Late November in 1992 was a sad time. I’m not talking about the Queen who two days before this TOTP broadcast had described the year as her annus horribilis as the Royal Family was involved in various scandals plus there was a fire at Windsor castle. Compared to the brouhaha they find themselves enveloped in today, photos of Fergie topless don’t seem such a big deal it seems to me but maybe life was a tad more innocent 30 years ago? Viewed against the daily shitshow of the 2020s, so far it does seem so. Anyway, it wasn’t the Windsors I was referring to but the fact that a major presence of British cultural life would come to an end in four days time. I speak, of course, of The Sooty Show! Yes, the original long running programme bid farewell on 30 November 1992 after 37 years on our screens. It wasn’t away for long returning just a year later as the rebranded Sooty & Co and then Sooty Heights and even today exists courtesy of Richard Cadell who bought the rights to the Sooty brand in 2008. The ending of a 37 year old TV show seems like quite a big deal though. Neighbours is ending soon after an almost identical length of run and there seems to be quite a fuss in the media about that so if it’s good enough for Scott and Charlene there it’s good enough for Sooty and Sweep. So much did Sooty permeate society that he’s responsible for this memorable spoof from my childhood:

What has this to do with TOTP? Nothing really but you find different ways to introduce a review of early 90s chart music on a twice weekly basis without resorting to such tactics!

OK, so like Sooty, EMF we’re also having problems staying as popular as they once were. Having arrived on the charts in 1990 like a bowling ball, skittling their contemporaries down and out with their irresistible “Unbelievable” single and Top 3 album “Schubert Dip”, it had been a case of diminishing returns for the Epsom Mad Funkers since. Two years on and sophomore album “Stigmata” would peak at No 19 and worse still, spend just two weeks on the charts. Its singles also underperformed. Lead track “They’re Here” barely made the Top 30 whilst follow up “It’s You” fared little better peaking at No 23 despite this TOTP appearance.

I didn’t remember how this one went at all but having listened to it back, it’s pretty good. They’ve toned down the frenetic pace of their earlier catalogue for a more (dare I say it) mature sound. This new found maturity is undermined rather by the band’s ‘slacker’ wardrobe which they are still persisting with two years on from their debut on the scene. That and the way in which the song’s chorus sounds like singer James Atkin is sneezing but I still quite like it.

Talking of maturity, the band have recently released a new album called “Go Go Sapiens” and are featured in the latest issue of Classic Pop magazine. Man, the look like any old geezers now but then, don’t we all?

It’s the video for “Yesterdays” by Guns N’ Roses next which provides the musical backdrop for the chart rundown for Nos 40 to 11. The band were in total turmoil by this point, engulfed in a trail of controversy as they straddled the planet on their Use Your Illusion tour. They’d haemorrhaged two band members in Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler during the course of it, caused riots in St Louis and Montreal and in September guitarist Slash actually died for eight minutes after a drug overdose before being revived by paramedics.

At the time of this particular TOTP they were in Caracas, Venezuela and got caught up in a military coup which found them stranded there as airbases were seized. They eventually made it out and flew into Bogota, Columbia as the tour of carnage continued. Remember when rock star transgressions were just about fast cars and women? Talking of which…

From (literally) death defying rock to a comfy as a pair of slippers cover version. Undercover are back with their tribute to Andrew Gold’s “Never Let Her Slip Away”. For some reason the producers have dressed the stage up as if it were the deck of a Titanic style ship complete with a SS Undercover lifeboat and lifebuoy. I have no idea why. Undercover would never be as successful again as they were at this moment. Two consecutive Top 5 hits, multiple TOTP appearances – not bad for what was quite a ropey old concept really. However, the iceberg of chart failure was lurking unseen in their path and when they hit it, the journey was over almost immediately. There was time for one final Top 40 hit when their version of Gallagher and Lyle’s “I Wanna Stay With You” made No 28 but really they were just rearranging the deckchairs while the good ship Undercover sank.

To be fair, they weren’t the first to dance up some old rock pop staples for a more youthful audience nor the last. East Side Beat scored a big hit the previous year with their Eurodance version of “Ride Like The Wind” by Christopher Cross and then in 1995 Nikki French took her Hi-NRG take on Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” into the Top 5. It just all seemed like lowest common denominator music to me. What’s the least we could get away with and still bag some chart success.

