80stastic

TOTP 10 MAY 1990

Posted on December 15, 2020 by 80stastic

I haven’t done this in a while but here is a quick retread of what this blog is about. I, a 52 year old middle aged man, am reviewing each of the TOTP repeats broadcast on BBC4 whilst also trying desperately to remember what I was up to 30 odd years ago when they were originally aired. I’ve been doing this for four years since the TOTP shows got up to 1983 and we are now into 1990! The years ’83 – ’89 are covered in my blog 80spop.wordpress.com whilst ’90 onwards will all feature in this blog. Why am I doing this? I ask myself this question constantly. I guess it’s not to discover ‘new’ music although there are often songs and acts that come up that I have forgotten about or never took any notice of in the first place. I can’t think of many though that have inspired me to delve into any deeper cuts by said acts and discover new musical frontiers. I guess I must just be a sucker for nostalgia and given the state of the current world, who wouldn’t want to escape to a different era for a while to pretend 2020 isn’t happening? Come on then, let’s flee back to 1990 – I’m 21 (soon to be 22) and with my whole life ahead of me…..

Up until this point, Kylie Minogue had pretty much always been regarded as a Stock, Aitken and Waterman pop puppet, singing and dancing and smiling along to their conveyor belt of formulaic songs that they seemed to have an endless supply of. And it had served her well. Her nine single releases with The Hit Factory had yielded four No 1s, four no 2s and a No 4. Not too shabby at all. However, by 1990, following in the footsteps of many other manufactured pop stars stretching all the way back to the 60s and The Monkees, Kylie wanted to be taken more seriously. “Better The Devil You Know” is undoubtedly the starting point for that journey into credibility. Acting like a ‘year zero’ marker, it appeared fully formed out of the changing rooms of pop and said in a confident tone “What do you think?”. After getting over the ‘wow!’ factor of this performance, I think I must have been taken aback at the accomplished sound that SAW had managed to come up with for Kylie. For let’s not forget, “Better The Devil You Know” is a SAW creation in its entirety from its writing through to its production. However, the parent album “Rhythm Of Love” was the first time that Kylie was allowed more creative freedom and resulted in working with producers other than SAW on four tacks that also resulted in credits as co-writer for her. However, the four singles that were taken from the album that really solidified this new era of Kylie were all SAW productions.

Kylie is nine days older than me so, just as I was about to turn 22 and facing up to those big life decisions of what to do next, she was also making some major life choices*. She had already left Neighbours and had starred in a much more gritty vehicle in the film The Delinquents, a coming of age romantic drama. More influential than any of this though was the fact that she was now dating INXS frontman Michael Hutchence. A lot has been made and written about the corrupting effect of wild man of rock Hutchence on little girl next door Kylie but I am of the opinion that Ms Minogue had more than enough about her to be making her own career and life choices. I’m sure Hutchence was an influence but let’s face it, “Better The Devil You Know” doesn’t sound like any INXS song I know.

Generally referred to as the ‘Sexy Kylie’ era of her career, certainly this release ushered in a change of image with the video for “Better The Devil You Know” featuring Kylie recreating the replicant chase scene from Bladerunner where Deckard guns down a see through mac clad Zhora and cavorting about in a black dress with the straps constantly falling down.

“Better The Devil You Know” would peak at No 2 (kept off the No 1 spot only by Adamski with “Killer”) but the album would not sell nearly as well as her first two long players. She would complete her contract with the PWL label in 1991 with the release of “Lets Get To It” before resurfacing in 1994 as ‘Dance Kylie’ with the release of her “Confide In Me” single on Mike Pickering’s Deconstruction label.

*Obviously we took very different career paths on the back of those decisions – my time as a gay icon is yet to happen I have to admit.

The Wonder Stuff up next with “Circle Square”. Miles Hunt and co had been making steady inroads into the business of being a chart act for a couple of years now. After their first chart breakthrough in 1988 with “It’s Yer Money I’m After Baby” which made No 40, the Stuffies had notched up a further three hit singles peaking at Nos 28, 19 and 33. “Circle Square” would continue that consolidation by topping out at No 20.

As far as I can work out, it wasn’t taken from their then current album “Hup” but rather was a stand alone single although it was included in the track listing on its 21st anniversary rerelease in 2010. I liked this and the lyric “I’ve been a long term disappointment to myself” has stuck with me these past 30 years like a personal statement (see also “I failed my own audition” from “Up Here In The North Of England” by The Icicle Works).

However the band would have to wait another year before becoming a massive commercial success when the release of their hit single “Size Of A Cow” propelled them into the Top 5 and parent album “Never Loved Elvis” into the Top 3. Their decision to hook up with Vic Reeves for a cover of Tommy Roe’s “Dizzy” in October of that year would grant them a bona fide chart topper. However, would that be the moment it all came right or the moment it all went wrong?

It’s the man known as Mantronix next alongside vocalist Wondress with a tune called “Take Your Time”. This was the follow up to their No 4 hit “Got To Have Your Love” and it did / does absolutely nothing for me. I’m not the world’s biggest electro-funk fan it has to be said but this sounds as convincing as a Boris Johnson promise.

Asked in a Smash Hits interview who he would rather go out with from a choice of Margaret Thatcher (!), Tanita Tikaram or Kylie, Kurtis Mantronix replied none of them on the basis that:

Mrs Thatch had no compassion (fair point)
Tanita was in a different frame of mind to him
He didn’t know what Kylie looked like!

Hang on, you’re on the same TOTP show as her! Weren’t you watching her perform at the top of the show Kurtis? When pressed on this by his manager Chuck (“You didn’t see her yesterday at Top Of The Pops? She’s real cute man.”) Mantronix replied “No! You guys saw her. I was back in the dressing room. She has no sensuality.” Whaaat?! No sensuality?! Kylie?!

“Take Your Time” peaked at No 10.

Teen sensations New Kids On The Block are back with their latest offering “Cover Girl” and if you though their previous hits like “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” and “Hangin’ Tough” were drivel, then I advise you not to watch the video below. “Cover Girl” is bubble gum pop taken to a new saccharine low. Propelled by a Wurlitzer sounding organ backing and some of the dodgiest lyrics of all time, this one not only reeks but it stinks the place out. The video is just the band performing live to an adoring audience (didn’t they do the same thing for the “Hangin’ Tough” video?) with Donnie Wahlberg taking lead vocal duties and making a right arse of himself. He absolutely honks at some points in the song and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse he gets a pre-pubescent little girl on stage with him and sings to her that she’s his ‘cover girl”. Jeeze! Could he be anymore inappropriate?!

“Cover Girl” peaked at No 4 and be warned. New Kids On The Block are not yet done with 1990; not by a long chalk.

1990 didn’t just belong to New Kids On The Block though. Here are one of the year’s biggest break out stars Beats International back in the charts with “Won’t Talk About It”. Having hit on the perfect pop / dance formula with “Dub Be Good To Me”, could Norman Cook, Lindy Layton et al repeat the trick with this new track? I say new but it had already been released as a double A-side together with “Blame It On The Bassline” under the name of Norman Cook back in 1989. That version included Billy Bragg’s vocals alongside his guitar riff from “Levi Stubbs Tears”…

When reissued under the name of Beats International the following year, Lindy Layton and Lester Noel’s had laid down their vocals on the track instead and it sounded much more polished and chart friendly though not necessarily better in my book. To answer the question of whether they could repeat the success of “Dub Be Good To Me”, the answer was yes…and no. “Won’t Talk About It” was another chart hit and even made the Top 10 but its No 9 peak was nowhere near what its predecessor had achieved. It would also prove to be their last ever Top 40 entry before they eventually disbanded in 1992. Whilst Cook went onto massive success under various pseudonyms (most notably Fatboy Slim), Lindy Layton secured herself a solo career via a recording contract with Arista. Her first single was a cover of Janet Kaye’s “Silly Games” (which Kaye also featured on) and was a No 22 hit but it was a case of diminishing returns after that for future releases. Lindy is still in the music business as a song writer and co-runs house label Good Lucky Recordings.

I’m being absolutely tortured by the Michael Bolton appearances in these TOTP repeats. Here he is again with “How Can We Be Lovers”. I knew he would be coming up and that I’d have to confess my Bolton concert story at some point but I wasn’t planning on having to reference it so many times. Look, it was a long time ago and it wasn’t my idea OK?!

“How Can We Be Lovers” was written by Diane Warren and Desmond Child who between them have also penned the following soft rock ‘classics’:

Cher – “Just Like Jesse James”
Bon Jovi -“You Give Love A Bad Name”
Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On A Prayer”
Aerosmith – “Dude (Looks Like A Lady)”
Aerosmith – I Don’t Want Miss A Thing”
Starship – Nothings’s Gonna Stop Us Now”

Depensing on your tastes, that’s either some track record or a charge list of crimes against music.

In 1991, when I was working at Our Price in the Market Street store in Manchester, Bolton released an album called “Time, Love And Tenderness” (the title track was written by the aforementioned Diane Warren) and the picture of him on the front cover looked remarkably like one of our Assistant Managers called Rob (if you ignored all that hair which Rob didn’t have). I’m guessing it wasn’t the most flattering thing anyone had ever said to him.

“Hold On” by En Vogue is the next song on tonight’s TOTP playlist. This was not only a No 2 hit in the US and a No 5 hit over here but also an award winning track picking up the R&B Single of the Year pot from Billboard and the Best Single by a Duo/Group title from Soul Train. Given those accolades, it’s fair to say that En Vogue very much paved the way for a slew of female R&B groups of the 90s including Brownstone, Jade, Destiny’s Child, SWV and TLC.

I could never really get on board with “Hold On” though. It really wasn’t my scene in 1990 (if indeed I had a scene) but I did go on to appreciate En Vogue more as the decade progressed with songs like “Free Your Mind” and “Whatta Man” expanding my musical horizons. Free your mind indeed.

It’s new No 1 time and as confidently predicted by Simon Mayo on last week’s show, it’s “Killer” by Adamski and Seal. It’s another studio performance and the ballet woman from the other week is back and is still doing her thing in the background. And I thought Howard Jones’s mime artist Jed was annoying!

I saw Seal live in the early 90s at the Manchester Apollo but I can’t recall much about it other than his voice was amazing. I’d forgotten that, following in the footsteps of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, his debut album was on the ZTT label and was produced by Trevor Horn. Apparently there are two versions of the album in circulation. One is a ‘premix’ version and the second and more common is the updated remix. According to Seal, the two versions exist because he and Trevor Horn had very little time to finish the first version (due to needing to get some single releases mixed and out into the market) and also because of never knowing when enough tinkering is enough or as Seal puts it “a bad habit that Trevor and myself share, the inability to let go” (thanks to http://futureloveparadise.co.uk/ for that quote).

Do you get the impression that I’m finding it easier to comment on Seal rather than Adamski?!

Despite the seemingly endless smorgasbord of dance tunes populating the charts in the 90s, there was also room for some hard rockin’ dudes and I don’t mean the established acts like Def Leppard and Whitesnake. No, these were new names that emerged within the new decade. Tearing up the Top 40 with their brand of hard but melodic rock were the likes of Little Angels, The Quireboys, Terrorvision and this lot Thunder who are back on the show with their new single “Backstreet Symphony”. This was the title track from their debut album, an album that would generate five Top 40 singles – not bad going although that statement is tempered by the fact that none of them actually made it into the Top 20. Even so, it was a pretty impressive start. With former Duran Duran guitarist Andy Taylor producing it, the album was certified gold for shifting 100,000 units. However, in a piece on the band on rock journalist Dave Ling’s website, Thunder guitarist Luke Morley says of working with Taylor:

“He’d just say, ‘Do it louder and faster, and I’ll mix the drinks’”

Hmm. A genius at work no doubt.

I didn’t mind this track although I’d preferred their previous single, T-Rex rip off “Dirty Love”. One more thing, why is it that there always seems to be at least one member of these long haired rock bands that stands out by either having a short haircut or actually being bald?

“Backstreet Symphony” (the single) peaked at No 25.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

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Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Kylie Minogue	Better The Devil You Know	No but I think my wife has a Greatest Hits album with it on
2	The Wonder Stuff	Circle Square	Nope
3	Mantronix featuring Wondress	Take Your Time	I could take all day but I won’t change my mind about this – no
4	New Kids On The Block	Cover Girl	Away with your nonsense!
5	Beats International	Won’t Talk About It	No but my wife has their album with a version of it on
6	Michael Bolton	How Can We Be Lovers	NO!
7	En Vogue	Hold On	Nah
8	Adamski	Killer	No but I had the Seal album with his version of it on
9	Thunder	Backstreet Symphony	I did not

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000q5l5/top-of-the-pops-10051990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 03 MAY 1990

Posted on December 11, 2020 by 80stastic

Can you remember a time before the word ‘Brexit’ even existed? A time when the UK wasn’t being torn apart by rival factions concerning our relationship with Europe? A time even when we didn’t always completely fall on our arses when it came to the Eurovision Song Contest? For yes, that time did used to exist when we were routinely amongst the favourites to win the competition before every other country hated us and gave us a paltry points score (or in the case of Jemini in 2003 the dreaded ‘nul points’). As we reach May in these BBC4 1990 TOTP repeats, Eurovision rears its head again and the final in this year took place on the Saturday after this show was broadcast. We had come 2nd in the previous two years and had only finished out of the Top 10 once in the previous decade which also included an actual win in 1981 courtesy of Bucks Fizz and those mini skirts. Fast forward nine years and our entry is from a 15 year old Welsh school girl but more of her later.

For now, we start with ….Simon Mayo’s shorts and knees! What was he thinking?! In recent weeks we’ve had Jakki Brambles in big Winter coats (twice) clearly freezing, Mark Goodier complaining about being too hot whilst being dressed in full jacket, shirt and tie combo and now this! Most off putting. The first act that the be-shorted Mayo introduces is Sinitta with “Hitchin’ A Ride” who adds some more confusion to this issue about the temperature in the TOTP studio. Without wishing to sound like a perv, I can’t help but notice that Sinitta gives the impression it was not that warm in the studio that day (despite Mayo’s choice of outfit) judging by the…well…’stunt nipples’ that she is sporting. What’s that? What about the music? Oh, well..erm…well, this single was taken from her “Wicked” album which was given the Cherry Pop super deluxe re-issue treatment which was well received judging by some of the Amazon customer reviews of it. Check out this one from a very happy fan:

One of the best pure-pop albums of all time, in my opinion. Not one bad track on it. You won’t be disappointed if you buy this!!

Alternatively, we have this via someone who goes by the username of Too Shy:

Please avoid this, its far too cheesy and friends who examine your record collection while you nip up to the bathroom will be gone by the time you return if they find it.

By the way, I didn’t include that review because of the use of the word ‘nip’ in it just to carry on the subject of Sinitta’s chest! I didn’t! I used it as it reminded me of something that a guy called Pete who I used to work with said to me once. Pete was the original bass player in The Stone Roses and a cool as f**k but he did once say this which I found quite remarkable. The scenario he outlined was that if he was to meet the woman of his dreams who was compatible with him in every single way and he would gladly spend the rest of his life with her, if he found a Phil Collins CD in her collection he’d be out of there in a heartbeat and wouldn’t look back. Not sure what his views on Sinitta were though.

“Hitchin’ A Ride” peaked at No 24.

A new track incoming from Soul II Soul with their latest single “A Dream’s a Dream“. The second single from their sophomore album “Vol. II: 1990 – A New Decade”, I wasn’t sure that I knew how this one went until hearing it again but the “I can see, I can see…right through you” refrain does ring a bell. Why are we getting the video and not a studio performance from the band? Well, in a Smash Hits interview in this year, main man Jazzie B made some cryptic comments about the show and the BBC in general that suggested that he wasn’t completely OK with the corporation. When asked if he ever disagrees with his mother, he replied:

“She’ll say things like ‘Why won’t you go on Top Of The Pops‘? I have to show her that it’s badness to explain what you’re dealing with…”

When asked if he would ever be on Top Of The Pops again, he replied:

“I don’t know. Maybe if it weren’t the BBC. I can’t really say. I can’t be damaging my career. It’s existed for many years and has helped many people but it’s for pop star isn’t it?”

Hmm. Something definitely not quite right there I think.

As for “A Dream’s a Dream”, it did a good job of consolidating the band’s success and profile and paving the way for the release of that second album a couple of weeks later by going to No 6 in the charts.

