TOTP 06 JUN 1996

Ah, it’s time for that infrequent event of a TOTP being aired on my birthday. This particular show coincided with my 28th birthday (I’m now 56) and usually I wouldn’t have remembered what I got up to on my special day but, as I revealed just the other week, I recently rediscovered an old diary that helpfully covers the year 1996 in its entirety so lets see what occurred that day.

*checks diary*

Well, sensibly I’d booked the day off work and so had lunch in town with my wife before another meal in the evening at a favourite restaurant. Perfect. I did fit in going to my first aid course in between eating and I hope I was listening carefully as I spent the next couple of days with a gippy stomach. Maybe that favourite restaurant shouldn’t have been such a favourite! Anyway, presumably I didn’t see this TOTP episode due to being out so let’s see what I missed.

Tonight’s host is Nicky Campbell and the first act he introduces is Louise who is back in the charts with her third, and possibly most well known, solo single “Naked”. This was the point in the ex-Eternal member’s career when her management/label made a clear and definite decision to change her image from angelic, girl-next-door to pvc-clad, sex goddess. It worked as well. FHM Magazine readers voted Louise second in their list of the ‘100 Sexiest Women’ of 1996 (XFiles star Gillian Anderson came first). I’m guessing one of those that voted for Louise may have been this fellow (@jjtotheb) who commented on the YouTube video of this performance:

“I remember having my first tug to this”

Well, you can’t argue with that I guess. Or maybe you can. Providing the view from the other side is this chap on Twitter/X:

Hmm. Well, whatever your feelings about Louise, we should probably do her the courtesy of discussing her song rather than just her looks and clearly “Naked” was written as a integral component of her rebrand. With lyrics that include the words ‘sexual’, ‘sensual’ and, of course, its title, there was no doubt that this was a much sassier type of track than she had been given previously. To my ears it was a catchy, competent soul/pop hit that was a bit Madonna-lite* and no more but it’s No 5 peak helped to establish Louise as a genuine solo artist with a chart career. She would clock up a further nine UK hits all but two of which would go Top 10.

*Actually, the synthesised riff in the chorus of “Naked” is very reminiscent of the intro and outro motif of “Father Figure” also now I come to think of it.

After “Children” gave Robert Miles a continent-straddling mega-hit earlier in the year, it must have seemed to the poster boy for ‘dream house’ music that the obvious way to follow it up was to release another track that was almost identical to its predecessor. Genius! And lo, it came to pass, that the single “Fable” did just that. The record buying public did what they always do and fell for the trick by buying enough copies to send it to No 7. So, the moral of the story of fable is ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ otherwise known as ‘don’t f**k with the formula’.

Now, before carrying on, I feel I should pull Nicky Campbell up on something he says in his intro for the next artist who is Tina Turner. Our host describes her as “the great soul survivor” and notes that the performance we are about to see of her new single “On Silent Wings” is from a live concert in Rotterdam before announcing “and let’s face it, if you can survive Rotterdam, you can survive anything”. What?! Why the need to slag off Holland’s second biggest city? Has he even been there? I can’t vouch for what it was like in 1996 but I visited it in 2018 and it was delightful. The Markthal (Market Place complex) is a marvel, its skyline stunning and parks wonderful to spend time in. A few months after this TOTP aired, The Beautiful South would have a big hit with “Rotterdam (Or Anywhere)” though I’m not sure that was a love letter to the city either. Around the same time that song was in the charts, I found myself on holiday in Barcelona where Tina’s Wildest Dreams tour was in town at the Palau Sant Jordi sports arena. I didn’t feel the need to shell out a small fortune that I didn’t have for tickets, I must admit.

Anyway, back to “On Silent Wings” which was the third single pulled from her “Wildest Dreams” album which was, rather surprisingly, her first collection of new studio material since 1989’s “Foreign Affair”. Those intervening years had been filled with a Best Of and the soundtrack to the biopic of her life. I’m guessing I wasn’t really paying much attention to this era of Tina as I couldn’t tell you how any of the songs from this album went but I was surprised to read that it was produced by Trevor Horn. The country-tinged slumber fest that is “On Silent Wings” is a world away from his iconic work with the likes of ABC, Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Art Of Noise. Apparently, the studio recording of the song also features vocals by Sting which obviously we don’t get to hear in this ‘live’ clip. Money for nothing or money for old rope? You decide.

Really?! In 1996, did we really have to have this in the charts?! A pretty much identikit version of one of Cliff Richard’s most naff, sickly and insipid tunes by a bloke who would be given the middle name of ‘love rat’ by the tabloids?! I refer, of course, to Darren Day, a former Butlin’s redcoat who made a small name for himself in 1988 via talent show Opportunity Knocks (then hosted by Bob Monkhouse) before carving out a bigger career on London’s West End theatre circuit. His appearance on TOTP though arose from his turn as the star of the touring stage version of the 1963 film Summer Holiday. I’m guessing there was a soundtrack album to go with the show and so the titular track was released as a single. I can’t quite work out who would have wanted to shell out hard cash to purchase this though. Someone who had been to the show and wanted a souvenir of it? Wouldn’t a tour programme have sufficed?

Day does a passable impression of Cliff in his performance of “Summer Holiday” but I don’t think the presence of the songwriters (Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett of The Shadows) on stage with him is as a big a scoop as Nicky Campbell tries to make out in his intro. Day looks like someone who you would be happy to take home to meet your parents here, in total contrast to the image he would go on to cultivate. In the 90s alone, he was engaged to Ana Friel, Tracy Shaw and Isla Fisher. Into the 2000s, he was in a relationship with Hear’say singer Suzanne Shaw (he seemed to have a thing for women with that surname) with whom he had a child and they would also work together in a relaunch of the Summer Holiday show. The last entry in his filmography on Wikipedia came back in 2018 with a minor role in The Krays: Dead Man Walking.

Next up we have the first sighting of a group that my friend Robin once dismissed (he’s good at dismissing things) as being a “joke band”. In Robin’s defence, he wasn’t alone in his opinion. Scousers Space gave the music press a dilemma in that they were hard to categorise. ‘Wacky’, ‘Novelty’, ‘Quirky’ and, in a spectacularly failed attempt by some hack to appear pithy, ‘Queasy Listening’ were just some of the descriptors used to label the band’s sound. Lead singer Tommy Scott was especially combatant in his refusal to accept such tags:

“It is because I just do not want to stick to one genre of music. I am into everything so why can’t it all just go into one song? Why would you want to do just country or rock? Why can’t you just do what you want?”

Skillen, Paul (29 January 2021). “‘Scouse Pop: Essay On Creativity”. University of Chester.

Have that Robin! For my part, I quite liked their stuff. Yeah, it was a bit out there yet catchy enough to make daytime radio playlists. My wife liked them enough to buy their debut album “Spiders” which would furnish the band with four hit singles no less. The first of those (though actually their fourth single release) was “Female Of The Species”, its title no doubt inspired by both the Rudyard Kiping poem and the title track to 1950s James Bond rip off film Deadlier Than The Male by The Walker Brothers.:

In this performance, Scott looks just the right side of being a wide eyed, crazy person but then such an image never did Keith Moon any harm did it? Well…yeah it did I suppose seeing as his self destructive behaviour led to him dying at the age of 32 but you get my point. The really lazy option was to lump them in with all those Britpop bands (I’m sure we did in the Our Price store I was working in when it came to setting up a Britpop display) but that was…well…really lazy. They were distinctly different from the usual Britpop candidates like fellow scousers Cast* who were ploughing a much more ‘authentic’, 60s influenced guitar sound.

*I should point out that I did also like Cast to be fair

The “Spiders” album peaked at No 5 whilst 1998’s follow up “Tin Planet” went Top 3 but it seemed as if, once the 90s were over, so were Space’s commercial fortunes. A third album’s release was constantly delayed leading to the band leaving their record label whilst line up changes meant that they pulled their own legs off in 2005 by breaking up the band. A reunion in 2011 has seen them release a further four albums (including that ever delayed third one “Love You More Than Football”) and they still tour to this day proving that there is still space for Space even three decades later.

Due to its success and ubiquity, we would all be forgiven for thinking that “Three Lions (It’s Coming Home)” by Baddiel & Skinner / Lightning Seeds was the official song of the Euro 96 football championships. It wasn’t however – that particular ‘honour’ fell to Simply Red who gave the world this woeful own goal of a song “We’re In This Together”. Apparently this was the last track on their 1995 album “Life” and ‘last’ is how previous act Space might have described it in their Scouse vernacular because it was and remains a terrible track. Awful. Just no good. It hasn’t even got any thing to do with football as far as I can tell judging by the lyrics in which Hucknall wails about “the train of universal feeling” and his eyes being “open just like the ocean”. Utter drivel.

The track was performed at the opening and closing ceremonies of the tournament but I’m guessing hardly anyone remembers it despite that exposure. Of all the plethora of football songs that littered the charts around this time (and there were a lot most of which were indescribably terrible), I think this is the worst. I listened the other day to an interview with the comedian Joe Pasquale (stay with me) and he recounted the tale of an early gig in Wales when he was on the end of what he described as the worst heckle in the world. A member of the audience who was on crutches threw them at Joe and then slumped to the floor shouting something in Welsh at him as he fell. Pasquale picked up the crutches and left the stage at which point a guy met him round the side and said could he have his mate’s crutches back. When Joe asked him what his mate had shouted at him, he replied “You don’t want to know”. Pasquale insisted and was told that he’d shouted “I’d rather fall over than listen to this shit!” and he was true to his word. This is exactly how I feel about Simply Red’s “We’re In This Together”.

From a dodgy tune to a tune by Dodgy now as the “Staying Out For The Summer” hitmakers return with “In A Room”, lead single from their third studio album “Free Peace Sweet” (see what they did there?). I think this track gets overshadowed rather by subsequent single “Good Enough” which is surely their best known hit (apparently one of the most played tracks on British radio in the last 25 years) but it’s actually a pretty decent song in its own right. Angular guitars allied with some breezy drumming courtesy of Matthew Priest and a strident if not completely obvious hook would give them their then biggest hit when it debuted at No 12. Just a few short weeks later though would come that ever present hit making Dodgy good enough for daytime radio playlists everywhere and consigning “In A Room” to also-ran status. Shame.

By 1996, it was four years since Shakespeares Sister had topped the charts for eight weeks with their mammoth hit “Stay” but it felt more like forty. The pop world had not so much moved on as relocated to the other side of the planet and Siobhan Fahey was struggling to find her way back to it. I say Siobhan Fahey as Marcella Detroit had long since been jettisoned from the band rather publicly via an acceptance speech by the former’s publisher at the 1993 Ivor Novello Awards ceremony. After dealing with some personal issues (not least her divorce from Eurythmics Dave Stewart), the Shakespeares Sister project was relaunched with the single “I Can Drive”. Much less ‘pop’ than their previous stuff, it has a definite glam rock bent to it with Siobhan’s much maligned vocals and delivery making her look and sound like she’s auditioning for a part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The song itself has shades of “All The Young Dudes” to it but the verses sound just like those of this hit for OMD that was released just a couple of months after this TOTP aired. Who copied who I wonder?

“I Can Drive” didn’t provide the jump leads to restart Shakespeare Sister’s career that Siobhan must have been hoping for when it stalled at No 30. Relations between her label London Records deteriorated to the point that they refused to release third album “#3” and a parting of the ways became inevitable. The album was finally released in 2004 on Fahey’s own website and a reunion with Marcella Detroit in 2019 saw the duo release a new single and embark upon a tour together.

And so we arrive at the record that would become the biggest selling single of 1996 in the UK. Although the Fugees had already had a Top 40 hit earlier in the year with “Fu-Gee-La”, I don’t think I’d even noticed it as it debuted and exited our charts in just three weeks back in April. Fast forward a couple of months and they went supernova with their cover of Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” which they retitled as “Killing Me Softly”. If I remember correctly, this was around the time that record companies started to allow new singles to be made available in the shops to buy on the Sunday of the week of release as opposed to the traditional Monday. I guess they realised that with stores now routinely opening on both weekend days after the Sunday Trading Act of 1994, there was some logic in stimulating more sales of their products by having them on the shelves for an extra day. I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport on the Sunday that “Killing Me Softly” came out and all I remember doing is selling copy after copy of it from opening to closing time. I couldn’t refill the shelves quick enough (Stockport was a two floor store and I think there was only two of us in that day; I was downstairs where the singles were). It was absolutely relentless.

Why did it capture the nation’s hearts so? Well, it was a bloody good cover version with the hip-hop slant the band put on it coming up trumps alongside some unusual hooks such as the synth sitar sound that kickstarts the track and Wyclef Jean’s “One time, two times” interjected chants. Even so, did that explain its stratospheric sales? It was No 1 just about everywhere and the best selling single of the year not just here but in Germany, Holland, Iceland and Belgium as well. In the UK, it spent nine consecutive weeks at either No 1 or No 2 and 15 weeks inside the Top 40. Its sales were still going strong when the band released follow up “Ready Or Not” causing their record label Columbia to withdraw it from sale to clear the path for its successor. Maybe it was something to do with the amount that radio got behind the track. It broke the record at the time for the most radio plays in a week in the UK. Whatever the reasons, it made the Fugees superstars for a while and led to successful solo careers for all three members Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean and Pras Michel.

After blowing smoke up their collective arses for most of this review, I have to say that the performance here is actually quite annoying mainly due to Wyclef Jean who insists on shouting about being on Top of the Pops and bellowing “Yo!” and “Pow!” over and over. Makes you wish he was “Gone till November”.

The play out video is “The Changing Man” by Paul Weller. Why were we seeing the video for a hit from 12 months previous? It was to trail the fact that Weller would be doing two tracks live on the show next week that Nicky Campbell referred to. It was a feature designed to promote the new Friday night slot that the show was shifting to over the Summer due to the Euro 96 football tournament. It would prove to be a short lived phenomenon with only the reactivated Sex Pistols going on to perform two songs on the show later in the month. As I’ll have already reviewed “The Changing Man” in the 1995 TOTP repeats, I won’t delay myself here any further.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1LouiseNakedNope
2Robert MilesFableNegative
3Tina TurnerOn Silent WingsNah
4Darren DaySummer HolidayAs if
5SpaceFemale Of The SpeciesNo but my wife had their Spiders album
6Simply RedWe’re In This TogetherGod no!
7DodgyIn A RoomNo but my wife had the Free Peace Sweet album
8Shakespeares SisterI Can DriveNo
9FugeesKilling Me SoftlyNo but my wife had The Score album it came from
10Paul WellerThe Changing ManNo but I had the Stanley Road album with it on

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0022v3t/top-of-the-pops-06061996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 30 MAY 1996

Those sneaky BBC4 schedulers have done me dirty by suddenly announcing with a day’s notice that the 1996 TOTP repeats are back. I thought I had at least another week to knock out this last remaining episode for review before they’d start again! Serves me right for dragging my feet I guess. Sadly, as well as being my favourite word, procrastination is also my middle name.

Before I crack on with this particular show, I should address the fact that we’ve missed one. The 23rd May episode was not repeated with the general consensus being that it was for reasons of sensitivity. One of the artists featured was the actor John Alford who is best known for his roles in Grange Hill and London’s Burning. Alford was giving this soap star turned pop star malarkey a go – well, it had worked for loads of others before him including another ex Grange Hill pupil in Sean Maguire who, by massive coincidence, was also on the same show. Alford managed three UK chart hits in 1996 (all cover versions obviously) but subsequently disappeared after his only album tanked when peaking at No 171. In later years he has had several run ins with the law and is currently awaiting trial for alleged sex offences involving a girl aged under 16 hence the decision not to air the show he featured on presumably. I’ve had a look at the rest of the running order for that particular episode and there is little chance of FOMO raising its head in my personal opinion. In addition to the aforementioned Alford and Maguire, most of the other hits on that week we’d already seen before including those by Robert Miles, Black Grape, Tony Rich Project, Gina G and, unbelievably, Mark Morrison (again!). We did miss out on SWV and Dodgy but I can live with that.

Tonight’s hosts are funny men Jack Dee and the late Jeremy Hardy who do the whole show as if they were BBC presenters from the 50s which is fairly amusing for most of the time. We open with, I read to my astonishment when researching them, the best-selling boy band of all time!! What?! The Backstreet Boys?! That’s what Wikipedia tells me, yes. It also says that they are the first group since Led Zeppelin to have their first ten albums reach the Top 10 on the US charts. OK, so there are a couple of things to unpack here before we go any further. Firstly, the Backstreet Boys have made ten albums?! Surely not! I’m checking their discography. Wait there…

…they have! Although, one of them is a Christmas album and didn’t make the Top 10 in America. Maybe that claim included Greatest Hits compilations? Secondly, the biggest selling boy band of all time? What about New Kids On The Block or Take That or One Direction? Or even one of those K-pop groups? And what criteria are we using to define boy band? Were The Beatles* a boy band or The Jackson 5? If they qualify the. Surely they outsold Backstreet Boys?

