members of the public tried to outdo the programme’s ‘gladiators’ in a series of physical challenges called things like Swingshot, Joust and Pole-Axe? It was presented by Ulrika Jonsson and John ‘Awooga’ Fashanu and made stars of the ‘gladiators’ like Jet, Hunter and Wolf. It was quite the ratings sensation for a while. Although there was no spin off single from the show until 1996 (an horrendous cover of Thin Lizzy’s “Boys Are Back In Town”) it was certainly part of the cultural landscape. Unfortunately we will be seeing two of these cultural giants in tonight’s TOTP.
We start though with Sunscreem who I was amazed to find had eight Top 40 hits. I have to admit that I couldn’t have named any of them without looking at their discography. I do remember them being around at this time and that they were a dance act but their material seemed to have passed me by. Listening to this track “Perfect Motion”, they’re a lot more accessible than I would have imagined, a hybrid of dance floor bpm and pop. They sort of remind me a little of New Order – certainly the single’s title sounds like a New Order track. Image wise, singer Lucia Holm was a sort of grunge version of Yazz. Hmm. Yazz does New Order? Is that really the comparison that m looking for?
Now what’s going on here? Pan’s People on TOTP in 1992? According to host Mark Franklin it was part of a retrospective strategy to celebrate the show’s forthcoming 1500th edition by revisiting highlights from its past. Pan’s People are dancing to “(They Long To Be) Close To You” by The Carpenters which was a No 6 hit in the UK in 1970. Mark though tells us it’s from 30 years ago to the day in 1972. I’ve checked the official charts database and can’t see anything on there to confirm that the song was in the charts then. According to the next-episode website there was no TOTP broadcast on that day so what gives? Surely the producers haven’t just made it up to fit with a neat narrative?
Pan’s People were the dance troupe that I remember from my first memories of the show which include Mud performing “Tiger Feet”. At some point they changed to Legs & Co and then Zoo was it? When were Ruby Flipper then? It doesn’t matter I suppose. Pan’s People’s performance isn’t too un-PC I guess. I’m sure there are some right howlers in the archives though.
Meanwhile back in the studio in 1992 we find Bizarre Inc featuring Angie Brown once more with their hit single “I’m Gonna Get You”. There’s two things that sprang to my attention whilst watching this back. Firstly, what was the deal with the keyboards made to look like swings? It’s literally the worst look for a musical instrument since the key-tar. Secondly, the different coloured alternate backdrops remind me of something but I can’t put my finger on it. It’ll come to me….oh God. I’ve got it. It’s Naked Attraction that weird dating show on Channel 4! The very last thing I want to put my finger on! It’s the multi coloured booths that the naked contestants stand in which reveal their bodies from the feet up! Not that I watch it myself you understand but I’ve seen it on Gogglebox. Honest!
“I’m Gonna Get You” peaked at No3.
From Naked Attraction to “Erotica” by Madonna. What a segue! Was this the peak of Madge’s controversy? She’d already incurred the wrath of the Vatican three years earlier with her “Like A Prayer” video and its imagery of the Ku Klux Klan’s burning crosses but now she was back with a three pronged attack on society’s moral standards according to some commentators (Mary Whitehouse must have had something to say about it all). Firstly there was the “Erotica” single with its S&M undertones which sees Madonna assuming the pseudonym of Mistress Dita and its MTV banned video (presumably the version shown on TOTP was heavily edited). Then there was a whole album called “Erotica” with its themes of fantasy, desire and pleasure. Lastly, and this was the real moral majority baiting clincher, there was the ‘coffee table’ book Sex. Has there ever been such a misnomer? Well, apparently not as it has sold 1.5 million copies and is the biggest and fastest selling coffee table book of all time. This was a 128 page spiral bound tome that featured images of nudity, simulations of sexual acts, bondage etc. It came in a sealed bag presumably to stop casual browsers seeing what all the fuss was about. I remember being in WH Smith around this time and some curious teenagers asking the poor sales assistant to open the seal so they could peruse the contents. Happily, she refused to do so.
As for the song “Erotica”, was it really that different to “Justify My Love” from two years prior? I’m not so sure. Maybe Madge was just taking continuing that theme to its logical conclusion? Where could you go with it other than to illicit more outrage? I have to admit I wasn’t that convinced.
“Erotica” the single peaked at No 3.
