Backstreet Boys

TOTP 13 FEB 1998

It’s mid February 1998 and my beloved Chelsea have just sacked our manager Ruud Gullit! What?! The guy that just took us to our first major trophy win in 26 years and he’s been got rid of just nine months later?! What the hell was going on?! Well, much was speculated back then and since but my take is that Ruud wanted two contracts – one as a player and one as a manager which chairman Ken Bates balked at. When discussing how much said contracts would be worth, Gullit talked in net figures as opposed to gross (“I always talk netto” he famously quipped) which further put Uncle Ken’s nose out of joint. Add to these issues the idea that Bates just thought Ruud was too flash and disliked him and the legendary Dutchman was out on his ear. It was a huge story when it broke which although it shocked and saddened me, also made me realise that Chelsea were a big deal again after years in the shadows. Indeed, they were second in the league and in the quarter finals of two cup competitions at the point that Gullit got the bullet. My anguish was assuaged by the appointment of another footballing legend as his replacement – Gianluca Vialli -who would ironically become player-manager and deliver four trophies in his two and a half year tenure. I wonder if any of the acts on this episode of TOTP deserved the boot because it just wasn’t working out?

Nobody would want to get rid of the guy opening the show would they? Errol Brown, the front man of Hot Chocolate and the singer of all those classic hits? He always seemed so…well…nice. Nice he may have been but he’d also left Hot Chocolate over a decade before and whilst his former band members carried on without him (I know – without Errol, what was the point?), Brown was fronting his own version of Hot Chocolate for the nostalgia circuit. Maybe there was some tension there which might explain the confusion over the latest of the band’s revivals. After racking up their final UK Top 40 hit fourteen years prior (they were the only band to have a hit in every year between 1970 and 1984), there had been a relaunch of the band and a Greatest Hits package in 1987, 1993 and 1997. They’d been based around their hits “You Sexy Thing” and “It Started With A Kiss” and it’s that song which got another rerelease in 1998.

That last revival had seen the aforementioned “You Sexy Thing” become a No 6 hit in the November of 1997 and TOTP mysteriously billed it as being a solo single by Errol Brown when he appeared on the show even though it was officially (and correctly) by Hot Chocolate. However, the 1998 release of “It Started With A Kiss” was credited to Hot Chocolate featuring Errol Brown so what was going on there? Some contractual/naming rights shenanigans? Who knows? What is clear is that this performance saw Errol give a stripped back, almost acoustic version of the song which loses that lush, smooth production of the original for me. Also, the studio audience sat round him in a semi circle clapping along is giving me Blue Peter vibes which can’t be right on TOTP surely? My lasting memory of “It Started With A Kiss” though is of hearing it played on Radio 1 back in 1982 when it was first a hit and when Errol sang “You don’t remember me do you?”, Steve Wright chiming in with “Yeah, Errol, bald head, does a bit of singing now and again. I remember you” or words to that effect. How I laughed.

Hire or Fire? It has to be hire for Errol

Look out! It’s Cleopatra comin’ atcha! Yes, we have arrived at the time when three teenage sisters from Manchester were going to be the next big thing. However, a flurry of initial success lasted less time than the milk in the their Egyptian namesake’s bath before going sour. Hailing from the infamous Moss Side area, Cleo, Yonah and Zainam Higgins burst into our lives with that catchphrase and a No 3 debut single in “Cleopatra’s Theme”. Early labelling in the press as a UK, female Hanson was as lazy as it was obvious but three Top 5 hits in 1998 earned them BRIT and MOBO Awards nominations. Not only that but they were signed to Madonna’s Maverick label in the US where exposure on the Nickelodeon and Disney channels gave them a sizeable hit single and an album that sold 300,000 copies. They even toured with the Spice Girls and performed at the Vatican Christmas Carol Concert at the request of the Pope! What?! They had their own sitcom TV series on CITV! Maybe they were a big deal. Somehow though, none of this could sustain the group. A record company restructure resulted in a lack of promotion for their first single of the new millennium and a second album went unreleased in the UK. The group’s death knell came not by the bite of an asp but by Warner wanting to promote Cleo as a solo star and Cleopatra were no more. They did appear in ITV’s 2005 Hit Me, Baby, One More Time TV series but they couldn’t best Chesney Hawkes and didn’t make the final. Similarly, Cleo appeared on the second series of The Voice UK but bowed out in the semi-finals.

So why didn’t Cleopatra become global superstars with some longevity? Over exposure maybe? The appeal of their act had a built in time limit? Or perhaps their songs weren’t good enough? Watching them perform on this TOTP, I was expecting their hit to be…well…better but it doesn’t really go anywhere for me. The hooks don’t quite bite – not compared to the aforementioned Hanson’s “MMMBop” certainly – and all that spelling out their name letter by letter I found tedious. Another person who found Cleopatra tedious was the mother at the centre of a tale an ex-work colleague once told me. On a Saturday afternoon in Hull on the infamous Hessle Road, she overheard said mother say to her daughter who was unbelievably called Cleopatra, “Oi Cleopatra! Pack it in or I’ll twat ya!”. Only in Hull.

Hire or Fire? Sorry girls – it’s P45 time.

OK – just what is going on with presenter Jayne Middlemiss’s hair? It started off fairly coiffured and styled but just two songs in, it’s become loose and out of place as if she’s been head-banging down the front of the stage to…who? Cleopatra? Errol Brown? Can’t be surely? If that sounds a bit sexist, commenting on a woman’s look, I didn’t intend that obviously. It’s just that it had noticeably changed in a short space of time and piqued my attention.

Erm…on with the music I think. Who remembers Headswim? No, not me though looking at the cover of their second album “Despite Yourself”, that rang a few bells but I couldn’t have told you what they sounded like. Well, what they did sound like was Radiohead wannabes it transpires if their only hit “Tourniquet” was anything to go by. Radiohead but just not as good. Radiotails maybe. It’s all very angsty and doom laden with searing guitars and tortured vocals but it doesn’t really take me with it somehow.

That second album was recorded after the death of the brother of the band’s Daniel and Tom Glendining so maybe its sound is understandable but it still doesn’t make it any more listenable. The album failed to sell in any significant way and the band were dropped by label Epic. The members of Headswim pursued new musical ambitions with various other projects and even played a one off gig in 2022 to promote the rerelease of debut album “Flood” but there has been nothing from the band since.

Hire or Fire? I think Epic had the right idea

P.S. If I wanted a song that mentioned tourniquets in it, then I’d go for this:

Remember in the late 80s and early 90s when there was a trend for classic hits from the 70s to be reactivated by inserting a nasty, clunky backbeat into the mix and making them palatable to the club generation? I’m thinking of Quartz covering Carole King’s “It’s Too Late”, Black Box taking on Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Fantasy”, Snap!’s revisiting of the Gap Band with “Oops Up” and Fresh 4 (featuring Liz E) hijacking Rose Royce’s “Wishing On A Star”. Well, that final track was raided again in 1998 by rising-star-soon-to-be-legend Jay–Z. Admittedly, he didn’t come up with a horrible dance version but rather he remade it with a hip-hop/ rap twist AND, in a boost of credibility, he persuaded original vocalist Gwen Dickey to do the singing on it for him. However, despite being named in the intro by Jayne Middlemiss, when she declares “here’s Jay-Z…” and the camera pans to Gwen with no sign of the rapper, it looks odd. Eventually, we get a glimpse of him via the three giant screens behind Gwen which feature him rapping his sections thus reuniting the two but it doesn’t quite pull it off visually for me.

As for the track it’s basically Gwen doing a retread through the chorus of her old hit with Jay-Z rapping the verses when he references missing his homies, getting his shit together and, in an unexpected twist, about being interrupted by a chicken he used to cluck with. I presume he means a female acquaintance he used to hang out with? It would peak at No 13 but “Wishing On A Star” would continue to be covered by the likes of Jay-Z’s partner Beyoncé, Seal, Paul Weller and even The X Factor 2011 finalists featuring One Direction and JLS.

Hire or Fire? The original is great but I can live without a hip-hop version thanks

I know I say this all the time in this blog but this next hit I genuinely do not remember. No, it’s not just that I can’t recall it from the dusty recesses of my mind but rather that there is just nothing there at all – as if it never existed. Seriously, it’s like watching it for the very first time but 27 years after the event. Wes was Wes Madiko, a Cameroonian musician who’d worked with French ambient artists Deep Forest and who toured the globe with his brand of world music whilst also highlighting the plight of suffering children. He was a stand-up guy basically. His hit “Alane” was an exuberant and joyful blast of African chants in the Duala language of Cameroon set to an infectious dance beat which puts me in mind of The Lion King. And guess what, Wes contributed a track to the soundtrack of The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride. “Alane” would be his only UK hit and he would sadly die in 2021 aged just 57.

Hire or Fire? I’m saying hire on this one. I might not have know it before but it was a pleasant surprise

After Headswim earlier, here was another band who were hardly your cheesy, TOTP charts stars of yore. I was pretty slow on the uptake when it came to Spiritualized. Although my groovy record shop colleagues were definitely into this lot, all I knew about them was that they had an album out that came in really annoying and impractical packaging that was a nightmare to display in the store. Initial copies of the band’s third album “Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” came in a box designed to resemble prescription medicine with a booklet containing dosage advice and the CD housed in foil blister packaging! I don’t think I could get past that literally nor metaphorically to get to the actual music. As such, I missed out on the NME’s album of 1997 (as referenced by Jayne Middlemiss in her intro) and its attendant singles the second of which was “I Think I’m In Love”. This earthy, organic, almost hypnotic track wasn’t your standard late 90s chart hit and thank heavens for that. Despite it essentially being just a list of clever word play, it had an authenticity to it that I couldn’t detect in Headswim which sounds mad given that they were writing about personal experience of death. Ah the vagaries of subjectivity when it comes to musical choice.

Anyway, I finally cottoned onto Spiritualized when they released the marvellous “Stop Your Crying” in 2001 after I’d left record shops behind me and become a civil servant*. Parent album “Let It Come Down” was purchased off the back of it as were tickets to see them live in York where I was then living and they made a huge sound as I recall. The band are still together (though I think front man Jason Pierce is the only constant member) and they released their ninth studio album in 2022.

*That was a culture shock and I clearly won’t be writing a blog about that!

Hire or Fire? Definitely a job offer being made to this lot

Ah shite. It’s the Backstreet Boys again with their piss weak ballad “All I Have To Give”. We saw this a few weeks back as a pre-release exclusive I think and it’s gone into the charts at No 2 this week and so is back on again. It’s just a reshowing of that first performance which means they’re all sat down on directors chairs. Presumably Louis Walsh was watching at home and used this appearance as a blueprint for every performance by Westlife. Ever.

Hire or Fire? I’m firing all five of their asses!

The Middlemiss bonce has lurched from sleek to slack during the show but it’s back under control again as she introduces the No 1 song this week – “Doctor Jones” by Aqua. Not a lot else to say about this one other than that the contrast in voices between singer Lene Nystrøm and her bald male counterpart René Dif is the most striking on the show since Marcella Detroit and Siobhan Fahey took to the stage as Shakespears Sister. Also, the name Jones does seem to turn up in a fair few songs. Apart from “Doctor Jones”, there’s this lot for starters off the top of my head:

“Mr. Jones” – Counting Crows
“Me and Mrs. Jones” – Billy Paul
“Jones Vs. Jones” – Kool And The Gang
“Janie Jones” – The Clash

Any others?

Hire or Fire? It’s the old tin tack for Aqua

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Hot Chocolate featuring Errol Brown	It Started With A Kiss	Didn’t happen
2	Cleopatra	Cleopatra’s Theme	Not for me
3	Headswim	Tourniquet	Nah
4	Jay-Z / Gwen Dickey	Wishing On A Star	Negative
5	Wes	Alane	Nope
6	Spiritualized	I Think I’m In Love	I did not
7	Backstreet Boys	All I Have To Give	As if
8	Aqua	Doctor Jones	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002fzcb/top-of-the-pops-13021998?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 23 JAN 1998

Posted on June 30 by 80stastic

Constantly writing reviews of these BBC4 repeats of TOTP for the past eight years has been quite a drain on the old creative juices. I mean, nobody would be interested in a list of songs with me denoting whether I liked them or not would they? I try to give each show some context about what else was happening in the world at the time of its broadcast or perhaps something from my own personal life (if I can remember!). On other occasions, I’ll try and hang the whole past around a theme (however tenuous it might be). Sometimes it’ll work and sometimes it can feel like I’m shoehorning stuff in that really has no place being there. And sometimes…well, sometimes everything just sort of dovetails together by delightful happenstance. This post is one of those. This is how it unfolds. The day after this TOTP aired, a brand new BBC sit com aired called Unfinished Business. Now, I never watched this nor have I even any memory of it but having read its Wikipedia entry, it didn’t sound like it was a laugh-fest. Anyway, what’s that got to do with TOTP? Well, apart from both shows being on the BBC and being broadcast within a day of each other, nothing. Except…our host tonight is Jamie Theakston who I was delighted to find out (when I was looking for a theme for this post) has presented a reality show on Netflix called Cheat: Unfinished Business with Amanda Holden. Is that it I hear you ask? No, one of the artists on this TOTP released an album in 1998 which was called “Unfinished Monkey Business”. And there’s more. The band who had the No 1 record this week, I would argue, are a perfect example of having unfinished business but more of that later.

