TOTP 05 OCT 1995

We’ve entered October with these TOTP repeats and three days before this show aired, an album hit the shops that would prove to be a landmark release in UK music history. “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” by Oasis would shift 345,000 copies in its first week and spend 10 weeks at No 1 on the album chart in total. It would eventually go 17 x platinum in the UK alone and win a Brit award for Best British Album. It even broke through in America going to No 4 over there selling 4 million copies in the process. It spawned two chart topping singles and two No 2s. In short, it was a monster, a phenomenon even. After the Battle of Britpop in the Summer that had put record shops at the heart of the national news, this album was a slam dunk off the back of it for the takings of stores across the country. It sold and sold and sold and then it sold some more. It sold more than any other album in the entire decade that was the 90s. Whether you liked it or not, you couldn’t ignore it.

Something else that you couldn’t ignore but it would be hard to like are the comedy characters dished up for our entertainment by tonight’s ‘golden mic’ hosts Hale & Pace. So, I have questions. To start with, why were these two on the show in the first place? Well, the eighth* series of their TV comedy series was just about to air but that was on ITV so it can’t have been seen as an opportunity to plug one of the Beeb’s shows.

*I know! Eight! They even did a couple more before it came to an end in 1998.

Was it just that they had these characters Jed & Dave who were like the stoned rocker versions of Smashie & Nicey and so executive producer Ric Blaxill took a lazy decision to get them in as guest presenters? It certainly wasn’t anything to do with Comic Relief as we’d already had that in March. Whatever the reason, they were in the TOTP studio and were ready to annoy!

There may not be any of the aforementioned Oasis on tonight’s show but there is certainly some Britpop. We start with Sleeper who are just getting into their stride with their third and biggest hit of 1995 with “What Do I Do Now?”. The lead single from their second album “The It Girl” which would be released the following May, it built on the success and sound of previous chart entries “Inbetweener” and “Vegas” but if anything was even more radio friendly. With that sophomore album not making an appearance until well into the following year, its subsequent success would mean that Sleeper were never as big as they were in 1996. “The It Girl” would go Top 5 and sell 300,000 copies in the UK spawning four Top 20 hits including two No 10s.

The performance here seems to me to cement Louise Wener’s position as one of the faces of Britpop and what a face! Wide eyed innocence, wrapped up in knowing coyness and a smile that you knew meant she’d be the best person to have a laugh with down the pub. I caught Sleeper live at the Manchester Academy in 1996 and they were pretty good as I remember. I went with my mate Steve and I have a clear memory of him grooving away to “What Do I Do Now?” which was way more entertaining than anything Hale & Pace served up on this TOTP.

Oh come on! How many times is this now that Smokie and RoyChubbyBrown have been on the show? I think this is the third already. The success of “Who The F**k Is Alice?” was absolutely baffling to me. Were there really people up and down the country whom, having bought the single, took it home, put it on their stereo system, pressed play and then listened to it waiting for the chance to shout out “Alice? Who the f**k is Alice?!” at the top of the voices and then chuckling to themselves?! I guess there were mobile DJs who bought it and would play it at a birthday do they’d been booked for. That might account for some sales but this single stank out the charts for a total of 14 weeks on the Top 40 including 8 within the Top 10. It spent 9 consecutive weeks without once going down the charts. Surely wedding DJs can’t have accounted for all those sales?! And where was the outcry from the press about this record ?! Sure, it couldn’t be played on the radio unless it was a bleeped version but I don’t recall the papers in a meltdown about this youth corrupting filth. No, they were too busy getting their knickers in a twist about another chart hit but more of that later.

By the way, Hale & Pace’s intro with one of them (I never did know which one was which) getting lifted in the air on a wire really wasn’t worth setting up as the punchline for a limp play on words. Give me Cheryl Baker instead any day…

Some West Coast hip-hop next from Cypress Hill. As a pop kid, this lot were never really going to be my bag though I did quite like their previous hits “Insane In The Brain” and “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That”. This one – “Throw Your Set In The Air” – was the lead single from their third album “III: Temples Of Boom” but I have to say I don’t remember it. Cypress Hill were one of those ‘parental advisory explicit lyrics’ sticker artists which meant we weren’t supposed to play them on the shop stereo in the Our Price store I was working in at the time. Consequently, I was never that familiar with their work. I knew the album covers of such artists better than their songs due to the fact that the CD and cassette inlays were so nickable that we would keep them behind the counter and put a temporary, generic inlay out on the shop racks. This was in the days before the stock was security tagged and out on the shop floor live as it were. Rather pathetically, the hip-hop/rap artists would most likely be pinched by middle class white kids pretending they were from the hood (or something).

Another contrived yet duff intro from Hale & Pace about going metric and rhyming ‘a litre’ with Oleta ushers in the return of Oleta Adams. Yes, I was surprised to see her on the show again too. In my head, she had one massive hit single in the early 90s with her version of Brenda Russell’s “Get Here” (the success of which also catapulted her album “Circle Of One” to the top of the charts) and then nothing. This was plainly not the case though. Exhibit A, m’lud – “Never Knew Love”. The lead single from her “Moving On” album, its sound was nothing like the balladeering of “Get Here” but rather a competent if unremarkable R&B track – Oleta had indeed ‘moved on’.

Of course, I should have remembered earlier that in addition to “Get Here”, Oleta had added her considerable voice to the Tears For Fears hit “Woman In Chains” back in late 1989. By a pleasing quirk of fate, TFF were back in the UK Top 40 nine places below Oleta this week with their single “Raoul And The Kings Of Spain”. However, by this point, Curt Smith had left the band and it was essentially a Roland Orzabal solo track. By the way, I’m pretty sure that’s Shirley Lewis on backing vocals in this performance who was married to Luke Goss of Bros fame for 23 years before splitting in 2017. She clearly did “Drop The Boy” though I have no idea if there is any truth that Luke said of the divorce settlement “I Owe You Nothing”. I know – I’m looking for my coat as I type.

After their first appearance in the TOTP studio since 1980 the other week, Iron Maiden are back on the show again though clearly the experience scarred them as they have put a distance of approximately 3,000 miles between them and London for this second performance of “Falling Down”. Obviously, that’s not the reason – they’d played a gig in Jerusalem and then travelled to the ancient fortification of Masada to record this footage. It’s a stunning backdrop and is another example of the show’s executive producer Ric Blaxill’s vision of taking the satellite performances away from empty concert halls and giving them landmark locations instead.

However, I’m not sure that the helicopter views aid the song. It just makes the band seem small, inconsequential and rather silly against such a massive vista. I’ll leave the final word on this though to a Twitter user who posted this rather sage observation:

Robbie Williams wasn’t the only high profile departure from a successful five piece group in 1995. Louise Nurding left Eternal amid unsubstantiated rumours that a prominent US radio station dedicated to music made by black artists wouldn’t promote an interracial group. Rather obviously, a solo career beckoned and after a small rebrand (Nurding possibly wasn’t the best name for a pop star), Louise emerged with her debut single “Light Of My Life”. Now, I remember this as being a huge ballad but hearing it back, it’s quite a slight thing really. Written by Simon Climie of Climie Fisher fame, it never really gets going despite all those strings in the mix trying to beef it up. More 40 watt bulb than incandescent theatre spotlight. Watching this performance, Louise’s miming doesn’t seem very convincing somehow. Not that she’s out of sync or forgets the words or anything like that but just it all seems a little artificial – most strange.

Louise would go onto have a procession of hits including nine Top Tenners and two platinum selling albums. I know, I wouldn’t have believed it either if I hadn’t read it for myself. She would shed the girl next door image and then some by the time of her hit “Naked” but that’s for a future post. Let’s not get to that point too quickly (ahem).

And so to the hit that the British press couldn’t turn a blind eye to as they seemed to be able to with “Who The F**k Is Alice?”. Pulp’s double A-side single “Mis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s And Whizz” had careered into the UK charts at No 2 – we’d seen the band perform “Mis-shapes” on TOTP two weeks earlier as an exclusive preview. However, it was the second song that had caused controversy. Now, clearly its title contained some rather in your face drug’s references but that didn’t seem to bother the BBC as Jarvis Cocker is allowed to sing the lyrics without any censure* in this show.

*I think they may have shortened the title to just “Sorted” for the caption on that performance of “Mis-Shapes” though it is restored to its full, corrupting glory here.

And why would he have? If you listen to the lyrics, Jarvis isn’t pro recreational drugs but rather he’s pointing out what a hollow experience it ultimately is; that it’s just an artificially induced high and that the comedown can be brutal. He was writing from personal experience of attending raves and taking Ecstasy but at no point does he condone drug taking. The actual song title had come from something a girl he knew had said about going to see the Stone Roses at Spike Island in 1990. All she could recall of it was loads of dodgy looking geezers going around asking people if they were sorted for E’s and Whizz. Talking of the Roses, Pulp stood in for them at that year’s Glastonbury at the last minute whilst I myself was working in the Our Price store in Stockport alongside the late and very great Pete Garner who was their original bass player. I distinctly recall Pete saying that he couldn’t believe that Pulp had got away with releasing a single called “Sorted For E’s And Whizz”.

However, one newspaper in particular was determined to publish a story of outrage about the song and so turned their attention to the CD single’s cover which included an illustration of how to fold a speed wrap (though it doesn’t mention anything about it being used for that purpose in the text). The Daily Mirror went all in on this “sick stunt” as they called it with the article being written by one Kate Thornton later of X Factor fame. Here’s @TOTPFacts with the details:

DJ Neil Fox jumped on the bandwagon and refused to play it on his show and in the end, the band pulled the artwork and replaced it with something non controversial. With echoes of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s “Relax”, all the press attention just increased sales of the single. Jarvis used both these TOTP appearances to make wry observations on all the fuss. In the “Mis-Shapes” performance, he channels his inner Bob Geldof and reads a copy of the Daily Mirror with that front cover during the middle eight and in this one, he finishes the song by producing an origami bird sculpture. Nicely done Jarvis.

One of the most interesting hits of the year now as we get Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave with “Where The Wild Roses Grow”. Everybody at the time was talking about how had this duet come about, so unlikely was the pairing – Cave, the gothic Prince of doomy art rock with the intimidatingly deep voice and Kylie, the Princess of Pop. Really though, there was no great story behind it. They were both Aussies and Nick really liked Kylie and so he wrote a song for her. Well, I say ‘liked’ but in his own words Cave described himself as having:

“…a quiet obsession with her for about six years.”

Jenkins, Jeff; Meldrum, Ian (2007). Molly Meldrum presents 50 Years of Rock in Australia. Melbourne, Vic: Wilkinson Publishing. p. 227. ISBN 978-1-921332-11-1.

Hmm. Doesn’t sound like the best starting point for a friendship but still. The song he came up with after a few ‘inappropriate” (his words again not mine) attempts was a murder ballad, that dark sub genre of the ballad form that told the narrative of a crime and (usually) gruesome death. I suppose that wasn’t your typical subject matter for a chart hit in 1995. However, it was quite brilliant – haunting, disturbing and yet beautifully melodic with both singers telling their version of the story superbly in tandem. It wasn’t just their differing musical backgrounds that made the duet so curious (though Kylie was well into her first career transformation from perceived SAW puppet to dance diva by this point) but their physical appearance. Cave has naturally…erm…striking (?) looks whilst Kylie has those fine, beautiful features but then there’s also the height difference – it really shouldn’t have worked but it absolutely did.

Around fifteen years after this TOTP performance, I did my own version of “Where The Wild Roses Grow” in a guitar class I was attending at the time, as a duet with a fellow student called Lisa. It even got recorded by the teacher. If only I could work out how to get it embedded into this post…

Simply Red are No 1 again with “Fairground” and this is already the third time in four weeks that it’s featured on the show. Mick Hucknall is, by all accounts, a massive…wait for it…Man United fan (you thought I was going to say something different then didn’t you?!) so no doubt he would have been delighted that his beloved team beat Liverpool in the FA Cup quarter final on Sunday just gone. Somebody who wasn’t impressed was my Hucknall despising mate Robin who texted me at the final whistle to say that United’s victory was the “footballing equivalent of a new Simply Red album”. I was just glad the result stopped Liverpool’s pursuit of a quadruple and thereby putting a spoke in the wheel of the media’s Jürgen Klopp love in. Jürgen Klopp…now he really is a “bleep” to quote Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1SleeperWhat Do I Do NowLiked it, didn’t buy it
2Smokie and Roy ‘Chubby’ BrownWho The F**k Is Alice?Away with you!
3Cypress HillThrow Your Set In The AirI did not
4Oleta AdamsNever Knew LoveNah
5Iron MaidenFalling DownNope
6LouiseLight Of My LifeNo
7PulpMis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s And WhizzNo but I had the album Different Class with them on
8Nick Cave and Kylie MinogueWhere The Wild Roses GrowNo but I sang it!
9Simply RedFairgroundNever!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wsmh/top-of-the-pops-05101995?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 21 SEP 1995

What Edward Woodward said! A reader of the blog tipped me off that this TOTP show was near and that I should be scared. I am and so should you be. Nothing to do with the music (though nearly all of it is frightening enough itself). No, the reason for my terror is that this is the Simon Mayo rhyming links episode! I’ve said many times when reviewing these TOTP repeats how I can’t abide the smug git and this week he seems to be deliberately trying to tip me over the edge. I don’t think we’ve seen him for a while as there have been a number of ‘golden mic’ presenters of late but now he was back and more annoying than ever. Before Mayo gets started on his inane practice of rhyming segues, we get the direct to camera piece at the top of the show which this week comes from Iron Maiden who are introducing their new lead singer Blaze Bayley after original vocalist Bruce Dickinson left in 1993.

