TOTP 04 JUL 1991

Well, that’s the first 6 months of 1991’s TOTP repeats viewed, reviewed and posted. Somehow it doesn’t seem to have been quite so much of a slog as 1990 but I’ve a feeling it’s going to get a whole lot denser to wade through from hereon in. As we enter July, Steffi Graff is about to claim her third Wimbledon singles title whilst Michael Stich (remember him?) will win his one and only by defeating Boris Becker. I recall it being very hot around this time and on the day of the men’s final, myself and my wife decided to go for a Sunday afternoon stroll around nearby Whitworth Park in Manchester. The temperature wasn’t the only thing that was hotting up that day as we stumbled across a young couple getting very enamoured with each other as they canoodled under the sun’s rays whilst stretched out in the park! Bloody hell! Get a room!

I wonder if there were any hot tunes in the charts back then? Let’s see…

The show kicks off with the week’s highest climber Incognito with “Always There”. After last week’s nonsense show opener Cubic 22, this made much more sense as being first on the running order. For a start, there’s a proper singer up there belting the tune out and when I say proper I mean proper as it’s soul legend Jocelyn Brown. Added to that, the track is a genuine breezy Summer anthem with some definite feel good vibes unlike that techno crap the week before.

Despite only having 5 Top 40 singles in the course of their career, Incognito have worked with some of the biggest names in the business (according to their very swish website) and are still a going concern with a cast of previous band members that would rival The Fall and The Waterboys.

One of those names listed is Duncan McKay which if you are a football / comic fan of a certain age like me can only bring one image to mind, that of the legendary Melchester Rovers left back, he of the ferocious tackle. Duncan appeared in the Roy Of The Rovers story for 15 years and not once did he change his image of full beard, and shaggy, shoulder length hair kept in place by a headband. Eat your heart out Mark Knopfler.

“Always There” peaked at No 6.

A “spooky little record’ as host Gary Davies describes it is up next as we get the father and daughter collaboration of Nat King Cole duetting from beyond the grave with his daughter Natalie Cole on one of his best known tunes in “Unforgettable”. This virtual duet was certainly a novel idea back then but there seems to be a distinct movement for this type of thing now. Maybe it was the inevitable advancement of technology coupled with the accelerated death rate of some of the music world’s biggest stars (remember 2016?) that brought this about but there is now a definite world of departed pop stars still giving concerts after they have shuffled off this mortal coil. Whitney Houston has definitely been brought back to life in hologram form whilst my own mother has been to see her beloved Elvis ‘live’ as it were with only The King’s original touring band actually being up there on stage. I think ABBA are due some sort of virtual reunion as well? OK, the Cole family reunion wasn’t quite up to those standards but it was pretty revolutionary in 1991.

Was it any good though? Well, despite his undoubtedly smooth crooner voice and the fact that he probably helped deny Rick Astley the Xmas No 1 spot in 1987 thanks to the re-release of his version of “When I Fall In Love” pinching sales for Astley’s version, Nat King Cole wasn’t somebody who I was ever going to explore beyond his most famous songs. The fact that his daughter had re-recorded them with his vocals as a duet therefore wasn’t going to bring about any lightbulb moments for me. Yes, them as there is a whole album of Natalie and her Dad together. Entitled “Unforgettable… With Love”, it sold steadily in the UK going gold but it went through the roof in the US racking up sales that achieved 7 x platinum status!

The ultimate sadness about the project is that Natalie herself would die before her time, passing away in 2015 aged 65. Her Dad died even younger in 1965 aged just 45. “Unforgettable” the duet peaked at No 19 on the UK Top 40.

A bizarre one hit wonder next from Cola Boy and their single “7 Ways To Love”. Bizarre how? Well, it was a dance tune that had a vocalist fronting it but the only words she sings are ‘7 Ways To Love’. If you were gong to do that why not just find a sample and not bother with a singer? Oh yes, the singer is television presenter and radio DJ Janey Lee Grace best known as being part of the posse on Steve Wright in the Afternoon. What I hadn’t realised is that she had also been as a backing singer with the likes of Kim Wilde and Boy George and also toured with Wham! including their ground breaking dates in China. In a bizarre coincidence given that last fact, the bloke in Cola Boy was called Andrew Midgeley. Weird.