*Obviously they weren’t but I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here

Whatever the truth behind the claim, their sales certainly didn’t start out like that. Not in the UK anyway. Their first two singles releases failed to make the Top 40 over here (though both were subsequently rereleased and became hits). Somehow the UK were initially impervious to the five piece’s charms but we finally caved when third single “Get Down (You’re The One For Me)” made it to No 14. Quite why though remains a mystery to me as it’s awful, useless, just no good. Based around that annoying swing beat riff that was prevalent about a year before and used on hits by the likes of MN8 and Montell Jordan with hackneyed, pseudo sexual lyrics, it truly stank the place out. They weren’t even that good looking were they? Maybe the pretty boy one with blonde hair but the rest? What did I know though. Their next thirteen singles went Top 10 in the UK including a No 1, two No 2s and four No 3s. It seemed that we really were getting down with the Backstreet Boys and they were indeed the ones for us.

From a boy band to a collaboration that was rather more out of left field albeit that one of the collaborators was about to become so successful that a crossover into the mainstream would be inevitable. Jamiroquai were an established chart act by this point with two hit albums and a readily identifiable sound to their name. They also had Jay Kay as their frontman who was providing the gossip columns with material as he embraced the pop star lifestyle. In 1996, their third album “Travelling Without Moving” was released and would go on to sell eight million copies worldwide, four times more than the sales of their first two combined. It also generated their three highest charting singles to date in “Virtual Insanity” (No 3), “Cosmic Girl” (No 6) and “Alright” (No 6). Before all of those though came “Do U Know Where You’re Coming From”. This was a joint project with jungle pioneer MBeat and you might be forgiven for thinking that this was a revamp of the similarly titled Diana Ross hit “Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” given that M-Beat’s last hit had been a cover of another female soul singer – Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love”. It wasn’t (thank God!). What it was though, to my ears, was a track that was trying to tick too many musical boxes but ended up being a confused, mess of a song. I think there might be a decent tune in there somewhere but all those shuffling, jungle breakbeats just kept fracturing any cohesiveness it might have had.

The single did get to No 12 and was included as an extra track on “Travelling Without Moving” (albeit with a very slight title change). M-Beat (aka Marlon Hart) would not have any further UK chart hits though he did produce remixes for Soul II Soul and Roy Davis Jr. who would have minor hits with them in the late 90s. Hart himself would become homeless not long after this TOTP appearance before taking IT consultancy positions for McLaren F1 and Lloyds Bank and finally returning to music in 2022. So he did know where he was coming from after all!

Well, this is shaping up to be a show of extremes. We move from a jungle/acid jazz-funk mash up to some hard rock courtesy of Metallica. A Top 10 hit pretty much everywhere, “Until It Sleeps” was the lead single from new album “Load”. It’ll come as no surprise to anyone who’s taken even a passing interest in my blog previously that I‘m not the biggest Metallica fan. I can acknowledge the power of “Enter Sandman” but that’s the extent of my appreciation. Consequently, this track didn’t and doesn’t make my musical radar bleep.

Its video is more interesting to me though. It looks like the set of a horror movie or perhaps the darker moments of Stranger Things most of the time but its imagery is apparently inspired by the work of 15th century Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch, specifically The Garden Of Earthly Delights, Haywain and Ecce Homo. I can’t say that I’m that familiar with Bosch’s work but here’s @TOTPFacts with the visual evidence:

From high art to a rancid fart of a song. That dreadful moment of the 90s is upon us – it’s time for Peter Andre and “Mysterious Girl”. Brace yourselves everyone, we’re going in! It seems an odd concept to grasp now but there was a time when Peter Andre wasn’t a part of our lives, always there in the cultural milieu, grifting away at his latest cash grab and attempting to give himself a sheen of relevance and currency. So embedded is he in our society that in the 2007 British comedy film Grow Your Own starring Eddie Marsan, at one point in its story about locals on an allotment reacting angrily when some refugees are given plots on it, one character announces “You know who I blame? Peter Andre!”.

Back in 1996 though, he was only known for one minor hit single in the UK called…erm… “Only One”. A concerted media campaign targeting teen magazines though raised his profile enough to put out a follow up. “Mysterious Girl” was actually a rerelease having peaked at No 53 in September 1995. We all dodged a bullet then but when the gun was reloaded for a second time we were hit right between the eyes with both barrels. This horrible, cod reggae, Inner Circle rip off would spend eleven consecutive weeks in the UK Top 10 mainly skittering between Nos 2 and 3. Thankfully it never made it to the top of the charts though even that silver lining would become a black cloud burst in 2004 when it got to No 1 after a concerted campaign by DJ Chris Moyles. Gee, thanks Chris. I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport in 1996 and we sold this single over and over and over again. When we’d finished doing that, we sold it some more and every time I did, the questions running around my head were “What am I doing with my life? How did it come to this?”. I’d had similar thoughts when I’d been the stand in Father Christmas in Debenhams seven years earlier whilst sat in Santa’s Grotto surrounded by soft toy reindeers and nodding penguins. Peter Andre – so much to blame him for.

It’s an Antipodean double whammy as we go from an Australian dope in Peter Andre to a song called “Australia” that’s pretty dope – I believe that can also mean ‘good’ in the modern vernacular*.

*God, I sound like the two stuffy characters Jeremy Hardy and Jack Dee are using to present the show!

Occupants of the revived ‘album’ slot are Manic Street Preachers and a track from their “Everything Must Go” album that would also turn out to be the fourth and final single released from it when it made No 7 in the charts in the December of 1996. The album had only been out for ten days at this point and with it going straight in at No 2, a place on the BBC’s flagship music show was not only deemed appropriate but also assured and deserved. Interestingly, the band shunned the chance to preview their next single, the album’s title track, that would hit the shops in July and instead opted for this song that was written as a metaphor for getting as far away from the UK and its tabloid press as possible in the wake of band member Richey Edwards’ disappearance the previous year. Also of note in this performance is the nerdy look of James Dean Bradfield including spectacles and a neat and tidy haircut. Quite the change from those early “Generation Terrorists” era TOTP appearances.

I’d seen the Manics support Oasis* at their Maine Road gigs a month before this show aired and would see them headline their own show about a year afterwards. I also had the album – I was becoming quite the fan though what I was not a fan of was the cardboard sleeves they insisted releasing their singles in at this time. Working in a record shop as I was, they were a pain to display.

*No, I didn’t get involved in the frankly shameful Oasis reunion gigs tickets fiasco. I saw them when they were at the top of their game and relevant – I have no desire to revisit the money grabbing so and so’s they seem to have become nearly thirty years later.

If it’s time for Celine Dion then it must also be time for a big, heart string pulling ballad and we do indeed get both these outcomes with “Because You Loved Me”. Released as the second single from her “Falling Into You” album, it was also included on the soundtrack to the film Up Close And Personal starring Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer. I’ve never seen this film before but reading the plot synopsis on Wikipedia, I don’t think I’ll be seeking it out for a viewing anytime soon. A rather stodgy sounding news drama/romance that bore no resemblance to the book on which it was based? No, I’m alright thanks. Pfeiffer was making a habit though of starring in films that had a huge big hit single featured in them. Just a few months before, Coolio had conquered the globe with his Stevie Wonder channeling “Gangsta Paradise” from Dangerous Minds.

As for “Because You Loved Me”, it’s all pretty laboured and predictable to my ears but was clearly aural nectar for lots of other people’s lugholes as it went to No 1 in America and won a Grammy and was nominated for an Academy Award. And to think we’re still 18 months away from her even bigger film ballad “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic. Gulp!

Having finally scored themselves a massive hit by rereleasing their debut single “Lifted”, the Lighthouse Family have shone their spotlight onto another earlier release to secure themselves a follow up. As well, as being the title track of their debut album, “Ocean Drive” was also their second ever single and their first ever Top 40 hit when it peaked at No 34 in October ‘95. Could the old rerelease strategy work for a second time? Of course it could and not even the fact that “Ocean Drive” was almost identical to “Lifted” would stop people buying it for a second time. Harsh? Possibly but almost certainly accurate. Yes, this was more of that radio friendly, lilting groove, smooth vocal, easy listening soul/pop that they made their name on. And why not? You didn’t have to buy or listen to it if it didn’t float your boat did you eh?

So where is Ocean Drive? Well, there’s a mile long road in the South Beach neighbourhood of Miami Beach, Florida which bears that name and is famous for its Art Deco hotels, restaurants and bars. So, that must be what inspired the song then? Well, according to Wikipedia, it wasn’t as it’s about a road in the UK. A quick search of the internet reveals that there is indeed an Ocean Drive and it’s not that far from me in Hull being located in a village in the East Riding of Yorkshire called Newport. There might not be any Art Deco buildings there but google maps shows me that there is a pub called the Crown & Anchor, one called The Jolly Sailor Inn and a fish and chip shop called Johnny Haddocks so Ocean Drive kind of fits the nautical theme. Mr and Mrs Lighthouse (as name checked by Dee and Hardy in their intro) would fit right in.

After being on the show as an ‘exclusive’ two weeks prior, Bryan Adams is back again as his single “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” has blasted into the charts at No 6. There’s something different about this second performance though that I can’t quite put my finger on…oh yeah, that’s it…Bry’s missing a member from his band. Where’s the guitarist that was standing on his left from the last time? In an attempt to fill the space, they’ve moved the keyboard player to the front of the stage but he’s no substitute for standing back to back with Bryan and rocking out like his guitarist did. Also, the drummer looks very different. On the first appearance the guy behind the kit had huge Afro hair but that’s all gone this time around. Is it the same guy? Was he just wearing a wig the first time? If it was the latter, he clearly decided to ignore the advice of the title of the track he was drumming on and ditched it.

Listening back to this, is it me or is there a slight whiff of U2 about some of the guitar work as it comes out of the chorus? No? Nothing like The Edge? How about Bry’s bass player then? If you squint your eyes does he look a bit like Adam Clayton? OK, you got me. All this talk of drummers, Adam Clayton and U2 is me trying to tee up the show’s play out tune but more of that later. First, we have a new No 1 to deal with…

And so after weeks of anticipation and a flurry of football songs in the charts that weren’t that football song, it’s finally here and it’s gone straight in at No 1. As with Peter Andre, it’s hard to recall now that there was a time when “Three Lions (It’s Coming Home)” wasn’t a part of the national psyche, wasn’t trotted out every time England played in a football tournament and wasn’t sung on the terraces. A time when the subject of a song about the England football team would instantly bring to mind New Order’s “World In Motion” or possibly “Back Home” from 1970. All of this was trampled into the turf by Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds in 1996. Now bearing in mind that Euro 96 hadn’t even started by this point, the promotion surrounding the release of the single must have been pretty extensive to have propelled it straight to the top of the charts on week one. Despite working in a record shop at the time, I can’t recall if there was a massive buzz around the song before a ball had been kicked in anger but we must have sold loads of it in that first week. After debuting at the very top of the charts, the following month saw it mostly at No 2 with a solitary week at No 4 before returning to No 1, with sales no doubt fuelled by the England team progressing to the semi-finals. We all know what fate befell them there sadly. That month gap between the two occasions that “Three Lions” was the UK’s best selling single saw “Killing Me Softly” by Fugees at No 1. It dropped a place as Euro 96 came to its climax and then leapfrogged back to the top for another week after it had finished. This meant that these two singles spent seven weeks swapping the No 1 position between them. There’s another less talked about twist of trivia that bonded the two together acts together and it really is quite bizarre – the single that the Lightning Seeds released before “Three Lions” was a song called “Ready Or Not” whilst the single that the Fugees released after “Killing Me Softly” was a song called…yep…”Ready Or Not”. What are the chances eh?

Quite why the FA approached Ian Broudie of the Lightning Seeds to write a song for the tournament I’m not sure but Broudie’s decision to get Frank Skinner and David Baddiel involved made perfect sense (ooh, see what I did there? ‘Perfect’ and ‘Sense’? Oh never mind!) what with the duo having recently finished the third and final series of Fantasy Football League for the BBC. Both comedians were by now also synonymous with the beautiful game with Skinner professing his love of WBA and Baddiel a fellow fan of my beloved Chelsea.

Like everybody in the country it seemed, I got caught up with the feel good factor that the football was bringing and “Three Lions” seemed a perfectly good soundtrack to that period. However, its repeated appearance at every football tournament since has made it almost unlistenable now. They really did flog it to death. An updated version with changed lyrics went to No 1 two years later for the 1998 World Cup and it topped the charts again as England reached the semi final in 2018 in the same competition. As far as I can tell, the only tournaments that England qualified for since the song was originally released when “Three Lions” hasn’t featured in the charts were the 2000 and 2004 Euros. My research tells me that Fat Les’s “Jerusalem” and a version of “All Together Now” were the predominant England songs for those years respectively.

The play out track is “Theme From Mission: Impossible” by Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jnr. Yes, here’s the reason for my cack handed referencing of the two members of the aforementioned U2 earlier in the post. The very first movie of the Mission: Impossible franchise was released this year and nearly 30 years later it is still going, still with Tom Cruise as the star and with the most recent outing Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One (the seventh film so far) having been released in 2023. I caught the first film at the cinema in Stockport as the Our Price store there where I was working had an arrangement with the local cinema to supply them with CDs to play in the foyer. It might even have been a special preview screening that I attended as I seem to remember coming out with a press pack of still photos etc. I think I enjoyed it but I’m not sure that I’ve watched any of the sequels in their entirety. I recall watching the original 60s TV series as a small child and being confused by Leonard Nimoy being in it but not being dressed as Mr Spock!

I’m guessing that Adam and Larry were approached to record the movie’s theme tune off the back of U2’s wildly successful contribution to the previous year’s Batman Forever film. They don’t muck about with it too much though they’ve clearly danced it up a bit and explore that further with a number of remixes on the 12” and extra tracks on the CD single. At the end of the day though, it all pales in comparison to the iconic original which kind of negates the whole thing. Competing with its composer Lalo Schifrin really did prove to be an impossible mission.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Backstreet BoysGet Down (You’re The One For Me)As if
2Jamiroquai / M-BeatDo U Know Where You’re Coming FromNo
3MetallicaUntil It SleepsI did not
4Peter AndreMysterious GirlSir! You insult me with your impertinence!
5Manic Street PreachersAustraliaNo but I had the album
6Celine DionBecause You Loved MeNever
7Lighthouse FamilyOcean DriveNope
8Bryan AdamsThe Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is YouNegative
9Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning SeedsThree Lions (It’s Coming Home)Nah
10Theme From Mission: Impossible” Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen JnrAnother no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0021s8z/top-of-the-pops-30051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 16 MAY 1996

The BBC4 TOTP repeats schedule is all over the place at the moment with some rather large gaps punctuating the 1996 episodes. As such, I’ve taken my eye off the ball somewhat but have realised that there are two shows from that year that I haven’t reviewed yet so I’m officially back to it. We pick it up in the middle of May and find footballer Ian Wright in the ‘golden mic’ slot. I think this may have been his very first shot at TV presenting which kicked off a lengthy and varied media career including game shows, panel shows, his own talk show and, of course, football punditry. Back in 1996, though coming to the end of his career, Wright was still an Arsenal player and over a year away from becoming their all time top goal scorer at the time. However, the 1995-96 season which had just finished had not been a happy one for Wrighty. He didn’t have a good relationship with dour Scottish manager Bruce Rioch leading to him putting in a transfer request (albeit that was later withdrawn). I’m guessing that Rioch wouldn’t have automatically given his blessing to one of his players hosting a pop music show (just as well that the football season had just finished) but then Wright had a natural affinity with the show having been a pop star himself (nearly) in 1993 when his single “Do The Right Thing” got to No 43 in the charts. It wasn’t totally terrible in fairness…

Anyway, TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill showed considerable foresight giving Wright his break in TV presenting given what he went on to do in his post football media activities. I’m expecting a lot of bubbly enthusiasm from him. Let’s see how he does…

We start, confusingly though, with another footballer (sort of). Eric Cantona had risen Lazarus like from his ‘king fu’ take down of a Crystal Palace fan in 1995 and the eight month ban that followed to drive Manchester United to a second double in three seasons having just scored the winner in the FA Cup final just five days before this TOTP aired. His star would never shine so bright as it did at the culmination of the 1995/96 season. To mark his remarkable comeback from potential football oblivion, there was a song in the charts honouring his achievements. In the ‘direct to camera’ section at the very start of the show, the producers had hired a Cantona lookalike to stand in a United shirt as a camera spins around him and a football commentary plays in the background. I’m not sure it works on reflection especially as the guy doesn’t look that much like Cantona and has an expression on his face that says “Ah what you gonna do? They’re paying me for this!”