We begin with half man, half washboard Peter Andre who I’m amazed to find was still having hits as late as 1998. “All Night, All Right”, as Jamie Theakston says, was based around a sample of 1978 hit “Boogie Oogie Oogie” which is familiar from my youth but if I’d been pushed to name who it was by, I would have come up with Earth, Wind & Fire rather than the correct answer of A Taste Of Honey. None of this affects the truth that Andre should have given up on his pop star notions long since. He did after one more hit in the 90s for a whole six years but, deciding he had unfinished business with the charts, relaunched himself after appearing on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with the wretched “Insania”.

According to Wikipedia, “All Night, All Right” was a collaboration with Coolio on the album version of the track but with Warren G on the single release. Unless I’m missing something, there’s no sign of either rapper in this performance. What gives?*

*Oh, there’s Warren G! Two places below Andre at No 18 in the charts with “Prince Igor”!

It’s a hat-trick of consecutive appearances for the Lighthouse Family! Yes, the duo (they were a duo despite it all being about singer Tunde Baiyewu) have been on every TOTP of this new year so far with their hit “High”. In an attempt to keep things fresh though, executive producer Chris Cowey has come up with the idea of a stripped back, acoustic performance (witness Robbie Williams doing the same last week on his own third time on the show doing “Angels”). It was a decent shout I guess but maybe the better solution would have been to not have the same songs on every week? Certainly the TOTP community seemed to have had enough of this one judging by their online comments or were said comments triggered by who the artist was rather than how many times they’d been on the show? The usual accusations of being ‘bland’ and ‘vacuous’ were made – an almost obligatory event when discussing the Lighthouse Family it seems. I have to say that I certainly wasn’t a fan but would I have gone as far as to call them the Shitehouse Family? I don’t think so (even though I just did).

We have reached, what is for me, the point of peak Radiohead also known as the moment before they disappeared up their own arses musically speaking. If you are a Radiohead devotee and that offends you then I refer you to my disclaimer at the bottom of this post. Let’s not dwell on the negative though – “No Surprises” is possibly one of the most affecting songs on its first hearing you could ever imagine. Not many* tracks have that inherent emotive power that stirs something within you immediately but that’s how it was for me.

*And certainly not many featuring a glockenspiel!

The third single taken from the “OK Computer” album, it would also be the band’s final commercial release of the 90s and what a way to end their decade. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I couldn’t follow their musical path from this point onwards – I’d already drawn a line under my interest in them subconsciously prompted by the arrival of the new millennium.

Anyway, “No Surprises” was just magnificent – a simple lullaby on the one hand the melody of which was at complete odds with its lyrics that were a caustic indictment of modern life. It had a sense of distress about it, as if it was recorded under duress. Both these extremes of the song were portrayed visually. The lullaby narrative was turned into comedy gold by this scene from The Royle Family…

When “no surprises” by @radiohead plays on @XSManchester it reminds me of this from the royle family 💙 pic.twitter.com/yGpn0hExgp
— RACH / ♡ 🐝 (@rach_griff) December 30, 2019

Meanwhile, that theme of duress was captured by its striking video. Directed by Grant Gee, it depicted Thom Yorke in an astronaut type helmet that slowly filled with water as he sang the song’s lyrics that scrolled upwards, reflected in the helmet. Yorke has to lift his head above the water level to sing until he is fully submerged and then stays motionless for over a minute before the water is released and he completes the song. It was genuinely unnerving and took multiple takes before Yorke could complete it to everyone’s satisfaction.

Apparently, Gee was influenced in his vision for the video by the old Gerry Anderson science-fiction series UFO which featured aliens whose spacesuits had a helmet that was filled with a green liquid that they breathed rather than oxygen. That show scared the crap out of me as a very young kid.

As I write this, it’s Glastonbury weekend of which I’ve watched the following artists:

Shed Seven – not bad but Rick Witter introducing them as a 90s band rather dates them
Alanis Morissette – good vocal but she was clearly very nervous
The 1975 – just insufferable
Pulp – reliably excellent
Noah Kahan – a favourite of my teenage son and fast becoming one of mine too
Olivia Rodrigo – better than expected

However, I don’t think anything I’ve seen this weekend can rival Radiohead’s 1997 Glastonbury set which featured “No Surprises”…

Now, here’s some business that is definitely being finished – the dreadful business of OTT that is, who are on to their final UK chart hit and I’m guessing (please!) their last ever TOTP appearance. Their valedictory song is – surprise, surprise – not another cover version but a serviceable pop ditty aimed squarely at capturing the hearts of teenage girls across the land called “The Story Of Love”. Two of their previous three hits had been with other people’s material but this one could easily have been a Boyzone single. Well, they did seem to be copying their fellow Irish lads at every turn so I guess it makes sense to have a hit that was indiscernible from one of theirs. OTT really were second rate in the boy band stakes though. Apparently Asia went mad for them but over here, they never once even made the Top 10. The story of love? Nah, this was more a tale of tosh. Utter guff. OTT were over and OUT!

And now to that artist whose album featured the words ‘unfinished business’ in its title. Since the messy demise of the Stone Roses in 1996, we’d seen John Squire rise from the ashes with The Seahorses, Mani join Primal Scream and not much else. Suddenly though, frontman Ian Brown was back and throwing his hat into the solo career ring. His debut album was titled “Unfinished Monkey Business” and its lead single was “My Star”. Basically a Brown tirade against the expenditure on and reasoning behind the space race, the Mission Control type voices and sound effects put me in mind not of space exploration though but of CB Radios and trucking and that song “Convoy” from the mid 70s by C.W. McCall. Funny how the mind works isn’t it? I recall quite liking this at the time but on reflection, there doesn’t seem to be much to it other than more than a passing resemblance to this rather good track by The Jam…

Anyway, I guess we’d better address the elephant in the room…what was going on with all those eggs?! There’s a man playing a set of them like they’re a percussion instrument and then Brown himself lobs some at the image of him at the back of the stage. The only explanation I can find is that Brown wanted an organic sound effect for the production on the track and so the sound of an egg being cracked into a frying pan was inserted into the mix. Truth or myth? Who knows? What I do know is that it was quite the comeback given the place Brown found himself in after the Roses imploded after a catastrophic performance at Glastonbury in 1996. It was the very antithesis of the aforementioned appearance by Radiohead at the festival a year later. Having said that, given his ex-band’s fanbase, perhaps a hit was almost guaranteed regardless of its quality but its lo-fi sound had some appeal I guess. It was certainly a far cry from the huge expense of the production on the last Stone Roses album “Second Coming” – apparently Brown financed the recording of “Unfinished Monkey Business” himself and it was partly recorded at his home studio.

Looking at Brown’s discography, I’m slightly taken aback at how many hits he’s had under his own steam although he was part of the reformed classic Stone Roses line up in 2011 proving that the four members had some unfinished business with each other. Said business seems to have finally been dealt with as in September 2019, John Squire confirmed in an interview with The Guardian that the Stone Roses had disbanded.

It’s the world’s favourite boy band according to host Jamie Theakston next – Backstreet Boys. Oh dear Lord. I’m not sure I have anything nor want to say anything about this lot at this juncture. They were just so dull and grim. Look, here are the facts…”All I Have To Give” was their eighth consecutive UK hit of which six went Top 5. It was another wimpy ballad that was written and produced by Full Force who collaborated with Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam back in 1985 on “I Wonder If I Take You Home” (I’m sure they’re famous for much more but that’s all I know of them). Apparently the track allowed Backstreet Boy Howie D to do some lead vocals as his voice wasn’t suited to the more pop orientated hits they’d had up to this point. I wonder if Howie had threatened to take his ball home if he wasn’t given his chance? OK, enough of this! My puns are almost as bad as their song!

Oasis are No 1 with “All Around The World” and just like Radiohead before them, this would be their last release of the 90s. Also like Radiohead, it could be seen as a watershed moment. Not only was it the final release on Creation before the label folded but was the last to feature original members Bonehead and Guigsy. This week there’s another intro courtesy of Noel explaining that the band are still in America touring so we get the video rather than a studio appearance. If anyone was in any doubt as to the influence of The Beatles on Oasis and Noel in particular then one watch of this promo surely resolved that. The Yellow Submarine vibe is not so much prevalent as a direct steal.

Now, as fortune would have it, I write this as we enter the week of the first Oasis reunion gigs – yes, the much heralded concerts are nearly here and it will be interesting to see/hear what shape the band are in after sixteen years away. After all the hype, anticipation and negative publicity surrounding dynamic ticket pricing, it’s surely the music that matters right? Well, there is no new music of course – the much speculated and indeed leaked set list won’t have anything we haven’t heard before in it but is that what the hordes would have wanted anyway? I’m not part of the horde by the way. I didn’t feel the need to spend hours virtually queuing for tickets – I saw them in 1996 when they played Maine Road, Manchester when they were at the height of their powers and popularity and felt no pull to revisit the band nearly 30 years later. The band (or more pertinently Noel) clearly don’t feel the same and so we get to the ‘unfinished business’ bit. The reasons behind the Oasis reunion tour have been widely speculated. Did Noel and Liam genuinely want to rebuild their tattered relationship? Was it all about nostalgia and reliving that feeling of when the band could do no wrong? Or is it purely about the money? I think I’m plumping for the last option.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Peter Andre	All Night, All Right	As if
2	Lighthouse Family	High	No
3	Radiohead	No Surprises	No but I had OK Computer
4	OTT	The Story Of Love	Nah
5	Ian Brown	My Star	Nope
6	Backstreet Boys	All I Have To Give	Never
7	Oasis	All Around The World	No but I had a promo of the Be Here Now album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002dt1y/top-of-the-pops-23011998?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 07 NOV 1997

Posted on May 12 by 80stastic

With the release schedules geared up for the Christmas rush, 75% of the tunes in this TOTP are hits we are yet to have seen in these BBC4 repeats. Only the opener and the No 1 which top and tail the show have previously featured. Sound good? Yeah well, a third of those new songs are by Peter Andre and Michael Bolton – not so keen now are we? Fear not though as there are some quality tunes as well. Our host is Zoë Ball who begins the show in a bed but it’s not a Big Breakfast / Paula Yates flirting with Michael Hutchence affair. No, this is the BBC after all. No, it’s a lame sketch about Zoë being the new co-host of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show and how she’s working so many hours she doesn’t know what time of day it is. Very poor.

After that we’re straight to the music and we begin with repeat airing of “As Long As You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys. What was it about boy bands that you had to have five members? This lot did, so did New Kids On The Block, Take That, Boyzone, Westlife and, of course…erm…Five. Now admittedly, many of the above groups lost members along the way but the basic template seems to be five. There were exceptions obviously like Bros who started out as a trio (before slimming down to a duo) and East 17 only had four but even back in the 80s with the likes of Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet (whom I wouldn’t describe as boy bands at all but whom certainly attracted a teenage girl fanbase), the classic line up was five. Was it to broaden their appeal so there was a member to cater for all the tastes of the fans? Said tastes would always include the obligatory small, cute one (Mark Owen, Stephen Gately etc). Who was the cute one in the Backstreet Boys? The blonde one? Must be as the rest of them you wouldn’t look twice at if you passed them in the street if they weren’t famous. I guess they didn’t care though as long as you loved them.

Soap star in decent song shocker! That was essentially the reaction to the news that Natalie Imbruglia had joined the ranks of ex-Neighbours stars to try their hand at this pop star lark. Natalie’s debut offering was no early era, SAW produced Kylie hit though nor indeed anything from Jason Donovan’s career (and don’t get me started on Stefan Dennis’s mercifully short foray into pop music). No, “Torn” was a good, solid, proper song that was perfect for radio playlists and discerning pop music fans alike (myself included). Now, I don’t think I knew this at the time, but the song had a lengthy backstory. Originally co-written by Scott Cutler, Anne Preven and Phil Thornalley (who had previously worked with the likes of The Cure, The Psychedelic Furs, Thompson Twins and Duran Duran and was briefly a member of Johnny Hates Jazz), it laid unreleased for a couple of years until Danish singer Lis Sørensen released it as “Brændt” meaning “Burnt”. Cutler and Preven then formed alt-rock band Ednaswap who released the first English language version of the song which was then superseded by American-Norwegian Trinne Rein’s cover which was a hit in Norway but nowhere else. This low profile gestation period meant that most of us didn’t know the track and accepted it as Natalie’s song – the whole kit and caboodle which possibly helped to give her some extra and unexpected if undeserved credibility.