Another part of the Cola Boy story that I had no idea about until now is that the people behind it were actually Saint Etienne who recorded it as a white label for dance specialist shops. In a Mojo magazine interview, the band’s Bob Stanley recalled: “It was a period when you could drive around to record shops in London, give them 20 and see what might happen. It worked. We went to a party and heard Andy Weatherall playing it”. They were singed to Arista Records off the back of the track’s success in the clubs but due to contractual issues couldn’t promote it themselves hence Janey Lee Grace and Andrew Midgeley being roped in.

The single rose to No 8 which is a higher peak than any Saint Etienne single managed* which must have been annoying for the band but maybe not as annoying as not being allowed into the TOTP studio to watch their charges on this show as, according to Stanley in that Mojo interview “They wouldn’t let us in. We got to the gates- your name’s not on the list”.

*This reminds nine of Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran producing Kajagoogoo’s “Too Shy” and it going to No 1 before the Duran boys themselves had achieved that feat. They rectified it weeks later when “Is There Something I Should Know” went straight into the charts at No 1.

Following on from the rather odd father and daughter virtual collaboration that was Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole, here’s another bizarre partnership as Anthrax and Public Enemy join forces for “Bring The Noise” (and not “Bring On The Noise” as Gary Davies mistakenly says twice). This, of course, was a Public Enemy track that had already been released as a single peaking at No 32 back in 1988. When thrash metallers Anthrax recorded a version and asked Chuck D to see if he would add his vocals on it, their request was refused by Def Jam label co-founder Rick Rubin so the band added Public Enemy’s vocals from the original master anyway. Once the track was finished, Rubin must have seen sense and the release was promoted by both bands leading to a joint tour.

I’ve told my Flavor Flav story before haven’t I? Oh well, it’s due another outing. A year on from this release, U2 were playing a gig at the G-Mex centre in Manchester entitled “Stop Sellafield” as part of the Greenpeace movement to protest the nuclear factory. On the bill with them were Kraftwerk and Public Enemy. On the afternoon of the gig, Flavor Flav wondered into the Our Price store on Market Street where I was working with an entourage of people with him and caused chaos as he meandered up and down the shop floor. He clearly had no idea where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. My colleague Justin who was a huge Kraftwerk fan and was going to the gig just to see them tried to establish contact with him in an ‘earth to Flav’ type of way but I don’t think he got very far. I think he might have been after an autograph as he was prone to that sort of thing. He once got Dion Dublin’s autograph when he came in the shop shortly after he had signed for Man Utd on the back of a picture of Bryan Robson.

“Bring The Noise” (the Anthrax/ Public Enemy mash up version) peaked at No 14.

Kim Appleby‘s time as a solo star was coming to an end in mid 1991. Having read some interviews with her, I think the allure of the whole thing was starting to wane anyway. She had worked up the songs for her debut eponymous album in tribute to her sister Mel with whom she had been writing and who had passed away at the beginning of 1990 as she wanted to create some sort of legacy for her. The success of the album and specifically the single “Don’t Worry” had achieved that. It sounds like she kind of lost her drive and purpose after that. “Mama” was the third single taken from that album and was the smallest fo the three hits off it peaking at No 19. It was also her last Top 40 hit. It was pleasant enough if a bit twee. The chorus had an endearing nursery rhyme quality to it but the verses were a bit slow. It was nowhere near as impressive as “Don’t Worry” which was nominated for an Ivor Novello in the best contemporary song category (it lost out to Adamski’s “Killer”). That nomination action though did lead to Kim being involved with the British Academy of Songwriters, Composers And Authors who co-ordinate the Ivor Novello awards and she chaired the judges panel for them for 15 years.

There was a second album in 1993 but it only received a limited release and the singles from it all failed to chart so it became a lost album. Kim has returned to live performing recently for the first time in over 20 years and was also seen co-presenting a three-part series on BBC Four called Smashing Hits! The 80s Pop Map of Britain and Ireland with Midge Ure.

This next song screams the summer of 1991. The dance /rap version of “Now That We Found Love” by Heavy D & the Boyz seemed inexplicably popular to me. I didn’t get it at all. It came across as so lazy, straight out of the ‘OK, let’s get an old tune that people will know, house it up a bit, write a rap for it and the masses will lap it up’ school of thought. Hadn’t we seen this all before from the likes of The Fat Boys when they covered “Wipeout” and “The Twist” in the late 80s?

