TOTP 30 APR 1992

It’s the last day of April 1992 at TOTP Rewind and the UK charts are in the middle of a run of being topped by eleven different albums by eleven different artists in consecutive weeks. This was due partly to the release schedules being full of new albums being released by established artists including Bruce Springsteen, Def Leppard and The Cure. I’ll include Annie Lennox in that category as well despite “Diva” being her debut solo album. Right Said Fred’s “Up” made it to the top spot off the back of “Deeply Dippy” giving them a No 1 double whammy. There are two Greatest Hits albums in there courtesy of Madness and Lionel Richie, a loyal fan based generated chart topper from Iron Maiden, a Eurovision Song Contest driven album from the UK’s entry Michael Ball and of course the ubiquitous Simply Red. The only album in this sequence that was a real surprise came from Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine.

The singles chart was stagnant by comparison with only twelve different songs making it to No 1 all year, the lowest number since 1962. Were any of this week’s offerings on TOTP amongst them? Well, yes obviously there’s this week’s actual No 1 but apart from that is obviously what I meant!

We start with Marc Almond whose version of “The Days Of Pearly Spencer” is ripping up the charts and currently residing in the No 4 spot. Host Tony Dortie promotes it as a future No 1 later on. Was his prediction correct? Well, *SPOILER* no but No 4 was a damn fine effort by Marc. With the exception of his No 1 in 1989 with Gene Pitney, his biggest ever solo hit before this was his cover of Jacques Brel’s “Jacky” which peaked at No 17.

Like Vanessa Williams the other week, Marc is backed by a seated orchestra in full performance dress code. The effect is rather spoilt though as Marc is isolated away from the orchestra on a small circular stage and surrounded by the studio audience clapping along enthusiastically. The sound of the hand claps is rather incongruous drowning out as it does the strings of the orchestra. Marc gives a professional turn though, all serious mannerisms and intense staring at the camera.

Marc would only make the UK Top 40 would more time in 1995 with “Adored And Explored” but continues to release material both in his own right and as part of a rejuvenated Soft Cell.

It’s another one of those live satellite link ups next. I’m not sure they have quite been the success that new producer Stanley Appel must have hoped they would be. It all seems very clunky and the talky bits between the presenters and artist are excruciating. That’s if they can even hear each other. In the last such link up, either Roxette couldn’t hear guest hosts Smashie and Nicey due to a technical fault or they were ignoring them.

This week’s ‘satellite’ artist are En Vogue who are coming at us live from LA on the legendary Soul Train TV show. We hadn’t seen En Vogue for a whole two years since their debut hit single “Hold On”. I’d pretty much forgotten all about them but suddenly they were back with a track that would become another huge success in “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)”.

I remember not being sure about this track when I first heard it – I think it was all those ‘ooh bops’ and that a capella breakdown half way through. It was a bit too far removed from my pop sensibilities. However, my wife loved it and I can see why now. If you Google this song, the word that keeps coming up in all the online reviews is ‘sassy’ and it’s a spot on description. These ladies were all about sassy and female empowerment.

The lead single from their “Funky Divas” album, it was a hell of a way to announce that they were back. A No 2 hit in the US and No 4 in the UK, this wasn’t even the best single released from the album for me with that honour going to anti-prejudice anthem ”Free Your Mind”.

Their performance here is great but was it live? It almost sounds too perfect. Maybe you could get away with miming if you weren’t actually in the TOTP studio and therefore didn’t have to abide by the live vocal policy? I’m sure that’s the loophole that Boris Johnson’s legal team would be pursuing.

At the start of this post I commented on how the album charts were being dominated by established artists but was that true of the Top 40 singles? Well, in this show we’ve got some R’n’B, some goth rock, some metal, two 80s acts showing there was still life in them into the 90s and…erm… Right Said Fred. And this lot who presenter Claudia Simon described as when rave meets reggae whilst also claiming that TOTP brought us all kinds of music. Hard to dispute that given tonight’s running order. Fellow presenter Tony Dortie said it was his favourite current Top 40 hit. SL2 were the act that were the apple of Tony’s eye and their hit was “On A Ragga Tip”. This was the second consecutive hit for these London hardcore ravers after 1991’s “DJs Take Control /Way In My Brain” and would be the biggest of their career when it peaked at No 2.