Enough of football though, to the music and we start with “There’s Nothing I Won’t Do” by JX. I really haven’t much to say about this apart from I don’t remember it obviously. Their previous single- “Son Of A Gun” – I could confidently have named unprompted, probably because it was a hit twice (No 13 in 1994 and No 6 the following year) but this one? My memory banks are emptier than Liz Truss’s head. And yet, listening back to it some 28 years later, it does sound familiar but I’m putting that down to the generic nature of its Eurodance sound. As my Dad used to say to me back in the 80s, “it all sounds the same”. With awful inevitability, I know say the exact same words to my 14 year old son when he plays his music in the car.

Not remembering one Eurodance hit out of a whole ocean of them in the mid 90s is one thing but not being able to bring to mind a whole artist? That’s another level but that’s what has happened with this next artist. Who is/was Horace Brown?! I would have thought that a name like Horace would have made him more memorable to me; I mean, how many Horaces are there in the history of music? There’s Horace Andy the Jamaican roots reggae singer songwriter and…erm…Horace Wimp from the ELO song? Anyway, it turns out that this Horace was an American R&B singer who had two middling sized hits in the UK whilst signed to the Motown label. This one – “One For The Money” – was the bigger of the two when it peaked at No 12.

Taking lyrical inspiration from “Blue Suede Shoes”, it sounds a bit like… well…Another Level (to use that phrase again). Whilst those 90s soul boys were all about the sass and sang about whipped cream and licking things (eeew!), Horace Brown was less salacious and more tedious singing the rather childish line “Three to get the honeys”. That’s not even the worst lyric of “One For The Money” though. At one point he sings about “living in an eight room mansion on the hill”. An eight room mansion?! Surely a mansion has more rooms than that?! I live in a mid terrace house in Hull and we have… let me see…nine! OK, we had a loft conversion done but still. Maybe he meant eight bedrooms? Details Horace, details!

It’s yet another football song now that still (still!) isn’t that one nor is it even the Eric Cantona single but instead comes courtesy of Liverpool FC & Boot Room Boyz whose “Pass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)” is this week’s highest new entry.

Wrighty gives it the big ‘un about those now infamous cream suits that the Liverpool team wore as they strolled about the Wembley turf before kick off sarcastically calling them “blinding” but Ian himself hasn’t always got his fashion choices correct. Who could forget his bouncy castle puffer coat?

Now here’s a mystery. Quite why did Black Grape feel the need to release this standalone single called “Fat Neck”? The usual answer would be to fill the gap between albums. There were two years and three months between the band’s debut “It’s Great When You’re Straight…Yeah” and disappointing follow up “Stupid Stupid Stupid” so a new track was an established record company strategy of maintaining their artist’s profile. Mystery solved. Except…a month after “Fat Neck” another Black Grape single came out and yes, it was another football song – “England’s Irie” for the Euro 96 tournament. Admittedly, it was a collaboration with Joe Strummer and Keith Allen but surely everyone knew it as a Black Grape song which would have done the job of keeping the band’s name in lights without the need for “Fat Neck” as well?

Added to this was the fact that back in March, they’d released the third and final single from “It’s Great When You’re Straight…Yeah” in the form of “Kelly’s Heroes” meaning that Shaun and co had three singles out in four months. Both “Fat Neck” and “England’s Irie” were released on the same label (Radioactive) and even had sequential catalogue numbers so this was clearly deliberate and not a scheduling cock up between two different labels’ calendars. So the question remains why the need for “Fat Neck” especially when it wasn’t much of a song but rather Black Grape-by-numbers. In the label’s defence both singles ended up going Top 10 so maybe they knew what they were doing after all.

As Ian informs us in his next intro, it was the Eurovision Song Contest two days after this TOTP aired so it must be time for a plug for the UK entrant Gina G with “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit”. I’ve lost count the amount of times Gina has been on the show now but it’s a lot. She secured herself one further place in the running order* by going to No 1 in the charts the week following Eurovision despite finishing an underwhelming 8th on the big night.

*BBC4 didn’t show that particular TOTP denying us one last Gina performance of her most famous tune but we’ll go into that in further detail in the next post.

Quite why Gina’s undeniably catchy song failed to garner more votes remains unsolved. It was a Top 10 hit all round Europe including Norway where the contest took place. It was suggested that perhaps Gina wasn’t actually up to doing the live singing on the big night with her credentials for doing so seeming to rest on the fact that she was the songwriter’s then girlfriend rather than her vocal talents. I’m not sure if that’s correct or fair though as she had done some singing for an Australian dance group called Bass Culture in the early 90s with a single called “Love The Life” getting a legitimate commercial release. Whatever the reasons behind her lacklustre points total, it didn’t matter when it came to being a pop star as, in addition to bagging the first UK No 1 single to originate from Eurovision since Nicole’s “A Little Peace” in 1982, she would go on to achieve four further Top 40 hits including two Top Tenners. She was a bona fide pop star for a while and how many of us can say that?

I said in a previous post that one of Gina’s backing dancers reminded me of Samantha Janus though it wasn’t actually her. This time, I’m thinking she looks like another EastEnders actress but this time Kim Medcalf who played Sam Mitchell (the second version) on two separate occasions over a period of 20 years. Again, I’m fairly sure it’s not her in reality. These are hardly ‘doof doof’ revelations are they?

Surely with deliberate planning on behalf of the producers, we now have the rarely seen/heard “Ooh Aah” segue as we switch from Gina G to 1300 Drums featuring Unjustified Ancients of M.U. and their hit “Ooh! Aah! Cantona”. Yes, it’s another football song but still not that one! What’s going on here?! Anyway, I’m guessing that this track was released to cash in on the Cantona effect. Eric was possibly at the peak of both his powers and profile at this time having successfully resurrected his image following the ‘kung fu’ incident the previous year which led to a ban of eight months from playing football. As mentioned earlier, five days before this TOTP was broadcast, he’d scored the only goal of the FA Cup final to secure Manchester United the ‘double double’. He’d almost single-handedly hunted down a Newcastle United side that held a twelve points lead over United at one point. Within a year, he would be gone, retiring at the age of 30. Following his retirement, he had both the phrase “Ooh Aah Cantona” with which his adoring fans serenaded him and his name and number from his shirt (Cantona 7) patented as commercial trademarks. If that was to prevent further records by the likes of 1300 Drums being made without his approval, then I raise my collar to you sir for this hit was missing an ‘s’. It’s just a generic Italo House backing to what I always thought was a fairly moronic chant. What a bunch of chancers! The Unjustified Ancients of M.U. were nothing to do with The KLF’s Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond as far as I’m aware but just a pathetic play on words.

The performance here is bizarre but then I’m not sure what on earth any choreographer could have done with this. Presumably, the Can Can dancers are to reflect Eric being French but it’s all a bit tenuous. Then they wheel out the aforementioned Cantona lookalike who does pretty much nothing other than stand there with a cup which, by the way, looks about as much like the FA Cup as he did like Cantona. If he does look like a footballer at all it’s Chelsea legend Dan Petrescu who himself is a dead ringer for X Files star David Duchovny. There’s a couple of guys in Cantona masks which I’m guessing were modelled on his Spitting Image puppet. In 2009, said masks were used to superb effect in the Ken Loach film Looking For Eric which is a great watch if you get the chance. Cantona himself would, of course, embark on his own career in film after leaving football appearing in multiple movies (including the Loach one as himself) and only this morning I saw him on my TV as the face of the latest William Hill bookmakers advertisement. The world has not forgotten Cantona, and you can bet on that.

The TOTP producers have missed a trick with this next artist. Judging by the cutaway from Ian Wright’s intro, this is just a repeat of the studio performance from the other week of Smashing Pumpkins doing “Tonight, Tonight”.

So what you may ask? Well, they could have shown the promo film for the single which won six awards at the 1996 MTV Music Video Awards including Video of the Year. Stylistically based on the 1902 Georges Méliès silent film A Trip To The Moon, it featured primitive special effects, backdrops and puppets which made for a piece that was at turns both charming and disturbing. The plot concerns a male and female protagonist couple making a journey to the moon on a zeppelin. On arrival, they jump off the zeppelin to fall to their destination with their descent slowed by their umbrellas. Once on the moon, creepy looking hostile aliens take them prisoner before our heroes fight them off again with their multi purpose umbrellas. Escaping in a rocket, they then encounter a sea-god type who fortunately is friendly and puts on a show for their entertainment featuring mermaids and starfish before returning them to the surface in a bubble. Lovely stuff as Alan Partridge might say. Stylus Magazine put it at No 40 in their 2006 list of the top 100 music videos of all time. I think the video might have lived in the memory longer for the TOTP audience longer than the straight studio performance they’d already seen before .

Right, let’s have a little check in with how Ian Wright is doing as host. Well, he’s been competent I would say in not fluffing his lines and has kept his Tigger-ish over exuberance in check. However, he does seem overly intent on name checking his then Arsenal teammates. We had ‘Ooh Aah’ Ray Parlour during the Gina G link and now he manages to squeeze in Tony Adams for the next artist on account of the fact that it is his namesake Bryan Adams. Somewhat surprisingly, “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” was his first single released from a studio album since “Do I Have To Say The Words?” in July 1992. I say ‘somewhat surprisingly’ as it wasn’t as if Bry hadn’t been seen in our charts since then. Quite the opposite in fact. Look at this lot:

  • “Please Forgive Me” – No 2 – 1993 – to promote a Best Of album
  • “All For Love” (with Sting and Rod Stewart) – No 2 – 1994 – Three Musketeers soundtrack
  • “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” – No 4 – 1995 – Don Juan DeMarco soundtrack

On top of that, he appeared on TOTP alongside Bonnie Raitt for a performance of non-hit single “Rock Steady”. It was like he’d hardly been away and yet here he was back for more with the lead single from a new album called “18 Til I Die. I couldn’t be doing with any of those stop gap, turgid ballads listed above but “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” was more of a return to form. He was back with some bluesy rock swagger and a memorable hook in the chorus (that tiny bit of guitar that pre-empts the words “is you” makes it). Sure, the lyrics are a bit hackneyed and the title undeniably cheesy but, for me, this was his best hit in quite some time.

We’re into the home straight now as Wrighty gets to grips with the Top 10 countdown. He goes for a straightforward, factual, no gags presentation until he gets to No 5 when he can’t resist taking the piss out of poor old Chris Eubank’s lisp from a few weeks back by pronouncing it as “Thethilia and Thuggth”. Before introducing George Michael at No 1 for a third week with “Fastlove”, he’s back on the footballer name drop game when he mentions his mate Paul Ince aka ‘The Guv’nor’. It’s a clumsily constructed reference with it only being made it so he can call George the guv’nor of the music business but otherwise I think he’s done an OK job as host. I didn’t know this until now but Ince has a solid link to pop music and no, it’s nothing to do with him appearing on any Manchester United singles. He is the uncle of ex The Saturdays star and now TV presenter Rochelle Humes. Well I never!

As for George Michael, I’m kind of surprised that “Fastlove” stayed at top of the charts for three weeks given that we were entering the era of weekly straight-in-at-No1s but looking at the charts, the competition wasn’t that strong at the time with the Top 3 stagnating rather with two hits that had been around for ages in “Return Of The Mack” and “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit”. Eventually, “Fastlove” couldn’t resist the push given to Gina G following the Eurovision Song Contest which aired two days after this TOTP.

As Wright closes the show with a massive Afro wig on for some reason, Bryan Adams wonders into shot from out of the studio audience wearing a Chelsea shirt! What?! Our host asks Bryan the question I want to know the answer to – “Are you a Chelsea fan?”. It turns out that he is and has been since about 1985 which is when he came to live in London. How did I never know that the Groover from Vancouver supported my beloved Chelsea?! Clearly I can’t have watched this particular TOTP when it aired originally.

The play out video is “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette. Like the aforementioned singles by Mark Morrison and Gina G, this was another hit that was enjoying an elongated time on the charts. Seven weeks inside the Top 40 was quite the run and this second outing on TOTP was due to it going back up the charts from No 25 to No 23 having spent the previous three weeks descending them.

As with the Smashing Pumpkins video I mentioned earlier, the promo for this one also won big at the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards collecting three gongs but losing out to Billy Corgan and co in the Video of the Year and Best Direction in a Video categories. One of those three wins was for Best Editing and you can see why with the illusion of there being four different Alanis Morissettes travelling in a car all done without any special effects. The different versions of herself are colour coded (red, green and yellow sweaters) to display different aspects of her personality. According to Alanis, the driver in the red beanie hat is the responsible one in control, yellow sweater with the braids is the quirky one, red sweater is a romantic risk taker and green sweater is the fun one who gets into trouble. To be honest though, I can’t see much to distinguish them from each other as they all just seem to spend the entire journey laughing, shouting, singing and throwing their arms about. Ok, red sweater (the risk taker) climbs out of the window and is nearly taken out by a bridge and the (responsible) driver tries to stop her but that seems a to be the only demonstration of their dominant character traits. There is a final ‘irony’ at the video’s end when the car runs out of petrol despite the start of the promo showing Alanis driving away from a petrol station. We don’t actually witness her filling up the tank though so maybe she just bought the coffee in her hand potentially confirming that “Ironic” really is the song that can’t stop not being ironic. That’s a little ironic, don’t you think?

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1JXThere’s Nothing I Won’t DoNo
2Horace BrownOne For The MoneyNegative
3Liverpool FC & Boot Room Boyz Pass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)Never
4Black GrapeFat NeckNah
5Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitNah
61300 Drums featuring Unjustified Ancients of M.U. Ooh! Aah! CantonaAs if
7Smashing PumpkinsNever NeverNo but I probably should have
8Bryan AdamsThe Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is YouNope
9George MichaelFastloveI did not
10Alanis MorissetteIronicNo but I bought her album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0021s8x/top-of-the-pops-16051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 09 MAY 1996

There’s ten hits on this episode of TOTP but we’ve seen four of them before and one of the new ones is a football song (no, not that one; not yet). We’ve also seen the presenter before and not that long ago – it’s that Beertje Van Beers woman again. I’m not sure she was any more famous than she had been the first time she hosted the show a few weeks before (despite the exposure afforded her by that appearance) so why was she back again? Was it all about how she looked? In the era of Britpop and lads mags then I suppose that was a distinct possibility.

Beertje’s first job is to introduce one of those hits we’ve seen before – it’s Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One with “Cecilia”. The last time they were on led to an infamous incident when lisping boxer Chris Eubank had to contend with a bit of a tongue twister when doing the Top 10 countdown. As A-ha’s Morten Harket once sang on “I’ve Been Losing You”, he was hissing his ‘S’s’ like a snake. Poor Chris and poor the watching British public as this was a honking cover version. I’ve said this before but Suggs’s solo career has always been completely at odds to his Madness one for me. I like Madness and have even seen them live but Suggs on his own just doesn’t compute. For some reason in the mid 90s though, his awful Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel covers won the approval of UK record buyers giving him two Top 10 hits. Parent album “The Lone Ranger” achieved silver sales status and provided Suggs with a further three smaller chart hits but by the time of his second solo album “The Three Pyramids Club” (which sounds like the title of a Richard Osman novel), this brief infatuation was over and it sank without trace. Suggs never really returned to his solo career although he did have a hit with “Blue Day” in 1997 which was the FA Cup final song for my (and his) beloved Chelsea FC (more about cup final songs later). However, just last year, he teamed up with Paul Weller for the Slade-esque spelt single “Ooh Do U Fink U R”.

I’m always very cautious when it comes to commenting on rap artists purely because I don’t know enough about their music and its culture. I’m a white man who grew up in Worcester as a pop kid. If I tried to do any kind of analysis, it would be totally inauthentic. I guess I’m still allowed an opinion on what I’m watching and hearing on these TOTP repeats though right? I can’t just skip over a rap artist appearing on the show can I? The completist in me won’t let me just swerve this so here I go. I know the name Busta Rhymes – of course I do. I spent the 90s working in record shops. Could I name any of his tracks unprompted? Not a one. Would I recognise any if I were to check out his discography? Let’s see…

*checks Busta Rhymes discography*

Oh yeah. He did “Hit ‘Em High (The Monsters Anthem)” from the Space Jam soundtrack with B-Real, Coolio, LL Cool J and Method Man. And therein lies the problem. The only Busta Rhymes hit I know is from a movie about basketball starring Bugs Bunny. I don’t have any depth of knowledge nor relevance to the world of rap. OK, I’ll have to just go for the most superficial of reviews. “Woo-Hah!! Got You All In Check” was the debut single for Busta Rhymes and would peak at No 8 in both the US and the UK. I initially thought that the BBC censor was sleeping again to have let the lines “let’s get high” and “roll some weed” get through but then I checked led out the full, explicit lyrics. Dearie me! There’s no way any of that was getting through the BBC bad language filter. Mary Whitehouse would have self combusted.