I already knew the Third World version of “Now That We Found Love” though admittedly not from the original 1978 but its 1985 re-release. To say that I’m really not a big reggae fan, I’d always quite liked it. This take on it by Heavy D & the Boyz (obviously spelt with a ‘z’ as it was the early 90s!) sounded like a travesty to me. There was an album called “Peaceful Journey” that Our Price had made a Recommended Release meaning it was discounted by wasn’t actually in the charts but I don’t think it sold very well at all as people were only interested in the single which would go all the way to No 2.

Some Breakers now and we start with Queensrÿche who I knew back in 1991 were a heavy rock band but that’s about all I knew of them. Fast forward 30 years and that’s still pretty much the extent of my knowledge. I certainly couldn’t name you any of their songs but here they were back in the day with a bona fide chart hit called “Best I Can“. Checking them out on Spotify, that song isn’t even in their most listened to Top 10 tracks . However, the single released after it called “Silent Lucidity” has nearly 47 million plays. So I checked it out and it was pretty good actually and certainly not the hoary old formulaic rock I was expecting. The clip of “Best I Can’ that they play on TOTP though is exactly what I would have expected it to be and nothing that I would want to linger over.

Not that it’s a massively high bar really but “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” is without doubt my favourite C+C Music Factory song. The third single from their “Gonna Make You Sweat” album, it fair fizzes along with an infectious rhythm and a driving rap all of which combine to propel the track into the furthest corners of your brain from which it can never be vacated. See Heavy D (and your Boyz), that’s how you do a rap pop crossover!

The lyrics concern honey traps and infidelity were not anything new per se – we’d already had “The Rain” by Oran ‘Juice’ Jones – but they would prove to be a popular subject with future songs like Shaggy’s 2000 No 1 single “It Wasn’t Me” creating a little sub genre of their own almost. The song’s title apparently came from a catchphrase used by US chat host Arsenio Hall:

The final Breaker is by a man who hadn’t had a hit in his own right since 1986. OK, if we’re being pedantic he did feature on a No 1 single no less (he contributed “She’s Leaving Home” to the Childline charity single in 1988 but everybody played the Wet Wet Wet cover of “With a Little Help from My Friends” instead). And yes, he featured on Beats International’s double A side “Won’t Talk About It” / “Blame It on the Bassline” which made the Top 40 in 1989 but I’m not counting either of those. I am of course talking of Billy Bragg who is back with “Sexuality” the lead single from his sixth studio album “Don’t Try This At Home”.

The track found Billy in a poppier vein than we might have expected but that was probably due to the influence of Johnny Marr who took Billy’s demo of the song and turned it into a brilliant pop song. As well as Marr’s undoubted talents, the song also featured Billy’s long time collaborator Kirsty MacColl on backing vocals. The lyrics are typically idiosyncratic Bragg, for example:

A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of Sweden
Headlines give me headaches when I read them
I had an uncle who once played for Red Star Belgrade
He said some things are really best left unspoken
But I prefer it all to be out in the open

He’s not everybody’s cup of tea but I love Billy’s values and approach to life which is reflected in his music.

The video was made by yet another long time mate in Phil Jupitus who’s connection with Billy stretched back to the days of Red Wedge in the mid 80s and am I losing my mind but does The Bard of Barking have a look of Andrew Lincoln about him in it? OK, I am going mad but he looks more like The Walking Dead star than Robert De Niro as the lyrics would have us believe.

“Sexuality” peaked at No 27.

Now surely this next single was a prime contender for having been included in the Breakers section we have just seen but somehow the TOTP producers decided that it deserved a spot on it own in the running order despite only being at No 37 in the charts. “Generations Of Love” was the follow up to “Bow Down Mister” by Boy George’s side project Jesus Loves You. It had flopped on its initial release the previous year but had been given a second chance in the light of the chart performance of “Bow Down Mister”. Whilst you couldn’t call a Top 40 hit a flop, its peak of No 35 (even with is TOTP appearance) was hardly a resounding success either.

I didn’t mind it but it didn’t have the quirky, goofy appeal of its predecessor and would I call it a dance track as Gary Davies did? I don’t think so. I quite like the gallic accordion part in it and George’s vocals were as pure as ever but it didn’t really have any oomph to my ears. It would be the last chart entry for the band who broke up the following year.

