TOTP 14 FEB 1991

Welcome to TOTP Rewind where we by happy circumstance we find the there is a show scheduled to be broadcast on Valentine’s Day! Yes, the calendar and the stars aligned 30 years ago meaning that music could be the food of love so let’s see which beautiful ballads would have given all those lovers out there excess of it…

….hmm. Well, the title of the song is romantic I guess but “I Wanna Give You Devotion” by Nomad was hardly a traditional love song. In fact, it you check out the lyrics, there doesn’t seem to be anything about plighting one’s troth in them at all. In fact, it’s all rather dark as rapper MC Mikee Freedom (no double ‘e’ no points) bangs on about nightmares, the night creeping in and uses words such as ‘frightening’, ‘spooky’ and ‘terrorise’ to get his point across. And what was this point exactly? Well, but seems to be political as at one point he raps:

Poll tax came and up went the rise
Open your eyes and realise
I’m a truly disguise
Like hawk, the slayer, he came and courted
Maggie came, but now she’s slaughtered

I’m guessing not too many couples slow danced the night away to this one. To be fair, I’m sure it did pull in the punters onto the dance floor across the nation’s nightclubs but probably to wig out rather than canoodle.

“I Wanna Give You Devotion” peaked at No 2.

Talking of wigs… here comes Kylie Minogue with her video for “What Do I Have To Do?”, the one where she sports loads of different hairstyles which are, of course, mostly false hair pieces. It’s a pretty nifty little dance tune but again, hardly the stuff romantic nights in are made of. Whatever your opinion about Kylie, you can’t deny that she was prolific. This was her 12th single release in three years and she’d also released three albums in that time.

Going back to the video, @TOTPFacts dug out a nice behind the scenes piece about how it was filmed including a slow motion sequence which entailed the track being speeded up. I’ve watched the video back in full and I really don’t think the effect achieved was worth the effort. It was hardly up there with the reverse sequences in Danny Wilson’s “Second Summer Of Love” video when they had to mime to the vocals backwards. Also, anyone suggesting you can’t tell the difference between Kylie’s normal vocals and the speeded up ones is just cruel.

An actual song with the word ‘love’ in the title next but again it’s hardly a big, slushy Valentine’s Day number. As with Nomad earlier, “You Got The Love” was a huge dance anthem courtesy of The Source featuring Candi Staton. Though I just seemed to accept that of course she was the vocalist, in retrospect, was it quite an odd pairing? After all, Candi hadn’t had a Top 40 hit in the UK since 1982 when a version of “Suspicious Minds” made No 31 and anyway, she was surely best known for her 1976 disco classic “Young Hearts Run Free” and her cover of The Bee Gees “Nights On Broadway” the following year. Well, that’s all I knew about her anyway. Years after “You Got The Love”, I worked with a guy who swore by Candi Staton and was probably appalled by my rudimentary knowledge of her back catalogue. Looking at her discography, she has actually released 28 albums over the course of her recording career bu then she doesn’t do things by halves – she’s also been married six times.

The 1991 version of “You Got The Love” peaked at No 4.

Definitely not a Valentine’s Day tune was “In Yer Face” by 808 State. By this point, these Manc lads were getting the hang of this pop star business as “In Yer Face” was their third consecutive Top 10 hit in their own right after “Pacific State” and “Cubik” / “Olympic” and their fourth if you include “The Only Rhyme That Bites” with MC Tunes. Pretty impressive stuff from a bunch of lads whose origins lay in their shared love of a record store. To be fair, It’s a legendary record store. Eastern Bloc was where all the cool people bought their music. Situated on Oldham Street in Manchester’s historic Northern Quarter district, it was the purveyor of dance music of every hue – house, techno, drum and bass etc it was all here mostly on vinyl and a lot of it stock was imports. I think I went in once during my 10 years of living in Manchester (mainly just to say I’d been in there) and I certainly didn’t buy anything (not being, you know, cool and that). Apparently there used to be a rule that if a punter came in Eastern Bloc and didn’t know anybody behind the counter, then you wouldn’t get served! I know record shops in general could have that image of being staffed by sniffy musos behind the counter who would openly jeer at a punter’s purchase choices but that’s weapons grade pomposity!

Anyway, when owner Martin Price got together with regular customers Graham Massey and Gerald Simpson, the seeds of the group were sown and with a couple of additions to the membership in DJs Andrew Barker and Darren Partington and the departure of Simpson, the classic 808 State line up was established. “In Yer Face” was from the band’s third studio album “ex:el” (which was their biggest selling album peaking at No 4) and was about as far removed from a romantic ballad as it was possible to be. That grinding, almost sinister back beat combined with some out there samples trickery and the only vocal being a disembodied voice saying ‘In Your face’, it was quite unnerving to a pop kid like me.

Price left the band shortly after whilst Eastern Bloc relocated to Stevenson Square in Manchester City centre in 2011. Unsurprisingly, I have yet to visit it in its current location.

As host Gary Davies says, the highest climber this week is a song that was 21 years old back in 1991. So why was “Alright Now” by Free back in the Top 40 in 1991? Do you even have to ask? Inevitably, it was due to its inclusion in an advert of course, specifically this advert:

Well, it made a change from Levis I suppose. With “Alright Now” climbing the charts, Island records released a Best Of album tie-in entitled rather boringly “The Best Of Free: All Right Now” which sold surprisingly well going silver in the UK. I say surprisingly because Free only ever had five UK chart hits and two of those were “Alright Now”.

Obviously I was already acquainted with the track before its 1991 reissue as its one of those songs that has received constant radio play down the years and routinely features in those Greatest Rock Songs of all time polls. If anything, it has completely overshadowed the rest of their output and in a Songfacts interview, drummer Simon Kirke, confirmed this when he commented “It became a bit of an albatross around our necks, I have to say. Even though it elevated Free into the big leagues, it became a bit of an albatross because we couldn’t follow it.” Albatross or not, it has been covered by the likes of Rod Stewart, Mike Oldfield, Christina Aguilera, the Runaways and ..erm…Pepsi & Shirlie. No really. Look…

Oh and indeed, dear. By the way, it’s suitability as a Valentine’s Day song was very much in doubt due to the lyrics being about a man picking up a woman purely for sex and when the ‘L’ word gets mentioned, her reply is:


She said love, Lord above
Now you’re tryin’ to trick me in love

The 1991 re-release of “Alright Now” peaked at No 8 having made it all the way to No 2 in 1970.

Some nice Valentine’s themed segue work from Gary Davies next as he manages to get in a plug for World Gold Heart day raising money for the Variety Club before introducing “Every Beat Of The Heart” by The Railway Children. Finally, a love song on Valentine’s Day! Or is it? If you actually analyse the lyrics, it seems to be a break up song. Check out this opening verse:

That’s some angry sky behind me
But I don’t need you here to guide me
Identify too familiar ground
And I’ll keep away, I’ll keep away

It doesn’t get any better in the chorus when lead singer Gary Newby sings:

Every beat of the heart
Brings me closer to the start
Takes me further away from you
Brings me closer to the truth

Damn these song lyrics getting in the way of a neatly themed post!