Now this is an interesting link from Beertje even though she possibly only used it for its play on words. “In Holland we have three types of people; soccer players, cheeseheads and Klubbheads” she informs us. OK, so let’s break this down. Soccer players? Well, of course the Dutch have a rich history of producing fantastic footballers. One of my mates could talk for hours about Johan Cruyff and ‘total football’. Cheeseheads? I had to do some research on this I have to admit. It’s not a term to refer to enthusiasts of Dutch cheese though that would seem legitimate. No, apparently its usage dates back to the 19th century when Holland was occupied by Napoleon’s army and Dutch cheese producers got fed up with French soldiers stealing their beloved Gouda cheese. As a form of protection when confronting said soldiers, the Dutch wore helmets made out of cheese barrels hence ‘cheeseheads’. The term actually became an insult used by the French and Belgians when referring to Dutch people. Hmm. So by making sure she shoehorned in a play on words to introduce a Dutch dance act, Beertje actually insulted her own country? Oh well.

Said dance act are a team of Dutch dance producers with more than 40 aliases for their recordings including Hi_Tack, Da Klubb Kings and my personal favourite Drunkenmunky. For this their biggest hit “Klubbhopping” however, they went by the moniker of Klubbheads. I’m not going to lie, listening back to this is just making me feel nauseous, like somebody’s taken a club to my head. Klubbheads indeed.

Finally something approaching a decent tune. Having made it big with their last single “Slight Return”, The Bluetones weren’t about to rock the boat by messing with that hit formula and so they didn’t with its follow up “Cut Some Rug” which was certainly cut from the same cloth as its predecessor. Jangly guitars, a shuffling backbeat and some acerbic lyrics (“And all the time you remind me of blitzkreig and the doodle bug, salt upon a bubbling slug”) all allied with a hummable chorus. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it was the gameplan here alright.

Having gone off on a tangent earlier when discussing the origins of the phrase ‘Cheeseheads’, let’s continue that theme with an exploration into backstory of an expression that I’ve certainly used in this blog before- ‘cut some rug’. Apparently, it dates back to the 1930s and 40s when the ‘jitterbug’ dance was popular. Owing to its high energy moves, its protagonists would leave lots of marks on the dance floor that looked like cuts in a carpet or rug. I’m not sure that ‘The Bluetones shuffle’ as demonstrated by Beerjte in her intro would inflict such damage. By the way, I might make this cultural references thing an occasional series you know! Or maybe not.

One of those nearly one hit wonders now when an artist who is only known for one big hit single but whose discography shows that they actually had a further but minor chart entry. Yeah, one of them. The Tony Rich Project was, unsurprisingly, the project of one Tony Rich (real name Antonio Jeffries), a songwriter for LaFace Records who penned compositions for the likes of Toni Braxton, Boyz II Men and TLC. He made the leap into the sphere of artist in his own right with debut single “Nobody Knows”, a tender, soulful ballad that hit big both in the US and over here. Follow up single “Like A Woman” made it to No 27 in our charts then nothing. Well, not nothing as Tony continued to record and release new material well into the new century with his last album appearing in 2017 but he would never have any other major chart success. There is no truth in the rumour that Tony’s artist name inspired the title of 1999’s supernatural horror film phenomenon The Blair Witch Project. That particular movie’s name was influenced, of course, by British soft rockers The Alan Parsons Project.

“Let’s get rocked!” as the next band once sang. Def Leppard (for it is they) hadn’t released a studio album since 1992’s “Adrenalize” filling that gap with a greatest hit and B-sides collection. When the new album finally arrived, it wasn’t quite the Def Leppard of old. There were a few reasons why, not least that the band had seen which way the wind was blowing in the arena of rock music and had understood that post grunge, the sound that had served the so well in their late 80s pomp wasn’t going to cut it in the mid 90s. Added to that was the realisation that they’d been, as described by guitarist Vivian Campbell, living in a state of arrested development singing songs about putting out the trash and that they should write more mature songs that reflected their adult experience. And there was plenty of source material – founding member Steve Clark had died in 1991, guitarist Phil Collen had got divorced, bassist Rick Savage was battling facial paralysis condition Bell’s palsy and the death of his father whilst drummer Rick Allen and lead singer Joe Elliott had been arrested for spousal abuse and assault respectively. Given all that dark and heavy material, the album’s title track and lead single “Slang” seems remarkably jaunty. I can’t say that I’ve ever listened to the rest of the album but supposedly it does see the band operating outside of their comfort zone with more industrial and electronic sounds incorporated. It garnered mixed reviews ranging from a confused mess of an album to plaudits for trying to do something new. Back to the single though and it doesn’t really go anywhere for me and sounds like a poor man’s version of “Slam” by Dan Reed Network.

The one thing that did stand out for me was Joe Elliott’s super straightened new hairdo. It put me in mind of – and this is very niche – a particular style of grooming that some owners of the Maltese breed of dog go in for. We have a Maltese dog and we make sure he has a regular trim at the dog groomers but I’ve seen owners displaying their dogs at Crufts with the fur all grown out and straight as a curtain. Poodle rock indeed.

The next three hits we have seen before on the show starting with an ex-No 1! Yes, it’s that curious TOTP phenomenon of a record having gone down the charts and either going back up or putting the blocks on its descent to such an extent of being afforded a place on the show’s running order. We saw it in an earlier 1996 show when Oasis’s “Wonderwall” got a repeat airing when it re-entered the Top 5 having dropped out of the Top 10 a few weeks earlier. Now it’s the turn of Mark Morrison whose “Return Of The Mack” is still holding at No 2 despite having been on the charts for two months. The last time Beerjte was hosting, she introduced Morrison as that week’s No 1 and he celebrated by picking her up and carrying her off at the end of the song. Thankfully, she’s put enough physical distance between them this time to ensure that doesn’t happen again. In her intro, there’s a moment where she throws a look in the direction of Morrison on the stage behind her and I’m sure you can detect something in it that says “don’t think of trying it again mister”. I hope so anyway.

I would never describe Damon Albarn as a “Charmless Man” but by his own confession, this period of Blur’s career saw him potentially as a clueless one. If that sounds harsh, look at this from Damon himself:

See? I think I said in my last post when Blur were on the show performing this track in the ‘exclusive’ slot that it was a decidedly decent song and I stand by that though it’s clearly not one of their most high profile despite its chart peak of No 5. I’m sure Liam Gallagher would have dismissed it as “chimney sweep music” though. I’m not sure what drummer Dave Rowntree’s over sized drumsticks nor Graham Coxon’s shrunken guitar in this appearance were all about – presumably some band in joke. Graham’s ‘Freedom For Tooting!’ t-shirt was obviously a reference to the 70s sitcom Citizen Smith starring Robert Lindsay as hapless revolutionary Wolfie Smith. I recently listened to an interview with Lindsay and he recounted that the fame that the role brought him had its downsides including being harassed by both admiring women and jealous boyfriends on a night out and, in one extreme case, being blamed for an outbreak of football hooliganism when attending a match played by his hometown team of Ilkeston as the perpetrators had come dressed as Wolfie for the day. I’m pretty sure that Graham Coxon would never have done anything so charmless.

George Michael stays at No 1 with “Fastlove” for a second of three weeks. This track would prove to be his last hit in America, a territory that he dominated in his “Faith” era. That album provided George with six huge hit singles including four consecutive No 1s between ‘87 and ‘88. Quite phenomenal. Things started to tail off a bit with 1990’s “Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1” albeit that lead single “Praying For Time” did furnish another chart topper. By the time of the “Older” album nearly a decade after his late 80s pomp, although sizeable hits, “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove” would peak at Nos 7 and 8 respectively whereas both hit the top spot in the UK. This was very much a role reversal of those “Faith” chart positions – of those four American No 1s, in the UK the corresponding peaks were:

2 – 11 – 8 – 13.

Although his US numbers were down, George continued to stack ‘em high over here throughout the rest of the decade. These were the chart positions of his seven single releases after “Fastlove” until the end of ‘99:

2 – 3 – 2 – 10 – 2 – 2 – 4

There may have even been cultural differences in terms of chart compilation and release strategies that explains the contrasts highlighted above but I thought they were…well…worth highlighting.

We play out with another football song but, as I said at the top of the post, it’s still not that one. This TOTP aired two days before the 1996 FA Cup final between Liverpool and Manchester United and it tuned out to be a complete damp squib of a game that was decided by a solitary goal by Eric Cantona (himself the subject of yet another football song in the Top 40 that will feature on the following TOTP repeat). Already in the charts was the cup final song by United called “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” which would peak at No 6. Released a week later was this effort from their ultimately defeated opponents under the name of Liverpool FC & The Boot Room Boyz. Despite losing the cup final (cream suits and all), this pile of shite actually won the chart battle when it entered the chart at No 4. With a similar title to United’s hit – “Pass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)” – it also tried to capture the predominant dance sound of the time much as their rivals had. Both failed dismally. Liverpool should have just updated 1988’s “Anfield Rap” – now that was a football record with a groove.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One CeciliaNever
2Busta RhymesWoo-Hah!! Got You All In CheckNo
3KlubbheadsKlubbhoppingNot likely
4The BluetonesCut Some RugI did not
5The Tony Rich ProjectNobody KnowsNah
6Def LeppardSlangNegative
7Mark Morrison Return Of The MackNope
8BlurCharmless ManNo but I had their Great Escape album
9George MichaelFastloveAnother no
10Liverpool FC & The Boot Room BoyzPass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)As if

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 02 MAY 1996

When I write these reviews, I try and make reference to what else was going on at the time of the show’s broadcast either nationally, globally or indeed personally on occasion. Well, I’ve made a discovery on the last of those angles – I’ve found an old diary from 1996. I’d forgotten that I used to keep one from about 1991 to 1997. I can’t find the rest of them which were presumably lost in various house moves but the ‘96 one is intact. Now obviously I’m not going to reveal my inner most thoughts from back then but it might prove to be a gold mine for filling in some background details. So what was I doing on the day of this particular TOTP?

*refers to diary*

Ah excellent! It was my day off (I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport) so what did I do with it? I went into town to pay our council tax bill! The 27 year old me knew how to live back then! In my defence, I don’t think I paying bills by direct debit was commonplace in 1996 and though I was no poll tax rioter, I probably wanted some control over when I paid it on account of permanently being skint. Paying bills wasn’t the only thing I was doing though. In an unlikely push to better myself, I was doing two courses at this time. One was a First Aid class and the second was about 50s music. Get me! These days I struggle to read an online article in its entirety. I also note that on this day, Glenn Hoddle accepted the offer of becoming the next England manager and would be leaving my beloved Chelsea at the end of the season. I write this post the day after Gareth Southgate has just resigned as national team coach following England’s loss to Spain in the Euros 2024 final. Whilst it may have seemed as if the appointment had come a bit early in Hoddle’s career, he looked like Pep Guardiola compared to the current crop of names being lined up to replace Southgate. Graham Potter?! Do me a favour!

Now this is all very interesting (or not) but what about TOTP? What about the music? You’re right of course so let’s get to it and we start with “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” by Gina G. Despite having been on the show at least twice already, she’s back on tonight in another promotion push as the UK’s 1996 Eurovision entry with the contest just over two weeks away. Due to the multiple appearances, Gina and her backing dancers were step and word perfect by this point and I have to say it all hangs together pretty well. Gina seemed to be channeling her inner Kylie with her glittery micro dress and wide, perma-smile and why not? One of her dancers (the one in the pink dress) looks a bit like ex-EastEnders actress Samantha Janus who of course represented the UK at Eurovision in 1991. It isn’t her but she had me fooled for a while or perhaps I should say just a little bit.

In a recent TOTP repeat, we witnessed the sad spectacle of Miss Diana Ross making a fool of herself by covering Gloria Gaynor’s disco classic “I Will Survive” as she searched desperately for a hit to keep her relevant in the mid 90s. I said at the time of reviewing her performance that we would be seeing and hearing another cover of the track very shortly and that time is now. Chantay Savage (nothing to do with Robbie, Lily or Doc) however took the track in a completely different direction, slowing it down so much that it was reconstructed as an R’n’B ballad. Although it did little for me, I give her full marks for creativity. Sadly, such imagination was lacking when it came to naming her album which was called “I Will Survive” (Doin’ It My Way)” – a more literal title it’s hard to conceive. Chantay would never have another UK hit single in her own right though she did co-write “We Got A Love Thang” for CeCe Peniston in 1993 which went Top 10.

I should have said that tonight’s host is the very affable Michelle Gayle who is perhaps being slightly disingenuous when she says in her intro to The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad and their hit “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” that she doesn’t know if United will win the league and FA Cup double for the second time in three years. History records that the Red Devils did indeed do the ‘double double’ in 1996, a view that was obviously not available to Michelle seeing as those events were yet to happen but I’m pretty sure that they were red hot favourites to do so. Three days after this TOTP aired, Fergie took his team to Middlesbrough, easily won 3-0 and secured the Premier League title having successfully hunted down Newcastle United who led the table by 12 points in January, Kevin Keegan rants and all. Six days on from that, they were at Wembley for the FA Cup final against a Liverpool side who were no slouches but neither were they anywhere near the great teams of their 70s and 80s history. It would have been a shock (albeit a mild one) had the Scousers triumphed. As it turned out, the 1996 final was a terrible game with Eric Cantona’s late winner sparing us the misery of extra time. The fact that the final is best remembered for the Liverpool squad’s horrendous cream suits says everything.

Alex Ferguson’s United were in the middle of their 90s pomp but at least their dreadful cup final song for this season didn’t replicate the success of its 1994 counterpart “Come On You Reds” which inexplicably topped the charts. The good news is that unless they released one for the 1999 FA Cup final which formed part of their historic treble (I can’t recall if they did or not) this should be the last time I have to review any more of their singles. The bad news is that we haven’t seen the last of football related hits in 1996 by a long chalk.

Blimey! This next song is as dull as my diary! If I thought 3T’s last hit “Anything” was as drippy as the roofs of some of the stadiums at EURO 2024, I hadn’t reckoned on its follow up “24/7”. Jacko’s nephews have tried to inject a slightly more uptempo beat to it than its predecessor but it seems to just shine an even harsher light on how insipid a tune it is. The guy who dramatically flung his rucksack to the ground during performances of “Anything” (I’ve no idea which one he is out of Taj, Tyrell and TJ) seems to have lost his prop for this single – maybe the song wasn’t his bag (ahem).

I’m guessing that after being introduced by Chris Eubank the other week as “an absolute tottie’, Sleeper’s Louise Werner might have expected a less suggestive intro from a fellow female artist but Michelle Gayle can’t resist referring to her as “sexy” and lumping her in with similarly categorised pop star Louise (“she’s called Louise – aren’t they all?”). Louise and her band (now I’m at it, making it all about the female lead singer) are into the Top 10 for the first time with “Sale Of The Century” and to celebrate, she’s come in a top that is appropriately Britpop in style. In fact, what with that and her jumping and hopping stage moves, she’s coming across like a feminine version of Damon Albarn (more of whom later). At least she’s not just standing there statuesque (see what I did there?).

Louise would go on to be a successful author post Sleeper and before their reforming in 2017 writing both fiction and an account of her music career Just For One Day: Adventures In Britpop (also published as Different For Girls: My Truelife Adventures In Pop). The blurb for that autobiography includes the line “eating Twiglets backstage and enviously eyeing up Damon Albarn’s plate of foreign cheeses”. Don’t cheddar tear over him Louise! It’ll ruin your mascarpone. These cheese puns are starting to grate now aren’t they?

As is the case with Erasure, there’s a list of every Pet Shop Boys single in my memory banks from 1985 to the early 90s that I’m pretty sure I could recite in its entirety. However, as is also the case with Erasure, it all starts to go a bit hazy around the mid 90s when, despite working in record shops for the entire decade, I must have taken my eyes off what both duos were up to. “Before” is a case in point. This track is definitely not anywhere to be found in my ageing grey matter cells. It was, however, the lead single from sixth studio album “Bilingual” which was actually Chris and Neil’s first since 1993’s “Very”. However, there had been Pet Shop Boys releases in the meantime in the form of the collections “Disco 2” and “Alternative” which were a remix album and B-sides compilation respectively.

“Bilingual” didn’t appear until the start of September so “Before” preceded it by four months making it feel like a stand alone single which maybe explains why I don’t remember it. I do recall second single “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)” which came out a few weeks before the album which is presumably why I would have sworn that was its lead single. Why the early release date for “Before”? I’m not sure but Wikipedia tells me that in 1995, Neil and Chris ended their contract with the American arm of EMI and singled with Atlantic who launched a renewed marketing campaign to promote the duo in the US so maybe that had something to do with it? Or maybe they wanted to consolidate on the success they had achieved with their collaboration on “Hallo Spaceboy” with David Bowie in the February and didn’t want to leave a gap of six months until their next single? Either way, I’m not sure “Before” deserves all this retrospective attention and consideration as it’s a pretty weak track in my opinion. Sure it was a Top 10 hit but the Pet Shop Boys fan base would always guarantee that for a release of brand new material. It’s not terrible it’s just not that memorable. Listening to it now, I could imagine its chorus being sung by (the horror!) Take That on one of their 90s hits. Even the video is just full of special effects and computer graphics which seems to dominate all their promos around this time and which showed a lack of foresight as they have dated so much as to appear naff now if not…erm… before.