Wait! Vanilla Ice had three hits?! Yes, yes he did. Well, actually he had four in total but “Rollin’ In My 5.0” was the third. This was just garbage and six months on from “Ice Ice Baby”, we all knew it as well (apart from those few, poor misguided souls that bought this in enough quantities to make it a No 27 hit of course). The titular 5.0 was Vanilla Ice’s 5.0 Liter Foxbody Mustang car and didn’t he also use that phrase in the lyrics to “Ice Ice Baby”? I think he did.

Supposedly Limp Bizkit’s 2000 chart topper “Rollin'” makes reference to “Rollin’ In My 5.0” but I’ve had a look at the lyrics to it and I can’t see any link unless it the line ‘And the people who don’t give a f**k’ as surely nobody did about Vanilla Ice at this point.

Jason Donovan is still at No 1 with “Any Dream Will Do”. Now I failed to mention this last week when taking about Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine but I was reminded of it by a friend on FaceBook. So after Donovan’s stint in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, he was replaced by Philip Schofield who seemed to be everywhere at that time. One place he had definitely been was the 1991 Smash Hits Poll Winners’ Party where he was the host. CUSM were only on the show as their new label Chrysalis (them again!) had pushed for it but things started to go wrong after the duo’s performance of “After The Watershed (Early Learning The Hard Way)” had been cut short when Fruitbat had kicked a microphone stand into the audience. In response to not being able to finish the song, Fruitbat started knocking over equipment on stage which led to Schofield’s sarcastic comment about smashing things up being original behaviour for a rock band. Then….a tremendous rugby tackle on Schofield by Fruitbat. I think at the time I believed it was all a bit of knockabout fun but Fruitbat really takes him out and his partner in the band Jim Bob was really pissed off with him and fearful for the band’s future after the incident. Yeah, but it was Philip Schofield after all Jim Bob so Fruitbat does deserve some credit.

As for Jason Donovan, this would be his second and final week at No 1.

The play out video is “My Name Is Not Susan” by Whitney Houston. This confusingly titled single was actually about Whitney confronting a lover who has mistakenly called her by his ex-girlfriend’s name Susan (according to Wikipedia). Relationship mis-steps seems to be all the rage for song subject matter in 1991 after the honey trap of “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” and now this. Sadly for Whitney, the choice of this track as a single also proved to be a mis-step as it peaked at No 29 but she would be back the following year with her gargantuan selling version of “I Will Always Love You” from The Bodyguard.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1IncognitoAlways ThereNope
2Nat King Cole / Natalie ColeUnforgettableNo
3Cola Boy7 Ways To LoveNegative
4Anthrax / Public EnemyBring The NoiseI did not
5Kim ApplebyMamaNah
6Heavy D & The BoyzNow That We’ve Found LoveDefinitely not
7QueensrÿcheBest I CanAnother no
8C+C Music FactoryThings That Make You Go Hmmm…Liked it, didn’t buy it
9Billy BraggSexualityNo but I have it on his retrospective Must I Paint You A Picture
10Jesus Loves YouGenerations Of LoveNot for me
11Vanilla IceRollin’ In My 5.0Hell no
12Jason DonovanAny Dream Will DoSee 11 above
13Whitney HoustonMy Name Is Not SusanAnd a final no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000ypcb/top-of-the-pops-04071991

TOTP 03 JAN 1991

After being stuck in the world of TOTP 1990 for what felt like much longer than 52 weeks, we have finally arrived in 1991! I approach it with a great deal of caution – too many times during these repeats have I been tricked by my memory into thinking that *insert year here* was pretty good only to be utterly let down by the paucity of tunes on offer each week. C’mon 1991 – don’t let me down! 

I would have just come through my first Our Price Xmas around now. After working some long hours and serving queue after queue of customers, both Xmas and Boxing Day were days off. Back then Boxing Day still saw just about every store closed unlike today when it is one of the biggest trading days of the year. We had been briefed by the store management that it was the 27th Dec that was the busiest (and most horrible day) of the year in retail as that was the day everybody bought back those unwanted gifts. Back then, the company had a no cash refund policy for items that were not faulty. Swapsies or vouchers were the only things on offer which could lead to many a confrontation with a disgruntled customer. I wonder how many of the acts on tonight’s show would have had their wares brought back that day? 