More of them later though. We start, unfortunately, with Mayo who is to be known for tonight as ‘Rhymin’ Simon’ according to the TOTP caption. OK, well first of all, that doesn’t rhyme properly does it?! I think what I’ll do is give marks for each of his rhymes at the end of each act. That OK with you? Good.

Ah there’s lovely. It’s those two smashing, wholesome guys The Outhere Brothers! Veritable pillars of society that pair. Only kidding – the dirty mouthed duo more like. After, two consecutive UK No 1s (how?!!), the purveyors of filth are back with a third hit in “La La La Hey Hey”. It’s as insubstantial as its title hints at. Yet another call and response track, this one resorts to the lowest common denominator with its ‘lyrics’. They might have well have just grunted.

As with their previous hits, the version performed here appears to be the radio edit with any offending words removed. The full track includes a rap which bangs on about keeping “the pressure on the pecker”, “slapping her with a 1-2 checker” and of course a fairly gratuitous “mother f****r”. Just for good measure they slip in the line “Honeys shake ya booty all around”. I say once again, there’s lovely. “La La La Hey Hey” failed to make it a hat trick of chart toppers when it peaked at No 7. One more thing, why have they got the cast of Fame on stage with them?

Mayo’s Meter: “Hello, good evening, better lock up your mothers cos we’re kicking off with The Outhere Brothers

Verdict: Surely the phrase is ‘lock up your daughters’? Poor – 5/10

Right what’s this? Well, it’s another dance tune of course. I intentionally asked “what’s this?” rather than “who’s this?” as the name of the artist for such 90s hits wasn’t really relevant a lot of the time. The ‘artist’ was usually a producer, remixer or DJ who just needed a pseudonym to use for promotional purposes. That was the case with Umboza who were actually house duo Stuart Crichton and Michael Kilkie. Based entirely around the hook from Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long”, it’s basically that sample with a house beat added over the top. That’s it. The paucity of the track and the lack of a proper artist was always a problem for TOTP when it came to a performance on the show which was warranted by its chart position. Here, it’s just four dancers who could be anybody. There aren’t even the anonymous DJ types in the background on a keyboard, there’s just some bloke on a congo drum. There also seem to be some peripheral dancers to the side of the stage one of whom looks suspiciously like a pre-fame Claire from Steps. I can’t work out if these people are part of the act or the studio audience. The only thing that separates this from being a performance by Pan’s People or Legs & Co from the 70s and 80s is when one of the dancers emerges from the throng with a microphone to mumble something or other.

The track is called “Cry India” which is initially confusing given the African sounding Lionel Richie sample its based around. However, those ‘African’ lyrics below were just made up gibberish according to Lionel so they could be as much Indian as African.

Tam bo li de say de moi ya

Hey Jambo Jumbo

Songwriters: Lionel B. Jr. Richie
All Night Long (All Night) lyrics © Chyna Baby Music, Brockman Music, Yfn Lucci Llc, Tig7 Publishing Llc

“Cry India” was a No 19 hit and was followed by “Sunshine” which was based on “Bamboléo” by Gipsy Kings. Bah! Umboza? I’d rather have Umbongo!

Mayo’s Meter: “I’ll be rhyming my links for the rest of the show, there’s Pulp and Iron Maiden raring to go. There’s Mariah and Janet and Vince the composer but new at 19, all dancing Umboza!”

Verdict: He manages to give some teasers for who’s on the show tonight but ‘Vince the composer’?! He means Vince Clarke from Erasure – he does realise they’re a duo doesn’t he? Where’s Andy Bell in that link? And a composer? Songwriter surely is a better description? Very weak – 4/10

The first video of the night is one we’ve already seen before. “Runaway” by Janet Jackson was one of two songs recorded to promote her Best Of album “Design Of A Decade: 1986-1996”. Interestingly, although she’d left her original label A&M in 1991 and signed for Virgin releasing the multi million selling “Janet” with them, she was open to working with her former label to take her first compilation album to market. So reciprocal was the relationship that “Design Of A Decade” included two of the singles from that Virgin album.

“Runaway” though was a new track which had originally been identified as a potential duet with brother Michael but in the end the two decided to unite on “Scream” instead which was the lead single from the “HIStory: Past, Present And Future, Book 1” collection. The promo for the song is pure fantasy nonsense with Janet taking a global trip and appearing next to some of the world’s most recognisable landmarks. At one point, she and her entourage perform a choreographed dance routine on the wing of a plane. Perhaps the most striking image from the whole thing though is Janet’s nose ring and chain which is attached to her braided hair. For all the controversy over Michael’s image throughout his career, even he never went for that particular look.

Mayo’s Meter: “There was an old woman called Janet, went hopping all over the planet. Her brother, she didn’t tell, which was just as well, cos if Michael was in the vid, we’d ban it”.

Verdict: Another nonsensical link. An ‘old woman’? Janet was 29 years old when this single was released! Also, what is this about banning the video if Michael was in it? Sure, the first child abuse accusations had been made against the singer by this point but that hadn’t stopped the BBC from showing his videos. Indeed, Jacko had been No 1 for the last two weeks during which the show played his promo. Make it make sense. Either that or get Mayo to stop. Please! 3/10

Had there ever been a worst opening three acts in the TOTP studio than this?! The Outhere Brothers, Umbozo and now Smokie featuring RoyChubbyBrown!

Novelty (s)hit “Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice?)” is now in the Top 10 proving yet again that you just couldn’t trust the record buying public to make sensible decisions. In this case, they even doubled down on its stupidity by not just buying this version of the bastardised song but also the original* of it by Dutch band Gompie. Twice over! Yes, Gompie initially got there first and had a hit in Europe including the UK with “Alice (Who The X Is Alice?) in June of 1995 peaking at No 34 and then, after the success of the Smokie / Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown version, re-entered the chart reaching No 17. Again, I refer you to Edward Woodward.

*Not the ‘original’ original obviously – I know that was the non-sweary version by Smokie which got to No 5 in 1977.

Mayo’s Meter: “From the dark mists of time an old band called Smokie with Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown who’s a bit of a blokie. Now, they’re singing about this woman called Alice, they’re not going down unlike Crystal Palace”

Verdict: Where do I start?! How about with ‘blokie’. Come on! It’s a terrible rhyme and rather underplays Brown’s offensive act. I’m know it was the era of lads culture but still. Then there’s the ‘going down’ comment. Was that Mayo getting away with something he shouldn’t have by deflecting with a football reference? And what about that reference – was it accurate even? Well, it’s true that Pslace were relegated from the Premier League in 1994/95 but this show was in September when the new season had started. Palace finished third in the First division (now Championship) and were promoted. Try again Mayo – 2/10

At last! Some decent music! After finally securing that elusive massive hit in “Common People” earlier in the year, expectations were now ludicrously high for a Pulp follow up. Jarvis and co didn’t disappoint. Indeed, not only did they meet those expectations but exceeded them with not one but two new songs by releasing a double A-side single. “Mis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s & Wizz” was a brilliant precursor for the band’s iconic “Different Class” album which appeared in the shops at the end of October. Now there was always going to be some outrage about one of those songs given its title but I can see from the BBC4 schedule that Pulp are due back on TOTP in a couple of shows time to perform that track so this week I can just talk about “Mis-Shapes”.

A Cocker-declared anthem for the social outcasts, it was written from very personal experience – Jarvis talked openly about fearing a beating from the ‘townies and beer monsters’ to be found in Sheffield city centre on a Saturday night just because they didn’t like his jacket/trousers/haircut. The lyrics are a call to arms for those demonised as weird and made to feel like a misfit with the title a chocolate themed metaphor. And it works. Lyrics that tell a relatable story combined with a stomping chorus that really gallops along…what’s not to like? Well, Jarvis had some objections and has gone a bit cold on the song subsequently – indeed, it wasn’t included on their 2002 “Hits” collection. I’m sure he wasn’t complaining when the single entered the charts at No 2 though, matching the peak of “Common People”.

Mayo’s Meter: “And now it’s the time we’re going to get to an exclusive, about this band, ooh, we get all effusive. They’re gonna make you swallow, they’re gonna make you gulp, would you welcome please…Pulp”

Verdict: Well, ‘exclusive’ and “effusive’ is a decent rhyme and I guess there aren’t too many words that rhyme with Pulp but it’s Mayo so I can only give him so much credit – 5/10

Two hits on the trot now that we’ve seen before starting with “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey. We may have we seen it before but that doesn’t stop the TOTP producers just giving us the same satellite performance clip that we got first time around. As if that wasn’t enough, they try to kid us that this is still some sort of big deal by emblazoning the caption ‘via satellite’ all over it at the start of the song. Come on! We’re not that daft!

Mayo’s Meter: “I wondered lonely as a cloud, I saw a woman all beautiful and hairy; I said ‘Hang on, I know you, you’re that popular Mariah Carey”

Verdict: This is just awful. Who describes a woman with long hair as hairy?! Worse than that though, he brings Wordsworth into his nonsense! 2/10

And so we arrive at that well known synth pop duo ‘Vince the composer’ and the other guy (i.e. Erasure) who are back in the TOTP studio for a second time to perform their single “Stay With Me”. Taken from their eponymously titled seventh album, this was the point when their commercial fortunes started to tail off. Of those previous six studio albums, the last four had all topped the charts as did their first Best Of, 1992’s “Pop! The First 20 Hits”. “Erasure” (the album) would peak at No 14 with neither of the singles released from it making the Top 10. Maybe Andy and Vince had had enough of churning out the hits and wanted to experiment with their sound a bit. Certainly that’s what the press reviews seemed to make of the album – experimental and contemplative. Apart from the opening intro, all of the tracks were over five and a half minutes in length – the longest clicked in at a towering 10:01! Three minute pop songs? Pah! The album version of “Stay With Me” is nearly seven minutes long but clearly we get the shortened single edit here. Truncated or not, it’s still a decent song.

Mayo’s Meter: “Now a former exclusive as I’m sure that you know, a band who are lauded wherever they go. In Europe, America and of course Asia, err…get your rubbers out and welcome Erasure!”

Verdict: Woeful. Who welcomes anybody with a rubber (yes I get the pun!) unless you are a rubber/eraser salesman attending an industry conference and you are greeted with a welcome pack of them. Maybe. Of course, when I was at school, a ‘rubber’ was short for something else which I’m sure Vince and Andy wouldn’t have wanted to be welcomed by! 3/10

Here’s the band that did the to camera piece at the top of the show. Iron Maiden hadn’t released any new material since 1992’s “Fear Of The Dark” album and in the intervening years had lost their lead singer Bruce Dickinson who left in 1993 to pursue a solo career. After a lengthy audition process, Blaze Bayley was recruited from fellow heavy metallers Wolfsbane – Bayley co-wrote this single “Man On The Edge”. Inspired by the excellent Michael Douglas film Falling Down, it sounds like standard Iron Maiden fare to my admittedly non-fan ears despite the presence of the newbie. Is it just me or does he look a bit like comedian Ross Noble with that long hair and sideburns? Bayley would stay with the band until 1999 at which point Dickinson rejoined.

Mayo’s Meter: “Now this lot haven’t been on since the year ‘81, they’re good heavy rockers, just here to have fun. They’re called Iron Maiden with new man Blaze Bayley, so why not annoy the neighbours and play it twice daily”

Verdict: Is that factually accurate? Iron Maiden hadn’t been on the show since 1981? Of course not (they had a No 1 in 1991 so they must have featured at least once) but I guess Mayo means in the actual TOTP studio rather than a promo video. However, according to the TOTP archive website, Mayo is still wrong as their last such appearance was in 1980 not 1981. 5/10 (points docked for inaccuracy)

It’s a new No 1 and a second UK chart topper of his career for Shaggy. Cards on the table, I’ve never liked anything this guy has done and “Boombastic” wasn’t anything like an exception. I hated all his ‘Mr Lover Lover’ / bump ‘n’ grind bullshit and we’d already seen the use of the made up word ‘Boombastic’ by Dream Warriors in “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” years earlier. It all felt so uninspired and shoddy.

The success of Shaggy’s song was no doubt aided by its use in the latest Levi’s advert that was airing at the time. By reaching the pinnacle of the charts he followed in the footsteps of Ben E. King, Steve Miller Band, The Clash and Stiltskin all of who were Levi’s fuelled No 1 singles. The good news is that Shaggy only lasted one week at the top (hurray!); bad news is that he will be replaced by Simply Red (boo!).

Mayo’s Meter: “Now if you like your jeans loose and all baggy, there’s some new ones down the shops. And you know that bloke that promotes them, Shaggy…well guess what? He’s Top of the Pops”.

