TOTP 09 MAY 1996

There’s ten hits on this episode of TOTP but we’ve seen four of them before and one of the new ones is a football song (no, not that one; not yet). We’ve also seen the presenter before and not that long ago – it’s that Beertje Van Beers woman again. I’m not sure she was any more famous than she had been the first time she hosted the show a few weeks before (despite the exposure afforded her by that appearance) so why was she back again? Was it all about how she looked? In the era of Britpop and lads mags then I suppose that was a distinct possibility.

Beertje’s first job is to introduce one of those hits we’ve seen before – it’s Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One with “Cecilia”. The last time they were on led to an infamous incident when lisping boxer Chris Eubank had to contend with a bit of a tongue twister when doing the Top 10 countdown. As A-ha’s Morten Harket once sang on “I’ve Been Losing You”, he was hissing his ‘S’s’ like a snake. Poor Chris and poor the watching British public as this was a honking cover version. I’ve said this before but Suggs’s solo career has always been completely at odds to his Madness one for me. I like Madness and have even seen them live but Suggs on his own just doesn’t compute. For some reason in the mid 90s though, his awful Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel covers won the approval of UK record buyers giving him two Top 10 hits. Parent album “The Lone Ranger” achieved silver sales status and provided Suggs with a further three smaller chart hits but by the time of his second solo album “The Three Pyramids Club” (which sounds like the title of a Richard Osman novel), this brief infatuation was over and it sank without trace. Suggs never really returned to his solo career although he did have a hit with “Blue Day” in 1997 which was the FA Cup final song for my (and his) beloved Chelsea FC (more about cup final songs later). However, just last year, he teamed up with Paul Weller for the Slade-esque spelt single “Ooh Do U Fink U R”.

I’m always very cautious when it comes to commenting on rap artists purely because I don’t know enough about their music and its culture. I’m a white man who grew up in Worcester as a pop kid. If I tried to do any kind of analysis, it would be totally inauthentic. I guess I’m still allowed an opinion on what I’m watching and hearing on these TOTP repeats though right? I can’t just skip over a rap artist appearing on the show can I? The completist in me won’t let me just swerve this so here I go. I know the name Busta Rhymes – of course I do. I spent the 90s working in record shops. Could I name any of his tracks unprompted? Not a one. Would I recognise any if I were to check out his discography? Let’s see…

*checks Busta Rhymes discography*

Oh yeah. He did “Hit ‘Em High (The Monsters Anthem)” from the Space Jam soundtrack with B-Real, Coolio, LL Cool J and Method Man. And therein lies the problem. The only Busta Rhymes hit I know is from a movie about basketball starring Bugs Bunny. I don’t have any depth of knowledge nor relevance to the world of rap. OK, I’ll have to just go for the most superficial of reviews. “Woo-Hah!! Got You All In Check” was the debut single for Busta Rhymes and would peak at No 8 in both the US and the UK. I initially thought that the BBC censor was sleeping again to have let the lines “let’s get high” and “roll some weed” get through but then I checked led out the full, explicit lyrics. Dearie me! There’s no way any of that was getting through the BBC bad language filter. Mary Whitehouse would have self combusted.

Now this is an interesting link from Beertje even though she possibly only used it for its play on words. “In Holland we have three types of people; soccer players, cheeseheads and Klubbheads” she informs us. OK, so let’s break this down. Soccer players? Well, of course the Dutch have a rich history of producing fantastic footballers. One of my mates could talk for hours about Johan Cruyff and ‘total football’. Cheeseheads? I had to do some research on this I have to admit. It’s not a term to refer to enthusiasts of Dutch cheese though that would seem legitimate. No, apparently its usage dates back to the 19th century when Holland was occupied by Napoleon’s army and Dutch cheese producers got fed up with French soldiers stealing their beloved Gouda cheese. As a form of protection when confronting said soldiers, the Dutch wore helmets made out of cheese barrels hence ‘cheeseheads’. The term actually became an insult used by the French and Belgians when referring to Dutch people. Hmm. So by making sure she shoehorned in a play on words to introduce a Dutch dance act, Beertje actually insulted her own country? Oh well.

Said dance act are a team of Dutch dance producers with more than 40 aliases for their recordings including Hi_Tack, Da Klubb Kings and my personal favourite Drunkenmunky. For this their biggest hit “Klubbhopping” however, they went by the moniker of Klubbheads. I’m not going to lie, listening back to this is just making me feel nauseous, like somebody’s taken a club to my head. Klubbheads indeed.

Finally something approaching a decent tune. Having made it big with their last single “Slight Return”, The Bluetones weren’t about to rock the boat by messing with that hit formula and so they didn’t with its follow up “Cut Some Rug” which was certainly cut from the same cloth as its predecessor. Jangly guitars, a shuffling backbeat and some acerbic lyrics (“And all the time you remind me of blitzkreig and the doodle bug, salt upon a bubbling slug”) all allied with a hummable chorus. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it was the gameplan here alright.

Having gone off on a tangent earlier when discussing the origins of the phrase ‘Cheeseheads’, let’s continue that theme with an exploration into backstory of an expression that I’ve certainly used in this blog before- ‘cut some rug’. Apparently, it dates back to the 1930s and 40s when the ‘jitterbug’ dance was popular. Owing to its high energy moves, its protagonists would leave lots of marks on the dance floor that looked like cuts in a carpet or rug. I’m not sure that ‘The Bluetones shuffle’ as demonstrated by Beerjte in her intro would inflict such damage. By the way, I might make this cultural references thing an occasional series you know! Or maybe not.

One of those nearly one hit wonders now when an artist who is only known for one big hit single but whose discography shows that they actually had a further but minor chart entry. Yeah, one of them. The Tony Rich Project was, unsurprisingly, the project of one Tony Rich (real name Antonio Jeffries), a songwriter for LaFace Records who penned compositions for the likes of Toni Braxton, Boyz II Men and TLC. He made the leap into the sphere of artist in his own right with debut single “Nobody Knows”, a tender, soulful ballad that hit big both in the US and over here. Follow up single “Like A Woman” made it to No 27 in our charts then nothing. Well, not nothing as Tony continued to record and release new material well into the new century with his last album appearing in 2017 but he would never have any other major chart success. There is no truth in the rumour that Tony’s artist name inspired the title of 1999’s supernatural horror film phenomenon The Blair Witch Project. That particular movie’s name was influenced, of course, by British soft rockers The Alan Parsons Project.

“Let’s get rocked!” as the next band once sang. Def Leppard (for it is they) hadn’t released a studio album since 1992’s “Adrenalize” filling that gap with a greatest hit and B-sides collection. When the new album finally arrived, it wasn’t quite the Def Leppard of old. There were a few reasons why, not least that the band had seen which way the wind was blowing in the arena of rock music and had understood that post grunge, the sound that had served the so well in their late 80s pomp wasn’t going to cut it in the mid 90s. Added to that was the realisation that they’d been, as described by guitarist Vivian Campbell, living in a state of arrested development singing songs about putting out the trash and that they should write more mature songs that reflected their adult experience. And there was plenty of source material – founding member Steve Clark had died in 1991, guitarist Phil Collen had got divorced, bassist Rick Savage was battling facial paralysis condition Bell’s palsy and the death of his father whilst drummer Rick Allen and lead singer Joe Elliott had been arrested for spousal abuse and assault respectively. Given all that dark and heavy material, the album’s title track and lead single “Slang” seems remarkably jaunty. I can’t say that I’ve ever listened to the rest of the album but supposedly it does see the band operating outside of their comfort zone with more industrial and electronic sounds incorporated. It garnered mixed reviews ranging from a confused mess of an album to plaudits for trying to do something new. Back to the single though and it doesn’t really go anywhere for me and sounds like a poor man’s version of “Slam” by Dan Reed Network.

The one thing that did stand out for me was Joe Elliott’s super straightened new hairdo. It put me in mind of – and this is very niche – a particular style of grooming that some owners of the Maltese breed of dog go in for. We have a Maltese dog and we make sure he has a regular trim at the dog groomers but I’ve seen owners displaying their dogs at Crufts with the fur all grown out and straight as a curtain. Poodle rock indeed.

The next three hits we have seen before on the show starting with an ex-No 1! Yes, it’s that curious TOTP phenomenon of a record having gone down the charts and either going back up or putting the blocks on its descent to such an extent of being afforded a place on the show’s running order. We saw it in an earlier 1996 show when Oasis’s “Wonderwall” got a repeat airing when it re-entered the Top 5 having dropped out of the Top 10 a few weeks earlier. Now it’s the turn of Mark Morrison whose “Return Of The Mack” is still holding at No 2 despite having been on the charts for two months. The last time Beerjte was hosting, she introduced Morrison as that week’s No 1 and he celebrated by picking her up and carrying her off at the end of the song. Thankfully, she’s put enough physical distance between them this time to ensure that doesn’t happen again. In her intro, there’s a moment where she throws a look in the direction of Morrison on the stage behind her and I’m sure you can detect something in it that says “don’t think of trying it again mister”. I hope so anyway.

I would never describe Damon Albarn as a “Charmless Man” but by his own confession, this period of Blur’s career saw him potentially as a clueless one. If that sounds harsh, look at this from Damon himself:

See? I think I said in my last post when Blur were on the show performing this track in the ‘exclusive’ slot that it was a decidedly decent song and I stand by that though it’s clearly not one of their most high profile despite its chart peak of No 5. I’m sure Liam Gallagher would have dismissed it as “chimney sweep music” though. I’m not sure what drummer Dave Rowntree’s over sized drumsticks nor Graham Coxon’s shrunken guitar in this appearance were all about – presumably some band in joke. Graham’s ‘Freedom For Tooting!’ t-shirt was obviously a reference to the 70s sitcom Citizen Smith starring Robert Lindsay as hapless revolutionary Wolfie Smith. I recently listened to an interview with Lindsay and he recounted that the fame that the role brought him had its downsides including being harassed by both admiring women and jealous boyfriends on a night out and, in one extreme case, being blamed for an outbreak of football hooliganism when attending a match played by his hometown team of Ilkeston as the perpetrators had come dressed as Wolfie for the day. I’m pretty sure that Graham Coxon would never have done anything so charmless.

George Michael stays at No 1 with “Fastlove” for a second of three weeks. This track would prove to be his last hit in America, a territory that he dominated in his “Faith” era. That album provided George with six huge hit singles including four consecutive No 1s between ‘87 and ‘88. Quite phenomenal. Things started to tail off a bit with 1990’s “Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1” albeit that lead single “Praying For Time” did furnish another chart topper. By the time of the “Older” album nearly a decade after his late 80s pomp, although sizeable hits, “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove” would peak at Nos 7 and 8 respectively whereas both hit the top spot in the UK. This was very much a role reversal of those “Faith” chart positions – of those four American No 1s, in the UK the corresponding peaks were:

2 – 11 – 8 – 13.

Although his US numbers were down, George continued to stack ‘em high over here throughout the rest of the decade. These were the chart positions of his seven single releases after “Fastlove” until the end of ‘99:

2 – 3 – 2 – 10 – 2 – 2 – 4

There may have even been cultural differences in terms of chart compilation and release strategies that explains the contrasts highlighted above but I thought they were…well…worth highlighting.

We play out with another football song but, as I said at the top of the post, it’s still not that one. This TOTP aired two days before the 1996 FA Cup final between Liverpool and Manchester United and it tuned out to be a complete damp squib of a game that was decided by a solitary goal by Eric Cantona (himself the subject of yet another football song in the Top 40 that will feature on the following TOTP repeat). Already in the charts was the cup final song by United called “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” which would peak at No 6. Released a week later was this effort from their ultimately defeated opponents under the name of Liverpool FC & The Boot Room Boyz. Despite losing the cup final (cream suits and all), this pile of shite actually won the chart battle when it entered the chart at No 4. With a similar title to United’s hit – “Pass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)” – it also tried to capture the predominant dance sound of the time much as their rivals had. Both failed dismally. Liverpool should have just updated 1988’s “Anfield Rap” – now that was a football record with a groove.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One CeciliaNever
2Busta RhymesWoo-Hah!! Got You All In CheckNo
3KlubbheadsKlubbhoppingNot likely
4The BluetonesCut Some RugI did not
5The Tony Rich ProjectNobody KnowsNah
6Def LeppardSlangNegative
7Mark Morrison Return Of The MackNope
8BlurCharmless ManNo but I had their Great Escape album
9George MichaelFastloveAnother no
10Liverpool FC & The Boot Room BoyzPass & Move (It’s The Liverpool Groove)As if

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 02 MAY 1996

When I write these reviews, I try and make reference to what else was going on at the time of the show’s broadcast either nationally, globally or indeed personally on occasion. Well, I’ve made a discovery on the last of those angles – I’ve found an old diary from 1996. I’d forgotten that I used to keep one from about 1991 to 1997. I can’t find the rest of them which were presumably lost in various house moves but the ‘96 one is intact. Now obviously I’m not going to reveal my inner most thoughts from back then but it might prove to be a gold mine for filling in some background details. So what was I doing on the day of this particular TOTP?

*refers to diary*

Ah excellent! It was my day off (I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport) so what did I do with it? I went into town to pay our council tax bill! The 27 year old me knew how to live back then! In my defence, I don’t think I paying bills by direct debit was commonplace in 1996 and though I was no poll tax rioter, I probably wanted some control over when I paid it on account of permanently being skint. Paying bills wasn’t the only thing I was doing though. In an unlikely push to better myself, I was doing two courses at this time. One was a First Aid class and the second was about 50s music. Get me! These days I struggle to read an online article in its entirety. I also note that on this day, Glenn Hoddle accepted the offer of becoming the next England manager and would be leaving my beloved Chelsea at the end of the season. I write this post the day after Gareth Southgate has just resigned as national team coach following England’s loss to Spain in the Euros 2024 final. Whilst it may have seemed as if the appointment had come a bit early in Hoddle’s career, he looked like Pep Guardiola compared to the current crop of names being lined up to replace Southgate. Graham Potter?! Do me a favour!

Now this is all very interesting (or not) but what about TOTP? What about the music? You’re right of course so let’s get to it and we start with “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” by Gina G. Despite having been on the show at least twice already, she’s back on tonight in another promotion push as the UK’s 1996 Eurovision entry with the contest just over two weeks away. Due to the multiple appearances, Gina and her backing dancers were step and word perfect by this point and I have to say it all hangs together pretty well. Gina seemed to be channeling her inner Kylie with her glittery micro dress and wide, perma-smile and why not? One of her dancers (the one in the pink dress) looks a bit like ex-EastEnders actress Samantha Janus who of course represented the UK at Eurovision in 1991. It isn’t her but she had me fooled for a while or perhaps I should say just a little bit.

In a recent TOTP repeat, we witnessed the sad spectacle of Miss Diana Ross making a fool of herself by covering Gloria Gaynor’s disco classic “I Will Survive” as she searched desperately for a hit to keep her relevant in the mid 90s. I said at the time of reviewing her performance that we would be seeing and hearing another cover of the track very shortly and that time is now. Chantay Savage (nothing to do with Robbie, Lily or Doc) however took the track in a completely different direction, slowing it down so much that it was reconstructed as an R’n’B ballad. Although it did little for me, I give her full marks for creativity. Sadly, such imagination was lacking when it came to naming her album which was called “I Will Survive” (Doin’ It My Way)” – a more literal title it’s hard to conceive. Chantay would never have another UK hit single in her own right though she did co-write “We Got A Love Thang” for CeCe Peniston in 1993 which went Top 10.

I should have said that tonight’s host is the very affable Michelle Gayle who is perhaps being slightly disingenuous when she says in her intro to The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad and their hit “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” that she doesn’t know if United will win the league and FA Cup double for the second time in three years. History records that the Red Devils did indeed do the ‘double double’ in 1996, a view that was obviously not available to Michelle seeing as those events were yet to happen but I’m pretty sure that they were red hot favourites to do so. Three days after this TOTP aired, Fergie took his team to Middlesbrough, easily won 3-0 and secured the Premier League title having successfully hunted down Newcastle United who led the table by 12 points in January, Kevin Keegan rants and all. Six days on from that, they were at Wembley for the FA Cup final against a Liverpool side who were no slouches but neither were they anywhere near the great teams of their 70s and 80s history. It would have been a shock (albeit a mild one) had the Scousers triumphed. As it turned out, the 1996 final was a terrible game with Eric Cantona’s late winner sparing us the misery of extra time. The fact that the final is best remembered for the Liverpool squad’s horrendous cream suits says everything.

Alex Ferguson’s United were in the middle of their 90s pomp but at least their dreadful cup final song for this season didn’t replicate the success of its 1994 counterpart “Come On You Reds” which inexplicably topped the charts. The good news is that unless they released one for the 1999 FA Cup final which formed part of their historic treble (I can’t recall if they did or not) this should be the last time I have to review any more of their singles. The bad news is that we haven’t seen the last of football related hits in 1996 by a long chalk.