Of course, not only was the song a winner but Natalie Imbruglia was a great choice to sell it. I’d long since stopped watching Neighbours on a regular basis but I knew who Natalie’s character in the Aussie soap was and she hadn’t looked like the woman on TOTP. She had long hair and played a girl-next-door type but the woman on our TV screens that night had a short, messy-looking haircut that you know was actually very expensive and those amazing, Disney Princess eyes giving her that pop star sheen. “Torn” was such a big hit – Top 5 just about everywhere (No 2 over here) including No 1 in six countries and shifting 2.4 million copies in the UK alone – that it was a double edged sword. It got her career off to a stunning start but everything she released from that point on ran the risk of being overshadowed by that debut. For a while though, the hits did follow – three more singles were released from her “Left Of The Middle” album (itself triple platinum selling) which peaked at Nos 2, 5 and 19. Natalie Imbruglia was a pop sensation even earning herself two BRIT awards. A four year delay before her second album meant momentum was lost though and sales suffered accordingly. However, she continues to record and release music with her last album arriving in 2021. She also won the third season of The Masked Singer as ‘Panda’ in 2022. However, that profile wasn’t enough to save her from this fate when she was a guest judge on The X Factor…

Yes! Yes! YES! Finally, one of my favourite bands makes their TOTP debut. I love Embrace and they are possibly the band I have seen live the most (probably five or six times). There’s something about their particular brand of indie rock that speaks to me – it might be my weakness for the anthemic which they are very good at. Back in 1997 though, I’m not sure that I was on board from the first pick up point. I certainly wasn’t aware of their initial release of “All You Good Good People” on the independent label Fierce Panda but then only 1,300 copies were made so I can be excused for that. The reaction to that limited run release was enough to give the band national recognition and create a buzz around them that would prompt a move to major label Hut Records (a subsidiary of Virgin and an early home for The Verve and The Smashing Pumpkins). Early releases for Hut (the “Fireworks” and “One Big Family” EPs) were respectable but not huge hits but then came this – a rerelease of “All You Good Good People” in EP format – which took them into the Top 10 for the first time. A gigantic song of epic sonic proportions, it slowly builds to a euphoric chorus that just can’t be ignored. And yet…I don’t think it was this song that drew me in. I believe that I only got the boat to Embrace island once “Come Back To What You Know” was released the following year but having arrived, I was more than happy to be marooned there. Their debut album “The Good Will Out” would become one of my favourite albums whilst going to No 1 and going gold on the day of release. Comparisons with Oasis were as inevitable as they were widespread but for me at least, not valid. Sure, on a surface level, you can join the dots but I think there’s more depth to Embrace’s sound whereas their Manc counterparts ploughed a defined seam that they were reluctant to deviate from.

Embrace would experience highs and lows throughout their career from being dropped by Hut after third album “If You’ve Never Been” underperformed commercially followed by a No 1 comeback album in 2004 with “Out Of Nothing”. A poor decision to record the England World Cup song (“World At Your Feet”) in 2006 which rather tarnished their reputation was followed by a seven year hiatus after lead singer Danny McNamara suffered health problems. However, a return to recording in 2013 has led to the release of three further studio albums and a very active touring schedule.

From the sublime to the ridiculous now as Peter Andre fills our screens and he’s in serious mode. Gone is the two-curtains hairstyle and the infamous abs are covered up for Peter is trying to reinvent himself as some sort of 50s teen idol balladeer! Check out his slicked back hairstyle with the exaggerated kiss curl locks at the front and witness how he stares meaningfully down the lens of the camera as if to say “Don’t you get it? I’m a serious artist!”. Then there’s his song – “Lonely” – which starts off sounding a bit like George Benson’s “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You” made famous by Glenn Medeiros but turns into a right old dirge. Although it made No 6, its parent album “Time” was a right old duffer when it came to sales and it looked as if the pop star career of Peter Andre was mercifully coming to an end. Somehow though, this berk is still a name in 2025 and has so far released eleven studio albums! Eleven! That’s three more than Embrace! Make it make sense someone. Please!

Now, from a dirge of a ballad to a…dirge of a ballad. Oh Lordy! Toni Braxton made her name on sad love songs (I mean like literally – one of her hits is called “Another Sad Love Song”!) so we shouldn’t have been surprised to see her back on TOTP with another one but “How Could An Angel Break My Heart” was a real stinker. Everything is wrong with this one from its awful title (Toni had a real thing about songs with the word ‘heart’ in the title – “Un-break My Heart”, of course but then “Make My Heart” and “I Heart You” in the 2010s) to its dreadful lyrics (“I wish I didn’t wish so hard, maybe I wished our love apart”) to its lumbering, mournful sound. Oh and don’t get me started on Kenny G’s sax parts. No, seriously please don’t. I can’t do my Kenny “The G Man” G story again*. Then there’s Toni’s performance here. At one point she sings “oooh, mmmm” (according to the subtitles) where she moves her lips into a Shirley Bassey style tremble. Talk about over emoting! Next!

*Actually, it seems I can. Read on.

Oh no! How can this be?! It’s a hat-trick of dirge-like ballads as we follow Peter Andre and Toni Braxton with Michael Bolton and his single “The Best Of Love”. What dreadful running order scheduling! The saving grace here was that it was Boller’s final UK chart hit – the last of 17 (SEVENTEEN!). This one was part of a double A-Side with “Go The Distance”, a track taken from the soundtrack to the Disney film Hercules. What a terrible way for Bolton to bow out on such a poor song. “The Best Of Love” was written by US songwriter and producer Babyface as was the preceding track performed by Toni Braxton. Right that’s him off my Christmas card list then.

In an attempt to distract us from how awful the song he’s peddling is, Michael has had his famous long locks shorn off. I can’t even make a joke along the lines of Samson losing his strength and power after his hair was cut because Bollers was useless when he was overly hirsute. I probably shouldn’t be making any jokes about Michael full stop as he is recovering from surgery for a brain tumour. Instead, I’ll simply say farewell Mr Bolton. We’ll always have Sheffield in 1993…

TOTP 16 JUL 1987

Read the above post for my Michael Bolton / Kenny G story

How do you follow up an era defining album like “Different Class” that housed such classics of its time as “Common People” and “Disco 2000”? Well, Pulp decided to go with a song about thinking more about our old folks. It wasn’t the obvious direction to go in but it was a reflection by Jarvis Cocker on the ageing process and how he himself was not getting any younger. That he was only 34 when this song was released kind of undermines his musings but then age is relative I guess. He probably did feel older than some of his chart contemporaries having started Pulp in 1978. He’ll be 62 this birthday – I wonder how he feels about his song “Help The Aged” these days?

There were definitely some who weren’t keen on the track, namely the charity Help The Aged (now AGE UK) who objected to their name being used on the single and who were only assuaged by having some of the single’s royalties donated to their cause. Was I one of those who weren’t convinced by this new direction? I honestly can’t recall what I thought of it but listening back to it now, I quite like it. It has that idiosyncratic Pulp feel but it also has a quiet intensity. In fact, is it just me or does its backing sound a bit like “Creep” by Radiohead? OK, just me then. Anyway, its No 8 chart peak was a relief to Cocker at least who was pleased to have got a song about growing old and dying so far up the charts. However, the parent album it came from – “This Is Hardcore” – failed to match the sales of its predecessor shifting a tenth of the units that “Different Class” did. What I remember most about the album is they hugely long final track “The Day After The Revolution” which clocked in at a mammoth 14 minutes 56 seconds the majority of which was what felt like a never ending fade out. We nearly got caught out by that a few times when playing the album in the Our Price where I worked in Stockport.

Aqua remains at No 1 with “Barbie Girl” and for this performance singer Lene Nystrøm is channeling her inner Mike Nesmith as she’s donned a woolly hat. Ironically, their bubblegum hit was just the sort of saccharine, sweet pop that Nesmith rallied against when he was in The Monkees as he strove for creative control of the band. Legend has it that the straw that broke the camel’s back was that they were told they had to record “Sugar, Sugar” and Nesmith refused whilst putting his fist through the wall of a hotel in anger at the idea. The song would be a hit for fictional cartoon band The Archies becoming a No 1 hit in both the UK and the US in 1969. In some ways, “Barbie Girl” mirrored “Sugar, Sugar” both in terms of its chart performance and pure pop sound. However, I don’t think there was any deeper meaning going on in lyrics like “Oh sugar, oh honey honey, you are my candy girl and you got me wanting you” unlike “Barbie Girl” which sought to make a subversive social comment on the inherent misogyny of the values attached to the Barbie doll. Apparently. However, “Sugar Sugar” was bestowed with the honour of soundtracking the Apollo 12 space mission when it was one of the songs astronaut Alan Bean chose to play during the journey to the moon. Not to be outdone, a Barbie doll based upon the first female commander of the International Space Station Samantha Cristoforetti spent six months orbiting the Earth with her in 2022.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Backstreet Boys	As Long As You Love Me	Nope
2	Natalie Imbruglia	Torn	Liked it, didn’t buy it
3	Embrace	All You Good Good People	No but I had the album
4	Peter Andre	Lonely	Of course not
5	Toni Braxton	How Could An Angel Break My Heart	Negative
6	Michael Bolton	The Best Of Love	Never
7	Pulp	Help The Aged	I did not
8	Aqua	Barbie Girl	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026dt5/top-of-the-pops-review-of-the-year-2024

TOTP 10 OCT 1997

Posted on April 23 by 80stastic

Three days after this TOTP broadcast, Zoe Ball and Kevin Greening hosted their first Radio 1 breakfast show having replaced Mark and Lard who were shifted to an afternoon slot. On the same day, Chris Evans, who Mark and Lard replaced, started his own breakfast show on Virgin Radio. I was never quite sure why it didn’t work out for Radcliffe and Riley in that morning slot because I used to love their afternoon show which I always used to have on in the back room of the record shop I worked in if I was in there on my own. Maybe their brand of humour didn’t sit well with people on the move in a morning? That their show wasn’t pitched at the right pace? I never used to listen to Ball and Greening so I have no opinion on whether they were any better and I can’t be bothered to look up RAJAR listener figures to compare but I’m guessing that they weren’t as big a draw as Chris Evans?

Anyway, the presenter for this TOTP also had a history of replacing Mark Radcliffe but only on a temporary basis. Mark Lamarr had sat in for Radcliffe’s late night Radio 1 show as guest presenter occasionally. Ah, so maybe that’s why he was being considered as part of the TOTP host roster at this time – he had some BBC radio credentials as well as his roles as team captain on Shooting Stars and host of Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I was wondering about that in a previous post. This was the third of fourth time that he’d hosted the show and he gets this one off to a very odd start. Having done away with any theme tune, new executive producer Chris Cowey brings it back for this one show after Lamarr seemingly takes too long learning his opening intro. A reader of this blog did alert me recently that this was coming but I wasn’t prepared for the bizarre optics we actually got – Lamarr’s face on a big bank of screens checking with someone off camera what the top of the show intro is before he then gets cut off abruptly and we get the titles and the old theme tune and then straight into the opening act. It just looks odd though I’m guessing it was meant to be an attempt at humour.

Anyway, said opening act are…a bunch of 12 year olds by the look of them. Who on earth were Catch? I know I say this all the time and it’s made worse by the fact that I was working in a record shop back then but I can’t remember this lot at all. The band’s backstory is that they emerged from a previous incarnation of a group headed by singer Toby Slater called Brattish who never actually gigged nor released anything. Slater was involved in the short lived ‘Romo’ movement…hang on. The what? I have no memory of that either which apparently was based around two club nights (Club Skinny in Camden and the West End’s Arcadia). Its sound was characterised by being either art glam, Hi-NRG/Handbag House or a cross between Adam Ant, Roxy Music, Pulp and Blur depending on who you talked to. There were specific bands allied to the movement of whom I’ve never heard of any (Plastic Fantastic or DexDex Ter anyone?) but it generally seemed to be a rejection of the back-to-basics approach of Britpop. It sounds to me like it was just a re-invention of the New Romantics. According to those in the know though, Catch were more indie-pop than Romo and I guess you could describe their only UK Top 40 hit “Bingo” as that. However, it’s not your standard indie fare. It has an intriguing quality to it. The verses have a tinny sounding rhythm track that reminds me almost of something that Frank Sidebottom would have warbled along to. Slater’s vocal gives a nod to Jilted John of “Gordon is a moron” fame (aka John Shuttleworth aka Graham Fellows) before the chorus explodes into life. I can’t deny that I quite like it in a juvenile kind of way. The lyrics describe a rites-of-passage, journey of discovery by the song’s protagonist who admits he’s 17 (Slater was actually 18 at the time of this TOTP performance) and knows nothing of the world with his carnal knowledge especially weak so he goes to a red light district to…erm…enlighten himself. Slater’s youthful appearance helps to deliver the message.

“Bingo” would peak at No 23 but a follow up single just missed the Top 40. An album remained unreleased in this country and was only made available in Indonesia. In a bizarre and unwanted pop history footnote, “Bingo” was the song being played on a repeat of The Chart Show in the early hours of 31 August 1997 when the programme was interrupted by ITV to announce the death of Princess Diana. They never stood a chance did they? After splitting in 1999, Slater formed a couple more bands without commercial success and would tragically die aged just 42 in 2021.

From edgy teenagers to what many would call the definition of musical blandness. Is that discrediting of the Lighthouse Family fair? Or is it just an inevitable consequence of gaining popularity by playing a fusion of easy listening and soul music that appealed to the masses? I’m sure that back then, I would have balked at the idea of admitting even the slightest liking of them to my way cooler record shop work colleagues but was I actually at the other extreme of the spectrum holding onto a hatred of them? No, I don’t think so. I saw somebody online describe them as “offensively inoffensive” which I guess equates to someone being described as ‘nice’ (though I wouldn’t knock that description given the character of the people currently running the world).