Not being much of a rave nor reggae fan, this didn’t really do anything for me. Apparently it’s built around a sample from Jah Screechy called “Walk And Skank”. I’ve no idea who Jah Screechy is or was but I’m betting that you can’t see his song title for the first time without doing a double take after reading it as something else completely!

In this performance the dancer on the left clearly loses her place in her moves at one point and has to count herself back in. Don’t get me wrong, they’re impressively complicated steps but it was quite noticeable.

What’s the difference between The Beatles and The Sisters Of Mercy? Yes, obviously one were the lovable mop tops who’s sound ate the world and the others are some dour goths from Leeds but that’s not what I meant. No, I was after the answer that one gave up touring to concentrate on recording studio albums and the other gave up recording studio albums to concentrate on touring. Incredibly, Andrew Eldritch and co have not released any new material since 1993 due to a dispute with their record label EastWest. The band went on strike against the label in 1993. Why? It seems to be about accusations against the label of incompetence including a disastrously planned tour with Public Enemy. Unfortunately for the Sisters, they still owed the label two albums according to their contract and were forced to re-record 1983 single “Temple Of Love” as “Temple Of Love 92” for a compilation of their early back catalogue called “Some Girls Wander By Mistake”. To jazz it up a bit (can you jazz up goth rock?) they’ve got in Ofra Haza of “Im Nin’alu” fame on backing vocals.

This version went straight into the charts at No 3 which seemed slightly surprising to me back then and still does today. In my teenage years, going goth was a cool statement to make. I flirted with the fringes of it but never quite had the conviction to dye my hair black so I’m hardly a knowledgeable commentator on this but it still seems an unlikely chart high. Maybe I’m doing them a disservice. I’m sure they had/have a loyal fan base of hardcore devotees.

A second compilation album, “A Slight Case Of Overbombing”, released in 1993 covered the band’s back catalogue from 1984 onwards but their recording contract stipulated that they still owed EastWest two studio albums. In the end, the label accepted two albums under the moniker of SSV which were a project constructed by Eldritch just to fulfil their contractual obligations. The albums consisted of just some synths, no percussion and some mumbled, spoken word vocals by Eldritch on a loop. EastWest accepted the master tapes without listening to them first. The recordings were never released. This story reminds me of that scene in 24 Hour Party People where Shaun Ryder and Happy Mondays manager Nathan meet Tony Wilson in Dry bar in Manchester to deliver the master tapes for the band’s eagerly awaited “Yes Please” album. Listening to the tapes, Wilson starts getting into the first track until he realises there are no vocals on them with Ryder and manager giggling in the background as they’ve spent all the money Wilson fronted for the album to be recorded in Barbados on drugs.

Eldritch looks here like he’s been to a health spa since the last time we saw him on the show when he looked like a living waxwork. I guess even goth rock gods have to grow up eventually .

I guess there was no way that TOTP wasn’t going to show Michael Jackson’s video for “In The Closet” again given the chance. Although it’s only at No 8 in the charts, that’s good enough for a second outing for it. The track was actually credited to ‘Michael Jackson and Mystery Girl’ the latter of whom provides some whispered vocals in the middle. It turns out that was Princess Stéphanie of Monaco who had a brief career as a pop star in the 80s but who was completely washed up by 1992. Maybe she thought she could relaunch herself off the back of this Jackson track. If so, might have been BBC a good idea to get yourself a proper credit rather than a lame pseudonym. Hands up who else now has the execrable “Mysterious Girl” by Peter Andre in their head after reading the above paragraph? Many apologies.