Blimey! This next song is as dull as my diary! If I thought 3T’s last hit “Anything” was as drippy as the roofs of some of the stadiums at EURO 2024, I hadn’t reckoned on its follow up “24/7”. Jacko’s nephews have tried to inject a slightly more uptempo beat to it than its predecessor but it seems to just shine an even harsher light on how insipid a tune it is. The guy who dramatically flung his rucksack to the ground during performances of “Anything” (I’ve no idea which one he is out of Taj, Tyrell and TJ) seems to have lost his prop for this single – maybe the song wasn’t his bag (ahem).

I’m guessing that after being introduced by Chris Eubank the other week as “an absolute tottie’, Sleeper’s Louise Werner might have expected a less suggestive intro from a fellow female artist but Michelle Gayle can’t resist referring to her as “sexy” and lumping her in with similarly categorised pop star Louise (“she’s called Louise – aren’t they all?”). Louise and her band (now I’m at it, making it all about the female lead singer) are into the Top 10 for the first time with “Sale Of The Century” and to celebrate, she’s come in a top that is appropriately Britpop in style. In fact, what with that and her jumping and hopping stage moves, she’s coming across like a feminine version of Damon Albarn (more of whom later). At least she’s not just standing there statuesque (see what I did there?).

Louise would go on to be a successful author post Sleeper and before their reforming in 2017 writing both fiction and an account of her music career Just For One Day: Adventures In Britpop (also published as Different For Girls: My Truelife Adventures In Pop). The blurb for that autobiography includes the line “eating Twiglets backstage and enviously eyeing up Damon Albarn’s plate of foreign cheeses”. Don’t cheddar tear over him Louise! It’ll ruin your mascarpone. These cheese puns are starting to grate now aren’t they?

As is the case with Erasure, there’s a list of every Pet Shop Boys single in my memory banks from 1985 to the early 90s that I’m pretty sure I could recite in its entirety. However, as is also the case with Erasure, it all starts to go a bit hazy around the mid 90s when, despite working in record shops for the entire decade, I must have taken my eyes off what both duos were up to. “Before” is a case in point. This track is definitely not anywhere to be found in my ageing grey matter cells. It was, however, the lead single from sixth studio album “Bilingual” which was actually Chris and Neil’s first since 1993’s “Very”. However, there had been Pet Shop Boys releases in the meantime in the form of the collections “Disco 2” and “Alternative” which were a remix album and B-sides compilation respectively.

“Bilingual” didn’t appear until the start of September so “Before” preceded it by four months making it feel like a stand alone single which maybe explains why I don’t remember it. I do recall second single “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)” which came out a few weeks before the album which is presumably why I would have sworn that was its lead single. Why the early release date for “Before”? I’m not sure but Wikipedia tells me that in 1995, Neil and Chris ended their contract with the American arm of EMI and singled with Atlantic who launched a renewed marketing campaign to promote the duo in the US so maybe that had something to do with it? Or maybe they wanted to consolidate on the success they had achieved with their collaboration on “Hallo Spaceboy” with David Bowie in the February and didn’t want to leave a gap of six months until their next single? Either way, I’m not sure “Before” deserves all this retrospective attention and consideration as it’s a pretty weak track in my opinion. Sure it was a Top 10 hit but the Pet Shop Boys fan base would always guarantee that for a release of brand new material. It’s not terrible it’s just not that memorable. Listening to it now, I could imagine its chorus being sung by (the horror!) Take That on one of their 90s hits. Even the video is just full of special effects and computer graphics which seems to dominate all their promos around this time and which showed a lack of foresight as they have dated so much as to appear naff now if not…erm… before.

The last time The Cure were on the show performing “The 13th” I wasn’t especially complimentary about the song. I’m not the only person who has a downer on it. A regular reader of this blog commented that the whole album it was taken from – “Wild Mood Swings” – was such a disappointment when it came out and the fact that “The 13th” was one of the better tracks on it shows how poor it was. Online forums seemed to be split in their judgement on it. Some people rate it in their Top 10 songs by The Cure whilst others state (and I quote) “The 13th is justifiably shat on by most fans” and that “it sounds like something brought up from the sewer”. On reflection, have I been too harsh? Sure, it’s a bit out there and maybe not what we might have expected but look at their back catalogue. The Cure have always innovated and reinvented themselves. Look at the difference between “The Walk” and “The Lovecats” first example – two non-album singles that were released within four months of each other in 1983 but were years apart sonically it seemed to me. If only “The 13th” could have peaked at No 13 instead of its actual high of No 15, my musical itch would have been scratched.

If asked to come up with a song by the Smashing Pumpkins then “Tonight, Tonight” would be the only track I could name with total confidence. Nothing to do with the Genesis hit which almost shared the same title (theirs had an extra ‘Tonight’ in it), there’s a reason why this one has stood tall and proud in my music recollections – it’s magnificent. A sprawling epic masterpiece, it was recorded with a 30 piece string section courtesy of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. It’s one of those rare songs where the standout hook of the chorus is actually purely instrumental with no vocal, well for me it is anyway. Those swooping, descending strings allied to rousing guitars and a galloping drum riff – remarkable stuff. Somehow though it didn’t make me explore their material any further. Maybe I should do now that investigating an artist’s back catalogue is so much easier due to streaming platforms like Spotify. As for host Michelle Gayle’s claim that although it was the band’s first appearance on the show that she was sure it wouldn’t be the last, as far as I can tell, they never made it back to the TOTP studio despite having a further five UK Top 40 hits.

George Michael is straight in at No 1 with “Fastlove” just as he did with previous single “Jesus To A Child”. This was impressive stuff given it was all happening at the peak of Britpop and George’s chart toppers had been a melancholic ballad and then a funky, R&B workout. The successful streak continued when parent album “Older” was released eleven days after this TOTP aired and immediately went to No 1, going on to sell 1.8 million copies in the UK. It was quite a comeback given his last studio album had been six years earlier.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had consecutive No 1 singles. His first two solo hits “Careless Whisper” and “A Different Corner” both scaled the heights albeit two years apart and punctuated by a raft of Wham! releases. If you count his 1987 duet with Aretha Franklin “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” then it’s three on the bounce. Similarly, if you go back to George’s involvement in the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and his version of “Somebody To Love” on the “Five Live EP” in 1993, then there’s also a run of three No 1s including “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove”. However, despite a subsequent string of No 2 hits, the latter would prove to be his final UK chart topper.

Perhaps lazily, when talking about the Battle of Britpop in the Summer of 1995, the phrase ‘Blur won the battle but Oasis won the war’ is often trotted out. This translates as “Country House” beat “Roll With It” to No1 but in terms of albums, “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” sold loads more than “The Great Escape”. Whilst that is true with the former achieving sales equivalent to seventeen times platinum compared to the latter’s three times, Blur’s fourth studio album sometimes unfairly gets a bad rap. Yes, all the critical plaudits go to “Modern Life Is Rubbish” and “Parklife” for being musical milestones and I don’t disagree but if you apply a purely statistical analysis, “The Great Escape” is the only Blur album to furnish the band with four Top 10 hits including a No 1. 1997’s eponymous follow up album came close to matching that accomplishment but was let down by fourth single “M.O.R.” peaking at No 15. The fourth single from “The Great Escape” was “Charmless Man” which is a decidedly decent song that doesn’t have the profile it maybe deserves with TOTP not contributing to it by only showing 30 seconds of its video over the closing credits. Said video features the actor Jean-Marc Barr as the titular protagonist who would be one of the actors regularly employed by the controversial film director Lars Von Triers in his movies. In this very year of 1996, the first of his Golden Heart Trilogy of movies was released. Breaking The Waves though, is one of the most miserable films I have ever seen – truly charmless.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitI did not
2Chantay SavageI Will SurviveNo
3The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never!
43T24/7I’ll give you one guess…
5SleeperSale Of The CenturyNope
6Pet Shop BoysBeforeNegative
7The CureThe 13thNah
8Smashing PumpkinsTonight, TonightApparently not but I really should have
9George MichaelFastloveIt’s another no
10BlurCharmless ManNo but I had The Great Escape album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020sr3/top-of-the-pops-02051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 18 APR 1996

Who the heck is / was Beertje Van Beers? Why? Because she’s hosting this TOTP and I, for one, haven’t a clue as to why. Hang on, she’s not the singer with Technohead of “I Wanna Be A Hippy” fame is she?

*checks internet*

No, I don’t think so. I’ll have to do some more research.

*checks internet again*

Well, it seems I wasn’t the only person confused but inevitably someone had the answer…

Right so basically she was Bis in presenter form? Anyway, the first artist tonight are The Wildhearts who were a favourite of TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill according to the tweet above which seems to accuse him of employing some favouritism when it came to the running order. Is that fair? Well, let’s look at the evidence. The Wildhearts were no strangers to the charts having had five UK Top 40 hits to this point though only one had made it into the Top 20. This single – “Sick Of Drugs” – would become their biggest when it peaked at No 14 so they were on an upwards trajectory which would add weight to the claim that a place on TOTP was justified. The counter argument would be that those chart positions were inflated by the band being shoe horned onto the show and benefiting from the exposure. Where lies the truth? I think I’ll leave (literally) the final word on this to the band’s lead singer Ginger who says at the end of the performance “If you wanna hear the rest of the song go and buy the single”. The full track clocks in at 4:43 in length but this TOTP performance is about 2:30 long. I think Ginger’s frustration at being cut short suggests the band were not in receipt of preferential treatment from Ric Blaxill.

Now to another artist who wasn’t revelling in huge hit singles. However, she was positively ripping it up when it came to albums sales. Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” had been in UK charts since August of 1995. However, it didn’t make it into the Top 10 until January of the following year. That slow burn was possibly due to the fact that it hadn’t furnished any massive hits with the three singles taken from it up to that point having peaked at Nos 22, 24 and 26. Respectable but not the kind of numbers to propel an album into the stratosphere. However, playing the long game would prove to be a much more successful strategy ultimately. Word of mouth promotion and an organic growth of the album would see it spend 41 consecutive weeks inside the Top 10 once it had got there with 11 of them at No 1. This was quite the phenomenon. Compare that to say Babylon Zoo’s album which crashed into the chart at No 6 off the back of the enormous “Spaceman” single but which was out of the Top 40 within a month, never to be seen again. With sales of “Jagged Little Pill” showing no signs of tailing off, a fourth single was released from it and this one would not only be the second highest charting of the six ultimately take from it but also the most infamous of them.

“Ironic” is a great tune based around a simple yet effective narrative but unfortunately for Alanis, her choice of title for the song didn’t match what she was singing about. Much cultural analysis has gone into dissecting the lyrics of “Ironic” and pointing out that the scenarios depicted in the song are not examples of irony but rather just bad luck. Such criticism opened the song up to parody, the king of which, “Weird Al” Yankovic, was always going to join in the pile on which he duly did with his song “Word Crimes”. Perhaps the most famous take down of it though came courtesy of Irish comedian Ed Byrne:

Ed made a career for himself out of that skit! Had we all noticed the irony of a lack of irony in a song about irony back in 1996 though? If we did, I don’t remember it. That Ed Byrne clip came from a Channel 4 show broadcast in 1999. In fairness to Alanis, she took it all on the chin and even extracted the piss out of herself in this updated performance of the song on The Late Late Show With James Corden in 2015:

Time to check in on how Bertje Van Beers doing as host? Well, she’s enthusiastic, I’ll give her that. Perhaps ever so slightly the wrong side of annoying? Maybe. Her next link is for a live by satellite performance by Presidents Of The United States Of America and their biggest hit “Peaches”. This is a great left field song which, like “Ironic” before it, created a bit of discussion about its lyrics. Unlike “Ironic”, said discussion was of a much baser nature. Now I just thought this was a quirky song about a guy who liked to eat peaches. However, there is a school of thought that it’s actually about eating something altogether different. I’ll say no more than that.

Lead singer Chris Ballew though says it was inspired by overhearing a homeless man walk past him muttering “I’m moving to the country, I’m gonna eat a lot of peaches” over and over. Apparently that line could have been inspired by a song by John Prine called “Spanish Pipedream”…

Blow up your TV, throw away your paper

Go to the country, build you a home

Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches

Try an’ find Jesus on your own

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jeffrey Bradford Kent / John Prine
Spanish Pipedream lyrics © Walden Music, Inc.

So there’s that but there’s also a second part to the inspiration for the song also from Ballew who recounts going to the house of a girl he fancied whilst under the influence of recreational drugs, finding her not at home and so waiting for her sat under a peach tree, having an hallucinogenic experience whilst crushing fallen peaches in his hands. I think I’ll choose to go with Ballew’s story as to what the song’s about. Not everyone agrees though. Here’s Captain D from Cincinnati on the Songfacts.com website:

I’m a pervert so I thought it was sexual too

Well, I guess the Captain is honest at least. The Presidents Of The USA would have two more UK hits before disbanding in 1997. “Peaches” remains their signature hit though. Such was its renown that it even permeated our culture to the point that the character of Hank from King Of The Hill knew it:

Everything But The Girl have finally moved on from “Missing” after it stayed in the charts for six months but they weren’t leaving their new direction behind them. “Walking Wounded” (both the single and album) saw the duo continue to embrace dance beats and in particular those of a drum and bass variety that were ripping up the nation’s dance floors and starting to enter the mainstream. Whilst their repositioning of themselves as a dance act no doubt won them some new admirers, I wasn’t one of them. I’d grown up with the Ben and Tracey era of “Each And Everyone” and the wonderful “Baby, The Stars Shine Bright” album, not this electronica, trip-hop material. I just couldn’t get into it. Sure, I could appreciate “Missing” for its musicality that could see it be effective as both an acoustic ballad and dance anthem but did I want to hear an Everything But The Girl album that went further than that? No thanks. The record buying public disagreed with me of course sending the album to No 4 and a platinum certification selling three times as many copies as predecessor “Amplified Heart”. However, it could be argued that this new direction only brought short term gains. Follow up album “Temperamental” continued the dance experiment but received a lukewarm reception and sales. Appearing in 1999, it would be the last Everything But The Girl album for nearly a quarter of a decade with the band’s output becoming mired in a haze of Best Of compilations and collections. Their legacy deserved better.

After a terrible decade so far in terms of his legal battle with Sony over the fairness of his recording contract, 1996 was turning out to be a splendid year for George Michael. Sure, he’d had two No 1s (a duet with Elton John and his version of “Somebody To Love” from The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert) but he lost that litigation with the court wholly rejecting his claims of restraint of trade. However, when Sony sold his contract to Virgin in 1995, he was able to resume his career and he did so in some style. “Jesus To A Child” gave him his first truly solo UK No 1 since 1986’s “A Different Corner” and he followed it with a second chart topper in “Fastlove”. Based around an interpolation of Patrice Rushen’s 1982 hit “Forget Me Nots”, it was a stark contrast from the haunting balladry of its predecessor, a funk-based number celebrating one night stands over committed relationships. The track had a very sophisticated, highly polished production sound to it with the saxophone part played by Andy Hamilton who was responsible for the memorable saxophone break in Duran Duran’s “Rio”. Somehow, the BBC censors missed George singing the line “all that bullshit conversation” at the start of the song.

The B-side was a funked up but slowed down version of “I’m Your Man” showing that George hadn’t totally turned his back on his rich pop past. Although it’s hard to beat the effervescence of the Wham! original, the ‘96 remake is definitely worth a listen:

The song’s futuristic video gave George the opportunity to have a dig at Sony re: the aforementioned court case with one of the promo’s dancers wearing a set of headphones displaying the word ‘FONY’ in the style of the Sony corporate logo. That didn’t stop it from being nominated for three MTV Music Video Awards winning the one for International Viewer’ Choice. Watching it back now, it seems to draw inspiration from the film Logan’s Run, in particular the scene where Logan meets Jessica on ‘the circuit’, the tinder of 2274:

As with a few artists, I kind of lost touch with The Cranberries after a while. I’d enjoyed their early hits and had been to see them live in October of 1994 I think but by 1996, they’d definitely slipped off my radar. “Salvation” was the lead single from their third album “To The Faithful Departed” and was definitely more in the vein of “Zombie” than “Linger”. It would become their joint biggest hit when it peaked at No 13 which seems an awfully low bar for a band that turned out a few cracking hits. I guess they were more of an albums band?

Featuring Dolores O’Riordan stomping all over the track with a strident vocal and almost shouted chorus, “Salvation” was seen as an anti-drug song though Dolores herself described it more as anti anything that took control of you. Sadly for her, she was unable to live by the lyrics of her song and was found dead in 2018 in a hotel room in Mayfair, London with the inquest ruling that she had died by accidental drowning following sedation by alcoholic intoxication.