The last time The Cure were on the show performing “The 13th” I wasn’t especially complimentary about the song. I’m not the only person who has a downer on it. A regular reader of this blog commented that the whole album it was taken from – “Wild Mood Swings” – was such a disappointment when it came out and the fact that “The 13th” was one of the better tracks on it shows how poor it was. Online forums seemed to be split in their judgement on it. Some people rate it in their Top 10 songs by The Cure whilst others state (and I quote) “The 13th is justifiably shat on by most fans” and that “it sounds like something brought up from the sewer”. On reflection, have I been too harsh? Sure, it’s a bit out there and maybe not what we might have expected but look at their back catalogue. The Cure have always innovated and reinvented themselves. Look at the difference between “The Walk” and “The Lovecats” first example – two non-album singles that were released within four months of each other in 1983 but were years apart sonically it seemed to me. If only “The 13th” could have peaked at No 13 instead of its actual high of No 15, my musical itch would have been scratched.

If asked to come up with a song by the Smashing Pumpkins then “Tonight, Tonight” would be the only track I could name with total confidence. Nothing to do with the Genesis hit which almost shared the same title (theirs had an extra ‘Tonight’ in it), there’s a reason why this one has stood tall and proud in my music recollections – it’s magnificent. A sprawling epic masterpiece, it was recorded with a 30 piece string section courtesy of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. It’s one of those rare songs where the standout hook of the chorus is actually purely instrumental with no vocal, well for me it is anyway. Those swooping, descending strings allied to rousing guitars and a galloping drum riff – remarkable stuff. Somehow though it didn’t make me explore their material any further. Maybe I should do now that investigating an artist’s back catalogue is so much easier due to streaming platforms like Spotify. As for host Michelle Gayle’s claim that although it was the band’s first appearance on the show that she was sure it wouldn’t be the last, as far as I can tell, they never made it back to the TOTP studio despite having a further five UK Top 40 hits.

George Michael is straight in at No 1 with “Fastlove” just as he did with previous single “Jesus To A Child”. This was impressive stuff given it was all happening at the peak of Britpop and George’s chart toppers had been a melancholic ballad and then a funky, R&B workout. The successful streak continued when parent album “Older” was released eleven days after this TOTP aired and immediately went to No 1, going on to sell 1.8 million copies in the UK. It was quite a comeback given his last studio album had been six years earlier.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had consecutive No 1 singles. His first two solo hits “Careless Whisper” and “A Different Corner” both scaled the heights albeit two years apart and punctuated by a raft of Wham! releases. If you count his 1987 duet with Aretha Franklin “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” then it’s three on the bounce. Similarly, if you go back to George’s involvement in the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and his version of “Somebody To Love” on the “Five Live EP” in 1993, then there’s also a run of three No 1s including “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove”. However, despite a subsequent string of No 2 hits, the latter would prove to be his final UK chart topper.

Perhaps lazily, when talking about the Battle of Britpop in the Summer of 1995, the phrase ‘Blur won the battle but Oasis won the war’ is often trotted out. This translates as “Country House” beat “Roll With It” to No1 but in terms of albums, “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” sold loads more than “The Great Escape”. Whilst that is true with the former achieving sales equivalent to seventeen times platinum compared to the latter’s three times, Blur’s fourth studio album sometimes unfairly gets a bad rap. Yes, all the critical plaudits go to “Modern Life Is Rubbish” and “Parklife” for being musical milestones and I don’t disagree but if you apply a purely statistical analysis, “The Great Escape” is the only Blur album to furnish the band with four Top 10 hits including a No 1. 1997’s eponymous follow up album came close to matching that accomplishment but was let down by fourth single “M.O.R.” peaking at No 15. The fourth single from “The Great Escape” was “Charmless Man” which is a decidedly decent song that doesn’t have the profile it maybe deserves with TOTP not contributing to it by only showing 30 seconds of its video over the closing credits. Said video features the actor Jean-Marc Barr as the titular protagonist who would be one of the actors regularly employed by the controversial film director Lars Von Triers in his movies. In this very year of 1996, the first of his Golden Heart Trilogy of movies was released. Breaking The Waves though, is one of the most miserable films I have ever seen – truly charmless.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitI did not
2Chantay SavageI Will SurviveNo
3The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never!
43T24/7I’ll give you one guess…
5SleeperSale Of The CenturyNope
6Pet Shop BoysBeforeNegative
7The CureThe 13thNah
8Smashing PumpkinsTonight, TonightApparently not but I really should have
9George MichaelFastloveIt’s another no
10BlurCharmless ManNo but I had The Great Escape album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020sr3/top-of-the-pops-02051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 25 APR 1996

We have arrived at one of the most infamous episodes of TOTP certainly of the 90s, maybe ever. It’s that show with Chris Eubank. Why was he presenting the nation’s favourite music programme? Well, he’d retired from boxing in the September of 1995 having failed to regain his super-middleweight title from Steve Collins. However, he would return to the fight game later in 1996. For now though, he was seen by executive producer Ric Blaxill as a suitable choice for the ‘golden mic’ slot. As far as I can tell he was one of only three sporting celebrities to host TOTP with the others being footballer Ian Wright and jockey Frankie Dettori. All three you could argue have a personality that transcended their sporting fame – Wright is exuberant and Tigger-ish, Dettori is cheeky and likeable and Eubank…well, he’s eccentric if not downright odd. I’m actually quite intrigued to see what he says in his links to camera. Ding! Ding! Round one!

Eubank starts by introducing himself (as if he needed to) by giving us his full nomenclature including his middle name Livingstone. It’s pretty impressive as middle names go but nobody will ever top ex-footballer Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey. He then says something about the forthcoming “goodies” on the show and that he’s feeling “effervescent”. It’s a nervous, stumbling start – he needs to get a few punchy lines in to settle him down. The act he introduces are Babylon Zoo and their second hit of the year “Animal Army”. I said of this song when the video was shown the other week that it had traces of both Oasis and the Stone Roses about it and listening to it again here, I’m even more convinced of that assertion. Try closing your eyes and just listening to this performance – see what I mean? Anyway, Jas Mann has grown a spattering of facial hair and is wielding a guitar for this performance which we never saw during the “Spaceman” weeks. I presume he was trying to establish some musicianship credentials on the hunt for credibility points but I’m not sure he really wins that fight. Following what would turn out to be the third biggest selling single of the year in the UK was always going to be a bout too far but its peak of No 17 was probably a little on the harsh side on reflection. Babylon Zoo would stagger on for one final round before being KO’d when third single “The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes” peaked at No 32.

Eubank looks like he’s on the ropes already, appearing dazed and confused and uttering barely remembered lines instructing us to “enjoy the show”. He needs to rally and quickly. Whilst he takes a break between rounds and gets some encouragement from his corner man, we get a performance of the latest dance hit to cross over from the clubs to the charts. “Keep On Jumpin’” was originally recorded by US disco act Musique in 1978 but didn’t trouble our charts until it was revived by The Lisa Marie Experience who took a version of it to No 7 in the UK Top 40 and to the top of our Dance Chart. Despite their name, this lot were actually two male house DJs Neil Hinde and Dean Marriott (aka D. Ramirez). They would go on to remix tracks for the likes of Sash, Eternal, Robin S and Inner City. “(Keep On) Jumpin’” (no brackets, no points) would be their only chart hit as The Lisa Marie Experience though. I’m assuming that their name was inspired by Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis and Priscilla, who, at this time, was in the process of divorcing perhaps the most famous person on the planet Michael Jackson. I’m guessing they were hoping to trade subliminally on the news headlines that the couple would have been generating? Is that a known marketing strategy?

As for their hit, they couldn’t get clearance to use a sample of the original track so had to record their own version of the chorus which they do pretty faithfully with convincing disco strings to the fore. Having not been a UK hit in the 70s, the song found itself in the Top 10 twice in the space of a few weeks in 1996 when a much more housed-up version by Todd Terry featuring Martha Wash and Jocelyn Brown peaked at No 8.

Eubank throws a cryptic curveball with his next link, setting the mathematicians in the watching audience a brain teaser – “how long does it take a lady to make that step?”. What was he on about? I can only assume he was referring to the first video of the night for “The Box” by Orbital. In it, actor Tilda Swinton plays an alien-like character who observes Earth and its inhabitants in stop-motion giving the impression that she is operating outside of temporal constructs before disappearing whence she came. It’s all very The Man Who Fell To Earth which apparently was the inspiration for the promo according to its co-director Jes Benstock. Was its stop-motion effect what Eubank was being obscure about in his intro? Another question I have is how famous was Tilda Swinton at this point? I’m thinking not that well known beyond the art house crowd as most of her credits up to this point were for a clutch of Derek Jarman films. This was well before her roles in The Beach, Vanilla Sky and The Chronicles Of Narnia franchise. If my guess is true, then her smaller profile would only have added to her portrayal of the mysterious protagonist of the video.

As for the track itself, “The Box” would become one of Orbital’s bigger hits peaking at No 11. It sounds like the soundtrack to a 60s spy thriller but with a few dance beats thrown in. Maybe the duo of brothers Phil and Paul Hartnoll were in training with their eye on the prize of an actual film soundtrack which they achieved the following year with their reworking of the theme to the 1997 remake of The Saint which gave them their second consecutive No 3 hit following the rather disturbing “Satan Live”. In 2000, they would continue with the soundtrack work when they contributed a track (with Angelo Badalamenti) to the aforementioned The Beach movie.

Eubank’s landing some blows now (or at least he thinks he is) with some more enigmatic words. This time, he says “We live in a country where the minds of the people are manipulated by the press. Think about it”. I mean, he’s not wrong and nearly 30 years later that is still the case but why was he prompted to say that at this time? Was he having a particularly bad time with the tabloids? In his early pugilist career, he hadn’t enjoyed a good relationship with the press who depicted him as arrogant and with ideas above his station with his flamboyant sartorial style and posturing or as his Wikipedia entry puts it ‘the man you love to hate’. After he’d lost his boxing title and was supposedly retired from the fight game, would he have still attracted so much attention? I guess by presenting TOTP he was hardly shying away from the public counting his money in his expensive mansion was he?

Definitely on the covers of the music press would have been Ash who were onto their third (and ultimately biggest) hit in “Goldfinger”. I guess this would have been a breakthrough moment for the band – their first time inside the Top 10 and it came with a single that was released a good six months after their last hit. Momentum could easily have been lost. “Goldfinger” not only consolidated that previous success but went beyond it. To do that, the band had to come up with a bloody good tune and they did that. I used my words carefully there – it’s a good tune but not a great one to my ears in the respect that I think they’ve got better songs. Still better than most of the garbage in the charts though. Watching this performance back, I’m struck by how much Tim Wheeler looks like Vernon Kay? Odd(job).

Eubank is finding his feet now and getting a combination together. He’s not stumbling over his words so much and is addressing the audience in a more direct way informing us that he’s got something next to get us “absolutely freaking” before describing it as a modern day version of “Knees Up Mother Brown”. Who can he be talking about? It’s Technohead of course and their latest hit “Happy Birthday”. Yes, the people who brought us “I Wanna Be A Hippy” thought we could do with another dose of their dumbo brand of high speed, happy hardcore nonsense and duly delivered unto us a second hit. It’s a carbon copy of its infuriating predecessor but that didn’t stop UK punters from buying it in enough numbers to send it to No 18 – just bonkers. That’s also the word I would use for this performance which is a riot of idiots jumping around maniacally for the duration of the ‘song’. And what was the recreation of the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party all about? Ever wondered why the hatter was mad? Well, apparently it was an actual condition arising from the use of mercury in the Victorian era to cure pelts in the hat making process. When the mercury got into the systems of the hat makers, it gave rise to mental health problems including dementia hence the phrase. In terms of Lewis Carroll’s character in Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, some analysis suggests he was written this way to highlight some of the most irritating and unpleasant traits of human nature. ‘Irritating’ and ‘unpleasant’? Well, that explains it then as “Happy Birthday” by Technohead was nothing if not irritating and unpleasant.

P.S. The Emily who Eubank says happy birthday to in his intro is presumably his daughter Emily whose 2nd birthday it had been six days before this TOTP aired.

Oh dear. Eubank makes a misstep in his next intro although in 1996, I’m not sure his choice of words would necessarily have tripped him up. Would we have winced at him describing Louise Werner of Sleeper as “an absolute tottie” back then? I like to think I would have but I can’t be sure. Also, would Eubank’s Nicholas Parsons reference have hit home with the TV audience in 1996? The game show that Parsons presented that shared its name with Sleeper’s single ran from 1971 to 1983 so had been off our screens for 13 years by this point. I think that particular punch line might have failed to hit its intended target.

Just like Ash earlier, Sleeper were at a pivotal moment in their career with the release of their first Top 10 single “Sale Of The Century”. Also just like Ash, it came six months after their last hit so it was an important moment momentum wise. In terms of the song itself, it was arguably just more of the same Sleeper sound that previous hits “Inbetweener” and “What Do I Did Now?” had established. That shouldn’t be seen as a criticism though. They had a successful formula and were giving the people what they wanted. What’s that? Couldn’t the same argument be applied to Technohead? Erm…no. Why not? Well…I didn’t like them did I? That’s fair enough isn’t it? I think it is. Interestingly, Louise Werner doesn’t have her guitar with her for this performance and she seems a bit lost without it. Not knowing quite what to do with herself, she resorts to a few skip and jump movements. She should have floated around the stage Muhammad Ali style, throwing a few jabs, ducking and weaving. I’m sure Chris Eubank would have been even more enamoured with her than he already was.

It’s round seven and Eubank rallies with an intro that sits well with the esoteric, faux-existential quotes he specialises in. It also shows that he knew something of the band he was introducing. “Now here’s a group to make you philosophise and think” he pronounces before the Manic Street Preachers fill our screens. There’s no doubting that the Welsh rockers have a canon of work that displays a certain intellectual rigour with their influences ranging from Nietzsche to Camus to Chomsky and much wider. Was it possible that Eubank was a Manics fan or just that he’d done his research? Whatever Eubank’s truth, the band were telling us that theirs was that they were definitely still a going concern despite the disappearance of Richey Edwards via the success of “A Design For Life”. Ironically, the song’s best known lyric – “We don’t talk about love, we only wanna get drunk” – in which the band highlight the working class’s right to do so, would be sung back to them by crowds of middle class festival goers. Think about that as Chris Eubank might have said.

OK, we nearly at the KO moment for Eubank. The moment when Chris is dealt a blow he can’t recover from. When the BBC4 audience, with our prior knowledge of what’s coming, look on with a building sense of schadenfreude until suddenly it’s here…and Chris Eubank has to introduce Suggs singing “Cecilia”. Why was this a big deal? Because of our host’s lisp of course – it’s not a great look is it? Taking the piss out of a speech impediment. Six years on from this, Gareth Gates would win the hearts of the public on Pop Idol with his singing and looks but also because of his determination to not let his stammer prove too big an obstacle in his pursuit of becoming a pop star and recording artist. I guess Eubank’s perceived arrogance and eccentric demeanour meant he was never going to be afforded the same reaction.

His intro for the actual performance by Suggs and Louchie Lou and Michie One of “Cecilia” has him on the ropes but the knockout blow comes during the Top 10 countdown when he has to say “At six, Cecilia by Suggs”. That moment was used in an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks in the a round called Freeze Frame which was basically a What Happened Next? section…

Go to 3:40 in for the “At thickth, Thethilia by Thughth” moment

Mark Morrison is still in pole position at the top of the charts and he’s still got his rather creepy handcuffs with him. The recurrent line “you lied to me” combined with Morrison’s style of delivery has made me ponder that “Return Of The Mack” is what you get if you combined “Ain’t No Doubt” by Jimmy Nail (“she’s lying”) with “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy. What a thought!

After the Suggs KO, the defeated Chrissy boy gives a reflective speech about being true to yourself before signing off with a cheery “Good bloody show”. To paraphrase Chumbawamba, you can knock Eubank down but he’ll always get up again. The play out song is something of an oddity called “That’s Nice” by Minty. If you don’t remember it (as I don’t), it’s probably because it never charted as far as I can tell. Yes, it’s another of those left field Ric Blaxill choices where he championed a track that would not actually become a Top 40 hit.