So who were The Railway Children? Named after the film starring a young Jenny Agutter, they were actually signed initially to Factory and very much darlings of the mid 80s indie scene. However, there’s is a well told story of not wanting to be a cult band forever and seeking out bigger commercial success. A move to Virgin and touring spots supporting REM and Lloyd Cole exposed them to a larger audience and eventually they scored a bona fide No 24 chart hit with “Every Beat Of The Heart” from their third album “Native Place” when it was re-released after peaking at No 68 in 1990. It’s a great little pure pop song with an indie twang and they looked set for those bigger things they desired on the back of it. I remember there being a rush in demand for their album and not being able to get it into the store as Virgin temporarily withdrew it presumably while they decided how to promote it. I would see this record company practice a number of times over the years and it was intensely annoying for customers and record staff alike (see also Nirvana when “Smells Like Teen Spirit” broke and “Nevermind” was withdrawn).

And then….nothing. Subsequent single releases from the album failed to get anywhere near the Top 40 and they would become just what they didn’t want – a one hit wonder. Musical differences within the band then arose as they searched for a new direction and they split not long after although since 2016 the original line up has reunited to perform some festival gigs.

As with The Railway Children before him, Chris Isaak‘s new single was actually an old single having originally been released in 1987. “Blue Hotel” was taken from his eponymous second album and had tanked on its original outing peaking at No 100. However, it was crucially one of the tracks included on the rapidly compiled “Wicked Game” compilation album in early 1991 which was designed to be an introduction to Isaak’s canon of work for the newly initiated in the light of the success of the “Wicked Game” single. Hence, it was plucked from obscurity for another tilt at the Top 40 and hey presto! Another hit! It’s the very definition of moody and, to my ears, was a good choice as a more uptempo follow up to its predecessor. Again, as with The Railway Children, I recall there being a demand for his back catalogue but a lot of it was unavailable in this country but I think our shop got a few copies in on import.

Despite its yearning qualities, the lyrics (yet again) don’t imbue the song with a natural romantic quality. Instead they concern lonely highways and life not working out Chris’s way. In short, it’s mournful for a lost love rather than celebratory of a current one. I liked it though. It stuck out as an antidote to all those dance anthems and he looked as cool as f**k even in that vile suit.

“Blue Hotel” peaked at No 17 second time around.

It’s that spooky “Only You” song by Praise next. Combining electronic and world music (Wikipedia assures me the genre is called ethnic electronica), it featured the vocals of Miriam Stockley who has quite an address book full of contacts. She has provided backing vocals for tracks by the likes of Roger Daltrey, Thomas Dolby, Queen and multiple SAW artists. Oh and Nik Kershaw (ahem). As for its Valentine’s Day credentials, I think I would be a bit freaked out to say the least if I’d just entered into a romantic relationship with someone who wanted this to be our song. Plus there’s the subject of those pesky, lyrics again. Now I can’t work out what on earth Miriam is singing about but according to the internet, the opening lines are:

Whip, whip, whip
Whip, whip, whip
Whip, whip, whip
Whip like that
Whip, whip, whip
Whip
Whip like that
Whip like that
Whip like that
We suffer everyday, what is it for?

WTAF?! Surely not?

Despite Gary Davies’ assertion that it could be No 1 next week, “Only You” would speak at No 4.

Definitely not a love song is the new No 1 which is “Do The Bartman” by The Simpsons. I really can’t explain the success of this single. Yes, The Simpsons was pulling in the ratings in the US but in the UK it had only been on air a few months and even then only on Sky which the majority of the public didn’t have access to. And it isn’t even funny – surely humour is an essential ingredient of a novelty record? As I was one of those who knew little of the programme, I assumed that Bart must be the lead character but surely, in retrospect, we all agree that Homer is the true comedy heart of the show don’t we?

We arrive at the final track of the night and by my reckoning we haven’t had one single, genuine love song on a show being broadcast on Valentine’s Day. Weren’t there any suitable candidates that were going up the charts or new entries?

*checks chart rundown*

There was a new entry which actually had ‘love’ in the title! Oh hang on – it’s “Love Rears Its Ugly Head” By Living Colour. Yeah, I don’t think that title fits the bill somehow. But wait! There was a band with the word ‘Valentine” in their name! An open goal for the TOTP producers surely? Ah, it’s My Bloody Valentine. Not sure some guitar feedback from a bunch of shoe gazers who performed a half hour interlude of noise in their gigs is going to work either. How about “Get Here” by Oleta Adams then? Perfect and it’s going up the charts. What? It was on last week? Ok, I’ve got it. An unlikely saviour but it just might work. “Beautiful Love” by Julian Cope. That’ll do. He’s on next week you say? Oh forget it then!

So what do we sign off with? Well, it’s a good old rocker by Jimmy Barnes with INXS. Despite being one of the most popular and best-selling Australian music artists of all time, I have to admit to not knowing much about Barnes but I do know that this collaboration with INXS was a cover of a tune originally recorded by 60s Aussie band The Easybeats (of “Friday On My Mind” fame). “Good Times” was in the charts due to its inclusion on the soundtrack of The Lost Boys film which was shown on BBC on New Year’s Day this year hence the renewed interest in it. There was a trend for this sort of thing around this time. We’d already seen Berlin and Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes back in the charts on the back of terrestrial TV film premieres. The Lost Boys is a great film though and one of those that I pretty much will always watch if I stumble over it while channel flicking.

The Jimmy Barnes / INXS version of “Good Times” peaked at No 18.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of AppearanceArtistTitleDid I Buy It?
1NomadI Wanna Give You DevotionNope
2Kylie MinogueWhat Do I Have To Do?No
3The Source featuring Candi StatonYou Got The LoveGood tune but no
4808 StateIn Yer FaceNot really my bag
5FreeAlright NowNah
6The Railway ChildrenEvery Beat Of The HeartNo but I probably should have
7Chris IsaakBlue HotelNo but my wife had the Wicked Game compilation album with it on
8PraiseOnly YouNo thanks
9Do The BartmanThe SimpsonsAs if
10Jimmy Barnes / INXSGood TimesNegative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000wvlx/top-of-the-pops-14021991

TOTP 20 DEC 1990

Xmas 1990 is upon us meaning that we are just days away from finding out that year’s festive No 1 record. This also means that there is precious little time for record companies to stimulate enough sales to get their particular act to the coveted top spot. Activity is frenzied and to paraphrase David Bowie, you can almost see the record pluggers sliding down chimneys.

As for me, I’m working my first Xmas at Our Price and am just longing for some time off after day after day of huge queues of customers all needing serving. Back then, Our Price still had what must now been seen as an archaic ‘masterbag’ system where the contents of a CD, tape, VHS etc were kept filed behind the counter with just the empty case on the racks. This meant serving someone could be quite labour intensive as you had to go and find what they wanted behind the scenes first. If you were on the counter all day, it felt like a long shift.