“Raincloud” was the lead single from their second album “Postcards From Heaven” but they didn’t suffer from ‘difficult second album syndrome’ like some have in the annals of pop history (Stone Roses, ABC, The Jam) – it sailed to No 2 in the charts and went four times platinum in the UK. It seemed that there were more believers in than dissenters of their mainstream sound. Listening back to “Raincloud” though, those accusations of the band’s style lacking substance and being lightweight may not have been that wide of the mark – it’s fairly unremarkable fare. The next single was “High” which is widely regarded as their best tune (maybe). I guess we’ll be seeing that one in a BBC4 repeat soon enough. For now, I’ll leave the final word to Peep Show’s Super Hans…

The next performance is just weird. Ironically, the song being performed is completely mundane and ordinary. It’s the staging that I’m taken aback by. So, some details first. The artist is The Seahorses who are in the studio to perform their third hit single “Love Me And Leave Me”. The track was co-written by John Squire and one Liam Gallagher, a fact which Mark Lamarr has taken to run with for a cheap gag in setting up his intro as he suggests Liam’s only contribution to the song was coming up with the word “and” in its title. It’s not a very funny line and I’ve heard it done better in a self deprecating way by Andrew Ridgeley of Wham! When interviewed by Simon Bates on Radio 1 which words did he contribute to the writing of “Careless Whisper” he replied “the…and…”. Anyway, Lamarr proceeds to stroke Squire’s knee for some unfathomable reason and then hangs around on stage while the band performs for about half of the song. What was all that about? Was he channeling the spirit of that 1971 TOTP performance by the Faces when they invited John Peel on stage with them to mime playing the mandolin? If that wasn’t weird enough, why are there nearly a dozen random people dotted about the stage looking bored? Why are the band (except singer Chris Helme) all seated? Why…well, just why?

As for the song, it’s no “Love Is The Law”. In fact, it’s pretty dull which, on reflection, was a disappointing state of affairs just three singles into the band’s career. It starts off like a companion piece to John Lennon’s “God” with its lyrics about not believing in Jesus nor Jah but then just sort of drifts off into a cosmic trance with Helme singing about ‘astral bars’ and ‘heaven here on earth’. It’s all very unsatisfying which pretty much sums up The Seahorses. They would only release one more single before splitting up. John Squire would return to that writing partnership with Liam Gallagher 27 years later when they recorded an album together that would top the UK charts.

Did someone mention the Faces earlier? Yes me, obviously. Well, I’m going to mention them again because the next hit shares the same name as one of their songs (and albums). The 1997 “Ooh La La” by Coolio wasn’t anything to do with the English rockers though but rather it owed a lot to Grace Jones and her classic track “Pull Up To The Bumper” which it samples. So much of a debt did it owe to the esteemed Ms Jones that she was repaid with a writing credit on Coolio’s hit for a hit indeed it was peaking at No 14 though it would be his last in the UK. Just as well if this was an example of the direction he was going in. The lyrics to this one are just a load of sexual innuendo. “Deep in the pink”, “Stalk through the bush” and “keep it all wet all weekend” are just some of his double entendres that Viz’s Finbarr Saunders character would have found juvenile. At some points, he can’t even be bothered to disguise his filth and so we get lyrics like:

“Pull up your skirt and we can do it on the pool table…Your nipples look so tender, can I twirl ‘em in my mouth like a blender”

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Sly Dunbar / Robbie Shakespeare / Dana Manno / Artis L. Jr. Ivey
Ooh La La lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Boo Daddy Publishing, Oji Music, Chenana Music, Songs Of Polygram Int., Inc., Polygram Int. Publishing, Inc., Ixat Music, Inc.

Gulp! That last line can’t have got through the BBC censors surely? Let me watch the performance back with subtitles on…

Well, I can’t hear exactly what Coolio is rapping as it’s muffled (presumably on purpose) but the subtitles have replaced ‘nipples’ with ‘knees’ because that makes sense! I know “Pull Up To The Bumper” was also accused of having sexual innuendo hidden in its lyrics but it was surely more subtle than this twaddle?! Aside from all the nastiness, I think there’s a case for another writer credit in addition to Grace Jones as the chorus is filled with the phrase “doo-wa-diddy” as in “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” as made famous by Manfred Mann but actually written by Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich. Well, Coolio’s first album was called “It Takes A Thief”.

Andrew Roachford has had a lengthy and remarkable career in music – he’s been at it for nigh on 40 years, released twelve studio albums with his band, been in Mike + The Mechanics and, in 2019, was awarded an MBE for services to music. However, if success was judged purely on the number and size of his hit singles, it wouldn’t look so impressive. I make it eight Top 40 entries over a 36 year period and look at the peak positions for those eight:

4 – 25 – 22 – 21 – 36 – 38 – 20 – 34

The obvious ‘biggie’ is that first one which was “Cuddly Toy” from 1989. Do you think when an artist has one big hit early in their career that it becomes a millstone around their necks or are they just glad and proud to have had at least one? Anyway, the seventh of those hits was this one – “The Way I Feel” – which was the lead single from Roachford’s fourth studio album “Feel” and, against the odds, it would become his second biggest hit ever eight years after his first. It’s a pretty good tune but one I missed completely at the time. I’m pretty sure I saw him live at the Manchester Academy around 1994 but that was because the Sony rep who used to sell into the Our Price store I was working in put me on the guest list as we were both Chelsea fans!

As with Garbage and Skunk Anansie, Roachford is another artist whose back catalogue I should be better acquainted with. This scene from Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa shouldn’t be his only legacy…

After four years of constant hits including a No 1 no less with their last single release, bizarrely, the time of Eternal was almost at an end (not so eternal after all then). Maybe they (or their label or management) knew their sell by date was fast approaching as, in a not necessarily obvious move, instead of mining their “Before The Rain” album (which had only been out for six months) for more hits, they went straight to a Greatest Hits project. Now you’d usually expect that type of release if a group had formally announced that they were splitting up (as per Take That) not at the point of a commercial high. And yet, the Greatest Hits album was a success – No 2 in the charts, three times platinum selling, the highest selling hits package of the year and in 2013 was confirmed as the biggest selling best-of album by an all girl group in the UK.

To promote the Greatest Hits, a new song “Angel Of Mine” was released as a single. To my ears, it’s a serviceable R&B ballad but not much more and yet in America, where it was released by Monica, it went to No 1 and was the third best selling single of the year over there. Eternal’s version peaked at No 4 and would be their final Top 10 hit – of their fourteen singles released up to that point, only two had not made the Top 10. It was also the group’s last single as a trio as Kéllé Bryan left the group after being sacked by fax by Vernie and Easther Bennett’s solicitor with the sisters citing “a breakdown in professional relations”. The UK record buying public had little desire for an Eternal duo though and they would achieve just one more Top 20 single before bowing out of the music business. Numerous reunions have taken place over the years though never with all four original members. That holy grail line up for the fans was nearly green lit in 2023 but was nipped in the bud after Louise and Kéllé withdrew following the Bennett sisters apparent refusal to play LGBTQ Pride events.

I’ve said it before but I’m saying it again – I don’t/didn’t get the Backstreet Boys. I know I wasn’t their target audience (I was 29 at this point) but I just couldn’t see their appeal. Yes, they had some very slickly produced pop songs but they were just a poor man’s New Kids On The Block weren’t they? They weren’t even that good looking! “As Long As You Love Me” was a textbook example of their output. A mid-tempo ballad that was perfect for daytime radio playlists (I still hear it played on stations like Magic to this day) but oh so dull. No, not dull…cynical. A song concocted by an evil, mad pop scientist in the laboratory of dark and terrible music.

As with Mark Lamarr at the opening of the show, there’s something disconcerting about the set up of these performances with the artist having a backdrop of giant TV screens behind with their huge fizzogs plastered all over them whilst they run through the song on stage. It’s all a bit overbearing and, in the case of Eternal who had the same arrangement for their appearance immediately before the Backstreet Boys, disorientating as the order of the group on the screens wasn’t the same as where the girls were standing on stage (even though Kéllé and Vernie swapped positions halfway through).

Elton John remains at No 1 with “Candle In The Wind ‘97” / “Something About The Way You Look Tonight”. Despite it being the best selling single in UK chart history, it didn’t guarantee Elton’s next release being a huge hit. “Recover Your Soul”, taken from “The Big Picture” album would only manage a chart high of No 16 which, proportionally, must be one of the biggest drops in popularity between releases ever. Off the top of my head, I can think of the Bee Gees following up their chart topper “You Win Again” with the single “E.S.P.” which stalled at No 51 but the Elton scenario is next level I think.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Catch	Bingo	Nope
2	Lighthouse Family	Raincloud	I did not
3	The Seahorses	Love Me And Leave Me	Negative
4	Coolio	Ooh La La	Never
5	Roachford	The Way I Feel	It’s another no
6	Eternal	Angel Of Mine	Nah
7	Backstreet Boys	As Long As You Love Me	As if
8	Elton John	Candle In The Wind ‘97 / Something About The Way You Look Tonight	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0029vc0/top-of-the-pops-10101997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 17 JAN 1997

Posted on January 16 by 80stastic

The day before this TOTP aired, Chris Evans resigned from Radio 1 leaving his former employer with a huge breakfast show sized hole in their schedule. The tipping point for Evans was station controller Matthew Bannister’s refusal to grant him Fridays off from hosting the show so he could prepare for his Channel 4 programme TFI Friday. Bannister had already turned a blind eye to multiple misdemeanours pulled by Evans during the course of his tenure including turning up late for work, going on a 17 hour bender that only ended two hours before he was due on air and broadcasting tasteless, innuendo-laden jokes. Bannister had already doubled Evans’ holiday entitlement but his star’s continued demands couldn’t be met indefinitely and he finally refused. Evans ego was so out of control at this point that he couldn’t handle someone saying ‘no’ to him and flounced off in a strop being replaced by Mark and Lard. I wonder if there are any huge egos on tonight’s show?

Tonight’s host is Scottish comedian Rhona Cameron whom I’m guessing won’t have had any ideas above her station as she was very early on in her career and was probably very grateful for the opportunity of prime time TV exposure. In fact, if I think of Rhona Cameron, I think of her ‘Sometimes’ speech in the first ever series of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here which was in 2002. I’m surprised then that she was on our screens as early as 1997. Her first job is to introduce the Lightning Seeds who open the show with their latest single “Sugar Coated Icebergs”. Now, I do remember this one due to its peculiar title but I wasn’t sure how it went until I realised it was the same as all the other ones! Too harsh? Yes, of course it is and as I’ve said before in this blog, I don’t mind the Lightning Seeds at all but Ian Broudie (who always comes across as an unassuming guy and the polar opposite of Chris Evans) sure didn’t mind ploughing the same furrow over and over.

As the caption says, this one was written with Stephen Jones of Babybird and speculation was rife that it was about drugs. The lyrics about ‘sinking deep’ and ‘going under’ do kind of support that notion but the song’s bouncing, uplifting sound undermines that idea for me. One thing I did notice about it though was that its structure did seem to be changed to accommodate the lyrics rather. For example, in the first verse, the tempo is modified to allow the words ‘pointless’ and ‘coated’ to be worked in as the lines they are in don’t scan otherwise. Maybe that was Broudie’s way of trying to shake up the formula ever so slightly? “Sugar Coated Icebergs” would debut at its peak position of No 12 meaning that, excluding “Three Lions”, the Lightning Seeds still hadn’t ever had a Top 10 single despite having had double figures Top 40 hits. When it did come with their next single release which made No 8, it was with a cover version – “You Showed Me” by The Turtles. Still, “Three Lions” did go to No 1 three times in total and not many artists have that on their CV.

Now then, whether this was a case of egos out of control à la Chris Evans or not, what is true is that, just like the recently departed Radio 1 DJ, East 17 were attracting plenty of press that wasn’t positive. Let’s try and get the timeline of events correct here. This TOTP was broadcast on Friday 17 January but the shows were traditionally recorded on the Wednesday so that would have been the 15th. Lead singer Brian Harvey did a radio interview on the Thursday morning (16th) in which he advocated the use of recreational drugs and divulged details of his own intake. All hell broke loose as the media got hold of the story and Harvey was roundly criticised – it was even brought up at Prime Minister’s Questions on the lunchtime when John Major condemned Harvey’s words. By the end of Thursday, with the controversy still raging, the rest of the band distanced themselves from Harvey’s comments and he, himself, apologised for what he had said. Come Friday, the other three members of the group effectively sacked Harvey for unacceptable behaviour and threatened to sue him for loss of potential earnings.

All of this occurred just hours after this TOTP performance so I wonder if we can pick up on any tension between the four guys on stage. Remember that there had been doubts about Harvey’s commitment in the weeks before this incident – he’d actually quit the band before Christmas before quickly changing his mind. Rhona Cameron adds to the strained relations by pondering whether the group would split up in her intro. Watching the appearance back, I notice that Harvey is kept well away from Tony Mortimer with whom he had a difficult relationship – I don’t think they look at each other once. Harvey, for his part, looks uneasy with his hands in his pockets for some of the time. There’s also a lot going on in the background with a multitude of other people on the stage including a guy with a weird percussion contraption. It’s as if they were deliberately placed there to deflect attention from the group. Ultimately it would be Mortimer who would leave the band with Harvey reinstated as they attempted a comeback as a rebranded E-17.