Verdict: Undeniably awful. Doesn’t scan at all and the rhymes are shoe horned in. Just shite – 1/10

The play out video is another plug for the returning TOTP2 series and is, for me, easily the best thing shown on this programme – Roxy Music with “Dance Away”. I’m not reviewing that though as it’s an outlier with the rest of the show. There is still time for one last chance for Rhymin’ Simon to impress me…

Mayo’s Meter: “Next week exclusives from Def Leppard and TLC and it’s fortunately presented by Steve Lamacq and Jo Whi-ley. Which is very good. Have a nice night, I think you might. Don’t fight, it’s not right.”

Verdict: Oh just f**k off Mayo!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The Outhere BrothersLa La La Hey HeyAs if
2UmbozaCry IndiaDidn’t happen
3Janet JacksonRunawayNah
4Smokie featuring Roy ‘Chubby’ BrownLiving Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice?)Never!
5PulpMis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s & WizzNo but I had their Different Class album
6Mariah CareyFantasyNope
7ErasureStay With MeI did not
8Iron MaidenMan On The EdgeNo
9ShaggyBoombastic I did but only for a friend who liked it so they could use my shop discount. Honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wkgj/top-of-the-pops-21091995?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 14 OCT 1993

It’s mid October 1993 and the England national football team have just suffered a disastrous defeat in their attempt to qualify for next year’s World Cup. The day before this TOTP aired, they lost 2-0 to Holland in a winner takes all match virtually extinguishing their chances of going to USA ‘94. Defeat came in controversial circumstances with England denied a penalty and Dutch midfielder Ronald Koeman escaping a clear red card at 0-0 before stepping up to curl a free kick into the England net just two minutes later.

A documentary crew recorded England manager *Graham Taylor’s reaction on the touch line so that the moment of his utter despair was captured for posterity. I recall going into work at the Our Price in Stockport the next day and the mood being decidedly downbeat. Presumably that mood was replicated across the country. I wonder if there were any tunes on TOTP to lift our spirits…

*Graham’s favourite recording artist was Dame Vera Lynn. I’m pretty sure she’s not on the show though.

Well, there’s a positive vibe about the opening act who are experiencing a definite high really early in their career. Eternal are up to No 7 with their debut single “Stay”. Is it just me or did they seem to appear overnight as a fully formed pop sensation? There never seemed to be any doubt that they would be successful. Maybe it was the slick dance moves that convinced or perhaps they were just the right set of people at the right time to address the gap in the market for a UK all female R&B infused pop group? Whatever the reason, they did in fact ‘stay’ around for most of the decade (albeit not all four of them together) whereas the unfortunate Graham Taylor would be gone from the England job just over a month after this TOTP aired.

I’ve been writing this TOTP blog for almost six years now covering the period 1983-1993 and written over a million words and still there’s one band who refuse to retreat from the Top 40. Starting with “Flight Of Icarus” in ‘83 and right up to this one “Hallowed Be Thy Name”, those monsters of rock Iron Maiden had eighteen UK Top 40 singles of which nine went Top 10. I haven’t gone back through the literally hundreds of posts to see if I had to find something to write about every single one but I’m guessing most of them will have featured. That’s a lot of words to write about a band I have very little interest in.

Looking at their discography, they are good for another ten hits before TOTP was axed in 2006. I fear that they may outlast my blogging resolve. As for this particular single, it was yet another ‘live’ track (they seemed quite keen on those) taken from their “A Real Dead One” album. I can’t be arsed to listen to it but I’m guessing it’s pretty similar to most of their previous chart entries. If that makes me a musical snob then so be it.

Finally!! I’ve been banging on about Dina Carroll and her single “Don’t Be A Stranger” for months now. I may have seemed at one point to be rather obsessed by it. Why? Well, I couldn’t understand why her record label A&M waited until the very last moment to release it as a single. It was the sixth and final track from her album “So Close” but it was as by far the biggest selling going all the way to No 3 when none of the previous five got any higher than No 12. They must have known they had a song with massive hit potential on “So Close” – they even used it to promote the album’s release on TOTP back on 28th January in the show’s album chart feature. So why then let it languish unreleased for another nine months? Were they holding it back for Christmas? I’m going over old territory again here. All I know is that we sold loads of “Don’t Be A Stranger” which stayed in the Top 40 for eleven weeks (nine of them inside the Top 10) with the knock on effect that sales of the album went crazy over the Christmas period that year. Ah! So it was about Christmas then! Maybe A&M knew what they were doing after all.

Next a band at the peak of their fame and apex of their commercial success. From high school slackers to darlings of the inkies music press – that was the seven year journey of The Lemonheads who had just released their sixth studio album called (rather oddly I always thought) “Come On Feel The Lemonheads”. The album would go to No 5 in the UK whilst also supplying their biggest ever hit single “Into Your Arms”.

When not talking about that England defeat, a lot of the staff at the Our Price in Stockport where I was working were very excited by the prospect of this album coming out. Undoubtedly, “Into Your Arms” is a good song but what was catching my attention about the album was its front cover on which Evan Dando looked curiously like the store’s previous manager who had just left to join HMV. Given that Dando’s face seemed to be in every magazine cover at the time – he was included in People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People list – I think I would have been pleased with the comment. Sadly my cheek bone structure would always disqualify me from any such comparison.

As with their previous appearance in the TOTP studio, Evan looks like a giant up there on stage making his guitar seem like a toy. And what was it that they were throwing about mid-song? Just bits of paper? Breadcrumbs like the audience were ducks in a pond? Pop stars eh? Don’t ya just love ‘em?

The Breakers are back with a vengeance after taking last week off with four of the blighters coming at us. We start with a rerelease of a UK No 1 from 1986 – well if it’s good enough for Frankie Goes To Hollywood…”Chain Reaction” was somewhat of a surprise chart topper for Diana Ross coming as it did after an extremely fallow three years preceding it. More so than that though, it was a UK phenomenon as it was totally ignored in the US. None of the other singles from parent album “Eaten Alive” were big hits so what was it about “Chain Reaction” that appealed to us so?* I’m guessing the Bee Gees factor seeing as they wrote it and Barry Gibb does backing vocals on it.

* I say ‘we’ but I have to admit I could never stand it.

So why was it in the charts again? To promote her latest Greatest Hits album “One Woman: The Ultimate Collection” obviously which was a huge seller over that Christmas and went four times platinum in the UK. The 1993 rerelease was actually entitled “Chain Reaction ‘93” (who’d have thought it?!) and was supposedly a remix though they just recycled the original video to promote it. The 1993 incarnation peaked at No 20.

Some big hitters in the Breakers this week as after Miss Diana Ross comes Prince. Back in 1993, the purple one had just released a sprawling Best Of package comprising three separate albums – “The Hits 1”, “The Hits 2” and “The B Sides”. I say Prince but really it was his record company Warners. The former wanted to release the first album by his latest project The New Power Generation but the latter went with the the Best Ofs that they’d wanted to release two years earlier. In total that was 56 tracks if you bought the whole set (36 singles and 20 B-sides). You could buy “The Hits 1” and “The Hits 2” separately but “The B-Sides” had to get bought as part of the whole set. To promote the kit and caboodle came the single “Peach” which was included on “The Hits 2”. Helpfully for all the completists out there, the two CD singles released in the UK came backed with extra tracks that had been singles that weren’t included on either of “The Hits” albums.

As for the song itself, it’s a damn funky, infectious number with some typically dirty lyrics. Never one to shy away from writing about sex, Prince went into the 90s really pushing the envelope. “Gett Off”, “Cream”, “Sexy MF”…and then “Peach” with lyrics like this:

She was pure, every ounce, I was sure when her titties bounced

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Prince Rogers Nelson
Peach lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Years later, I asked a work colleague when discussing “Peach” where was the censor? Her reply was succinct and to the point – “on the dance floor”. Of course, for readers of a certain vintage and inclination, the word ‘peach’ when used in a sexual manner will always conjure up images of Viz’s Sid the Sexist character and his chat up line “D’yer like fruit pet?” I’ll leave you to work out the rest.

The Prodigy are next with “One Love”, the lead single from their second album “Music For The Jilted Generation” except said album would not appear until July the following year, nearly nine months later. They did a similar thing with their debut album “Experience”. That was released in September of 1992 yet their first two singles which both featured on it came out twelve and nine months before it way back in 1991. I’m not reading anything into it especially; it just struck me as curious.

There was a practice for singles that came out in between albums to be stand alone releases to maintain a band’s profile during the intervening gap. Off the top of my head there’s “The Way You Are” by Tears For Fears that came out in between “The Hurting” and “Songs From The Big Chair” and…oh, here’s a thing…remember that 1990 single from the Stone Roses that was released in between their eponymous debut and “Second Coming”? Remember its title? Yep, “One Love”. Now that is curious. The Prodigy’s “One Love” peaked at No 8 and its video is a complete head f**k.

Bon Jovi’s singles from their “Keep The Faith” album didn’t make much sense. I mean, sure the title track as their first new material of the decade was always going to be a big hit and so it was peaking at No 5. The album came out about three weeks later and then nothing was released from it until January presumably to avoid getting caught in the Christmas rush. So far, so sensible. “Bed Of Roses” was the second single to be released and it understandably peaked at a lower position than its predecessor given that punters would have already bought the album. Then things start to go a bit odd. Third single “In Your Arms” made No 9 thereby reversing the beginnings of a possible case of diminished returns. The following single “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” performed pretty well to say it was the fourth to be released from the album but it did appear to revert to type by peaking at No 17 (the worst performing of all the album’s singles).

And then came this one, the fifth called “I Believe”. This was nearly a year since the album came out and yet it managed to get to No 11. This didn’t make any sense at all. The song itself wasn’t anything special and not one of their best remembered tunes I would suggest. The CD single did have three live tracks on it so could that have influenced potential buyers? The final single to be released from the album completed the oddness. “Dry County” came out on March 7th 1994 a whole sixteen months after the album was released and peaked at No 9. Oh I give up.

There have been many songs on TOTP whilst I have been writing this blog that I have zero recall of and my general reaction has been this:

However, my discovery that there is not a single trace in my memory banks of this next act has left me shocked. Why? Well, because they sound pretty good to me and the sort of thing I would have liked. Presumably I didn’t watch this TOTP when first broadcast and missed seeing them but I was working in a record shop at the time so I really have no excuse. I’m talking about One Dove who were a Scottish dance act. Hang on…me?Liking dance music? That can’t be right. I’ve said many times I’m really not a dance head but there’s something very accessible about this track “Breakdown”. It’s got a proper tune and singer Dot Allison (who would have an extensive solo career after the band split) is playing a guitar! It’s also got a hypnotic quality to it. It reminds me of “Visions Of You” by Jah Wobble’s Invaders Of The Heart featuring Sinéad O’Connor. It should have been a bigger hit than a No 24.

Apparently the band split after becoming disillusioned with the music business when their label tried to commercialise their sound. And yes, I had to look all of this up owing to my complete lack of knowledge about One Dove before this repeat aired. I wonder if I merged them into The Doves in my head who were a completely different band altogether but who formed out of Sub Sub who had a massive hit with “Ain’t No Love (Ain’t No Use)” in this year. Maybe they were just displaced by that false memory? Getting old is just crap isn’t it?

Oh crikey! It’s Phil Collins! Yes, the much maligned croaker restarted his solo career this year after the last couple of years were taken up with the Genesis album “We Can’t Dance”. Now whatever you might say or think about Phil, his popularity is undeniable. His 1993 album “Both Sides” was his fifth solo venture. Of those five albums to that point, four of them (including “Both Sides”) went to No 1 whilst the other peaked at No 2. “Both Sides Of The Story” was the lead single and (almost) title track from the album and went straight into the Top 10 at No7. Wait…is this the one with the bagpipes near the end? I think it is. As with most of Phil’s and indeed Genesis’s TOTP turns, the producers have cleared the decks running order wise to give an enormous time slot of over five minutes for the performance. Phil spends most of it over emoting and the whole thing sounds particularly overwrought.

Phil played his last show with Genesis in March of this year having to retire from touring due to serious back issues resulting in nerve damage which won’t allow him to drum any more.

Take That and Lulu remain at No 1 with “Relight My Fire”.

Apparently one of the CD singles featured a live Motown medley as one of the extra tracks. A live Motown medley you say? By Take That? Yeah, I think I’d rather have these boys featuring a guy who’s possibly more maligned than even Phil Collins…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1EternalStayNope
2Iron MaidenHallowed Be Thy NameNever happening
3Dina CarrollDon’t Be A StrangerDespite harping on about it all this time, I never actually bought it
4The LemonheadsInto Your ArmsNo
5Diana RossChain Reaction ‘93Nah
6PrincePeachLiked it, didn’t buy it
7The ProdigyOne LoveI did not
8Bon JoviI BelieveNo but I had a promo copy of the album
9One DoveBreakdownNo but maybe I should have
10Phil CollinsBoth Sides Of The StoryAs if
11Take That / LuluRelight My FireAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001dhjb/top-of-the-pops-14101993

TOTP 11 MAR 1993

1993 was not a year I was looking forward to reviewing and one of the main reasons for that has now arrived in this TOTP – the unholy trinity of the three S’s. I speak of Shaggy, Shabba Ranks and Snow. The first two are both on tonight’s show whilst the latter makes his debut entry into the Top 40 this week. Somehow these three crystallised for me everything they was wrong with the charts around this time. The fact that they all arrived together at the same time probably had something to do with it. Could I have been wrong in my initial assessment? Let’s see if a gap of twenty-nine years has changed my perspective.