Added to this was the impending pressure that all the temps felt which was who (if any of us) would be kept on after Xmas was over. As it stood, I had nothing lined up work wise if I wasn’t kept on and we had the rent on our flat to make. My wife was also in temporary employment at a toy shop but we knew that was definitely ending as the store was to close after Xmas. This was proper adult stuff. It came to pass that I did end up being offered a permanent job by the store manager whist I was out for a drink one night in the achingly trendy Dry bar with my wife one evening. I think it was the first time we’d been in there as we were skint most of the time. The manager (Greg) happened to be there as well and he just sidled up to me and said did I want to stay on after Xmas. I immediately accepted and that was that. The biggest phew of all time (or at least it felt like it)! Was it just a case of serendipity that secured my employment (and our rent)? That I just happened to be in the right bar at the right time? I guess I’ll never know now but I will always be grateful to Greg. It turned out that only a couple of us got permanent jobs so the relief was even bigger once this became apparent.

Back to the music though and we start with “Mary Had A Little Boy” by Snap! The fourth and final single to be lifted from their “World Power” album, it extended their run of Top 10 singles by peaking at No 8. Although superficially based around the Mary Had A Little Lamb nursery rhyme, there’s not actually much of the source material on display save for the chorus the lyrics of which paraphrase its opening couple of stanzas. The rest of it seems to be about Turbo B working up the courage to chat up the titular Mary. It’s all pretty nasty stuff as well with him rapping about Mary’s ‘fantasy body’ and describing himself as a ‘ruthless chiller’ and a ‘ladies killer’. Was there a more objectionable pop star this year than this guy? Oh yeah, there was Timmy Mallett of course but even he wasn’t sure about this track, describing it in Smash Hits (as the guest singles reviewer) as sounding “as though they’re scraping the barrel by doing what is basically a nursery rhyme.” Having your music dissed by Timmy Mallett? Ouch!

Three songs now that were all Breakers on the previous show starting with The Carpenters and (They Long To Be) Close To You”. Although their songs are instantly recognisable to us, I hadn’t checked out their chart history before nor realised quite how many of their songs had actually been hits over here. I was thinking it would resemble Barry Manilow who, for all his fame, only ever had one Top 10 record in the UK. Not so Richard and Karen. Although not as successful as in the US where they had three No 1 singles, a haul of seven Top Tenners (of which two were No 2 hits) in this country is pretty impressive.

Oscar Wilde famously said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and that is true of many a music artist. Perhaps the biggest indication of your standing is if you are so well respected that you have your own tribute album. The Carpenters achieved this in 1994 when “If I Were A Carpenter” appeared featuring covers of their songs by artists including Sheryl Crow, The Cranberries and Sonic Youth. This one was my favourite though…
 

Some INXS now as “Disappear” does the very opposite by climbing three places to No 21. This was peak INXS in many ways, consolidating on the staggering commercial success of “Kick” by pretty much repeating the formula and thereby keeping the record company and fans alike happy. This was pre-grunge and before the mainstream emergence of Nirvana that overnight seemed to make every other contemporary rock band irrelevant. Things were pretty sweet in the band’s world. Michael Hutchence even had a nice, steady girlfriend in Kylie Minogue. 

In a review of “Disappear” on the songmeanings.com site, there is a comment by a user that says the song sounds like the theme tune to a kids TV show called Super WHY!. OK then, lets’s see if there’s anything in this….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkDe5ZMy72E

…no, that claim is just utter nonsense.

Enigma now and there’s no disputing it that “Sadness (Part 1)” is going to be massive as it rises from No 27 to No 6 in one week prompting ideas of it even being No 1 for Xmas. It didn’t quite achieve that but it did rise to the top spot eventually in the New Year for one week whilst spending an impressive seven whole weeks in the Top 10. I have to admit that I thought it was at No 1 for much longer than that. This Gregorian chant inspired piece of ambient, new age pop (if there is such a genre) was soon seen as a massive cash cow by Virgin records who proceeded to flood the market with a series of ‘mood’ music compilations, the most successful of which was “Pure Moods” featuring artists like Vangelis, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Enya and, of course, Enigma. Included in the comments on YouTube for the video to “Sadness (Part 1)” was this lovely little observation:

If you’re here because you remember this from the Pure Moods CD as a kid – I regret to inform you your parents definitely were banging to this song

Dear me! Thankfully this statement does not apply to me. I must stop reading these user comments!

Oh, I neglected to mention that the host for this one is Bruno Brookes who displays some shocking musical ignorance by declaring “The 80s return and remember this film…” before introducing the “Grease Megamix”.The 80s Bruno? The pissing 80s?! Are you out of your mind?! Grease came out in 1978 you cretin! It was based on a musical that opened in 1971 depicting life in a US High School in the 50s – what on earth is 80s about Grease?! What’s that?! Bruno also says it was mixed by Pete Waterman so maybe he was referring to him? No, not having that. Let me listen to his intro again…
 
…no he’s clearly referring to the film Grease. Just unforgivable. Oh and on checking , it wasn’t remixed by Pete Waterman but by Phil Harding and Ian Curnow of PWL.
 
Enough of Brookes and his inaccuracies though. Why were John Travolta and Olivia Newton John back in the charts in 1990? It was to celebrate / promote the release of the film on home video. OK, that makes sense but why, if it’s a megamix, does it only feature one song? The actual record featured three songs from the soundtrack ( “Summer Nights” /  “You’re The One That I Want” / “Greased Lightnin'”) but TOTP just showed “Summer Nights”. I’m guessing it was a timing issue as the full megamix is 4:46 in length so maybe they just showed the end of it which happened to be solely  “Summer Nights”? It does look odd I have to admit. 
 
“Grease Megamix” peaked at No 3. Xmas party anyone? 

 

 
Back to the songs we’ve already seen now as MC Hammer brings us “Pray”. Taken from his album “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em” which went diamond (note, not platinum but diamond) in the US. Now either I didn’t know or I had erased from my memory but in conjunction with the album, there was a film imaginatively entitled Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em: The Movie. Ye Gods! I looked it up on IMDB and the storyline is listed as:
 
MC Hammer returns to his hometown and, with the help of some funky tunes, defeats a druglord who is using kids to traffic his stuff.
 
WTF?! That sounds…no, I’ve got no words. And of course, you know what’s coming next…user reviews! Yes, I had to go there again didn’t I? Now these reviews were either deeply ironic or deeply insane. I’m not sure which. Here’s one…
 
This movie is clearly about the epic, nay, cosmic struggle of good and evil, that films like Full Metal Jacket or Apocalypse Now can’t even begin to address. Even though Hammer is a rapper, and generally that would be a bad thing, this film depicts him as the sword of justice fighting the evil drug dealers of Oakland with his “posse”. Hammer plays dual roles in this film: one as himself (i.e. MC Hammer) and another as the Reverend Pressure who is known for his jaw dropping performances. This leitmotif is similar to the star turns of Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in films like “Coming to America” where they play multiple characters – except that Hammer is clearly better. This film also has a really important message: say yes to Jesus and Hammer, no to drugs and violence. I cannot imagine a film that does a better job of capturing the essence of the nineties, except perhaps Cool As Ice. Sadly, however, this film was overlooked by the Academy.”
 
