TOTP 21 MAR 1991

Talent. It’s just a six letter word but it can mean so many things. What does it conjure up in your mind’s eye? There’s the obvious meaning of an individual imbued with a natural aptitude or skill (e.g. Gazza was a footballer of great talent). Or, if you’re a fan of the wonderful Monty Python film Life Of Brian, you may think of it as a unit of currency used by the ancient Romans and Greeks. Back in the 80s, if you were a young, amorous male, you might have used the expression ‘sharking for talent’ meaning that you were looking for potential sexual partners. Do the current generation still use that expression? For tonight’s TOTP host Anthea Turner, it means musical artistry. How do we know this? Because she introduces the show by saying “Tonight, the emphasis is on talent” which strikes me as a peculiar thing to say as it implies that, on other shows, there is no particular emphasis on talent or rather that the emphasis of the BBC’s prime time music show could well be on something other than talent. Like what Anthea? Crapness? Judging by some of the acts we’ve seen that could well have been the case.

Well, let’s see if the acts on tonight all pass the talent test. I’m the judge by the way so it will all be fair and above board. Ahem. We start with a returning Boy George who has not been the Top 40 side of the chart boundary for nigh on four years. I say Boy George but it’s actually his band Jesus Loves You. An interesting, intermediary project between his successful but very brief solo star period in the late 80s (“Everything I Own” and all that) and his rebirth as a high profile club DJ, this collective had already released three singles before they finally got themselves a hit. I had never heard of them though before “Bow Down Mister”. This gloriously uplifting pop song was inspired by the experiences George had encountered whilst travelling through India and embracing the Hindu religion and specifically the Hare Krishna movement. When I was a kid growing up in Worcester, I would regularly see a small, chanting procession of Hare Krishna devotees slinking down the high street on a Saturday afternoon. People would point and laugh at the ‘Harrys’ as they were known and in my own youthful ignorance (I was probably only about 10 or so) I probably dismissed them in a similar fashion. Fast forward a decade or so and their movement is enshrined in popular music history courtesy of Boy George.

Supposedly George was interested in becoming a practicing Hare Krishna but it never quite happened. The most recent issue of Classic Pop magazine includes an interview with George to celebrate his recent 60th birthday and in it he states that:

When I released “Bow Down Mister” in the 90s, I thought, ‘Aha, I’ve got the elixir of truth!’ Then a thunder crash came out of nowhere and put paid to that idea”.

So what was that thunder crash? Could it be this explanation from X Ray Spex singer Poly Styrene via @TOTPFacts:

The Hare Krishna movement weren’t the only ones who had an issue with George as his US record label refused to release any material under the name Jesus Loves You. Presumably they were wary of a backlash from the Christian lobby and so instead they credited all their songs simply to Boy George. They also declined to release “Bow Down Mister” as a US single. Their loss. The UK release was on George’s own record label More Protein which he had founded to enable the release of “Everything Starts With an E” by E-Zee Possee (actually George, his old pal and one time Haysi Fantayzee member Jeremy Healy and rapper MC Kinky) when Virgin had refused to release it.

As for the tune itself, for me it was a brilliantly quirky and out there pop song and I loved the instrumentation in the middle eight bit complete with Asha Bhosle* vocals that elevated it into the Krishna chanting / gospel choir mash up coda. Inevitably there were comparisons with “My Sweet Lord” by that other musical George Mr Harrison but my reference point was probably “Ever So Lonely” by Monsoon from 1982.

The performance here is utterly joyful including the exuberant jumping up and down form George’s ‘devotees’ in the background one of whom looks a bit like Norman Pace of Hale & Pace. But if we’re talking doppelgängers, is that The Mission’s Wayne Hussey up there with George on guitar? I really hope so.

“Bow Down Mister” was a big favourite of an Our Price colleague at then time so I heard this a lot. It would peak at No 27 and a re-release fo “Generations of Love” as a follow up would give Jesus Loves You their second and final Top 40 hit when it peaked at No 35.

*Yes that Aha Bhosle who was name checked by Cornershop in the equally unlikely pop hit “Brimful Of Asha”.