What’s that? The song? Oh yeah, almost forgot about that. It was called “Hey Child” and was taken from their “Around The World: The Journey So Far” Best Of album. I don’t remember it at all and listening to it now, it seems like a slight, pure pop ballad that wasn’t very representative of their sound. I guess you could say the same thing about their most famous song “Stay Another Day” but “Hey Child” seems especially twee whereas their Christmas No 1 has a bit more gravitas. It would fall from its debut at No 3 to No 15 the following week. Was that drop off typical of the life cycle of singles back then or was it linked to the furore the band found themselves enveloped in? I’m not sure but I think this may well be the last TOTP appearance of the original line up of East 17.

Following quickly in the footsteps of this week’s No 1 comes another dance remix of an earlier track this time from Lisa Stansfield. Having first appeared in the charts back in 1989 as guest vocalist on the Coldcut hit “People Hold On”, Rochdale’s second most famous resident had gone on to bag herself a stellar career as a solo artist complete with multi platinum selling albums and a No 1 single. Despite all her success, Lisa always struck me as a down to earth sort – more Gracie Fields than airs and graces and certainly no Chris Evans character.

By 1997, she was about to release her fourth album so as a precursor to that, a remix of that first hit was released as “People Hold On (The Bootleg Mixes)”. Behind the remix were Dan Bewick and Matt Frost known as the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels whose treatment of the track took it to No 4 beating Coldcut’s chart peak by seven places. Unlike the Tori Amos remix though which totally restructured the original, this one just sounded like a poor man’s version of the 1989 hit to me. Even the video just features some recycled clips of promos for previous Stansfield hits rather than a brand new recording. It’s as if Lisa didn’t want anything to do with it. Whether she did or didn’t, her label Arista included it in that fourth album when it was released in the March as a bonus track. I guess it was just business at the end of the day and the music industry certainly had its share of dirty rotten scoundrels.

The 90s brought us some truly awful dance artists and tracks and this lot certainly fall into that category. Anybody remember No Mercy? They were a Latin American trio who were discovered by Frank Farian, the man who gave us 70s disco- cheesemakers Boney M and 80s pop blaggers Milli Vanilli. And now he was back with an act for the 90s, whether we wanted them or not. I was definitely of the latter opinion but enough people were of the former to send their hit “Where Do You Go” to No 2 in the UK. Yet again, the British record buying public had showed us that they could not be trusted with the nation’s reputation.

The song was built around the drumbeat from the Todd Terry remix of Everything But The Girl’s “Missing” (which they had already covered for their first single) but with some Spanish guitar flourishes, a line from that 60s hit by Peter Sarstedt and a shout-a-long chorus that wouldn’t have been out of place on an Outhere Brothers hit. What a remarkably talented bunch this lot were – and I thought Milli Vanilli were chancers! Like a floater that won’t flush away, the single lingered around the Top 40 for 14 weeks, 9 of them inside the Top 10 stinking the place out. No Mercy? NO! MERCY! FOR PITY’S SAKE MERCY!

Next to one of the most surprising comebacks of the decade. Hands up who had Texas down for scoring the fifth best selling album of the year?

*scans virtual room*

No you bloody didn’t! This was a band who’d only ever had one Top 10 hit eight years before and who last two albums had been, if not totally ignored, then studiously avoided. Nobody had them down for a Top 3 hit single at the start of 1997. So how did they do it? Well, they softened their sound it seemed to me. There was a big difference between the slide guitar licks and pounding backbeat of “I Don’t Want A Lover” and the smooth, radio friendly sound of “Say What You Want”. Their second biggest hit to this point had been a cover of Al Green’s “Tired Of Being Alone” so maybe they took inspiration from that when it came to writing songs for their fourth studio album “White On Blonde” although clearly its title was influenced by Bob Dylan’s “Blonde On Blonde”. Its lead single though was more Marvin Gaye than Zimmerman.

There was another factor in its chart success other than the way it sounded and it was to do with that man Chris Evans again. One of the last things he did before leaving Radio 1 was to champion “Say What You Want”. Given his reach at time via his breakfast show and TFI Friday, this was no small endorsement. However, I don’t think that lead singer and face of the band Sharleen Spiteri is similar to Evans in the ego stakes. Indeed, I once heard her say in an interview that she never has the lyrics to the band’s songs including in the sleeve notes as she encourages people to hear what they want to hear even if that means misinterpreting the actual words. That doesn’t sound like someone who has a ‘me, me, me‘ attitude. Texas would become one of the biggest selling artists of the late 90s and beyond. “White On Blonde” alone would shift 4 million units and generate five hit singles. Say what you want about the band but they had remarkable staying power and commitment to never give up.

Here’s someone with an ego that outdoes even Chris Evans. To be fair to Madonna, how could you not when you were* one of the most famous people on the planet? Was recording “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” on her bucket list do you think? I’m pretty sure playing the role of Eva Peron in Evita was a lifetime ambition. We’d all been waiting for this song to be released from the soundtrack to the 1996 film after a new composition written specifically for it (“You Must Love Me”) had been the lead single. Maybe it was held back for the Christmas market with her record company thinking it had a shot at being the festive chart topper? When it did finally arrive, it debuted at No 3 before slipping down the charts but it’s on this TOTP as it had gone back up the charts from No 10 to No 5 presumably due to the film being released to UK cinemas.

*the use of ‘were’ was deliberate

There was another reason though and that was the release of the dance remix of the track. A dance remix you say? Of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”? Who knew? Well, not me and I was working in a record shop at the time so either I never sold a copy of it or I’ve completely forgotten about it. Either is possible. Want to hear it? Yeah you do…

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I just didn’t get why the Backstreet Boys were so popular. I accept that I was in the minority in this opinion; their huge sales here and in America can’t be argued with and even the press had a lot of nice things to say about them but I thought they were tosh. Were they good looking (surely a pre-requisite for a boy band)? Not so you’d notice apart from maybe the blonde one. Were their songs any good? Look, I know the answer to that is going to be subjective but they sounded so pedestrian to me. Take “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)” for example. It’s just a constant, one paced backbeat throughout that never goes anywhere. And why the need for the brackets in the title? Look, I know they didn’t write the song so they had no input into that particular decision but not writing your own material isn’t a tick in the plus column. Maybe they’ll liven up a bit when we get to their later hits. I won’t hold my breath though.

Now here’s a great song from a band who enjoyed massive success in the latter part of the decade but this track – “Nancy Boy” – is the only one of theirs that is permanently deposited in my brain bank. Placebo had already released four singles up to this point but their only Top 40 success thus far had been No 30 hit “Teenage Angst”. However, they had come to the attention of one David Bowie who invited the band to open for him on some live dates in 1996 and subsequently to perform at his 50th birthday celebration at New York’s Madison Square Garden. The endorsement of such a legendary figure couldn’t help but raise their profile and “Nancy Boy” duly became a No 4 smash when released in early 1997.

A jagged, brooding and bruising song, it was also very sexual in its nature and according to lead singer Brian Molko, had been written to “capture a kind of drug induced sexual rush”. Perhaps not the standard message behind a big hit when the charts were populated by the likes of Backstreet Boys, No Mercy and Madonna singing Andrew Lloyd Webber songs. I guess though that Placebo weren’t your average band. Molko’s androgynous image in particular (which was similar to Jas Mann’s from Babylon Zoo) attracted attention (not all of it welcome) as they sort to rebel against the laddishness of Britpop culture. Talking of which, I always assumed Placebo were a US band but they formed in London and Molko was born in Belgium though his father was American.

In an interesting parallel with the storm engulfing East 17 at the time, Molko would give an interview to Kerrang magazine in this year where he said the only drug on the planet he hadn’t tried was heroin before later admitting he’d had that too. I don’t recall nationwide outrage to that confession like Harvey’s interview generated but then maybe the two incidents aren’t comparable. East 17, for all their ‘street’ claims were still a boy band and boy bands weren’t meant to behave in the way Harvey had admitted to. Molko was openly bisexual and had a counter culture image. Was it a case of dismissing him as ‘other’ and therefore anything he did or said would be perceived within those preconceptions? Whatever the truth, we’ll be seeing much more of Placebo in future TOTP repeats.

Tori Amos is No 1 with “Professional Widow (It’s Got To Be Big)” although really all the plaudits should have gone to Armand van Helden as the remixer responsible for this creation. Interestingly, the other dance remix in the charts featured on this show earlier does give equal billing to the remix team and the original artist as “People Hold On” is credited to Lisa Stansfield versus the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Was this a case of record label interference or that theme that we started the post with – artist ego?

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Lightning Seeds	Sugar Coated Icebergs	Nope
2	East 17	Hey Child	I did not
3	Lisa Stansfield versus the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels	People Hold On	Nah
4	No Mercy	Where Do You Go	Hell no
5	Texas	Say What You Want	No but I had a promo copy of the album
6	Madonna	Don’t Cry For Me Argentina	Negative
7	Backstreet Boys	Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)	Never
8	Placebo	Nancy Boy	No but I think I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations
9	Tori Amos	Professional Widow (It’s Got To Be Big)	Liked it, didn’t buy it

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00fsvjy/top-of-the-pops-17011997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 15 NOV 1996

Posted on December 5 by 80stastic

Why oh why didn’t we have more of this calibre of ‘golden mic’ presenter? Having four of The Fast Show cast in character was a genius move by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill. Or was it his decision? Did it come from higher up within the BBC to promote the first (and so far only) The Fast Show Christmas Special that was aired on 27 December of this year? Whatever the truth, the turn by Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Mark Williams and John Thomson was so much better than the usual standard we’ve seen from the majority of these celebrity hosts. It was certainly a vast improvement on the drivel many of the old Radio 1 DJs used to shovel at us (yes, obviously I’m pointing at you Simon Mayo). We start with the characters of Ted and Ralph who are straight into their uncomfortable relationship mode. I especially like the way Ted says he doesn’t know about Boyzone (sir) but then immediately informs Ralph that Take That have split up.

The first act they introduce is Robert Miles and Maria Nayler with a track called “One And One”. Miles, of course, was the poster boy of the dream house movement and had scored a massive hit earlier in the year with “Children”. Unlike that song and follow up “Fable” which were both instrumentals, this one had actual singing in it courtesy of Nayler who had started her music career with the band Ultraviolet who I’d heard of but had no idea what they sounded like. Someone who did though and who liked what he heard was DJ and producer Sasha who sought Nayler out to record the track “Be As One” which became a Top 20 UK hit earlier in 1996. This would peak the interest of Robert Miles who similarly made contact with Nayler to collaborate on the song “One And One” – clearly Maria had a thing about songs with the word ‘one’ in the title.

So what was this ‘new’ sound like? Well, it was like “Children” with vocals wasn’t it? If you liked that sort of thing then good luck to you but for me it was all fairly insubstantial. If I’ve said this once, I’ve said it hundreds of times but the record buying public didn’t agree with me and sent it to No 3 in the UK charts. However, the dream house phenomenon would peter out from this point on (although it probably morphed into something else). Miles would have just one further UK chart hit (bizarrely with a Sledge Sister) and he himself would pass away in 2017 from metastatic cancer aged just 47.

Next up are Mrs Ted’s favourites the Backstreet Boys. I’m sorry Mrs Ted but I could never understand the appeal of this lot. Awful name, useless songs and most of them were not even that good looking. Without wishing to sound too Little Englander about it, didn’t we have enough boy bands of our own without making space for New Kids In The Block 2.0? Take this song “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” for example. It’s just a sub par version of something Boyz II Men might have released. Somehow though, I still hear their songs played on the radio to this day. Maybe it’s me that’s got it all wrong? Nah, couldn’t be but even if liking the Backstreet Boys was being in the right, I’d rather be wrong. In fact, I want it that way (ahem).

Somebody put some thought into this running order (though clearly not “I’ll Get Me Coat” man who does the intro) as we segue from “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” to “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton. Just like Robert Miles’ “One And One” from earlier, this single had a remarkable chart life partly helped by the fact there was a ballad version and a dance version of the single available to buy. Look at these chart positions though:

4 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 4 – 2 – 4

That’s eleven weeks inside the Top 5 with a climb down the chart being reversed on three separate occasions. Compare that to the chart record of “One And One”:

6 – 6 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 6

Incredible really that two records in the charts at the same time could display such consistency of sales. Working in Our Price at the time, that pattern of sales would also have been hard to order for with the question “surely it’s going to tail off next week?” always in the back of the singles buyer’s mind. Interesting that “One And One” spent three consecutive weeks at No 6. The devil’s music perhaps?

We were always going to see Jazz Club’s Louis Balfour weren’t we and John Thomson duly delivers. It’s the plausible detail of the script that makes this character funny for me – the names of the fictional artists and songs that Balfour introduces that are simultaneously ludicrous and believable. He’s on form in this link referencing Peter Python and The Bop and a track called “Beat My Feet Sweet”. Nice! Not nice though was the real act that he introduces – The Woolpackers with “Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll”. Whose shameless and shameful idea was this to cash in on the line dancing phenomenon that was sweeping the country around this time?! Presumably some executive producer at Emmerdale from where this grotesque abomination originated. I’ve never watched the soap much – it was the one that I could never really get into – and this single wasn’t going to tempt me in.