Wow! A lot to unpack there but basically Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em: The Movie is better than Full Metal Jacket and Apocalypse Now according to somebody called cindi0724. Not only that but it can only be eclipsed by the film Cool As Ice which of course was Vanilla Ice’s acting debut. Starting to see a theme in cindi0724’s thinking yet? I like the way she notes that the film was ‘overlooked by the Academy’. Overlooked?! Completely disregarded and ignored and with good reason more like. 
 
Want to hear another review? Here’s someone called Pilgurn’s take on MC Hammer’s film:
 
“Without a doubt sending out an inspiring message to the youth of all our great cities around the globe. Just to free your legs and to dance and rap your way through disputes and even into a girls heart. Absolutely fantastic bombastic, watch it any time you wanna get jiggy.”
 
As a mantra for life, it’s hard to argue against freeing your legs and dancing and rapping your way through disputes isn’t it? 
 
“Pray” peaked at No 8. 

After the “Grease Megamix”, we now get another 50s inspired medley, this time courtesy of Status Quo. Unlike Enigma who took 26 years to record “Sadeness (Part II)”, the Quo only took 80 days to release “The Anniversary Waltz (Part II)” as the follow up to Part I. To put this in context, Michael Palin managed to circumnavigate the world in 80 days back in 1989 whilst it took Rick, Francis and co the same amount of time to come up with some money for old rope, Jive Bunny style medley bullshit. Quite the achievement. 
 
Following Part 1’s formula to the letter, this was some rock ‘n’ roll standards from the likes of Buddy Holly, The Everly Brothers and Chuck Berry all cobbled together but unlike Jive Bunny  – and this was the band’s crucial differential  – they were all recorded live. There was even a a small sketch of a rabbit on the record sleeve to make the point. You weren’t fooling anybody boys – this was unmitigated shite. Even so, their army of fans still bought enough of it to send it to No 16 in the charts proving you can actually fool all of the people all of the time if they are Quo fans.  
 

 

OK so this was the last TOTP to be broadcast before the Xmas Day show (which I won’t be reviewing as there’s nothing in there that I haven’t already passed comment on) but when did we actually find out the Xmas No 1 for 1990? Well, it was officially announced on Sunday 23rd December 1990 meaning the chart run down featured in this programme did NOT tell us who it was. All of which was just as well for Cliff Richard as he was only at No 2 by this point with “Saviour’s Day”. Was it this this TOTP performance that ensured he got enough last minute sales to get over the line? Possibly. We know that he also did The Des O’Connor Show in the run up to Xmas which Andy, the singles buyer at the Our Price store where I was working, put great stock in and predicted it would win Cliff the race.

Aside from being his 13th No 1 record, “Saviour’s Day” was also the single that meant that he was the first recording artist to achieve a chart topper in five different decades – a fact that was much trumpeted at the time I recall. He would only last one week at the top due to some dastardly, cunning ploy by Iron Maiden to manipulate the singles sales in the slowest week of the year after the Xmas rush but that’s all for a future post. 

 
Close but no cigar time for Vanilla Ice as “Ice Ice Baby” will fall just short of becoming the Xmas No 1 by one week despite it spending its fourth week at the top here. He would follow up that single’s success by releasing a cover of Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” in the new year which would make the Top 10 but it was all down hill from then on in with no subsequent releases even making the Top 20 over here….until that Jedward mash up thing in 2010 but let’s not go there again. 
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptTkBtpUfbw

Inevitably after two megamix singles already on the show, we end with the most famous medley transgressors of them all. “The Crazy Party Mixes” was the seventh (!) hit for Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers who couldn’t resist the lure of Xmas and just had to release a festive party single to delight us all. It was taken from an album called “It’s Party Time” (of course it was) and, like all their releases, it was hateful. 
 

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM5pmNpxCxw

Order of appearance

Artist

Song

Did I Buy it?

1

Snap!

Mary Had A Little Boy

Nope

2

The Carpenters

They Long To Be (Close To You)

No but we all have a Carpenters Greatest Hits CD don’t we?

3

INXS

Disappear

Not the single but I have it on something somewhere I think

4

Enigma

Sadness (Part 1)

No

5

John Travolta and Olivia Newton John

Grease Megamix

Negative

6

MC Hammer

Pray

Nah

7

Status Quo

The Anniversary Waltz (Part II)

Are you joking me?

8

Cliff Richard

Saviour’s Day

Hell no!

9

Vanilla Ice

Ice Ice baby

No No baby

10

Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers

The Crazy Party Mixes

And once again Hell no!

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000v4b8/top-of-the-pops-20121990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

IMG_20171129_0001

 

TOTP 13 DEC 1990

And we’re back! After a two week hiatus due to BBC4’s coverage of the snooker, TOTP Rewind is back in the groove as we hoover up the last couple of shows from the year 1990. This episode picks up the story of the year with just 12 days to go until Xmas and I am working my very first Our Price yuletide retail season. Despite being frenziedly busy, I’m enjoying it.

I was working in the Market Street store in Manchester which was a three floor unit (two of them trading) so the number of staff employed there was pretty sizeable – although this was certainly not the case in future years – meaning there was always somebody to chat to. This was especially true if you got yourself to work early. An early arrival you see meant that you could grab yourself a place at the processing table upstairs, set yourself up with a brew and a fag (yes in 1990 you could still smoke in work premises kids!) if so inclined, a stash of stock for processing and settle in for a comfortable day off the counter chatting to your processing neighbour. Hell, if you were really organised, you could commandeer the staff cassette player and relax with some tunes of your choice as well. The store seemed to run itself to a point (or that’s how it seemed to me). There was very little delegation of tasks. If you were a temp (like me) then you were counter fodder whilst the permanent members of staff would only come down if buzzed due to a customer queue build up. Ah yes, the buzzer system. I’m pretty sure it went like this:

1 buzz = it’s busy, help serving required

2 buzzes = management required (refund, swap etc)

3 buzzes = a very attractive woman has entered the shop. Cue a stampede of male staff members rushing down the stairs for a look.

It sounds horrendous to me now but that sort of thing seemed to be much more prevalent and tolerated back in the un PC early 90s. I can honestly say that I never used the three buzzes signal!

Right that’s enough record shop reminiscences for now, back to TOTP and if it’s Xmas it must be Shakin’ Stevens right? Sadly, this was the case as despite it being five years since his Xmas No 1 record “Merry Christmas Everyone”, Shaky still thought it was worth a go bunging a festive ditty out there again. Somebody would buy it wouldn’t they? Apparently so as here is the Welsh Elvis with “The Best Christmas Of Them All”.