Minty was a vehicle for Australian performance artist, club promoter, fashion designer and friend of Boy George, Leigh Bowery. Wikipedia tell me that Minty were part of the Romo movement which I’d never heard of but which was short for Romantic Modernism and was characterised by a hotchpotch of musical genres including disco, glam rock and the New Romantics with its base camp being the club night Club Skinny in Camden. This track was a posthumous release as Bowery died from an AIDS related illness on New Year’s Eve 1994 though the project continued under the leadership of his long term female partner Nicola Bateman. I’m guessing now but was Leigh Bowery the inspiration for the character of Vulva from Spaced?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Babylon ZooAnimal ArmyNot for me but for a friend. Honest!
2The Lisa Marie Experience(Keep On) Jumpin’No
3OrbitalThe BoxNot for me thanks
4AshGoldfingerNo but I have it on their Intergalactic Sonic 7″s compilation album
5TechnoheadHappy BirthdayAs if
6
Sleeper
Sale Of The CenturyLiked it, didn’t buy it
7Manic Street PreachersA Design For LifeNo but I had the Everything Must Go album
8Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One CeciliaNah
9Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNope
10MintyThat’s NiceAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020ldh/top-of-the-pops-25041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 18 APR 1996

Who the heck is / was Beertje Van Beers? Why? Because she’s hosting this TOTP and I, for one, haven’t a clue as to why. Hang on, she’s not the singer with Technohead of “I Wanna Be A Hippy” fame is she?

*checks internet*

No, I don’t think so. I’ll have to do some more research.

*checks internet again*

Well, it seems I wasn’t the only person confused but inevitably someone had the answer…

Right so basically she was Bis in presenter form? Anyway, the first artist tonight are The Wildhearts who were a favourite of TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill according to the tweet above which seems to accuse him of employing some favouritism when it came to the running order. Is that fair? Well, let’s look at the evidence. The Wildhearts were no strangers to the charts having had five UK Top 40 hits to this point though only one had made it into the Top 20. This single – “Sick Of Drugs” – would become their biggest when it peaked at No 14 so they were on an upwards trajectory which would add weight to the claim that a place on TOTP was justified. The counter argument would be that those chart positions were inflated by the band being shoe horned onto the show and benefiting from the exposure. Where lies the truth? I think I’ll leave (literally) the final word on this to the band’s lead singer Ginger who says at the end of the performance “If you wanna hear the rest of the song go and buy the single”. The full track clocks in at 4:43 in length but this TOTP performance is about 2:30 long. I think Ginger’s frustration at being cut short suggests the band were not in receipt of preferential treatment from Ric Blaxill.

Now to another artist who wasn’t revelling in huge hit singles. However, she was positively ripping it up when it came to albums sales. Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” had been in UK charts since August of 1995. However, it didn’t make it into the Top 10 until January of the following year. That slow burn was possibly due to the fact that it hadn’t furnished any massive hits with the three singles taken from it up to that point having peaked at Nos 22, 24 and 26. Respectable but not the kind of numbers to propel an album into the stratosphere. However, playing the long game would prove to be a much more successful strategy ultimately. Word of mouth promotion and an organic growth of the album would see it spend 41 consecutive weeks inside the Top 10 once it had got there with 11 of them at No 1. This was quite the phenomenon. Compare that to say Babylon Zoo’s album which crashed into the chart at No 6 off the back of the enormous “Spaceman” single but which was out of the Top 40 within a month, never to be seen again. With sales of “Jagged Little Pill” showing no signs of tailing off, a fourth single was released from it and this one would not only be the second highest charting of the six ultimately take from it but also the most infamous of them.

“Ironic” is a great tune based around a simple yet effective narrative but unfortunately for Alanis, her choice of title for the song didn’t match what she was singing about. Much cultural analysis has gone into dissecting the lyrics of “Ironic” and pointing out that the scenarios depicted in the song are not examples of irony but rather just bad luck. Such criticism opened the song up to parody, the king of which, “Weird Al” Yankovic, was always going to join in the pile on which he duly did with his song “Word Crimes”. Perhaps the most famous take down of it though came courtesy of Irish comedian Ed Byrne:

Ed made a career for himself out of that skit! Had we all noticed the irony of a lack of irony in a song about irony back in 1996 though? If we did, I don’t remember it. That Ed Byrne clip came from a Channel 4 show broadcast in 1999. In fairness to Alanis, she took it all on the chin and even extracted the piss out of herself in this updated performance of the song on The Late Late Show With James Corden in 2015:

Time to check in on how Bertje Van Beers doing as host? Well, she’s enthusiastic, I’ll give her that. Perhaps ever so slightly the wrong side of annoying? Maybe. Her next link is for a live by satellite performance by Presidents Of The United States Of America and their biggest hit “Peaches”. This is a great left field song which, like “Ironic” before it, created a bit of discussion about its lyrics. Unlike “Ironic”, said discussion was of a much baser nature. Now I just thought this was a quirky song about a guy who liked to eat peaches. However, there is a school of thought that it’s actually about eating something altogether different. I’ll say no more than that.

Lead singer Chris Ballew though says it was inspired by overhearing a homeless man walk past him muttering “I’m moving to the country, I’m gonna eat a lot of peaches” over and over. Apparently that line could have been inspired by a song by John Prine called “Spanish Pipedream”…

Blow up your TV, throw away your paper

Go to the country, build you a home

Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches

Try an’ find Jesus on your own

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jeffrey Bradford Kent / John Prine
Spanish Pipedream lyrics © Walden Music, Inc.

So there’s that but there’s also a second part to the inspiration for the song also from Ballew who recounts going to the house of a girl he fancied whilst under the influence of recreational drugs, finding her not at home and so waiting for her sat under a peach tree, having an hallucinogenic experience whilst crushing fallen peaches in his hands. I think I’ll choose to go with Ballew’s story as to what the song’s about. Not everyone agrees though. Here’s Captain D from Cincinnati on the Songfacts.com website:

I’m a pervert so I thought it was sexual too

Well, I guess the Captain is honest at least. The Presidents Of The USA would have two more UK hits before disbanding in 1997. “Peaches” remains their signature hit though. Such was its renown that it even permeated our culture to the point that the character of Hank from King Of The Hill knew it:

Everything But The Girl have finally moved on from “Missing” after it stayed in the charts for six months but they weren’t leaving their new direction behind them. “Walking Wounded” (both the single and album) saw the duo continue to embrace dance beats and in particular those of a drum and bass variety that were ripping up the nation’s dance floors and starting to enter the mainstream. Whilst their repositioning of themselves as a dance act no doubt won them some new admirers, I wasn’t one of them. I’d grown up with the Ben and Tracey era of “Each And Everyone” and the wonderful “Baby, The Stars Shine Bright” album, not this electronica, trip-hop material. I just couldn’t get into it. Sure, I could appreciate “Missing” for its musicality that could see it be effective as both an acoustic ballad and dance anthem but did I want to hear an Everything But The Girl album that went further than that? No thanks. The record buying public disagreed with me of course sending the album to No 4 and a platinum certification selling three times as many copies as predecessor “Amplified Heart”. However, it could be argued that this new direction only brought short term gains. Follow up album “Temperamental” continued the dance experiment but received a lukewarm reception and sales. Appearing in 1999, it would be the last Everything But The Girl album for nearly a quarter of a decade with the band’s output becoming mired in a haze of Best Of compilations and collections. Their legacy deserved better.

After a terrible decade so far in terms of his legal battle with Sony over the fairness of his recording contract, 1996 was turning out to be a splendid year for George Michael. Sure, he’d had two No 1s (a duet with Elton John and his version of “Somebody To Love” from The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert) but he lost that litigation with the court wholly rejecting his claims of restraint of trade. However, when Sony sold his contract to Virgin in 1995, he was able to resume his career and he did so in some style. “Jesus To A Child” gave him his first truly solo UK No 1 since 1986’s “A Different Corner” and he followed it with a second chart topper in “Fastlove”. Based around an interpolation of Patrice Rushen’s 1982 hit “Forget Me Nots”, it was a stark contrast from the haunting balladry of its predecessor, a funk-based number celebrating one night stands over committed relationships. The track had a very sophisticated, highly polished production sound to it with the saxophone part played by Andy Hamilton who was responsible for the memorable saxophone break in Duran Duran’s “Rio”. Somehow, the BBC censors missed George singing the line “all that bullshit conversation” at the start of the song.

The B-side was a funked up but slowed down version of “I’m Your Man” showing that George hadn’t totally turned his back on his rich pop past. Although it’s hard to beat the effervescence of the Wham! original, the ‘96 remake is definitely worth a listen:

The song’s futuristic video gave George the opportunity to have a dig at Sony re: the aforementioned court case with one of the promo’s dancers wearing a set of headphones displaying the word ‘FONY’ in the style of the Sony corporate logo. That didn’t stop it from being nominated for three MTV Music Video Awards winning the one for International Viewer’ Choice. Watching it back now, it seems to draw inspiration from the film Logan’s Run, in particular the scene where Logan meets Jessica on ‘the circuit’, the tinder of 2274:

As with a few artists, I kind of lost touch with The Cranberries after a while. I’d enjoyed their early hits and had been to see them live in October of 1994 I think but by 1996, they’d definitely slipped off my radar. “Salvation” was the lead single from their third album “To The Faithful Departed” and was definitely more in the vein of “Zombie” than “Linger”. It would become their joint biggest hit when it peaked at No 13 which seems an awfully low bar for a band that turned out a few cracking hits. I guess they were more of an albums band?

Featuring Dolores O’Riordan stomping all over the track with a strident vocal and almost shouted chorus, “Salvation” was seen as an anti-drug song though Dolores herself described it more as anti anything that took control of you. Sadly for her, she was unable to live by the lyrics of her song and was found dead in 2018 in a hotel room in Mayfair, London with the inquest ruling that she had died by accidental drowning following sedation by alcoholic intoxication.

Here’s something unusual – a controversial Michael Jackson single. I jest of course. Jacko’s whole life (and death) was surrounded by controversy. However, “They Don’t Care About Us” was certainly up there for generating a storm of headlines. The fourth single taken from the “HIStory: Past, Present And Future, Book 1” album, it attracted unwanted (by Jackson) attention both for its lyrics and video. The former were accused of being anti-Semitic with its use of the phrases “Jew me” and “Kike me” which Jackson strenuously denied and, indeed, agreed to re-record the track for subsequent copies of the album with the offending phrases replaced with “sue me” and “strike me”. In the end though, they were just covered up with some abstract noises – you can hear said sounds in the video shown on this TOTP.

The video was filmed in a favela or ghetto in Rio de Janeiro and caused concern for their Secretary of State for Industry, Commerce and Tourism who was worried showing the poverty in the area would adversely affect tourism and Rio’s bid to host the 2004 Olympics. A judge banned the filming of the video but a counter injunction saw it go ahead. Some supported Jackson’s claim of highlighting the poverty in the area whilst others criticised his production team for negotiating with local drug dealers for permission to film in the favela. It’s interesting to note that we only get about 2:20 of the video shown here where in the past TOTP have devoted huge sections of their half hour to showcasing a Jacko exclusive. Could they have been put off by the negative press? As for the song itself, its samba beat and chant like chorus actually make it stand out for me within Jackson’s catalogue – was the “hooo-aaargh” shout halfway through the song and attempted by Beerjte Van Beers in her intro the impetus for Leigh Francis to choose Jackson for one of his outlandish BoSelecta! characters?

The caption accompanying this performance by The Cure says that they haven’t been on TOTP since April 1990. That can’t be right can it? They’d had five Top 40 hits since then. Didn’t any of those justify an appearance on the show? Anyway, “The 13th” was the lead single from the “Wild Mood Swings” album and well, I’m sorry but it’s awful. The Cure do Mariachi? No thanks.

The album was not well received by fans or the music press and it was the band’s poorest selling for 12 years. Even Robert Smith himself has said that he was disappointed with it – maybe he should have taken more heed of the lyric he sang in “The 13th” of “I just know this is a big mistake”. I recall that we didn’t sell many at all in the Our Price where I was working at the time. Though they would never regain their commercial edge, the band are still together and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2019 which gave us this marvellous Robert Smith moment…

Mark Morrison has completed his slow slither up to the No 1 position with “Return Of The Mack”. It’s taken six weeks to get there which was an eternity in 1996 when we were used to singles debuting in the top spot in week one. True to his dubious character, he sidles up to Beertje Van Beers at the end of his performance and drags her away with him as the credits roll. Maybe this was cooked up between the pair of them pre-show but even if it was, it looks terrible especially through 2024 eyes.

For the first time in a while, we have a play out video of a current chart hit rather than a clip from the archives to promote TOTP2. In this case, we get a football song but not that one. Yes, in 1996 if your single about the beautiful game wasn’t called “Three Lions” then it was destined to be forgotten. Who remembers “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” by The 1996 Manchester United FA Cup Squad? Well, you might if you’re a United fan I guess but when it’s not as memorable as the odious “Come On You Reds” from 1994, then you know the game is up. For the record, it was a horrible Reel 2 Real facsimile which is never a good thing.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The WildheartsSick Of DrugsNegative
2Alanis MorissetteIronicNo but I had the Jagged Little Pill album
3Presidents Of The United States Of AmericaPeachesNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations
4Everything But The GirlWalking WoundedDidn’t happen
5George MichaelFastloveNope
6The CranberriesSalvationIt’s a no from me
7Michael JacksonThey Don’t Care About UsI did not
8The CureThe 13thNah
9Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNo
10The 1996 Manchester United FA Cup SquadMove Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020crt/top-of-the-pops-18041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 11 APR 1996

I’ve reached another blogging milestone – this is my 600th post over my 80s and 90s TOTP sites combined. Thank you to anyone and everyone who has ever taken the trouble to read any of them. 600 eh? Phew! When I started back in 2017 with the 1983 BBC4 repeats, I didn’t have any such goal in mind. In fact, I wasn’t sure I would even make it to the 1984 repeats but make it I did and seven (actual) years later, I’m still at it but with an end in sight as I won’t go past the year 2000 (as Busted almost sang). The 600th episode of TOTP was on 9th October 1975 but I was only seven then so don’t remember it at all. For the record though, it featured The Sparks, Bob Marley and David Essex at No 1. As for other 600th episodes, that landmark was reached in EastEnders on 6th November 1990 by which point I’d only just got married and moved to Manchester two weeks before so watching the latest escapades of Phil and Grant Mitchell probably wasn’t high on my list of things to do. The 600th episode of Coronation Street was broadcast on 12th September 1966 two years before I was born. Let’s see if any of the artists and hits in my own 600th anniversary are worth celebrating…

Well, if it’s a celebration we’re having then I guess we should start with a party tune and “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” by Gina G is definitely that. This is her third consecutive week on the show and in the studio so the BBC couldn’t be accused of not getting behind our Eurovision entry this year. Now, in the last post I mentioned that I had a Gina G story. It’s time for it to be told. Around this time, Ricky Ross, having broken up Deacon Blue, was launching his solo album “What You Are” and the Sony rep who used to sell into the Our Price I was working in got all the staff on the guest list for an album launch party at a bar in Manchester. There was a free bar at the party and many, many drinks were consumed. I actually had a five minute chat with Ricky who was a nice bloke.

What’s this got to do with Gina G? Well, I also got talking to some guys who said they were the people behind “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” but that they weren’t getting any royalties from it and were taking legal action or something. That’s about all I can remember (it was a free bar after all!) but searching online nearly thirty years later to see if there was anything in what they told me, I found that there was loads of legal action surrounding the song. Gina G reckoned she was owed over £136,000 for her part in its success while another case was launched by one Simon Taube who wrote the song and it was recorded by Gina with two producers called Wainwright and Burton who went under the alias of The Next Room. Enter one Stephen Rodway to the story as the new producer for the track who went under the professional name of Motiv-8. A deal was signed between Taube and Rodway giving the latter 30% of any royalty payments. However, said royalties were all collected by Rodway’s production company FX leading to Taube and the original producers suing FX for £408,000. Were those guys at that album launch that I spoke to Taube, Wainwright and Burton? Did they ever receive all of what they thought they were owed? Or even just a little bit?

How long has this been going on Paul? Seven years and 600 posts mate! Keep up! Seriously though, I love Paul Carrack’s voice and he’s written some pop classics but I’m not sure why one of them was back in the charts in 1996. “How Long” was originally a No 20 hit for his band Ace in 1975 but apparently it was reactivated 21 years later for Paul’s solo album “Blue Views” and reissued to promote it. It would peak at No 32 one place below the cover of it by the Yazz/Aswad collaboration from 1993. For such a timeless track, those chart peaks seem slightly underwhelming but justice arrived in 2020 when, 45 years after its original release, its use in an advertisement for Amazon Prime prompted 4,000 downloads, 831,000 streams and the No 1 spot in the Billboard Rock Digital Song Sales chart.

Although widely perceived to be a song about infidelity between a couple, it was actually written by Carrack when he found out that Ace bassist Terry ‘Tex’ Comer had been secretly working with Scottish folk-rock duo The Sutherland Brothers. By strange coincidence, also released the same year was “Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)” by Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel which was another song about band disharmony. When members of the original Cockney Rebel approached Harley about their desire to write songs for the band, he refused and the band split with Harley forming a new group. Hitting the top spot with their first release under their new moniker, the song was a jibe at the original Cockney Rebel members who Harley believed had done him dirty by trying to change a winning formula.