A highlight of the rock year next, well at least that’s what Simon Mayo says in his intro, as we get the new single by Morrissey. I’m not sure that Mozza enjoys such reverence these days on account of him having turned into a right arse but back in 1990, I guess he was still worthy of discussion. One thing you’d have to say about Morrissey is that he did have intriguing song titles. “November Spawned A Monster” certainly fell into that category for me. What was it about? Here’s Moz himself courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

"It's about a person who's confined to a wheelchair, who can't make much sense of her life, and whose only ambition is to walk down the road in clothes she personally went out and chose and bought herself. And that is as far as her ambitions can stretch." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) December 4, 2020

Apparently the song sparked some criticism of Morrissey who was accused of ridiculing the disabled (the titular ‘monster’) but I’m not convinced that was his intention at all.

With Eurovision having been imminent when he gave this performance, I can’t not mention Mozza’s own little footnote in the song contest’s history. Back in 2007, heavy rumours circulated that he was in negotiations with the BBC to be that year’s UK entry. Apparently, he had been appalled that the previous year’s UK act who had finished in 19th place. Sadly, it was never meant to be although Morrissey had been serious about taking part supposedly. And for anyone thinking I’m making all this up…. look, it was even reported on the news…

Some “Dirty Cash (Money Talks)” next courtesy of Adventures Of Stevie V. I haven’t got much more to say about this one other than Stevie V (real name Stephen Vincent) once described the rave experience as

“…it’s like on the telly when you see the Queen coming out onto the balcony and everyone’s cheerin’ and feeling really brilliant. It’s that sort of crack, except with music.”

And there was me wondering in my middle age if I’d missed out by never having attended a rave. As a firm republican, if that’s what it was all about, blow that for a game of soldiers.

“Dirty Cash (Money Talks)” peaked at No 2.

Three Breakers now and we start with En Vogue. Now, whilst no sort of expert, I thought I had a pop quiz passable knowledge of these ladies in that I can name more than one of their singles but having read up about them, they’re like a singing and dancing eight-legged soap opera that I knew nothing about. Their conveyor belt of line up changes makes The Sugababes look like a model of consistency and longevity. Check this out:

Original members are: Terry Ellis, Dawn Robinson, Cindy Herron, and Maxine Jones
1997: Dawn Robinson leaves
2001: Maxine Jones leaves and Amanda Cole joins
2003: Amanda Cole leaves and Rhona Bennett joins
2005: The original members briefly reform before disbanding again
2009: The original members reform again for their “En Vogue: 20th Anniversary” tour
2011: Dawn Robinson and Maxine Jones leave again while Rhona Bennett rejoins

Confused? You will be…we haven’t even got onto the lawsuits yet! When Maxine Jones and Dawn Robinson left the band for the second time in 2011, they joined forces, added a new singer and hatched plans to record and tour under the name Heirs To The Throne. Then Robinson decided to leave before that got off the ground so Jones got in another singer to replace her and went on the road under the name of En Vogue To The Max (see what she did there?). At which point, the inevitable lawsuit was filed by original members Cindy Herron and Terry Ellis (who were still touring as a duo under the name of En Vogue) against Jones for unauthorized use of the band’s name. The judge ruled in Herron and Ellis’s favour. And we thought that the legal fight for the right to own the name Bucks Fizz was a saga!

Anyway, back in happier times, the original line up are here with their debut single “Hold On” which would got to No 5 in the UK and No 2 in the US. Put together by songwriting duo Denzil Foster and Thomas McElroy, they were originally conceived as following in the tradition of some of the celebrated 60s girl groups like The Supremes but without any of the members being the designated star. It was to be a democratic unit in which every member would qualify to take the lead vocals on any given number. Yeah, looking at those multiple line up changes, I’m not sure if that ever worked out.

The return of Billy Idol now who was last seen in the UK Top 40 in 1987. “Cradle Of Love” was the lead single from his “Charmed Life” album and was a massive hit in the US only being kept off the No 1 spot by Mariah Carey. We were less interested back in blighty and the single stumbled to a No 34 peak. I’m not surprised – it sounds completely uninspired to my ears; in fact its sounds like a dodgy rewrite of his 1986 hit “To Be A Lover” – lots of rawk ‘n’ roll growling but very little in the way of a tune.

Never mind what it sounded like though, what the hell was going on in that video?! Well, the song was based around the saying ‘robbing the cradle’ meaning sexual relationships between the individuals where there is a large age gap. The video director obviously took the song’s meaning to heart and came up with a Lolita style plot line. It all looks decidedly creepy viewed in 2020 but back in 1990, TOTP seemed fine with showing it. Billy himself appears in the video only in the background as he had suffered a significant injuries back in February of this year following a motorcycle accident. It didn’t stop him touring to promote the album though against his doctor’s wishes. His injuries curtailed his role in the Oliver Stone The Doors biopic so to make up for this, he released a cover of The Doors “L.A. Woman” as his next single. Nobody was interested in that at all though.

Ah man, it’s Michael Bolton again! Look, I have no intention of reliving my Bolton live concert story every time he’s featured in these TOTP repeats so I’m going to just ignore it. It’s there in all its gory glory in a previous post if you want to read all about it.

“How Can We Be Lovers” was the follow up to his No 3 hit “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You”. Listening back to it now, it sounds like it could be a Rocky theme tune performed by Survivor. Either that or a Belinda Carlisle B-side. At least it had more of a punch to it than its wimpy predecessor but that’s as positive as I can get about it. I was surprised to learn that it had been such a big hit over here (No 10). No doubt Bolton would have performed it when I saw him live three years later and …oh shit! I wasn’t going to go there again was I?!

These songs that I can’t recall at all are coming thick and fast now. BBG (or Big Boss Groove even) anyone? “Snappiness” was their hit but I’ve got nothing about them in the old memory banks at all.

*checks internet*

Not much there either. What I did discover is that “Snappiness” is basically the (featured earlier) Soul II Soul’s track “Happiness” with some added vocals courtesy of singer Dina Taylor. Also I found out that BBG’s main man Tony Newland wasn’t keen on giving any royalties from his hit to Jazzie B although he did admit that Soul II Soul were one of the “best things to happen to British dance music in years”. Oh well, I’m sure some grovelling compliments would have been enough to assuage Jazzie – pay him what you owe him you cheapskate!

“Snappiness” peaked at No 28.

Another airing for “Tattooed Millionaire” by Bruce Dickinson next. Not only is Bruce the lead singer with Iron Maiden, not only is he a qualified commercial pilot, not only is he an international level fencer, he is also a published author! I had no idea until I researched him. He wrote a book called The Adventures Of Lord Iffy Boatrace which was published the same month as this TOTP was broadcast back in 1990. What is it about? Here’s the synopsis from its Amazon listing:

Lord Iffy Boatrace invited some of the Old Boys for a holiday with a difference. But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests – to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.

Ah…erm…well. That sounds erm…f*****g horrible. Judging by its Amazon reviews though, the people that bought it loved it. Dickinson wrote a sequel two years later. Its title? The Missionary Position: the Further Advances of Lord Iffy Boatrace.

Hang on though Bruce. How do you write something like that and then also write a song “Tattooed Millionaire” that supposedly criticises the excesses and bad behaviour of the ‘rock star’ scene? Here’s Bruce himself discussing what the song is about courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

Bruce Dickinson: "'Tattooed millionaire' is a whole area that I just see as a big festering, open sore on the arsehole of mankind, in terms of music. Because the whole vibe about that scene is it's nothing to do with music…" #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) December 4, 2020

"It's nothing to do with being real. It's to do with some bullshit attitude… 'Yeah, we want to ride around in limos. We want to get chicks, man.' I've seen the archetypal tattooed millionaires screwing some 'chick' outside the tour bus, on the sidewalk." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) December 4, 2020

"What's this guy trying to prove? That's not even setting a good example to yourself. It's just garbage – I don't respect that." (Somewhere, Motley Crue's ears are burning…) #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) December 4, 2020

Bruce seems quite conflicted in his values I would suggest. Bruce is also a prominent Brexiteer. I’ll just leave that last sentence there without further comment.

TOTP presenter in correct prediction shocker! After years of Radio 1 DJs pontificating about which record on on the show would go to No 1 and getting it spectacularly wrong, here’s Simon Mayo actually getting one right! Adamski (and not forgetting Seal) will be top of the charts next week with “Killer”. In every TOTP appearance so far though, the presenter has forgotten about Seal and refers just to Adamski in their intro (as Simon Mayo does here). Was it on the insistence of the record label? It seems grossly unfair on reflection. Seal is certainly the visual focus point of the performance while Admaski…well…jigs about a bit whilst twiddling on his keyboards. Maybe he should have gone the Chris Lowe of the Pet Shop Boys route who made standing still an art form.

I’m not sure about the woman in the background either. She looks like she’s limbering up for a ballet class. She should have gone the Tales Of The Unexpected route…

As the camera pans back to Mayo at the end of “Killer”, what the f**k is he doing? Is he trying to replicate the ballet dancer woman’s moves? After giving you credit for a correct chart prediction Simon, I now have to rescind it for that embarrassing display.

Right, onwards and upwards to the No 1 which is still Madonna with “Vogue”. It’s the fourth and final week for her at the top which is a pretty good run. In my head, the parent album “I’m Breathless” didn’t perform so well but on examination of its figures, it did OK. It went to No 2 in the album chart, was certified double platinum for achieving 600,000 sales in the UK and has sold 7 million copies worldwide. However, all of that looks pretty pedestrian when compared to how her next release performed when released at the close of 1990. Her first (and possibly still the best I would argue) greatest hits album “The Immaculate Collection” would go on to sell 31 million copies worldwide making it the best-selling compilation album by a solo artist ever!

Right then, back to where we started from – no not with Sinitta (although she was technically the first act on the show tonight and did release a single called “Right Back Where We Started From”!). No, back to the Eurovision Song Contest of course! Our entry this year was from Emma who performed a song called “Give A Little Love Back To The World”. Mayo is back on the prediction game confidently forecasting a victory for Emma and thereby returning to the familiar TOTP presenter pattern of getting such things completely wrong. Emma would trail in sixth which would be more than respectable in current times but probably seemed a bit disappointing back in 1990. This was her performance that night….

The contest was actually won by Italy whose Toto Cutugno was aged 46 years and 302 days at the time of his victory, making him the oldest winner of the contest to date. He held the record until 2001. This was in stark contrast to Emma who, as Terry Wogan advises in the clip above, was the UK’s youngest ever contestant at the age of 15. Want to hear the winning song? OK then….

When he was announced as the winner, Toto Cutugno splashed water on his face and hair which caused his hair dye to run! Thirty years later, this ‘look’ was replicated by Rudy Guiliani….

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Sinitta	Hitchin’ A Ride	Shittin’ a turd more like – no
2	Soull II Soul	A Dream’s A Dream	Nope
3	Morrissey	November Spawned A Monster	Sorry Mozza – it’s a no
4	Adventures of Stevie V	Dirty Cash (Money Talks)	Not for me thanks
5	En Vogue	Hold On	Nah
6	Billy Idol	Cradle Of Love	No but it’s on his Greatest Hits CD that I own. Gulp!
7	Michael Bolton	How Can We Be Lovers	NO!
8	BBG	Snappiness	Negative
9	Bruce Dickinson	Tattooed Millionaire	And no
10	Adamski	Killer	No but I had the Seal album with his version of it on
11	Madonna	Vogue	Not the single but it’s on my copy of that Immaculate Collection CD
12	Emma	Give A Little Love Back To The World	Of course not

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pz18/top-of-the-pops-03051990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 26 APR 1990

Posted on December 8, 2020 by 80stastic

Welcome to the UK in late April 1990. We’ve just had the poll tax riots, the Strangeways prison revolt and in politics, Labour now have a 23-point lead over the Conservatives in the latest MORI poll – however, it would count for little when the next General Election rolled around in 1992 with the Tories winning a reduced but overall majority. Musically, we are in the grip of dance music and in particular ‘rave’ culture with massive gatherings taking place in fields and warehouses around the country. The 80s and its pop stars seems like a long time ago with the likes of Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran and Culture Club all either defunct, missing in action or struggling to remain relevant. Indeed, the day after this TOTPM aired, The Krays film opened in UK cinemas starring Spandau’s Kemp brothers as the notorious East End gangsters – being pop stars was no longer on their agenda it seemed.

So who were the pop stars of the day who had come in to replace those icons of yesteryear? Let’s find out shall we?….

…for f***’s sake! Well, the opening act tonight are not pop stars at all but Capital FM DJs blurring the divisions between presenters and performers by rebranding themselves as a bona fide chart act…it can only be Pat & Mick who are back with their rendition of “Use It Up And Wear It Out”. Look I know it was all for charity but this was just all levels of wrong. Having tormented us with “Let’s All Chant” in 1988 and “I Haven’t Stopped Dancing Yet” in 1989, they didn’t see fit to leave the whole sorry debacle in the 80s but carried on into the new decade with their version of the old Odyssey hit.

I actually watched this repeat back with my wife which doesn’t usually happen and our reactions were to it were quite the contrast. I was appalled and sat there on the sofa picking massive lumps out of it while she freely admitted that she probably danced to this back in the day! While I guffawed at the atrocious dancing on display not only by Pat & Mick but also by the studio audience members, she said she thought some of the moves on display were pretty good! Whaat?! OK there are a few things to unpack here. Firstly, why were the dancers in the background TOTP audience members and not ‘proper’ dancers in the first place? Was it to create a more realistic party atmosphere? Secondly, what instructions were they given about dance moves by the producers? Just do your own thing but keep it clean? Thirdly, what was the girl on the extreme right of screen on?! Check out her mad, arm waving moves! She’s lost in a world of her own. Even Mick gives her a concerned look at one point. Oh yes, Pat & Mick themselves – why was Mick wearing a suit while Pat was sporting some sort of faux Adam Ant military jacket? Why does Pat jump when he mimes the word ‘shake’? Surely he should …erm…shake at that point? Why has Pat still got that ridiculous mullet hair into the 90s? Why….oh just…why? Why? Why ? WHY?

When I googled Pat & Mick, one of the suggested other questions that people ask was ‘What is the meaning of Pat and Mick?’ Well, I couldn’t agree more – what is the meaning of them? However, when I clicked on the link I discovered that ‘Pat & Mick’ is also Cockney rhyming slang meaning ‘sick’ or ‘out of commission due to being unwell’. Excellent! Couldn’t be more appropriate as having to watch those two berks again has made me feel proper poorly!

“Use It Up And Wear It Out” peaked at No 22 and thankfully was the last of their chart hits.

Having mentioned The Krays film above, we now find a song from another film that was out this year . “Wild Women Do” by Natalie Cole was, of course, on the soundtrack to Pretty Woman which the third highest-grossing film worldwide in 1990. This Disney re-telling of George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts proved irresistible to cinema goers as did its soundtrack which went double platinum in the UK and triple platinum in the US. As well as Natalie’s track, it included the career-rejuvenating hit “King of Wishful Thinking” by Go West, the career-making single “It Must Have Been Love” by Roxette and the career-retrospective remix hit “Fame 90” by David Bowie that featured on a recent TOTP repeat.

Up against those mega-selling hits, “Wild Women Do” kind of got lost in the mix a little. Indeed, it was only a No 34 hit in the US (whilst a slightly more respectable No 16 over here). It’s actually used in the film itself in the scenes where Vivian goes window shopping in Beverly Hills….

It didn’t really register on my radar as something I should be concerned with I have to say although I did catch the film at the cinema. I recall Gere also had another film out simultaneously called Internal Affairs where he played a very different character indeed to his Pretty Woman counterpart. Worth searching out that film in my humble opinion while we’re all stuck in our houses over Xmas.

I have no memory at all of this next act although my wife reckons she remembers them. Unique 3 anyone? Oh hold on, did they also do that “Cantaloop” hit? No, no they didn’t – that was Us3 it seems. Unique 3 were from Bradford and, despite my lack of memory of them, are actually regarded as ground breaking in the field of UK hip-hop by those in the know (not me then obviously). Cited by the likes of The Chemical Brothers, Coldcut and Goldie, “Musical Melody” was their only Top 40 hit but hey were massive on the club scene (it says here) paving the way for the Jungle, Drum & Bass and Nu-Skool Breaks scene (I have no idea what that last one is). It sounds a bit like Dream Warriors of “Wash Your Face In My Sink” and “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” to my uncultured ears both of which I quite liked. Maybe I’m more dope than I realised!

