I’m still way behind in these TOTP reviews (give me a break BBC4!) but at least I’m now in the same month as the repeats schedule which is February of 1996. It’s yet another ‘golden mic’ host in comedian Lee Evans (who was only on just the other week it feels like). In fact, the celebrity host rather than a Radio 1 DJ seemed to be the norm around this time. Next week we have Julian Cope (blimey!) and the week after that Justine Frischmann from Elastica. As for the music, it’s the usual mix bag of styles with the following genres represented – bouncy techno (that was a thing apparently), art rock, Britpop, heavy rock, Gabber (again, a thing apparently), hardbag (seriously, I’m not making these up!), rap metal and…well…whatever you want to label Babylon Zoo as.

So what category does opening act QFX fall into? Well, they’re the ‘bouncy techno’ outfit according to Wikipedia. I have no recall of this lot at all but it seems they were from Scotland and had five medium sized UK Top 40 hits. A bit like Time Frequency then (in my easily befuddled by dance music brain anyway). This one – “Everytime You Touch Me” – was their first and second biggest when it peaked at No 22. So what was this ‘bouncy techno’ of which I speak? Well, unsurprisingly given where QFX hailed from, it originated in the Scottish rave scene before it crossed the channel to infiltrate the Dutch happy hardcore market where it became known as gabber (more of that later). It was characterised by having a tempo of 160 to 180 bpm and…oh I’ve no idea have I? I just know it wasn’t for me. Like I said earlier, I was easily confused by dance music. Though I couldn’t get into the music, I can appreciate the wild steps by the backing dancers in this performance. Unreal. Do you think the silver suits were influenced by the current No 1?

A bit of art rock? Look, these aren’t my categories but Wikipedia’s OK? I would just put “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” by Radiohead firmly in the ‘bloody good tune’ box. The fifth and final single from “The Bends”, its release seemed like a very big moment in the band’s career. Up to this point, their singles had only just brushed the Top 20 but going straight in at No 5 showed how much the band’s fan base had grown. Sure it was out of the Top 40 two weeks later but the fact that they could release a track from an album that had been out for just under a year by this point and it garnered such first week sales illustrated how much interest there was in Radiohead. And who wouldn’t be interested in this song! Based around a rolling guitar arpeggio, it was the definition of sublime. The fact that it was in and out of the Top 40 very quickly only added to its power – in a way it was too good for the charts. Some of the other hits taking up chart positions around it didn’t deserve to be in its presence. It came, it outshine everything else and…well…faded out. We wouldn’t see or hear any new Radiohead material for the next 15 months before “Paranoid Android” trailed third album, the seminal “OK Computer”.

Want to hear a ‘hardbag’ dance tune? No, me neither but it’s not up to me is it? Blame TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill or the punters that bought the record. Said record was “The Naughty North & The Sexy South” by E–Motion. What a racket this was both sonically and metaphorically. Somebody was making money out of this nonsense. Even this small amount of exposure to the track via this TOTP repeat is giving me a headache. Just repetitive, hammering beats with the track’s title rapped over and over. Look, everyone knows if you’re singing about the naughty north and the sexy south, it goes like this…

In the naughty north and in the sexy south

We’re all singing, I have the mouth

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Adam Ant / Marco Pirroni
Ant Rap lyrics © Tamadan Ltd.

Even the video is shite, using lazy cultural stereotype lookalikes to illustrate the north (Oasis, a whippet, an old fella gurning) and the south (Blur, Del Boy, pearly kings and queens) . Where are Marco, Merrick, Terry Lee, Gary Tibbs and yours truly when you need them?

I don’t think there can be too many disputing voices if I categorise the next band as being Britpop can there? The Bluetones were very much seen as part of that movement with their place at the forefront of it being secured by this – their biggest ever hit – “Slight Return”. I hadn’t taken that much notice of the band’s first two major label single releases “Are You Blue Or Are You Blind” and “Bluetonic” despite them both being Top 40 hits but I couldn’t ignore this one when it crashed into the charts at No 2. I recall selling out of it in the Our Price store I worked presumably because the initial copies the company’s buying department had allocated for us (the scale out) weren’t enough to cope with the demand. Maybe they were caught on the hop by the single’s success? Understandable I guess considering those two previous hits had peaked at Nos 31 and 19. I also seem to remember there being some issues restocking it with our orders continually coming back as out of stock. Distribution issues or perhaps their label were similarly caught on the hop by their artist’s sudden rise to fame? None of us should have been really as it’s a great song, full of melody and hooks. That stuttering chorus allied to a shuffling beat – it was a winner all day long. Singer Mark Morriss looked every inch a Britpop hero in his massive parka type coat. He must have just dissolved into a pool of sweat when he got back to the dressing room though after performing in it under those studio lights. Eleven days after this TOTP aired, the band’s debut album “Expecting To Fly” was released and certainly lived up to its title by soaring to the top of the charts in week one. The Bluetones had lift off!

Definitely and defiantly another Britpop act now as the watching millions get introduced to Northern Uproar. These little scamps were from Stockport which, coincidentally, was where I was working at the time in the Our Price in Merseyway shopping centre. Coming on like a distant member of the Gallagher family tree, they powered their way to a No 17 hit with this double A-side single “From A Window” / This Morning”. Listening to it now, it all seems very derivative and a bit of a mess frankly but it probably seemed very exciting back in 1996. Frontman Leon Meya did seem to have a bit of presence at least though his wardrobe had, like Mark Morriss before him, been influenced by Liam Gallagher a bit too much.