From the kooky to the defiantly mainstream where we find Simple Minds treading very familiar ground with their “Let There Be Love” single. Since their double platinum No 1 album “Street Fighting Years” in 1989, they had spent the early stages of the new decade retreading their back catalogue with four volumes of a rolling Greatest Hits project entitled “Themes” covering the various eras of their career to that point.

By 1991 they had caught up with themselves so an album of new material was required which arrived in the form of ninth studio album “Real Life”. Lead single “Let There Be Love” did the job expected of it by becoming a Top 10 hit around Europe (No 6 in the UK and No 1 in Italy) whilst the album itself would be a No 2 chart smash. All well and good except that the new songs seemed so very safe and calculating to me. Yes, they were melodic but there wasn’t any new ground being broken. The band retained the Celtic feel of their unexpected No 1 single “Belfast Child” with the penny whistle melody line but if I had been a massive disciple of the band, I would have been disappointed I think. Even the video seems half hearted being basically the band doing a performance promo of the song with loads of dry ice billowing around them for effect. Talk about blowing smoke up your arse.

This single was the first without keyboardist and original band member Mick MacNeil who had left the group after the completion of their previous world tour in 1990. Was this a pivotal moment in the band’s career? Although drummer Mel Gaynor was still there, his 10 year tenure with the band would come to an end the following year leaving the group to basically become a duo comprising Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill. Still, for the moment, Simple Minds could still substantiate a claim to be a big name in the rock fraternity.

By the way, if you want a less bombastic take on the song, try Icehouse’s 1995 version from their covers album “The Berlin Tapes”…

From the well established in Simple Minds to a brand band next. Banderas evolved out of the break up of The Communards – Sally Herbert and Caroline Buckley had both played with Jimmy Somerville’s hitmakers – and “This Is Your Life” (nothing to do with The Blow Monkeys track of the same title) was their debut single. Pretty good it was too. And so it should have been given that it featured Johnny Marr and Bernard Sumner on it as well as the aforementioned Somerville on backing vocals.

Around this time, a woman called Trina transferred across to the Our Price store I was working in and she loved Banderas. Consequently I got to hear quite a bit of their only album “Ripe” which was also sounded pretty good. Sadly for them, they were unable to repeat the success of “This Is Your Life” (follow up single “She Sells” peaked at that most unfortunate and unwanted chart position of No 41) and they were gone by the end of the year.

In my head I always equate them with Trina and chart contemporaries Soho, probably as they were both fronted by women with striking images, both only had one hit and both deserved a better fate.

P.S. A little shout out for whoever came up with the Eamon Andrews style red book graphic that introduced “This Is Your Life” which peaked at No 16. Genius!

Stop the clock! Ah, too late! It’s Quartz featuring Dina Carroll yet again and for the third time now on the show I think with …erm…“It’s Too Late”. It’s not even a new performance but just a re-showing of a previous appearance. What am I supposed to say about this that I haven’t already?!

Well I’m not going to say anything. Instead I offer you a different take on the Carole King classic courtesy of the rather lovely China Crisis who recorded it for a project called “80’s Re:Covered – Your Songs With The 80’s Sound”. Excellent! The album also features the likes of ABC taking on Radiohead and Wang Chung covering Blur. What’s not to like?

Incidentally, China Crisis have also recorded a song called “It’s Never Too Late” which was an extra track on the 12″ of their 1985 hit “Black Man Ray”. Make your minds up fellas!

Now, talking of cover versions…here’s Pet Shop Boys with two for the price of one! There’s an awful lot to unpack about “Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)”. Firstly, why? Why did Neil and Chris do a mash up of a 1987 U2 song with that cheesy Boystown Gang disco hit. Yes, I know “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” was originally a hit by Frankie Valli but there’s no doubt that it was the 1982 cover that inspired the duo on this. Supposedly it was a swipe at the overly inflated egos of rock stars such as Bono and Sting. Here’s Tennant on this very subject via @TOTPFacts:

Just in case Bono didn’t get the joke, they made “Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)” a double A-side with a track from their “Behaviour” album called “How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?”. Eventually, U2 issued a statement saying “What have we done to deserve this?” which was a pretty clever and semi-diplomatic response I think.