“Musical Melody” peaked at No 29.

Bruno followed Pat Sharp’s lead with a military style look for tonight’s show

Time for some moronic behaviour from tonight’s host Bruno Brookes next as he tries to sound hip by saying “Yo! Unique 3 y’all” whilst perfecting an impression of Napoleon Bonaparte by having one arm inserted inside his jacket. WTF?!

When he finally does get on with introducing the next act, it’s Paula Abdul with her hit “Opposites Attract”. I couldn’t really be doing with this to be honest – the song was pretty unremarkable and then there was the pratting about with that cartoon cat in the video. I can imagine a conversation in the record label boardroom going something like this:

Label exec: “Look, we need to squeeze every last drop of sales out of the album so we’re going for one final, sixth (!) single but how do we market it?”. What’s popular right now?”

Marketing guy: “How about we get Paula to sing and dance with a cartoon rabbit like in that Who Framed Roger Rabbit film?”

Label exec: “Brilliant! Except let’s make it a different animal to ensure we don’y look like we’ve completely ripped off the idea.”

Marketing guy: “How about a ….cat?”

Label exec: “That’ll do”

It all just seemed very cynical to me. Apparently Izzy Stradlin from Guns N’ Roses once wrote a song for Paula. Not sure if she ever recorded it but a video of the wholesome Ms Abdul and rock ‘n roll casualty Izzy would have certainly been worth a watch.

Some Breakers now and we start with All About Eve and “Scarlet”. I’d sort of lost track of this lot by the start of the 90s and must admit this doesn’t sound familiar. It was the third and final single to be taken from sophomore album “Scarlet And Other Stories” and although pleasant enough, doesn’t really stand out from the rest of their folk goth rock twiddlings. The band notched up nine Top 40 hits during their career but curiously, seven of them all peaked somewhere between the Nos 38 and 30. Consistent I suppose though.

Surely nobody remembers this next one – Kid Creole And The Coconuts with “The Sex of It”? What that Kid Creole? The one who had that run of Top 10 hits back in ’82 with songs like “I’m a Wonderful Thing, Baby”, “Stool Pigeon” and “Annie, I’m Not Your Daddy”? It can’t be him? In the Top 40 in 1990? It surely is – let’s be realistic, there can’t have been two acts called Kid Creole And The Coconuts – and this song was written by Prince no less. Apart from the lead vocals being contributed by the Kid himself (August Darnell), everything else recorded on the track was courtesy of Prince and his band. It sounds like it as well. Amazingly, despite their European success, Kid Creole And The Coconuts only appeared in the Billboard Hot 100 chart on one occasion when “Hey Mambo” (with Barry Manilow bizarrely) peaked at No 90.

Someone else still having unlikely hits in to the 90s was Sinitta who was enjoying her penultimate Top 40 appearance with “Hitchin’ A Ride”. Having declined to work with Stock, Aitken and Waterman any further after her 1988 hit “I Don’t Believe In Miracles”, Sinitta embarked upon a run of three consecutive chart hits that were cover versions of songs that had previously been hits in the 70s – “Hitchin’ A Ride” had been a hit for Vanity Fare in 1970 whilst the other two were “Right Back Where We Started From” (Maxine Nightingale in 1975) and “Love On A Mountain Top” (Robert Knight in 1974). Though not exactly edifying stuff (let’s be fair, they were all hideous), she undoubtedly extended her chart life well beyond her natural talents with this strategy.

“Hitchin’ A Ride” peaked at No 24.

Right, what’s Brookes babbling on about now? “Next a real band with a fabulous cult following if it makes sense” he blathers whilst introducing Jesus Jones. Make sense? Not really Bruno but then that was never your strong point was it? He finishes the segue by pronouncing the last ‘real’ of “Real Real Real” with a growl. It looks and sounds odd at best and disturbing at worst.

I’m pretty sure that this is just a reshowing of their initial TOTP appearance from the other week rather than a brand new performance. The band are still together to this day 30 years later and with the original line up which takes some doing. How many other bands have the same line up and that kind of longevity? U2? The Rolling Stones (sort of)? Erm…A-ha?

The curious case of Jesus Jones and their rise and fall is quite the story. Look at these chart placings and then consider what a short space of time this commercial collapse happened within:

Album	Year of release	Chart peak
Liquidiser	1989	31
Doubt	1991	1
Peverse	1993	6
Already	1997	161

What happened? Was it the rise of ‘grunge’? The advent of ‘Britpop’? Or was it just that the music press, who had hailed them as the future of rock ‘n’ roll, turned on them and the whole ‘indie dance’ movement that the band were poster boys for. Check out this quote from the NME in 1993:

“There is something fundamentally wrong with Jesus Jones: they have no sense of the ridiculous. They are loathed by every man, woman and child in Christendom, because they are a plasticine pop group who refuse to accept the fact that they are the stuff of three-minute-flavoured pop sweets. They are The Monkees who want to be Emerson, Lake And Palmer; five Mike Nesmiths.”

Ouch! And anyway, what’s wrong with The Monkees? I love The Monkees!

“Real Real Real” peaked at No 19.

After Jesus Jones have finished, Brookes advises the watching millions that the band are a “wild bunch of fellas with a really dry sense of humour”. Yeah, thanks for that Bruno. As a piece of info worthy of broadcast, it’s about as useful as one of Viz character Roger Irrelevant’s musings and he once eloped with an armchair declaring it pregnant with his children.

Right, who’s next? Well it must be Jason Donovan or New Kids On The Block or someone similar as the TOTP audience are screaming and those yelps of excitement are for…Phil Collins?! Phil f***ing Collins?! Are you kidding me?! That’s a very low bar to instigate such a reaction. “Something Happened On The Way To Heaven” was the third single from Phil’s “…But Seriously” album and was a return to that uptempo faux Motown sound that he was prone to after the heavier sound of the previous two singles “Another Day In Paradise” and ‘I Wish It Would Rain Down”. It does skip and bounce along, I’ll give it that. It’s almost “Sussudio” Part II.

Apparently it was written for inclusion on the soundtrack to the film War Of The Roses but Danny de Vito, who directed and co-starred in the movie, didn’t like it and rejected it. Some excellent taste on display there from Danny. Someone else with good taste is the dog in the video who wanders around the set as Phil and his band rehearse the song and shits on stage near a backing singer and then pisses on the leg of the bassist who looks like cross between Yoffy from Fingerbobs and Gandalf. Someone give that dog a Scooby Snack – he’s earned it!

I once got into a Twitter row with the Absolute 80s radio station about this song when I pulled them up for it actually being released in 1990 rather than the previous decade so why were they playing it. Their retort was that it came from an album recorded and released in the 80s so it was legitimate. Well, all I can say is that it’s a good job they don’t have VAR for decade radio playlists as that is a clear and obvious error!

Yet another song and act I have no recall of next. Tongue ‘N’ Cheek arose from the ashes of Total Contrast (who I also can’t remember) who had a No 17 hit in 1985 with “Takes A Little Time” (Wikipedia tells me). “Tomorrow” was their biggest UK chart record peaking at No 20. They give an energetic performance with that jumping up and down dance move but I’m afraid the song doesn’t really do anything for me.

Apparently they had another hit a year later with a cover of Patrice Rushen’s “Forget Me Nots” but surely if we’re going to reference that song when it comes to 90s chart hits, we’re talking about it being sampled in George Michael’s “Fastlove” or Will Smith’s “Men In Black”. Unfortunately for Tongue ‘N’ Cheek, I’m being absolutely serious about that comment and not…erm…tongue in cheek.

It’s a third week at the top for Madonna and “Vogue”. It turns out that all 16 Hollywood stars name-checked in the song are now sadly dead after the last person still alive, Lauren Bacall, died in 2014. Meanwhile, the video for the song has now recorded 100 million views on YouTube thereby giving Madonna the title of the first female artist in history to have four songs from four different decades reach that milestone. What were the others? Well, they were “La Isla Bonita” from the 80s, “Hung Up” from the 2000s and “Bitch I’m Madonna” from the 2010s.

You can tell I’m struggling to think of anything else to say about this one can’t you?

Hands up who wants to see what a Bruce Dickinson solo career away from Iron Maiden looked like? Right, I can see one hand …from Bruce himself…anyone else? OK, that’s a bit harsh. I hadn’t realised quite what an extensive solo career the Dickster (ooh, went a bit Boris Johnson there) has had. I just thought it was limited to the “Tattooed Millionaire” album project but no. He’s released six studio albums and ten singles as a solo artist! Who knew? Put your hand down again Bruce!

I do remember this one and for my money it was just ever so slightly more melodic than your average Iron Maiden track but as with Phil Collins previously, that’s a pretty low bar. The album includes tracks with some very Iron Maiden sounding names though like “Hell On Wheels”, “Zulu Lulu” and the obligatory Spinal Tap -esque title “Lickin’ the Gun”. It also featured a pretty straight cover of David Bowie’s “All The Young Dudes’ which was of course made famous by Mott The Hoople who had a No 3 hit with it in 1972. Bruce’s version only reached No 23 – well, no point in trying to re-invent the wheel is there?

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Pat & Mick	Use It Up And Wear It Up	What do you think?
2	Natalie Cole	Wild Women Do	Nah
3	Unique 3	Musical Melody	Not for me
4	Paula Abdul	Opposites Attract	I was repelled by this though – no
5	All About Eve	Scarlet	No
6	Kid Creole And The Coconuts	The Sex Of It	Nope
7	Sinitta	Hitchin’ A Ride	Shittin’ a turd more like – no
8	Jesus Jones	Real Real Real	Don’t think I did actually
9	Phil Collins	Something Happened On The Way To Heaven	It’s another no
10	Tongue ‘N’ Cheek	Tomorrow	Negative
11	Madonna	Vogue	Not the single but it’s on my Immaculate Collection CD
12	Bruce Dickinson	Tattooed Millionaire	And no

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pz16/top-of-the-pops-26041990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 19 APR 1990

Posted on December 4, 2020 by 80stastic

I tell you what, having to write about two BBC4 TOTP repeats week in week out is proving to be a relentless schedule to stick to. Fortunately, this particular show only has nine acts as there are no Breakers again this week and six of them have been on before so I might be able to get away with saying not very much about them. Fingers crossed!

It’s Jakki Brambles in the presenters hot seat this week and talking of hot, she does seem to have a constant need to wrap up warm when she’s on. She’s got a black overcoat on this time which she seems to be hugging into herself giving the impression that she’s freezing in the TOTP studio. She did this the last time she was on as well I think. Mark Goodier on the other hand complained about how hot it was when he was the host last time but then he didn’t help himself with a jacket, shirt and tie outfit. Whatever – let’s hope for some ‘hot’ acts on the show tonight….

…not quite what I was hoping for as we start with Sonia and her latest single “Counting Every Minute”. This was the musical equivalent of watching paint dry. I tried staring at the walls once to try and slow down time when I really didn’t want to go back to work – it didn’t help. I should have just listened to Sonia as this garbage seems to go on forever, endlessly filling the silence with its own pop vacuum – counting every minute indeed. When asked in Smash Hits for her take on the state of the charts at this time, she replied that as well as liking all her SAW stablemates like Kylie, Jason and Big Fun, she’d also just bought the Phil Collins album. What was I saying about watching paint dry?!

Another song that we saw just last week now as “I Don’t Love You Anymore” by The Quireboys gets another airing. Apparently, such was the band’s riotous reputation that before their first TOTP appearance (they were actually the very first act on the show in the the 90s), the producers contacted their management to see if the rumours that they would vomit over the cameramen and set fire to Bruno Brookes were true. Of course they weren’t and the only reason their video is being shown instead of the band in person is because they were touring Japan. At least that’s the story Jakki Brambles has been told to tell and she’s sticking to it. “I Don’t Love You Anymore” peaked at No 24.

For all the terrible, terrible records that 1990 has given us so far in these repeats, it has also given us some of the decade’s most seminal and creative works as well. After Sinéad O’Connor and Happy Mondays comes Adamski and Seal with “Killer”. I say ‘and Seal’ but he wasn’t actually credited officially on the record despite his obvious input. It’s seems strange to acknowledge in 2020 given the career that Seal has had in the intervening years but there was a time when the world didn’t have a clue who he was and that time was now. We knew who Adamski was – that odd little DJ bloke who’d had a hit with the dance track “N-R-G” earlier in the year but “Killer” didn’t sound anything like “N-R-G” to my ears. It was almost devastating the first time you heard it. The hypnotic bassline that builds until that voice enters the fray. Given his latter canon of work is very much more of a soulful bent, it was an unusual route into the world of music for Seal – supplying the vocals for an out and out dance tune.

As well as his obvious singing talents, he also supplied the visual focus for the record which I don’t think can be underestimated. With his striking looks – aided by his scars which are the result of an autoimmune skin condition – and his mid length dreads, he cut an imposing figure. Having said all of that, you can’t ignore the power of the actual music. Did I expect it to be a No 1 record? I’m not sure but it was always destined to be a big hit. In the end it was one of two massive records to soundtrack the Summer of 1990 with the other one being “World In Motion” by New Order – I’m disqualifying another No1 record (“Sacrifice” by Elton John) on the grounds that it was crap.

By the end of the year, Seal was a major star in his own right notching up a massive hit in “Crazy” which peaked at No 2. By the time that his debut album came out in June of 1991, he was huge and it topped the album charts. Said record included a re-recorded version of “Killer” which meant he did get his overdue star billing and credit for the song in the end. His version peaked at No 8 and its M. C. Escher themed video won British Video of the Year at the 1992 Brit Awards.

George Michael performed a version of “Killer” at the The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert in 1992 which was included on the “Five Live” EP and took the song back to No 1 in 1993.

It’s The Blues Brothers up again next with “Everybody Needs Somebody To Love”. I really should make the time to watch the film from start to finish one day. Actually, there’s probably a whole load of ‘must see’ films that I’ve yet to get around to watching. Let me see….there’s Das Boot, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Cinema Paradiso and perhaps the biggest crime of all (and very timely) It’s A Wonderful Life! Alright, alright – I know! I’m a film philistine and a terrible person to (das) boot. Still, that’s added a bit to the word count for this post. Is that enough for The Blues Brothers? No? OK, well in 1998, an ill advised sequel came out called Blues Brothers 2000 without, obviously, the sadly departed John Belushi. It received mixed reviews. I’ve never seen that either.

Alannah Myles is on the rise with her single “Black Velvet”. It’s up top No 2 this week which requires not just a re-showing of the promo video but an actual in-the-studio appearance by Alannah herself! Presumably her record company thought that this would give the record that extra push to get it over the line and score her a UK No 1 to add to her Canadian and US chart toppers. Sadly for Alannah the marketing ploy didn’t work and she would remain tantalisingly one place short.

There are a few theories as to what the song is about. It seems pretty obvious to me that it’s about Elvis given the lyrics include lines like:

“Love Me Tender leaves ’em cryin’ in the aisle…Up in Memphis the music’s like a heat wave…”The boy could sing, knew how to move ev’rything”

Writer/s: Christopher Ward, David Tyson
Publisher: Anthem Entertainment, BMG Rights Management, Peermusic Publishing

However, according to some of the comments posted on the Songfacts.com website it could also be about any of the following

Led Zep’s Robert Plant (unlikely)
Cheap Canadian whiskey (possibly)
A woman’s crotch (WTF?!)

However, my favourite post is from one Ashley Jade from Cleveland who just says:

“This song scares me“

Blimey! I hope Ashley never gets to hear any of experimental industrial noise makers Throbbing Gristle’s work – she’ll never sleep again!

Finally a dance record that I remember…though sadly not one that I liked. “Dirty Cash (Money Talks)” by The Adventures of Stevie V was a huge crossover hit being massive in both the clubs and the pop charts where it would peak at No 2. The intriguing sounding act were put together by producer Steve Vincent (the titular Stevie V) and also included Mick Walsh and singer Melody Washington. I seem to recall the press getting very worked up about this record and declaring it ‘hiphouse’ and that the music world would soon be falling at the feet of The Adventures of Stevie V. It didn’t quite work out like that despite Vincent himself stating that he wanted to be “bigger than Salman Rushdie. As big as The Pope”. They had just one more Top 40 hit and Vincent teaches music technology at Bedford College these days.