Here’s something unusual – a controversial Michael Jackson single. I jest of course. Jacko’s whole life (and death) was surrounded by controversy. However, “They Don’t Care About Us” was certainly up there for generating a storm of headlines. The fourth single taken from the “HIStory: Past, Present And Future, Book 1” album, it attracted unwanted (by Jackson) attention both for its lyrics and video. The former were accused of being anti-Semitic with its use of the phrases “Jew me” and “Kike me” which Jackson strenuously denied and, indeed, agreed to re-record the track for subsequent copies of the album with the offending phrases replaced with “sue me” and “strike me”. In the end though, they were just covered up with some abstract noises – you can hear said sounds in the video shown on this TOTP.

The video was filmed in a favela or ghetto in Rio de Janeiro and caused concern for their Secretary of State for Industry, Commerce and Tourism who was worried showing the poverty in the area would adversely affect tourism and Rio’s bid to host the 2004 Olympics. A judge banned the filming of the video but a counter injunction saw it go ahead. Some supported Jackson’s claim of highlighting the poverty in the area whilst others criticised his production team for negotiating with local drug dealers for permission to film in the favela. It’s interesting to note that we only get about 2:20 of the video shown here where in the past TOTP have devoted huge sections of their half hour to showcasing a Jacko exclusive. Could they have been put off by the negative press? As for the song itself, its samba beat and chant like chorus actually make it stand out for me within Jackson’s catalogue – was the “hooo-aaargh” shout halfway through the song and attempted by Beerjte Van Beers in her intro the impetus for Leigh Francis to choose Jackson for one of his outlandish BoSelecta! characters?

The caption accompanying this performance by The Cure says that they haven’t been on TOTP since April 1990. That can’t be right can it? They’d had five Top 40 hits since then. Didn’t any of those justify an appearance on the show? Anyway, “The 13th” was the lead single from the “Wild Mood Swings” album and well, I’m sorry but it’s awful. The Cure do Mariachi? No thanks.

The album was not well received by fans or the music press and it was the band’s poorest selling for 12 years. Even Robert Smith himself has said that he was disappointed with it – maybe he should have taken more heed of the lyric he sang in “The 13th” of “I just know this is a big mistake”. I recall that we didn’t sell many at all in the Our Price where I was working at the time. Though they would never regain their commercial edge, the band are still together and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2019 which gave us this marvellous Robert Smith moment…

Mark Morrison has completed his slow slither up to the No 1 position with “Return Of The Mack”. It’s taken six weeks to get there which was an eternity in 1996 when we were used to singles debuting in the top spot in week one. True to his dubious character, he sidles up to Beertje Van Beers at the end of his performance and drags her away with him as the credits roll. Maybe this was cooked up between the pair of them pre-show but even if it was, it looks terrible especially through 2024 eyes.

For the first time in a while, we have a play out video of a current chart hit rather than a clip from the archives to promote TOTP2. In this case, we get a football song but not that one. Yes, in 1996 if your single about the beautiful game wasn’t called “Three Lions” then it was destined to be forgotten. Who remembers “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” by The 1996 Manchester United FA Cup Squad? Well, you might if you’re a United fan I guess but when it’s not as memorable as the odious “Come On You Reds” from 1994, then you know the game is up. For the record, it was a horrible Reel 2 Real facsimile which is never a good thing.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The WildheartsSick Of DrugsNegative
2Alanis MorissetteIronicNo but I had the Jagged Little Pill album
3Presidents Of The United States Of AmericaPeachesNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations
4Everything But The GirlWalking WoundedDidn’t happen
5George MichaelFastloveNope
6The CranberriesSalvationIt’s a no from me
7Michael JacksonThey Don’t Care About UsI did not
8The CureThe 13thNah
9Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNo
10The 1996 Manchester United FA Cup SquadMove Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020crt/top-of-the-pops-18041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 18 JAN 1996

It’s all change in the charts in these TOTP repeats as all but the No 1 are songs that haven’t featured previously and even that No 1 is in its first (and only) week at the top. There’s also a new host who similarly would only get one go in the hot seat. Comedian Alan Davies had become a well known name both a a live stand up and radio personality by 1996 but he was still a year away from his big mainstream breakthrough role in mystery crime drama Jonathan Creek. Watching this TOTP back, Davies doesn’t seem a particularly good fit for the show. His sardonic humour and aloof manner were perhaps not the ideal skills set for presenting a fast moving, pop music show. He just doesn’t seem very engaged or indeed engaging.

We start tonight with Bucketheads whose last hit was the Top 5 stand out dance tune “The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind)” which combined disco funk with house beats to great effect in 1995. The follow up sort of stuck to that formula with a reworking of Brass Construction’s 1976 hit “Movin’” retitled as “Got Myself Together”. Whilst a very competent dance floor filler I’m sure, for me it didn’t have that something extra that made its predecessor that little bit more intriguing. They’ve wheeled out all the usual visual 70s funk tropes for this performance but I can’t help feeling that you’d be better off listening to the original if funk was your thang (sorry!).

Sunscreem were not a band that I paid that much attention to back in the day but that’s possibly my bad as I’ve quite enjoyed some of their songs when they’ve featured on these TOTP repeats. “Blue Skies” is another case in point. Enough of a good melody in the chorus to satisfy my pop sensibilities but also with the correct bpm to stay hip with the dance heads. If I’d only given them more of a chance in the 90s, I might have had a bit more musical credibility with my record shop colleagues.

As with the artist at No 1 this week, the band had issues with their record company Sony Music. They’d released tracks independently for inclusion on some dance compilations and therefore broke the terms of their contract with Sony. In return, Sony didn’t put much effort into promoting Sunscreem with their second album “Change Or Die” not released in major territories outside of the UK. The writing was on the wall and the band negotiated their release from their Sony contract. Sunscreem are still going though with their last album being released in 2018.

How do you follow one of the biggest selling singles in the world in 1995? Well, in the case of Coolio, and this didn’t seem like the most likely strategy, you release a cover version of an old Kool & The Gang track. “Too Hot” was a hit for Robert ‘Kool’ Bell and his mates in early 1980 but was reactivated by the “Gangsta’s Paradise” star sixteen years later as the follow up to that single. Obviously, it’s not a straight cover what with Coolio being a rapper and all but it does kind of hang together quite well. I can’t say that I remember this one from back then though. In fact, if pressed on Coolio’s cannon of work, I really could only name “Gangsta’s Paradise” and “C U When You Get There” (that inevitably the wags amongst us referred to as “C U Next Tuesday”). I’m sure most people would come up with the same tracks. Both the lyrics and video for “Too Hot” warn of the dangers of unsafe sex which set him apart from some of the other West Coast rappers. Maybe Coolio actually lived in a socially conscious world rather than a “Gangsta’s Paradise”.

Lush were another of those bands that I was on acquaintance terms with only by virtue of knowing what the covers of their albums looked like and who they were distributed by for ordering purposes in the record shops I worked in. As for their sound…well, I knew they were part of the ‘shoe gaze’ crowd but I’m not sure I’d ever actually heard any of their songs which is a shame in hindsight as “Single Girl” is quite the tune. The more I write about my time in record shops, the more it makes me feel like it was a whole list of missed listening opportunities. Anyway, back to Lush and supposedly this era of the band saw them leaving behind that ‘shoe gaze’ phase and moving towards the Britpop zeitgeist; not that Lush saw themselves in that bracket. That’s the thing about Britpop – no act associated with the movement seemed to want to admit to being associated with the movement.

Alan Davies’s intro here seems rather inappropriate in retrospect. His story about chatting up lead singer Miki Berenyi at a Pulp gig and asking for her number only to realise she’d given him that of a pizza delivery place might have seemed vaguely humorous at the time but then Miki posted this on Twitter when the BBC4 TOTP repeat went out recently…

So it was true?! Why did Davies think telling that story to an audience of millions watching at home was a good idea? Did he ask Miki’s permission beforehand to use the anecdote? Thankfully Miki seems like a good sort and went on to say it was 30 years ago and isn’t a big deal.

“Single Girl” was subsequently parodied by the Shirehorses (aka Mark and Lard) as “Single Bloke”. I used to love listening to their Radio 1 afternoon show when I was working in the Our Price store in Altrincham which I’d have on in the background if I happened to be away from the counter. Clearly another reason why I didn’t know how Lush sounded as I could have used that time to acquaint myself with their album. Ah, well.

I think I’ve said this before but what was it with Nightcrawlers (featuring John Reid -for the pedants!) and their song titles? They all seemed to feature the words ‘Push’, ‘Pushing’ or ‘Feeling’. So here we get “Let’s Push It” but they also had hits with “Don’t Let The Feeling Go”, “Keep Pushing Our Love” and “Push The Feeling On” (which was released six times!). Talk about sticking to a formula! Creativity? New ideas? Balls to all that! Just keep selling the masses the same song over and over again and when I say same song, I don’t just mean the titles but also the sound. Seriously, could you really distinguish any of their hits from another?

After starting the decade in spectacular style with the No 1 single “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s In His Kiss)” and No 1 album “Greatest Hits 1965-1992”, there’d been a bit of a downturn for Cher commercially. After “Love And Understanding” made the UK Top 10 in the early Summer of 1991, of her next seven singles released, none got any higher than No 31 with the nadir being reached with the last of those being a version of “I Got You Babe” with Beavis and Butt-head. That was followed by an almighty reversal of fortunes when she featured on the 1995 Comic Relief single “Love Can Build A Bridge” alongside Neneh Cherry, Chrisse Hynde and Eric Clapton which topped the UK chart. I think these days we’d called it an ‘asterisk’ hit what with it being for charity and all. A No 1 is a No 1 though and it acted as a springboard for Cher who recorded her twenty-first studio album and first since 1991’s “Love Hurts” for new label Warners in 1995’s “It’s A Man’s World”. Featuring a number of cover versions of songs by the likes of James Brown, Marc Cohn and The Walker Brothers, it went gold in the UK which was not insignificant but was nowhere near the numbers of her Greatest Hits collection which sold 10 times that amount.

OK, that’s enough stats and chart positions, what about the actual music? “One By One” was the second single released from the album and it was, rather unbelievably, the debut single for Liverpool band The Real People (then known as JoJo And The Real People) in 1987. Who you ask? Well, they may not have had many hits (one minor Top 40 entry in 1992) but they did help none other than Noel Gallagher to record a demo to send out to record companies in the early days of Oasis featuring many songs that would end up on “Definitely Maybe”. So my question is how did “One By One” come to the attention of Cher/her management/Warners? I’m not sure there’s a straight line between the two. Anyway, here’s the original version of the song…

The Cher version released in the UK was quite different to that made available in America. The former was a trademark, chugging rock guitar number but the latter dropped all those traditional stylings (including backing vocals and sax solo) and turned it into an R&B tune. The Wikipedia entry for the song includes clips of both versions and the difference is quite startling. “One By One” made No 7 in the UK and paved the way for Cher to return in 1998 with the all conquering “Believe” album and single.

Talking of Liverpool bands, here’s one that, unlike The Real People, would have loads of hits. Cast were onto their third with “Sandstorm”. I liked this lot. I’d bought their debut single “Finetime” and also enjoyed its follow up “Alright”. Somehow though, I considered this one to be slightly inferior though listening to it now, I’ve no idea why as it’s a banger in very much the same vein as its predecessors. Supposedly a fave of the aforementioned Noel Gallagher, Cast seemed to have timed their arrival to perfection in terms of riding the Britpop zeitgeist. I’m sure they would deny their membership but they were definitely seen as a part of that movement.

On reflection, you could say that these early singles were quite conventional, rock/pop songs but if you’re a good songwriter (as I believe lead singer John Power to be) then your tunes will always stand up when heard through the lens of retrospect. Image wise, Power seems to be copying the Oasis sartorial look with that jacket (or maybe they copied him?) but the standout performer is always Keith O’Neill with his energetic, powerful drumming. At the time, we hadn’t witnessed anything like it on the show since Talk Talk’s Lee Harris a decade earlier.

I’ve given myself a hard time on this blog lately about not remembering certain songs or artists but I think I can give myself a free pass for not recalling this lot. Who on earth were Solo?! Well, apparently, they were an American a cappella R&B group who had one minor hit in the UK with this song “Heaven” which got to No 35. I don’t wish to be unkind but this sounds so dull. Clearly the guys can sing but I’m not sure why TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill thought their performance here was any sort of ‘exclusive’ (“Heaven” wasn’t even a hit in the US) nor why he gave them the direct to camera message slot at the top of the show. And that band name! Is that solo as in with no instruments? Well, no instruments except a double bass it seems. So obvious was the name Solo that they had to go by the name Solo (US) here to avoid confusion with dance producer Stuart Crichton who had released records under that moniker. That’s before we even mention Han Solo (Star Wars), Napoleon Solo (The Man From U.N.C.L.E) and Skid Solo (Tiger comic).

Just as the UK was falling in love with George Michael all over again in 1996, the US seemed to be going a bit cold on him. George had ended Michael Jackson’s six week reign at the top of the charts with “Jesus To A Child” going straight in at No 1. The lead single from his album “Older”, it was followed by a further chart topper in “Fastlove” and three other singles that peaked at either No 2 or No 3. The album went six times platinum here and effortlessly leapt to No 1. However, across the pond, those two singles only made it to Nos 7 and 8 respectively and the album peaked at No 6 and was only the 99th best selling album of the year. By contrast, it was the UK’s 5th best selling of 1996. That’s not to say it didn’t sell at all in the US; one million sales is not to be disregarded lightly but “Faith” sold ten (!) times that amount in the late 80s. Why should this be? Well, maybe the songs weren’t as obviously commercial and radio friendly as those of “Faith” and George had been away for a while – it had been six years since “Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1” came out. Maybe, his audience had just moved on in his absence? It can’t have been a gay backlash as he didn’t come out until 1998. Sadly for George, his stay at the top will last just one week as he was unable to repel the march of “Spaceman” by Babylon Zoo. He should have maybe stuck with those “Faith” era Levi’s.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1BucketheadsGot Myself TogetherNever happening
2SunscreemBlue SkiesNo but maybe should have
3CoolioToo HotNah
4LushSingle GirlNope
5NightcrawlersLet’s Push ItI did not
6CherOne By OneNegative
7CastSandstormSee 2 above
8SoloHeavenDefinitely not
9George MichaelJesus To A ChildAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001z1vm/top-of-the-pops-18011996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 04 JAN 1996

Here we go again…it’s another new year of BBC4 TOTP repeats which means a whole lot more blogging for yours truly. This is my eighth year (real time) of doing this and my fourteenth TOTP year that I’ll have reviewed. “Why?” is probably the question you’re about to ask and it’s one I have posed to myself many a time. I nearly gave it up after finishing the first TOTP year (1983) as it was taking so much time but I didn’t and so resolved to finish the decade. Then another big decision – do I carry on with the 90s repeats? I resolved to at least give it a go as it coincided with my time of working in record shops so I thought that would be a good tie-in and also the provider of potential material for the posts. My personal circumstances changed around this point also which meant that I had more time to devote to it and now I can see the end in sight. Once the 90s repeats are done (assuming we all get that far) I’ll stop. I left record shops behind in 2000 so it seems reasonable to end it all there. By my reckoning, that will be in roughly two years (real) time.

For now though, it’s back to early January 1996. As the singles chart is fairly slow moving and congested after the Christmas sales period, of the nine hits featured on tonight’s show, we’ve seen five of them before. We start with one of those from The Outhere Brothers with Molella and their single “If You Wanna Party”. I have zero left to say about this pair of pillocks and I’m really hoping this is the last time we have to see them on the show. Their discography says they had one more hit after this called “Let Me Hear You Say ‘Ole Ole” which made No 18 in 1997. Well, even if this isn’t their last time on the show that’s at least a year off from the chance of them appearing again. Their very last single was a little ditty called “Ae-Ah” which sounds like the noise I make when I bend down these days.

You never hear Dubstar mentioned when conversation turns to Britpop artists do you? That’s maybe because they weren’t really part of that movement although that didn’t stop us adding them to the Britpop display on an end panel in the Our Price I worked in. “Not So Manic Now” was their third single and then biggest hit before it was trumped by a rerelease of debut single “Stars” in the wake of its success. I quite liked both tracks – they were kind of like a poppier version of Portishead and Sarah Blackwood’s fragrant vocals have an aroma of Kirsty MacColl listening back to them now, a connection I didn’t make at the time. Parent album “Disgraceful” had Robert Steel’s memorable ‘pencil case vulva’ artwork on its cover which certainly made it stand out though the album never quite achieved the sales its singles hinted at when it peaked at No 30. I had no idea until researching this post that “Not So Manic Now” was actually a cover version having been recorded by local Castleford band Brick Supply. Want to hear it? Yeah me too…

…wow! I think I actually prefer that original version. The sort of thing I would have lapped up in the 80s had I been aware of it. If you look online, there is some debate as to what the song is about with some very grim scenarios put forward so I think I prefer to think of it like my mate Robin who would use the song’s title to describe the canon of the Manic Street Preachers material post the disappearance of Richie Edwards.