I think singer John Matthews still performs using the Undercover name on the nostalgia circuit. I really hope he does those slots on cruise liners that seem to be popular for retro artists now. He’s also a massive Arsenal fan whose Champions League qualification hopes sank recently as easily as the Titanic.

Whilst Sooty, Sweep and Sue were about to experience cancel culture nearly 30 years before it was invented, Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine were riding the zeitgeist in 1992. “The Impossible Dream (The Quest)” was their fourth Top 40 hit of the year whilst their “1992 – The Love Album” went to the top of the charts! It could be argued that all this success had gone to Fruitbat and Jim Bob’s heads as apparently they genuinely believed that they had a shot at the Xmas No 1 with this release. They even tried to start a fake war with the King of Xmas Cliff Richard via a poster campaign that said ‘Don’t Buy Cliff, Buy Carter’. In the end, they massively misjudged their chances and the single peaked at No 21.

The song itself has quite the history. Taken from the 1965 Broadway musical Man Of La Mancha, it has been recorded by some legendary names. Look at this list:

• Frank Sinatra
• Elvis Presley
• Jack Jones
• Jacques Brel
• Shirley Bassey
• Matt Monro
• Andy Williams
• Scott Walker
• and erm…Susan Boyle

CUSM were an unlikely addition to that list for sure and I’m not entirely sure they did the song justice. Still, the staging of this performance with the windmill image in the background at least made sense unlike the SS Undercover.

If you really want a song based on a fictional character who picked fights with windmills then you could do worse than listen to this:

Just the two Breakers this week starting with…oh joy…Shabba Ranks and a little ditty he’s recorded with Johnny Gill called “Slow And Sexy”. Lovely stuff. Shabba (!) had already released a track this year called “Love Punanny Bad” which presumably influenced the comedy creation Ali G. You’d never get any of this smut with Sooty!

*checks YouTube to ensure there isn’t a blue, Rainbow style version of Sooty*

Phew! Anyway, this was just a precursor to the biggest era of Shabba’s popularity when “Mr Loverman” was rereleased in 1993 (it had been a No 23 hit earlier this year) and he became a part of that unholy ‘S’ trinity alongside Snow and Shaggy. Dear God!

Now I’ve heard of the concept of the difficult second album. It’s a well known idea that sees a band put their creative juices into writing their debut with all their life experiences so far contributing to the songs. Said debut garners huge commercial success which instigates pressure from the record company to immediately come up with a second hit album just 12 months later. I’m also familiar with ‘third album syndrome’ where a band struggles to define their musical identity after the whirlwind of recording, promoting and touring the first two albums. But ‘fourth album complex’? Not so much.

That was what appeared to be afflicting Deacon Blue in late ‘92 though. With their fourth album “Whatever You Say, Say Nothing” due for release early the following year, lead single “Your Town” was sent out into the busy Xmas market to plug it. Maybe not the best time to trail your new sound on reflection. For it was a new sound. I recall quite some coverage in the media about how this wasn’t the Deacon Blue that we had all come to know and love – well some of us anyway.

After the well crafted pop gems of the first three albums, the band seemed to decide that they needed to add a bit of a dance edge to their work to remain credible in the light of the continuing take over of the charts by that genre. Deacon Blue go dance?! Well, sort of. I mean they didn’t turn into 2 Unlimited overnight or anything like that but “Your Town” definitely sounded different. Beginning with a drawn out, repeated wail from Lorraine McKintosh, it built steadily via some shimmering blips and bleeeps until the driving backing track kicked in. Then came Ricky Ross’s vocals that sounded like they were being sung through a megaphone (or possibly a vocoder?). It was disarming but I presume deliberate. There was a song structure to it of sorts but they’d certainly played around with it. The coda for example was one, long play out with no vocals other than the return of Lorraine’s wail at the end. To be fair, it lent it a soundtrack style epic feel.