As for the single itself, it reminded me of “Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But The Rent” by Gwen Guthrie which I hadn’t liked either. The backing dancers in this performance look like they might have been getting some tips from The Blues Brothers when it came to their moves whilst their baggy pants look was clearly inspired by MC Hammer.

Ooh some US rock now but not the AOR stuff that the likes of Heart were peddling but what some critics were calling ‘alternative metal’ at the time – a fusion of alternative rock and heavy metal. Given that genre description, then we can only be talking about Faith No More right? Look, I have to come clean and admit that I don’t really know what I’m talking about here. If I had to describe Faith No More’s sound I’d have maybe gone for ‘funk metal’ but I’m sure that will sound like heresy to their loyal fan base.

I knew of the band via their major label debut single “We Care A Lot” from a couple of years before this but that was the extent of my knowledge. This single, “From Out Of Nowhere” was taken from their third album “The Real Thing” and was actually a re-release after it had completely bombed on its first outing in October 1989. However, after the band breached the Top 40 (albeit in a minor way) with No 37 hit “Epic”, it was re-issued and consolidated their chart success by peaking at No 23. “Epic” itself would be re-released before the year was out and made it a worthwhile exercise by peaking at No 25, twelve places higher than its original chart placing and becoming possibly their best known song.

Actually, scratch that, a lot of UK pop fans will know the band for their pretty straight cover of ‘Easy” by The Commodores which made No 3 early in 1993. Quite why they chose to release a cover of that song I really don’t know nor do I know why music fans felt they needed the Faith No More version in their lives rather than the existing Commodores original but that’s the great British public for you. I recall that the original release of parent album “Angel Dust” didn’t have “Easy” on it but it was re-issued with it added to the track listing hoping to trick some mainstream pop fans into buying a rock record. Too cynical? Unlike Faith No More, I don’t care a lot.

Madonna is still at the top of the charts this week with “Vogue”. The black and white video caused some controversy due to ‘nipple-gate’ when MTV initially refused to air the promo because of the sheer lace blouse Madonna wears at one point through which viewers got a big flash of the Ciccone chest and specifically, if you peered close enough, her nipples. Crikey!

We also got a first view of the iconic ‘cone bra’ in the video which would come to be the lasting image of her 1990 Blond Ambition World Tour. That tour was chronicled in the documentary Madonna: Truth or Dare (known as In Bed with Madonna outside of North America) which spawned the infamous scene below or, in the spirit of ‘nipple-gate’, neat-gate’ if you will…

The play out video is “Ghetto Heaven” by The Family Stand. Apparently Jeffrey in the band could play any musical instrument and at school was so far ahead of the rest of the class that his music teacher would let him go into another room and do his own thing. All of this reminded me of a similar situation in our music lessons at grammar school.

There was a guy called Nick who could play piano whilst the rest of us were complete doughnuts musical ability wise so Nick was allowed to go and practice piano in a side room. What did the rest of us get up to? Well, memorably Paul Dukes managed to convince our frankly wet behind the ears music teacher Mr Wilderspin to play “Friggin’ In The Riggin” by The Sex Pistols as part of musical appreciation! I think we maybe got to the end of the first verse before Wilderspin raced over to the turntable to yank the needle of the record. To be fair to him, even just the first verse was maybe slightly pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable for a bunch of school kids to be listening to in class…

“It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya should’ve seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis”

Songwriters: Stephen Philip Jones

Friggin’ In The Riggin’ lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Sonia	Counting Every Minute	Huge no
2	The Quireboys	I Don’t Love You Anymore	…don’t think I ever did
3	Adamski	Killer	No but I had the Seal album with his version of it on
4	The Blues Brothers	Everbody Needs Somebody To Love	No
5	Alannah Myles	Black Velvet	Nope
6	Adventures of Stevie V	Dirty Cash (Money Talks)	Not for me thanks
7	Faith No More	From Out Of nowhere	I did not
8	Madonna	Vogue	Not the single but it’s on my Immaculate Collection CD
9	The Family Stand	Ghetto Heaven	Nah

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pr1z/top-of-the-pops-19041990

TOTP 12 APR 1990

Posted on December 1, 2020 by 80stastic

It’s nearly Easter already in 1990 where TOTP Rewind currently resides – the day after this TOTP was broadcast was the Good Friday – but the 21 year old me doesn’t have chocolate eggs or bunnies on my mind. No, I’m more concerned with finding a job as I am in my fourth month of unemployment. What’s more, this very day (12th April) is my girlfriend (now wife)’s birthday so I would have needed to get her a present. I seem to recall that I decided for some reason that a brass ornament of a vintage style camera (one of those ones where the photographer ducked underneath a black cloth covering to take the picture) would be just the sort of thing she would like. I saw it in a shop that specialised in that sort of knick-knacker but in truth, she would rather have had my original idea which was a VHS tape of The Beatles Help! film. She really wasn’t taken by the brass camera and I’d even haggled about the price with the shop owner to get it for her! Oh well, let’s see what tunes that the charts had to offer that week – there’d better be some good stuff in stock!

Not a bad start at all! In my head, Jesus Jones didn’t appear on the charts until much later in the year but I’m clearly getting my facts skewed as here they are in mid April with “Real Real Real” which was their first Top 40 hit peaking at No 19. Very much seen as being part of that indie /dance crossover movement, they were one of the first (alongside Happy Mondays simultaneously) to make the big commercial breakthrough and opened a gate to chartdom that acts such as EMF, The Shamen and Pop Will Eat Itself would also stride through.

I think I may have heard of Jesus Jones previous to this via their nearly hit “Info Freako” from the year before but I didn’t know much about them. By the start of 1991 however, they would be genuine chart stars and the future of rock ‘n’ roll according to some. When I did my first Xmas working at Our Price in 1990 there were two albums that we were asked for all the time that hadn’t even been released yet. One was The Farm’s “Spartacus” and the other was “Doubt” by Jesus Jones. I think they were delayed possibly to heighten the clamour for them to fever pitch and when they were finally released within a month of each other in 1991, they both reached no 1 in the album chart.

I always get a bit confused about Jesus Jones’s timeline in terms of their hits, possibly because they racked up a few in quick succession over the course of a year or so. After “Real Real Real”, they scored another four Top 40 hits including “Right Here, Right Now” being released twice and peaking at No 31 on both occasions. I hadn’t realised until now that the band had also briefly been a very big deal in the US with “Real Real Real” going to No 4 over there whilst “Right Here, Right Now” peaked at No 2. I had always assumed they were a peculiarly British phenomenon.

The band are still together having gigged throughout the years when they were being referred to as residing in the “Where are They Now” files. Indeed, I recall them receiving some very derogatory press about resorting to playing corporate gigs as the entertainment for big conglomerate firm events although I’m guessing such gigs probably pay pretty well.

Like Gloria Estefan, Janet Jackson has always seemed to me to be capable of only two types of song. The big, lush soul ballad like “Let’s Wait A While” and “Come Back To Me” and the uptempo R’n’B dance tune like “What Have You Done for Me Lately” and “Miss You Much”. Completely unfair I’m sure but it’s my blog and that’s my opinion when I think of her (see what I did there? No? Oh forget it!).

“Escapade” was very much in the latter category and was one of seven (!) singles taken from her “Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814” album. As with all the other videos for her uptempo songs, it’s all about the choreographed dance routines. Whilst undoubtedly impressive as a spectacle, it always seems to me as if the tracks are written with a routine in mind rather than for any musical reasons. Yet again, this was a Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis production and they came up with the name “Escapade” as it was one of many potential song title ideas that they kept in a little notebook which sounds overly cynical and not very organic at all to me. Aside from Jam and Lewis, the track also features ‘finger snaps’ contributed by former New Edition member Johnny Gill. Finger snaps?! If you’re going to get an official credit for that, I should maybe have bigged up my triangle playing in my Junior school concert back in the day!

“Escapade” peaked at No 17 in the UK but was a No 1 song in the US.

“It’s hot in here” informs this week’s host Mark Goodier referring to the temperature in the studio – so why are you wearing a jacket, shirt and tie then Mark? I’m sure you’ve done enough shows by this point to be able to make informed wardrobe decisions surely?!

OK, the next act is Technotronic. When I was putting this post together, my wife (she of the unwanted birthday present!) remarked, “God, you haven’t got to review this have you?” referring to “This Beat Is Technotronic”. Yes, I’m afraid so. This was the third single from their “Pump Up the Jam: The Album” erm…album and saw someone called MC Eric take the mike while previously used vocalist Ya Kid K took a rest. It still sounded the same as all the rest to me though apart from perhaps even more annoying and repetitive if that were possible.

Apparently the two dancers up there on stage with him are his old school mates called Gary and julian who he plucked from being on the dole in Cardiff to come and be in Technotronic with him. If any of my old school pals are reading this, fancy joining me for another go at perfecting the triangle?

“This Beat Is Technotronic” peaked at No 14.

“It’s the way they move that makes you want to groove” remarks Goodier at the end of Technotronic’s turn in one of the cringiest segue ways ever which leads us into “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart. Again. Really? I think this is the third time this has been on the show in recent weeks. Look, I’ve talked about the ridiculous lyrics, I’ve commented on the nasty video…what else is there left for me to say about it?

Well, it was taken from an album called “Brigade” that managed to rise all the way to No 3 in our charts but the band would only achieve chart action one more time in this country when their 1993 single “Will You Be There (In the Morning)” made No 19 from the album “Desire Walks On’ which was also their last long player to make any impression on the Top 40. There. Now please go away.

The Breakers are back after being missing in action for the last two shows and we start with David Bowie and “Fame 90”. So why was a 15 year old Bowie track being released again? It was all part of the promotion for his “Changesbowie” retrospective album that was released in March of this year which included all his biggest hits from 1969’s “Space Oddity” to 1984’s “Blue Jean”. I remember the album being a staple of the ‘Core Stock’ / ‘Best Seller’ section when I first worked for Our Price which were titles that you should never sell out of (although I’m sure we did of course).

Bowie was also embarking on a career spanning greatest hits world tour called the Sound+Vision Tour in support of the album. In what was seen at the time as quite ground breaking, fans were asked to vote for which songs should be included in the set list by phoning a number to log their votes with proceeds from the calls going to charity. In a world where telephone voting for everything from The Eurovision Song Contest to Strictly COme Dancing is second nature to us all today, this seemed like a revolutionary idea back in 1990. I’m sure there was some sort of counter campaign to rig the vote by encouraging people to vote for “The Laughing Gnome” thereby forcing Bowie to have to perform it live but I think he twigged what was going on before committing to the idea.

The video for “Fame 90” featured clips of previous Bowie promos alongside the man himself throwing some shapes with a blonde female dancer which supports the idea of the Changesbowie retrospective but seems a little short of inspiration to me.

“Fame 90” peaked at No 28, 11 places lower than its original 1975 release.

The scouse Kylie next as Sonia is back with “Counting Every Minute”. This was the fourth of five tracks released as singles from her debut album “Everybody Knows” with each one making the Top 20, a feat that made Sonia the first ever British solo female artist to achieve this. Quite how she managed to do this remains a mystery though. “Counting Every Minute” in particular is especially weak. I’ve had dumps with more substance to them.

The video is as half-hearted as the song. Just Sonia and some backing dancers going through the motions in front of a clock face back drop. How long did the video director take to come up with that concept?! You can almost hear him saying “Right then Sonia. Just smile and do that rolling shoulders move you do and we’ll fill in the rest afterwards in post production. No, don’t worry – it’ll look great. Promise. ACTION!”

Right, so quite why was “Everybody Needs Somebody To Love’ by The Blues Brothers in the charts? It seems to be because the film of the same name was re-released on VHS for its 10th anniversary by MCA/Universal Home Video. The movie has garnered cult status over the years – the movie poster was a mainstay of student room walls when I was one of at Sunderland Poly back in the 80s. However, I was surprised to discover that it was also a sizeable commercial success. It was the 10th biggest film in the US in the year of its cinema release (1980) and is the ninth-highest-grossing musical of all time.

Where The Monkees had gone before and The Commitments would follow, the film spawned a real life band who toured in support of the movie. Its celluloid stars John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd retained their roles as front men / brothers Jake and Elwood with a supporting band of established musicians from the likes of Blood, Sweat & Tears and Booker T and the M. G.’s. The whole thing had started out as a sketch on legendary US TV entertainment show Saturday Night Live and spiralled once a film based on the characters was proposed. Here’s a 1978 clip from SNL showcasing the Blues Brothers:

Despite its legendary status and the stars it made of Belusihi and Ackroyd (thanks in part to those amazing dance steps of theirs), The Blues Brothers isn’t what I will forever associate the latter with – in fact I don’t think I’ve even seem the film from start to finish. No, I will always think of my time at Sunderland Poly where I spent three years being called Dan due to my resemblance to Ackroyd at the time.

Some more bpm nonsense now as we see Bizz Nizz and their hit “Don’t Miss The Party Line”. The phrase ‘party line’ is not associated with some crappy dance tune for many people who grew up in Hull in the 70s and 80s (of whom my wife was one). No, it referred to the type of telephone service you had and in the case of a ‘party line’, it was a local telephone loop circuit that was shared by more than one subscriber. Yes kids, this meant that there was no privacy on a party line! If you were chatting with a friend, anyone on your party line could pick up their telephone and listen in! Unbelievable! Think you’ve go a problem because you want to upgrade your phone and you’re still under contract for your existing phone? Try dealing with someone listening in while you’re exchanging tales of drunken exploits with your bestie! Or, heaven forbid, on a booty call!

What? The Bizz Nizz record? Oh, that was shit as well.

Despite all the fuss over Paula Abdul in the US (four No 1 singles and a No 1 album). reaction to her in the UK had been more muted. Yes, “Straight Up” had been a Top 3 single for her over here but that was 12 months back and her only chart entry since then had been the No 24 hit “Forever Your Girl”. What was needed was a gimmick to reinstate our attention – how about her duetting with an animated cat? Purrfect! (sorry). “Opposites Attract” would become her biggest ever UK hit charging all the way to No 2 and is probably her best known song.

So this cat business? What the f**k was that all about?! Well, there had been a big reaction to the Who Framed Roger Rabbit film at the end of the 80s with its live action / animation mash up so maybe that was an influence. The cartoon cat in question was MC Skat Cat who was voiced by a duo called The Wild Pair who get the official credit on the record as the collaborators. The guy who wrote the song, Oliver Leiber (son of legendary songwriter Jerry Leiber), came up with the title after browsing a second-hand bookstore after his car broke down and he had four hours to kill. He wrote down titles of a number of pulp fiction novels like A Bloody Moon or Midnight Mistress but the one he plumped for was Opposites Attract. Hang on, didn’t we see this method of songwriting earlier with Janet Jackson’s “Escapade”? Is that all it took to come up with a song title? What have i got on my book shelves I could use to inspire me as a song writer? Hmm. Chelsea: 100 Memorable Matches is probably a little niche in all honesty.

Back to Paula though and the song is basically a play on the Gershwin tune “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” made popular by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. It all seemed very calculated and lacking in any authenticity to me and I couldn’t really be doing with it at all.

Ah, good to see that The Cure were still ploughing their own particular furrow into the new decade. “Pictures Of You” wasn’t a new song as such though as it was the fourth single to be released from their “Disintegration” album and was very much immediately recognisable as a Cure song. Doomy? Sure. Dark? Yep. Quality tune? Undoubtedly. I’ve always admired the way Robert Smith has never given a shit about following trends or chasing the zeitgeist, an attitude perfectly summed up by this clip of him at the ceremony where the band were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2019…

“Pictures of You” peaked at No 24 and was voted No 278 on Rolling Stone magazine’s “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time” list in 2011.

So it took just two weeks for Madonna to hit the top spot once again with “Vogue”. I saw some online opinion criticising the lyrics of the song last week, specifically the name call section in the song’s bridge where Madonna references sixteen Hollywood stars from the 1920s to the 1950s. It seemed to be all about the ‘Harlow Jean’ line in that her name was reversed to shoe horn it into the lyrics to make a rhyming space for the following line ‘picture of a beauty queen’. I’m not sure that I agree with the negative opinions to be honest. After all, there is a precedent for this type of wordsmithery. Here’s the opening lines of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”:

“It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin”

His tonic and gin?! Have you ever gone into a bar and asked for a tonic and gin as opposed to a gin and tonic? Well, if it’s good enough for Billy…Madonna could have avoided all of this if she used Norma Jeane as in Marilyn Monroe instead of Harlow Jean but she’d already used Monroe in a previous line to rhyme with DiMaggio. Oh I give up!