That double A-side re-promoted the “Behaviour” album but also caused headaches for record shop staff (like me) when customers came in wanting to buy the album with that disco U2 song on it when it wasn’t on the actual album. “No, it’s the other A-side that’s on the album not Where the Streets Have No Name” would be the explanation from behind the counter. “What other A-side?” would come the reply as let’s be fair, radio weren’t playing “How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?”. I don’t think the album was re-issued with it on at the time. Presumably it has subsequently been added as an extra track in a super deluxe reissue years later.

Neil and Chris were on slightly dodgy ground with all this rock star ego poking / cover version business. Back in 1987, as “It’s A Sin” became their first No 1, DJ Jonathan King accused them of pinching the melody from “Wild World” by Cat Stevens for their chart topper in his Sun newspaper column. He even released his own cover version of “Wild World” as a single constructed to sound very similar to “It’s a Sin” to prove his point. The duo sued King winning out-of-court damages which they donated to charity. OK, so I guess in a ‘who’s the dodgiest?’ contest between Pet Shop Boys and Jonathan King there’s only one winner and in fact charity was the real winner in this spat but even so, I think Bono’s response was a bit classier.

The double A-side “Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)” / “How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously?” peaked at No 4 and must also be one of the longest ever song titles to trouble the chart compilers albeit that it was double -barrelled.

Some Breakers next and we start with “Wear Your Love Like Heaven” by Definition Of Sound. Now, I had no idea about the original of this single’s song title until just now but apparently it was half inched from a track by 60s hippy folk rocker Donovan. It’s actually rather nice…

Anyway, Definition Of Sound’s single was nothing like that not being a cover version and all. No, their’s was a kick ass dance tune which put me in mind of “Groove Is In The Heart” by Deee-Lite a bit. But who were these guys anyway? Well, they were rappers Kevin Clark and Don Weekes from London (I’d always assumed they were American) who used a track called “Let It Out (Let It All Hang Out)” by The Hombres who were an American 60s garage rock band to construct their biggest hit. Not only did they steal the riff but also the spoken word intro that goes:

I preach my dear friend
You’re about to receive Long John Barleycorn
Nicotine and the temptation of Eve….

The first time I heard that intro I had to do a double take to check that I hadn’t heard the ‘n’ word in there. Fortunately it was the word ‘nicotine’. By bizarre coincidence, the aforementioned Jonathan King had a hit with “Let It Out (Let It All Hang Out)” in 1970 and I promise I won’t mention his name again.

Back to Definition Of Sound though and it seems that they stole the song title from one source and then nicked the riff and some lyrics from another. It doesn’t sound like a good defence of their own creativity but in fact what they came up with was brilliant. The rapping is on point and the chorus is irresistibly catchy. It probably should have been a bigger hit than its No 17 peak. They followed this up with a very similar sounding single called “Moira Jane’s Café” which I don’t recall but which just scraped into the UK Top 40 but was a bigger deal over the pond where it became the first UK Rap record to become number 1 on the Billboard Dance Charts.

They released three albums in total before Clark went on to work in A&R and music publishing whilst Weekes released a solo album before leaving the music industry altogether.

What is this?! Scritti Politti and Shabba Ranks? Together? As with Pet Shop Boys and their “Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)” mash up single, the question that comes to mind is why? I guess I’m asking this question retrospectively though as I had no clue who Shabba Ranks was back in 1991. Indeed it would be another two years before he became a household name with a re-release of his “Mr Loverman” single when you couldn’t mention him without exclaiming ‘Shabba!’. Even so, it does seem an unlikely alliance Green Gartside’s voice is so fey that a pairing with a dancehall rapper really didn’t seem logical. And it doesn’t really work does it? The fact that they chose a Beatles song to desecrate doesn’t help their case for me – “She’s A Woman” was the B-side to the Fab Four’s 1964 chart topper “I Feel Fine”. Quite how it got to No 20 is a mystery to me. And what is Green wearing in the video?! This would prove to be Scritti Politti’s last ever Top 40 hit and also heralded an eight year hiatus for Gartside.

Despite having formed in 1985, I don’t think I know any song by Jane’s Addiction other than “Been Caught Stealing”. Although very much one of the first funk metal acts to gain mainstream exposure it was their fellow LA contemporaries Red Hot Chili Peppers that I would come to appreciate more.