I may not have been convinced by Madonna’s latest offering but it was wholly preferable to the next act as we arrive at the first of these chart outliers that I mentioned before. I speak of Doctor Spin and the Game Boy influenced track “Tetris”. Now, there had been computer games when I was growing up in the 70s but despite amazing the pre-teenage me, they were incredibly basic. I had a Binatone console…
Ah, happy memories. By 1992, things had advanced dramatically but I had never gone back to the world of gaming after my 70s foray. Consequently, when Our Price for whom I was working started selling them in the early 90s I was a bit lost. I was in the Rochdale store at this time and we were stocking a Nintendo and Sega range. I recall there being a big deal about the latter’s release of the follow up to Sonic the Hedgehog. The release date was specifically shifted to a Tuesday so the marketing for it could be framed as Sonic 2sday which was the 24th November. That marketing budget by the way was $10 million and it worked generating 1 million sales in the US and 750,000 in the UK in a day selling out everywhere.
All of this helped establish gaming as not just a legitimate leisure pursuit but as one of the fastest growing. The cash-in spin-off was inevitable I guess and so it came to pass that Andrew Lloyd Webber exploited the gap in the market with this heinous load of nonsense. Who bought this? “Tetris” peaked at No 6 which presumably was the average age of the punter who purchased it.
We move seamlessly (not even a voice over intro) onto the next stage where Boyz II Men are patiently awaiting their cue. What on earth must they have been thinking about British taste watching Doctor Spin on before them?! They here to perform “End Of The Road” of course and, given its popularity back in the day, I was surprised to see very little love for it out there in Twitter land. Look at this guy for example:
Wow! If that’s what he thought of Boys II Men I wonder what he made of Doctor Spin?! As for me, I didn’t doubt these guys could sing but their staging and image was bizarre. They’ve got the prop of a streetlight which I guess references the origins of doo-wop which was clearly an influence on the band but why are they all wearing baseball caps, jackets and jeans?! It’s ludicrous. Also, why has one of them got a walking stick? Did he have a genuine leg injury or was it an affectation Mick Hucknall style? Boyz II Men – crazy name, crazy guys!
Four Breakers now starting with a cover version which is surely one of the most pointless and also most forgotten in musical history. It had been nearly two years since The Farm had been riding a wave of popularity off the back of two huge hit singles in “Groovy Train” and “All Together Now”. Debut album “Spartacus” had risen swiftly to the top of the charts. However, subsequent singles releases had been minor hits and by the time they were releasing new material from second album “Love See No Colour”, those minor hits had turned into flops. The title track and follow up single “Rising Sun” had both missed the Top 40 altogether so what do you do when in need of a hit to reverse your chart fortunes? We all know the answer to this by now. Their choice of cover version was decidedly odd. Choosing The Human League’s classic No 1 “Don’t You Want Me” seemed frought with issues not the least being that Phil and co’s version was so definitive that anything that came after it was destined to be seen as inferior. That applied to the video as well as the song so what The Farm served up as their promo looked ghastly. Some sort of karaoke bar setting with sing-a-long lyrics on screen and a cameo by well known alcoholic George Best? My God. What were they thinking?!
The cover version trick worked though and returned the band to the Top 20 and paved the way for a rerelease of the “Love See No Colour” single which made No 35. However, it proved to be a false dawn and their only two subsequent chart entries were with reissues of “All Together Now”.
I’ve seen many a band come and go, many a musical genre rise and fall in the course of these TOTP reviews but one constant has been AC/DC. Racking up hits whatever else was going on in the charts, they never seemed to go out of fashion. They are back in our Top 40 courtesy of a live version of “Highway To Hell” which was to promote their live album called…erm… “AC/DC Live”. I’m guessing this was released to plug the five year gap that would follow the release of 1990’s “The Razors Edge” album and its follow up “Ballbreaker” which didn’t arrive until 1995. I remember that “AC/DC Live” was a double album and the slip case for the cassette version was a bugger to get back on without tearing it after taking it off. That, and that the single made No 14, are all I have to say about this AC/DC release.
The Wedding Present’s single for this month was a number called “Sticky” which I don’t remember at all but then they did release 12 singles in 1992 as part of their “Hit Parade” project so I’m not going to give myself a kicking over that.
The clip of the video we see here has a bit of a Twin Peaks vibe to it with a bloke in the desert telling the listener to get out using a speeded up animation effect before a devil figure wrestles with someone in a white room with a black and white chequered floor. Very weird. The single peaked at No 17, the second consecutive single to do so in their attempt to equal Elvis Presley’s record for the most hit singles in one year.