The year starts with someone who surely nobody would have been disappointed to find in their Xmas stocking (obviously I mean her album!). Betty Boo had been one of the biggest stars of 1990 and her single “24 Hours” was her fourth consecutive hit to be plucked from her debut album “Boomania”. So the first thing to note about her performance here is that Betty has lost her Booettes since her last TOTP appearance. Where were the two ladies with the matching black bob hairstyles? Had they all fallen out? According to Betty in a Guardian interview in 2006, those girls liked a good night out and were always pissed when they were touring the world with Betty back in the day so maybe they both had hangovers? With all due respect to Ms Boo, she looks a bit isolated and lost up there on her own. Secondly, what’s with the zebra style plastic mac look? It doesn’t fit her at all does it? As for the song, in truth, it was easily the weakest thing she had released up to this point so it was no surprise that, unlike her other hits, it got nowhere near the Top 10 peaking at No 25. We would not see Betty in the charts again for nigh on two years by which point her time had passed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOWEsuhmR8o

 

OK, so second song into the brand new year and what are we served up? Something that had already been a massive hit as recently as 1987 that was somehow back in the Top 40 again! What a swizz! So why was “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” by Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes back in the charts four years on? Well, we have to remember that this was 30 years ago before the digital age of streaming and catch up services  – we still only had four TV channels! They hadn’t even invented DVDs! So when a ‘big’ film was finally screened on terrestrial TV, it was a huge deal. Just a few weeks before, the premiere of Top Gun on UK TV had seen “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin become a hit all over gain and so it was also the case with this song from the film Dirty Dancing which had premiered on ITV on Boxing Day pulling in 12.2 million viewers. This was appointment TV – not quite The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show but it was up there. According to the song’s co-writer Franke Previte, it only just made the cut for the film as it was “…the last song on the last tape submitted on the last day for the movie’s final scene”. A bit like Will Young who sneaked onto Pop Idol after being the very last person the judges had seen in the preliminary auditions. 

Bill Medley, of course, had already made an unlikely chart comeback of his own a few weeks prior to this as part of The Righteous Brothers whose “Unchained Melody’ was the biggest selling single in the UK in 1990 off the back of its inclusion in the film Ghost. Jennifer Warnes also had her own film soundtrack history having scored a huge hit back in 1983 as part of another duet, this time with Joe Cocker with the song with “Up Where We Belong” which featured prominently in An Officer And A Gentleman. Her only other UK chart entry had been with a cover of Leonard Cohen’s “First We Take Manhattan” which peaked at No 74 also in 1987 which I’d quite liked.

“(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” peaked at No 8 second time around just two places lower than its 1987 original release. 

Not a brilliant start to the new year – so what’s next? Are you f*****g kidding me?! Gazza?! Yes, contrary to popular belief, Paul Gascoigne managed not one but two chart hits in the wake of ‘Gazzamania’ following Italia ’90. After “Fog On The Tyne” came “Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)” which played up to the Newcastle stereotype with its lyrics such as :
 
Newcastle Town,There’s Geordie Brown
Cheers to the lads who sup it down
They’re Geordie boys, Tough and proud
They take their music strong and loud
North and South, it’s all the same
Gazza’s here to play the game.
Move your body,Tap your cap
Keep on going to the Gazza Rap

Dear oh dear. Had record company BMG really had plans to turn Gazza into a proper pop star? As well as his two singles, he also released an album (albeit one that was universally panned and which failed to make the Top 100 in the charts). And after all, Kevin Keegan had scored a hit back in the late 70s with “Head OVer Heels” and Glenn and Chris (Hoddle and Waddle) had nearly got into the Top 10 with “Diamond Lights” back in 1987 so why not Gazza? The truth was though that Gazza the celebrity was already in decline by this point – his business advisers, on the advice of Spurs manager Terry Venables, had already begun winding down his non-football activities when they cancelled six PAs back in Sep 1990 and there would be no further appearances. The constant limelight  was also beginning to take its toll on his performances on the pitch. Even TOTP host Gary Davies has a dig at him with his “He’s doing better in charts than he is on the football pitch” quip. He wasn’t wrong. Spurs had just lost all three games over the Xmas period and had only won three times since October.

However, just two days after this TOTP was broadcast, they would win 1-0 away to Blackpool in the FA Cup to start a run to the final that was powered almost single handedly by Gazza. He scored six times on the way to Wembley but the final itself (despite a Spurs win) would end in personal devastation. Over pumped and high on adrenaline, Gazza charged around the pitch with no self control until injuring himself in a terrible challenge on *Nottingham Forest’s Gary Charles. If he hadn’t have been stretchered off he would surely have been sent off. For me, he was never quite the same player again. 

“Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)” peaked at No 31.  

*Talking of Nottingham Forest, if you really want the story of a footballer becoming a rock star, look no further than Paul McGregor. Not only was he a striker for Forest in the 90s scoring this winning goal in the UEFA cup in 1996…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JCsOjfW144

…he was also the lead singer of a Britpop band called Merc who attracted the attention of Creation’s Alan McGee and went onto form post-punk band Ulterior and performs under the stage name of Honey. 

Oh not this again?! Despite what host Gary Davies says in his intro, this record was Black Box‘s first four (not three Gary) hit singles all mashed together into one track which they called “The Total Mix”. I think there is an official video for this single but I can’t find it online and in any case, TOTP don’t show it here – instead just playing the track over the video for previous single “Everybody, Everybody”.

I’m guessing this must have been popular in the clubs to have generated enough sales to take it to No 12 in the singles charts. You’d think that releasing a megamix of your previous four hits all taken from the same album (“Dreamland”) would have been the final act of milking said album dry but no! They released another three singles after “The Total Mix” although only one of them (“Strike It Up”) made the Top 40. So that’s a charge sheet of fleecing the record buying public, a lip synching scandal and a lawsuit brought against them for unauthorised sampling. How did this lot sleep at night?

Finally a decent record courtesy of Seal and his hit “Crazy”. In an unlikely turn of events, this would not be the only song featured on the same show to have this title. His first truly solo single after the collaboration with Adamski on “Killer”, this track would cement him in the public’s collective mind as a proper pop star to be taken seriously. Seal always seemed to have a gravitas to him to me, that he wasn’t just another throwaway singer that would be here today and forgotten by Xmas. He delivered on this perception with a No 1 album (which, by the way, was not called “Deep Water” as Gary Davies advised but just “Seal”). Admittedly there is a track called “Deep Water” on it – maybe there had been plans for that to be the title track at some point in fairness to Davies. 

Seal was perfect for TOTP studio performances, setting many a young girl’s pulse racing with his rippling muscles, cool dread hairstyle and those intriguing facial scars. He was born to do this shit. Not sure about his little man bag stuck down the front of his leather trousers though. 

“Crazy” would just miss the top spot peaking at No 2. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7acMwppcfSI

A new act now as we get a first look at C+C Music Factory and their single Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now). This lot were essentially songwriting and record producing duo David Cole and Robert Clivillés (C + C geddit?) who stormed the international charts with this relentless dance thumper. That block busting back beat was like a hammer to your head and once imprinted on your brain, it could not be forgotten or ignored. The vocals were supplied, yet again, by ex -Weather Girl Martha Wash and yet again she was not credited for her contribution on the track. That’s not her in the video but one Zelma Davis. Martha defo needed a better lawyer back then. She finally got a settlement in 1994 when Sony requested that MTV add a disclaimer to the video that credited Wash for vocals and Zelma Davis for ‘visualization’ of the track. Visualization? God, you wouldn’t want that credit would you?! All of this means that essentially, C+C Music Factory were just a US version of Black Box. Still, you can’t argue with their success. I hadn’t realised quite what a big deal this record was at the time. It peaked at No 3 over here but it was No 1 in Austria, Germany, Holland, Switzerland and biggest of all, in their native US. In 2000, it was voted by VH1 into position No 9 in their 100 Greatest Dance Songs poll. 
 
It has been used in countless films and TV shows including the live-action/animated basketball comedy Space Jam whose soundtrack coincidentally also features the aforementioned Seal whose version of Steve Miller Band’s “Fly Like An Eagle” incorporates some lyrics from “Crazy” into it (‘In a sky full of people, Only some want to fly, Isn’t that crazy?’). I’m pretty sure the phrase ‘Everybody Dance now’ also became the title for a series of dance compilation albums around this time. 
 
I wasn’t a massive fan of “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” though. I much preferred the poppier “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” which was a No 4 hit in the Summer. 

 

Still with this Best selling albums of the month feature? Give it a rest lads. OK so, the Top 5 albums of Dec 1990 in the UK were: 
 

1. Madonna – “The Immaculate Collection”

2. Elton John – “The Very Best Of Elton John”

3. Phil Collins – ‘Serious Hits Live”

4. Carreras, Domingo and Pavarotti – “The Three Tenors In Concert”

5. Cliff Richard – “The Event”

This lot were hardly cutting edge were they?! Things That Make You Go Hmmm indeed…

Righto, who’s next? Anthrax?! For the love of God! Why?! These US thrash metal arses had not been higher than No 26 in the UK Top 40 before but somehow got to No 16 with “Got The Time”. I’m guessing it was a case of careful release scheduling (much less sales were required to register a hit in the week immediately following the Xmas rush when everyone is skint but more of that later). 