This really was bottom of the barrel stuff. Shaky’s chart career had been in decline for a while by this point. This was only his second hit of the calendar year and also only the second time he had made the Top 20 in three years. There would be only a further three Top 40 singles after this one – yet another Xmas effort in 1991, a collaboration with Queen’s Roger Taylor in 1992 and a cover of Pink’s “Trouble” in 2005 which I think was linked to him winning ITV’s entertainment show Hit Me, Baby, One More Time. 

“The Best Christmas Of Them All” was utter crud with Shaky phoning it in over a formulaic 50s honky tonk rhythm and some banal festive lyrics about Santa Claus, Rudolph, presents and peace in the world. Just horrible. He’s backed in this performance by some bizarre looking characters. There’s two fellas dressed as waiters one whom looks like Jason Donovan (if you squint) and the other who seems to have modelled his hairstyle on Francis Rossi of Status Quo. The rest look like they should be down the Queen Vic pub for a right old cockney Xmas knees up except for the drummer – isn’t that Boabby the landlord of The Clansman from Still Game?

“The Best Christmas Of Them All” peaked at No 19.

The most predictable re-release of the year up next as following the phenomenal success of The Righteous Brothers‘ “Unchained Melody” due to its use in Ghost, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” was hastily put out into the market place as a follow up. One of the most recognisable songs of all time (in 1999 it was ranked by performing rights organisation the BMI as the most-played song of the 20th century), this was always going to be a surefire hit all over again and it duly sped up the charts all the way to No 3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DHI-g4Fq4w

I had no idea until now that this track was at the centre of one of the most bizarre chart battles ever back in 1965 when it was first a hit for The Righteous Brothers. Apparently Cilla Black had recorded her take on the song as well and both versions were released in the same week. Cilla hit the front early and maintained a lead over Bobby and Bill until peaking at No 2. with The Righteous Brothers right behind her at No 3. In the heat of the battle for No 1, the US boys were flown into the UK to spend a week promoting their version and it tipped the balance in their favour as they won the battle for top spot with Cilla falling away to No 5. Forget your Oasis V Blur, this was the mother of all chart battles.

As with “Unchained Melody”, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” was also heavily featured in a hit film (albeit a few years previously)…

It’s been covered by just about everybody – aside from Cilla, it’s also been recorded by Dionne Warwick, Elvis and Hall & Oates to name a few. Oh and this lot…

Yazoo? In 1990? What was this all about? I really don’t know and despite searching the internet I can’t find a reason why “Situation” was released in 1990. There was no Best Of compilation to promote (the first Yazoo Greatest Hits album didn’t arrive until 1999) and it wasn’t featured in a film Righteous Brothers style. Originally hurriedly recorded as the B-side to their debut hit “Only You” (the only other song they had was “Don’t Go” which was deemed to good to throw away as a B-side) it was actually released as the duo’s first single in the US and although only a minor hit, on the Billboard Hot 100, it topped the Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart there. This 1990 incarnation was named the Deadline Mix and was produced by French DJ, producer, remixer and label owner Francois Kevorkian and it was he that also produced that original 1982 12″ mix for the US market back in the day.

My abiding memory of the 1990 version is watching a work colleague called Scott getting ribbed mercilessly by the rest of the staff for dancing to it while listening on headphones on the shop stereo after the store had shut for the day. He was really going for it (in silence to the rest of us) before he eventually realised that he had attracted a crowd. Scott’s reaction? “Fuck you, it’s a great track”. Well said Scott.

“Situation ’90” peaked at No 14.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvsOYx8_NyU

Right, who’s this then? Malandra Burrows? Oh yeah, I remember this. In an attempt to prove that it wasn’t just Aussie soap stars that could have chart hits in our country, a star of one of our own soaps was pushed into the world of pop. Malandra played a character called Kathy Glover in Emmerdale (or Emmerdale Farm as it was when she first appeared in it) and by 1990 had been on our screens for about 5 years (her character was called Kathy Merrick by this point). With that established profile, perhaps she was seen as a safe bet for popularity and appeal with UK pop fans?

“Just This Side Of Love” was the song with which she debuted as a pop star and incidentally is also very nearly the same title as the aforementioned Yazoo’s third single release. Apparently the song was actually featured in an Emmerdale plot line as it was sung by Malandra’s character at a village concert. In that respect, it was more Letitia Dean and Paul Medford than Kylie and Jason. Malandra gives a confident performance here and she would go onto release three more singles before the decade was out but none of them made the Top 40.

My abiding memory of this song was that when copies of the 7″ single arrived in store and we opened up the box, they were all damaged in a rather peculiar way as the silver bit in the middle with all the song credits on seemed to have spilt over onto the actual grooves of the record. It was like a thermometer had exploded and there was mercury everywhere.

Oh and that was a terrible pun Simon Mayo on Emmerdale Farm and The Farm. Idiot.

Blimey, these next four songs were leaving it late for a title at the Xmas No1 spot. Breakers they may have been but time was against them if they wanted to get anywhere near the summit of the charts. We start with INXS and “Disappear”. The second single from the band’s “X” album, I always preferred it to the more organic (yes I do sound like a knacker!), frantic “Suicide Blonde”. It was a more polished production and the track had room to breathe  – a good , sold, proper record. The difference between the two reminded me of my feelings towards the U2 singles “Desire” and “All I Want” from “Rattle And Hum”. I guess it was the pop kid in me coming out again.

In the US, “Disappear” was a much bigger hit where it went Top 10 but it was left stranded at No 21 over here. I think it just got lost in the Xmas rush. The fact that it was released a whole three months on from “Suicide Blonde” (and indeed the album) seems like an error of judgement by the record company in hindsight.

The mostly black and white video showcases Michael Hutchence at his lithe, rock god peak. There would be terrible tragedy to come but for the moment, INXS were maintaining their status as one of the world’s top rock acts just nicely than you very much and it would lead to perhaps the band’s ultimate high of performing at Wembley Stadium in July of the following year to a sold-out audience of 74,000 fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKAa20ukR-s

Oh God! Remember this? The Gregorian chant phenomenon? This was truly strange wasn’t it? The Enigma project was the brainchild of producer Michael Cretu who wanted to create a new form of music that didn’t follow the traditional blueprints and that had an added element of mysticism. He found the ingredient he was after in Gregorian chant which he combined with an almost hypnotic, downbeat rhythm and some whispered vocal parts in both French and Latin on the hit “Sadness (Part I)”. Who would have though that those disparate parts would make a huge No 1 record? In the wake of Enigma’s success, a plethora of Gregorian chant albums were suddenly released and became massive sellers. The one I remember the most was called “Canto Gregoriano” by Coro De Monjes Del Monasterio Benedictino de Santo Domingo de Silos. It was a double album but the cassette version came in individual cases which was a bugger to display on the shelves. Cue the sellotape!