After two fast hits in “Seven o’Clock” and “Hey You” came the inevitable ballad from The Quireboys in “I Don’t Love You Anymore”. I’m not sure that I remember this one. Let me have a listen…

Hmm. Pretty nondescript stuff really. Reminds me a bit of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” by Poison. I can imagine it got lighters waving in the audience when they performed it live but it’s got as much longevity as lighter fuel.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Jesus Jones	Real Real Real	Don’t think I did actually
2	Janet Jackson	Escapade	Nah
3	Technotronic	This Beat Is Technotronic	No, this beat is metronomic and dull
4	Heart	All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You	It’s a no from me
5	David Bowie	Fame 90	Not the 90 remix single but I’m sure my wife must have the original somewhere
6	Sonia	Counting Every Minute	Huge no
7	The Blues Brothers	Everbody Needs Somebody To Love	Nope
8	Bizz Nizz	Don’t Miss The Party Line	Miss it? I gave it a massive wide berth!
9	Paula Abdul	Opposites Attract	I was repelled by this though – no
10	The Cure	Pictures Of You	No
11	Madonna	Vogue	Not the single but it’s on my Immaculate Collection CD
12	The Quireboys	I Don’t Love You Anymore	…don’t think I ever did

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pr1x/top-of-the-pops-12041990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 05 APR 1990

Posted on November 26, 2020 by 80stastic

In the world of TOTP Rewind, it’s 1990 and the month of March is now behind us as we enter into April and unlike in the case of poor Julius Caesar, nobody had murder committed against them on the Ides of March…unless you count Jive Bunny committing musical murder of the charts by scoring yet another massive hit single in that month.

After weeks of such shite, this particular show starts off almost unbelievably with two of the biggest songs of the year and possibly the decade. Having seen the ‘Madchester’ movement emerge at the end of 1989, its annus mirabilis is now in full swing. After Inspiral Carpets the other week, here comes another of the baggy triumvirate with their biggest and most widely known hit – it can only be Happy Mondays and “Step On”. So much has already been written about and indeed so much is already known about this track that I don’t know where to begin really.

OK, so the basics. We now all know that “Step On” is a cover version (sort of) – the original version of the song was called “He’s Gonna Step On You Again” by South African singer and songwriter John Kongos and was retitled “Step On” by the Mondays who turned it into a baggy dance anthem. Did I know this at the time? No, of course not. What I also didn’t know until now is that the band only recorded it to keep their US label Elektra happy. They wanted their roster of artists to contribute a cover version for a compilation album called “Rubáiyát” to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the label*. The idea of the album was to have present-day Elektra artists cover songs from the label’s historical catalogue of recordings. Factory boss Tony Wilson had to convince the Mondays to do it as their initial reaction to the idea was ‘nah – fuck that!’ (probably) and so they bashed out “Step On”.

However, once they’d finished recording it, they liked the results so much they decided to keep “Step On’ for a UK single release and gave Elektra their version of another John Kongos song “Tokoloshe Man”. And the results of their efforts on “Step On” were remarkable. From the rush of that initial Italo House keyboard flourish to that relentless irresistible groove allied with Shaun Ryder’s idiosyncratic delivery of the lyrics, it was mesmerising. Ah yes, those lyrics. The Mondays version actually sticks pretty closely to the originals with two obvious exceptions / insertions. The phrase “You’re twistin’ my melon man, you know you talk so hip man, you’re twistin’ my melon man” was lifted by Shaun from a documentary called Steve McQueen: Man On The Edge that he had seen. Here’s @TOTPFacts with the inspiring clip:

The phrase "You're twisting my melon, man” came from Steve McQueen: Man On The Edge, a 1990 documentary that Shaun Ryder had seen: https://t.co/ShyjuITT8s #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) November 20, 2020

I had no idea about any of this until I caught the documentary when it was screened on TV years later and had a light bulb moment. I distinctly remember thinking “Hang on, did he just say ‘Your’e twisting my melon man’…but…but…that’s the lyric from ‘Step On’…Ohhhhhh”.

Then of course there is the now legendary “Call The Cops” line that Shaun added to the song’s opening. I’m not sure of the origin of this line but if we were in any doubt as to the longevity of it and indeed ‘Twistin’ My Melon’ in 2020, then check this out….

HAPPY MONDAYS FACE MASKS!!! 😷😷😷

‘Call the Cops’ & ‘You’re Twisting my Melon Man’ designs available now!!

Order yours from the online store: https://t.co/qGfdtJZzn6 #HappyMondays #FaceMask #Mask #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/MzDKGzD9ek
— Happy Mondays (@Happy_Mondays) July 28, 2020

Nothing says 2020 more than face mask. Back in 1990 though and this song seemed to be everywhere. I even recall it infiltrating into the world of Coronation Street when Steve and Andy MacDonald set up an illegal pirate radio station and play it as the first song on their show.

“Step On” peaked at No 5 and would be the forerunner of their iconic “Pills ‘n’ Thrills And Bellyaches” album.

* Ever wondered what else was on that Elektra 40th anniversary album? How about The Cure doing “Hello I Love You” by The Doors? No? OK, Tracy Chapman covering “House Of The Rising Sun” by The Animals? Still no? Right, here’s one you can’t resist surely? “Hotel California” by The Eagles as performed by The Gipsy Kings…come on!

After taking a sabbatical in 1988, Madonna retuned the following year to conquer the pop charts all over again with her mega successful “Like A Prayer” album. In 1990, she diversified with one foot in the pop world and the other in the movies. After the relative success of her role in Desperately Seeking Susan came the howling flops that were Shanghai Surprise and Who’s That Girl but that didn’t stop Madge securing the role of Breathless Mahoney in the Dick Tracy project starring Warren Beattie in the title role. I recall there was a similar buzz for this flick as there had been for Tim Burton’s Batman the year before and so dutifully trotted off to the cinema to see it when it hit these shores in July. I cannot recall one thing about it and have never seen it since. Indeed, has it ever being shown on terrestrial TV? I guess it must have been at some point? Anyway, Madonna and Beattie famously got it on off camera as well and were a Hollywood super couple for a while.

Meanwhile, Madonna was also plate spinning with her musical career and managed to, rather tenuously and in a ham-fisted manner I would suggest, merge Dick Tracy together with her latest album. “I’m Breathless: Music From And Inspired By The Film Dick Tracy” – see even the title of it reeks of shoe horning the two worlds into each other – included three songs written by Stephen Sondheim and sung by Madonna which were used in the film with the rest being made up of Madge originals that were ‘inspired by’ but not included in the film. Just to add to the confusion there were two other soundtrack albums released in conjunction with the film – one which included diverse artists from K.D.Lang and Erasure to Brenda Lee and Jerry Lee Lewis (but not Madonna) performing songs in the style of the music of the 1930s, the era in which the film is set. There was also Danny Elfman’s orchestral score.

The first single to be released from “I’m Breathless” was “Vogue” which had nothing whatsoever to do with the film. Nowt. Nada. Nothing. That said, it was also a brilliant pop/dance crossover track that had the added (and crucial) gimmick of the ‘vogue’ dance craze. With the promotion of Madonna behind it, suddenly the whole world was ‘vogue’ crazy it seemed. How had we all managed before we knew to throw our hands around our faces before framing them in a snapshot pose? Supposedly Madonna had first come across the craze at The Sound Factory nightclub in New York where it was popular amongst its gay clientele. A quick phone call to her producer Shep Pettibone later and plans were afoot for “Vogue” to be unleashed on the world.

The song would become the world’s best-selling single of 1990, selling over six million copies and will be at No 1 in the UK soon enough.

From all conquering pop to quirky, indie goofiness as we catch up with They Might Be Giants and their surprise hit single “Birdhouse In Your Soul”. The amount of online discussion about the meaning of this song is staggering. Reams of comments and posts from would be interpreters of the band’s intentions in writing it, spewing forth theories about Greek mythology (the Jason and the Argonauts reference), religious metaphors (it’s all about God really) and teenage geeks trying to establish their own identities. The band have refuted these theories saying it’s just a song about a night light – nothing else. My theory is that if so many people have been intrigued about the song and continue to be 30 years on then they must have been doing something right. Oh, and that it’s a great tune.

And guess what? By curious happenstance, They Might Be Giants were also on the aforementioned Elektra label and therefore also appeared on the “Rubáiyát” 40th anniversary compilation album. This track by US protest singer Phil Ochs is the cover they submitted for it…

By my reckoning this is the third TOTP appearance for “Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children” by Queen Latifah and De La Soul – not bad going for a single that peaked at No 14. And it’s third time lucky for Queen Latifah’s name not being fluffed by the TOTP presenter. After both Gary Davies and Nicky Campbell proved themselves not up to the job, it fell to Anthea Turner to prove that, whatever else you said about her, at least she could pronounce a three syllable name correctly. Well done Anthea!

As with Madonna earlier, Queen Latifah has successfully juggled a career in both music and film for three decades now and at one point was so famous that she even had her own chat show. I found this almost unbelievable clip from it….

Dolly may be the queen of country, have her own theme park, inspired countless children to read with her literacy programme and now, it transpires, has donated huge amounts of money to help fund the research that produced the Moderna’s vaccine to combat the COVID-19 pandemic. However, there is one thing she cannot do and that is rap.

Eurovision Song Contest time again next and the 1990 UK entry came from Emma with a little ditty called “Give A Little Love Back To The World”. After consecutive second place finishes in the previous two contests, hopes must have been high that the UK could go one step further (ooh nice Bardo reference!) this time around and the responsibility for this fell onto the shoulders of Emma Booth who, at an Adrian Mole style 15 and a two thirds, was the youngest ever singer to have represented the UK in the contest. Emma was from Wales and sang a song written by one Paul Curtis. Well, Mr Curtis, hang your head in shame because it is an abomination. Look at these hackneyed, junior school lyrics with an environmental theme…

We’ve come so far on this great planet
We should be proud of all the great things we’ve achieved
But in our search for life’s great knowledge
We go on takin’ out and never plant new seeds

We’ve got to stop, think of tomorrow
One day our children may have nothing left to share
Let’s do it now, then in the future
They will look back at us with pride and know we cared

Holy ozone layer! Poor Emma didn’t stand a chance having to sing such limp words. Almost set up to fail. And fail she did trailing in 6th. Too harsh? OK, she did the best with what she had and managed a creditable 6th place finish. Quite why the UK entry organisers felt she needed a single name performer identity Madonna style though, I’m not sure.

I remember this year’s contest as my girlfriend was visiting me at my parents home and being skint we stayed in on the Saturday night and watched it with my Mum and sister. As the votes came in and it became obvious Emma wasn’t going to win, they became increasingly more patriotic (dare I say jingoistic even?) and it all made for a very uncomfortable night’s viewing.

As for Emma, at least she had the satisfaction that her single was the first UK Eurovision entry to make the Top 40 (peaking at No 33) since Belle and the Devotions with “Love Games” back in 1984. “Love Games” was also written by Paul Curtis who tried his luck again the following year when he wrote “A Message To Your Heart” for our entry, a pre-Eastenders Samantha Janus. It came in 10th. Welsh female singers continued to fly the UK Eurovision flag a couple of times more with Jessica Garlick (ex-Pop Idol) in 2002 and the gravelly voiced Bonnie Tyler in 2013.

UB40 are back in the charts and its with another cover version (of course it is). “Kingston Town” was originally by Trinidad and Tobago reggae star Lord Creator but the Brummie lads recorded their own version for their “Labour Of Love II” album. Despite the album going three times platinum in the UK, the singles released from it didn’t perform that well with the exception of lead single “Homely Girl” and this one, both of which went Top 10. The other four singles taken from the album did hardly anything at all.

“Kingston Town” did very little for me I’m afraid. It all sounded a bit twee to my reggae-layperson ears. My abiding memory of this song though is that of my future mother-in-law who remarked upon hearing it played on local radio, when I was visiting my girlfriend (now wife) in Hull, whether the man on the radio was singing about Hull. That would be Kingston-Upon-Hull to give the city its full title.

“Kingston Town” peaked at No 4.

Next, a solid gold Pointless answer if you find yourself on the quiz show and are asked to name any Jason Donovan Top 40 single. “Hang On to Your Love” anyone? No, me neither. This was the second single from his “Between The Lines” album and although it was another sizeable Top 10 hit peaking at No 8, it was clear that Jason’s sheen of invincibility was starting to wane. How so? The evidence m’lud:

His previous five singles had peaked at the following chart positions:

1 – 1 – 1 – 2 – 2

No 8 just wasn’t cutting it. Worse was to follow when his next four single releases peaked at:

18 – 9 – 22 – 17

There was one final hurrah when his version of “Any Dream Will Do” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in which he was starring hit No 1 but it was pretty much gave over after that. So badly had his popularity dipped that his third album release was a Greatest Hits compilation. His third album! What happened to our Jase then? It may have been self inflicted. Apparently he felt that he was too over exposed and that his face was everywhere and that he wanted to dip out of the limelight for a while. Bit like that other SAW poster boy Rick Astley then? Yeah, maybe except that in a Smash Hits interview around the time of “Hang On to Your Love” he was asked:

“Do you fear failure? You were on 37 TV programmes over Christmas…”

His answer was:

“It’s called promoting your record!”

Hmm, can’t have it both ways Jase.

“Hang On to Your Love” was diabolically awful by the way, just so you know where I stand.

Snap! are still No 1 with “The Power”. The genesis of the track involved a New Jersey hip hop artist called Chill Rob G and a fair amount of skullduggery. In 1989, Mr G (or Chill if you prefer) released a track called “Let the Words Flow” an a cappella version of which was illegally sampled by Snap!’s producers for inclusion on “The Power”. Snap’s rapper Turbo B added a few lines of his own including “I will attack” and in an epic show of shithousery the “copywritten lyrics so they can’t be stolen” line. Not to be outdone, Chill Rob G released his own version of “The Power” in America but it got completely outperformed by Snap!’s version due to the much bigger promotional resources of their record company Arista compared to Mr G’s small label Wild Pitch.

Supposedly Chill Rob G never got paid for the use of his source material in Snap!’s huge worldwide hit although some online commentators suggest he got a handsome out of court settlement. Whatever the truth of the matter, here’s Chill Rob G’s version which I think I actually prefer…

The play out video is “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles. This slinky country rock song would go to No 1 in the US where it has racked up over four million radio plays and No 2 in the UK. It sold over a million copies in Myles’ home country of Canada and her LP was the fastest ever selling debut album in Canadian history. Given all of that, you would think that Alannah was set up for life. You’d be wrong as, echoing Chill Rob G’s experience above, she got shafted by her record company who got her to sign a crappy contract which meant that she had to pay $7 million in expenditures for her first three albums and she didn’t get her first ever royalty check for “Black Velvet” until 2008!

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Happy Mondays	Step On	Not the single but I have the album Pills ‘n’ Thrills and Bellyaches it comes from
2	Madonna	Vogue	Not the single but it’s on my Immaculate Collection CD
3	They Might Be Giants	Birdhouse In Your Soul	Not the single but it’s on a Q – The Album compilation LP that I bought
4	Queen Latifah and De La Soul	Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children	No
5	Emma	Give A Little Love Back To The World	Of course not
6	UB40	Kingston Town	Nah
7	Jason Donovan	Hang On To Your Love	I’d rather hang on to my dignity – big no
8	Snap!	The Power	Not for me thanks
9	Alannah Myles	Black Velvet	Nope

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pjdq/top-of-the-pops-05041990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 29 MAR 1990

Posted on November 24, 2020 by 80stastic

Welcome to Britain 1990. The furore about the hated Poll Tax is about to erupt when 393 people get arrested after violence broke out at a 200,000 strong protest in Trafalgar Square. These events happened two days after this TOTP aired and the day after that, the Strangeways Prison riot in Manchester began and would last 25 days as prisoners protested against conditions there. It’s pretty grim stuff. Meanwhile in TOTP land, the increasingly unlikeable Nicky Campbell is in the chair for this particular show and he seems to have gone to town on the hairspray to ensure his bouffant hair remains in place for the whole 30 minutes.