I don’t recall this at all so I was amazed to discover it’s actually a cover of a Joe Jackson song! Yeah, that Joe Jackson of “Steppin’ Out” and “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” fame. It was a track from his debut album “Look Sharp” and should sound like this…

Ah, that’s much better than that racket Anthrax were making. 

Now to that second sing of the night called “Crazy” but this time it’s by Patsy Cline. Country music legend Patsy has a legacy that completely outstrips her chart statistics. She only ever had one Top 10 hit (the original release of “Crazy” in the US back in 1961) and yet she is known and revered throughout the world. A bit like the musical reverse of my beloved Chelsea’s German striker Timo Werner – his stats say he’s had a decent season (12 goals and 15 assists in all competitions) but I am never confident that he is going to score. Please prove me wrong on Saturday in the Champions League final Timo!

I have to admit I couldn’t tell you any other Patsy Cline songs apart from this one and yet, despite only recording four studio albums before her untimely death in a plane crash in 1963, I counted 42 Greatest Hits compilation albums in her discography page on Wikipedia. I’m guessing the reason for this re-release was to promote one such Best Of package or was it used in yet another film soundtrack maybe? I’m not sure. Anyway, it peaked at No 14 this time around. 

 
Attention Anthrax! This is how you play release schedules against sales patterns to your ultimate chart advantage. I remember the idea that Iron Maiden had some how pulled off some sort of chart-based sleight of hand being a big deal at the time. Presumably releasing a single at the optimum time when the least amount of sales were required for a No 1 record whilst also knowing you had a loyal (and crucially big enough) fan base must have been a deliberate act and wasn’t happy circumstance. The band and their record label must have known what they were doing for them to knock Cliff Richard off the Xmas No 1 spot after just one week. Have their ever been two such polar opposite records to be consecutive No 1s? The juxtaposition of saintly Sir Cliff giving thanks to God followed by a heavy rock band instructing their followers to bring their female offspring to a horrible death was frankly bizarre!  Or was “Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter” about something else entirely? Originally written for the film A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Bruce Dickinson had this to say about it on the songfacts.com website:
 
Here I tried to sum up what I thought Nightmare On Elm Street movies are really about, and it’s all about adolescent fear of period pains. That’s what I think it is – deep down.’
 
How lovely of you Bruce to write a song about the subject in such a sensitive way! Jeez! 
 
Despite it being banned from BBC radio playlists, it spent two weeks at No 1 and in 2005, it was voted the second best No1 single of all time behind Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” by…yes you’ve guessed it…BBC Radio 1 listeners. 
 

From “Bohemian Rhapsody” to “Turtle Rhapsody” by some…thing called Orchestra On The Half Shell. As you may have guessed, this was yet another association with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles phenomenon. It was actually the third hit single to be released from the soundtrack to the film following “Turtle Power” by Partners in Kryme and “Spin That Wheel” by Hi Tek 3 (aka Technotronic). Yet again, I have zero recall of this and am actually surprised the whole franchise was still having hits into 1991. “Turtle Power” was a No1 in the previous Summer wasn’t it? When did the film come out in the UK then? 
 
*checks internet*
 
Huh. Not until Friday 23rd November 1990 so I guess it was still doing the rounds at the cinemas? It’s utter hogwash of course and would peak at a lowly No 36. 

 

 

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qO-hwTu1jM

Order of appearance

Artist

Song

Did I Buy it?

1

Betty Boo

24 Hours

Nope

2

Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life

 

Nah

3

Gazza

Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)

Great footballer, terrible pop star – no

4

Black Box

The Total Mix

Total shit – no

5

Seal

Crazy

No but I bought the album

6

C+C Music Factory

 

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

 

No

7

Anthrax

Got The Time

I really haven’t – not for this shite

8

Patsy Cline

Crazy

Negative

9

Iron Maiden

Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter

Definitely not

10

Orchestra On The Half Shell

 

Turtle Rhapsody

 

As if

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000w6t7/top-of-the-pops-03011991

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.