Having been a No1 hit all over Europe, it was inevitable that “Sadness (Part I)” would make its way to these shores and indeed it did but with one small difference – for the UK release the title was changed from its original spelling of ‘Sadeness’ to ‘Sadness (Part I)’ dropping an ‘e’ like a late 80s raver. I recall this being pointed out to me by an Our Price colleague called Sarah though I had no idea that it was all to do with the sexual desires of Marquis de Sade! This makes more sense when you realise that the French bits roughly translate to ‘Sade tell me’ (‘Sade dis moi’) and ‘Sade give it to me’ (‘Sade donne moi’). It’s kind of like a Gregorian chant version of “Je t’aime… moi non plus” by Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. Pure filth in other words!

The parent album “MCMXC a.D.” was also a No 1 and a 3 x platinum seller in the UK seller despite neither of the subsequent singles issued from it making the Top 40. Enigma returned in early 1994 with a Top 3 hit in “Return to Innocence” which had a more world music flavour to it and another No 1 album in “The Cross Of Changes” before a dose of diminishing returns set in. Oh and by the way, any idea how long it took before “Sadeness (Part 2)” was released? 26 years! Yes, it wasn’t until their 2016 album “The Fall Of A Rebel Angel” was released that part II came into existence as its lead single. Truly an enigma.

Despite its near iconic status these days, George Michael‘s “Freedom ’90” only achieved a chart high of No 28 in the UK (No 8 in the US). Was it third single from the album syndrome? The Xmas rush? We’ll never know for sure but it does seem a very meagre peak for a song that has had so much written about it over the years. My contribution to the word count (for what its worth) is that clearly George was in turmoil at this point. Legally trying to disentangle himself from record company Sony and artistically trying to free himself of the “Faith” era image, “Freedom ’90” was a statement in more ways than one. Intensely autobiographical charting his career from Wham!…

Heaven knows we sure had some fun, boy
What a kick just a buddy and me (what a kick just a buddy and me)
We had every big-shot good time band on the run, boy
We were living in a fantasy (we were living in a fantasy)

via “Faith”…

I went back home, got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV

and onto a declaration of intent to move away from all that into his next phase as an artist…

But today the way I play the game is not the same, no way
Think I’m gonna get myself happy

The lyrics were backed up by the hard hitting video. After not doing one at all for “Praying For Time” and with something cobbled together off a South Bank Show documentary for second single “Waiting For That Day”, a video was produced for “Freedom ’90” but George refused to appear in it. Instead a quintet of super models (Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Tatjana Patitz, Christy Turlington and Cindy Crawford) were the stars of the show lip synching the lyrics while the storyline literally dismantled George’s “Faith” persona image by image.The iconic jukebox was usurped by a CD player before being blown up whilst the leather jacket was set on fire. Powerful stuff. Michael would use the promo video format to make an even more explosive point when his “Outside” video depicted him dressed as a police officer kissing another male officer in retaliation to his arrest by an undercover police officer for ‘engaging in a lewd act’ in a public toilet in Beverly Hills.

The comments about the “Freedom ’90” video on the songfacts.com website include one which states

‘I have heard that Michael added “90” to the title so that it would not be confused with the song by Wham! with the same title. Yeah, like that would ever happen!’

Well, I can confirm that this did actually happen. How do I know? Because it was me that made that error. Sitting in the staff room at the Our Price store I was working in  I was checking out the official chart rundown in Music Week (the go to trade paper for the UK record industry). Seeing the title “Freedom” against the name George Michael, I had a senior moment (despite being aged just 22 at the time) and exclaimed to my assembled work colleagues ‘Why is “Freedom” by Wham! back in the charts?’. After much guffawing and comments from the assembled throng such as ‘Oh shit, have Wham! broken up?’, I finally realised my mistake. What a schmuck.

The song was covered in 1996 by Robbie Williams to celebrate his emancipation from boy band Take That. I remember looking at the single’s track listing and thinking ‘So there of the four tracks on here, one is a remix, one is an instrumental and one is an interview?! Where are your songs Robbie?’. He would confound me a year later with his mega successful “Life Thru A Lens” album with its five hit singles. Who knew? Well, Guy Chambers probably.

I have no recollection whatsoever of The Carpenters being in the charts again in 1990. I an only assume that the re-release of “(They Long to Be) Close to You” was part of the promotion campaign for greatest hits compilation “Only Yesterday” which was released in 1990. Or was it a cynical Xmas cash in by label A& M as it seems to have been a double A-side with “Merry Christmas, Darling”. Whatever the reason, it was statistically their first UK Top 4 hit since 1978’s “Sweet, Sweet Smile”.

You have to love The Carpenters don’t you? C’mon. This track has been covered by many an artist including Stevie Wonder, Dian Ross and Gwen Guthrie but I also want to give a shout out to Rick Moranis who gamefully took the song on in the film Parenthood

The 1990 release of “(They Long to Be) Close to You” peaked at No 25.

Now then, here comes Seal throwing off his Adamski / “Killer” cocoon to emerge beating his wings as a fully fledged pop star in his own right. “Crazy” sounded like a hit instantly, from the very first time I heard it. Boasting a tight yet atmospheric production courtesy of Trevor Horn, it was packed full of hooks, a propulsive beat and Seal’s soulful vocals tying it all together. It seemed like a great deal of thought had gone into its composition but not in a cynical, let’s just pour all the currently popular ingredients into the pot and see what concoction brews way; it was more organic (there’s that word again!) than that.

It was also the first single from his debut album that appeared 6 months later and which would become a No 1, double platinum seller. Indeed, I bought it myself and I even caught him in concert where he was as confident as he was in this performance. He’s definitely giving off a vibe that says ‘look, being a pop star is the only thing I could possibly do – I have no choice’. Adamski who?

“Crazy” peaked at No 2 , the highest charting single of his career.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSM3psgx6sQ

Oh come on! This is really taking the piss! After Technotronic had released a megamix of their previous hits called…erm…”Megamix” just a few weeks earlier, now Italian house outfit Black Box were jumping on the bandwagon! Ah, but they weren’t totally stealing the idea. Yes, it was a mash up of their previous chart hits just like Technotronic but there’s was called “The Total Mix”  – different eh? See? Bloody snake oil salesmen the lot of them. Oh and you can add Snap! to the list of shysters who released “Mega Mix” the following year.

“The Total Mix” peaked at No 12.

Right, home stretch now as after ten hits that were new to the show, we end with three that we had seen before. We start with Chris Isaak who is up to No 10 this week with “Wicked Game” (it will rise no further however). I have to say that I’ve always admired Chris’s hair  – always immaculate. Only potentially bettered by Mark Ronson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K38ZwN_8crg

What? The music? Oh, well, yes…I liked “Wicked Game” and I think my wife bought the album. So atmospheric was its sound that it was always destined to be used as the soundtrack to a car commercial and director Jeffrey Darling duly delivered in 2001 with this advert for the Jaguar X-Type.

It’s still Vanilla Ice at No 1 with “Ice Ice Baby” and it’s become one of those songs that’s taken on a life of its own way beyond the parameters of its original release. Not convinced? OK, here it is being ‘officially paroled’ on US TV show Glee in 2010…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33vZFEpy4AU

and here’s the song coming full circle with Jedward and Vanilla Ice! Yikes!