Two back to back hits we’ve seen before now beginning with “Oh Father” by Madonna. As with every Madonna song, there is reams of stuff written about this online though for myself, having reviewed it once, I’m not inspired to say much more about it. I sometimes think with these prolific artists like Madge and Prince, if you record so much material, it can’t all be good can it? Scanning through her singles discography for example, are the likes of “Gambler”, “Who’s That Girl” or “Hanky Panky” really that great? Sure, she’s made some wonderful pop records over the decades but there has to be the odd duffer in there occasionally surely? For what it’s worth, I don’t think “Oh Father” is one of them though it is rather a ‘lost’ Madonna single which you rarely hear played on the radio.

So by my reckoning, this is the fourth time that Boyzone have been on the show performing “Father And Son” including one from months earlier when they featured in the ‘Album Chart’ slot. That seems like an awful lot of times – when Ronan says to the studio audience mid song “Boyzone back on Top of the Pops” he wasn’t wrong was he? He probably should have added the words “yet again” though. This is clearly just a reshowing of one of those four appearances – you can tell because Roman’s got his hair gelled in spikes but he has it flattened in one of the later performances.

The song has longevity in other ways as well. It was originally a hit for Cat Stevens in 1970 then, of course, Boyzone twenty-five years later. In 2004, the two joined forces with Ronan Keating doing a virtual duet with Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam) which also rose to No 2 with the profits going to the Band Aid Trust. Then, sixteen years on from that, Yusuf put together a duet of the song with himself using his original 1970 vocals for the ‘son’ part and recording his 2020 self voice for the role of the ‘father’. Johnny Cash also recorded two versions of the track, once in 1974 and a version also turned up on his posthumous 2003 album “Unearthed” as a duet with Fiona Apple. Just for good measure, psychedelic rockers the Flaming Lips got involved in the song’s story when their track “Fight Test” was deemed in a lawsuit to be so similar to “Father And Son” that 75% of any royalties from it have to go to Yusuf Islam.

I thought I didn’t know this next song – “Lump” by the Presidents Of The United States Of America – but as soon as I heard it, everything came rushing back. My lack of memory isn’t easy to understand given the song’s hook is pretty basic. Maybe I just haven’t heard it agin in the intervening 28 years since it was in the charts. I’m guessing it doesn’t get that much radio play. If you do hear the band on the airwaves these days, it’s probably their biggest hit “Peaches” anyway. To my utter surprise, their discography tells me that they had two other Top 40 entries in the UK singles chart. Maybe I’d remember them too if I heard them but I really can’t be arsed to put that theory to the test. There is however one other song that they did that I do recall and guess what? It’s a cover version of a huge song. No wonder I remember it. In 1998, Presidents Of The United States Of America recorded their take on the iconic song “Video Killed The Radio Star” by British synth pop band the Buggles which I only knew because it featured in the Adam Sandler film The Wedding Singer as it wasn’t a hit peaking at No 52 here. I quite enjoyed their version actually when I would have thought it was impossible to hold a torch to the Buggles so kudos to them.

Anyway, back to “Lump” and its garage rock channelling, unsophisticated sound was a welcome presence in the charts as an antidote to all those over processed, homogenised Eurodance tunes and, some might say, a decent alternative to the ever pervasive Britpop movement. As for that band name, I’m guessing they chose it so they could be introduced on stage at gigs with “Ladies and gentlemen…the Presidents Of The United States Of America”.

Whatever the truth was behind the departure of Louise Nurding (as was) from Eternal, as with Robbie Williams exit from Take That, it didn’t look like losing a high profile member was going to derail the group; at least initially anyway. Second album “Power Of A Woman” sold two million copies worldwide (although that was half the amount of debut “Always And Forever”) and furnished the reconfigured trio with four Top 10 hits the second of which was “I Am Blessed”. Presumably, this huge ballad was released with the Christmas market in mind though looking at its chart run, something somewhere didn’t quite go to plan. Debuting at No 14 two weeks before Christmas, the chances of it sweeping all others before it to become the festive chart topper looked remote at best. A two place move the following week and then a one place drop the week after would suggest that maybe the marketing or promotion of the single was off. Did it get swallowed up in the Christmas glut of competing releases? And then, curiously, an upturn with three consecutive weeks of chart climbs saw it break into the Top 10 finally coming to a halt at a high of No 7. It just doesn’t seem like the record performed how it would have been expected to by the group’s label.

Maybe that rise up the charts had something to do with, if not divine intervention, then at least papal influence as the trio did indeed (as referenced by host Nicky Campbell) perform “I Am Blessed” for then Pope John Paul II at the Vatican. Rather than being a gospel number though, it sounds like the type of power ballad that could have sat comfortably withinthe track listing of the soundtrack to The Bodyguard with Easther Bennett doing her best Whitney Houston impression. There was, however, a bona fide gospel number as an extra track on the CD single with the trio taking on “Oh Happy Day” by the Edwin Hawkins Singers. As if performing for the Pope wasn’t enough, Eternal were still a year or so away from the band’s commercial high point of achieving a No 1 single with “I Wanna Be The Only One”. Hallelujah!

Again? Seriously? As good as song as it is, this must be about the fifth time that Everything But The Girl have been on the show performing “Missing”. What else can I say about this song? Well, nothing really but then there is more to Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt than this track. I guess like most people, I first came across the duo in 1984 when “Each And Every One” made No 28 on the UK Top 40. From then, I kind of lost sight of them until 1986 and the wonderful “Come On Home” single. It was taken from the album “Baby, The Stats Shine Bright” which my wife loved and is one of the records that I always associate with first meeting her when we were both 18. A couple more albums followed including “Idlewild” which housed their then biggest hit single, that Rod Stewart cover, which took them to No 3 but which I was never that fond of. They put that right though with their sumptuous “Covers EP” in 1992. “Amplified Heart” arrived in 1994 with the original version of “Missing” before that Todd Terry remix changed everything.

In amongst all of this, Ben would suffer the potentially fatal and certainly life changing Churg-Strauss syndrome, an autoimmune condition that resulted in him having 5m of necrotised small intestine removed. In 1997, Ben wrote a book called Patient about his experience and I was lucky enough to catch him talking about it during a personal appearance at Waterstones on Deansgate, Manchester as part of the book tour to support its publication. It really is a remarkable story and I urge anyone to read the book if you come across it – it was out of print for a few years but was republished on the Bloomsbury imprint in 2014. There, that’s better than rehashing what I’ve already said about “Missing” because you know what? I don’t want to talk about it (ahem).

And here’s another song I don’t want to talk about – Michael Jackson is still No 1 with “Earth Song” but I’m going to skip this completely as in a few repeats time, we’ll be entering February, the month of the BRIT awards and that protest by Jarvis Cocker against Jacko’s performance of this track at them. Consider my powder kept dry…

Nicky Campbell! What are you doing man?! Whose idea was this to get him to pose naked with just a guitar to cover his modesty?! Do you think he is actually nude? I didn’t want to look too closely to investigate further. He could be as I’m pretty sure that bit was recorded on a closed set – there’s no sign of any studio audience in shot. The apparent reason for the…what should we call this?…’sketch’ (?) is because the video for the new George Michael single was rumoured to feature some nudity but didn’t so Campbell added some of his own. A likely story.

What is true is that this was the first self penned single by George in nearly four years so it was kind of a big deal. On top of that, it was the first new material with new record label Virgin since leaving his contract with Sony Music after a protracted legal battle. “Jesus To A Child” was the lead single from George’s third studio album “Older”. It would be a huge commercial success – No 1 in the UK, the fifth best selling album here of 1996 (eventually going six times platinum) and giving George six hit singles all of which went Top 3 or higher; this was the first time this had ever been achieved in this country. The front cover of the album features a simple close up of George’s face half covered in shadow. He’d changed his look significantly since we’d last seen him in public (his performance at the Freddie Mercury tribute concert?). The bouncy hair and designer stubble had been replaced by a buzz cut and sculpted facial hair which puts me in mind somehow of Mr. Claypole (if you know, you know). I’m sure there was a story at the time about how the initial designs for the artwork for the album had been stolen and turned up in somebody’s dustbin or something but maybe I’m mistaken.

As for “Jesus To A Child”, it was a deeply personal song written about the death of George’s partner Anselmo Feleppa who’d died from an AIDS related brain haemorrhage in 1993 (Michael was not yet out about his sexuality but he retrospectively went on record saying the clues were there for those who were listening). In many respects it was a brave sound to come out with as your first new material for years. A brooding, sombre mature ballad that was completely at odds with a musical landscape of Britpop and dance tunes. It was definitely more aligned to “Different Corner” than “Too Funky”. The UK record buying public reacted positively to it though; so positively that it went straight to No 1 albeit for a solitary week. My main memory of this song though is being asked by a punter in the Our Price store I was working in what the new George Michael single was called. I must have been distracted that day as I came back with the answer “Jesus To A Lizard” mixing up George with US hardcore rockers The Jesus Lizard. I felt as embarrassed as Nicky Campbell should have been.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The Outhere Brothers with MolellaIf You Wanna PartyI do, I do…but not with you two berks – NO!
2DubstarNot So Manic NowLiked it, didn’t buy it
3MadonnaOh FatherNo
4BoyzoneFather And Son Nah
5Presidents Of The United States Of AmericaLumpIt’s a no
6EternalI Am BlessedNegative
7Everything But The GirlMissingNo but I must have it on something surely?
8Michael JacksonEarth SongTeam Jarvis all the way! That’s a no by the way
9George MichaelJesus To A ChildNope

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001yty5/top-of-the-pops-04011996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 13 MAY 1993

These TOTP repeats are bloody relentless! If you get a bit behind with them like I did last week as I was away for a few days, it takes a real effort to get back up to date. It’s the double bills with two shown every Friday on BBC4 that makes it so hard to keep up. Why can’t they just show one a week like they would have done when originally broadcast?

*checks schedule for next week*

That’s what I’m talking about! There’s only one show on this coming Friday for some reason. Why can’t they do that all the time?! For now though, I’m still on catch up so time to get writing…

What can I tell you about this week in May 1993. Well, on this very day Chris Waddle was voted the Football Writers Association’s Player of the Year. Waddle had returned to English football after a spell in France with Marseilles and helped his new club Sheffield Wednesday to both domestic cup finals that season. In fact, the second of those took place two days after this TOTP broadcast. A 1-1 draw with Arsenal meant a replay was required (the last one ever in an FA Cup final) the knock on effect of which was that TOTP was shunted to the Friday the following week to allow for BBC’s coverage of the second match on the Thursday. Waddle even scored in that replay but his team still went down 2-1 to a last minute extra time winner.

Waddle, of course, wasn’t just known for football. No, there was that mullet hairstyle and his own dalliance with being a pop star in the 80s alongside his then team mate Glenn Hoddle. Yes, three years before Gazzamania saw Paul Gascoigne become a chart star, Glenn and Chris beat him to it with “Diamond Lights”, a genuine contender for the title of the worst record of all time.

Waddle stayed at Wednesday until 1996 before the inevitable descent down the leagues which had him seeing out his playing career in non-league football with the likes of Glapwell and Stockbridge Park Steels. To paraphrase that famous milk advert, “who are they?!”. He also entered popular culture as a comedy reference (not for his hairstyle though) but for this…

Excellent stuff! Anyway, on with the ‘proper’ music. Now I would count myself as a fan of OMD but I don’t remember this track at all. In fairness, the band’s career had been a series of boom and bust periods so there were always going to be some singles that slipped under the net. “Architecture And Morality” was a definite boom time whereas “Dazzle Ships” was misunderstood and misfired. “Junk Culture” took them in a more mainstream pop direction resulting in chart success but “Crush” and “The Pacific Age” mustered just one Top 20 hit between them. With the band splintering at the end of the 90s, that could have been that but a remarkable resurrection took place in 1991 with Andy McCluskey masterminding two consecutive Top 10 singles on the bounce and a successful album in “Sugar Tax”.

With their comeback officially confirmed, another album for the new look band was required. “Liberator” was that album with “Stand Above Me” its lead single. Even McCluskey isn’t keen on it describing it as “busy and messy” in a 2019 Record Collector interview. He went on to say “I was aware that Britpop was approaching and I didn’t know what I should do”. In the end, he basically rewrote “Sailing On The Seven Seas” and called it “Stand Above Me”. In fact, quite a few of their songs had started to morph into one at this point. There wasn’t much between say, “Dreaming”, “”Call My Name” and “Pandora’s Box” – all good pop tunes but a million miles away from those more experimental early hits like “Enola Gay”, “Joan Of Arc” and “Genetic Engineering”.

Still, Andy McCluskey gives the impression of being happy with his lot in this performance although his opening shout of ‘Kick it!’ was ill judged. There’s something that doesn’t compute watching three of them on stage swinging guitars around with a banner behind proclaiming them to be OMD. With three guitars on display? No wonder McCluskey said it had all got a bit messy.

“Stand Above Me” peaked at No 21.

What?! Shabba Ranks again?! No, I absolutely refuse to talk about him anymore. I’d rather watch Maxi Priest play football which is handy as here he is…

OK, he’s no Chris Waddle but check out this about him courtesy of @TOTPFacts…

“Housecall” peaked at No 8.

Ah, I thought we hadn’t seen her for a few shows but she’s back with yet another of a seemingly infinite number of singles from her album “So Close”. Seeing as it’s 1993, it can only be Dina Carroll that I am referring to. “Express” was the fifth single released from the album in just under twelve months and yet surprisingly was the biggest hit of the lot to that point peaking at No 12.

I’ve said it before in just about every post that’s featured Dina but her chart history is really intriguing. The fact that she could get her biggest hit of five with the fifth release is odd enough on its own but when you throw in the massive curveball that is “Don’t Be A Stranger”…there’s so much to be explained. Why did A&M wait five months after “Express” before releasing it? They’d released three singles in the same time period up to that point. Why was it left to being the sixth and final single to be released when they knew they had it up their sleeves all along? I read somewhere recently that so many singles were taken from the album as it wasn’t crossing over from the limited UK soul market and A&M were trying to promote it to the mainstream market. That theory doesn’t really add up though as it spent fourteen weeks in the Top 10 between January and September before slipping down the charts. True, when “Don’t Be A Stranger” was a huge hit, the album rocketed up the charts again spending three consecutive weeks at No 2 but the idea that the album wasn’t a success before that doesn’t really hold water for me. God, I sound a bit obsessed by all this don’t I? I don’t even have any of Dina’s records so I don’t know why I should be.

As for “Express”, it stood out from some of her other mid tempo soul singles as it was a definite attempt to incorporate some funk into proceedings including a parping sax noise that just about avoided being annoying. I think the kids today would call the song ‘sassy’.

A second studio appearance for Robert Plant now whose “29 Palms” single is this week’s highest climber (he’ll go no further than this peak of No 21 though). Not a lot of thought seems to have gone into the staging of this performance by the TOTP production team. There’s a couple of palm trees at either end of the stage (palms – geddit?) and some neon signage that’s meant to give the impression of an American diner (do you get diners on beaches?). To add to the imagery, one of Robert’s band has come dressed as a surfer dude/beach bum.

Another of the band (the guitarist in the green shirt) is Kevin Scott Macmichael whom, seven years prior to this appearance, I interviewed when he was in the band Cutting Crew. They were riding high in the charts with “(I Just) Died In Your Arms” and I’d just become a student at Sunderland Polytechnic and interviewed them for the student newspaper before a gig that they were playing at the Poly. As I recall Kevin was quietly spoken and generous with his time to an 18 years old me who didn’t really know what I was doing. Kevin sadly died of lung cancer in 2002.

By 1993, it had been ten years since Tina Turner’s music career comeback began with “Let’s Stay Together” and the “Private Dancer” album. More huge hits followed – 1989’s “Foreign Affair” album sold six million copies worldwide whilst her “Simply The Best” Best Of collection two years later went eight times platinum in the UK alone. Despite all this success and profile (or maybe because of it), the world still needed to see and hear more of Tina and so a biopic was the next logical step. What’s Love Got To Do With It was that film starring Angela Bassett as Tina. I watched it on TV once – it wasn’t bad. Obviously given its subject matter, the film would have a soundtrack album and promoting it was this single “I Don’t Wanna Fight”. Written by Lulu (no, really) it’s actually a pretty accomplished soul pop ballad which would go Top 10 both here and in the US, the last time she ever achieved that feat in the latter territory.

The normally reliable Mark Franklin gets the song’s title wrong in his intro referring to it (I think)) as ‘I Don’t Want To Go Fighting’ making it sound like her reply to Elton John’s rallying cry of “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting”. Tina seemed as keen on song titles beginning ‘I Don’t Wanna…’ as Sting did for those starting with the word ‘Every’. “I Don’t Wanna Lose You” was a No 8 hit for her in 1989. She should have done one called “I Don’t Wanna Perform This Song In A Virtually Empty Theatre Venue In Monte Carlo” as this ‘exclusive’ was yet another example of TOTP thinking they were bringing us something special when it really wasn’t. An empty venue devoid of atmosphere in an exotic location like Monte Carlo is still an empty venue devoid of atmosphere.