Guess what we open tonight with? Yep, another unremarkable dance tune. This one is by Bizz Nizz and is called “Don’t Miss The Partyline” which I barely remember at all. Turns out they were Belgian and this annoying track was their only UK hit. It’s based round an annoying keyboard riff that allied to some rudimentary rapping reeled in enough record buyers to send it all the way to No 7 for some reason. The keyboard riff is a double whammy of irritation for both sounding like an early ringtone and being mimed in this performance on a keytar! If we thought this was the pinnacle of annoying that these pillocks could create then look out as Bizz Nizz shout ‘hold my beer’ and return in a couple of years having put together that well known antidote to quality music known as 2 Unlimited. For shame!

From an infernal racket to some excruciating lyrics next as the video for Heart‘s “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” gets an airing for a second consecutive week. I’ve already dissected said lyrics in a previous post so let’s have a look at the video this time. Surely it can’t be as bad as those song words? Well, it’s basically a literal retelling of the song’s plot interspersed with footage of the band miming in a studio setting with the obligatory power lighting and smoke. It was directed by Andy Morahan and Mike Southon. Here’s the latter from his own website on the making of the video :

“The record company were worried about Ann Wilson’s weight. They suggested she wore black, that I’d photograph her against black and just light her face with a spotlight. I said that that would look ridiculous and that such a powerful singer and performer did not need trickery to sell her image. In the end they relented and let Andy and I do it our way.”

As misogynistic as their stance was, it seems to me that the record company still managed to get their way in the end as the promo is very heavily edited so that singer Ann Wilson doesn’t actually get much screen time at all. She is only shown for the waist up and there seems to be much more focus on her sister Nancy. Even when she is on screen, the camera only stays on her for a couple of seconds at a time. Southon still seems pleased with how it turned out though:

“It’s a pretty classic vid of its genre. Rain, downtown LA cheap motel, smoke, beams of light, beautiful couple making love. What’s not to like?”

Hmm. Give me the much pilloried “Rio” video anytime over your effort Mr. Southon. “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” peaked at No 8 in our charts and No 2 in the US.

Back in the studio, the increasingly snidey Nicky Campbell advises us “Here’s what we’re all going to be wearing this Summer – well you maybe – dig those flares…”. You can just tell that he desperately wanted to add the word ‘plebs’ after ‘you’ and before ‘maybe’ in his intro. And who were the flares wearing act up next? Candy Flip of course with their danced up version of “Strawberry Fields Forever”.

Apart from the obvious flares that Campbell was referring to, what else was this new strand of fashion that we would all be wearing? Well, look I’ve never been any sort of fashionista but even I know something of the baggy style that the ‘Madchester’ era ushered in. Alongside the flares there were brightly coloured or tie-dye casual tops (probably bought from Joe Bloggs) and possibly a bucket hat to top the look off as per The Stone Roses drummer Reni. Is this what those Candy Flip boys are wearing here? Sort of although it’s hard to see quite how wide their flares are because of all the dry ice. They do have their own version of Bez on maracas behind them though. We’ll get to see the real thing on these repeats soon enough.

As for the actual record, it seems remarkably dull and lifeless to me listening back to it now and I can’t quite see what all the fuss was about.

“Strawberry Fields Forever” peaked at No 3. and was the band’s only UK hit.

Ah now then. Here’s the real deal. After the faux bagginess of Candy Flip come a bona fide ‘Madchester’ band. Inspiral Carpets are back on TOTP for a second time with their hit single “This Is How It Feels” but…hang on a minute…. apart from singer Tom Hingley’s ridiculously oversized red duffle coat complete with toggles, the rest of them look pretty nondescript; not even one ‘Cool As F**k’ T-shirt on view anywhere!

Ah yes, those T-shirts. A few month on from this I relocated to Manchester and you could hardly move down Market Street for youths in Inspiral Carpets T-Shirts with the cow logo on them. In an innovative marketing campaign, their record label arranged for a quarter of a million milk bottles in the Manchester area to be emblazoned with an advertisement for their album “Life”. Despite those initial numbers, they’re pretty rare these days but you can still pick one up online for around £30 if you are so inclined. Moo!

The band revisited the milk bottle campaign
for the promotion of their 2003 Greatest Hits album

Now supposedly when the band travelled down to London on the train for this TOTP appearance, they sat opposite some girls from Manchester who were also going to the TOTP recording to be a part of the studio audience. Crushingly for the band, the girls didn’t recognise that their fellow travellers were Inspiral Carpets but did ask them what they thought of The Stone Roses though! You should have gone more heavy with the baggy togs lads!

“This Is How It Feels” peaked at No 14 making it the band’s second biggest hit ever behind 1992’s “Dragging Me Down”.

Next up is little Jimmy Somerville with his single “Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)”. In this performance he’s wearing an ACT UP T-shirt to promote the direct action gay rights organisation he was a member of and whose causes the song’s lyrics espouse. In a Smash Hits interview later in the year Jimmy wondered if his being so outspoken on gay rights had stopped him from becoming more commercially successful. Apparently his record company commissioned a survey to find out who liked him and why. Here’s Jimmy taking up the rest of the story:

“They found that a lot of boys between 15 and 23 like the music but won’t go and buy the records because they think people will think they’re gay. So I’m sure if I kept my mouth shut I would have higher singles. But then again, it’s also a little victory because it means these people know what I’m about. The survey said that really young school girls like what I do – they know that I’m gay and they just wish I’d shut up!”

I’m not sure that I appreciated what “Read My Lips” was about at the time although I knew Jimmy was gay and a gay rights activist. With lines like…

‘Here we are and standing our ground, and we won’t be moved by what they say‘

and…

‘Finding cures is not the only solution, and it’s not a case of sinner absolution‘

…I probably should have cottoned on earlier.

Right, it’s all dance tunes from here until the end of the show (no Breakers this week) and we start with “Ghetto Heaven” by The Family Stand. Not to be confused with JT And The Big Family who were in the charts at the same time, this lot were a trio from Brooklyn although the singer Sandra St. Victor was from Dallas originally as Nicky Campbell states in his intro. If you asked me before this repeat aired what they sounded like I wouldn’t have had a clue but hearing “Ghetto Heaven” back it does ring a few bells. Like Bizz Nizz at the top of the show, the employed a keytar player (urgh!) but unlike Bizz Nizz (whose single must have seemed dated even back in 1990), The Family Stand’s sound just about still stands up today. This single was remixed by Soul II Soul’s Jazzie B and it certainly sounds like it with that familiar ‘thumpin’ bass’ and cool groove vibe.

After splitting in 1997 they reformed in 2007 and are still a going concern to this day although St.Victor has also had a parallel solo career and has toured with the likes of Freddie Jackson and Chaka Khan. She also once recorded a song called “I’ll Never Open My Legs Again”. Blimey! And I thought Heart song was risque!

Moving on to Jam Tronik now and their unspeakable version of “Another Day In Paradise”. This was just proper dog shit, real gruesome stuff. Who the hell was dancing to this in the clubs back in the day? Having said all that, back in 2013 I went on a friend from work’s stag weekend in Leeds and after a night of drinking we all ended up in a club called The Cockpit. It was a right dive. God knows what the DJ was playing but it sounded awful. To my utter amazement the next track he ‘dropped’ (that’s what you’re meant to say these days isn’t it?) was “Easy Lover” by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey! And there were people (young people I may add) dancing to it! WTF?! Apparently they were being ironic the youngest person in our group advised me. And again I say WTF?!

Back to Jam Tronic though and the singer up front is called Nikita Warren but apparently, according to Wikipedia, like so many before her, she wasn’t the actual singer on the track! Well I never! Incidentally, in later life she would go into artist management and one of her clients was Jimmy Somerville! How weird is that as they were on the same show together back in the day? Nikita was just the front for the act but the whole Jam Tronik project was put together by one Charlie Glass. No, not the goal scoring Carlisle United keeper. That was Jimmy Glass. Who you say? This is Jimmy Glass….

Literally a schoolboy error from Nicky Campbell next as we get to the new No 1 from Snap! with “The Power”. Name checking the members of the band he says the rapper is called Turbo D when it’s actually Turbo B. Come on Campbell – it’s as easy as ABC! The other person that he mentions – Jackie Harris – wasn’t the person who did the actual singing, she just appeared in the video. That was ex Chaka Khan backing singer (another one!) Penny Ford whose musical pedigree is pretty impressive – her father produced James Brown, her brother founded Kool & the Gang, and her sister was the singer Sharon Redd. So who was Jackie Harris then? A random woman the record’s producers found at the German army base where Turbo B had been stationed for his national service in the US army. Hmm. As a back story it’s not really up there with my father produced James Brown is it?!

The Big Brother / 1984 imagery at the start of the video helps to crank up the intensity of the track I think. And if you were in any doubt of…erm… the power of “The Power” check out this anecdote that I found on the Songfacts website:

On July 5, 2011, the top 19 stories of the 39-story building housing the Gangbyeon branch of the Techno Mart shopping mall in Seoul shook violently for 10 minutes, causing the building to be evacuated for two days. Instead of an earthquake, it was found that an exercise class on the 12th floor was playing “The Power,” which happened to match the building’s resonant frequency and caused it to violently shake.

The play put video is “Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children” by Queen Latifah and Del La Soul. In addition to his Turbo B error, Campbell also mispronounced Queen Latifah’s name as Queen La-fit-ah in the chart run down earlier. Didn’t Gary Davies make a similar mispronunciation the other week as well? How many times have I said this? “You had one job…”

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Bizz Nizz	Don’t Miss The Party Line	Miss it? I gave it a massive wide berth!
2	Heart	All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You	It’s a no from me
3	Candy Flip	Strawberry Fields Forever	Nope
4	Inspiral Carpets	This Is How It Feels	No but I’ve got their Greatest Hits I think
5	Jimmy Somerville	Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)	No
6	The Family Stand	Ghetto Heaven	Nah
7	Jam Tronik	Another Day In Paradise	NOOOOOOO!!!
8	Snap!	The Power	Not for me thanks
9	Queen Latifah and De La Soul	Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children	It’s another no

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pjdn/top-of-the-pops-29031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 22 MAR 1990

Posted on November 19, 2020 by 80stastic

It’s two thirds of the way through March in 1990. The 21 year old me is still unemployed and has been since the start of the year. My girlfriend is miles away in Hull while I languish in poverty and hopelessness back in my parents’ house in Worcester. The only highlight of this particular week was my beloved Chelsea winning an actual trophy on the Sunday after this TOTP was broadcast. Back then, Chelsea were not the trophy winning machine they are now so any cup win was a big deal. The Zenith Data Systems trophy may seem like a joke to johnny come lately fans now but winning a final at Wembley was a huge deal for us diehards back then. Unfortunately, this was 1990 and very few games were being shown live on terrestrial TV so I couldn’t witness it live but my brother’s mate who has a Sky dish taped it for me and I watched the whole thing back on a VHS the following day. Apparently Moore’s Leisure Centre in Stockton was the place to go though. There was even a fellow Chelsea fan in there…

Enough football though. This is a music blog so play on sir and after last week’s ‘TOTP in decent tunes shocker’ episode, the question now is will that continue into this week’s show?

It’s a poor start. In fact, it’s a shocking start as the opening act are those three berks collectively known as Big Fun though why anybody would derive any fun (big or otherwise) from this turd fest, I have no idea. They’re in the studio after last week’s Breakers slot to perform their hit single “Handful Of Promises” and guess what? Absolutely everything about this is dreadful. The song, the bag of a fag packet dances moves …everything. Smash Hits ran a competition to win a copy of this single and I think the question they posed says it all about Big Fun:

Which of the following is an anagram of one of the Big Fun hunks’ name?

Is it :

BIG WOBBLY NETHER REGIONS
CHEST LIP WRICK
DIPSTICK OF THREE

Heh. “Handful Of Promises” peaked at No 21.

I sometimes wonder if Erasure get the credit they deserve. Their longevity alone should be recognised (2020 is the duo’s 35th year together) whilst their creativity and productivity has been prolific. Their stats alone are amazing:

35 x Top 40 singles
16 x Top 10 singles (including 1 x No 1)
18 x studio albums
4 x No 1 studio albums
1 x No 1 Greatest Hits album
1 x Ivor Novello award for Most Performed Work
1 x BRIT award for Best British Group
1 x Mercury Music prize nomination

Despite all of the above, I wonder if they are unfairly seen now as a retro act permanently tied to the 80s and early 90s of their imperial phase. I would also put Duran Duran in that category and yet a peer like U2, who although undoubtedly having their critics and detractors, are seen as somehow more ‘credible’? Is it just a rock v (electro) pop prejudice?

Anyway, that Ivor Novello award mentioned above was actually for this single “Blue Savannah” which had a limited edition 30th anniversary re-release this year as part of Record Store Day.

One of those pesky electronic dance acts next that caused the TOTP producers so many problems with what to do with them on the show. When dance music exploded at the end of the 80s, permeated the mainstream and produced bona fide chart hits, TOTP was left with the problem of how to put them on the show. The hypnotic beats as pop songs and faceless DJs as pop stars format was TV kryptonite for a popular music TV show and so it came to pass that Orbital (brothers Phil and Paul Hartnoll) served up one of the most lacklustre performances in the show’s history when they were on to promote their dance anthem “Chime”. The brothers give a wonderful interview in the TOTP – The Story of 1990 film about said performance. They pushed just about every TOTP producer button when they :

Refused to mime
Left plugs on their keyboards to show they weren’t playing live
Refused a dancer on stage with them and so when one was forced upon them, refused to acknowledge she was even there
Wore T-shirts with political slogans on them (‘No Poll Tax’) when they had been explicitly told such behaviour was outlawed

Excellent work all round lads!

I always get Orbital confused with The Orb (not being a dance head and all) which to an 80s pop fan must be the same as a clubber confusing Howard Jones with Nik Kershaw! Blasphemy!

“Chime” reached a high of No 12 and the duo would return with even bigger hits later in the decade with “Satan” and the theme tune to the The Saint film reboot.

Fed up of dance tunes yet? No? Good because here’s another from 49ers who are back in the charts with their second of two Top 20 hits in “Don’t You Love Me”. Please note that these Italo Housers from Brescia are just 49ers and not The 49ers (think Eurythmics and not The Eurythmics). This is important as there is another musical act called The 49ers who are a hip-hop duo from Newark, Delaware who consist of members Jas Mace and Marchitect (I’m not making this up).

Yeah…you got me. I’ve got nothing else to say about 49ers so I’m just filling time….

…until the Breakers! Thank God! We start with another tune that I don’t remember at all and it’s a collaboration between Queen Latifah and De La Soul with “Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children”. Queen Latifah is one of those artists who seem to have been around forever but I’d be hard pressed to name any of her songs as demonstrated by me not knowing this one. I’d probably know her filmography better than her discography to be honest. She’s great as Motormouth Maybelle in the 2007 version of Hairspray for example.

Having listened to “Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children” though, it’s definitely a tune and De La Soul provide that extra special ingredient to make it a potent dish. An embarrassing spoonerism from Gary Davies when he introduces the Queen as Queen La-feet-ah doesn’t take anything away from the track.

Now despite all this dance music bouncing around the charts back in 1990, somehow there was also room for some soft metal from a band that we hadn’t seen for a couple of years. Heart had staged a delayed assault on the UK charts back in 87-88 when they broke big with Top 3 hit “Alone” before belatedly finding an audience over here for their back catalogue which also made the charts when re-released off the back of that breakthrough hit. Fast forward to 1990 and here are the Wilson sisters again back with a new song in “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” which turns out to have some of the most excruciatingly cringey lyrics ever committed to vinyl.

It’s basically one of those story songs but it’s completely ill advised. For a start there’s the plot about a woman who picks up a male hitch-hiker with the sole intent of taking him to a motel to have sex in an attempt to get pregnant. She then departs the next day leaving a note for the guy saying not to try and contact her. Inevitably they then run into each other years later with his child and she admits to him that she only did it because the man she is in love with is not able to father children. Look, I’m not making any judgements about the protagonist’s behaviour at all but is that really the best subject matter for a song? The band themselves hated it – they didn’t write it, rather it was penned by producer ‘Mutt’ Lange and they felt pressurised to record it. Here’s singer Ann Wilson from a 2017 ultimateclassicrock.com interview:

“I didn’t believe in the way the original lyrics were devaluing the man in the story. Just going, ‘Yeah, I can pick you up. We can have a night of love. We can never even know each other’s names. You can be so miraculous, and then I can just get up and leave you a note and walk out on you. Have a baby and sort of gloat about your surprise when you see the kid.’ To me, that was kind of an empty, weird, sort of hateful story.”