Back to 1990 though and could Mr Ice keep all opposition at arm’s length in the battle for the Xmas No 1?*

*SPOILER ALERT!

No he couldn’t – Cliff toppled him at the death obviously

The play out video is Dimples D with “Sucker DJ”. Who was Dimples D? Well, she was only the first female hip hop artist to achieve a No 1 record in Australia. That’s who. As for the phrase ‘Sucker DJ’, well it was used by Cameo in their “Word Up” single. Witness:

Now all you sucker DJ’s
Who think you’re fly
There’s got to be a reason
And we know the reason why

but were Run DMC the true originators with their “Sucker M.C.’s” track back in 1983?

You try to bite lines but rhymes are mine
You’s a sucker M.C. in a pair of Calvin Klein
Comin from the wackiest, part of town
Tryin’ to rap up but you can’t get down

Or was it in fact Dimples D all along…

“Sucker DJ” (the 1990 version) peaked at No 17.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl8GEsW0V1k

Order of appearance Artist Song Did I Buy it?

1

Shakin’ Stevens The Best Christmas Of Them All The word ‘Best’ and Shaky don’t really belong together do they? Of course not!

2

The Righteous Brothers You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ Nope

3

Yazoo Situation ‘90 I did not

4

Malandra Burrows Just This Side Of Love The wrong side though Malandra – no

5

INXS Disappear Not the single but I have it on something somewhere I think

6

Enigma Sadness (Part 1) No

7

George Michael Freedom ‘90 No but I have the Listen Without Prejudice Vol 1 album

8

The Carpenters They Long To Be (Close To You) No but we all have a Carpenters Greatest Hits CD don’t we?

9

Seal Crazy No but I bought the album

10

Black Box The Total Mix Total shit more like – no

11

Chris Isaak Wicked Game I think my wife had the tape of the “Wicked Game” compilation album once upon a time but no idea where it would be now

12

Vanilla Ice Ice Ice baby No No baby

13

Dimples D Sucker DJ Nah

 

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000v4b6/top-of-the-pops-13121990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

 

IMG_20171129_0001

TOTP 13 SEP 1990

September 1990 was a big month for the BBC. After banging on about the bringing back of The Generation Game in my last post, Auntie Beeb had another big happening for the second week running as on the very day this TOTP was broadcast, it showed the 1000th episode of Neighbours! Yes, the Aussie soap that had the nation fascinated by the goings on in Ramsey Street and that made household names (and pop stars) out of Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue (more of whom later) had reached this massive milestone in what seemed to be a short amount of time. In fact, it had been on the BBC since October 1986 so just under four years but that still doesn’t seem like much time for 1000 episodes. What’s that, 250 per year? So nearly four shows a week? How many episodes of Coronation Street and Eastenders were on our screens per week back then? Anyway, for what it’s worth, the 1000th episode concerned the engagement party of Des and Jane (or ‘Plain Jane Super Brain’ to give her full title) which is gatecrashed by Jane’s old squeeze Mike who’s not too keen on the whole idea of them getting hitched. And yes, I had to look all of that up – I’d long since stopped watching the show by 1990.

Appropriately for Mike’s dramatic entrance to confront Des and Jane, the first song of the night is entitled “I’ve Been Thinking About You” by Londonbeat. You all remember this lot right? They’d had a Top 20 hit back in 1988 with an almost a cappella song called “9 A.M. (The Comfort Zone)” but had been absent from the Top 40 since despite a nice enough follow up single called “Failing in Love Again” which I’d quite liked. “I’ve Been Thinking About You” however was nothing like either of those two tracks. This was…well…danceable but with a pop sensibility (that’s what the music journalists say isn’t it?). It also had that lodge-in-your-brain guitar riff running through it that people found hard to resist. The result? By far the band’s biggest ever hit. It was even a No 1 in the US (although it peaked just short of that at No 2 in the UK) and was a hit pretty much everywhere else. This was all fairly surprising stuff for a band who had a pretty small track record of success. To come back out of nowhere with a No 2 single was as impressive as it was unexpected. Apparently the song had been recorded in demo form as way back as 1987 but the band’s record label advised them to hold it back for release until they were more established. Seems they knew what they were talking about.

I’m not sure I made this connection at the time but two of the vocalists in the group had been the backing singers with Paul Young on his “Secret Of Association” album and tour and had also appeared with him at Live Aid. However, it’s not them that catch the eye in this performance. It’s hard not to keep staring at guitarist Willy M (real name William Henshall). I think it’s a combination of his stage presence and image. That floppy blonde hair and shades was an unusual look back then and I don’t think it’s any less unusual now. He’s also pretty tall and gangly and seems to love the attention this affords him. His twangy guitar solo allows him to take centre stage which he milks for all it’s worth. He’s now a neuroscience based technologist/inventor (according to his Twitter bio) living in LA.

As for me, I wasn’t overly enamoured by “I’ve Been Thinking About You” and actually preferred their follow up single “A Better Love” but I have to admit, there were a lot worse records in the charts at that time.

It’s back to back appearances for Janet Jackson and her latest single “Black Cat“. Obviously it’s the video again which is basically footage of Janet performing the song in concert. Dressed in a white top and black trousers and with her dark hair at that length, if you squint you could almost believe that was her brother Michael up there on stage – pretty sure one of his latter stage looks was very similar plus you could really imagine him singing “Black Cat”. It’s not a million miles away from the likes of “Dirty Diana”.

Supposedly “Black Cat” was very influential on Alanis Morissette in terms of the transition from her early pop career to the edgy rock sound of the “Jagged Little Pill” album whilst it has been covered by the likes of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. Indeed, Alanis herself performed it while part of Canadian band The New York Fries. As for Janet, she would release a seventh and final single from her “Rhythm Nation 1814” album before disappearing to record the multi platinum selling follow up “Janet” which would see the light of day in 1993.

Tonight’s presenter is Gary Davies who finally has a sensible haircut after all those mullets in the 80s but being shorn of some locks hasn’t reduced his Samson like power for patronising, casual sexism. While introducing Sonia he describes her and her record -breaking single “End Of The World” thus:

“She’s the only British girl to have her first five singles go into the Top 20”.

Girl Gary? You couldn’t have said ‘woman’ or even ‘female singer’.? I know you she was only 19 at the time but that’s still very much adulthood isn’t it? Am I being too PC, too easily offended on Sonia’s behalf? Maybe nobody batted an eyelid back then but it just jarred a bit whilst watching this back in 2021.

I have to admit I’m not sure I was aware that Sonia was a record breaker. They should have got her on Record Breakers with Roy Castle. Was it still on in 1990? In my mind’s eye it’s a 70s TV show. Those of us who can recall it will surely remember the theme tune with its ‘if you’re the fattest, the thinnest’ lyric. Now that really was politically incorrect. Makes Gary Davies look positively broad minded.