Supposedly, the group that consisted of three cast members actually featured in a plot line of the show but I couldn’t tell you what the story was. All I knew was that this was a terrible record engineered to fleece fans of the soap or those people who would only come into a record shop once a year at Christmas. Somehow this pile of crap got to No 5 and spent ten weeks inside the Top 40. They repeated the grift the following Christmas with another line dancing song called “Line Dance Party” (the thought that must have gone into naming it!) and there were two whole albums released off the back of this initial nonsense. Here’s a thought, after you’ve done your cha cha slides, your brushes and your heel fans, here’s another move for all those involved in this record – it’s called the ‘hang your head in shame’ and that includes TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill for having it on the show.

In 1995, Michael Jackson had the UK Christmas No 1. Twelve months on and his Yuletide offering was still being sourced from his “HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I” album but “Stranger In Moscow” was no “Earth Song”. In fact, despite its chart peak of No 4, I don’t remember this one at all. I think I can be forgiven as it’s the somnambulist’s anthem, sleepwalking its way from start to finish. Indeed, it’s 65bpm makes it one of Jackson’s slowest songs.

A ballad about loneliness, it apparently drew on Jackson’s personal experience of walking through the city at night alone looking for someone, anyone to talk to. The Russian angle was meant to highlight his feelings of fear and alienation though lyrics like “Armageddon of the brain”, “Stalin’s tomb won’t let me be” and “KGB was doggin’ me” all seem rather clunky and ham fisted. Supposedly the track’s origins came from a bizarre source – the credits theme for the computer game Sonic The Hedgehog 3. What this?

Oh my God! I think I can hear a similarity! And here’s another similarity – a cover of “Stranger In Moscow” by a band I’d never heard of before but whose version actually turns the track (for me) into a decent song. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge and dismiss.

Right, so I’ve now watched the first part of the Boybands Forever documentary on iPlayer and it dealt specifically with the rise of and rivalry between Take That and East 17. It starts with a clip of the latter’s Brian Harvey smashing up a disc for 1 million sales of East 17 records in a fit of rage. The clip was dated as being from 2015 and sees Harvey ranting about grief he’s getting from the police, the CPS, the court system before he finally says turns on the music industry. Now, you may have seen that Harvey has been posting a lot of videos of himself lately where he talks/shouts about conspiracies and cover ups and being censored. His ex-band mate John Hendy got involved by posting a reply video telling Harvey to shut up and move on. Brian, predictably, did neither. Reading between the lines, Harvey seems to be insinuating that events took place during the band’s career that should have warranted an Operation Yewtree style investigation and that they have consistently been covered up and he wants to get the truth out there whatever the cost may be to him personally. He even referenced the recent death of Liam Payne as part of his conspiracy theory. I don’t know where the truth lies in this – why would I? – but all I’m going to say is that, in retrospect, having Ken and Kenneth the “Ooh! Suit you sir!” twins introduce East 17 and Gabrielle perform “If You Ever” hasn’t aged that well.

Ken and Kenneth really push the envelope with their next link to Prince by referring to him as the “purple-headed one” – I think we all understand that double entendre. I say Prince but I think he was officially known as that squiggly symbol thing by this point. Apparently, he’d always wanted to record “Betcha By Golly Wow!” that had originally been a hit for The Stylistics in 1972 but his record company Warners hadn’t allowed it so he got his way once he was free from contractual obligations to them and recorded it for his “Emancipation” album. I have to say that although it seems a logical choice given the range of Prince’s falsetto voice, I’m not sure he does a great job with it. If it was a shout for a penalty in a football match, you’d say that he made a meal of it. It did make No 11 in the UK which suggests the record buying public once again disagreed with me. However, aside from a rerelease of “1999” as the new millennium dawned, he would never have as big a hit in this country again.

In amongst the headlines that were fashioned by the press in the Gary Barlow v Robbie Williams battle, there was another contender for solo artist supremacy who rather went under the radar and yet, for me, his first solo single was better than both his ex-band mates’ efforts combined. The perceived wisdom was that Barlow was the talent when it came to writing songs and was therefore the most likely to succeed out on his own. Williams had generated a lot of press for himself but when it came to it, his first release was a cover version – where were your songs Robbie?

Tiptoeing a path through both came Mark Owen – the ~~pretty~~ young one as described by Ralph in his intro – and therein lay the issue for Owen, that he could be dismissed as just that. Even the TOTP caption adds to the condescending narrative by stating “Wrote this track himself” with the underlying tone being “Who would have thought it?” and yet “Child” is actually very good. Coming on like a cross between Donovan and David Cassidy, Owen delivered a sparkling, shimmering pop song that perfectly suited him vocally. With all due respect, Mark doesn’t have the biggest voice but he didn’t need one for this string drenched ballad. The chart positions for the debut singles by Barlow, Williams and Owen seemed to solidify in the minds of the public some sort of natural order with Gary’s “Forever Love” going to No 1, Robbie’s George Michael cover spinning to No 2 and Mark’s “Child” finding a home at No 3. Those three chart peaks were replicated for all three’s follow up singles as well. It was like some preordained medal podium for ex-members of Take That. Time would show that it would be Williams who would ultimately ascend to the gold medal position in terms of record sales but for Mark Owen it would never get better than a bronze medal. His album “Green Man” didn’t sell in bucket loads (we had a massive overstock in the Our Price where I was working after Head Office buyers mistakenly bought in loads of it thinking it was a surefire winner) and he was dropped by his label within a year. Winning the second series of Celebrity Big Brother in 2002 raised his profile again to the point where he bagged a Top 5 hit with “Four Minute Warning” but it was a case of diminishing returns after that until the Take That reunion in 2006. Mark has continued his solo career in parallel with the band and last released an album in 2022.

In an inspired move, Bob Fleming does the voice over for the Top 10 countdown which obviously means we don’t actually hear much of the Top 10 countdown. In pole position are Robson & Jerome for a second week with their triple A-side single “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. Mercifully, this would be their last ever release (excluding a Best Of and a Love Songs collection that would follow in later years) which makes me wonder if that was the reason behind this triple track product. Going out with a bang and a third No 1 single out of three. Would they have risked doing a Frankie Goes To Hollywood if they’d have gone for a fourth single and missed the top of the charts? Or was it as simple as they’d had enough of this pop star lark and wanted to get back to their day jobs? Presumably they had a contract with their record label RCA so maybe they’d just fulfilled their contractual obligations? Whatever the reason, I think this might be their final TOTP appearance (bar Christmas specials) and I think we can all say “thank f**k for that!”. The madness was over. As for The Fast Show, it would go on for a further two series with the cast reuniting for a 30 anniversary tour this year. Nice.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Robert Miles and Maria Nayler	One And One	Nope
2	Backstreet Boys	I’ll Never Break Your Heart	Never
3	Toni Braxton	Un-Break My Heart	I did not
4	The Woolpackers	Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll	As if
5	Michael Jackson	Stranger In Moscow	Nah
6	East 17 / Gabrielle	If You Ever	Sorry Brian – it’s a no
7	Prince	Betcha By Golly Wow!	No
8	Mark Owen	Child	Liked it, didn’t buy it
9	Robson & Jerome	What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk Alone	See 4 above

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00256xq/top-of-the-pops-15111996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 23 AUG 1996

Posted on October 23, 2024 by 80stastic

According to my 1996 diary, around this time I received a reward cheque for £50. What for? Well, back in the day, if a retail worker took a customer’s credit card out of circulation at the request of the card issuer, they would send you a cheque for that amount as a thank you. The way it would work is that the customer with the overspent card would try and buy something on it and when it was put through the PDQ machine, the display would show the message ‘contacting card issuer’ and you’d have to pick up the phone that was part of the machine and talk to the customer’s bank. They’d ask a couple of questions about the transaction and possibly ask to speak to them in person as well. The chances were that ultimately you would get asked to retain the card and cut it up in front of them before sending it back to the bank. The experience was both exciting (at the thought of the £50 reward) and unnerving (as to how the customer would react) at the same time. Mostly they would be sheepish and let you do what you had to do but not always. One in particular I remember went ballistic whilst talking to the bank shouting at the top of his voice “Don’t you know who I am?! I’m a knight of the f*****g realm!”. I don’t know what the person on the other end of the line said but it must have been withering as the customer gave me the phone back, said sorry and sloped off. Anyway, eventually the company I was working for (Our Price) changed their policy so that the reward cheques didn’t go to the individual but the shop (supposedly into a fund for a Xmas do or some such) but this reward must have predated that as it came directly to me. So, in honour of that and in view of the recent furore over concert ticket prices, I thought I’d play a game of £50 quid or gig with the artists on this episode of TOTP. Would I rather have pocketed the money or paid to see the artist live?*

*For the purposes of the game, I’m assuming gig prices from 1996 not nowadays.

We start with an easy one – there is no way on earth I would have preferred to see Ant & Dec doing their thing (whatever it was) live over 50 quid in my pocket. Did they even do proper gigs on an official tour? They might have supported Take That back in the day or maybe that was just a plot line in an episode of Derry Girls? This was their first single to be released under the moniker we all now know (i.e. their real names) as opposed to that of the fictional characters from Byker Grove PJ & Duncan. Quite why they persisted with calling themselves that long after they had ceased to appear in the show I’m not sure. It seems a like an oversight. The track itself – “Better Watch Out” – is an absolute stinker! Some cobblers about Ant (who gets to sing the verses) being beaten up by the brothers of a girl he’s trying it on with. The lyrics suggest he might be deserving of said punishment as he then pursues the girl’s sister before indicating he might set his sights on their mother. What a cad! It’s a nasty sentiment matched by a terrible song – I can imagine it being used to soundtrack some chase scene in 70s children’s show Here Come The Double Deckers!

£50 or gig? Cash every time

Ah, now this one is tricky because I have actually seen the artist live previously. Don’t take the piss! I know we’re talking about Bryan Adams here but this was years ago, years before this TOTP performance even. Back in 1987, whilst a student at Sunderland Poly, myself and a friend who was also a housemate, took ourselves off to the big smoke of Newcastle and caught Bryan live at the City Hall where he was supported by T’Pau (I mean it! Stop sniggering!). It was a top gig, it really was! He was promoting his “Into The Fire” album that had failed to shift many units in the UK but which I’d liked anyway. This was years before that Robin Hood song and his slow decline into a world of ever more dreary ballads and he rocked the joint. Fast forward nine years and guess what? He’s just released a dreary ballad! “Let’s Make A Night To Remember” was the second single from his “18 Til I Die” album and was a massive disappointment after its lead single, the fun-filled “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” which I had enjoyed. It’s so one paced and trudges along with Bry singing some lines that sound like he’d pinched them directly from the Ladybird Book of Hackneyed Lyrics. In short it was a duffer though somehow got him all the way to No 10 in our charts.

£50 or gig? If the gig was that one from 1987, I’d definitely go back in time to relive it. A 2024 concert? I’ll take the Benjamins thanks.

Another difficult one as I have seen Pet Shop Boys live and not that long ago; as recently as May 2022 in fact. It was a COVID delayed concert that should have taken place in 2020 and it was bloody marvellous! A date on the Dreamworld – The Greatest Hits Live tour, it did exactly what it said on the tin meaning that yes, they did play this track “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)”. The setlist.fm website tells me it was the ninth song of the night as part of a mini medley with “Single Bilingual”.

The second single released from the “Bilingual” album, it’s a joyously upbeat track which was well received by the music press and given a lot of radio support – it’s Summer release date (presumably planned to exploit its seasonal sound) certainly aided its playlist potential. The promo video being shot at a water theme park in Florida almost certainly had one eye on that Summer vibe as well though I can’t help thinking it would have been better if it was in colour and the single itself should possibly have been released earlier in the season.

Linguistically, the title isn’t quite correct. The English translation from the Portuguese of “Se a vida é” is “If life is…” and not “That’s the way life is…” which would be “A vida é assim”. Ah, you say tom-ay-to, I say tom-a-to. The single peaked at No 8 (it perhaps should have been higher) – they would never have a higher placing single throughout the 90s up until this day.

£50 or gig? I’m going gig every time on this one. It’s a sin not to.

This one’s going to be an easy decision as well. After the breakthrough of their first UK hit single earlier in 1996 with “Get Down (You’re The One For Me)”, the Backstreet Boys staked their claim as the next big teen sensation with follow up “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” which would debut at No 3. What a load of old toss this was. Recycling that horrible ‘ner ner ner na ner ner ner ner ner’ hook used previously by the likes of Montell Jordan and MN8 (and which Peter Andre would also adopt in a TOTP repeat coming very soon), this also made no sense grammatically. “We’ve got it goin’ on for years” the band sing but surely that should be “we’ve had it goin’ on for years”. Even if they’d got the grammar spot on it still wouldn’t have made sense as their first release came in 1995 so one year before this. That’s ‘year’ – singular. Maybe they were projecting into the future and meant “We’ll have it goin’ on for years” which would have been statistically accurate as, sadly, they continued to have hits for the rest of the 90s and into the new millennium. Clearly temporal clauses were not what they had going on.