The final Breaker comes from The Orb. After the genre breaking ‘chess’ performance on the show for the last single “Blue Room” that apparently had a major effect on Robbie Williams and his view on how to make music, they’re back with standalone single “Assassin”. I have to say this does/did little for me but then I was never a bpm fiend. The video reminds me of one that a group of students on my course made way back in the mid 80s at Sunderland Polytechnic. We all had to write, film and edit a small film as part of the module. My group’s was called “Wet Dream” but it was not what you’re thinking and nothing approaching similar to Madonna’s “”Erotica” promo! One of the other groups ran out of time so in the end just filmed some of them sat down and added some visual effects over the top to a soundtrack of Jean Michel Jarre. I didn’t think much of it at the time but I think so prefer it to The Orb’s video.
“Assassin” peaked at a No 12.
The return of Bon Jovi next. It had been four years since their last album “New Jersey” and the musical landscape had changed almost beyond recognition. Added to that, the band were facing some existential demons after taking a deliberate hiatus during which Jon Bon Jovi wrote a film soundtrack and Richie Sambora a solo album. Jon is on record as saying that “We’d been kicked in the teeth by Nirvana but we didn’t pay attention to that. We got rid of the clichés, wrote some socially conscious lyrics and got a haircut. I didn’t do a grunge thing and I didn’t do a rap thing but I knew I couldn’t rewrite “Livin’ On A Prayer” again so I didn’t try. And it paid off”.
It was true. “Keep The Faith” the single and the album were no attempt to jump on the Nirvana bandwagon but nor were they more of the poodle rock on which they’d made their name. For a start it was (and remains) the longest album they’d ever recorded clocking in at 66 minutes. The album version of the title track is nearly 6 minutes long itself though it was edited down for radio. Now I’m not suggesting that longer means a more mature sound necessarily but neither were they looking for the quick thrill opening of something like “Born To Be My Baby”.
The album would spawn six hit singles and go to No 1 in the UK and No 5 in the US. Incredibly they released the last single from it (“Dry County”) nearly 16 months to the day since the album came out. It was, in short, a monster.
Jon Bon Jovi seems to be channelling his inner Davy Jones from The Monkees in this performance with his maracas action. I had a promo copy of the album through work at one point but I’ve no idea what happened to it. You can’t really say the same of Bon Jovi.
Tasmin Archer is at No 1 for the first week of two with “Sleeping Satellite”. It really was a magnificent achievement for a debut single especially when you consider that major, established acts like Madonna and Bon Jovi had new material out at the time. Written about the moon landing and the Apollo missions of the 60s and early 70s, it must be the best (and only) song to reference space hardware since Kirsty MacColl had a hit with Billy Bragg’s “New England” in 1985. Do you hear it played on the radio these days? Maybe on the retro stations like Absolute 90s. Whether it is or not, there will always be a part of 1992 that belongs to Tasmin Archer.
And finally Cyril (one for you Esther Rantzen fans), there was an epilogue to this show where we got a glimpse (possibly unwanted) of an act on next week’s show and it’s the second of those cultural chart outliers. We are ‘treated’ to a few seconds of the new single by The Chippendales “Give Me Your Body” plus a personal invitation from one of them to join them on the show next week. You have been warned.
| Order of appearance | Artist | Title | Did I buy it? |
| 1 | Sunscreem | Perfect Motion | Nope |
| 2 | The Carpenters | (They Long To Be) Close To You | No but everyone has a Carpenters Greatest Hits album don’t they? |
| 3 | Bizarre Inc featuring Angie Brown | I’m Gonna Get You | No |
| 4 | Madonna | Erotica | No, I wasn’t convinced |
| 5 | Doctor Spin | Tetris | Sod off! |
| 6 | Boyz II Men | End Of The Road | I didn’t think it was the auditory equivalent of rabies but I didn’t buy it either |
| 7 | The Farm | Don’t You Want Me | No, no I didn’t want you |
| 8 | AC/DC | Highway To Hell | Not my thing |
| 9 | The Wedding Present | Sticky | Nah |
| 10 | The Orb | Assassin | See 8 above |
| 11 | Bon Jovi | Keep The Faith | Not the single but I had that promo album for a while |
| 12 | Tasmin Archer | Sleeping Satellite | Good song but no |
Disclaimer
I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).
All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001648v/top-of-the-pops-15101992
TOTP Rewind - the 90s 