Opening the show though are another act who were all about the S’s so much so they had two of them in their name – it can only be Sister Sledge. Well, it could also have been Sam Smith or Sandie Shaw or Shakespear’s Sister or (God forbid) Shakin’ Stevens but let’s not go there. Seriously.

After they’d scored a hit for the third time in fourteen years with yet another remix of “We Are Family” earlier in 1993, perhaps the most obvious rerelease of all time was unleashed upon us – yes it was time once more for “Lost In Music”. Why obvious? Well, every time one song was released as a single, the other came out shortly after. Look at this lot:

  • 26 May 1979 – “We Are Family”
  • 21 Aug 1979 – “Lost In Music
  • 07 Sep 1984 – “Lost In Music”
  • 17 Nov 1984 – “We Are Family”
  • 24 Jan 1993 – “We Are Family”
  • 13 Mar 1993 – “Lost In Music”

I mean they’re both disco standards but is that just a teeny bit of overkill? Couldn’t they have mixed it up a bit? How about a rerelease of “Thinking Of You” instead? What? They did do that as well! It was their third hit single of 1993 when it came out again in the June. Oh come on! Wait…

*blogger is gripped by sudden panic*

They didn’t rerelease “Frankie” as well did they?! Please God no!

*checks Sister Sledge discography*

Oh thank f**k for that. They didn’t. I couldn’t have hoped with a second helping if that on the show. I’d have barfed for sure.

The 1993 version of “Lost In Music” peaked at No 14.

What’s that you say Tony Dortie (in your daft hat)? Bruce Dickinson is leaving Iron Maiden? Did he? I have to say that this piece of blockbusting news must have passed me by at the time. Having read up on the story, it seems that Bruce had announced he was leaving the band before they headed out on a forty-six date world tour. It doesn’t sound like a good idea and indeed it wasn’t. Both his band mates and their fanbase were pissed off with Dickinson for putting the group’s future in doubt. Maybe keeping schtum about leaving to pursue your solo career until after the tour is done may have been the way to go Bruce?

Anyway, this live single “Fear Of The Dark” wasn’t from Dickinson’s final tour as it hadn’t yet happened. Instead it was, rather obviously, from the previous year’s Fear Of The Dark tour which was enshrined forever in the resultant album “A Real Live One”. Now, I wouldn’t need every finger of one hand to list the number of Iron Maiden songs that I like but this one starts off in a rather un-Maiden-esque style with Dickinson laying off on the over the top throaty vocals and with a low key intro but then they resort to type and it loses my interest immediately. It peaked at No 8 thanks to that newly pissed off but still sizeable fanbase.

And so we return to those pesky S’s now as we find Shaggy on his way to the top of the charts with “Oh Carolina”. Up to No 2 this week and with 2 Unlimited now in their fifth week at the pinnacle, Tony Dortie’s prediction of it being No 1 the following week was hardly the stuff of Nostradamus. Yet it was, at the same time, an unlikely chart topper. Apparently “Oh Carolina” would be the first ‘reggae’ No 1 since Aswad’s “Don’t Turn Around” in 1988 if you can classify that as a reggae track and if you ignore the dub reggae of “Dub Be Good To Me” by Beats International in 1990. The following week, Snow’s “Informer” would storm to No 8 meaning there would be three reggae influenced singles in the Top 10 simultaneously for the first time ever. It was a strange time in the UK charts but why and how had this shake up of the charts come to be? Maybe it was just the law of averages and probability – it had to happen some time.

I worked for Our Price throughout the 90s and we used to source the majority of our reggae stock from the supplier Jetstar. In my memory, they are who we ordered the Shaggy single from though I could be wrong about that. Whenever you used to ring their telesales team with an order, you were guaranteed to talk to someone effortlessly cool on the other end of the line. It always sounded like the atmosphere in the Jetstar office was just one long, chilled out sesh with the occasional bit of work done now and then if they felt like it. I’m sure they are all really hard working but that was the vibe that was projected. I was jealous. Also having a good time is Shaggy who is clearly enjoying himself in this performance probably riding on the confidence of knowing he’ll have a No 1 record soon enough.

And so we come to easily the most objectionable of the three S’s of 1993 – “Mr Loverman”, Shabba Ranks. I hated everything about this; the song, its success and of course Ranks himself not least of all because of this interview on The Word:

Let’s have it right, what a f*****g arsehole! Thankfully Mark Lamarr was on hand to call him out unlike Dani Behr who wanted to sweep it all under the carpet and move on. That took place in 1992 and by March 1993, Ranks had put out a public apology for his grotesque words. Funnily enough it coincided with the rerelease of the “Mr Loverman” single. Do you think his record company Sony put some pressure on him to retract what he had said so that their product wasn’t dead in the water before it started? Yes, I did say rerelease as the single had already been a hit once the previous August when it got to No 23. Presumably the rising profile of dancehall and the success of Shaggy convinced Sony to roll the dice again and so it became a No 3 hit second time around.

The track became infamous for the use of the ‘Shabba!’ shout out which became a catch all catchphrase for just about any situation. My favourite use of it though was by Ray Von from Phoenix Nights

It’s a third time on the show for Bryan Ferry and his treatment of “I Put A Spell On You”. Now originally I had thought that this might be just a rebroadcast of the first time Ferry did a studio performance as the staging is almost exactly the same but it isn’t as the cut away to the next act reveals. This raises the question of quite why Ferry just gave an identikit performance again? I mean I think there’s less dancers this week but everything else including the performers outfits are the same. I guess I expected a bit more creativity from Bryan than that.

“I Put A Spell On You” peaked at No 18.

I find it hard to remember but there was a time when Jamiroquai’s sound was regarded as fresh and new and exciting. That sensation didn’t last long as petty soon everything they released sounded exactly the same as..well…everything else they’d ever released. Back in 1993 though Jay Kay was a hip, young groover bringing his brand of acid jazz, soul/funk vibes to the nation. I guess he’s always been a divisive figure though. Early on he suffered from accusations of plagiarising Stevie Wonder and of being a hypocrite for espousing environmental themes in his lyrics whilst having an obsession with the collection of fast, expensive cars. Subsequent misdemeanours like being charged with assaulting a photographer and waxing lyrical in concert about how great his then partner Denise Van Outen’s breasts were didn’t do his image any favours.

I always thought “Too Young To Die” was Jamiroquai’s first single but there’d been one before it called “When You Gonna Learn” in 1992 which had made No 28 on the charts but which had escaped my attention completely. It was their first single for Sony though which may account for my confusion. As for the performance here, you have to admit that Jay Kay (it’s all about him really in much the same way that Simply Red is all about Hucknall) makes quite the impression. His vocals are good (though the ‘de de de de do’ chorus is unmistakably Wonder-esque) but it’s his look which grabs the attention. Watching him now, the first thing that springs to mind is how hot he must have been under the studio lights in his oversized clobber. Ah yes, the clothes or more specifically that hat! It would become Kay’s signature look and inform the ‘buffalo man’ logo that would be the face of the band’s brand featuring on the art work for the covers of their first four albums. Some thought had clearly gone into this from a marketing point of view.

Did I like their sound? Yeah, initially. My wife liked it so much she bought that first album “Emergency On Planet Earth”. I think I got bored with it quite quickly though. “Too Young To Die” made it all the way to the Top 10 and the album was a platinum selling No 1. The time of Jamiroquai had begun.

Next a band who, like many before them, suffer from the misguided belief by many that they were a one hit wonder. PM Dawn really weren’t though their biggest and most memorable success did rather overshadow the rest of their back catalogue which is a shame. The Spandau Ballet sampling “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss” was that huge hit of course from the Summer of 1991 and we hadn’t heard that much from the duo since. The follow up single “Paper Doll” had been scrunched up and binned when it failed to make the Top 40 whilst two further singles had at least charted though neither got further than No 29. “Looking Through Patient Eyes” would correct that though when it peaked at No 11.

Turning from Spandau Ballet to George Michael for inspiration on this one – the track heavily samples “Father Figure” – it was another great example of their wordy rapping (hood) allied to a mellow yet catchy sound. It was taken from their second album the title of which confirmed their verbose credentials – “The Bliss Album…? (Vibrations Of Love And Anger And The Ponderance Of Life And Existence)”. They really did have a thing about word heavy album titles. Their debut was called “Of The Heart, Of The Soul And Of The Cross: The Utopian Experience” whilst their fourth carried the title of “Dearest Christian, I’m So Very Sorry For Bringing You Here. Love Dad”. Like the Ferry album “Taxi”, Our Price got a promo copy of the album which ended up in my possession. My wife even made a cover for it.

Sadly, Prince Be died in 2016 after suffering for years from diabetes related conditions including having one of his legs amputated at the knee due to gangrene.

If it’s…we’ll any year since 1958 actually…then there must be a Cliff Richard single out. 1993’s first offering of that particular year was a song called “Peace In Our Time”. This is yet another song I don’t recall at all. I wonder what it sounds like?

*watches Cliff’s performance back*

Oh this is just a glorious tune. So full of life and positivity and…nah, you got me. It’s just the same old Cliff shite that he’d been peddling for years. Apparently a hit for Eddie Money in the US in the late 80s, it’s just sanctimonious crap about having faith, putting songs in our hearts and building a heaven on earth. It even goes on about turning water into wine! Just horrible. If I want a song called “Peace In Our Time”, there’s always this…

Cliff’s got all his usual mates with him here backing him up – Janey Lee Grace, that bloke from Modern Romance – whilst the main man himself does his usual weird arm movements. At one point he’s only a flick of the wrist away from doing a Bruce Forsyth pose. Cliff, of course, was at Wimbledon last week doing his usual cringe fest crowd singalong. For the love of God Cliff, give it a rest and grant us some peace in our time! By the way, I can’t find the TOTP performance so here’s a clip from some German pop show:

It’s the final week at the top for 2 Unlimited with “No Limit”. After positing the theory the other week that dance acts couldn’t sell albums, Ray and Anita completely debunk this by having a No 1 with parent album “No Limits” (note the plural). Released on the PWL label in the UK, Pete Waterman made the decision to remove Ray’s raps from the tracks which only increased the ‘there’s no lyrics’ jibes in the press. The ribbing was continued in later weeks by some unlikely critics – the Scottish popsters The Bluebells who had some fun at 2 Unlimited’s expense by shouting out ‘Techno, techno, techno, techno’ during a TOTP performance of their rejuvenated hit “Young At Heart”. Those cheeky scamps!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I Buy It?
1Sister SledgeLost In Music ’93Nope
2Iron MaidenFear Of The Dark (Live)Never
3ShaggyOh CarolinaNah
4Shabba RanksMr LovermanHell no!
5Bryan Ferry I Put A Spell On YouNo but I had a promo of the album
6JamiroquaiToo Young To DieNo but my wife had the album
7PM DawnLooking Through Patient EyesSee 5 above
8Cliff RichardPeace In Our TimeWhat do you think?!
92 UnlimitedNo LimitNegative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0018zst/top-of-the-pops-11031993

TOTP 23 APR 1992

The curse of Adrian Rose has struck again meaning we have missed the 16 April show. As such we arrive in the week that the race for the last ever First Division title was decided before the juggernaut of the Premier League arrived the following season. The day before this TOTP aired. Manchester United had suffered an unexpected 1-0 loss at relegation threatened West Ham. This set up a scenario whereby title rivals Leeds could become champions at the weekend if they won and United lost again. Both teams were due to play on the Sunday with Leeds playing first away at Sheffield United and Man Utd facing the daunting task of a trip to their old enemy Liverpool.

As it turned out, at the same time that Leeds were playing their game, I was also involved in a match of high stakes when I played for an Our Price team against a team of record company reps on some playing field somewhere in the Greater Manchester area. I have very little recall of the game (certainly not the result) though I do remember thinking I could be watching Sunday morning TV rather than doing this shit for absolutely nobody’s benefit. As we left the field after somebody had decided enough was enough (there was no ref to call full time), Leeds were securing a 3-2 win courtesy of a ludicrous own goal.

Later that day I watched ITV’s coverage of Man Utd 0-2 loss at Liverpool which made Leeds the champions. They had a TV crew at Leeds striker Lee Chapman’s house who had some of his team mates with him including the talismanic Eric Cantona and dour Yorkshire man David Batty. As the final whistle sounded at Anfield, a live link to Chapman’s living room enabled an immediate reaction from the Leeds players. Asked how he felt at winning the title by the interviewer, Batty replied “well, it’s a bonus”. Now that’s what I call an exclusive scoop!