The return of INXS next. After the massive commercial success of their sixth album “Kick” towards the end of the 80s, the band had taken a sabbatical to work on other projects. Michael Hutchence threw his energies into the mystifying Max Q project whilst other band members took time out to work on side projects such as producing other artists. By the start of the new decade, they had reconvened to set about recording a follow up to “Kick” and the expectation to repeat the trick after their global commercial breakthrough must have been immense. “X” (named to commemorate the 10th year of the band’s existence) saw them pretty much pull it off. Despite selling only half of what its predecessor did, it still shifted 10 million units worldwide and contained a clutch of hit singles. “Suicide Blonde” was the first of those and despite the blues harp intro on the track, it didn’t sound too different to their “Kick” era to me.

And what was it all about? Well here’s @TOTPFacts with the answer and making good on my earlier promise of more Kylie:

Hutchence and Kylie had gone public about their relationship in November 1989 and were still a couple at this point I think. How Kylie’s ex Jason Donovan felt about it all I’m not sure – maybe he pulled a Mike from Neighbours style confrontation with the pair at Hutchence’s 30th birthday party bash back in January of that year. Maybe not.

I must admit that I thought that following Hutchence’s tragic demise in November 1997 that we would never hear “Suicide Blonde” played on the radio ever again but I was wrong. Not only does it continue to be played but INXS themselves continued to perform the song in concert after Michael’s death. This next bit is spooky though – “Suicide Blonde” was the last song that he performed live. It was the closing number at the final INXS show before his death at a concert in Burgettstown, Pennsylvania on September 27, 1997.

“Suicide Blonde” peaked at No 11.

Despite me not being the biggest dance music fan in the world, I always liked this next track. In fact, to say that 1990 seems to have been full of cruddy, half-baked dance tunes, we’ve seen a few very creditable examples of the genre in recent weeks. Deee-Lite, The Soup Dragons and now this lot…Bass-O-Matic with “Fascinating Rhythm”. These genuine one-hit wonders, like every act producing dance music in 1990 it seemed, came from Sheffield and included producer legend William Orbit in their ranks.

I don’t know what it was about this tune but it just really appealed to me. It seemed quite melodic I guess for an out and out dance track and it had some hook laden samples in there as well. I’m not sure if it was still in the charts by the time I started in Our Price in Manchester a few weeks after this but “Fascinating Rhythm” always reminds me of that time. Happy days.

There’s just time for Gary Davies to fluff his outro for Bass-O-Matic (“That’s gone up…err.. a lot this week” he states clearly forgetting his basic chart numbers) before we’re onto The KLF . For a band who wanted to expose the cynical workings of the music industry, they sure seemed happy to play the game when it came to TOTP. I think this is the third time they’ve been on with with “What Time Is Love” isn’t it? Or maybe their appearances were proving some sort of point that I’m not quite getting. To be fair to them, I think this is just a reshowing of a previous performance rather than an actual new studio appearance.

The band made headlines again in 2021 despite leaving the music business nearly 30 years ago when they finally relented to letting their back catalogue be made officially available on streaming services such as Spotify and Apple Music. During my Our Price years, one of the most sought after import CD was that of their “White Room” album which was deleted along with all their other output back in 1992. Said import was bloody expensive too as I recall. I guess that was them having the final laugh in their grand plan to expose the music industry. So why the sudden Tory-esque U-turn? The band’s official YouTube page put out this statement:

“KLF have appropriated the work done between 1 January 1987 and 31 December 1991 by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, The Timelords [and] The KLF. This appropriation was in order to tell a story in five chapters using the medium of streaming. The name of the story is Samplecity Thru Transcentral. If you need to know more about the work done by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, The Timelords or The KLF, you can find truths, rumours and half-truths scattered across the internet. From these truths, rumours and half-truths, you can form your own opinions. The actual facts were washed down a storm drain in Brixton some time in the late 20th Century.”

Future No 1 incoming! One of the year’s most unlikely chart toppers came from Maria McKee. I suppose her rise to the top was similar to that of Sinéad O’Connor in the unexpected stakes. Maria was, of course, the lead singer of country rockers Lone Justice until they split in 1987. I’d always quite liked their sound and my wife had even been to seem them live (at Newcastle’s Riverside venue I think). However, her solo career had not been a success and her 1989 debut self titled album had tanked commercially. Suddenly, from out of nowhere seemingly, she was back in the charts with a powerful yet tender ballad called “Show Me Heaven”. How had this happened? Well, it was all down to film soundtracks again. Yes, after having already seen the effect Pretty Woman and it soundtrack had on generating hit singles and revitalising the careers of seemingly forgotten pop acts, the UK public saw that commercial force unleashed once more. This time it was due to the Tom Cruise flick Days Of Thunder, the soundtrack of which included “Show Me Heaven”.

Maria’s live performance here was very affecting and no doubt helped to propel the song up the charts. Maria herself thought so anyway:

Inevitably, following the success of ‘Show Me Heaven”, McKee’s debut album was re-released but crucially it did not contain that song. Cue a queue of disgruntled punters wanting their money back in record shops across the land. At the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester where I started, there was a huge promotional poster for that album on the wall in the staff kitchen. Some wag on the staff wrote ‘she’s got such amazing grace’ on it.

It’s a new No 1! Yes! Mallett has been toppled and is gone, banished to the nightmares of those of us who lived through his time. In his place is…oh…the Steve Miller Band. Well, perhaps not the most exciting act and song but I’d have accepted pretty much anything instead of Bombalurina at this point. “The Joker” was of course back in the charts due to its inclusion in a Levi’s ad. So popular were the adverts that a compilation album of all the songs used in them was put together and released in 1991 featuring the likes of The Clash, Percy Sledge, Ben E King and of course Steve Miller Band. It was called “The Levi’s 501 Hits (Originals Stand The Test Of Time)” and it sold well enough to spawn a second volume. Like The KLF’s back catalogue (until this year) it is now very much deleted.

The play out video is “Epic” by Faith No More. I think this was the first song of theirs which really made me sit up and take note of them a bit more seriously. The chorus on it is a monster (you might even say ‘epic’ but obviously I wouldn’t be so…erm…obvious). I was never going to fully commit myself to funk metal (or whatever it was) but this certainly made me think twice. There’s even a gentle piano outro at the end just to add to the intrigue. Sadly for Faith No More, they are probably best known in the UK by non fans as that band who did a completely straight cover of “Easy” by The Commodores for no discenible reason.

“Epic” peaked at No 25.

Fo posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

If you really want to watch the whole show over, somebody has helpfully added it in its entirety to YouTube. Fill your boots!

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1LondonbeatI’ve Been Thinking About YouBut I didn’t think about buying this
2Janet JacksonBlack CatDon’t think I did
3SoniaEnd Of The WorldNo
4INXSSuicide BlondeNo but I’ve got it on their Best Of
5Bass-O-MaticFascinating RhythmCould have but didn’t
6The KLFWhat Time Is Love (Live At Trancentral”Nope
7Maria McKeeShow Me HeavenNah
8Steve Miller BandThe JokerIt’s a no
9Faith No MoreEpicI was intrigued but not committed – no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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