This lot really were just New Kids On The Block revisited. An all male American group with five members making music for the female teenage market. They even had the same type of characters in the band. There’s the cute, young looking one, the taller, older one with facial hair, the street wise one etc etc. In the case of the last type, Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell literally looks like his NKOTB counterpart Donnie Wahlberg. He’s also responsible for some horrible wailing when he goes all Mariah Carey early on in the song where he over annunciates the word “go” as “go-ooh-aoow”. Deeply unnecessary and unpleasant. Horribly, we’ll be seeing lots more of these berks in future repeats.

£50 or gig? Show me the money!

After Bryan Adams earlier, we now have another dreary ballad although this one is also nonsensical. I criticised the lyrics to “Why?” by 3T and Michael Jackson the other week as being hopeless for lines like this:

Why does Monday come before Tuesday? Why do Summers start in June?

“Why Lyrics.” Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Oct. 2024.

A reader of the blog got in touch to point out that not only were the song words abysmal but also inaccurate as only half the planet has its summers start in June – the Southern Hemisphere has its summers start in December. Thank you to Essor for pointing that out.

Watching the video for this one (another one all in black and white just like the Pet Shop Boys earlier – it must have been a thing back then), I noticed that the guy from 3T with his rucksack has bought it back for the promo and he walks along a corridor with it dangling by his side. What was the point of this accessory? Did he gave a product placement deal with a rucksack manufacturer in place? Or was it just his trademark gimmick like Shades and his sunglasses in the film That Thing You Do! ?

£50 or gig? Despite a Michael Jackson concert being quite the event, I’d still take the cash especially if the support were 3T.

This is the third time in the show for OMC and “How Bizarre” and they’ll manage another brief appearance as the play out song before they’re done. It’s not surprising given how long the record spent on our charts (fourteen weeks on the Top 40 of which six were inside the Top 10). This week it was at its peak of No 5 but would spend a further three consecutive weeks holding at No 8.

As host Beerjte Van Beers says, OMC stood for Otara Millionaires Club however if you google OMC the top result is not the “How Bizarre” hitmakers but a fishing tackle and outdoor products manufacturer called One More Cast. They have a range called Terminal Tackle which includes such items as ‘Tweakers Touch Me Up’, ‘Revibed Blood Worm Tippers’ and ‘Vitabitz Ring Swivels Size 11’ which all sound like double entendres to my uneducated angling brain. As for seeing them live, surely it would descend into the sketch from The Big Train below:

£50 or gig? Cash please!

My interest in REM had started to wane by the mid 90s to the point that I had very little anticipation for the new single from their tenth studio album “New Adventures In Hi-Fi” called “E-Bow The Letter” (with Patti Smith no less on backing vocals). In fact, it just about passed me by but then that was possibly a lot of people’s experience as their first new song for a couple of years was not radio friendly. In fact, it was almost anti-playlist. That doesn’t make it a poor song though of course but by the band’s own admission, it wasn’t an obvious nor easy choice of lead single which their record company struggled with just as they had with “Drive” being the first track released from “Automatic For The People”. In fact, “E-Bow The Letter” actually sounds quite similar to “Drive” so there’s sonic as well as thematic similarities. On first listen, it does seem to be a bit all over the place and, whisper it, miserable. However, there’s beauty in misery and the overall effect is…well…quite affecting. The ‘E-Bow’ of the title is a device to induce sustained vibration in an electric guitar string whilst the ‘letter’ refers to a communication never sent by Stipe to his friend River Phoenix who had died of a drug overdose at the Viper Club in Los Angeles three years earlier whilst the band inside played a song called “Michael Stipe”. The track would become the band’s then highest charting single when it debuted at No 4 and its parent album would get to No 1 but a decline in sales for the band was clearly happening as the latter sold significantly less than either “Monster” or “Automatic For The People”.

£50 or gig? Now supposedly I passed up the chance to see REM live in 1988 on their tour in support of the “Green” album. What my enthralling other option was I could not tell you but I regret it, especially now the band have broken up so I’m going ‘gig’ on this one.

Next a song that was the first ever to achieve over one million airplays in America and yet it hardly ever seems to get played in this country… or so I thought until I heard it all the time on Magic Radio* recently. Donna Lewis is a classic one hit wonder – almost. A huge, enormous hit then nothing ever again. “I Love You Always Forever” would spend nine weeks (!) at No 2 in America behind Los Del Rio’s “Macarena” and go to No 5 here in the UK as part of a five week stay inside the Top 10.

*Yes, I know – Magic Radio – but in this scary world I sometimes need to hear something soothing.

That US success led me to believe that Donna was American but she’s actually Welsh, hailing from Cardiff with the success of her hit bringing her a BRIT award nomination in 1997 for Best British Female Artist. More success seemed inevitable but her album, though selling a million copies in the US, performed averagely everywhere else including over here where it peaked at No 52. She would have one more UK chart entry (denying her that classic one hit wonder status) with follow up single “Without Love” spending a week at No 39. She did perform a duet with Richard Marx for the 20th Century Fox animated film Anastasia in 1997 that was a hit on the Adult Contemporary Billboard chart but that really was it for chart success although Donna still records to this day with her latest album having been released this year.

So what was it about “I Love You Always Forever” that struck a chord with audiences and gold for Donna? Well, it strikes me that it has a timeless quality – it could have been a hit in the 80s as easily as it was in the 90s and Donna’s girlish voice (often compared to Cyndi Lauper) suited the almost nursery rhyme chant of the chorus perfectly. Ultimately though, it was a light, joyful song that almost seemed to bring hope to a world that so often seemed dark. One reviewer described listening to it as “catharsis” and that, presumably, is why I suddenly started hearing it on Magic radio in 2024.

£50 or gig? It’s the same scenario as the OMC gig. Sorry Donna, it’s got to be the money.

It’s a fifth week at the top for the Spice Girls and “Wannabe” so it’s probably time to talk about some of the lyrics of their debut single. First off is the elephant in the room – what the hell was “zigazig ah” all about?! Well, Marie Claire magazine reckoned they had the answer in a 2023 article:

One of Wannabe’s co-writers revealed that it was inspired by a saying on set: ‘Shit and cigars.’ Apparently, the Spice Girls shared a recording studio in Shoreditch with a famous musician and decided to give said celebrity this nickname. Why? Well the anonymous co-writer told The Sun: “There was this one eighties pop dude who hated us for encroaching on what he considered ‘his turf’ which was boy bands and girl bands. This guy had this nasty habit of taking a dump in the shared khazi while smoking a cigar, so we took to referring to him as ‘Shit and Cigars’.”

By Jamie Troy-Pride, published 20 April 2023 in News

Wonder who Mr Shit and Cigars was then? Cigars conjures up images of someone whom I don’t want to reference so let’s move on to the bit in the song where the group all get a name check. Marie Claire has the inside story on that too:

‘We’ve got Em in the place’ is likely a reference to Emma/Baby Spice who, apparently, ‘likes it in your face’. Pretty self explanatory. Then ‘we got G like MC’ (Geri and Mel C) who ‘like it on an e’ – this one really caught us off guard. Who knew that we’ve been unknowingly singing that for over twenty years? ‘Easy V’ actually gets it very easy because she doesn’t come for free – ‘she’s a real lady’, so congrats Posh. And Mel B’s is steeped in mystery as we’ll just have to see what she’s all about.

By Jamie Troy-Pride, published 1 August 2023 in Features

Not sure I needed to know that but it’s too late now. A final word about the people that the girls get up on stage with them for this TOTP performance. Do you think that was planned or spontaneous? The woman on the end in the hot pants next to Mel B looked like a bit of a ‘wannabe’ to me.

£50 or gig? Say you’ll be there? Sorry but I’ll be at home counting my 50 notes.

The play out track is “You’ll Be Mine (Party Time)” by Gloria Estefan. I don’t remember this one and have very little to say about it as a consequence so I’m going to rely on a tale I’ve told before about a friend from Poly who once asked if Emilio was Gloria’s brother having conflated the name Estevez with Estefan. In my friend’s defence, Gloria’s husband is called Emilio.

£50 or gig? Miami Sound Machine or Fifty Pound PDQ Machine? I’ll take the latter thanks.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Ant & Dec	Better Watch Out	I did and I swerved when I saw you coming – NO!
2	Bryan Adams	Let’s Make A Night To Remember	Nah
3	Pet Shop Boys	Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)	No but I had it on their Pop Art compilation
4	Backstreet Boys	We’ve Got It Goin’ On	Never
5	3T / Michael Jackson	Why?	As if
6	OMC	How Bizarre	No but my wife did
7	REM	E-Bow The Letter	Negative
8	Donna Lewis	I Love You Always Forever	Nope
9	Spice Girls	Wannabe	I did not
10	Gloria Estefan	You’ll Be Mine (Party Time)	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0023sy0/top-of-the-pops-23081996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 30 MAY 1996

Posted on September 4, 2024 by 80stastic

Those sneaky BBC4 schedulers have done me dirty by suddenly announcing with a day’s notice that the 1996 TOTP repeats are back. I thought I had at least another week to knock out this last remaining episode for review before they’d start again! Serves me right for dragging my feet I guess. Sadly, as well as being my favourite word, procrastination is also my middle name.

Before I crack on with this particular show, I should address the fact that we’ve missed one. The 23rd May episode was not repeated with the general consensus being that it was for reasons of sensitivity. One of the artists featured was the actor John Alford who is best known for his roles in Grange Hill and London’s Burning. Alford was giving this soap star turned pop star malarkey a go – well, it had worked for loads of others before him including another ex Grange Hill pupil in Sean Maguire who, by massive coincidence, was also on the same show. Alford managed three UK chart hits in 1996 (all cover versions obviously) but subsequently disappeared after his only album tanked when peaking at No 171. In later years he has had several run ins with the law and is currently awaiting trial for alleged sex offences involving a girl aged under 16 hence the decision not to air the show he featured on presumably. I’ve had a look at the rest of the running order for that particular episode and there is little chance of FOMO raising its head in my personal opinion. In addition to the aforementioned Alford and Maguire, most of the other hits on that week we’d already seen before including those by Robert Miles, Black Grape, Tony Rich Project, Gina G and, unbelievably, Mark Morrison (again!). We did miss out on SWV and Dodgy but I can live with that.

Tonight’s hosts are funny men Jack Dee and the late Jeremy Hardy who do the whole show as if they were BBC presenters from the 50s which is fairly amusing for most of the time. We open with, I read to my astonishment when researching them, the best-selling boy band of all time!! What?! The Backstreet Boys?! That’s what Wikipedia tells me, yes. It also says that they are the first group since Led Zeppelin to have their first ten albums reach the Top 10 on the US charts. OK, so there are a couple of things to unpack here before we go any further. Firstly, the Backstreet Boys have made ten albums?! Surely not! I’m checking their discography. Wait there…

…they have! Although, one of them is a Christmas album and didn’t make the Top 10 in America. Maybe that claim included Greatest Hits compilations? Secondly, the biggest selling boy band of all time? What about New Kids On The Block or Take That or One Direction? Or even one of those K-pop groups? And what criteria are we using to define boy band? Were The Beatles* a boy band or The Jackson 5? If they qualify the. Surely they outsold Backstreet Boys?

*Obviously they weren’t but I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here

Whatever the truth behind the claim, their sales certainly didn’t start out like that. Not in the UK anyway. Their first two singles releases failed to make the Top 40 over here (though both were subsequently rereleased and became hits). Somehow the UK were initially impervious to the five piece’s charms but we finally caved when third single “Get Down (You’re The One For Me)” made it to No 14. Quite why though remains a mystery to me as it’s awful, useless, just no good. Based around that annoying swing beat riff that was prevalent about a year before and used on hits by the likes of MN8 and Montell Jordan with hackneyed, pseudo sexual lyrics, it truly stank the place out. They weren’t even that good looking were they? Maybe the pretty boy one with blonde hair but the rest? What did I know though. Their next thirteen singles went Top 10 in the UK including a No 1, two No 2s and four No 3s. It seemed that we really were getting down with the Backstreet Boys and they were indeed the ones for us.

From a boy band to a collaboration that was rather more out of left field albeit that one of the collaborators was about to become so successful that a crossover into the mainstream would be inevitable. Jamiroquai were an established chart act by this point with two hit albums and a readily identifiable sound to their name. They also had Jay Kay as their frontman who was providing the gossip columns with material as he embraced the pop star lifestyle. In 1996, their third album “Travelling Without Moving” was released and would go on to sell eight million copies worldwide, four times more than the sales of their first two combined. It also generated their three highest charting singles to date in “Virtual Insanity” (No 3), “Cosmic Girl” (No 6) and “Alright” (No 6). Before all of those though came “Do U Know Where You’re Coming From”. This was a joint project with jungle pioneer M–Beat and you might be forgiven for thinking that this was a revamp of the similarly titled Diana Ross hit “Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” given that M-Beat’s last hit had been a cover of another female soul singer – Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love”. It wasn’t (thank God!). What it was though, to my ears, was a track that was trying to tick too many musical boxes but ended up being a confused, mess of a song. I think there might be a decent tune in there somewhere but all those shuffling, jungle breakbeats just kept fracturing any cohesiveness it might have had.

The single did get to No 12 and was included as an extra track on “Travelling Without Moving” (albeit with a very slight title change). M-Beat (aka Marlon Hart) would not have any further UK chart hits though he did produce remixes for Soul II Soul and Roy Davis Jr. who would have minor hits with them in the late 90s. Hart himself would become homeless not long after this TOTP appearance before taking IT consultancy positions for McLaren F1 and Lloyds Bank and finally returning to music in 2022. So he did know where he was coming from after all!