TOTP start the show this week with their own exclusive scoop – the return of EMF! Hmm. The underwhelmed David Batty or a new EMF single – which was the bigger scoop? I think we’ll call that one a draw. Don’t get me wrong, I loved “Unbelievable” it’s just that everything that came after that was all a bit samey but not quite as good. Some 18 months on from their moment of magnificence, were we all still on tenterhooks awaiting new material from the band.? Whether we were or not, new material was what we got and not just one song but four in the form of the “Unexplained EP”. I say four new songs but one of them was a cover of Iggy And The Stooges’ “Search And Destroy” but let’s not be pedantic.

The song performed here is “Getting Through” and it didn’t tinker with the EMF formula too much, basically being yet another rehash of everything they had gone before. The result wasn’t terrible just a bit…meh. Lead singer James still has his terrible trademark headgear on and nothing seems to have moved forward at all.

In September they released their second album “Stigma” (which included “Getting Through”) to a lukewarm reaction when it peaked at No 19 and spent just two weeks on the chart before dropping as fast as David Batty’s excitement levels.

The “Unexplained” EP peaked at No 18.

Not this fella again! I think this is the third time for Curtis Stigers and his second hit “You’re All That Matters To Me”. This performance is a carbon copy of the one he did the other week even down to the white shirt and waistcoat combo he’s wearing and has forced the members of his backing band to as well. He’s even in in the same spot in the running order just after the Top 10 countdown. He has changed his backing singers and has got them a bit more coordinated in their dance moves although it’s pretty much your basic nerd shuffle. Enough of this. Next!

Well, this is as far removed from Curtis Stigers as it gets. Here’s Iron Maiden! You have to hand it to these lads, they had a loyal fan base and knew how to utilise them. Since 1988, the chart peaks of their seven singles released in that period were:

3-5-6-6-3-1-2

The final number in that sequence relates to this track “Be Quick Or Be Dead”, the lead single from their ninth studio album “Fear Of The Dark”. Never mind EMF sticking to a formula, this lot had been churning out variations on the same theme for years. I know that opinion is heresy to their fans but, like I say, it’s just an opinion.

The CD single came with a hidden extra track called “Bayswater Ain’t A Bad Place To Be” which is basically Bruce Dickinson ripping the piss out of the band’s manager Rod Smallwood in an accent that sounds a bit like Bill Oddie. I managed about two and a half minutes of the eight minutes and eight seconds of it. Can you do any better?

They’ve moved the Breakers to a more sensible position in the show as opposed to just before the No 1 so here they are starting with Marc Almond and “The Days Of Pearly Spencer”. I had no idea initially that this wasn’t an Almond original but it is of course a cover version of a David McWilliams tune. Who? Well, he was a Belfast singer songwriter who scored a No 1 hit with his “Harlem Lady” single in France but remained largely unknown in the UK. “The Days Of Pearly Spencer” was on the B-side of “Harlem Lady” and gained a lot of attention due to a massive advertising campaign launched by his manager Phil Solomon but it failed in the UK as Radio 1 refused to play it due to Solomon’s close ties to pirate radio station Radio Caroline. Supposedly written about a homeless man in Ballymena, County Antrim, its heavily stylised chorus came about from recording McWilliams’ vocals using a telephone line from a phone box near the studio.

Marc’s version was taken from his “Tenement Symphony” album and was quirky enough to prick the curiosity of the record buying public who made it a huge No 4 hit. Considering the majority of his solo singles were minor hits at best and often chart flops (with the obviously huge exception of “Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart”) this was both a big deal and very surprising. Unfortunately the single’s success didn’t translate to the album which peaked at a low lowly No 39.

If Leeds United were having a stellar season in 1991/92 finishing as First Division champions, then Kylie Minogue was having a distinctly mid table time of it. Her album “Lets Get To It” had seriously underperformed with two of the four singles from it not making the UK Top 10, the first time this had ever happened to her.

The second of those singles was “Finer Feelings” which at the time the critics were talking up as indicating a more mature direction that she would surely be following once her much predicted uncoupling from Stock, Aitken and Waterman was complete. Maybe the press was just reacting to the fact that the lyrics referred to ‘sex’ and ‘sexual healing’. Like “Word Is Out” before it, “Finer Feelings” is very much a forgotten Kylie single although it was also a line in the sand as a demarcation between her eras. Her next studio album would be on dance label Deconstruction and would usher in a whole new phase of her career.

After I’ve moaned on about the Breakers section bring a waste of time recently with it featuring singles that would amount to very little chart wise and which would not be seen on TOTP again, it seems to have been repurposed to highlight those that have been on the show as recently as the previous week and are now moving up the charts. Two of this week’s Breakers fall into that category. Kylie was the first and now comes Michael Ball who was on the show just seven days before.

After a brief but very successful time in the charts during 1989 when “Love Changes Everything” was a No 2 hit, you could have been forgiven for thinking that was it for The Ballster as a pop star. However, never underestimate the influence of the Eurovision Sing Contest. Well, at least not in the early 90s.

After the failure of Samantha Janus the previous year, the BBC took the decision of who would represent the UK out of the public’s hands and pre chose Ball. They did though allow us to choose which song he would sing out of a choice of eight. Yes, that meant that A Song For Europe show this year featured a lot of Michael Ball! “One Step Out Of Time” was the track given the honour of representing the country and what a fluffy, little lightweight thing it was. I never felt like it really suited Ball’s voice but maybe that’s because all I’d ever heard him sing before that was “Love Changes Everything”. However, it very nearly did the business on the big night coming in second to Ireland (obviously).

The sliding sections video has a feel of Duran Duran’s “Rio” to it though Michael was hardly the Simon Le Bon type. An album was released off the back of the single’s success which included “Love Changes Everything” despite it having been released as a single a whole three years prior. And if you thought Michael Ball was bad, the following year’s entry was Sonia!

The second mention in this section for the Deconstruction label comes courtesy of KKlass. These arch mixers had a massive hit in their own right at the back end of 1991 with “Rhythm Is A Mystery” so they thought they’d have a go at doing it all over again with follow up single “So Right”. I don’t remember this track so couldn’t tell you how this went at all but I’m guessing it sounds exactly the same as the first hit.

*listens to 30 seconds of the track*

Yep. I was right. Next!

Rivalling Leeds United in the annus mirabilis stakes in 1992 were Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine. They even named their No 1 album (No 1!) after the year -“1992 – The Love Album”. How did this happen? A fervently indie act with a defiantly anti-mainstream sound and subversive image as chart topping pop stars? Well, being signed to major label Chrysalis Records who picked up the band after the demise of Rough Trade probably helped but was it just that? Was there also a desire for something reactionary in an era of the conventional and the ordinary that CUSM were in the right place at the right time to take advantage of? Was it to do with their infamous Philip Schofield felling appearance at the Smash Hits Awards show a few months earlier? Or was it just a case of a talented duo with some great songs naturally rising to the top?

Whatever the reason, “Only Living Boy In New Cross” would become the band’s first and only Top 10 hit. A clear play on words of the Simon & Garfunkel song “The Only Living Boy In New York”, its performance here is reminiscent of some of those ‘party atmosphere’ shows of the mid 80s with balloons galore and a stage full of audience members. Didn’t The Smiths do something similar in terms of having a crowd up there with them? I’m pretty sure Wheatus did years later whilst performing “Teenage Dirtbag” on the show.

Inevitably with all peaks, their commercial zenith couldn’t last and it didn’t. Their descent came about just as they’d reached their high point. Headlining that year’s Glastonbury Festival was confirmation of their elevated status and yet it went sour after Fruitbat, infamous rugby tackler of Philip Schofield, insulted the legendary Michael Eavis after being annoyed that their set was cut short due to some bands who were on before them overrunning. It led to a lifetime ban from the festival.

“Only Living Boy In New Cross” peaked at No 7.

I hate it when the show has an ‘exclusive’ showing of a Michael Jackson video because there’s so much to read about them online whilst doing research for the blog. Anyway, here’s the next one for the third single from his “Dangerous” album “In The Closet”. If the internet had been around in 1992 like it is today then this song title would have been the ultimate click bait. Michael Jackson? In The Closet? Is he coming out of said closet? However the song didn’t reveal anything about Jacko’s sexual orientation but instead dealt with the story of a clandestine relationship. The lyrics were pretty suggestive though with lines like ‘Cause if it’s aching you have to rub it’ and ‘touch me there, make the move’ but then it was co-written with Teddy Riley who also penned such salacious tunes as “Rump Shaker” and “No Diggity”.

I have to say that although I knew there was a Michael Jackson song called “In The Closet”, I couldn’t remember at all how it went. Listening to it now I forgive myself as it’s entirely forgettable. Also suffering from amnesia was Jackson himself who forgot to put any tune into the track – it’s as if it was created purely just to construct a dance routine for the video. Ah yes , the ‘exclusive’ video – that’s crap as well. It’s just Jacko and Naomi Campbell cavorting about on a sepia tinted set. Compared to the mini epics that were his last two videos for “Black And White” and “Remember The Time”, it’s a huge let down.

“In The Closet” only made No 8 on the UK Top 40 and the next two singles did even worse before the trend was reversed with a perfectly timed Xmas release of saccharine ballad “Heal The World” – basically a rewrite of “We Are The World” – just missing the top spot when it peaked at No 2.

We have a new No 1 after eight weeks of Shakespear’s Sister sitting on the throne. Actually, Right Said Fred were No 1 the week before but we missed that show due to the Adrian Rose conundrum but they’re still there this week with “Deeply Dippy”. Now in an interview on the songfacts.com website, the Fairbrass brothers told the story that they nearly toured with Faith No More. Apparently both sides liked what the other did and there was a definite motivation to make it happen but management got cold feet. They were also rumoured to be offered a support slot with Michael Jackson but the band were put off by all the rules, regulations and restrictions surrounding Jackson and being in his presence. Both stories got me thinking about unlikely touring partners or support acts. Surely the most infamous one is Jimi Hendrix supporting The Monkees but there must be other outlandish examples surely?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1EMFUnexplained EPNope
2Curtis StigersYou’re All That Matters To MeNah
3Iron MaidenBe Quick Or Be DeadCertainly not
4Marc AlmondThe Days Of Pearly SpencerLiked it, didn’t buy it
5Kylie MinogueFiner FeelingsNo but I think my wife had it on a Greatest Hits album
6Michael BallOne Step Out Of TimeDid I bollocks!
7K-KlassSo RightSo wrong – no
8Carter The Unstoppable Sex MachineOnly Living Boy In New CrossDon’t think I did
9Michael JacksonIn The ClosetIn the bin more like – no
10Right Said FredDeeply DippyNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001499y/top-of-the-pops-23041992

TOTP 10 JAN 1991

Already 10 days into the new year of 1991 here at TOTP Rewind and yet tonight’s host Jakki Brambles still takes the opportunity to wish us a Happy New Year. Keep up Jakki! This show mainly features songs that were ‘new’ to us back then and we start with one from Bananarama and “Preacher Man”. Not to be confused with Dusty Springfield’s “Son Of A Preacher Man”, this was the second single to be released from the nanas fifth album “Pop Life” but actually came out a whole six months after lead single “Only Your Love” due to Sara Dallin contracting meningitis which delayed its release. Despite its difficult birth, it would end up being the most successful of the four singles released from the album when it peaked at No 20. 

The single was well received critically as being a strong, hooky pop song but for me it doesn’t stand out as being one of their most memorable tunes. I think it’s the reedy sounding vocals that let it down. The “Karma Chameleon” style harmonica solo in the middle doesn’t help either. As ever with Bananarama TOTP performances, Keren and Sara mark themselves out as the power couple of the trio by wearing the same outfit while Jacquie is still very presented as the new girl and odd one out three years on with her alternative togs. This sartorial separation was also evident even when Siobhan Fahey was still in the group and the signs had been there for some time that she was not on the same page as the other two – it wasn’t the biggest shock ever when she departed. 

Bananarama would not return to the Top 20 for another 14 years. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV0sQB8xyRQ

Here’s Whitney Houston next with one of her trademark power ballads. After the uptempo “I’m Your Baby Tonight”, it wasn’t a surprise that she reverted to this genre and indeed, “All The Man That I Need” didn’t seem that different to the likes of  “Didn’t We Almost Have It All” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. Oh, check this out – on the The Bodyguard World Tour of 1993–94, she performed the song as part of a love song medley that included …yep…”Didn’t We Almost Have It All,” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. Well there you go – identikit Whitney. You have to admit though that she had the pipes to be able to pull it off.

In the US, it gave her a 9th No 1 single from 11 releases but it stalled at No 13 over here. Maybe we didn’t like the video which is as dull as a night down the pub with George Eustace. It’s just Whitney mooching around various rooms in a big house (one of which includes a John Lennon “Imagine” type white piano) before she is joined by a gospel choir for the climax. 

The song had already been recorded by Sister Sledge and someone called Linda Clifford before Whitney got her mitts on it and then, in 1994, Luther Vandross preformed a gender swap on it by recording at as “All The Woman That I Need”. There can’t be that many songs where that has occurred can there? Top of my head I can think of “I Saw Him Standing There” which was Tiffany’s version of The Beatles “I Saw Her Standing There” and sticking with the Fab Four, there’s The Carpenters take on their “Ticket To Ride” when Karen Carpenter changes the lyrics from ‘the girl that’s driving me mad’ to ‘the boy that’s driving me mad’. Oh and Tracey Ullman converting “My Girl” by Madness to “My Guy’s Mad at Me”. 