“Been Caught Stealing” was from their “Ritual De Lo Habitual” which went platinum in the US and Gold in the UK but I have to admit that I knew its sleeve art more than its contents. I’m not sure what the clip is that TOTP were showing but it’s not the infamous official video for the single which won Best Alternative Video at the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards and was voted No. 47 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Videos. Maybe it was deemed too controversial for pre-watershed audiences? All that shoplifting plus there is some twerking and a false arse also features.

This was the band’s first ever UK Top 40 hit peaking at No 34 and they wouldn’t have another for 12 years.

Anthea is back on her musical talent theme in the intro to the next act who you would not have predicted being in the charts around now. Not that he didn’t have any talent – he had one of the most unique and distinctive voices ever. It was just that he hadn’t been anywhere near the Top 40 for five whole years. Suddenly though, Feargal Sharkey was back! After the heady, chart topping days of “A Good Heart” and all that, Feargal’s career took a stumble when second album ‘Wish” was a commercial failure and critically panned.

Fast forward three years and here he was bagging himself a No 12 hit though “I’ve Got News For You” wasn’t really what any of us could have expected. A warm, smooth, slowly building ballad in a blues style? This was no “Teenage Kicks”. I could imagine it being used to soundtrack a particularly tender and poignant scene in a rom-com film. The parent album “Songs From The Mardi Gras” sold if not spectacularly then solidly and included a version of the traditional Irish folk song “She Moved Through the Fair”. And who else that appeared earlier in the show used that song to score themselves a No 1? Yep, Simple Minds whose “Belfast Child” incorporated its melody. I don’t just throw this blog together you know!

It also included a track by Maria McKee who had famously written “A Good Heart” for Feargal. This wasn’t written to request though; “To Miss Someone” was from her self-titled solo debut which Sharkey just chose to cover. “I’ve Got News For You” was to be his swansong however. He quit recording and performing after this to become a big name within the music industry as CEO of British Music Rights and head of UK Music.

Oh and yes, back in 1991, he still had that floppy hair as well as a few facial whiskers.

There’s an article in the current edition of Classic Pop magazine about all the artists to have come out of Scandinavia. There’s more than you might imagine. There’s A-ha , Röyksopp and Lene Marlin from Norway whilst Denmark are represented by…erm..”Barbie Girl” hitmakers Aqua. But it’s Sweden who are the region’s big hitters. Yes, obviously we could all name Abba but there’s also The Cardigans, Ace Of Base, Europe, Avicii and of course Roxette. How do they compare to all those other names? Well, nobody will ever oust Abba from the forefront of the world’s consciousness but Marie Fredriksson and Per Gessle were phenomenally successful with a run of four US No 1 singles including “Joyride”.

That said, I don’t think it ever got any bigger or better for Roxette after this point in time. The “Joyride” LP sold 11 million copies worldwide but not one of their subsequent album releases got anywhere near that figure as that old enemy of the pop star diminishing returns set in. They remained a big deal in Europe throughout the rest of the decade but their US success disappeared quickly when interest in them dwindled. Here in the UK, the duo retained a fairly loyal fanbase for most fo the decade (both albums after “Joyride” also went Top 3 ) but by 1999’s “Have A Nice Day”, we had also moved on as it peaked at No 28. Their next three albums missed the Top 100 (that’s not a typo that’s one hundred!) altogether.

So, to return to Anthea Turner’s talent watch, did Roxette have talent? Absolutely. Did they always have the public’s ear? No. Were they ever fashionable? Never.

After last Friday’s Comic Relief Day event, it was inevitable that the official song by Hale & Pace would go to No 1. “The Stonk” really was dreadful though. It starts off a bit like the theme to Only Fools And Horses and then turns into a horribly naff Status Quo by numbers boogiewoogie track. Just vile.

I saw Norman Pace in Costa Coffee in Hull once learning his lines for a production at one of the theatres here as he supped on a cappuccino. He looked considerably older than he does here probably because he was considerably older. Therein ends my Hale & Pace anecdote. Also, they kind of undermine Anthea’s musical talent promise don’t you think?