The song was actually banned in Ireland because the main character was a woman advocating random sex with a hitchhiker and the band didn’t play it live for years.

Then of course there are those lyrics. Here are a few of Lange’s (ahem) ‘beautiful’ words:

So we found this hotel
It was a place I knew well
We made magic that night
Oh, he did everything right

He brought the woman out of me
So many times, easily
And in the morning, when he woke
All I left him was a note

Eewww! And pray, what did the note say?

I told him I am the flower
You are the seed
We walked in the garden
We planted a tree

I mean really. It reminds me of another salacious story song – “Platinum Blonde” by Prelude.

Enough muck! Something a little more edifying please? Oh come on! What fresh hell is this? A dance version of a Phil Collins song? Talk about a double whammy of crapness! As far as I can tell, Jam Tronik were a German dance project who specialised in making naff dance versions of well known songs. There only UK hit single (peaking at No 19) was “Another Day In Paradise” – like the world really needed such a thing! Some of the other artists whose work they bastardised included The Carpenters, Meatloaf and Ben E. King.

As hateful as this is, it’s not the worst Phil Collins incident I have been witness to this week. I was watching some TV quiz show about music presented by that bloke from JLS and his partner the other day and they had AJ Pritchard on it – you know, that Strictly Come Dancing professional dancer whose now on I’m A Celebrity...Well, played the intro to “Mad World” by Tears For Fears, he had to identify who the artist was. His answer? “Is it Phil Collins?”. I despair.

Back in the studio now and it’s one of the biggest songs of the year (the 10th best selling in fact). Snap! were a German Eurodance group formed in 1989 by producers Michael Münzing and Luca Anzilotti and “The Power” would become the first of two UK No 1 singles for them. As with Black Box before them (and Milli Vanilli almost simultaneously), there was a ‘who’s the real singer?’ scandal attached to Snap! I think the female vocalist up there on stage with rapper Turbo B is one Jackie Harris who didn’t actually lay down the vocals for the track. That was Chaka Khan backing singer Penny Ford. With the Milli Vanilli lip sync scandal about to break and with Snap! being on the same record label as those two charlatans, a second miming furore was not what was required and so Penny was found pretty quickly and officially restored to the Snap! line up.

As for the song itself, it wasn’t my cup of tea at all but you certainly couldn’t ignore the blistering force of it. It fair smacked you about the face the first time you heard it. It will be No 1 soon enough.

This again?! This is the third time the video for “Lily Was Here” by Candy Dulfer and David A. Stewart has been on the show and I’m out of things to say about it now. Erm…oh yeah! I’ve got Dave Stewart’s autobiography. I wonder what he had to say about this record?

*much flicking of pages and skip reading later*

Well, he said….precisely nothing about it. I couldn’t find one mention of “Lily Was Here” or Candy Dulfer. Bit rude. I mean, I know he’s worked with just about everyone in both the music and movie worlds so it might have been hard to fit every collaboration into one tome but even so. I wouldn’t expect a Christmas card from Dave anytime soon Candy. He’s well moved on…

“Lily Was Here” peaked at No 6.

In amongst this seemingly endless ocean of generic (and frankly mostly dreadful) dance tunes, there comes the odd life raft of relief….and ‘odd’ is certainly the word for this next act. Quite how US alternative art rockers They Might Be Giants came to score a UK Top 10 hit at this time is almost as big a mystery as the lyrics to “Birdhouse In Your Soul”. This curious and beguiling piece of pop still intrigues me 30 years on. Everything about it from its peculiar song structure to its oblique lyrics screams ‘this is not a hit record’ and yet it somehow works. Ah yes, those lyrics. Making references as disparate as Jason and the Argonauts and The Longines Symphonette whilst including phrases like ‘filibuster vigilantly’ which really should have no place in a pop song, the piece is supposedly written from the perspective of a a blue nightlight shaped like a canary. As you do.

The performance here is delightfully bonkers with front man John Linnell throwing some very David Byrne-esque shapes. I also liked the follow up to this which was called “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” but it failed to make the Top 40 but they returned there again one final time in 2001 with “Boss Of Me” which was the theme tune to the US TV sit com Malcolm In The Middle.

“Birdhouse In Your Soul” flew all the way up to No 6 in the UK.

A fourth and final week at No 1 then for Beats International with “Dub Be Good To Me”. I’m guessing that they might be on TOTP at least once more as their follow up single “Won’t Talk About It” hit the Top 10 but they never appeared in the Top 40 again after that. Why did they break up? Who knows? Maybe Norman Cook was disillusioned with the project after the commercial failure of the ska/reggae influenced second album “Excursion On The Version”? Maybe he wanted to pursue a different musical direction as he did with the acid jazz inspired Freak Power? Or maybe he just wanted to widen his palette of production skills by working with lots of other artists? Whatever the reason, thank God they made “Dub Be Good To Me” with its stretch at the top of the charts that thereby deprived Jive Bunny of a fourth consecutive No 1 single.

The play out track is “Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)” by Jimmy Somerville. This was the title track of his debut solo album and came on the back of two other hit singles taken from it in “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” and “Comment Te Dire Adieu”. Unlike the previous two, this was a Somerville original and he wrote it to promote gay rights. Indeed, there was a definite association between the song and the ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) movement and that organisation’s ‘Read My Lips’ kiss-in events to demonstrate positive expressions of queer sexuality.

Aside from its political overtones though, it’s a bloody good disco record to boot. I like the way that Jimmy wove in the phrase ‘enough is enough’ into the song – I’m guessing it was a small homage to “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)” the 1979 disco stomper by Donna Summer and Barbara Streisand.

“Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)” peaked at No 26.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Big Fun	Handful Of Promises	…and a pocketful of shite, NO!
2	Erasure	Blue Savannah	No but It must be on their Greatest Hits collection that I own.
3	Orbital	Chime	Nah
4	49ers	Don’t You Love Me	No I don’t
5	Queen Latifah and De La Soul	Mama Gave Birth To The Soul Children	Nope
6	Heart	All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You	It’s a no from me
7	Jam Tronik	Another Day In Paradise	NOOOOOOO!!!
8	Snap!	The Power	Not for me thanks
9	David A. Stewart and Candy Dulfer	Lily Was Here	Another no
10	They Might Be Giants	Birdhouse In Your Soul	Not the single but it’s on a Q – The Album compilation LP that I bought
11	Beats International	Dub Be Good To Me	No but my wife had their album
12	Jimmy Somerville	Read My Lips (Enough Is Enough)	No

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p9v4/top-of-the-pops-22031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 15 MAR 1990

Posted on November 17, 2020 by 80stastic

After weeks of watching aghast at the state of the charts back in early 1990, there seemed to be some online optimism that we were finally embarking on a run of episodes that promised to turn the tide of disappointment. Even the usually disparaging @TOTPFacts seemed to have caught the good times vibe:

It’s a good one tonight. Set an alarm. #TOTP https://t.co/l8RVvPF0nO
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) November 13, 2020

And yet…be warned for despite the undoubted presence of some decent tunage on display tonight, there is an awful lot of shite to have to wade through first. Simon Mayo is the host for tonight’s show who is usually nondescript enough to be considered as a safe pair of hands so let’s get into it…

…hmm. Now which camp do The Mission fall into? Decent or shite? I’m going to go for the former but with the caveat that it’s a risky choice. I definitely like some of their stuff (“Stay With Me”, “Wasteland” and “Tower of Strength” for example) but there was only so much of it that I could handle in one go. “Deliverance” was the second single from their “Carved In Sand” album and I have to say it doesn’t really ring any bells with me. That may be to do with the fact that it was only in the Top 40 for three weeks and was already at its peak of No 27 by the time of this TOTP performance. If I didn’t watch this particular episode (and I’m not sure that I did) then maybe it was just in and out too quick for me to have heard it. Having caught up with it some 30 years later, it doesn’t strike me as one of their better efforts. A rousing enough chorus but the rest of it is a bit of a dirge don’t you think? Well, Norman Cook agreed with me. In a Smash Hits article reviewing the charts back then he stated of “Deliverance”:

” I hate all this macho rock business and The Mission came from a punk new wave background and they really ought to know better“

Ouch!

OK, after a debatable start to the show, I’m nailing my colours to the flag straight off the bat with this one by saying “I’ll Be Loving You Forever” by New Kids On The Block is utter excrement, a complete jobbie of a song. After two uptempo dance pop singles broke them in the UK, it was pretty obvious that they would go for a weepy ballad for their next choice of release. Not obvious enough for Simon Mayo though who declares that T’KNOB have gone “exceedingly early” for a big *hand gesture* ballad *follow up hand gesture*. What’s with the gesticulating Simon? He comes across like he’s giving a paper at some academic conference – it’s not rocket science Mayo!

The song itself is so insipid as to hardly be there at all. Jordan Knight’s reed thin vocal is barely audible (except maybe to dogs). If you want falsetto vocals allied to love songs then The Stylistics had already been there and done it (much better) in the 70s.

“I’ll Be Loving You Forever” broke their run of UK No 1 singles after “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” and “Hangin’ Tough” had scaled the summit by peaking at No 5. It was the opposite trend in the US where it was their first ever Billboard Hot 100 chart topper.

Ooh, now then. Here’s one to split the nation. After I blithely stated in a recent post that the name Candy never caught on as a popular choice for newborns despite the rise to fame of Candy Dulfer, bizarrely there was another Candy in the charts almost immediately afterwards. Candy Flip, as I recall, were briefly hailed as ‘the next big thing’ when they gave The Beatles’ “Strawberry Fields Forever” the ‘rave’ treatment. This caused huge division around the duo; for some this was utter musical blasphemy while for the nation’s clubbers, it was bringing rave culture to the mainstream. In all honesty, and I say this as someone who has never been to a rave, I’m guessing that Candy Flip could have been seen by some in the rave community as betraying the whole movement by becoming pop stars off the back of it. Just a thought.

So who exactly were this pair of chancers? Well, they were Richard “Rik” Anderson- Peet and Daniel “Dizzie Dee” Spencer who had met whilst studying music and recording technology in Manchester where they moved in social circles that included the likes of A Guy Called Gerald and The Stone Roses. Clearly not ones to miss a trick when it came to burgeoning trends, they jumped on the ‘Madchester’ / ‘baggy indie’ bandwagon for their look and bingo! Ready made pop stars! They even made it onto the front cover of Smash Hits!

Apparently they did actually have some musical ability as in later life, Peet became a producer for the likes of The Charlatans and Muse whilst Spencer worked with erm…Robbie Williams…on his least well received album “Rudebox”. Yeah, maybe keep quiet about that. They also had some serious musical heritage in their locker. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

According to Smash Hits, Candy Flip singer Daniel Spencer's dad played guitar for Sandie Shaw and wrote songs for Petula Clark, while keyboard player Ric Peet's mum was in The Vernons Girls, who sang backing for the likes of Cliff Richard and… George Martin! #TOTP pic.twitter.com/OWf0mFyFjr
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) November 13, 2020

Mind blowing stuff. Talking of which they were named after ‘candyflipping’, the slang term for the practice of taking ecstasy and LSD at the same time. So definitely not Candy Dulfer then.

“Strawberry Fields Forever” peaked at No 3 and was their only chart hit. Their was an album which, gazumping Madness by two whole years, was called “Madstock…The Continuing Adventures of Bubblefish Car”. I don’t think a Candy Flip revival will be happening any time soon.

Is this the third consecutive week that “Love Shack” by The B-52s has been on the show? The TOTP producers must have loved this one. It’s the video yet again (I presume the band were too busy touring or something to pop by the studio) and as such, I’m out of comments so I’ll hand over to Homer Simpson for this one:

“Love Shack” peaked at No 2.

So the Breakers are back but at 1 min and 26 seconds to cover three whole songs, it barely seems worth it! The first of these stretches the description of ‘song’ to be fair. “Handful Of Promises” was the third hit on the bounce by Big Fun and was taken from their “Pocketful Of Dreams” album of which this song gave the album its title. Clearly it’s horrible. Nasty, cynical and lacking of any sort of tune, it somehow scrambled to a No 21 peak. Smash Hits magazine did a Big Fun v Yell battle of the bands piece which Big Fun won by 23 and a half points to 11 but it was a hollow victory – a bit like trying to work out which member of the Tory cabinet is the biggest wanker.

The good news is that I think Big Fun only have one Top 40 hit left in them before they will plague the charts and us no further.

I have to admit that Fish‘s solo career completely passed me by. “A Gentleman’s Excuse Me” is yet another of his recordings that I don’t think I have heard before now. The second of three singles taken from his “Vigil In A Wilderness Of Mirrors” album (incredibly all three were Top 40 hits) it’s actually a pretty little thing (to quote Bing Crosby from his Xmas chat with David Bowie)

It puts me in mind of “Home Thoughts From Abroad” by Clifford T. Ward. In fact, it almost seems like Fish was deliberately trying to rewrite it. In the shite v decent poll, I’m marking this one down as up to snuff.

There is a theory that Wet Wet Wet‘s second studio album (if you discount their demoes / early recordings album “The Memphis Sessions”) “Holding Back The River” should have been their third whilst their actual third album (“High On The Happy Side”) should have been their second. Confused? Don’t be because it does make sense. After their debut “Popped In Souled Out” established their blue eyed soul / pop amalgam sound, the obvious move would have been to follow it up with something very similar. What the Wets did however was to throw caution to the wind and write an album that was much more mature that dealt with more heavyweight subject matters. For example the near title track from their sophomore album “Hold Back The River” deals with alcoholism I believe.

Whilst certainly not a commercial failure (it was a No 2 and went double platinum), it didn’t perform as well as “Popped In Souled Out”. When their career was looking decidedly dodgy two year later, they returned to a more accessible sound and found their way back to the very summit of the charts with “High On The Happy Side” which also furnished them with another No 1 single in “Goodnight Girl”. Did they go for that grown up sound too early (maybe we should ask Simon Mayo – he seems to have an opinion about these things!)? I doubt it. Things worked out pretty well for the band ultimately. “Hold Back The River” remains one of their lowest charting singles though peaking at No 31 but then there is a jazz break down half way through it so what did they expect?!

OK, now we get to the big guns which all the pre-show ‘ooh this is a good one’ fuss was all about. Not just one of the biggest tunes of the 90s but one of the biggest tunes ever – it can only be “Loaded” by Primal Scream. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know anything about Bobby Gillespie and co before this point but then, I don’t think that many people did. Yes, they had been around since the early 80s and had already released two albums by 1990 but they hadn’t got anywhere near mainstream success. Enter Andy Weatherall (who sadly died in February) to alter forever not just the career of Primal Scream but also that of music culture period.

I can’t recall for sure the first time that I heard “Loaded” but I’m pretty sure I didn’t get it straight away. What were all those sampled voices at the beginning and what was with the structure of the track that seemed to be all over the place? And why did it take so long for the singer to come in? Thirty years on and hundreds of plays later, it’s hard to believe I once thought like that. I’m nothing if not consistent though. Having not immediately swooned at Morrissey’s feet as The Smiths broke and then resisted the charms of the emerging Stone Roses, this was par for the course for me. I’m glad to say that I got with the programme in time and own both “Screamadelica” and an import CD single of “Loaded” (purchased some time after the initial single release I have to admit).

For a while I was convinced that those disembodied voices at the start of the track were The Monkees but I subsequently learned that they are actually Frank Maxwell and Peter Fonda from the 1966 biker movie The Wild Angels. I’ve never seen the film but if you ever wondered what was the scene that they were sampled from, here’s the answer:

Bobby Gillespie stated in an February 2011 NME interview about the samples used in the remix:

“Imagine if we hadn’t got the Fonda one though. We wouldn’t be sat here now. I don’t know where we’d be but we would not be sat here talking to you. The gods were smiling on us that day.”

I can’t quite describe what it is that those clipped pieces of dialogue add to the track are but I totally agree with Bobby.