 

This is more like it! This is what the kids wanted! Some grebo rock! Or were they a hip-hop/dance/rock sample heavy hybrid? Whatever, “X, Y & Zee” became Pop Will Eat Itself’s biggest ever hit up to his point when it peaked at No 15. It was also their fourth Top 40 hit as well after “Can U Dig It?”, “Touched by the Hand of Cicciolina” and the delightfully entitled “Dance Of The Mad Bastards”. Oh and I make it their 10th single Jakki, not their 13th as you suggest in your intro. 

Part of the extraordinary story of how the West Midlands market town of Stourbridge became the epicentre for…whatever we’re calling this genre…when it spawned not one, not two but three bands in The Wonderstuff, Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and Pop WIll Eat Itself. How did this happen? I’m not sure but there’s surely a film to be made out of this phenomenon (if there hasn’t been one made already). There is definitely a book on the subject in existence – the rather wonderfully titled of The Eight Legged Atomic Dustbin Will Eat Itself. 

Back to “X, Y & Zee” and I always quite liked this wistful track with a twist and its brilliantly quirky lyrics like:

Mother Nature and Father Time
Used to be good friends of mine
But now we’ve put them in a home
Filed them under “uses unknown”

Apparently, lead singer Clint Mansell went onto become a Hollywood film score composer creating soundtracks for the likes of Requiem For A Dream and Black Swan. I haven’t been that surprised since a lovely lad I used to work with at Our Price called Scott ended up being a bank manager. Scott was a right laugh and the most unlikely future bank manager I could ever imagine. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taX4YvL-sXI

We’re back with that “Grease Megamix” by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John next. Presumably its sales had been helped by Xmas and New Year’s Eve parties across the nation. The last time this was on TOTP, they only played the “Summer Nights” section of the mix but this time they feature the other two tracks in “You’re The One That I Want” and “Greased Lightnin'”. Now of course, the latter song has some lyrics that probably wouldn’t be suitable before the watershed and indeed the following line has been edited out.
 
You know that it ain’t shit, we’ll be gettin’ lots of tit, greased lightnin’
 
However, the censors clearly didn’t know what they were doing as they left in:
 
You are supreme, the chicks’ll cream, for greased lightnin’
 
 and
 
You know that I ain’t braggin’, she’s a real pussy wagon
 
What did they think Travolta was singing about FFS?! 
 
“Grease Megamix” peaked at No 3. 
 

 

Right, don’t remember this one at all. “I Can’t Take The Power” by Off-Shore anyone? Even the ever reliable @TOTPFacts could only come up with this info about it. 

Oh and apparently the titular sample is from “Love’s Gonna Get You” by Jocelyn Brown.  Was it supposed to be some sort of response record to Snap!’s “The Power”? 

Whatever. “I Can’t Take The Power” peaked at No 7.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR-z7QdskBc

 

Yes! TOTP on it tonight with what the kids like! After Pop Will Eat Itself comes Jesus Jones and although not from Stourbridge, they were definitely in the same musical universe. “International Bright Young Thing” ushered in an era of a band at the peak of the powers.

No doubt about it – Jesus Jones were big…for a time

Taken from their forthcoming second album “Doubt”, it would become their biggest ever hit whilst said album would go to No 1. It had, without… erm…doubt…been one of the most enquired about albums over Xmas (along with “Spartacus” by The Farm) in terms of when it was coming out. The world really did seem to be at their feet. Sadly, the band suffered a press backlash (maybe the ‘International Bright Young Thing’ tag was too much for some publications) and they would wind up being seen as very irrelevant very quickly especially after grunge happened. 

For the moment though, they are leading the gang of dance/rock groups who are in the charts with their long, flicky hair and wayward keyboard players – look at the state of the Jesus Jones ivories tinkler here; a total dereliction of playing duties and clearly under the influence of something.They’d have been banned from the show back in the early 80s for much less (Pigbag were for a very similar offence).  

“International Bright Young Thing” peaked at No 7. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxj1AoxxbFk

 

A couple of videos we’ve seen before next starting with MC Hammer and “Pray”. I’m sure this has been on a couple of times already but it’s a climber of two places within the Top 10 to a peak of No 8 so I guess its presence again could be justified by the TOTP producers.

There were numerous remixes of this track including:

  • Slam The Hammer Mix
  • Slam The Hammer Piano Dub
  • Jam The Hammer Mix
  • Hit ‘Em Hard Mix
  • Nail ‘Em Down Chant

The titles of the remixes sound like they more belong to an Iron Maiden track than the pious Mr Hammer. Check out this from @TOTPFacts again:

 

The second previously seen video is for “Sadness (Part 1)” by Enigma. This is up to No 2 and will be top of the heap soon enough. Watching the video back, it’s all a bit Wicker Man. For a start, the scribe encounters Auguste Rodin’s The Gates of Hell (depicting a scene from Dante’s Inferno) which kind of relates to Police Sergeant Howie’s discovery of all the pagan Celtic imagery on Summerisle. Even more of a parallel though is the fact that the scribe seems to be being tempted by the undressed woman on the other side of the gate who whispers all that ‘Sade, donnes moi’ (‘Sade, give it to me’) Marquis de Sade malarkey to him. Remember that scene in Wicker Man when the Britt Ekland character tries to seduce Edward Woodward through the walls of his room in the pub? Come on! It’s the same thing! Well, almost. 

 

The ever suave Robert Palmer is up next with his Marvin Gaye mash up single “Mercy Mercy Me / “I Want You”. It was a brave move to cover not one but two Marvin Gaye tracks (Palmer himself admitted to being very nervous when he debuted the song on US Television during an appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show) but I think he gets away with it. 

Palmer was becoming quite the regular hit-maker by this point. This would be his second consecutive Top 10 hit following his UB40 collaboration on “I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight” at the back end of 1990 and would help propel parent album “Don’t Explain” into the Top 10 as well. It would be the last time he would have either a single or album in such upper echelons of the charts though. 

Oh, and is that Boon Gould from Level 42 on bass up there with Robert? Could be. 

 

The aforementioned Iron Maiden are still at No 1 with their sneakily released “Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter” single. I’ve commented before on that book that Jakki Brambles mentions at the end of the song written by Bruce Dickinson (Lord Iffy Boatrace)  – it’s complete bawdy filth including a character who invents the ultimate sex machine. Didn’t mention that did you Jakki?

 

A musical heavyweight is the play out video. For all his success with The Police, Sting‘s solo career had not resulted in anywhere near the size of hits that his band had generated. By the 90s, he had yet to achieve a Top 10 hit and in fact, of the 10 solo singles he released in the 80s, only 3 of them made the Top 40. However, he had begun the new decade in better shape when a Ben Liebrand remix of “Englishman in New York” made the Top 20 in 1990 to be followed by this, “All This Time”, the lead single from his new album “The Soul Cages”.

I remember the release of the album being seen as a big deal and the Our Price store I was working in certainly had lots if stock of it. Big sales were expected but although it went to No 1, I don’t recall selling many. It would achieve gold status for 100,000 copies sold but was far less than his previous solo albums “…Nothing Like the Sun” (platinum – 300,000 sales) and “The Dream Of The Blue Turtles” (double platinum – 600,000 sales). 

For all that talk of disappointing sales figures, I quite liked “All This Time”. Despite its dark lyrics referencing the recent death of his father, it had an uplifting melody and although he can be a complete knacker at times, I’ve always quite liked Sting’s voice. Interesting that he’s only the play out video though, not deemed worthy enough of kicking off the show or having his own little premiere moment in the middle of it. Sting would regroup and return in 1993 with the much more successful “Ten Summoner’s Tales” album  when he would also finally get that Top 10 hit when “All For Love” from The Three Musketeers soundtrack went to No 2 in the charts…but it was with Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams so I’m not sure if that actually counts. 

“All This Time” peaked at No 22. 

 

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEVyOkowBoM

Order of appearance

Artist

Song

Did I Buy it?

1

Bananrama

Preacher Man

Nah

2

Whitney Houston

All The Man That I Need

Nope

3

Pop Will Eat Itself

X Y & Zee

Liked it, didn’t buy it

4

John Travolta and Olivia Newton John

Grease Megamix

Negative

5

Off-Shore

I Can’t Take The Power

Buy it? I don’t even remember it!

6

Jesus Jones

International Bright Young Thing

No but it was on that first Q magazine album that I did buy

7

MC Hammer

Pray

It’s a no

8

Enigma

Sadness (Part 1)

No

9

Robert Palmer

Mercy, Mercy Me / I Want You

No but it’s on my Robert Palmer Best Of CD I think

10

Iron Maiden

Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter

Definitely not

11

Sting

All This Time

I did not

 

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000w6t9/top-of-the-pops-10011991

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

 

TOTP 03 JAN 1991

After being stuck in the world of TOTP 1990 for what felt like much longer than 52 weeks, we have finally arrived in 1991! I approach it with a great deal of caution – too many times during these repeats have I been tricked by my memory into thinking that *insert year here* was pretty good only to be utterly let down by the paucity of tunes on offer each week. C’mon 1991 – don’t let me down! 

I would have just come through my first Our Price Xmas around now. After working some long hours and serving queue after queue of customers, both Xmas and Boxing Day were days off. Back then Boxing Day still saw just about every store closed unlike today when it is one of the biggest trading days of the year. We had been briefed by the store management that it was the 27th Dec that was the busiest (and most horrible day) of the year in retail as that was the day everybody bought back those unwanted gifts. Back then, the company had a no cash refund policy for items that were not faulty. Swapsies or vouchers were the only things on offer which could lead to many a confrontation with a disgruntled customer. I wonder how many of the acts on tonight’s show would have had their wares brought back that day? 

The year starts with someone who surely nobody would have been disappointed to find in their Xmas stocking (obviously I mean her album!). Betty Boo had been one of the biggest stars of 1990 and her single “24 Hours” was her fourth consecutive hit to be plucked from her debut album “Boomania”. So the first thing to note about her performance here is that Betty has lost her Booettes since her last TOTP appearance. Where were the two ladies with the matching black bob hairstyles? Had they all fallen out? According to Betty in a Guardian interview in 2006, those girls liked a good night out and were always pissed when they were touring the world with Betty back in the day so maybe they both had hangovers? With all due respect to Ms Boo, she looks a bit isolated and lost up there on her own. Secondly, what’s with the zebra style plastic mac look? It doesn’t fit her at all does it? As for the song, in truth, it was easily the weakest thing she had released up to this point so it was no surprise that, unlike her other hits, it got nowhere near the Top 10 peaking at No 25. We would not see Betty in the charts again for nigh on two years by which point her time had passed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOWEsuhmR8o

 

OK, so second song into the brand new year and what are we served up? Something that had already been a massive hit as recently as 1987 that was somehow back in the Top 40 again! What a swizz! So why was “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” by Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes back in the charts four years on? Well, we have to remember that this was 30 years ago before the digital age of streaming and catch up services  – we still only had four TV channels! They hadn’t even invented DVDs! So when a ‘big’ film was finally screened on terrestrial TV, it was a huge deal. Just a few weeks before, the premiere of Top Gun on UK TV had seen “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin become a hit all over gain and so it was also the case with this song from the film Dirty Dancing which had premiered on ITV on Boxing Day pulling in 12.2 million viewers. This was appointment TV – not quite The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show but it was up there. According to the song’s co-writer Franke Previte, it only just made the cut for the film as it was “…the last song on the last tape submitted on the last day for the movie’s final scene”. A bit like Will Young who sneaked onto Pop Idol after being the very last person the judges had seen in the preliminary auditions. 

Bill Medley, of course, had already made an unlikely chart comeback of his own a few weeks prior to this as part of The Righteous Brothers whose “Unchained Melody’ was the biggest selling single in the UK in 1990 off the back of its inclusion in the film Ghost. Jennifer Warnes also had her own film soundtrack history having scored a huge hit back in 1983 as part of another duet, this time with Joe Cocker with the song with “Up Where We Belong” which featured prominently in An Officer And A Gentleman. Her only other UK chart entry had been with a cover of Leonard Cohen’s “First We Take Manhattan” which peaked at No 74 also in 1987 which I’d quite liked.

“(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” peaked at No 8 second time around just two places lower than its 1987 original release. 

Not a brilliant start to the new year – so what’s next? Are you f*****g kidding me?! Gazza?! Yes, contrary to popular belief, Paul Gascoigne managed not one but two chart hits in the wake of ‘Gazzamania’ following Italia ’90. After “Fog On The Tyne” came “Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)” which played up to the Newcastle stereotype with its lyrics such as :
 
Newcastle Town,There’s Geordie Brown
Cheers to the lads who sup it down
They’re Geordie boys, Tough and proud
They take their music strong and loud
North and South, it’s all the same
Gazza’s here to play the game.
Move your body,Tap your cap
Keep on going to the Gazza Rap

Dear oh dear. Had record company BMG really had plans to turn Gazza into a proper pop star? As well as his two singles, he also released an album (albeit one that was universally panned and which failed to make the Top 100 in the charts). And after all, Kevin Keegan had scored a hit back in the late 70s with “Head OVer Heels” and Glenn and Chris (Hoddle and Waddle) had nearly got into the Top 10 with “Diamond Lights” back in 1987 so why not Gazza? The truth was though that Gazza the celebrity was already in decline by this point – his business advisers, on the advice of Spurs manager Terry Venables, had already begun winding down his non-football activities when they cancelled six PAs back in Sep 1990 and there would be no further appearances. The constant limelight  was also beginning to take its toll on his performances on the pitch. Even TOTP host Gary Davies has a dig at him with his “He’s doing better in charts than he is on the football pitch” quip. He wasn’t wrong. Spurs had just lost all three games over the Xmas period and had only won three times since October.