The play out video is “Hangar 18” by Megadeth. Now all this trash metal nonsense normally leaves me cold but this one does at least have some relevance to the present day. How so? Well, it’s all about the conspiracy theory that alien bodies were taken to a facility called Hangar 18 in Dayton, Ohio when a UFO supposedly crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. The remains were later taken to Area 51 in Nevada or so the theory goes. Fast forward 74 years and the Pentagon’s UFO report that was published in June this year which basically no longer rules out the possibility of alien spacecraft as a possible explanation for unexplained sightings. There was not a full committal to the idea either though. In fact, the only confirmation from the report was that the acronym UFO should no longer be used and we should instead call them UAPs instead which stands for ‘Unidentified Aerial Phenomena’. Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to fly (ahem).

“Hangar 18” peaked at No 26 and was taken from their Top 10 album “Rust In Peace”.

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below:

Order of Appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Jesus Loves YouBow Down MisterNo but my wife has it on a Culture Club / Boy George Best Of album
2Simple MindsLet There Be LoveNo but again I have it on a Best Of I think
3BanderasThis Is Your LifeNo
4Quartz featuring Dina CarrollIt’s Too LateNope
5Pet Shop BoysWhere the Streets Have No Name (I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)No the single but it will be on their Pop Art Best Of that I have
6Definition Of SoundWhere Your Love Like HeavenNot at the time but I think I may have downloaded it from iTunes years later
7Scritti Politti and Shabba RanksShe’s A WomanNo – its was awful
8Jane’s AddictionBeen Caught StealingI did not
9Feargal SharkeyI’ve Got News For YouNice song but no
10RoxetteJoyrideNah
11Hale & PaceThe StonkThe Stink more like! No, not even for charity!
12MegadethHangar 18Negative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000x8pb/top-of-the-pops-21031991

TOTP 07 MAR 1991

Welcome back to TOTP Rewind where I am reviewing a time so long ago that in this week back in 1991, Ryan Giggs made his firtst team debut for Manchester United. He was 17 at the time and when he finally hung up his boots, he was 40! And just to hammer home how old that makes those of us who remember it feel, even that retirement was 7 years ago! Anyway, probably best to dismiss those thoughts from our minds (and certainly the subject of Ryan Giggs given the current state of his private life and what he has been accused of). Instead, let us glory in the tunes of March 1991. Our host is Nicky Campbell (watch out for the snidey remarks) and we begin with….

….FFS! Yes, 1991 saw the return of the Comic Relief single after the fallow year of 1990. Now a deeply embedded part of UK culture, at this point in history there had only ever been three Comic Relief singles in existence before Hale & Pace were recruited to be the public face of this year’s campaign courtesy of their song “The Stonk”. I say Hale & Pace but the record is actually credited to ‘Hale & Pace and the Stonkers’. Why Hale & Pace? Well, hard as it may seem to believe, these two were once very much seen as amongst the biggest names in UK comedy. They had just come off the back of a third ITV series series of their own and their characters like ‘The Two Rons’ and ‘Billy & Johnny’ had bumped up their profile significantly. Did I watch their show? I think I probably did – there wasn’t that much choice back then with there being just the four channels and all – but I never found ‘The Two Rons’ very funny at all although ‘Billy & Johnny’ did raise a smile. They were probably more controversial and cutting edge than I remember (they did start their career with appearances in the very funny and very anarchic The Young Ones after all) with sketches that included full frontal nudity and of course the microwaved cat. Yet they were perceived by the Comic Relief charity as lovable and establishment enough to front up their 1991 song.