For all that, I dismissed it at the time as being experimental bollocks. The fact that the single came with various dance mixes including a Perfecto one didn’t impress me – in fact it depressed me. It was no “Dignity” that’s for sure. Listening to it now, I think that was a hasty judgement that could do with some heavy revision . The album made No 4 and achieved gold status sales. Nothing to be sniffed at but also way below the sales of their first three albums. It would prove to be their final one of the decade and their last for eight whole years.

A milestone next as after nearly five years, we have arrived at Kylie Minogue’s last ever single with PWL/ Stock, Aitken and Waterman. “Celebration” was the single in question, a cover of the Kool And The Gang hit from 1980 and the second single to be pulled from her very first Greatest Hits album. It was also her 19th UK chart hit. 19th! In five years. Just under four a year every year. Like her or loath her, she was prolific. Sadly, I don’t think her voice is really up to interpreting this disco classic. The staging for this studio performance is convincing enough though, giving off a real 70s disco vibe…despite erm…the song being sung dating from 1980. It all just makes the Undercover performance even more perplexing.

“Celebration” peaked at No 20.

From Kylie to Jason (nearly an early KLF song title there). This surely must have been a deliberate decision on the running order by the TOTP producers? It’s hard to tell if Kylie and Jason Donovan were in the studio together at the same time as there’s a weird, swirling, pixelated effect on the camera shot from the former to the latter but I don’t think it’s a retransmission of his performance from the other week as he’s wearing different clothes.

“As Time Goes By” was the single he was plugging and it stank of desperation for a big hit. The fact that it peaked at No 26 and was his last ever UK chart entry tells you everything you need to know about Jason’s decline in popularity by this point. It’s quite a moment in time. Kylie severs her ties with SAW and embarks on a career that is still going to this day and has brought her both sales and credibility. Jason meanwhile had also recently left SAW and can’t get arrested. Bye Jason. Thanks for…everything?!

Another week and another ‘exclusive’ performance which this time is live from Los Angeles and is Rod Stewart sporting a beard and continuing in his quest to convince the world that he is Tom Waits. Not content with murdering “Downtown Train”, he’s now having a hack at “Tom Traubert’s Blues”. The opening track of Tom’s 1976 album “Small Change”, it’s based on Australian folk tune and unofficial national anthem “Waltzing Matilda”. Just to make sure all us Neanderthals realised this, Rod has helpfully renamed his version “Tom Traubert’s Blues (Waltzing Matilda)”. Cheers for that Rod.

It’s an OK version I guess in that he doesn’t completely ruin it but you’d have to worry about someone who thought Rod’s was the definitive take on the song. It was clearly released with an eye on the Xmas No 1 and to be fair it gave a decent account of itself by rising to No 6. One final thing, that’s not Huey Lewis on the piano in this performance surely?

Charles And Eddie are still No 1 with “Would I Lie To You” but not for much longer. They bow out with the second live by satellite performance of the show, this time from Toronto, Canada. When these were first introduced at the start of the ‘year zero’ era, I guess they seemed different and were an attempt to shake up the old format but a year on I can’t really see the point of them. They tend to be in empty venues (possibly due to the time differences) and they generate very little in the way of excitement. There’s not even any interaction with the presenters anymore (as excruciating as that was!). I get that the artists featured are either on tour or doing promotional work and couldn’t be in the TOTP studio but just show the video instead. Really.

As for Charles And Eddie, unlike Sooty and friends, their appeal would not endure and despite winning three Ivor Novello awards for “Would I Lie To You”, they would achieve only three more minor UK hit singles before disbanding in 1995.

And finally some bonus content…

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	EMF	It’s You	Nope
2	Guns N’ Roses	Yesterdays	Not the single but I have it on a Greatest Hits CD
3	Undercover	Never Let Her Slip Away	Never happening
4	Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine	The Impossible Dream (The Quest)	I did not
5	Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill	Slow And Sexy	As if
6	Deacon Blue	Your Town	Nah
7	Kylie Minogue	Celebration	No but my wife had that Greatest Hits album of hers
8	Jason Donovan	As Time Goes By	No
9	Rod Stewart	Tom Traubert’s Blues (Waltzing Matilda)	No but I think my wife has the Tom Waits album it’s from
10	Charles And Eddie	Would I Lie To You?	And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00170d8/top-of-the-pops-26111992