However, just two days after this TOTP was broadcast, they would win 1-0 away to Blackpool in the FA Cup to start a run to the final that was powered almost single handedly by Gazza. He scored six times on the way to Wembley but the final itself (despite a Spurs win) would end in personal devastation. Over pumped and high on adrenaline, Gazza charged around the pitch with no self control until injuring himself in a terrible challenge on *Nottingham Forest’s Gary Charles. If he hadn’t have been stretchered off he would surely have been sent off. For me, he was never quite the same player again. 

“Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)” peaked at No 31.  

*Talking of Nottingham Forest, if you really want the story of a footballer becoming a rock star, look no further than Paul McGregor. Not only was he a striker for Forest in the 90s scoring this winning goal in the UEFA cup in 1996…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JCsOjfW144

…he was also the lead singer of a Britpop band called Merc who attracted the attention of Creation’s Alan McGee and went onto form post-punk band Ulterior and performs under the stage name of Honey. 

Oh not this again?! Despite what host Gary Davies says in his intro, this record was Black Box‘s first four (not three Gary) hit singles all mashed together into one track which they called “The Total Mix”. I think there is an official video for this single but I can’t find it online and in any case, TOTP don’t show it here – instead just playing the track over the video for previous single “Everybody, Everybody”.

I’m guessing this must have been popular in the clubs to have generated enough sales to take it to No 12 in the singles charts. You’d think that releasing a megamix of your previous four hits all taken from the same album (“Dreamland”) would have been the final act of milking said album dry but no! They released another three singles after “The Total Mix” although only one of them (“Strike It Up”) made the Top 40. So that’s a charge sheet of fleecing the record buying public, a lip synching scandal and a lawsuit brought against them for unauthorised sampling. How did this lot sleep at night?

Finally a decent record courtesy of Seal and his hit “Crazy”. In an unlikely turn of events, this would not be the only song featured on the same show to have this title. His first truly solo single after the collaboration with Adamski on “Killer”, this track would cement him in the public’s collective mind as a proper pop star to be taken seriously. Seal always seemed to have a gravitas to him to me, that he wasn’t just another throwaway singer that would be here today and forgotten by Xmas. He delivered on this perception with a No 1 album (which, by the way, was not called “Deep Water” as Gary Davies advised but just “Seal”). Admittedly there is a track called “Deep Water” on it – maybe there had been plans for that to be the title track at some point in fairness to Davies. 

Seal was perfect for TOTP studio performances, setting many a young girl’s pulse racing with his rippling muscles, cool dread hairstyle and those intriguing facial scars. He was born to do this shit. Not sure about his little man bag stuck down the front of his leather trousers though. 

“Crazy” would just miss the top spot peaking at No 2. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7acMwppcfSI

A new act now as we get a first look at C+C Music Factory and their single Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now). This lot were essentially songwriting and record producing duo David Cole and Robert Clivillés (C + C geddit?) who stormed the international charts with this relentless dance thumper. That block busting back beat was like a hammer to your head and once imprinted on your brain, it could not be forgotten or ignored. The vocals were supplied, yet again, by ex -Weather Girl Martha Wash and yet again she was not credited for her contribution on the track. That’s not her in the video but one Zelma Davis. Martha defo needed a better lawyer back then. She finally got a settlement in 1994 when Sony requested that MTV add a disclaimer to the video that credited Wash for vocals and Zelma Davis for ‘visualization’ of the track. Visualization? God, you wouldn’t want that credit would you?! All of this means that essentially, C+C Music Factory were just a US version of Black Box. Still, you can’t argue with their success. I hadn’t realised quite what a big deal this record was at the time. It peaked at No 3 over here but it was No 1 in Austria, Germany, Holland, Switzerland and biggest of all, in their native US. In 2000, it was voted by VH1 into position No 9 in their 100 Greatest Dance Songs poll. 
 
It has been used in countless films and TV shows including the live-action/animated basketball comedy Space Jam whose soundtrack coincidentally also features the aforementioned Seal whose version of Steve Miller Band’s “Fly Like An Eagle” incorporates some lyrics from “Crazy” into it (‘In a sky full of people, Only some want to fly, Isn’t that crazy?’). I’m pretty sure the phrase ‘Everybody Dance now’ also became the title for a series of dance compilation albums around this time. 
 
I wasn’t a massive fan of “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” though. I much preferred the poppier “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” which was a No 4 hit in the Summer. 

 

Still with this Best selling albums of the month feature? Give it a rest lads. OK so, the Top 5 albums of Dec 1990 in the UK were: 
 

1. Madonna – “The Immaculate Collection”

2. Elton John – “The Very Best Of Elton John”

3. Phil Collins – ‘Serious Hits Live”

4. Carreras, Domingo and Pavarotti – “The Three Tenors In Concert”

5. Cliff Richard – “The Event”

This lot were hardly cutting edge were they?! Things That Make You Go Hmmm indeed…

Righto, who’s next? Anthrax?! For the love of God! Why?! These US thrash metal arses had not been higher than No 26 in the UK Top 40 before but somehow got to No 16 with “Got The Time”. I’m guessing it was a case of careful release scheduling (much less sales were required to register a hit in the week immediately following the Xmas rush when everyone is skint but more of that later). 

I don’t recall this at all so I was amazed to discover it’s actually a cover of a Joe Jackson song! Yeah, that Joe Jackson of “Steppin’ Out” and “Is She Really Going Out with Him?” fame. It was a track from his debut album “Look Sharp” and should sound like this…

Ah, that’s much better than that racket Anthrax were making. 

Now to that second sing of the night called “Crazy” but this time it’s by Patsy Cline. Country music legend Patsy has a legacy that completely outstrips her chart statistics. She only ever had one Top 10 hit (the original release of “Crazy” in the US back in 1961) and yet she is known and revered throughout the world. A bit like the musical reverse of my beloved Chelsea’s German striker Timo Werner – his stats say he’s had a decent season (12 goals and 15 assists in all competitions) but I am never confident that he is going to score. Please prove me wrong on Saturday in the Champions League final Timo!

I have to admit I couldn’t tell you any other Patsy Cline songs apart from this one and yet, despite only recording four studio albums before her untimely death in a plane crash in 1963, I counted 42 Greatest Hits compilation albums in her discography page on Wikipedia. I’m guessing the reason for this re-release was to promote one such Best Of package or was it used in yet another film soundtrack maybe? I’m not sure. Anyway, it peaked at No 14 this time around. 

 
Attention Anthrax! This is how you play release schedules against sales patterns to your ultimate chart advantage. I remember the idea that Iron Maiden had some how pulled off some sort of chart-based sleight of hand being a big deal at the time. Presumably releasing a single at the optimum time when the least amount of sales were required for a No 1 record whilst also knowing you had a loyal (and crucially big enough) fan base must have been a deliberate act and wasn’t happy circumstance. The band and their record label must have known what they were doing for them to knock Cliff Richard off the Xmas No 1 spot after just one week. Have their ever been two such polar opposite records to be consecutive No 1s? The juxtaposition of saintly Sir Cliff giving thanks to God followed by a heavy rock band instructing their followers to bring their female offspring to a horrible death was frankly bizarre!  Or was “Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter” about something else entirely? Originally written for the film A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Bruce Dickinson had this to say about it on the songfacts.com website:
 
Here I tried to sum up what I thought Nightmare On Elm Street movies are really about, and it’s all about adolescent fear of period pains. That’s what I think it is – deep down.’
 
How lovely of you Bruce to write a song about the subject in such a sensitive way! Jeez! 
 
Despite it being banned from BBC radio playlists, it spent two weeks at No 1 and in 2005, it was voted the second best No1 single of all time behind Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” by…yes you’ve guessed it…BBC Radio 1 listeners. 
 

From “Bohemian Rhapsody” to “Turtle Rhapsody” by some…thing called Orchestra On The Half Shell. As you may have guessed, this was yet another association with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles phenomenon. It was actually the third hit single to be released from the soundtrack to the film following “Turtle Power” by Partners in Kryme and “Spin That Wheel” by Hi Tek 3 (aka Technotronic). Yet again, I have zero recall of this and am actually surprised the whole franchise was still having hits into 1991. “Turtle Power” was a No1 in the previous Summer wasn’t it? When did the film come out in the UK then? 
 
*checks internet*
 
Huh. Not until Friday 23rd November 1990 so I guess it was still doing the rounds at the cinemas? It’s utter hogwash of course and would peak at a lowly No 36. 

 

 

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qO-hwTu1jM

Order of appearance

Artist

Song

Did I Buy it?

1

Betty Boo

24 Hours

Nope

2

Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life

 

Nah

3

Gazza

Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap)

Great footballer, terrible pop star – no

4

Black Box

The Total Mix

Total shit – no

5

Seal

Crazy

No but I bought the album

6

C+C Music Factory

 

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

 

No

7

Anthrax

Got The Time

I really haven’t – not for this shite

8

Patsy Cline

Crazy

Negative

9

Iron Maiden

Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter

Definitely not

10

Orchestra On The Half Shell

 

Turtle Rhapsody

 

As if

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000w6t7/top-of-the-pops-03011991

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

 

 

TOTP 20 SEP 1990

We’re pushing on through 1990 now and find ourselves entering the final third of September. The year has brought us a dramatic World Cup, a Summer heatwave and a seemingly endless conveyor belt of awful, awful records in the Top 40…but all of those things would pale into insignificance for me as I was exactly one month away from getting married! Yes, my girlfriend and I had been reunited over the Summer when I secured some temporary employment in her hometown of Hull and now we had decided that we weren’t going to be separated again. We were only 22 by this point and none of our friends and peers had got married or were even talking about such a happening that I was aware of but we were determined and confident in each other and our relationship.

We had decided we would move to Manchester. We had very little connection to the city other than we both knew one person each who lived there. To this end, I had applied for jobs in record shops there to have some employment set up for our arrival. Why record shops? I loved music and thought that I would be working in a field that engaged me. I also figured that somehow it would be a springboard into some sort of career in the music business, that I would be headhunted to some record company position and end up running a record label or some such other fantasy. In my defence of this folly, I was very young, just starting out in life and I didn’t have a f*****g clue! The first record shop that I heard back from was the Our Price chain and they invited me to interview for a temporary Xmas sales assistant position. So it came to pass that in this very week of September 1990, I travelled over to Manchester and rocked up at the offices above the Manchester Piccadilly store where I was interviewed by a very pleasant guy (whose name I forget), sat a music quiz and was told that I would be a suitable person to work for Our Price. I remember him asking me if I though the money they were paying was enough (£100 a week as I recall) and I said absolutely! I wasn’t going to talk myself out of the opportunity before I’d even begun. Success!

My other brief whilst I was over in Manchester was to try and find some accommodation for us to live in once we’d moved across the Pennines. On this point I was less successful and I returned to Hull with nothing in place on that subject. Still, one out of two wasn’t bad. I had a start date for late October agreed and had familiarised myself with Manchester a little at least whilst I was staying with one of the two people we knew there for a couple of days. I recall travelling back to her flat on the bus on the Saturday afternoon and wondering how my beloved Chelsea had got on that day. This was before the days of mobile phones, live score apps and the rest. I was unsure about outing myself as a Chelsea fan on public transport in the centre of Manchester but fortunately they had been playing Man City that afternoon so I simply asked somebody on the bus who had a pink ‘un (remember them) sports paper the City result*. Bingo! I was already getting used to this living in Manchester lark!

*It was a 1-1 draw by the way.

As a consequence of all this grown up stuff, I had taken my eye off the ball as to the pop charts and am pretty sure I didn’t even watch this particular TOTP. Let’s see what I missed….

….we start with one of those awful, awful records I referred to earlier. Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain Hollywood were one of those Eurodance outfits that we’d seen so much of in this year like 49ers and Bizz Nizz. The Captain himself was a guy called Tony Dawson-Harrison who earned his nickname when stationed with the US Army in Germany. Hang on! Wasn’t that the same back story as Turbo B from Snap!?

*checks Wikipedia*

Yes, it was! And didn’t Sydney Youngblood of “If Only I Could” fame follow the same route to chart glory?