There’s a good mix of Breakers this week according to Mark Franklin so let’s put that claim to the test. We start with The Waterboys who were last in the charts two years earlier when a rerelease of “The Whole Of The Moon” finally got the chart placing it deserved when it peaked at No 3. The single promoted a Best Of album that was released by EMI as one final attempt to milk the cash cow before their artist jumped ship to Geffen. The first new material of that move was the album “Dream Harder” which was preceded by the lead single “The Return Of Pan”. This was the second time that Mike Scott had written a song about the Greek deity after “The Pan Within” from 1985 album “This Is The Sea”.

I remember the album coming out but I’m not sure it ever got a spin on the shop stereo in the Our Price store in Rochdale where I was working. I probably should have found a quiet Tuesday afternoon to give it a proper play. After all, my association with The Waterboys stretched back to 1983 when I heard their very first single “A Girl Called Johnny” which I had on a compilation album called “Chart Stars”. If that makes me sound like I was a very cutting edge 14 year old, I really wasn’t. That album also included Galaxy, Bonnie Tyler and (gulp) The Kids From Fame! Quite how the first single by The Waterboys made it in to the running order I’m not sure but a flop single by The Teardrop Explodes was also on there so it was an odd thing. Presumably the compilers filled it with whatever they could get licences for.

Anyway, supposedly “Dream Harder” had a much more of a rock guitar vein to it than their previous work but then I’ve always struggled to describe their musical style. When I went for my initial interview at Our Price for a Xmas temp position in 1990, there was a music quiz and one of the sections was to identify the musical genre of an artist. One of those artists was The Waterboys. My answer? ‘Folky/bluesy type thing’. The correct answer was, of course, Rock/Pop.

“The Return Of Pan” peaked at No 24.

Well, in terms of ‘a mix’ of music, Mark Franklin was right but ‘a good mix’? That’s surely not the right word if one of those records in the mix is this. “The Jungle Book Groove” by The Disney Cast was presumably released to cash in on the fact that The Jungle Book had been made available on VHS this year. As I remember, Disney employed a very strategic release strategy around this time. They’d deleted all their classic film titles and then rereleased them one at a time so as to focus full attention on that one product as opposed to just making them all available on mass. This created a discounting price war with retailers looking closely at what everyone else was doing to guide their pricing policy. Whilst we all nipped into each other’s shops to see what they were selling the video for, one of the supermarkets stole everyone’s thunder (was it Asda?) by selling it at the cheapest price but with the added gimmick of qualifying for a free banana in the process! Genius!

There’d already been a Disney medley single by The UK Mixmasters called “Bare Necessities Megamix” which had been a hit over the Xmas of 1991 but that didn’t put off the Disney money men from selling it to us all over again by releasing “The Jungle Book Groove” on the Disney affiliated label Hollywood Records. Now look, I don’t mind a Disney film nor the songs in them but I do mind them being cynically packaged and turning up in the Top 40. No Disney, I don’t wanna be like you.

The final Breaker comes from Bon Jovi who have released a third (of six in total) single from their “Keep The Faith” album. This one was “In Your Arms” and was pretty standard Jovi fare that sounds like they could have knocked it out in a couple of hours with their thumbs up their bums, minds in neutral as my old History teacher was prone to saying. Perfect daytime radio fodder though.

My main memory of this song is hearing a news feature on Radio 1 whilst travelling in a car with my work colleague Andy on the way to a concert in Sheffield.* “In Your Arms” had just been released and the feature covered the story that, presumably in a coordinated promotional move by the record company, The London Trocadero had just installed a waxwork of Jon Bon Jovi and a crowd of fans had gathered for the unveiling. I think Jon was there in person at the event as the crowd were chanting “We want the flesh, we want the flesh…”.

A couple of years later, I found myself alone and at a loose end in London on a visit to my friend Robin who lived down there. I decided a trip to The Trocadero was in order and found myself having my photo taken with the waxwork Jon. For some reason, I thought this would be a good souvenir of my visit and purchased said photo! So proud was I of it that I put it on display on the staff room wall in the Our Price in Stockport where I was working. What was I thinking?! My work colleagues didn’t half take the piss and, to be fair, I absolutely deserved it. No idea where it is now – the photo not the waxwork which must have surely been melted down by now.

“In Your Arms” peaked at No 9.

*Yes, it was that concert, the Michael Bolton one and no, I’m not about to go into how that came about all over again.

After the Breakers come the Abominations or Inner Circle as I like to call them. “Sweat (A La La La La Long)” is up to No 5 on its way to a peak of No 3 and so another studio performance is in order. The thrifty TOTP producers have recycled the stage that Robert Plant used with its palm trees to made it look like a beach party.

If you search for Inner Circle on the internet today, one of the results is for an online dating app. It’s a good job that online dating wasn’t around when Inner Circle the band were in the charts. I don’t think having these lines on your profile would win over potential partners:

Girl I’m want to make you sweat, sweat ‘till you can’t sweat no more

And if you cry out, I’m gonna push it some more

Just nasty.

Another week at the top for the “Five Live” EP and another different track from it on the show. This time it’s George Michael’s take on “Killer” by Adamski which is mashed up with “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone” made famous by The Temptations. This wasn’t from the 1992 Freddie Mercury tribute concert but was recorded at Wembley Arena the year before.

By my reckoning, this is the third time “Killer” had been a hit. The Adamski original was No 1 in 1990 and then Seal took his own version into the Top 10 in late 1991. As for “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone”, aside from The Temptations’ 1973 US No 1, it was a Top 20 hit for Was (Not Was) in 1990.

There’s a little bonus clip before the credits roll as the BBC promote the Eurovision Song Contest that took place two days after this TOTP aired. As such, we get the video for the UK entry who in 1993 was Sonia with “Better The Devil You Know”. Sonia came second taking the result to the final set of points allocated before losing out to Ireland’s Niamh Kavanagh. Her performance meant that the single got a small boost sales wise and reversed its descent down the charts meaning its seven week run looked like this:

22 – 18 – 25 – 17 – 15 – 40 – 57

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1OMD Stand Above MeI did not
2Shabba Ranks / Maxi PriestHousecallDo one will ya!
3Dina Carroll ExpressNope
4Robert Plant29 PalmsNo but I had that promo CD of the album
5Tina TurnerI Don’t Wanna FightNo
6The WaterboysThe Return Of PanNah
7Disney CastThe Jungle Book GrooveNever happening
8Bon JoviIn These ArmsSee 4 above
9Inner CircleSweat (A La La La La Long)As if
10George Michael Five Live EPDon’t think I did
11SoniaBetter The Devil You KnowAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001b0cb/top-of-the-pops-13051993

TOTP 06 MAY 1993

When I decided to carry on doing these TOTP reviews into the 90s repeats, the one year I really wasn’t looking forward to revisiting was 1993. In my mind’s eye, it was all nasty Eurodance anthems, the dreaded three ‘S’s of Shaggy, Shabba and Snow and the worst Xmas No 1 of all time. Well, we’re into May now and whilst the horror of Mr Blobby is still a way off, we’ve already had plenty of the of the other flavours of shite. Let’s hope a new month brings new hope of better things to come…

Well, that hope didn’t last long did it! FFS! Straight off the bat we have some more Eurodance nonsense courtesy of one of the genre’s biggest acts. After driving us all insane with the abomination that was “No Limit”, 2 Unlimited have not been able to resist the temptation to do it all over again with a tune that is so similar they should have just called it “No Limit 2.0” and be done with it. In truth, all their tunes pretty much sounded the same though didn’t they? And yes by saying that, I now sound just like my Dad speaking to me about pop music circa 1983. “Tribal Dance” was the latest of their musical oeuvre to annoy the shit out of us and it would rise to No 4 in this, the biggest year of their career. This track supposedly includes more of Ray’s raps than usual but still less than the version that the rest of Europe would get. I have to say that I don’t feel short changed.

There was a lot of talk online about this TOTP performance and it mostly revolved around the words ‘inappropriate’ and “cultural appropriation’ and you can see why? What the hell were those costumes the backing dancers were wearing all about?! Yes, obviously somebody was trying to pursue a theme of ‘tribal’ as per the song’s title but this?! Of course, it’s quite possible that nobody made any sort of dissenting comment back in 1993 but you like to think we live in more enlightened times these days. Or perhaps we don’t. I’m sure I could be accused of being too ‘woke’ about it by someone. In truth though, all you need is Michael Caine a red tunic and you’ve got a re-enactment of the film Zulu.

The official video for “That’s The Way Love Goes” by Janet Jackson soundtracks the Top 40 countdown to No 11. It’s also the second of three new entries inside the Top 5 this week that we will see on the show tonight. Reading some of the online comments about the video, I’m now wondering if I’m missing something. People seem to love this promo and describe it as being “a timeless classic”, “visually stylish” and “one of the most creative videos ever made” with the protagonists “chillin’ and vibin’ out together”. And yet. All I’m seeing is Janet surrounded by some sycophants (including a very young Jennifer Lopez) in a loft apartment imploring her to play a tape of her new single before mooching and smooching about with each other. I’m probably just a grumpy, middle aged man who’s forgotten how to have fun and enjoy anything anymore though.

“That’s The Way Love Goes” peaked at No 2 in the UK and was a No 1 record in the US.

After starting the show with some frenetic Eurodance beats before sliding into some slinky R&B vibes we now arrive at a huge slice of stadium house courtesy of Utah Saints (U-U-U-Utah Saints)*. “Believe In Me” was the third of their trilogy of Top 10 hits and although I thought it was OK, it didn’t quite have the immediacy of “What Can You Do For Me” and “Something Good”. After turning to Eurythmics and Kate Bush for source material for those two tracks, they’ve stuck with the 80s by sampling The Human League for this one. It works but doesn’t seem as clever as its predecessors, a bit too obvious somehow.

*Sorry, contractually obliged to do that

In their wisdom, the TOTP producers have decided to overlay the whole performance here with a green wavelength graphic which probably seemed like a good idea at the time but which feels intrusive in retrospect. And what on earth is that the guy with the tied back dreadlocks playing? It looks like a key-tar but has some sort of built in computer where a keyboard should be. It’s like a prototype for the controller in the Guitar Hero computer game. Oh and the “This is the Utah Saints calling all humanoids” line is entirely lame. Reminded me of this sketch:

I wasn’t wrong about 1993. It really was the year that kept on giving – the problem was that it was serving up huge dollops of horseshit. Here’s another steaming clump – “All That She Wants” by Ace Of Base. This was one of those songs that came from nowhere and was suddenly huge immediately. That’s how it felt anyway. It must have been picking up plenty of airplay before it went massive as I’m sure we kept getting asked about it in the Our Price I was working in before it was in the charts. We didn’t have a clue what it was the punters were talking about but Head Office soon cottoned on and ordered it in for stores in bulk. How this cod reggae/ lowest common denominator Europop mash up made *SPOILER ALERT* three weeks at No 1 is as mystifying as the rise and rise of Liz Truss. I always hated that little sax parp that introduced the chorus and also the way the vocalist sang the line ‘She’s the hunter, you’re the fox’ with that elongated, descending stress on the last word. Heinous isn’t a strong enough word for it. The performance here didn’t help to endear me to the song either. Who did the two women arm dancing think they were? Susan and Joanne from the aforementioned Human League?

Ace Of Base were, of course, from Sweden and are the third biggest selling band from those shores after ABBA and Roxette but when the competition for that particular bronze medal includes the likes of Rednex (of “Cotton Eye Joe” fame), Dr. Alban and Europe, it rather undermines the achievement of a place on the rostrum.

I really feel the need for something decent in this week’s Breakers to lift the mood, nay standard. We start with something unusual though. I knew Sounds Of Blackness were a gospel group but that’s all that I knew and I certainly couldn’t have named any of their songs.

However, having looked them up on Wikipedia I do remember the cover for their 1993 album “Africa To America: The Journey Of The Drum” from which this single – “I’m Going All The Way” – came. It was produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis who were nothing if not versatile – they were also the producers behind Janet Jackson who was on the show earlier of course. Look, I can appreciate gospel music but back in 1993 I don’t think it was what I was looking for and I certainly wasn’t expecting to find it in the Top 40.

In my head, there’s a definite line drawn in 1985 that marked the end of Depeche Mode as, for want of a better description, a pop band and their going forwards as, for want of another better description, a rock band. Now I do know that those terms are far too simplistic to do justice to the career of the band. I think it’s just that 1985 saw the release of their first Best Of album “The Singles 81>85” and that felt like a real marker in the sand that said, ‘OK, here’s a a physical reminder of everything we’ve done up to this point but from here on in, we’re going in a new direction”. The following year “Black Celebration” was released and everything did feel different starting with its dark lead single “Stripped”.

By 1993, Depeche Mode had perfected that new, harder sound into something massively commercial. The 1990 ”Violator” album sold seven and a half million copies worldwide and housed four classic singles. Then came “Songs Of Faith And Devotion” starting with strident lead single “I Feel You” which we didn’t get to see on TOTP for some reason. The follow up single was “Walking In My Shoes” and this little snippet on the Breakers was all we got of it. What was going on here? It’s another great track, doomy yet melodic and the video sees Dave Gahan in his full on rock god phase. Tragedy of course struck the band in May this year with the unexpected death of Andy Fletcher. Just today though, photos have been released of Gahan and Martin Gore back in the studio which is good news.

The second hit for Rage Against The Machine now. After “Killing In The Name” had been a No 25 hit earlier in the year (sixteen years before its Xmas No 1 sideshow), “Bullet In The Head” did even better piercing yer actual Top 20.

The band have been nominated for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame on four occasions (2017, 2018, 2019 and 2021) but failed every time to get voted in. Rage Against The Machine there, the Nigel Farage of funk metal. And yes, I know their political views couldn’t be more diametrically opposed but I need to put this post to bed and a cheap line is all I’ve got for this lot.

Oh do f**k off! Even in 1993 at the height of his infamy, nobody needed any more Shabba Ranks surely?! After the Top 3 success of “Mr. Loverman” (itself a rerelease), record company Sony were always going to give 1991 single “Housecall” another tilt at the charts. It peaked at No 31 on its initial release but a remix saw it leap into the Top 10 second time around. A collaboration with Maxi Priest (whom I have no beef with BTW), it gave rise to the “Shabba!” sample on “Mr. Loverman” that was both ubiquitous and pilloried in 1993.

Finally some genuine relief from all this musical crud! Kingmaker hailed from Hull (my home for these last eighteen years) but in 1993 I was living in Manchester and working in Rochdale so I missed what surely must have been a sense of excitement in the band’s hometown at having the first authentic chart act since The Housemartins in the 80s.

“Ten Years Asleep” was their third Top 40 hit and came from their sophomore album “Sleepwalking”. Unbelievably, its lead single “Armchair Anarchist” which is a fab tune had stalled at No 47 in October of 1992 but its follow up did the trick rising to No 15, the band’s joint highest chart placing. True, it wasn’t a million miles away from the sound of acts like The Wonder Stuff and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin but at a time when decent indie pop tunes were at a premium, this was wonderful. Dealing with the vexing and existential subject of the passing of time and the inevitable conforming behaviours that seem to affect all of us, the lyrics showed what a great writer Loz Hardy was even though his hand had been forced by the band’s record label demanding that he essentially write a hit record. In this performance he looks like Ian Hart playing John Lennon in The Beatles biopic Backbeat.

It seems odd to consider it now but Kingmaker had been a bigger deal than the likes of Radiohead and Suede both of whom had supported them on tour in 1992. However, disputes with their record label about approaches to writing, recording and formatting of their music hampered their progress and by the time that third album “In The Best Possible Taste” came out in 1995, they’d been sunk by the good ship Britpop. They split soon after but reformed briefly in 2010 without Hardy as Kingmaker MMX.

Oh dear. In fact, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. This is just cringe (the kids don’t use the ‘worthy’ suffix do they?). Nobody can deny Elton John his place in musical history (except my mate Robin who once told me that he didn’t like even one of his songs) but this is just…wrong.

“Simple Life” was the fourth and final single from his 1992 album “The One” and it failed to make the Top 40 despite this ‘exclusive’ TOTP performance from Atlanta. Literally, what was the point of this? The song is turgid enough but the sight of Elton all togged up on a stage with just a black backdrop for company and deprived of his piano thereby forcing him into attempting to (gulp) ‘dance’…well, it’s just cruel. He even flicks his wig at one point as if to say ‘look I’ve got hair’ even though we know he didn’t. Please, I know I said spare me from all the Eurodance crap earlier in the post but this really wasn’t the lifebelt I was hoping for.