Ah yes, the actual ‘song’. I would go as far as to say that “The Stonk” is in with a good shout at being the worst ever Comic Relief single. Too harsh? Let’s examine the competition. The very first example of this genre was “Living Doll” by Cliff Richard and The Young Ones. Now the Cliff original is crap admittedly but Rick, Vivian, Neil and Mike were great enough comedy creations to make the joke work (even Cliff plays along well enough). Plus it was the first. We hadn’t seen this before and so it was a novelty in more than one sense. The second single was “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Mel & Kim (aka Mel Smith and Kim Wilde). It’s tragically awful and as Kim sings so corny but it has become accepted as part of the Christmas song canon so I suggest it just about gets away with it. Next was “Help” by Bananarama and Lananeeneenoonoo. Again, not especially funny but it is rescued for me by the lampooning of new ‘nana Jacquie O’Sullivan by the wonderful Kathy Burke. In the years after “The Stonk”, the charity turned to artists doing straight up versions of proper pop songs without the comic attachment such as Cher, Chrissie Hynde and Neneh Cherry doing “Love Can Build a Bridge” and The Spice Girls allowing their fourth single “Mama” / “Who Do You Think You Are” to be adopted as the official song. Then there were the boy band doing cover versions years – Boyzone and “When the Going Gets Tough”, Westlife and “Uptown Girl” and One Direction and “One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks)” – before Peter Kay took on the mantle for a few years.

So where does “The Stonk” come in this list? It’s got to be pretty near the bottom surely? I think it’s the way Hale & Pace perform it semi seriously that grates. That and the dancing. Oh God, the dancing. The song actually had some heavyweight musicians behind it including Queen’s Brian May (who produced it) and Roger Taylor plus Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmour, Nick Lowe and Black Sabbath’s Tony Iommi. I’m surprised not to see Status Quo’s name in there as well as their boogie woogie rock style seems to have been appropriated for “The Stonk”.

For all its many faults, “The Stonk” did the job it was meant to by going to No 1 and raising lots of money for charity. It was, and remains, awful though.

It’s that bloody Rocky V song again next. Is this the third time it’s been on the show? Seems a lot for a song that got no further in the charts than No 20. Nicky Campbell, having not really been able to go to town with the snide remarks seeing as the first song was for charity, makes up for lost time by stating “Rocky V is about to be released, the last among sequels, they promise, and we sincerely hope…” – boxing clever with his insults as ever.

As with the film itself, does anybody really recall “Go For It” by Joey B Ellis AKA MC Breeze and Tynetta Hare with any fondness? Has anyone even heard it played on the radio since it was in the charts 30 years ago? By contrast, how many times do you hear “Eye Of The Tiger” played on one of the nostalgia radio stations? The film is similarly held in low esteem. Surely the least liked entry in the entire franchise, the film tanked at the box office. Had it stuck to its original ending which saw Rocky die after having taken a beating from his ex- protégé Tommy Gunn in a car park street brawl, maybe it would have benefited from being the ultimate final act of the story. Supposedly the studio changed its mind though declaring, according to director John Avildsen in an Ultimate Classic Rock interview:

‘Oh, by the way, Rocky’s not going to die. Batman doesn’t die. Superman, James Bond – these people don’t die’.”

I’m not really sure those are valid comparisons and anyway *SPOILER* Iron Man dies at the end of Avengers: Endgame.

Although Rocky didn’t die, it was the end of the road for Joey B Ellis and Tynetta Hare who never had another UK chart hit.

It’s that cover of Carole King’s “It’s Too Late” by Quartz featuring Dina Carroll next. Given an innocent verdict in Miranda Sawyer’s kangaroo court article about the “great dance swizze up” in Smash Hits at the time on account of the fact that Dina does actually sing on the record, I still couldn’t be doing with this. I loved the Carole King original but the lameness of this dance version is exemplified by the Spanish guitar break in the middle eight which is actually played on a synthesiser. So taken aback at the synthetic nature of this is Dina that she misses her cue to come back in thereby adding to the while fakery by making a sham of the performance as well as the song.

Quartz did released an album with “It’s Too Late” on. Having looked it up, I do remember the cover but I’m pretty sure it didn’t sell well and we never heard from Quartz again. Dina Carroll on the other hand….

“It’s Too Late” peaked at No 8.

It’s the video for Living Colour and their “Love Rears Its Ugly Head” single next and whoever was responsible for the text on the chart run down graphics clearly didn’t know the difference between it’s and its as they add an unwanted apostrophe into the song title. Standards and all that.

Wikipedia informs me that the band’s drummer is called Will Calhoun. Will Calhoun? Why is that name stirring embers in the ashes of my memory? Will Calhoun? Come on man, think! Yes! Of course. Will Calhoun was a recurring character in The Adventures Of Champion The Wonder Horse. No, if you are anywhere near Amy age (53 as it happens) then you do remember The Adventures Of Champion The Wonder Horse. Listen to this….