*checks Wikipedia again*

Yes! What the hell was the deal with American army soldiers based in Germany becoming pop stars in the early 90s?! Anyway, he was joined by vocalist Nancy “Nance” Coolen (not hard to work out where her nickname came from) and a couple of dancers and hey presto! A massive hit called “I Can’t Stand It”. After that single hit big, Captain Hollywood left to pursue a solo career (he had a couple of minor hit singles in the UK in the mid 90s but was a much bigger deal in the rest of Europe) and was replaced by Stacey “Stay-C” Seedorf (they really needed to work on those nicknames a bit more!). From that point on it became a carousel of band members and line up that would put The Fall to shame (well, The Sugababes at least). Apparently they are still a going concern to this day. As for me, I couldn’t stand “I Can’t Stand It” which peaked at No 7 over here.

Wait a minute! What’s going on here? The Stone Roses in the charts with “Fools Gold”? Again? It had already spent 14 weeks in the Top 100 between Nov 1989 and Feb 1990 – why was it re-released so quickly afterwards? Well, after the band’s commercial breakthrough in 1989 with “Made Of Stone”, “She Bangs The Drums” and of course “Fools Gold”, there was a rush to get more of their product out into the marketplace, not all of it with the endorsement of the band. Early single “Sally Cinnamon” on their ex-label Revolver came out again with a video that the band hated. They tried to stop the release and when they couldn’t, it led to the legendary office trashing incident when the band, on route to the recording studio, stopped by the FM Revolver headquarters and trashed the offices by hurling paint all over them and former manager Paul Birch. The inevitable court case followed with the band fined £3,600 each.

After “Elephant Stone” was also released from their iconic debut album came the much heralded single “One Love”. Tipped to be No 1, the band’s mythical aura had slipped after the debacle of the Spike Island concert and it stalled at No 4, unable to dislodge Elton John or indeed get the better of Craig McClachlan! Given its relative failure, was “Fools Gold” re-issued to remind us of their former glories? Its original release had seen it double A-sided with “What The World Is Waiting For” but was it just a standard A -side this time? Or was it just the original release propelled back into the charts by demand? I’m not sure. he waters are muddied further by the fact that it has been re-released at least a further two times since. I’m pretty sure that the debut album was re-released with “Fools Gold” included as an extra track at some point in the early 90s as well.

The 1990 release made it to No 22 in the charts whilst the 1989 original release made it all the way to No 8. I have to say it’s not my favourite Stone Roses tune by some distance, whilst Ian Brown seems to be making quite the fool himself these days without any recourse to gold.

I had to jinx it by mentioning Snap! before didn’t I? Here’s Turbo B and co with their third hit of 1990 “Cult Of Snap”. After “The Power” and “Ooops Up”, this one at least had a differential to it in the form of the African sounding drumbeats and chanting. Indeed, it proved to be popular in that territory as it peaked at No 2 in Zimbabwe. When this TOTP repeat aired, a few social media commentators said that it reminded them of that “In Zaire” song by Johnny Wakelin which I just about remember from my childhood. Let’s see if they had a point then…

…ooh yeah, maybe. Anyway, back to “Cult Of Snap” and I found this one a little less irritating than their previous efforts (maybe it was Johnny Wakelin subconsciously drawing me in from the 70s). It turns out though that Snap! didn’t have the very first release of this track. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

The ever generous Turbo B (who had already been involved in a homophobic instigated nightclub incident by this point) declared of Hi Power’s version in a Smash Hits interview:

“These people, they’re ridiculous. If he was a good rapper, it would be OK but he was a shit rapper, he has no timing. “

What a pleasant man! It’s a bit rich anyway given that “The Power” included the unauthorised sampling of vocals by Jocelyn Brown which led her to commence legal action. The legally complex world of sampling eh?

“Cult Of Snap” peaked at No 8 in the UK.

One of the constants of this blog throughout the 80s and now the 90s has been the persistent existence of hard rock acts within the UK Top 40 whatever the current musical milieu dictated. House music? Not a problem? Overblown ballads from film soundtracks? Out of our way, we’re coming through! Boys bands and teeny bop idols? We give zero f***s! We’re here to play loud rock music and nobody will stop us! The likes of Megadeth, Skid Row and Whitesnake had steadfastly refused to budge from the Top 40, presumably propelled their in the first pace by a sizeable, loyal fan base. Another such act were AC/DC for whom “Thunderstruck” was already their 14th UK Top 40 hit and followed the likes of “Who Made Who” and “Heatseeker” into the Top 20. As I’ve said many time previously, I never got the boat going to AC/DC island and this did nothing for me. I can’t be doing with their song titles for one thing – they all seem to just constant variants on the whole ‘power’ theme.

The song inspired a whole movie called Thunderstruck which was released in 2004 and was a comedy about five guys who go to an AC/DC show in 1991 and agree to bury the first one who dies next to Bon Scott. No really. Look, here’s the trailer….

…yeah. It looks well shit doesn’t it?

Some Breakers next and we start with the return of S’Express. Despite cornering the market as the commercial face of house music when arriving with a bang back in 1988 with the No 1 single “Theme from S-Express”, Mark Moore and co had suffered from a case of diminishing returns ever since with each subsequent single release peaking lower than its immediate predecessor. Their fortunes were not helped by a two year gap between album releases with sophomore long player “Intercourse” not arriving until a whole three years after the bomb that was “Theme from S-Express” had exploded into the charts.

“Nothing To Lose” was actually the second single to be lifted from “Intercourse”, the first had been “Mantra For A State Of Mind” nearly a year before – see what I mean about them not being fussed about maintaining momentum with regular release schedules? Indeed, the four singles that were released from the album covered a period of three years!

I have to say that I didn’t mind “Nothing To Lose” though and my wife liked it so much she bought the 12″. However, their appeal was definitely on the wane. It peaked at No 32 and became their last ever Top 40 hit until a remix of “Theme from S-Express” retitled as “Theme from S’Express – The Return Trip” made the Top 20 in 1996.

Is this the same DNA who were just in the charts with Suzanne Vega with that remix of “Tom’s Diner”? It is apparently. I had no idea they had more than one hit. A quick check of their discography shows that they had five Top 40 entries although this one, “La Serenissima”, seems to be the only one in their own right. Including “Tom’s Diner”, all the other ones were with additional artists with the most successful and famous being Kylie Minogue whom they remixed “Shocked ” for as “Shocked (DNA Remix)” (it did what it said on the tin) in 1991 which peaked at No 6.

Featuring that ubiquitous James Brown “Funky Drummer” sample, “La Serenissima” was actually a cover of a piece by Rondò Veneziano who Wikipedia tells me are ‘an Italian chamber orchestra, specialising in Baroque music, playing original instruments but incorporating a rock-style rhythm section of synthesiser, bass guitar and drums’. That sounds…erm…like an Italian version of ‘Hooked On Classics’?

“La Serenissima” – the Byzantine title for Venice if you’re asking – peaked at No 34.

Who’s up for some Monie Love? Last seen in the charts at the back end of 1989 with her Top 20 single “Grandpa’s Party”, she was back there again with “It’s a Shame (My Sister)” which was her hip-hop take on “It’s a Shame”, the old 70s hit by The Spinners. Is it my imagination or was Monie Love briefly tipped to be the next hip-hop superstar? Well, there’s still a lot of love for Monie online where she is routinely referred to as a hip-hop icon. Interviewed by http://www.pbs.org and asked what her greatest contribution was to hip-hop, she replied:

“Oh, wow, that’s easy for me. My greatest contribution to Hip-Hop was allowing the United States of America to know and understand exactly how far they reach, and how influential they are to children in completely different countries because I am the import. I’m one of the first successful imports on the Hip-Hop tree of life.”

Import? Ah, you see Monie was born Simone Johnson in Battersea in 1970 before relocating to the US permanently where she carved out a successful career in radio. Oh, and I’ve no idea who True Image are/were who are also credited on the record. Sounds like one of Louis Walsh’s X Factor boy bands to me.

After The Stone Roses earlier in the show, we get another of those acts closely associated with the baggy sound of Manchester (although they were actually from a combination of the West Midlands and Northwich in Cheshire). The Charlatans were bona fide pop stars by this point but this was actually their debut appearance on TOTP never actually having made it on the show for previous single “The Only One I Know” despite it going Top 10 (the promo video had to suffice instead). “Then” was a worthy follow up and very nearly made it two Top Tenners on the bounce, peaking just outside at No 12.

Lead singer and now near National Treasure Tim Burgess has obviously been to the barbers with his bowl cut look replaced with something altogether more sharp. The decision to lop off his locks was made because Tim felt that too many people trying to copy his floppy fringe look apparently. These days of course, he has adopted a hairstyle that seems to be a mash up of Andy Warhol and Purdey from The New Avengers. Haircuts aside, he remains a rather wonderful human being.

If this TOTP was a football match, it would be between the indie/dance baggie sound and heavy rock and this would be the match report:

“After The Baggies (no, not WBA!) went 1-0 up early doors via a strike from The Stone Roses, Heavy Rock equalised via the ever reliable AC/DC. Shortly after the break(ers) however, The Baggies were back in front via a good follow up from The Charlatans. Not to be out done, Heavy Rock fired a second equaliser from veterans Iron Maiden.”

Yes, just like AC/DC earlier, Iron Maiden were still rampaging up the charts as the 80s became the 90s. We could have been forgiven for thinking they were on a sabbatical given the solo career of Bruce Dickinson earlier in the year but they were back with new single “Holy Smoke” which was the lead single from their “No Prayer For The Dying” album. By this point, the band’s fan base was so big that they could guarantee a high chart placing for anything they released as demonstrated by “Holy Smoke” which entered the charts at No 3. The band (or possibly their record label) saw a way to exploit this to the max with their next single “Bring Your Daughter… to the Slaughter” which was released in the week after Xmas when there was traditionally a lull in sales after the Xmas rush. This meant that far fewer copies need to be sold to have a massive hit and so it came to pass that Iron Maiden would score their first and only No 1 single as 1991 dawned.

I don’t really recall “Holy Smoke” at all and on hearing it on this TOTP repeat iI did wonder if it was an instrumental. It isn’t but the reason for my confusion was that the show’s producers started the playback of the track from the point of a guitar solo which I’m guessing was a strategic move to omit some of the song’s more profane lyrics which occur early on such as ‘Flies around shit/bees around honey’ and ‘I’ve lived in filth/I’ve lived in sin/and I still smell cleaner than the shit you’re in’. Ooh, they were scary rebels weren’t they Iron Maiden?

Breaking News! There’s a last gasp winner in The Baggies v Heavy Rock match as the former seal the win with a goal from late substitute The Farm. Hang on, it’s gone to VAR! There’s a debate about whether the goal should stand as Stockley Park look at evidence that The Farm were not actually a baggie band and therefore they should be disqualified from playing. According to a Smash Hits interview with Tim Burgess of The Charlatans, he had this to say about the “Groovy Train” hitmakers:

“I saw them live five years ago and they were a crap R’n’ B band.”

Damning stuff. The decision is in though and the goal stands on the basis of this angle from @TOTPFacts:

If holy trinity indie /dance member Happy Mondays were concerned about The Farm, then they must have been baggy! However, I’m pretty sure that I saw an Expedia advert on the TV the other day that used “Groovy Train” as the soundtrack to it which kind of undermines its indie credentials a bit in my book. Apparently, Duran Duran have turned down multiple lucrative requests over the years from various food outlets asking to use “Hungry Like The Wolf” in an advertising campaign but they have always refused. So there you have it – Duran Duran have more credibility than The Farm. Maybe.

Steve Miller Band are still at No 1 with ‘The Joker” holding off Deee-Lite’s tilt at the top for a second week. The previous week of course had raised the whole chart controversy of the two acts being tied for the No 1 position. Using a clearly unfair ruling, “The Joker” was given the number one as its sales had increased more from the previous week. To diffuse chart rigging accusations, the compilers Gallup subsequently announced that “The Joker” had actually sold 8 (EIGHT!) copies more than “Groove Is In The Heart”. How convenient. Did someone have to look for those 8 sales a bit like Donald Trump going looking for missing votes in the US presidential election?

Wanna hear Homer Simpson singing “The Joker”? Of course you do…

Confirming that he wasn’t a one hit wonder, the play out video is “Tunes Splits The Atom” by MC Tunes and 808 State. This track also confirms, Geoff Hurst in the final minute style, the victory for The Baggies over Heavy Rock with both MC Tunes and 808 State hailing from ‘Madchester’. As if that wasn’t enough, “Tunes Splits The Atom” samples a bass riff from “I Am The Resurrection” by The Stone Roses. Done and indeed dusted.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

eqwrt

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain HollywoodI Can’t Stand It…and therefore I didn’t buy it
2The Stone RosesFools GoldNo but I must have it on something
3Snap!The Cult Of SnapI was not a member of this cult
4AC/DCThunderstruckClusterfuck more like! No
5S’ExpressNothing To LoseNo but my wife bough the 12”
6DNALa SerenissimaNah
7 Monie Love It’s A Shame (My Sister) Nope
8The CharlatansThenNo but it’s on my Melting Pot Best Of CD of theirs
9Iron MaidenHoly SmokeThey could blow their smoke out of their arses for all I cared -no
10The FarmGroovy TrainNo but I easily could have
11Steve Miller BandThe JokerIt’s a no
12MC Tunes / 808 StateTunes Splits The AtomNo

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000st47/top-of-the-pops-20091990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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