While Elton was struggling around the edges of the Top 40, his mate George Michael was still at No 1 as part of the “Five Live” EP. Last week we had his version of Queen’s “Somebody To Love” but this time it’s his duet with Lisa Stansfield on their 1991 Xmas No 1 (double A-sided with “Bohemian Rhapsody”) “These Are The Days Of Our Lives”. Recorded at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert of the previous year, I’d never liked the original but in the hands (or rather mouths) of George and Lisa it sounds pretty good. The former wouldn’t release any new music after this until 1996’s “Older” album but the latter would return later in 1993 with her third studio album “So Natural”.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
12 UnlimitedTribal DanceDefinitely not
2Janet JacksonThat’s The Way Love GoesNah
3Utah SaintsBelieve In MeI did not
4Ace Of BaseAll That She WantsAs if
5Sounds Of BlacknessI’m Going All The WayNo
6Depeche ModeWalking In My ShoesGood song but no
7Rage Against The MachineBullet In The HeadNope
8Shabba Ranks and Maxi PriestHousecallAway with you!
9KingmakerTen Years AsleepI seem have been asleep as it’s not in the singles box
10Elton JohnSimple LifeHell no!
11Queen / George Michael / Lisa StansfieldFive Live EPDon’t think I did

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0019tp2/top-of-the-pops-06051993

TOTP 29 APR 1993

What happens to pop stars when the fame slides away and, as that infamous Bros documentary put it, when the screaming stops? Well, some stay in the world of entertainment but reinvent themselves as actors or DJs. Statistically there must be some I guess who can’t handle it and slide into a world of drink and drugs. There must also be a large number who just get ‘ordinary’ jobs like the rest of us. There can’t be many though that became even more famous as a professor of particle physics and the public face of anything scientific. I talk, of course, of Professor Brian Cox who famously was also, in his youth, the keyboards player in D:Ream. And yes, D:Ream are on the show tonight. And yes, I didn’t mention Brian Cox in the last post when his band were in the Breakers section knowing I could leave that discussion for this week. Seen by many as the natural successor to the likes of David Attenborough (even though their fields aren’t remotely the same), he’s certainly more famous now for making science hip than making hit singles. I wonder if they’ll be any more pop stars on tonight’s show who became famous for something other than pop music?

So we start with Prof Cox and D:Ream who are having a mini career before they go massive next year. It’s a curious chart history. 1993 brought them four hit singles yet none got any higher than No 19. The following year, they also had four hit singles but two of them were included in those hits from 1993. This time those repeated singles went to No 1 and No 4. In total there were nine single releases from their “D:Ream On Vol 1” album but across just six tracks with “Things Can Only Get Better” being released twice (once for the Labour General Election campaign of 1997) and this song “U R The Best Thing” three times! I guess their record label must have had unshakable faith that they really were going to be big.

Cox looks unrecognisable here with a mane of long hair which he keeps swishing from side to side and a sleeveless tartan suit (God in heaven! What was he thinking?!). Mind you, wasn’t lead singer Peter Cunnah partial to a tartan suit as well? Maybe we’ll see that it a future TOTP. I used to work with someone who had a drinking mug with Brian Cox’s face on it as she was a fan. The slogan emblazoned all around the mug? Me Love Cox. When I pointed out the obvious double entendre, it had genuinely never occurred to her!

It’s that REM single next that even if you weren’t a fan of the band or even pop music in general had to admit was a pretty good song. “Everybody Hurts” had that elusive quality to be able to cut through all different strata of society and be affecting. With its themes of dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts and its melancholy sound, it was an obvious choice for it to soundtrack a 1995 awareness campaign by The Samaritans.

Fifteen years on, it was covered to raise money for victims of the Haiti earthquake. Multiple artists were involved in the project including Mariah Carey, Rod Stewart, Take That, Kylie Minogue and Westlife and, with a nice link to D:Ream, was the idea of then Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown who contacted Simon Cowell to put it together. It became the fastest selling charity record of the 21st century in Britain. Somehow I can’t imagine Liz Truss or Rishi Sunak (whichever one ends up in No 10) initiating something similar. Raising money for suffering people that don’t even live in the UK? That wouldn’t go down well with the Tory membership at all. “Ooh bit of politics!” as Ben Elton would have said back in the day.

I don’t think you could make a case that any of the members of REM eclipsed their fame as rock stars after the band dissolved but Michael Stipe has branched out into film production acting as executive producer on movies such as Being John Malkovich and Velvet Goldmine.

SWV were in the charts in 1993 with a song that wasn’t “Right Here”? Really? The Michael Jackson sampling hit is my only memory of the trio from that year but here they are with a different hit called “I’m So Into You” which would make No 17 on our charts. After En Vogue and latterly Jade, here were the Sisters With Voices as the latest US R&B import seeking to replicate their success at home across the pond.

Listening back to this track hasn’t stirred my grey cells into action – zero recall of it – but then I was distracted by their decision to turn up for the show dressed as Shaky in double denim. Quite extraordinary. One of the trio, Tamara ‘Taj’ George, became a model after the band split and then found fame as a reality TV star on Survivor in 2009.

Anyone fancy some panpipe techno? Nah, me neither but there is some on the show courtesy of Dance 2 Trance and their hit “Power Of American Natives”. In later life, the backing dancer on the right found fame as bad boy Darren Osbourne in Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks. OK, I’m made that shit up but he does look a bit like him doesn’t he?

I’ve talked long and hard before about the three ‘S’s of shite that blighted the charts in 1993 – Shabba, Shaggy and Snow. There was though another artist that I could have shoehorned in to make this unholy trio a frightful foursome of crud if I’d allowed songs instead of artists beginning with ‘s’ to be included. The song I speak of is “Sweat” or rather “Sweat (A La La La La Long)”. This heinous piece of cod reggae by Inner Circle could rot your brain when exposed to it for just a few minutes with its infuriatingly catchy drone-a-long chorus. The good people of the UK had resisted its dark arts when originally released six months earlier but a rerelease due to it being No 1 all over Europe proved overwhelming and it duly went to No 6 in our charts.

The band themselves had been around in various incarnations since 1968 (!) but had only grazed the UK Top 40 once in 1979 with something called “Everything Is Great”. Talk about a misnomer. They came up with a song with a much more apt name in “Bad Boys” (where bad means crap and not good as per Michael Jackson) which became a big hit when it was used as the theme song to US TV series Cops and later to soundtrack the Will Smith / Martin Lawrence Bad Boys film franchise.

It’s three Breakers this week starting with Big Country. No if we thought D:Ream were into recycling with their multiple rereleases of tracks as singles, then what do we make of the bagpipe guitar rockers? Where D:Ream simply got the in demand remix team of Paul Oakenfold and Steve Osborne aka Perfecto to come up with a new version of “U R The Best Thing”, Big Country did the spade work themselves and totally re-recorded a song that had already been on a previous album.

“Ships (Where Were You)” was originally a track on poorly received and underselling 1991 album “No Place Like Home” but Stuart Adamson and co weren’t happy with the piano led, string quartet enhanced version that they had laid down and so went back into the studio to add those guitars. Now sounding more like a recognisable Big Country track, it became the band’s second consecutive Top 40 hit when released as the second single from “Buffalo Skinners”, the first time they had achieved that feat since 1986.

The video is a pretty pedestrian affair with the fans looking like they’ve caught the MTV Unplugged bug with all of them sat down for the entire performance. Surely that would have worked better with the string quartet 1991 version?

Next a band at a careers crossroads. It seems strange to recall now but in 1993 Blur we’re not in a good place. The glory of their 1991 breakthrough single “There’s No Other Way” had long since dimmed to be replaced by a press backlash. The band themselves were miserable after an unhappy experience touring the US to apathetic audiences. The possibility of being dropped by record label Food was real. A decision was taken to take a new direction that channeled the spirit of English 60s bands like the Small Faces and The Kinks as a reaction to the grunge era that they’d witnessed on their American tour. The result was the album “Modern Life Is Rubbish”, a collection of songs that didn’t generate massive sales but which have retrospectively been bestowed with love and respect and a sense of importance in configuring the rise of Britpop.

“For Tomorrow” was the lead track and was written with the intention of being a hit single as it was felt by Food that the album didn’t have any. Written about Primrose Hill the top of which affords a view of the whole of central London, it peaked at No 28, the band’s third lowest charting single until 2012. However, it is a fan favourite being voted the fifth best Blur song ever in a fanbase vote.

Whilst the album underperformed commercially, it was an essential and necessary step on the way to their most celebrated album “Parklife”. Oh and Inner Circle? That’s how you write a song with a ‘La La La La’ chorus!

Now here’s an artist I never really got…at all. However, she was very much seen as the darling of the indie world around this time and her career has been littered with accolades. Her trophy cabinet (presuming she has one) houses three Rolling Stone Magazine awards, two Mercury Music Prizes – she remains the only artist to have won it twice – an NME Outstanding Contribution to Music award and an MBE for services to music. Who am I taking about? PJ Harvey of course.

Back in 1993, she’d already made a name for herself with her debut album “Dry” which had made No 11 in the charts and would end up selling 60,000 copies. It was also extremely well received in the ‘serious’ music press. Maybe that’s what put me off her. I never really felt a part of that scene. While I was coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t really for me, PJ (Polly Jean) was already onto her next album. Sophomore release “Rid Of Me” came out the week after this TOTP aired and was trailed by the single “50ft Queenie”. This sounded like a racket to me back then and the intervening thirty years have done nothing to change my mind. I wasn’t the only person who wasn’t a fan. My mate Robin who worked at the BBC had got himself into the audience for a Laterwith Jools Holland when one of the guests was PJ Harvey. So unimpressed was he by what he saw that as the camera panned round the studio audience during her performance, he gave his verdict with a double middle finger gesture (or ‘the rods’ as Robin described it). I’ve looked through a number of Later…shows featuring ol’ PJ but have not been able to spot Robin’s rods. He has a particularly bad track record of being at BBC music shows. He once found himself stranded at a recording of TOTP – he’d thought that Morrissey was on but it turned out to be Kenny Thomas instead.

“50ft Queenie” peaked at No 27.

A genuine rock god next. Robert Plant needs no introduction from me mainly because I’m not qualified as I never really got the boat to Led Zeppelin island but just to give this some factual context, this was Robert’s third solo Top 40 single over a ten year period. His first had come in 1983 with the paean to toilet humour “Big Log” whilst his second was 1988’s “Heaven Knows” which I don’t remember at all. “29 Palms” though I do recall as the album it was taken from – “Fate Of Nations” – we had a CD promo copy of at the Our Price store where I was working at the time. I wouldn’t normally have been interested in a Robert Plant album but I took this one as me and my wife had just purchased our very first stereo that had a CD drive! Yes, just a mere eight years (!) after Dire Straits’ “Brothers In Arms” was single-handedly driving the adoption of the CD as the format of choice for music buyers, we finally joined the digital recording revolution. The problem was we didn’t have any actual CDs to play on our newly acquired stereo. All our music was either on vinyl and then latterly cassette. Given this, I figured I’d claim the Plant promo CD to test out the CD player. To be fair, I don’t think anybody else I worked with was likely to want it.

And so it came to pass that one of the first CDs I ever had was a Robert Plant solo album. I had it for years and maybe played one track on it once (the single obviously) and in the end I gave it away to a friend who liked, yep, that one song. So about “29 Palms” – did I like it? I wouldn’t have changed station if it came on the radio but I certainly wouldn’t have bought it either (remember, the CD I had was a free promo – no monetary transaction was necessary). I think I preferred “Big Log” though from my school days. There’s a bit in it that’s been bugging me because it reminded me of another song but I couldn’t place it but I’ve got it now – it’s “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. That’s probably heresy to Led Zep fans but that’s what I’m hearing. It’s rumoured to be about Canadian singer Alannah Myles of “Black Velvet” fame whom Plant toured with. Alternatively, it’s about the town of Twentynine Palms in the Mojave desert or more specifically its radio station. Either way, at least Robert ensured there was no room for any “Big Log” style faeces innuendo with this one…unless you can think of any.

“29 Palms” peaked at No 21.

The 1993 Eurovision Song Contest is only two weeks away so it’s about time we got another glimpse of our entry for this year who is of course Sonia. The UK was in a run of runner up finishes with three of the previous five contests seeing us finish in second place. Sonia would make it four out of six with “Better The Devil You Know” but we would come nowhere near winning again until 1997 when Katrina And The Waves brought the crown back to the UK despite Katrina herself being American.

Back in 1993 though, Sonia found herself unlucky enough to be competing in an era where the contest was dominated by Ireland who were in the middle of a trio of wins between 1992 and 1994. A bit like Andy Murray playing elite tennis when Nadal and Federer were in their pomp. Well, sort of if you can get on board with the idea of music being competitive. Then again, what was the Top 40 singles chart if not a competition?

Not only did Sonia miss out on Eurovision glory but “Better The Devil You Know” was also her final ever Top 40 hit. She had eleven in all but I’m betting most of us would struggle if she was the ‘Three In Ten’ artist on Ken Bruce’s Popmaster. After the hits stopped, Sonia starred as Sandy in the West End revival of Grease and also as Lily Savage’s wayward daughter Bunty in The Lily Savage Show. I don’t think any of those projects outdid her fame as Sonia the pop star though. Certainly appearing in Channel 5’s Celebrity 5 Go Caravanning was unlikely to be people’s abiding memory of her.

P.S. Did Sonia and SWV plan their Shaky style outfits beforehand?

There’s a new No 1 as The Bluebells are no more and are replaced by George Michael and Queen with the “Five Live” EP. A charity record in support of The Mercury Phoenix Trust that fights HIV/AIDS around the world, the five tracks were:

  1. “Somebody To Love” – George Michael and Queen
  2. “Killer” – George Michael
  3. “These Are The Days Of Our Lives” – Queen, George Michael and Lisa Stansfield
  4. “Calling You” – George Michael
  5. “Dear Friends” – Queen

Tracks 1 and 3 were recordings of the live performances from the 1992 Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert with the first being the one that received all the airplay. The EP went straight in at No 1 making it the eighth charity record to do so at the time since Band Aid in 1984. It was also George Michael’s third No 1 single as a duet after “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” with Aretha Franklin in 1987 and “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” with Elton John in 1991. It would become the 11th best selling single of 1993. It also was top of the charts for three weeks so I’ll leave it there for now. Oh, one more thing. We’re all agreed that George’s fame post Wham! outstripped his pre Wham! fame yeah?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1D:ReamU R The Best ThingNo
2REMEverybody HurtsNo but I had the Automatic For The People album
3SWVI’m So Into YouNah
4Dance 2 TrancePower Of American NativesAs if
5Inner CircleSweat (A La La La La Long)God no!
6Big CountryShips (Where Were You)I did not
7BlurFor TomorrowNo but I had the Modern Life Is Rubbish album
8PJ Harvey50ft QueenieNever happening
9Robert Plant29 PalmsNo but I had that promo copy of the album
10SoniaBetter The Devil You KnowNope
11George Michael and QueenFive Live EPDon’t think I did

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0019tp0/top-of-the-pops-29041993

TOTP 12 DEC 1991

Christmas is coming! Unlike in 2021 where the certainty of what our festive period will be like is now under threat again from the pandemic (or more accurately the government’s handling of it), 30 years ago, some of the most pressing issues we were facing included whether we had enough wrapping paper and remembering to buy a Radio Times to plan our TV watching (very important in the pre-digital age). If, like me, you were working in retail at this time, another consideration was when we could fit in any Christmas shopping of our own after facilitating everybody else’s by working behind a shop counter for hours on end. Oh, and what the Christmas No 1 would be… and please let it not be Cliff Richard again this year. Well, as it turned out, Cliff didn’t really get a look in but which records were in the charts back then? Let’s find out…

We start tonight’s TOTP with one of the year’s biggest breakout stars in Cathy Dennis who is in the studio to perform her fourth Top 40 hit of 1991 and her fifth overall. “Everybody Move” was the final single to be released from her gold selling No 3 album “Move To This” and was a return to the radio friendly dance material of her earlier hits after previous single “Too Many Walls” had seen her go down the slow ballad route.

In all honesty, “Everybody Move” should probably have remained an unreleased album track. It’s pretty lightweight stuff and certainly it doesn’t require a great leap of imagination from this to the kind of stuff that Cathy would end up writing for the likes of S Club 7 and Hear’say later in the decade. Accordingly, it only made it to No 25 in the UK Top 40.

Whilst the reaction on Twitter to this performance focussed on Cathy’s Joker-esque outfit, I was more drawn to her dance move which comes over like a half-hearted Mick Channon windmill celebration…

Now I know I quite often draw on football references for this blog and that I’ve just done it again immediately above but quite why presenter Tony Dortie decides to do the same in his intro to the Top 10 countdown remains a mystery. “It’s day 12 on the Advent calendar, Hearts and Leeds are currently topping things in the football world but let’s see which musical crackers are doing the business in the Top 10” he trills. Hmm. For completions sake, I should note that Leeds Utd would indeed go onto win the old Division 1 league title come May the following year however the 1991–92 Scottish Premier Division season was won by Rangers, nine points ahead of Hearts. Dortie messes up the countdown straight away when he announces that Nirvana are at No 10 with “Smells Like Teen”. What happened to your ‘spirit’ Tony?! Unlike Boris Johnson, at least Tony owns his mistakes…

There’s some more curious missing word action next as we get what would probably have been described as a ‘banging’ tune’ back then called “Running Out Of Time” by Digital according to co-host Claudia Simon. That wasn’t their full name though Claudia, was it? No, that was Digital Orgasm – ooh and indeed err missus! This wasn’t anything to do with presenter error by the way as the on screen artist and title graphics confirm that Claudia hadn’t just messed up her intro. This, it would seem, was a TOTP policy decision. Presumably, the use of the word orgasm would have been seen as far too offensive pre the 9 o’clock watershed and so was dropped.