The original track that Weatherall remixed was of course “I’m Losing More Than I’ll Ever Have” from the band’s second album which was on that CD single I bought as an extra track and I have to say, I think that stands up pretty well on its own merits as well…

I managed to catch Primal Scream live at an open air gig in Hull in 2017 and they were belting. Bobby Gillespie definitely has a portrait in an attic at home where he looks absolutely decrepit though.

“Loaded” peaked at No 16.

The second big gun of the evening now as the TOTP TV audience gets its first sighting of Inspiral Carpets with their hit single “This Is How It Feels”. Instead of Simon Mayo blathering on about the sporting exploits of the band’s hometown of Oldham that year, I would rather have seen the current Speaker of the House of Commons Sir Lindsay Hoyle introduce the band in that game show host style that he employs to command Prime Minister Questions… “and now, we travel north to Oldham where we find Inspiral Carpets – Inspiral Carpets everyone!”.

To be fair to Mayo, Oldham Athletic had a monumental season that year (I’ve no idea about the basketball and rugby teams he also mentions). Despite finishing 8th in Division 2 and missing out on the play-offs, it was in the two domestic cup competitions that they excelled. The day before this TOTP aired, they had beaten 1st Division title hopefuls Aston Villa 3-0 to reach the FA Cup semi finals and had already secured a place in the actual League Cup Final. A guy called Frankie Bunn scored SIX goals in one game on the way to the final. I distinctly remember what a big deal all of this seemed at the time. Sadly Oldham would go onto lose that final and also the FA CUp semi final after taking Man Utd to a replay.

Back to the music though and Inspiral Carpets seemed to be promoted in the press as part of some ‘Madchester’ Holy Trinity (despite not actually being from Manchester) alongside the Stone Roses and the Happy Mondays. I’m not sure if that’s how they actually saw themselves having been in existence since 1983. I didn’t know this until now but they had an almost Fall like number of personnel changes in the years leading up to this commercial breakthrough.

As for the song itself, I thought it was great with its prominent, swirling organ sound and heavyweight lyrics. Bizarrely, my elder brother and Paul Weller disciple seemed to be going through a ‘Madchester’ phase at the time and had a mix tape featuring all the aforementioned bands on it (including Inspiral Carpets) which he was fond of blasting out of our shared bedroom at the time. He was also a big Man Utd fan and had been going to the matches for a few years back then and went to all the FA Cup games that season including that semi final. Maybe his fleeting association with the ‘baggie’ was more to do with the football than the music. Incidentally, Man Utd used to serenade their Man City counterparts with a chant based on “This Is How It Feels” with the words changed to :

This is how it feels to be City, this is how it feels to be small

This is how it feels when you club wins nothing at all

I think that one got consigned to the dustbin of terrace chants sometime around 2011.

Lead singer Tom Hingley had a very striking look back then. It was sort of Mr Logic from Viz meets Red Dwarf‘s Dwayne Dibley. Most disconcerting. I’m pretty sure I saw him do a solo gig at the tiny York venue Fibbers after he subsequently left the band but I can’t recall whether he still had the same hairstyle or not. Mind you, Clint Boon’s Stooges cut isn’t much better.

“This Is How It Feels” peaked at No 14.

Oh FFS! Seriously! We hadn’t all had enough of Jive Bunny by the time that the new decade had come around?! No, we hadn’t because they racked up another four hit singles before they finally fucked off sometime around 1991. “That Sounds Good to Me” followed the same cut and paste formula that these idiots had already used to mug off the UK public three times previously and featured tracks including “Everybody Need Somebody To Love”, “Long Tall Sally” and “Roll Over Beethoven”. I’m pretty sure that the version of “Everybody Need Somebody To Love” recorded for the Blues Brothers film was re-released not long after this Jive Bunny abomination

*checks http://www.officialcharts.com*

Yes! I was right. It was released about a month or so after this and peaked at No 12. Inexplicably, Jive Bunny peaked 8 places higher at No 4!

Beats International still claim the No 1 slot with “Dub Be Good To Me”. In a Smash Hits interview entitled ‘How To Make A Hit record In Your Bedroom’, Norman Cook admitted that putting together “Dub Be Good To Me” from the initial sampling he did in his bedroom to the finished record took just three days and £400. Wow! £400 for a record that was innovative and well…pretty good actually. By those standards, Jive Bunny, using similar techniques, must have spent about 40p to produce their steaming heap of shit.

The play out track is “You Don’t Love Me” by the 49ers which was their follow up to “Touch Me” and which I don’t remember at all. Apparently it samples Jody Watley’s 1987 hit “Don’t You Want Me” which I also have zero recall of. I’m putting this one in the shite pile which means, by my reckoning, the final tally for tonight’s show is:

Shite Music 7 v 5 Decent Tunes

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	The Mission	Deliverance	Nah
2	New Kids On The Block	I’ll Be Loving You Forever	Good God no!
3	Candy Flip	Strawberry Fields Forever	Nope
4	B-52s	Love Shack	Couldn’t be doing with it – no
5	Big Fun	Handful Of Promises	…and a pocketful of shite, NO!
6	Fish	A Gentleman’s Excuse Me	No
7	Wet Wet Wet	Hold Back The River	No but my wife liked this one
8	Primal Scream	Loaded	Yes but some time after the event
9	Inspiral Carpets	This Is How It Feels	No but I’ve got their Greatest Hits I think
10	Jive Bunny	That Sounds Good To Me	Oh this is an open goal….That sounds shite to me..No!
11	Beats International	Dub Be Good To Me	No but my wife had their album
12	49ers	Don’t You Love Me	No I don’t

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p9v2/top-of-the-pops-15031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 08 MAR 1990

Posted on November 13, 2020 by 80stastic

Right then, here we are…again. It’s yet another TOTP review. For the record, if you combine all of the posts from my TOTP 80s blog – https://.80spop.wordpress.com – with this 90s version then this particular post is No 301! Three hundred and one!!! I have written three hundred posts up until now on this nonsense! God only knows how many hours of my life that adds up to?! Is it nonsense though? Well, yes clearly it is but it’s also something else I hope. During these dark times music can provide a glimmer of light I believe, something to briefly lift our mood. Maybe these tunes from long ago can provide some blissful retreat from the harsh realities we are all facing. Having said all that, it is 1990 so don’t hold your breath…

Tonight’s host is Bruno Brookes whose real name, apparently is Trevor. You don’t get many Trevors to the pound these days do you. In fact, how many famous Trevors can you think of period? Trevor Francis… Trevor Brooking…’Clever Trevor’….but these are all 70s references. Oooh…Trevor Bayliss (no relation) who invented the wind up radio. And there’s an ex-Aussie cricketer called Trevor Bayliss. OK, my point is though that there have never been that many. Maybe that’s why Brookes decided to change his name. Trevor wasn’t deemed ‘trendy’ enough (to quote the vernacular of the time). Nobody says ‘trendy’ any more do they? It’s all ‘on trend’ or ‘trending’. Sorry, I’m babbling…which leads me neatly into drawing a line under this courtesy of one David Paul Booth:

Thought it was Babbling.
— David Paul Booth (@DavidPaulBooth1) November 6, 2020

The first act tonight is Guru Josh with his dance anthem “Infinity (1990’s… Time for the Guru)“. Apparently this nearly wasn’t a hit at all. The legend goes that Mr Josh (real name Paul Walden) came up with the tune when a friend asked him to create a track for a club night of the same name. 500 white label copies were pressed of which 480 were thrown in the bin according to Walden because you couldn’t have a saxophone in a dance anthem. One of the 20 who didn’t was Hacienda DJ Mike Pickering who played it regularly at the venue and the rest is history.

The performance of the track here looks thoroughly bonkers. However, Bruno Brookes seemed to like it as he says at the song’s conclusion “Lots of energy, lots of theatre, that’s good”. Hmm. The music journalist Max Bell once described him as:

“He looked like a chap who didn’t go to bed very often, dragged himself through hedges backwards, and nibbled rare species of fungi not usually sold in Sainsbury’s” which seems fair comment to me.

Sadly Walden committed suicide in 2015.

Right then, here we are (woah – massive deja vu rush!) with the first video of the night from Gloria Estefan and her latest single …erm…“Here We Are”. I’ve written about this many times in previous posts but it’s as much of a constant in life as death and taxes and that is Gloria’s rigid single release schedule. It’s pretty easy to get your head around as it’s basically this:

Release a ballad
Release an uptempo number (preferably with a Latin beat)
Release a ballad
Release an uptempo number (preferably with a Latin beat)
Repeat ad finitum

With her last single being the dance song number “Get On Your Feet”, this next one had to be a ballad and indeed it is. Here we are (again) indeed.

The third single from her “Cuts Both Ways” album, it’s pretty much standard fare from Gloria if a little more laid back and less excitable than some of her other big love songs. It peaked at No 23 in the UK but went Top 10 in the US.

Here come one hit wonders JT And The Big Family next with their sample heavy track “Moments In Soul”. Having seen their video in last week’s show, we get the ‘in the flesh’ experience this week and what a visually odd bunch they were. The Jerry Sadowitz lookalike on keyboards is Mauro Ferrucci while the lanky haired guitarist doing the ‘Ah Yeah’s is Christian Hornbostel. The vocalist was known simply as Chicca while the Bez wannabe throwing some unconvincing shapes at the back is Jumbo (as in jumbo-sized twat).

In a Smash Hits interview, Ferrucci stated:

“It’s not really the words that are important, they didn’t take too long to write. They don’t mean much, there is no story“.

No shit mate! These are the lyrics (if you can call them that):

Life, life, life
Come on and
Life, life, life

Life, life, life
Come on and

One
What you’re doing back?
Two
I really mean that much to you?
Three
What’s going on? (What’s going on?)

Oh yeah

But then the song does sample The Art Of Noise’s “Moments In Love”. That’s The Art Of Noise who wrote these memorable lyrics:

That’s The Art Of Noise there making JT And The Family look like Bob Dylan. “Moments In Soul” peaked at No 7.

Three of the next four songs were all featured in last week’s show as Breakers so I may struggle to find anything else to say about them. First up are Innocence with “Natural Thing”.

These jazz funk / quiet storm / ambient chill out dudes (delete as appropriate) should not be confused with the band Innosense who were an American girl group formed in 1997 whose main claim to fame was that a young Britney Spears was one of their original members. They were managed by the mother of Justin Timberlake and listed bands such as NSYNC and Backstreet Boys as their inspirations. Wanna hear them? Nah, me neither.

Excellent! 75 words or so without really talking about Innocence at all.

Right, I wasn’t really expecting to see Marc Almond again either to be honest. How many places did he go up in the Top 40 that week?

*checks chart rundown video*

Three. Well, I guess it adheres to the TOTP rules of having to go up the charts to get on the show but even so. Maybe I’m being harsh. I read an article online recently by Paul Laird (@mildmanneredmax on Twitter) where he reviewed all the pivotal albums of 1990 as he saw them picking one for each month of the year. Marc’s “Enchanted” album, from which “A Lover Spurned” came, was chosen with Paul writing of it:

“More of the usual unusual from Almond. “Enchanted” is violently modern and defiantly retro at the same time and, often, at exactly the same moments. With an orchestra of traditional musicians and Almond’s show stopping, showtime, show me the money vocals it is a deeply layered album filled with treats and tricks“.

Well, that’s me told. I do like Marc Almond. I’ve even read his autobiography and have at least one Soft Cell CD but this one doesn’t really do it for me. Still, you can’t fault the drama in both the song and Marc’s performance here. See Brookes. That’s how you do theatre – not all that arm waving nonsense from Guru Josh earlier that you enthused over!

“A Lover Spurned” got no higher than this peak of No 29.

Oh hello – a new song. One of only three on this week’s show and it’s “Blue Savannah” by Erasure. This was the third track to be lifted from the duo’s “Wild” album and was also the biggest hit of the four singles that were ultimately released from it. Bearing in mind the album had already been out five months (including over the crucial Xmas period) by the time of “Blue Savannah”s release, its No 3 chart position is pretty impressive. It’s far more lilting and understated than the other “Wild” singles I think. Maybe that was the key to its success. Or maybe it was just a decent song in amongst a chart full of shit.

The video for it is a bit weird though. Slightly disturbing actually with that disembodied blue hand floating about before it takes a brush to Vince and Andy. It’s like that Peter Lorre horror film The Beast With Five Fingers meets the promo for The Human League’s “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” with its completely painted red ‘You are Here’ house. Odd.

Back to the name game now and following on from my musings about the popularity of the name Trevor, here we have ~~Trevor~~ Bruno Brookes pondering whether there will be a glut of baby girls being called Lily in the wake of Candy Dulfer and David A. Stewart’s hit single “Lily Was Here”. So was Bruno right? Did Lily become a really popular name for newborn girls around this time? As far as I can tell the answer is no. The most popular name back then seemed to be Jessica but certainly the rise of Lilly has been quite the phenomenon since the turn of the century. As high as No 2 around 2012, it is still in the Top 10 for 2020.

Say again? What about the song? Oh, erm…I was hoping all that name talk would have distracted you. Well, I kind of liked the oddness of it all but I was never going to buy it. As for Candy Dulfer, despite a career that spans 30 years and 12 albums, she never returned to our charts after “Lily Was Here” peaked at No 6. I’m pretty sure that there weren’t loads of newborn baby girls named ‘Candy’ in the early 90s either.

A couple of posts ago I commented on the incongruity of seeing Adam Ant in the charts in the 90s, so tied to the 80s are his glory days. I could make the same observation about Bros. I’d almost completely consigned them to the pop bin by this point but here they are, three months into 1990 with a genuine, bona fide Top 40 hit. “Madly In Love” was the fourth single lifted from their album “The Time” and, on reflection, it seems an unwise choice. Firstly, a fourth single from any album is pushing it but when it is from the second album of a teen sensation on the wane, it seems positively deluded. Secondly, for the life of me, I cannot hear a discernible tune in “Madly In Love”. It’s like some sort of jam session that got ideas above its station and all those extra bodies up there on stage with Matt and Luke just seemed to over egg the pudding. Oh, and what the heck was Matt wearing?! A jacket and tie combo topped off with a baseball cap? A fan wrote into Smash Hits to ask if Matt was going bald after seeing the video for “Madly In Love” – maybe the cap was strategically placed?

“Madly In Love” peaked at No 14, the duo’s first single to fail to reach the Top 10.

A second week at No 1 for Beats International with “Dub Be Good To Me” and this week (for the first time I think) we get the promo video instead of a studio performance. They might as well not have bothered as it’s a straight run through of the song with a sepia tint added over the top. Where did all the fun of those Housemartins videos disappear to Norman?

The play out video is “Love Shack” by The B-52s. I said last week that I found this one to be a marmite tune and judging by the online reaction to its recent airing on BBC4, I stand by that. Personally, I can’t really be doing with it – to my ears it’s the sound of a band trying too hard. I especially find the breakdown near the end of the song when the music stops and Fred Schneider asks ‘You’re what?’ especially excruciating. Ever wondered what it is that Cindy Wilson replies with? Apparently it’s ‘Tin Roof, Rusted’ and not ‘Hennnnn-ry, busted’ as I have always believed.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Guru Josh	Infinity (1990’s …Time For The Guru)	Nah
2	Gloria Estefan	Here We Are	Negative
3	JT And The Family	Moments In Soul	I’d rather have to watch John Terry miss that penalty on an endless loop – that’s a no by the way
4	Innocence	Natural Thing	No
5	Marc Almond	A Lover Spurned	Not for me
6	Erasure	Blue Savannah	No but It must be on their Greatest Hits collection that I own.
7	David A. Stewart and Candy Dulfer	Lily Was Here	Nope
8	Bros	Madly In Love	Huge no
9	Beats International	Dub Be Good To Me	No but my wife had their album
10	B-52s	Love Shack	Couldn’t be doing with it – no

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p3bp/top-of-the-pops-08031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP Rewind – the 90s

My memories of 90s chart music

Author: 80stastic

TOTP 10 MAY 1990

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TOTP 03 MAY 1990

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TOTP 26 APR 1990

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TOTP 19 APR 1990

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TOTP 12 APR 1990

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TOTP 05 APR 1990

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TOTP 29 MAR 1990

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TOTP 22 MAR 1990

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TOTP 15 MAR 1990

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TOTP 08 MAR 1990

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