Well, this is shaping up to be a show of extremes. We move from a jungle/acid jazz-funk mash up to some hard rock courtesy of Metallica. A Top 10 hit pretty much everywhere, “Until It Sleeps” was the lead single from new album “Load”. It’ll come as no surprise to anyone who’s taken even a passing interest in my blog previously that I‘m not the biggest Metallica fan. I can acknowledge the power of “Enter Sandman” but that’s the extent of my appreciation. Consequently, this track didn’t and doesn’t make my musical radar bleep.

Its video is more interesting to me though. It looks like the set of a horror movie or perhaps the darker moments of Stranger Things most of the time but its imagery is apparently inspired by the work of 15th century Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch, specifically The Garden Of Earthly Delights, Haywain and Ecce Homo. I can’t say that I’m that familiar with Bosch’s work but here’s @TOTPFacts with the visual evidence:

The video for “Until It Sleeps” was inspired by the paintings of Hieronymus Bosch. This bit has a basic similarity to “Ecce Homo”, for example. #TOTP pic.twitter.com/ySF60N1qPw
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) August 9, 2024

And this human-eating monster is a nod to “The Garden of Earthly Delights” #TOTP pic.twitter.com/gW5BapAz4t
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) August 9, 2024

From high art to a rancid fart of a song. That dreadful moment of the 90s is upon us – it’s time for Peter Andre and “Mysterious Girl”. Brace yourselves everyone, we’re going in! It seems an odd concept to grasp now but there was a time when Peter Andre wasn’t a part of our lives, always there in the cultural milieu, grifting away at his latest cash grab and attempting to give himself a sheen of relevance and currency. So embedded is he in our society that in the 2007 British comedy film Grow Your Own starring Eddie Marsan, at one point in its story about locals on an allotment reacting angrily when some refugees are given plots on it, one character announces “You know who I blame? Peter Andre!”.

Back in 1996 though, he was only known for one minor hit single in the UK called…erm… “Only One”. A concerted media campaign targeting teen magazines though raised his profile enough to put out a follow up. “Mysterious Girl” was actually a rerelease having peaked at No 53 in September 1995. We all dodged a bullet then but when the gun was reloaded for a second time we were hit right between the eyes with both barrels. This horrible, cod reggae, Inner Circle rip off would spend eleven consecutive weeks in the UK Top 10 mainly skittering between Nos 2 and 3. Thankfully it never made it to the top of the charts though even that silver lining would become a black cloud burst in 2004 when it got to No 1 after a concerted campaign by DJ Chris Moyles. Gee, thanks Chris. I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport in 1996 and we sold this single over and over and over again. When we’d finished doing that, we sold it some more and every time I did, the questions running around my head were “What am I doing with my life? How did it come to this?”. I’d had similar thoughts when I’d been the stand in Father Christmas in Debenhams seven years earlier whilst sat in Santa’s Grotto surrounded by soft toy reindeers and nodding penguins. Peter Andre – so much to blame him for.

It’s an Antipodean double whammy as we go from an Australian dope in Peter Andre to a song called “Australia” that’s pretty dope – I believe that can also mean ‘good’ in the modern vernacular*.

*God, I sound like the two stuffy characters Jeremy Hardy and Jack Dee are using to present the show!

Occupants of the revived ‘album’ slot are Manic Street Preachers and a track from their “Everything Must Go” album that would also turn out to be the fourth and final single released from it when it made No 7 in the charts in the December of 1996. The album had only been out for ten days at this point and with it going straight in at No 2, a place on the BBC’s flagship music show was not only deemed appropriate but also assured and deserved. Interestingly, the band shunned the chance to preview their next single, the album’s title track, that would hit the shops in July and instead opted for this song that was written as a metaphor for getting as far away from the UK and its tabloid press as possible in the wake of band member Richey Edwards’ disappearance the previous year. Also of note in this performance is the nerdy look of James Dean Bradfield including spectacles and a neat and tidy haircut. Quite the change from those early “Generation Terrorists” era TOTP appearances.

I’d seen the Manics support Oasis* at their Maine Road gigs a month before this show aired and would see them headline their own show about a year afterwards. I also had the album – I was becoming quite the fan though what I was not a fan of was the cardboard sleeves they insisted releasing their singles in at this time. Working in a record shop as I was, they were a pain to display.

*No, I didn’t get involved in the frankly shameful Oasis reunion gigs tickets fiasco. I saw them when they were at the top of their game and relevant – I have no desire to revisit the money grabbing so and so’s they seem to have become nearly thirty years later.

If it’s time for Celine Dion then it must also be time for a big, heart string pulling ballad and we do indeed get both these outcomes with “Because You Loved Me”. Released as the second single from her “Falling Into You” album, it was also included on the soundtrack to the film Up Close And Personal starring Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer. I’ve never seen this film before but reading the plot synopsis on Wikipedia, I don’t think I’ll be seeking it out for a viewing anytime soon. A rather stodgy sounding news drama/romance that bore no resemblance to the book on which it was based? No, I’m alright thanks. Pfeiffer was making a habit though of starring in films that had a huge big hit single featured in them. Just a few months before, Coolio had conquered the globe with his Stevie Wonder channeling “Gangsta Paradise” from Dangerous Minds.

As for “Because You Loved Me”, it’s all pretty laboured and predictable to my ears but was clearly aural nectar for lots of other people’s lugholes as it went to No 1 in America and won a Grammy and was nominated for an Academy Award. And to think we’re still 18 months away from her even bigger film ballad “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic. Gulp!

Having finally scored themselves a massive hit by rereleasing their debut single “Lifted”, the Lighthouse Family have shone their spotlight onto another earlier release to secure themselves a follow up. As well, as being the title track of their debut album, “Ocean Drive” was also their second ever single and their first ever Top 40 hit when it peaked at No 34 in October ‘95. Could the old rerelease strategy work for a second time? Of course it could and not even the fact that “Ocean Drive” was almost identical to “Lifted” would stop people buying it for a second time. Harsh? Possibly but almost certainly accurate. Yes, this was more of that radio friendly, lilting groove, smooth vocal, easy listening soul/pop that they made their name on. And why not? You didn’t have to buy or listen to it if it didn’t float your boat did you eh?

So where is Ocean Drive? Well, there’s a mile long road in the South Beach neighbourhood of Miami Beach, Florida which bears that name and is famous for its Art Deco hotels, restaurants and bars. So, that must be what inspired the song then? Well, according to Wikipedia, it wasn’t as it’s about a road in the UK. A quick search of the internet reveals that there is indeed an Ocean Drive and it’s not that far from me in Hull being located in a village in the East Riding of Yorkshire called Newport. There might not be any Art Deco buildings there but google maps shows me that there is a pub called the Crown & Anchor, one called The Jolly Sailor Inn and a fish and chip shop called Johnny Haddocks so Ocean Drive kind of fits the nautical theme. Mr and Mrs Lighthouse (as name checked by Dee and Hardy in their intro) would fit right in.

After being on the show as an ‘exclusive’ two weeks prior, Bryan Adams is back again as his single “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” has blasted into the charts at No 6. There’s something different about this second performance though that I can’t quite put my finger on…oh yeah, that’s it…Bry’s missing a member from his band. Where’s the guitarist that was standing on his left from the last time? In an attempt to fill the space, they’ve moved the keyboard player to the front of the stage but he’s no substitute for standing back to back with Bryan and rocking out like his guitarist did. Also, the drummer looks very different. On the first appearance the guy behind the kit had huge Afro hair but that’s all gone this time around. Is it the same guy? Was he just wearing a wig the first time? If it was the latter, he clearly decided to ignore the advice of the title of the track he was drumming on and ditched it.

Listening back to this, is it me or is there a slight whiff of U2 about some of the guitar work as it comes out of the chorus? No? Nothing like The Edge? How about Bry’s bass player then? If you squint your eyes does he look a bit like Adam Clayton? OK, you got me. All this talk of drummers, Adam Clayton and U2 is me trying to tee up the show’s play out tune but more of that later. First, we have a new No 1 to deal with…

And so after weeks of anticipation and a flurry of football songs in the charts that weren’t that football song, it’s finally here and it’s gone straight in at No 1. As with Peter Andre, it’s hard to recall now that there was a time when “Three Lions (It’s Coming Home)” wasn’t a part of the national psyche, wasn’t trotted out every time England played in a football tournament and wasn’t sung on the terraces. A time when the subject of a song about the England football team would instantly bring to mind New Order’s “World In Motion” or possibly “Back Home” from 1970. All of this was trampled into the turf by Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds in 1996. Now bearing in mind that Euro 96 hadn’t even started by this point, the promotion surrounding the release of the single must have been pretty extensive to have propelled it straight to the top of the charts on week one. Despite working in a record shop at the time, I can’t recall if there was a massive buzz around the song before a ball had been kicked in anger but we must have sold loads of it in that first week. After debuting at the very top of the charts, the following month saw it mostly at No 2 with a solitary week at No 4 before returning to No 1, with sales no doubt fuelled by the England team progressing to the semi-finals. We all know what fate befell them there sadly. That month gap between the two occasions that “Three Lions” was the UK’s best selling single saw “Killing Me Softly” by Fugees at No 1. It dropped a place as Euro 96 came to its climax and then leapfrogged back to the top for another week after it had finished. This meant that these two singles spent seven weeks swapping the No 1 position between them. There’s another less talked about twist of trivia that bonded the two together acts together and it really is quite bizarre – the single that the Lightning Seeds released before “Three Lions” was a song called “Ready Or Not” whilst the single that the Fugees released after “Killing Me Softly” was a song called…yep…”Ready Or Not”. What are the chances eh?

Quite why the FA approached Ian Broudie of the Lightning Seeds to write a song for the tournament I’m not sure but Broudie’s decision to get Frank Skinner and David Baddiel involved made perfect sense (ooh, see what I did there? ‘Perfect’ and ‘Sense’? Oh never mind!) what with the duo having recently finished the third and final series of Fantasy Football League for the BBC. Both comedians were by now also synonymous with the beautiful game with Skinner professing his love of WBA and Baddiel a fellow fan of my beloved Chelsea.

Like everybody in the country it seemed, I got caught up with the feel good factor that the football was bringing and “Three Lions” seemed a perfectly good soundtrack to that period. However, its repeated appearance at every football tournament since has made it almost unlistenable now. They really did flog it to death. An updated version with changed lyrics went to No 1 two years later for the 1998 World Cup and it topped the charts again as England reached the semi final in 2018 in the same competition. As far as I can tell, the only tournaments that England qualified for since the song was originally released when “Three Lions” hasn’t featured in the charts were the 2000 and 2004 Euros. My research tells me that Fat Les’s “Jerusalem” and a version of “All Together Now” were the predominant England songs for those years respectively.

The play out track is “Theme From Mission: Impossible” by Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jnr. Yes, here’s the reason for my cack handed referencing of the two members of the aforementioned U2 earlier in the post. The very first movie of the Mission: Impossible franchise was released this year and nearly 30 years later it is still going, still with Tom Cruise as the star and with the most recent outing Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One (the seventh film so far) having been released in 2023. I caught the first film at the cinema in Stockport as the Our Price store there where I was working had an arrangement with the local cinema to supply them with CDs to play in the foyer. It might even have been a special preview screening that I attended as I seem to remember coming out with a press pack of still photos etc. I think I enjoyed it but I’m not sure that I’ve watched any of the sequels in their entirety. I recall watching the original 60s TV series as a small child and being confused by Leonard Nimoy being in it but not being dressed as Mr Spock!

I’m guessing that Adam and Larry were approached to record the movie’s theme tune off the back of U2’s wildly successful contribution to the previous year’s Batman Forever film. They don’t muck about with it too much though they’ve clearly danced it up a bit and explore that further with a number of remixes on the 12” and extra tracks on the CD single. At the end of the day though, it all pales in comparison to the iconic original which kind of negates the whole thing. Competing with its composer Lalo Schifrin really did prove to be an impossible mission.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Backstreet Boys	Get Down (You’re The One For Me)	As if
2	Jamiroquai / M-Beat	Do U Know Where You’re Coming From	No
3	Metallica	Until It Sleeps	I did not
4	Peter Andre	Mysterious Girl	Sir! You insult me with your impertinence!
5	Manic Street Preachers	Australia	No but I had the album
6	Celine Dion	Because You Loved Me	Never
7	Lighthouse Family	Ocean Drive	Nope
8	Bryan Adams	The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You	Negative
9	Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds	Three Lions (It’s Coming Home)	Nah
10	Theme From Mission: Impossible”	Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jnr	Another no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0021s8z/top-of-the-pops-30051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP Rewind – the 90s

My memories of 90s chart music

TOTP 13 FEB 1998

Disclaimer

TOTP 23 JAN 1998

Disclaimer

TOTP 07 NOV 1997

Disclaimer

TOTP 10 OCT 1997

Disclaimer

TOTP 17 JAN 1997

Disclaimer

TOTP 15 NOV 1996

Disclaimer

TOTP 23 AUG 1996

Disclaimer

TOTP 30 MAY 1996

Disclaimer