In my last post, I stated that I’d been trying to organise a PA for the Our Price in Stockport where I worked but my plans to secure Upside Down had been met with a definite “Forget it”. I’m pretty sure my attention then shifted to Stockport’s very own Northern Uproar but clearly any intentions I had didn’t get any further than the “What about…” stage as I never got any nearer to them than watching this TOTP appearance.

After a double barrel of Britpop, now it’s time for something completely different. I don’t recall the term ‘Gabber’ being in common use back in 1996 as a descriptor for this type of music but maybe I wasn’t moving in the right circles to hear it. Technohead were one of its protagonists but having watched their performance of “I Wanna Be A Hippy” back, my uninformed take on it would be that it was happy hardcore. I don’t think I’m that far off in my assessment as both strands emerged from the Dutch techno rave scene in the early 90s. According to Wikipedia, the difference between the two is that happy hardcore has breakbeats running alongside the 4/4 kick drum…whatever the hell that means.

Technohead was yet another alias for husband and wife team of Michael Wells and Lee Newman whose previous vehicles included Tricky Disco and LFO. “I Wanna Be A Hippy” was remixed by Dutch-American producers Flamman & Abraxas and had been a massive hit all around Europe in 1995. Everywhere in fact except the UK. Our resistance to the Gabber effect was only so resilient though and we yielded early the following year when it made No 6 in our charts. Based around a song from the 1989 comedy film Rude Awakening called “I Like Marijuana”, its references to drug taking (“I want to get stoned on Mari-marijuana” and “I want to get high”) were never going to fly on the BBC’s prime time, before the watershed, flagship pop music show so the performance here is highly edited with the offending lyrics literally blanked out and not mimed. It kind of makes a nonsense of the whole thing as if it wasn’t nonsensical enough already. The awful thing is, once heard, the track becomes an immovable ear worm. I can’t get it out of my head and it’s driving me mad! Gabber Gabber Don’t!

And so we arrive at the second tenuous link to Adam And The Ants of the night in the form of rap metal outfit (if that indeed is what they were) Dog Eat Dog. I literally have zero memories of this lot and their hit “No Fronts:The Remixes” though I actually don’t mind it now that I’m acquainted with it. The last time this lot were on the show, the lead singer’s very staid and sensible haircut caused quite a reaction online from the BBC4 TOTP community. I wonder if back in the day a similar thing had happened as he’s donned a baseball cap (on backwards naturally) for this second appearance.

Now, we saw the BBC make heavy edits to literally the previous act’s hit and yet there seemed to be zero censorship of “No Fronts: The Remixes” which includes the lyrics:

By the smell on the skunk, it’s the funk we blow it. So split the mud and reach for the sack, ease up your mind never look back. Inhale deeply and pass it around, c’mon everybody, let’s all get down….No guns just blunts, we kick this just for fun

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dan Nastasi / Dave Neabore / David Maltby / John Martin Connor / Sean Kilkenny
No Fronts lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Blimey! They weren’t exactly a bunch of ‘goody two shoes’ were they?! Ahem. Presumably the BBC censors didn’t know that what a ‘blunt’* was!

*A hollowed out cigar filled with cannabis

There’s no doubting the musical genre of the next artist. Meatloaf never strayed very far from the rock ballad blueprint did he? This particular example of it – “Not A Dry Eye In The House” – would be his penultimate UK Top 10 hit. After being disregarded for a slot on the show as one of the new entries to the chart last week, TOTP couldn’t ignore The Meat any longer when it climbed to No 7.

I have to say that it’s not a great example of his canon of work but then it wasn’t written by long term partner Jim Steinman. Rather it came from the pen of Dianne Warren who undeniably knew her way around a soft rock ballad having written Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”, Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” and Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” amongst many, many others. However, “Not A Dry Eye In The House” seems to be soft rock ballad by numbers to me which somehow lacks the theatre of some of Meatloaf’s biggest hits. It’s a serviceable example of the genre but I’m surprised it was as big a hit as it was.

“Spaceman” by Babylon Zoo is obviously still No 1 what with it being the best selling single in the UK for 30 years by that point.

Now as I’m still behind with these write ups, I’m going to just leave this here. This is the Zupervarian remix of the track which is what the public thought they were buying based on the Levi’s ad. The happy hardcore (that again) version with the speeded up vocals all the way through. You’re welcome.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	QFX	Everytime You Touch Me	No
2	Radiohead	Street Spirit (Fade Out)	No but I had The Bends album
3	E-Motion	The Naughty North & The Sexy South	As if
4	The Bluetones	Slight Return	Could have but didn’t
5	Northern Uproar	From A Window / This Morning	Nope
6	Technohead	I Wanna Be A Hippy	Never
7	Dog East Dog	No Fronts:The Remixes	Nah
8	Meatloaf	Not A Dry Eye In The House	I did not
9	Babylon Zoo	Spaceman	I am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001z96w/top-of-the-pops-01021996?seriesId=unsliced