…see, told you. In the show, Will Calhoun was a cowardly old timer cowboy who told some tall tales of his supposed escapades to gullible 12 year old Ricky. None of this has anything at all to do with Living Colour but I’ve got to fill out this post somehow and I used up all my meagre Living Colour knowledge the first time they were on TOTP. OK, anything else I can dredge up? How about I give some credit to Nicky Campbell who has clearly done his research for his intro to this one. “They’re candid, they’re lurid, they’re vivid and livid…” he says which in itself doesn’t make much sense but it does name check the title of their first album “Vivid” which must have been deliberate surely other wise it’s just word salad.

“Love Rears Its Ugly Head” peaked at No 12.

Now here’s act we haven’t seen before on TOTP but you would be forgiven for thinking you had. Although I mistakenly thought that they were a part of the ‘Madchester’ scene when I first heard about them, Ned’s Atomic Dustbin were actually one of the trinity of acts that came out of Stourbridge, West Midlands alongside The Wonder Stuff and Pop Will Eat Itself and wouldn’t you just know it looking at their image. All that crimped hair, shorts and slogan emblazoned T-shirts, jumping around on stage like kids at a playground. This look wasn’t restricted to bands from Stourbridge either. You could also add EMF and Jesus Jones to the list as well. The T-shirts, much like with James and Insprial Carpets, were quite a thing with The Ned’s (as their fans referred to them). They reportedly produced 86 of their own band designs within a three year period. Pretty sure we stocked some of them in the basement of the Our Price Store I was working in.

It wasn’t all about image and clothes though; they did make some music as well. “Happiness” was their first Top 40 hit after two earlier singles “Kill Your Television” and “Until You Find Out” had just missed out on that accolade and, for me, its fuzzy pop sound certainly didn’t seem out of place in the company of The Wonder Stuff, Jesus Jones et al. Maybe not quite as slick though. A bit The Wedding Present -esque even. Parent album “God Fodder” was a big success rising as high as No 4 in the charts and even making some waves across the pond in the US. As of 2013, “God Fodder” has sold around 500,000 copies worldwide. Despite splitting in 1995, the original line up reformed in 2008 to play some live shows and they retain a loyal fan base around the world. That’s not the only thing they retained though. Lead singer Jonn Penney still has that lopsided hairstyle..

The TOTP producers are still persisting with this pointless Top 5 selling albums feature. For the record then, these were the biggest albums in February 1991:

1. Queen – “Innuendo”

2. Gloria Estefan – “Into The Light”

3. Chris Isaak – “Wicked Game”

4. Elton John – “The Very Best Of Elton John”

5. George Michael – “Listen Without Prejudice Vol 1”

Blimey. You might get a non mainstream act like Ned’s Atomic Dustbin in the singles chart but the albums chart was another matter altogether! Apart from Chris Isaak maybe, the rest are all very established rock and pop royalty.

Back to the music and next we have Xpansions with their dance track “Move Your Body (Elevation)”. A couple of posts ago, I talked about how my mate Robin had found himself in the TOTP studio audience by mistake as he and his mate had believed Morrissey was going to be on the show. When Mozza wasn’t, they were trapped in a world of terrible pop stars and songs. Determined to avoid the camera at all costs, Robin thought he had saved himself from embarrassment…until this repeat was shown 30 years later and he spotted the back of his head in amongst the throng…and he was clapping along to Xpansions! I’ve watched this back a couple of times but can’t spot him (shame). If only it had been this show that he’d attended then he would have at least have seen Ned’s Atomic Dustbin who I know he liked and ..erm..oh yeah, Hale & Pace.

As for Xpansions, in that aforementioned Miranda Sawyer Smash Hits article, they get exposed as the charlatans they were as the vocalist we see on stage – Sally Ann Marsh – didn’t actually sing on the record. No, that was a 16 year old called Lizzie D who didn’t get any credit nor repayment for her vocals. A “swizze up” indeed!