As with all of these dance tunes from this era, I have zero recall of it despite working in a record shop while it was in the charts. Listening back to it now, it sounds like it’s been concocted in a rave laboratory with the basic tune of “Insanity” by Oceanic spliced together with snippets of “Charly” by The Prodigy. Both were huge hits so I guess if that really was the formula behind “Running Out Of Time” then it was a sound one.

As for the performance, it looks as if the TOTP producers have given a bit more thought to how to portray this seemingly endless conveyor belt of dance acts. There appear to be loads more camera cuts and in quick rotation meaning we get lots of different angles of the performers which I’m guessing was meant to try and replicate a more clubby experience. There’s also some slightly different distorted visual effect for the non vocal bits – they’ve lost the Doctor Who green which never worked for me anyway. The woman doing the singing looks almost otherworldly like one of Captain Kirk’s alien love interests which kind of helps things along as well.

“Running Out Of Time” peaked at No 16.

Oh no! It’s the dreaded Cliff Richard! Oh yes though as he’s not No 1! He’s nowhere near the top of the tree actually being at No 19 and there’s only two weeks until Christmas! Talking of trees, the show’s production team have pulled out all the stops for Cliff to make the stage look like his front room at Christmas. A fully decorated tree, a mock fireplace, cards and candles – were Health and Safety informed?! – and Cliff himself in an armchair dressed in a sparkly jacket. For some reason though, they haven’t bothered with the prop of a telephone for the faux phone call part at the beginning of the record leaving Cliff to mime speaking into an imaginary one and then putting it back in its cradle. It just looks weird. I was hoping that Cliff might go full Val Doonican and sing the whole song from that armchair but he’s up on his feet in no time to look sincerely into the camera at us and do some of those wavy arm moves of his.

Does anybody really remember “We Should Be Together”? It’s surely Cliff’s forgotten Christmas single after “Mistletoe And Whine…sorry..Wine” and “Saviour’s Day”? You never hear it played on the radio come December despite some of the commercial stations like Magic having cleared all of their playlist schedules to play exclusively Christmas tunes. Somehow it did get to No 10 in the UK Top 40 though it was never a serious contender for the top spot.

We get the video for “Too Blind To See It” by Kym Sims next. It’s introduced by Claudia Simon who says Kym is “kickin’ up a flavour” (that’s probably ‘flava’ isn’t it?) whilst all the time a youth from the studio audience gurns away behind her looking remarkably like a young Mark Ronson.

It turns out that “Too Blind To See It” is a dance record that I do remember (finally)! I think it’s that shuffling back beat and the ‘no man in the world’ sample that must have lodged in my brain. It’s a pretty nifty tune I think and yet it was written and produced by my arch nemesis Steve “Silk” Hurley /aka the man who killed music with his “Jack Your Body” No 1 in 1987. Hmm. Anyway, on reflection it has a ring of “Finally” by Ce Ce Pension to it which is probably no surprise as Kym was the co-writer on her hit “Keep On Walkin'”.

Wikipedia tells me that “Too Blind To See It” was released on the East West Records label who were responsible for a string of dance hits around this time including “Peace” by Sabrina Johnston and “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” by En Vogue. They all had that simple yet distinctive, generic East West cover as I recall or was that only used if they’d run out of the official picture sleeve? Can’t remember now.

“Too Blind To See It” was Kym’s biggest hit peaking at No 5 in the UK although she would have two further and smaller Top 40 hits by the end of 1992.

“Salt n’ Pepa are in the house and rockin’ the mic!” says Tony Dortie as we move back to the studio for their performance of “You Showed Me”. They’ve all come dressed in what looks like black latex jackets while their three dancers have dungarees in the same material making them look like a kinky version of Rod, Jane and Freddy.

The staging of the performance has a feel of West Side Story to it but the choreographer hasn’t really worked out what to do with DJ Spinderella who seems redundant when the rapping kicks in and is left to wander off with her allocated dance partner and act out an argument between them. At the song’s finale she retreats to the back of the stage, goes up the stairs erected there and assumes a rather risqué position by wrapping her legs around his crotch area. I take it back about Rod, Jane and Freddy – they’d have never got up to such vulgar antics! Or would they?…..

Meanwhile over on the other stage we find Right Said Fred about to perform their next hit single “Don’t Talk Just Kiss”. Before we get to the Freds though, I noticed something that I don’t believe we’ve seen before in these TOTP repeats which was the studio audience actually running across the floor to be in place for the next performance. There’s literally about a dozen people behind Tony Dortie all in a rush, vying for a view of the next pop stars on the show. I always imagined that the studio audience was shepherded around the set, the flock to the floor manager’s sheep dog. However, they all seem like they have been let off the leash to roam (or run) wherever they wish. This year zero revamp has a lot to answer for!

Anyway, I must admit that I for one thought we had heard the last of Right Said Fred when “I’m Too Sexy” finally dipped out of the Top 40 and dismissed the whole thing as a one off novelty hit. How wrong I was. “Don’t Talk Just Kiss” was not only another smash for the trio but it was (SHOCK!) a decent tune to boot! How had this happened? Well, proving that they weren’t as daft as they looked, the Fairbrass brothers (and the other one) got soul diva Jocelyn Brown in to sing on the track. Jocelyn’s vocals had already been sampled for Snap!’s 1990 No 1 hit “The Power” whilst her own 1984 hit “Somebody Else’s Guy” would form the hook for George Michael’s 1992 Top 5 hit “Too Funky”. Here though, she was actually singing on the song rather than being sampled although she didn’t actually get any credits on the record. That seems a bit weird as she’s up there front and centre on stage alongside the band for this TOTP appearance so they obviously weren’t trying to play down her contribution.

“Don’t Talk Just Kiss” would prove to be another massive hit peaking at No 3 whilst their album “Up” (released in March of the following year) would top the charts and go double platinum. Over the pond though it was a different story and the band did indeed become the one hit wonder I had thought they were destined to be. “I’m Too Sexy” had been a US No 1 but “Don’t Talk Just Kiss” stalled at No 76. Supposedly radio stations were still playing that first hit when the follow up was released and there was little interest in any Right Said Fred material that wasn’t “I’m Too Sexy”. They would have no further hits Stateside.

The camera pans around to Claudia Simon up in the gantry for the next link and she advises us of four Breakers three of which are stone cold stinkers starting with Jason Donovan and the “Joseph Megamix”. After his surprise No 1 hit earlier in the year with “Any Dream Will Do” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, it was always on the cards that some abomination like this medley would end up being churned out to cash in. With the Christmas party season upon us, it probably seemed like a decent bet that it would be a hit but can anyone say that they’ve ever been to a party where this was put on the turntable and if so, did they not leave immediately?!

“Joseph Megamix” peaked at No 13.

Another megamix! Are you kidding me?! What’s this one then? “The Bare Necessities Megamix” by UK Mixmasters?! Sorry? What? Pardon? And crucially, why? This was a Jungle Book medley that actually only featured two songs – “I Wanna Be Like You” and the titular “Bare Necessities”. You won’t be surprised to know that this heap of shit had Simon Cowell’s fingerprints all over it as it was released on his BMG subsidiary label IQ Records. UK Mixmasters was actually some bloke called Nigel Wright who was also responsible for the equally odious act Mirage who scored some hits in the late 80s doing medleys of house records under the umbrella title of “Jack Mix”. He also did that Saturday Night Fever medley earlier in 1991. What a talented guy!

Talking of talented guys, that’s all round entertainer Gary Wilmot up there promoting this garbage. However, when the track was performed in the TOTP studio the following week, another Gary (Martin) took over the vocalist role. I had to look this guy up but apparently he went onto make his name as an acclaimed voice over actor. We won’t get to see the TOTP with Martin as it’s one of those episodes hosted by Adrian Rose who didn’t give this consent for the repeat to be aired so we’ll miss it. So….just for you… here’s that performance below you lucky people!

Finally some proper music…even if it is U2! Only kidding I liked the “Achtung Baby” era of the band and “Mysterious Ways” was the second single to be released off that album. As a follow up to their No 1 song “The Fly” it was a strong if bold choice. There’s plenty going on in “Mysterious Ways” and most of it was maybe not what we would have expected from the band at the time. This was no po-faced, earnest rock anthem like “With Or Without You” but a groovy, exuberant tune that starts as it means to go on with that wah wah peddle guitar effect from The Edge setting the tone. It sounded so much better to me than “The Fly” and should have been a bigger hit than its No 13 placing although it did make the Top 10 in America. U2 would take this path towards dance experimentation again in 1997 with the electronic influenced No 1 single “Discothèque” but for me, “Mysterious Ways” trumps it by some considerable distance.

What?! New Kids On The Block were still in our charts in December 1991? Hadn’t that particular craze blown out long before this point? Well. yes it kind of had. This single “If You Go Away” was a final hurrah of the initial phase of their career before they briefly regrouped in 1994 for a less than glorious return. They would finally return as an entity in 2008 and are still touring to this day (I think).

“If You Go Away” is a soporific ballad that you can imagine Michael Bolton having rejected as too banal. It was included as the only new track on their first Best Of album called “H.I.T.S.” that was released for the Christmas market. I was the chart cassette buyer at the Our Price store I was working at then and have to admit to a gross over estimate of demand for that album. We hardly sold any and my over optimistic ordering left us with quite a few copies to go into the New Year sale when they again failed to sell. Ah well, yuh learn.

The black and white video is meant to make us perceive them as serious artists as opposed to the unobtainable desire of teenage girls. That and the fact that they had changed their name to NKOTB was a giveaway that they were looking for a new audience. For me though, they would always be more T’KNOB than NKOTB (over ordering of their album aside).

“If You Go Away” peaked at a surprisngly high No 9 in the UK Top 40.

Oh God! I’m in “Martika’s Kitchen”! Yes, it’s time for one of the stupidest song titles of the year courtesy of…well, Martika. On reflection, is it stupid or misunderstood? I don’t think I twigged it at the time but the general consensus on the internet is that “Martika’s Kitchen” is actually filthy! How did I not pick up on this back then?! Firstly, it’s written by Prince which should have been enough evidence of its salacious nature to close the case right there and then. Exhibit B (m’lud) comes in the form of the lyrics, for example:

The table is set, the oven is hot
Baby, when we get started, we won’t ever ever stop

and:

I don’t care I’ve got the chair, if you think your butt’ll fit it
You turn me all the way up, I admit it

In my defence, I think the fact that Martika has chosen to wear some very non-revealing clothes in this performance maybe misled me. As for the sound of the song, at the time it seemed very pop-orientated compared to previous single “Love… Thy Will Be Done” (also written by Prince) but which didn’t seem like it could possibly have been written by the same person. However, on reflection, “Martika’s Kitchen” has some definite Prince hallmarks attached to it although parts of it also remind me of Janet Jackson’s “Nasty”.

This was the second single from her album of the same name and although it sold reasonably in the UK, like T’KNOB before it, I’m pretty sure we had plenty of copies left over for the New Year sale. Perhaps I wasn’t that great at being chart cassette buyer!

George Michael and Elton John are still No 1 with “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”. With two weeks to go, they must have been in the running for the festive chart topper but once “Bohemian Rhapsody” was re-released on the back of Freddie Mercury’s death, all bets were off. George would, of course, score a further No 1 with another cover version two years later, this time of Queen’s own “Somebody To Love” as part of the “Five Live EP” recorded at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert the year before. Elton meanwhile would return in 1992 with his “The One” album the title track of which really was a bit of a dirge.

As we’ve skipped the 19 December show, the next post will be the end of year review.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Cathy DennisEverybody MoveNah
2Digital OrgasmRunning Out Of TimeNo chance
3Cliff RichardWe Should Be TogetherNever happening
4Kym SimsToo Blind To See ItNope
5Salt n’ PepaYou Showed MeNo
6Right Said FredDon’t Talk Just KissNegative
7Jason DonovanJoseph MegamixAs if
8UK MixmastersThe Bare Necessities MegamixDitto
9U2Mysterious WaysNo but I bought the album
10NKOTBIf You Go AwayI wish they would – No
11MartikaMartika’s KitchenI did not
12George Michael and Elton JohnDon’t Let the Sun Go Down on MeAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0011myd/top-of-the-pops-12121991

TOTP 05 DEC 1991

What? It’s December ’91 already here at TOTP Rewind? Wasn’t the last post on the blog from mid November? Well yes but we’ve missed the final show win November due to that confusing scenario of one of the presenters not giving permission for the repeats to be aired. We skipped numerous episodes back in the 80s due to the late Mike Smith not giving permission before his death in 2014 and the issue has raised its head again in the early 90s shows. So who is it that hasn’t given his blessings for these repeats to be aired? His name is Adrian Rose or rather was Adrian Rose. He’s not dead but he goes by a different name now. Or should that be names as I’ve found him referred to on the internet as Adrian Woolfe and Adrian Rose Woolfe. It turns out that he went on to have a successful career in TV production (he was involved in bringing Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? to our screens) though that doesn’t explain his reluctance to give permission for his TOTP shows to be repeated. There’s a whole load of theories circulating on the internet about what his reasoning might be with some tweets on the subject having been deleted so I’m not about to launch into an investigation as to what happened here for fear of any litigious action. However, Adrian’s fellow presenters Tony Dortie and Mark Franklin, both of whom seem very willing to tweet along with these TOTP repeats and answer questions about them, did add to the debate on Twitter :

err….

Hmm. If you really want to dig deeper into this issue, there’s lots more out there online not least from Tony and Mark but my take on it is that when the presenters were being supplied from the Radio 1 DJ roster then their existing contracts with the BBC covered any stints on TOTP but the presenters in the new format must have had separate and different contracts with clauses that required permission for future repeats to be shown but hey, I’m no lawyer…

Anyway, the bad news is that we will miss out on 15 TOTP shows that feature Adrian Rose between now and Sep ’92 but it’s OK as I’ve checked the running order for the shows affected and all the acts on them were crap anyway. I’m kidding! Having said that, there is an awful lot of shite we won’t be subjected to (I’m looking at you 2 Unlimited) but there are some good tunes in there as well. One of the very first casualties of the Rose pruning effect is the now iconic Nirvana performance from the 28 Nov ’91 show but I’m not going there in this post as I’ll try and round up the most notable missed performances in the review the year.

Enough though of those that we missed, how about the ones that we are getting to see all over again 30 years on? Well, after last week’s rave-tastic running order, we’re right back in amongst it again with opening act Shades Of Rhythm and their hit “Extacy”. Now as I’ve said many times before, I was no clubber or indeed raver but this looks and sounds to me like all kinds of wrong. What were they all wearing?! Have they come in their pyjamas?! Nobody could sleep in those surely?! I thought they’d topped the look off with a Santa hat (it being December and all) but on closer inspection they’re like those fur lined Russian hats with the flaps but colour coded to match the rest of the outfit with the flaps done up. If the ‘performers” on stage looked bad enough, what was going on with the backing dancers? Seriously, they look like an off his tits Andy Pandy! Please tell me people weren’t going to actual clubs dressed like that at the time. As for the track itself, it seems like a pretty unexceptional rave by numbers effort to me with the TOTP live vocal policy yet again not helping much. And that title! Surely the show’s producers must have realised what the theme here was?!

Interestingly, Shades Of Rhythm were on ZTT Records. Like many I’m sure, the acts that leap to the front of my mind when I hear that record label mentioned are Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Propaganda and Art of Noise but ZTT didn’t get stuck in the 80s as they had already had huge hits this decade with the likes of Adamski, Seal and 808 State.

“Extacy” peaked at No 16.

Before we get to the next act, just a quick note on how the charts were being handled in this period of TOTP history. Basically, they’ve f****d it! If new producer Stanley Appel was given the task by BBC bosses of coming up with the worst possible way to do a chart rundown, then he couldn’t have imagined anything better than this. For a start, there is no Top 40 countdown anymore just a Top 10. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they throw it away within the first 5 minutes of the show including revealing the No 1 record. We get to see tiny clips of the Top 10 records on screen (be they the official promo video or a TOTP appearance) but we don’t hear any of them as the new theme tune plays over the top of it. It’s insane! Appel seemed to be trying to move away from the show being based on the Top 40 singles as it had been for the whole of its existence this far by meddling with the countdown and having these new features like ‘exclusive’ performances and incorporating the album chart as well. New doesn’t always mean better and this certainly wasn’t.