Just like “How Long”, “Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)” has been covered by many artists including Duran Duran, Erasure and The Wedding Present whose performance of it here includes David Gedge looking exactly like me 35 years ago – or is it me looking like Gedge?

I’ve never been much of a rap /hip-hop fan but I know a good tune when I hear one and “California Love” by 2Pac featuring Dr.Dre and Roger Troutman is a good tune. His first release since being…well…released from prison in 1995, it features amongst others a sample from “Woman To Woman” by Joe Cocker (not Jarvis’s Dad) and would top the US charts while making it to No 6 in ours. Its hook though is surely the ‘golden throat’ vocal in the chorus courtesy of Roger Troutman who sounds like a character from Viz but was actually a singer, songwriter, producer and all round pioneer of the funk movement. The aforementioned ‘golden throat’ sounds like a porn film title but was actually a custom made ‘talk box’ / vocoder supplied by electronics firm Electro Harmonix which he also used to contribute vocals to the Scritti Politti single “Boom! There She Was” in 1988. Then there’s the legendary Dr. Dre’s involvement which supposedly led to the falling out between himself and 2Pac. The latter, of course, would be dead within six months, murdered as part of the East Coast-West Coast hip-hop rivalry (unless you believe the conspiracy theories that he faked his own death). Rumours circulated that former friend turned rival Notorious B.I.G. was involved in 2Pac’s murder but then he was killed himself in 1997 in another Las Vegas drive by shooting. All of these artists would become a source of exasperation to me whilst working in Our Price as their albums would attract the white, middle class gangs from da hoods of Cheshire who would try and nick their CD sleeves for the parental guidance warning lyrics printed inside them. We had to replace them with temporary inserts and keep the real thing behind the counter.

Both Dr. Dre and Notorious B.I.G. continue to feature in my life as a source of inspiration for in jokes between myself and my wife. Whenever one of us says that we’ve forgotten something, it will be followed by a cry of “Forgot about Dre” referencing his 2000 single with Eminem and which Mark and Lard satirised on their Radio 1 show. Notorious B.I.G. was also known as Biggie Smalls which gets a regular shout out if one of us says “no biggie” as in “it’s not a big deal”. We sound insufferable don’t we but we’re not really – honest!

Here’s a band that was lumped in with the Britpop movement whether they liked it or not but are hardly talked about anymore despite having a clutch of decent tunes. If Longpigs are mentioned these days, it’s usually to say that they included a young Richard Hawley in their ranks (he’s the guitarist on the left of the screen) and he, of course, would go onto much solo success as a ballad crooner with albums like “Coles Corner” and “Lady’s Bridge”. He was also briefly a member of Pulp after Longpigs split. I’ve seen him a couple of times live and he was great.

Back to Longpigs though and “On And On” (not a tribute to the longevity of this blog!) was their second and joint biggest hit of their career alongside the excellent follow up “She Said”. Weirdly, just as I mentioned Aswad earlier for their version of “How Long” with Yazz, I get to name check them again as they also had a hit with a song called “On And On” in 1989 though obviously not the Longpigs song.

No, it’s not that moment (not yet) but it is Suggs with his cover of the Simon & Garfunkel song “Cecilia”. I’ve always had a soft spot for Madness and have even seen them live but Suggs as a solo artist? No, nay, never. I didn’t like any of his solo singles (not even “Blue Day” with my beloved Chelsea FC) and haven’t enjoyed his performances on these TOTP repeats. I’m not sure why Suggs on his own is such a turn off for me – maybe it’s the hackneyed layer of ska he applies to all his songs which annoys, especially on cover versions like this. He’s roped in Louchie Lou and Michie One for this single whom you may recall had a ragga-fied hit in 1993 with a version of one of the worst songs in the history of recorded music – Lulu’s “Shout”. I don’t think their contribution helped at all. However, given that they are on the record and in the studio with Suggs, why did they need the other two backing dancers for this performance? They don’t add anything much either although in reality, no amount of intervention could fumigate this stinker.

Yes, Babylon Zoo did have another hit and here’s the proof. “Animal Army” was the follow up to “Spaceman” and nearly 30 years later, it doesn’t stand up well at all. It probably needed crutches in that department even back then. You can see what Jas Mann was trying to do; repeat the recipe that made its predecessor such a banquet of a hit but without the magic ingredient of the exposure of a Levi’s ad campaign, it was always going to taste a bit bland. It feels like it should have been better than it was, that all the flavours were there but it wasn’t quite right – it had been overcooked. In the mixing bowl was a bit of glam rock, a hint of Suede, even a dash of Stone Roses and Oasis in the vocal phrasing but the lyrics were utter tosh about elephants, lions, leopards and then bizarrely dinosaurs and angels. Just nonsense. The inclusion of some elephant trumpet noises at one point is a direct steal from the opening of Talk Talk’s “Such A Shame”. So, in conclusion, very derivative and ultimately not very convincing. It would debut at No 17 but was out of the chart within two weeks. It was a similar story everywhere else. The Babylon Zoo story was coming to an end only weeks after it had started.

Talking of derivative, this single by Upside Down sounds so familiar to something else but I can’t quite put my finger in what it is*. “Every Time I Fall In Love” was the second hit for this lot who were perhaps the ultimate in manufactured boy bands with their audition and selection process filmed for the BBC documentary series Inside Story. If this was the sound of falling in love, it was enough to make us all platonic. Plastic, shallow and facile. I can’t find a clip of this studio performance but they’ve turned up in different coloured silk suits but getting dressed themselves was clearly beyond them as they’ve forgotten their shirts underneath their suit jackets. It’s like Showaddywaddy meets The Chippendales. Sadly, Upside Down had another two hits in them before they disappeared and renamed themselves Orange Orange. No, really.

*Update: I think it might be “The Girl Is Mine” by Michael Jackson?

Next an allegorical song for the ages from Rage Against The Machine. The lead single from their second album “Evil Empire”, “Bulls On Parade” warns of how the arms industry encourages war and conflicts as it’s good for business and securing military contracts. RATM pull no punches about their disgust at the practice with lines like these:

Weapons not food, not homes, not shoes

Not need, just feed the war cannibal animal

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brad Wilk / Timmy Commerford / Tom Morello / Zach De La Rocha
Bulls on Parade lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing

Nearly thirty years later, the world appears to have learned nothing. There’s no space here for pithy irreverence from me. I’ll leave it there.

I’m not giving any devastating insight by stating that there was a lot riding on the release of “A Design For Life” for Manic Street Preachers. This was their first new song since the disappearance of rhythm guitarist and songwriter Richey Edwards. Having made the decision to carry on, there must have been a huge amount of trepidation within the band and their record company about how it would be received. Would the fan base accept them as a trio? Would this new song be too far removed from the dark material of their “Holy Bible” album? They needn’t have worried – “A Design For Life” would give the band the biggest hit of their career and provide them with probably their best known song. There was something about the scale of track that hypnotised. Perhaps it was the dominant but not domineering string section (the same players as employed on the majestic “Yes” by McAlmont & Butler) that gave it such power. You knew it was going to be massive from the first time you heard it and hear it we did as it was played endlessly on radio in a way none of their previous singles had ever been. Parent album “Everything Must Go” would indeed go… three times platinum and furnish the band with four hit singles. Manic Street Preachers had not only survived the loss of a crucial band member but they were actually flourishing in the aftermath.

A few posts ago I wrote about the BBC series This Life and about how its soundtrack was full of contemporary music (mainly Britpop) including the Manics. Ten years after the series finished, a reunion special was made to catch up with the characters and see what had happened to them all. In one scene, they have a barbecue and drink long into the night. The music that they played as they partied? Yep, “A Design For Life”.

It’s a third and final week at the top for The Prodigy and “Firestarter”. The band had experienced plenty of big hits before of course – five of their previous nine singles had gone Top 10 but a No 1 record, even in 1996 when there were more than ever thanks to record company marketing, promotion and pricing strategies, was still a huge deal especially for a band seen as being so far from the mainstream. Incredibly, they would repeat the trick with their next single “Breathe” paving the way for an electric performance at Glastonbury in 1997 which blew me away. Sadly for the band, that year also saw Radiohead play the set of their lives there the following night which rather stole some of their thunder but it shouldn’t diminish the achievement of a band whose first hit was dismissed as having creating the much maligned toy town techno genre.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitNope
2Paul CarrackHow LongI did not
32Pac featuring Dr.Dre and Roger TroutmanCalifornian LoveNo
4LongpigsOn And OnDecent tune but no
5Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie OneCeciliaNever!
6Babylon ZooAnimal ArmyNah
7Upside DownEvery Time I Fall In LoveAs if
8Rage Against The MachineBulls On ParadeWorthy but no
9Manic Street PreachersA Design For LifeNo but I had the Everything Must Go album
10The ProdigyFirestarterAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020crr/top-of-the-pops-11041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 04 APR 1996

Four days before this TOTP aired, my beloved Chelsea lost an FA Cup semi-final to Manchester United who were on their way to the ‘double double’. I was crushed. After waiting my whole life to see them play in a proper cup final, they’d got humped 4-0 by United two years before. In 1996 though, I was sure that we would get revenge and turn the reds over to reach the final again. We nearly did. Leading 1-0 at half time we looked good until an early second half equaliser and a catastrophic misplaced back pass to set up a young David Beckham for the winner meant that we fell to defeat. I had no idea at the time but a year later, my anguish would be fully cleansed by our cathartic victory over Middlesbrough in next season’s final under Ruud Gullit and his ‘sexy football’. There are no football songs on this edition of TOTP but maybe there are some sexy ones? Let’s see…

Well this guy clearly thinks he’s sexy but…As with last week’s show, we start with a dance tune by an act that’s probably just the pseudonym for a DJ or producer or both. Kadoc were from Spain according to tonight’s host Dale Winton and that’s all there is to say about them or at least that I can be bothered to find out about them. I did try but there wasn’t much coming up other than I recognised the generic design on the cover of the single that was the mark of the Positiva record label who must have licensed it in the UK.

As for their track “Night Train”, it sounds to me like another one of those tracks that owes a lot to “French Kiss” by Lil Louis. A repetitive beat based around a one line lyric – it might have made sense on a sweaty dance floor down your nightclub of choice but it all looks a bit silly in the TOTP studio despite throwing a trio of backing dancers at it to try and raise the temperature of the performance. Look, if you’re going to do a song called “Night Train” on TOTP, let the late, great Steve Strange and co show you how. Backing singers missing their cues, jerky, unrehearsed dance moves from Steve and all cloaked in enough dry ice that wouldn’t be out of place in John Carpenter’s horror classic The Fog. Lovely stuff.

I’m not sure if Ocean Colour Scene have ever been described as ‘sexy’ (maybe they have by the strong devoted in their fan base) but it’s not the first word you would use to describe them is it? That’s not a criticism – they always seemed like a band that were more about their art than air brushed photo shoots anyway. Having scored their first Top 40 hit with previous single “Riverboat Song”, they followed it with an even bigger one in “You’ve Got It Bad”. This is yet another single that I haven’t retained in my memory banks. I could have bet money that the magnificent “The Day We Caught The Train” was the follow up to “Riverboat Song” but yet again these TOTP repeats delight in revealing to me how my memory is failing me. In my defence, “You’ve Got It Bad” isn’t one of the band’s better tunes – I think I would describe it as ‘competent’ which isn’t really how you would want your craft to be categorised.

Dale Winton mentions in his intro that the band’s next live gig is supporting Oasis. Would that be the Maine Road gigs at the end of the month? I think it might be. As I confessed in a previous post, I was at the Saturday concert with some friends but missed seeing Ocean Colour Scene as we were still imbibing some pre-gig drinks when they were on stage. In August this year I will be rectifying that wrong when I will see the band along with Embrace and Cast at an outdoor gig in Hull. Incidentally, Cast were also meant to be in that Oasis bill but had to pull out as their drummer had broken his arm. Couldn’t they have borrowed a replacement from someone like when The Beatles subbed in Jimmie Nicol for a tonsillitis struck Ringo for some gigs on their 1964 world tour? Maybe Oasis could have given them Tony McCarroll’s number whom they’d recently sacked? By the way, it’s taken a while but I’ve finally worked out who lead singer Simon Fowler reminds me of here…

Now, I’m not sure that Dave Grohl is the sexiest man in rock but he has been described as the nicest and that’s got to count for something. His band Foo Fighters were in the charts this week with the fourth and final single taken from their eponymous debut album called “Big Me”. It’s a very radio friendly song definitely at the poppier end of their range and to reflect that, they made a video to promote it that parodied the well known (in America) series of adverts for Mentos Mints. It was based around a narrative that people could solve day-to-day problems by outside-the-box thinking if they ate a Mento Mint to inspire their creativity. The actors in these ads performed in mannered and exaggerated ways (camping it up some might say) against an insanely catchy jingle. The Foo Fighters video apes some of the scenarios in the Mentos adverts scene for scene (the boxed in car for example) with the band also lampooning the acting style. It works pretty well if you know those adverts which of course we didn’t in the UK so we might have appreciated that it was an attempt at being light hearted but the parody element surely escaped us.

So back to Dave Grohl and whether he’s sexy or not. I’m not sure he did himself any favours by styling his long hair into bunches in parts of the video. It gave me real Bill Bailey vibes from that episode of Black Books where they drink the guy’s really expensive wine cellar dry.

Now, was this next hit a blatant and deliberate attempt to cash in on a TV sensation or something that grew organically from the clubs before finally getting an official release? The truth is out there (yes I’m using that tag line again!) but I’m not sure where it is. Apparently, some club DJs had been playing the X Files theme as a chill out track for ravers to come down to after a hard night on the dance floor and all that entailed (ahem) but had then also used it as a basis for making unlicensed dance remixes causing Warners to release the official single by Mark Snow in an attempt to kill off the practice. However, it didn’t prevent a retaliatory official release of “X-Files” by DJ Dado whose version had been one of the most popular in the clubs. Dado was an Italian DJ and producer (weren’t they all?) who took the dream trance sound of Robert Miles’ “Children” and combined it with the haunting melody of the TV show theme to come up with this hit that would spend time residing alongside Snow’s original in the Top 10. It would turn out to be DJ Dado’s only UK hit.

If innuendo is all about sex then “Ooh Aah…(Just A Little Bit)” is indeed a sexy song. Gina G’s Eurovision entry has crashed into the charts at No 6, instantly topping the chart high of the previous year’s contestant Love City Groove. Whether this was a portent that it could sweep all before it and take the Eurovision crown for the UK for the first time in 15 years was debatable but it was indisputable evidence that it was going to be a major hit on our chart. Not since Bardo (remember them) in 1982 had a UK entrant been so high up the Top 40 and this is as with the actual contest still being six weeks away when, whatever its fate, the song would surely get another sales boost due to the promotion and coverage of the event. As it turned out, “Ooh Aah…(Just A Little Bit)” would enjoy a spectacular chart run spending a solid ten weeks inside the Top 10.

This particular TOTP has gone backing dancer mad with Gina’s gals being the third set to feature after those behind Kadoc and DJ Dado. Despite a bit of over enthusiastic thrusting of chests, their moves are playful rather than suggestive I would…erm…suggest whilst Gina gives a winning Kylie-esque smile throughout. I have my own personal story about this song but I’ll keep it warming the bench for now as guess what? Gina is the opening act on the next show!

Hmm. Despite his large collection of ballads and love songs in his back catalogue, I’m not sure that the words Lionel Richie and sexy belong together in the same sentence. He’s here anyway to promote his latest single “Don’t Wanna Lose You” but judging by the fade away segue, it’s just a repeat of his studio appearance from the other week. Truly, it’s not a very good song and surely can’t be talked about in the same breath as some of his classic hits. In Lionel’s defence, he’s definitely trying out his best approximation of Lenny Henry’s Theophilius P. Wildebeeste’s character (he’s even cultivated a carefully coiffured beard) and looks longingly straight down the camera but you can’t really get away for the fact that he is, despite everything he’s trying, still Lionel Richie.

Next to a guy who may have been an unlikely sex symbol but his picture was surely on more teenagers walls than Lionel Richie’s. Jarvis Cocker’s national treasure status was never bigger than at this point. Not only had his band Pulp completely crossed over into the mainstream following the success of their “Different Class” album but he’d become front page news after his protest against Michael Jackson at the BRIT Awards a few weeks before this TOTP aired. “Something Changed” was the fourth single lifted from that album and I recall thinking that the band were pushing it releasing a single from an album that had already been out for six months by this point. However, it’s such a good song it deserved its own moment in the spotlight. An observation on the randomness of life and how monumental events in people’s lives occur. Cleverly, it doesn’t eulogise the concept of fate as so many songs do but rather tries to examine the ‘sliding doors’ notion of how your life would have gone in a completely different direction if you’d literally arrived somewhere one minute earlier or later. That idea really intrigues me and I’m sure we can all think of our own personal ‘sliding doors’ moments. I hadn’t realised until now how old the song was in that the band had played around with it as early as 1984 but returned to it for the “Different Class” sessions and worked it into the track we know today. Maybe if they’d persevered with it originally then fame and fortune might have come to the band much earlier than it did. A ‘sliding doors’ moment indeed.