Having achieved a huge triumph with “It Must Have Been Love” from the Pretty Woman soundtrack the previous Summer, Roxette‘s record company EMI had sensibly been hurriedly re-issuing tracks from their back catalogue that had flopped initially to consolidate on this. However, that practice could only sustain for so long before new material was needed from the duo. In that context, “Joyride” (the single and album) needed to succeed. Both did in spades.

There wasn’t much in the way of musical progression with this new material but why fix something that wasn’t broke? The song “Joyride” was pure, unabashed, unashamed out and out pop. Probably inevitably so; did Roxette know how to do anything else? The opening guitar chords must surely have been pinched by The Rembrandts for their theme from Friends hit “I’ll Be There For You” whilst Per Gessle himself seems to have been guilty of being very influenced by The Doors track “Hello I Love You” in the chorus. In his defence, he says he was inspired by a note his girlfriend (now wife) left on his piano, which read: “Hej, din tok, jag älskar dig” (“Hello, you fool, I love you”). In fact, Per was all over this one – it’s him doing the majority of the vocals whereas it had been Marie Fredriksson on their recent chart hits like “Listen To Your Heart” and the ubiquitous “It Must Have Been Love” and it was his decision to include the whistling bits. Supposedly, he got the idea after watching Monty Python’s Life of Brian and its song “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”.

The “Joyride” album would go 2× Platinum in the UK and sell 11 million copies worldwide spawning 5 hit singles along the way. “Joyride” the single would be a US No 1 (their fourth) and peak at No 4 in the UK. And yet for all this success, for some, “Joyride” was everything that was wrong with Roxette encapsulated in one song. Bland, formulaic, plastic were some of the accusations thrown at it and it was certainly sneered at by the majority of the staff in the Our Price I was working in. I’m sure Per and Marie couldn’t have cared less.

And finally The Simpsons have been toppled as we have a new No 1! Not only was “Should I Stay Or Should I Go” the only UK chart topper of The Clash‘s career, it was also their only ever entry into the Top 10. Unbelievable but true. Had I been more on the ball with writing this post, I could have made a rather obvious reference to Matt Hancock after Friday morning’s revelations in The Sun. As it’s 3 days on from that and the weaselly little twerp has already resigned, I can’t. Instead, I’ll have to call on @TOTPFacts for this Tories / The Clash mash up:

WTAF?! Again I say, unbelievable but true.

Presumably, The Clash were happy to receive the royalties from the song being a hit all over again but the shrieks from the show’s audience that you can hear as the video is shown (presumably there was some playback of the track in the studio) don’t seem to sit comfortably to me for a band who famously boycotted TOTP.

Like its 1982 original, this 1991 Levis advert inspired re-release was actually a double A side but you’d be forgiven for not knowing what the other track was. It’s “Rush” by Big Audio Dynamite II, Mick Jones’s post The Clash creation. By remarkable coincidence, the show’s opening number “The Stonk” was also a double A side but again, this is very little known. The flip to the Hale & Pace track was “The Smile Song’ by Victoria Wood but there’s hardly any reference made to it in chart archives.

The play out video is “Over Rising” by The Charlatans (the proper ones and not Xpansions!). This was actually an EP and didn’t feature on any of the band’s studio albums (although it is on their “Melting Pot” Best Of). Supposedly, the track “Happen To Die” was meant to be the lead song from the EP but The Gulf War effect meant it faced a potential radio ban and the decision was taken to promote “Over Rising”. It’s a nifty enough tune but not one of my favourites of theirs. It peaked at No 15.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of AppearanceArtistTitle Did I buy it?
1Hale & PaceThe StonkThe Stonk? Bloody big stink more like. Not even for charity. No!
2Joey B Ellis AKA MC Breeze and Tynetta HareGo For ItNot likely
3Quartz featuring Dina CarrollIt’s Too LateNah
4Living ColourLove Rears Its Ugly HeadNo but it was on that Q Magazine compilation album I bought
5Ned’s Atomic DustbinHappinessI did not
6XpansionsMove Your Body (Elevation)Hell no
7RoxetteJoyrideNo, I observed the rules of the road and did not
8The ClashShould I Stay Or Should I GoNot the single but I have it on something I’m sure
9The CharlatansOver RisingNo but I have that Melting Pot Best Of

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000x2h3/top-of-the-pops-07031991