Anyway, ho hum. On with the show and it’s those old reliables Andy and Vince of Erasure with their new single “Am I Right?”. These two had been TOTP staples since the mid 80s and were still a safe pair of hands into the new decade. That being said, this wasn’t one of their better tunes. The third single from their “Chorus” album, they’d gone for a slowie to follow up on the title track and “Love To Hate You” which had both had much faster bpm. Was it a definite decision at attempting to be a Christmas single? Certainly the staging of this performance would suggest so. Up there on stage with the duo are some Christmas trees, a sleigh and reindeer (of the plastic variety) and a rather forlorn looking snowman. It reminds me of the Santa’s grotto I worked in as Father Christmas in Debenhams back in 1989. I was only 21 but I filled in for the regular guys when they were having their lunch breaks. I must admit to looking at the collection of elves and penguins etc on the floor beside me and thinking to myself “where is your life heading mate?”.

Back with Erasure though and all of that paraphernalia is nothing compared to the fake snow coming down for the studio ceiling in the most unconvincing of ways. Snow has surely never been so inconsistent in its precipitation anywhere in the world as it is in this TOTP studio. I hope Andy and Vince didn’t watch the playback as they were totally undermined by this nonsense.

“Am I Right?” peaked at No 15.

Oh great, it’s Simply Red (sigh)! Hucknall and co (whoever the hell those people were) were never bigger than they were at this point. “Stars” was the title track from their fourth album and it felt like every other purchase made by a customer over Christmas ’91 in the Our Price store where I was working in Manchester was that album. We sold it over and over and over again. Then we went home, came back the next day and sold it some more. It was a monster. I guess it was the default present for all those blokes who didn’t know what to get their partner (see also, Celine Dion, Dido etc). The title track would certainly have helped sell it being a sultry, smooth as velvet pop/soul standard perfectly suited to Mick’s confident vocals. It sounded like it had been written to be played on the hour, every hour on daytime radio – indeed it probably was. Having to perform a live vocal on the show in keeping with its new policy wouldn’t have worried the Huckster at all. However, he should have been worried about the outfit that he chose for the show. He appears to have come dressed as a Wild West cowboy with his waistcoat and sheriff’s badge.

Talking of Mick’s appearance reminds me that we had a guy working as a Christmas temp in the shop who looked a bit like him. He certainly had the long, curly ginger hair anyway. In fact, now I come to think of it, didn’t he tell us that he had roadied for Simply Red before coming to work in the store? I’m not sure he was telling the truth and anyway, he didn’t last the whole of the festive period due to an incident at our pre-Christmas do. I say ‘do’ but I think we all just went to Manto bar in Canal Street which was the newly opened super bar that was packing in them in down at the gay village at the time. I think the Hucknall lookalike got pissed and decided it would be a good idea to tell the store manager exactly what he thought of him via the medium of insults. When we tried to advise him that it wasn’t a good idea he said, “What? Just because he’s the manager? F**k him!” and proceeded with his plan. I’m pretty sure we never saw him again after that night.

“Stars” the song peaked at No 8 and was the highest charting single taken from the album.

After all that talk of presenters at the top of the post, I should say that tonight’s hosts are Mark Franklin and Elayne Smith who pops up on our screen to introduce the ‘exclusive’ section of the show. This was the second of only two appearances for Elayne who, in an interview with BBC Radio Three Counties presenter Edward Adoo back in 2018, described her TOTP experience as “daunting” and that she was “completely rubbish” on it. To be fair to Elayne, there have been far, far worse presenters of the show down the years than her.

Anyway, the exclusive on tonight’s show is a screening of the video for Guns N’ Roses version of “Live And Let Die”. The original was of course written by Paul and Linda McCartney and recorded by Wings for the 1973 James Bond film of the same name. Now I had always believed that the Wings version had been a huge hit so was surprised to discover that it only made No 9 in the UK. It did better in the US where it stayed and No 2 for three weeks and was kept off the top spot by three different songs including “Touch Me In The Morning” by Diana Ross (more of whom later).

Routinely chosen in polls as the best Bond theme ever, it did then beg the question as to why the world needed a Guns N’ Roses version? Well, it was just a song that Slash and Axl Rose both loved apparently so they recorded it for their “Use Your Illusion” project (it was actually on “Use Your Illusion I” for all the pedants out there). Not everyone was happy about this and the song seems to spilt opinion accordingly. In short, it’s musical Brexit. Look at these couple of tweets for example:

See? Where did I sit on the debate? I don’t mind the Guns N’ Roses version I have to say although they did seem to overdo it with the cover versions – “Use Your Illusion II” included a version of Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”. Both covers would be big hits in the UK with “Live And Let Die” making it to No 5 whilst “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” peaked at No 2. As with Elayne Smith’s final TOTP appearance, the live performance promo video was the last to feature rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin before he left the band.

I did promise earlier that there’d be more Diana Ross to come and here she is with her hit “When You Tell Me That You Love Me”. Such a huge megastar is Ms Ross that she doesn’t need any backing singers or band up there on stage with her – nobody is stealing any of her limelight thank you very much – but to be fair to her, the live vocal isn’t too bad.

The sales of this single seemed surprising to me. Diana hadn’t had many big hits in the UK throughout the previous 10 years (the notable exception being “Chain Reaction” going to No 1 in 1986 obviously). It’s a huge, syrup filled power ballad which I guess went down well over the festive period when we’re all filled with love for our fellow human beings (supposedly) but even so. It would end up selling 200,000 copies in this country and *SPOILER* only missed out on the Christmas No 1 spot by a couple of hundred units.

Someone who didn’t see those sales coming was our aforementioned store manager. I distinctly recall him having a word with myself as chart cassette buyer and the CD buyer advising us not to get influenced by the success of the single into ordering loads of copies of the parent album (“The Force Behind The Power”) as in all his years of record retail, he had never seen a Diana Ross album sell well. Unfortunately, he said all of this within earshot of our colleague Andy who was a huge Diana fan and took it personally that the manager was dissing one of his idols. I think he actually said something along the lines of “ignore him, he knows nothing, go big on the album”. So who was right? Well, I think it was Andy. The album did sell well over time going platinum with sales of 300,000 in the UK despite it never getting any higher than No 9 in the charts.

Four Breakers?! Oh come on! OK, well we start with Cliff Richard (of course we do, it is nearly Christmas after all) and a little ditty called “We Should Be Together”. After bagging two of the last three festive No 1 records for himself (and he even featured on the one he didn’t as he was in Band Aid II!), Cliff naturally wasn’t not going to chance his arm again and released this…well…this! Very much his forgotten Christmas single, it peaked at No 10. Not a bad return for most artists but this was Cliff we were talking about…at Christmas! This was not a good result!

The schmaltzy video and its plot of an offshore oil worker coming home to join his family for Christmas is almost unwatchable not least for the fact that the two teddy bears that he brings as presents for his two young daughters look really crap! Very badly made. He should have gone to Build-A-Bear! Boo!

After Guns N’ Roses earlier, we now get Salt ‘N Pepa and like the former, the rap trio are also having a hit with a cover version. “You Showed Me” was written by Gene Clark and Roger McGuinn of the Byrds in 1964 and has been covered by loads of different artists the first of whom to have a hit with it were The Turtles in 1968 who slowed its pace right down from its original incarnation and took into the US Top 10. The hit that Salt ‘N Pepa had with it in 1991 also took it in a different direction, making it a sassy yet also smooth whilst the rapped punctuations added their customary edge. Yet another variation on the original theme came in 1996 when The Lightning Seeds released this trip-hopped, blissed out version:

It’s also been covered by Lutricia McNeal and was sampled by De La Soul (the Turtles’ recording) for their song “Transmitting Live From Mars (Interlude)” on their 1989 album “3 Feet High And Rising” for which they were sued by the LA band. I have to admit that although I do know the song, it’s probably the version by The Turtles that comes to mind rather then any of the others mentioned here. I’m not sure I even realised that the Salt ‘N Pepa take on it was the same song!

The festive period in 1991 was fast turning out to be Queen dominated. No, not her majesty and her Christmas Day speech (had the trend to not bother tuning in to that already started 30 years ago?) but the band of course. By the time this TOTP was being broadcast, Freddie Mercury had been dead for just 11 days, the announcement of his death coming 24 hours after his public statement the he had tested HIV positive and had AIDS. Although rumours surrounding his health had been rife for months, the timing of his demise was still shocking.

Queen’s “Greatest Hits II” album had been released at the end of October and suddenly it was a required purchase following Freddie’s death. I’ve never quite got why a pop star’s death inevitably leads to a rush in demand for their back catalogue. Yes, I know sometimes cynical record labels re-release material just to cash in but they do so knowing that people probably will buy it. It always seems a bit morbid. I guess it was a slightly different case with “Greatest Hits II” as it must have been scheduled for a late Autumn release for the Christmas market for some time. Or, could EMI have been hedging their bets what with all those rumours about the perilous nature of Freddie’s health doing the rounds? All I know is that we had loads of the album in stock when it was initially released and it wasn’t shifting until Freddie’s demise and then it went batshit crazy reaching No. 1 on the UK albums chart and, as of 2014, was the tenth best-selling album in the UK with 3.9 million units shifted.

In amongst all of this Queen-mania, a solo venture by their guitarist Brian May was released called “Driven By You”.

May’s only previous solo single had been “Star Fleet”, the theme tune to some long forgotten Japanese puppet sci-fi show in 1983 which I don’t remember at all (probably because it didn’t make the Top 40). I’ve just found it on YouTube and it’s horrible. “Driven By You” sounded much more like May’s day job and indeed was included on Queen’s “Greatest Hits III” album. Wasn’t it first used on a car advert though?

*checks internet*

Yes! It was used for a Ford advertising campaign! Apparently May was asked to write a song to soundtrack it and when the advert was broadcast, it was so popular it convinced Brain to re-record the song with some changed words, an expanded running time and additional verses. The result was the version that was released as a single and that would become a No 6 hit.

It would make it onto May’s solo album of the following year called “Back To The Light” which would also feature his “Too Much Love Will Kill You” follow up single that made the Top 5. However, what I recall most about the album is that it had one of the worst covers ever. Whoever thought that the image opposite would be just the thing that they wanted to promote the album….

What’s the best cover version ever? Don’t bother answering as you’ll all have a different answer depending on your musical tastes which is subjective anyway. My friend Robin used that line in defence of what I saw as an outrageous statement that he once made down the pub which was that he didn’t like any Elton John songs. None. “What?! You can’t say that!” I replied but of course he could. Talking of Elton, here’s his song “Rocket Man” back in the charts but done by Kate Bush. How so? Well, it was a track from the tribute album “Two Rooms: Celebrating The Songs Of Elton John & Bernie Taupin”. The album featured artists like Phil Collins, Sting, The Beach Boys and Hall & Oates to name but a few who all covered songs from the John / Taupin canon but it was Kate Bush with her take on her favourite Elton hit that was released as the second single from the album. She actually retitled it as “Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long, Long Time)” for some reason, maybe to make a distinction between her version and the original? She needn’t have bothered as nobody would ever confuse the two. Kate’s take on it added a reggae lilt and totally reworked it. Well, if you’re going to cover a song, you might as well make it your own as the hateful Louis Walsh would no doubt have said if Kate had done this on the X Factor.

The black and white promo video sees Kate in a more playful mood than perhaps we were used to though her ukulele playing looks a bit suss. Meanwhile, the scene with the concertina player with his arm around her brought back memories of her duet with Peter Gabriel on “Don’t Give Up” to mind. Kate’s version would peak at No 12. Oh, and the best cover version of all time? That would be “Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long, Long Time)” according to readers of The Observer newspaper who voted it as such in 2007. So that settles that then.

The KLF were a bit out of the ordinary weren’t they? That’s quite the understatement I know. Maybe I could put it in football terms. They were like a musical José Mourinho when he famously said “I’m not one of the bottle. I’m a…I think I’m a special one” and just like José, I don’t think we’d seen anything like The KLF for a very long time.

After selling more singles than any other act in 1991 so far, they decided to do a collaboration with the ‘First Lady of Country Music’ Tammy Wynette on “Justified & Ancient (Stand by The JAMs)” ! WTF?! Bizarre? Out of left field? I’m not sure there are words to describe how weird this seemed in 1991. Surely the safe thing would have been to release another dance track in the mould of their ‘Stadium House’ trilogy of hits “What Time Is Love?”, “Last Train to Trancentral” and “3 a.m. Eternal” but then The KLF could never be described as being sensible. Apparently Tammy didn’t really know what she was singing about (she’d never head of a 99 ice cream) and originally thought the lyrics were ‘justified and anxious’ but somehow it all comes together magnificently.

The single with Tammy is radically different from the album version on “The White Room” which was a much less frenetic sound and featured the vocals of Errol “Black Steel” Nicholson which caused us record shop staff some problems when disgruntled shoppers, having bought the album on the strength of the single, returned them when they discovered that “that song about ice cream vans isn’t on it”.

And so to this TOTP performance. Would this have qualified as a water cooler moment had the phrase existed in 1991? I think maybe. So obviously Tammy wasn’t actually there in the studio with Jimi Cauty and Bill Drummond but was she really doing her bits live and in sync from “somewhere in concert in Great Britain” as Mark Franklin suggests in his intro? The staging of the performance has tribal drummers and some extras dressed in towering ice cream costumes with Tammy contributing to the visuals via a bank of TV screens in the background. It was officially bonkers. My eyes though are drawn to Jimmy Cauty (I think it’s Jimmy Cauty) who’s come dressed as Jeremy Healy from Haysi Fantayzee of “John Wayne Is Big Leggy” fame.

At the end of the performance, the ice cream van that was the visual image for the promotion of the single turns up at the back of the stage in which Elayne Smith pops up to do the link into the No 1 record. She does seem to waste the moment though, not making any reference to either the van or the performance that we have all just witnessed. Cauty and Drummond had a history of using vehicles to promote their singles – remember the American police car known as the JAMsMobile aka Ford Timelord that was the central image behind their “Doctorin’ the Tardis” No 1 from 1987 under their guise of The Timelords?

“Justified & Ancient (Stand by The JAMs)” was widely talked up as a potential Christmas No 1 but the death of Freddie Mercury put paid to that although it did go to No 2 in early 1992 which was the year when The KLF retired from the music industry by basically blowing up the whole project.

Now did I say that 1991 was remembered for being a Queen Christmas earlier? I may have jumped the gun as Elton John was certainly no shrinking violet (has he ever been?) when it came to records in the charts at this festive time. After Kate Bush’s version of his “Rocket Man” song earlier we now get the man himself with another of his older songs. I have to admit I’d kind of lost track of the timeline for Elton and George Michael‘s version of “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” being a No 1 hit. In my head I thought it was a chart topper much later than this but I realise I’ve melded together this record and the “Five Live” EP which was also a No 1 but in April 1993 and featured George Michael performing, amongst other tracks, “Somebody to Love” at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert held at Wembley Stadium in April 1992. In addition, Freddie scored a posthumous solo No 1 in the August of 1993 with a remix of his ‘Living On My Own” single. There was clearly a George/Queen/Elton frenzy going on between Christmas 1991 and the Summer of 1993 – no wonder my poor memory couldn’t cope.

So why was this George / Elton live version of “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” back in the charts? After all, hadn’t we already had a cover of the song in the charts recently courtesy of Oleta Adams from the aforementioned Elton John / Bernie Taupin album? Yes, yes we had – it peaked at No 33 back in October. Well, given that Elton donated the proceeds of his single 1990 “Sacrifice” to various AIDS related charities and that his friend Freddie Mercury had just died of an AIDS related illness and that he founded the Elton John AIDS Foundation in 1992, it’s no surprise that “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” was to raise money for 10 different charities for children, AIDS and education. George, of course, was no stranger to charity having been front and centre of the Band Aid single and having performed at Live Aid where he actually sang “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me”. After his death, we learned that he had contributed loads of money incognito to many varied causes.

This live version of the song had been recorded on the final show of his Cover To Cover tour at Wembley Arena on 23 March 1991. The bit where George introduces Elton and the audience’s reaction to the surprise event is probably my favourite part. The single went straight in at No 1 (the fifth to do so in 1991 according to Mark Franklin) and would stay there for two weeks before giving way to the re-release of his old pal Freddie’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Shades Of RhythmExtacyNah
2ErasureAm I Right?No but it’s probably on my Greatest Hits CD of theirs
3Simply RedStarsOoh no
4Guns N’ RosesLive And Let DieSee 2 above
5Diana RossWhen You Tell Me That You Love MeNope
6Cliff RichardWe Should Be TogetherNo we shouldn’t Cliff!
7Salt ‘N PepaYou Showed MeNo
8Brian MayDriven By You…but not bought by me
9Kate Bush“Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long, Long Time)”Negative
10The KLFJustified & Ancient (Stand by The JAMs)Thought I might have but singles box says no
11George Michael and Elton JohnDon’t Let The Sun Go Down On MeIt’s a no from me

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0011myb/top-of-the-pops-05121991