It’s the return of Mark Morrison now as he continues his protracted journey to the No 1 spot with his hit “Return Of The Mack”. He’s up to No 4 this week after spending three consecutive weeks at No 6. Him topping the chart after that run must have seemed unlikely but the two place move upwards was followed by a week at No 3 before he finally got to the summit in week six of release. Whilst we were seeing a new No 1 record going straight to the top virtually every week around this time, it’s worth remembering that there were still some songs that climbed steadily like in the good old days of the 80s. As well as Morrison, there was the aforementioned Gina G who took eight weeks to get to No 1 plus, of course, there was the outlier that was “Think Twice” by Celine Dion that took an incredible sixteen weeks to rise to the top. Totally predictably, Morrison adds to the backing dancer count for this TOTP with a further four in this performance. There was clearly a trend for showing your bra during this period!

The Prodigy remain at No 1 with “Firestarter”. I talked about the video for this one in the last post so now it’s time to focus on the song itself. Well, it couldn’t be more in your face – the musical equivalent of the face hugger from the Alien franchise. A blistering assault on your aural senses. I guess you can’t underestimate the input of Keith Flint to it in what was unbelievably his first vocal contribution to a Prodigy track. It would be like Bez doing lead vocals on a Happy Mondays single and it going to No 1. A remarkable achievement. Sure, Flint didn’t have a technically good voice but what he did do, he did brilliantly. As for the musical composition of the song, there are a few samples in there that I’ve never picked up on before. I’m going to pardon myself for not spotting The Breeders and “Devotion” by Ten City but how on earth did I miss the ‘hey’ chant from Art Of Noise’s “Close (To The Edit)”?! It’s metaphorically been under my nose and literally in my ears for 28 years!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1KadocNight TrainNever
2Ocean Colour SceneYou’ve Got It BadNo
3Foo FightersBig MeI didn’t
4DJ DadoX-FilesOf course not
5Gina GOoh Aah…(Just A Little Bit)Nope
6Lionel RichieDon’t Wanna Lose YouNah
7PulpSomething ChangedNo but I had the Different Class album with it on
8Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNegative
9The ProdigyFirestarterShould have but didn’t

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020540/top-of-the-pops-04041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 28 MAR 1996

On the Monday following the broadcast of this TOTP, John Squire released a statement confirming that he had left the Stone Roses. As that date was 1st April, maybe some thought it was an April Fool’s joke but in reality, the writing had been on the wall for some time. The band were in disarray after a number of damaging events – the lukewarm reception to the almost mythical sophomore album “Second Coming”, the departure of Reni and the cancellation of their Glastonbury appearance the year before and the poor reviews for the shows they did play with much of the criticism surrounding the state of Ian Brown’s voice. The Stone Roses would be dissolved by Brown and Mani just a few short months later. Squire would move in to his next project very quickly with The Seahorses claiming a Top 3 hit with their debut release “Love Is The Law” in late April.

Also moving on to something new was the Our Price store in Stockport where I was working. I’m pretty sure it was around this time that we switched over from the old (and antiquated) master bag stock control system to the Virgin ELVIS technology. I think it stood for Electronic Virgin Information System and was quite the advancement from what preceded it. This was a computerised system that would give you daily figures (as opposed to a manual count) for every item that was sold in store meaning that you had much better sales information on which to make reorder decisions about the all important chart titles. Setting it up though was quite an undertaking as everything in the shop needed a barcode attaching to it and scanning into the system. Not only that but the tills had to be changed as well and the staff trained in how to use them. It was quite the transition and required a team of ELVIS trainers to guide us through it and for the store to be shut to the public at some points while the hardware was installed. I wonder which tunes we might have played in the shop stereo to soundtrack our endeavours…

I don’t think “I Need A Lover Tonight” by Ken Doh would have been my first choice. Who the hell was this guy, where had he come from and what did he want? Well, my answers would be that he was a pound shop Haddaway, I don’t know nor care and that he wanted a hit record which he got when this Italian House track from the “Nakasaki” EP went to No 7.

Presumably the whole thing was inspired by the wrestler Kendo Nagasaki who was popular in the 70s. His real name was Peter Thornley who kept up the pretence of his Japanese samurai wrestling character by never being seen without his mask and doing interviews via a representative. A similarly mute approach by Ken Doh would have been appreciated. Ken Doh? I’d rather have Mad Donna…

The curious footnote to pop history that is Bis have themselves an actual, proper chart hit with “Kandy Pop” from “The Secret Vampire Soundtrack” EP after their debut TOTP appearance the other week as the first unsigned *band in the show’s history.

*This wasn’t quite the truth as they were on Glasgow’s Chemikal Underground label

Up to No 25 by this point, it’s a curious song that sounds like an outlier compared to its chart contemporaries back then. Sort of ahead of its time you might say in that it has a new millennium feel to it to my ears. Of course, I might be talking bollocks here; I often do. Here’s evidence of that as my earlier description of them as a musical footnote isn’t really true. Yes, they only had two minor UK Top 40 hits but that doesn’t really tell the whole Bis story. As Alphaville once sang, the band were big in Japan, have released six studio albums, fourteen EPs, seventeen singles, had their music used in The Powerpuff Girls TV series and film and, despite a few years hiatus, are still a going concern today. They haven’t quite made it to the top result if you google Bis though being behind the Bank for International Settlements.

Themes from TV shows as hits in the pop charts, whilst not a weekly occurrence, weren’t unheard of either. There’s “The Theme From M*A*S*H” / “Suicide Is Painless”, Ennis Morricone’s “Chi Mai” from The Life And Times Of David Lloyd George and “I’ll Be There For You” by The Rembrandts from Friends to name but three. However, “The X Files” by Mark Snow felt different to all of the above. Maybe because it was from a sci-fi show and therefore the sound of it was…what?…spooky…eerie…sinister….that its success seemed somehow out of left field. I couldn’t quite imagine people buying it, taking it home and then listening to it. They must have as it went to No 2 in the charts and stayed there for three weeks but it seemed an unlikely activity. Or maybe they weren’t listening to it but bought it as a keepsake or souvenir of the show they loved. In the pre-digital age, access to your favourite show wasn’t as easy to come by. Sure, you could record the episodes off the TV to a VHS tape for repeated viewing or wait until the official videos came out and buy them (and many people did) but all that required effort. Or was it being played in the clubs as a come down tune as the morning dawned and the ravers tried to get themselves together to make the journey home? I guess the truth is out there (ahem) as to the real reason people took to buying this single in such quantities but it probably isn’t anything to do with an alien plot to take over the earth.

The XFiles TV series was first aired in the UK on Sky in January 1994 (Rishi Sunak wouldn’t have known about it then) before being picked up by BBC2 in the September. By March 1996, it was an established phenomenon with the characters of Mulder and Scully imprinted on the national psyche (just ask Catatonia). I watched it occasionally rather than religiously but always enjoyed what I saw. Mark Snow’s theme tune though? I couldn’t imagine feeling the need to listen to (an albeit enhanced) four minute version of it let alone purchase it. Such was the interest in The XFiles and its theme tune though that inevitably other parties saw the opportunity to cash in on it. In a future TOTP repeat, we’ll see DJ Dado with an Italian House version of the song but I’m getting ahead of myself. For now, it was all about Mark Snow and his hit record which by making it to No 2, equalled the chart high of the last instrumental TV theme tune to be a mega smash that being “Crockett’s Theme” by Jan Hammer from Miami Vice in 1987.

When I were a lad, the utterance “ooh-arr” usually meant just one thing – The Wurzels were on TV again. Yes, the Scrumpy and Western band who gave us “The Combine Harvester” and “I Am A Cider Drinker” never seemed to be far from our screens in that long hot summer of 1976. Fast forward twenty years and that phrase (with just a little bit of a spelling tweak) would be adopted for a much higher and nobler use than that of a novelty record – the UK’s Eurovision Song Contest entry! Gina G was the singer chosen to represent us in 1996 despite the fact that she is Australian (the following year we had Katrina And The Waves whose titular Katrina is American also) and although she would finish 8th despite being a pre-tournament favourite with the bookies, her song “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” would become a No 1 record. This would make it the first Eurovision song to top the UK charts since “A Little Peace” by Nicole in 1982 and the first UK entrant not to win Eurovision but become a No 1 since “Congratulations” by Cliff Richard in 1968. Phew! How did this happen then? Well, the Song For Europe people had shown a willingness to depart from the more traditional Eurovision sound with the previous year’s “Love City Groove” track and though that rap experiment failed in terms of winning the contest, it proved that you could go bold without being derided. Hence the following year, another musical direction was chosen that wasn’t a natural fit with Eurovision but which was certainly popular – Eurodance. “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” nailed that sound but added something to make it stand out – an infectious, brain cell kidnapping, almighty hook of a chorus that was simple to the point of nearly being dumb but with a sexual overtone. It was sort of like a more knowing, elder sister of “Saturday Night” by Whigfield really.

Given that the single would stay in the Top 10 for ten consecutive weeks (including seven at either No1, No 2 or No 3) and given that Eurovision wasn’t until the 18th May and this TOTP was still in March, I think I’ll leave it there for now. We’ll be seeing a lot more of Gina G in the forthcoming weeks but to add some symmetry to the post, it should be noted that The Wurzels recorded their own version of “Ooh Aah Just A Little Bit” in 2002 (with the “Ooh Aah” restyled as “Ooh Arr” obviously) from their album “Never Mind The Bullocks, Here’s The Wurzels”. Marvellous!

Just like that other Britpop band Menswear at this time, Cast decided that their fourth single release would be a ballad. Whereas “Being Brave” felt ever so slightly of being contrived and that it had everything thrown at it in the production, “Walkaway” sounded more organic to me. As I said in a recent post, I think Menswear just about pulled it off with their slowie but Cast’s attempt at balladry seemed more natural and effortless. Wistful, contemplative, melancholic yet melodic, it really stood out.

Being chosen to soundtrack a BBC montage to draw a line under England’s semi-final defeat to Germany in Euro 96 didn’t harm the song’s life cycle either. Whoever was putting those vignettes together was clearly a Britpop fan after Shed Seven had been used twice before earlier in the competition. “Walkaway” was an inspired choice though. The devastation the nation felt after Gareth Southgate missed that penalty needed to be acknowledged and assuaged and Cast’s track was just right. The band themselves were away on tour in the US whilst all the fervour and excitement surrounding the tournament was going on and so missed their moment of national recognition. It might just be their most well known tune though not their highest charting hit. That honour would be bestowed on their next release, the non-album single “Flying” which indeed the band were. One thing though; shouldn’t it have been called “Walk Away” not “Walkaway”.

I should have probably mentioned that this is the last show to be hosted by Mark Goodier. He’d made his TOTP debut back in 1988 and although I’ve been quite disparaging about him in the past on this blog, I can appreciate that he was a safe pair of hands. His hair in this episode is very Louis Balfour of The Fast Show’s ‘Jazz Club’. Nice! Also coming to an end were PJ & Duncan. No, sadly they hadn’t decided to stop making music yet but rather that they would now be releasing records under their own names rather than their Byker Grove characters. On reflection, it’s a wonder that the change hadn’t happened much earlier. After all, they had been gone from the CBBC drama for three years by this point. Whatever the reason and circumstances behind the change of moniker, you could see the direction the pair were heading in the direct to camera piece at the top of the show where they inform us that they will be performing on the show tonight from an aircraft hangar at Heathrow Airport on their way to Japan. This presenting lark did seem to come naturally to them. The track they are promoting is the fourth and final single lifted from their “Top Katz” album and it’s a cover of the old Monkees hit “(I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone” except the duo have renamed it as purely “Stepping Stone”. Well, at least they were showing some respect for the correct spelling.

I say the old Monkees hit but the song has been covered by many artists including, as Mark Goodier states in his intro, The Sex Pistols but the list also includes Paul Revere & The Raiders and scouse baggy types The Farm. Like most I would guess though, the version I first knew was that Monkees one as it was on a Greatest Hits tape I had when I was only about 10. Back then I was more familiar with them than The Beatles for example due to the repeats of their TV shows that the BBC would air during those aforementioned long summer holidays. As for PJ & Duncan’s version, it’s predictably naff with the first few seconds sounding like a knock off of “Everybody In The Place” by The Prodigy (more of whom later).

How do you define Dubstar? Even the music press at the time struggled. Look at this list of other artists that they were compared to by various publications:

  • Portishead
  • Pet Shop Boys
  • St Etienne
  • Billie Ray Martin
  • Deacon Blue (?!)

Well, if those guys in the know couldn’t decide, what chance do I have? For the record, surveying that list, my first inclination was towards Portishead but on reflection maybe St Etienne is a better choice. Or maybe we should dispense with all such comparisons and judge them on their own merits? Yes, that seems like a better way of doing it. I shall proceed on that basis. “Stars” was a rerelease of their debut single which had peaked at No 40 in 1995 but was given a second chance after the success of “Not So Manic Now” and deservedly so. It’s an affecting, almost beautiful song bestowed with a touch of stardust by the celestial vocals of Sarah Blackwood. Deceptively slight and also substantial at the same time, it rightly became the band’s biggest hit when it peaked at No 15 second time around. There you go. No comparisons to anybody else in that assessment. As for the performance here, Sarah’s commitment to hardly moving is almost Chris Lowe-esque…Oh bugger.

There is a point where I really couldn’t be bothered with Wet Wet Wet anymore. When they burst into the charts in 1987 from seemingly nowhere with a clutch of great pop tunes (albeit with some bits of them pinched from the work of others), I genuinely liked them. Even when they tried to make that jump from pop star to mature artist too quickly with second album “Holding Back The River” I thought they were still OK and then their renaissance under third album “High On The Happy Side” was well deserved as it was a solid pop album. So why and when did my interest wane? It seems obvious now but it was “Love Is All Around”. I didn’t hate it like everyone else seems to be in a rush to say they did these days but after that level of success I guess I maybe thought they didn’t deserve my attention any more. Not that they would have known or cared about my onrushing indifference but still. I know “Julia Says” was the follow up single but after that I couldn’t really tell you what they released. As such, I have zero memory of “Morning” but Wikipedia tells me that it was fifth and final single taken from the “Picture This” album and it peaked at No 16.

Having listened to it back, it wouldn’t be out of place on a Radio 2 playlist today but was this really what the kids wanted back then? I wonder how many albums that “huge record deal” they’d just signed according to Mark Goodier was for? They only managed to release one more before the end of the 90s plus a second Greatest Hits in 2004 for their label Mercury. To be fair to them, drummer Tommy Cunningham left the group for a while over royalty payments and then Marti Pellow had to take time out to deal with his addiction problems. The band are just about still together though seem to be a three piece these days with only Graeme Clark and previously publicity shy guitarist Graeme Duffin remaining from the original combo with former Liberty X member Kevin Simm on lead vocals.

To the new No 1 and what a seismic record it was. Everything about “Firestarter” by The Prodigy screamed headlines whether they were about its sound, Keith Flint, that video and, of course, a show of moral outrage by some of the tabloids. Watching the promo back further the first time possibly since 1996 and it strikes me that it would be hard to explain to anyone who wasn’t around then why it was so shocking but somehow it was. Why was it? Well, it was 28 years ago and in those intervening years, we will have witnessed a lot of shit and maybe we have become desensitised to images that we would have once found shocking or disturbing. Perhaps, if our first view of the video was via this TOTP and that first view came after a very mellow song by those nice Wet Wet Wet boys…well, it would have been a bit of a shock and certainly quite a contrast. Then there’s the fact that it’s all shot in black and white (due to the band blowing most of the budget on an aborted first attempt) and set in a disused London Underground tunnel adding to the sense that we were watching something very sinister. We were still three years away from the black and white ‘footage’ style cinema of The Blair Witch Project but revisiting the “Firestarter” promo through the prism of that film somehow makes the viewing even more unsettling. Then there’s Keith Flint whose performance provoked such a reaction from viewers and the press. The tics and twitches that he constantly shows us gave the impression of someone who was, if not deranged, definitely experiencing some sort of mental breakdown. His Soo Catwoman influenced hairstyle only added to the sense of the unhinged. And then there’s the sound of “Firestarter”…oh hang on, you know what? It’s going to be No 1 for the next two TOTP repeats so I think I’ll leave it smouldering there for now…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Ken DohI Need A Lover TonightNever
2BisKandy PopNegative
3Mark SnowThe X FilesNo
4Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitNope
5CastWalkawayHow did I walkaway from this one? No it seems
6PJ & DuncanStepping StoneAs if
7DubstarStarsDidn’t but should have
8Wet Wet WetMorningNah
9The ProdigyFirestarterSee 8 above

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002053x/top-of-the-pops-28031996?seriesId=unsliced