Now this next link was unusual. The Cure were meant to be playing in the studio performing “Friday I’m In Love” according to Tony Dortie but there’s a problem. Singer Robert Smith is not available due to illness so they’re going to have to play the video instead. Nothing that out of the ordinary except…why are band members Simon Gallup and Perry Bamonte in the studio to deliver this news? Was Robert taken ill at the very last moment? What gives? Simon and Perry look they’d rather be bungee jumping into a live volcano than being interviewed on TOTP. They also don’t seem too convincing with their story. Were they not on the level? Here’s @TOTPFacts:

Cheeky scamps! As for their song, this is surely one of the band’s most radio friendly and therefore well known singles. The chaotically simple video with its fast cuts, set pieces and ever changing backdrop curtains just adds to its charm and won an MTV Video Music Award. The Cure were never as big commercially again as they were in this moment but then Robert Smith probably wouldn’t have had it any other way.

They’ve moved the Breakers again back to that incongruous position just before the No 1. There’s also four of them which is deeply unhelpful to this blogger who is already behind schedule writing up all these TOTP repeats. The intro for this feature sees Tony Dortie and Claudia Simon as disembodied heads on multiple giant video screens which was presumably meant to be cutting edge at the time… or was it just a blatant Max Headroom rip off? The script for the intro sounds like it was written just 10 seconds before being spoken with Extreme described as having “one hot song” and Metallica being about to “rock in at 12”. Oh dear.

And it’s Metallica that we start with “Nothing Else Matters”, the third single from their eponymous ‘black’ album. Apparently this is one of the LA heavy metallers best known and most loved songs but I’m afraid it must have passed me by. I’m trying to remember who I was working with in the Market Street Our Price shop in Manchester at the time who was a big rock fan who might have played the album in store but I can’t think of any which may explain my unawareness of it. Hang on! Our Price legend Knoxy was there and he was a true rocker. He must have given the album a spin a few times surely? I loved working with Knoxy. King of the one liners (not all of them PC back then I have to say) and possessor of an epic quiff. He later grew a huge mane of rock god hair. Top bloke.

“Nothing Else Matters” peaked at No 6.

Now this was a chart (ahem) curiosity. Back in 1987, Curiosity Killed The Cat were the dog’s bollocks when it came to being the next happening chart stars. “Down To Earth” took them to No 3 and their debut album was a chart topper. The newspapers and glossy music mags were full of these four groovy hipsters (not that sort of hipster!) with their good looks and danceable pop tunes especially lead singer Ben Volpeliere- Pierrot and his ever present beret. By the end of the year though, they were pretty much done with just one further Top 40 hit arriving in 1989.

A 90s comeback was surely not on anybody’s cards but never underestimate the power of a cover version. Trimmed down to a three piece and with a truncated band name of just Curiosity, they recorded Johnny Bristol’s innuendo heavy 1974 No 3 hit “Hang On In There Baby”. They may not have had nine lives like the felines that inspired their original name but they must have used up at least three to be back in the charts five years after their first hit. This really was a last hurrah though despite the single equalling the chart peak of Bristol’s original. Two subsequent singles failed to scratch the Top 40 and a third album “Back To Front” went straight in the bin like so much cat litter.

While the rest of the band gave up on the idea of being pop stars after that, Ben Volpeliere- Pierrot clung on to the notion that he still was and carried on performing at retro festivals. I even saw him at one of those 80s Rewind concerts in Manchester around 2001. I think he was advertised as ‘Ben from Curiosity Killed The Cat’. He was first on a bill of about seven acts. Miaow!

It’s that “hot song” from Extreme next. “Song For Love” was the fifth and final single to be released from the band’s “Pornograffitti” album and *guilty pleasure alert* possibly my favourite. It’s completely prosaic and hackneyed but I kind of like it anyway. It sounds like the band had been listening to “God Gave Rock ‘n’ Roll To You” by Argent that was covered by Kiss for Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey which I also had a soft spot for.

The band would return later in the year with their concept album “III Sides To Every Story” which despite receiving acclaim from their fan base sold poorly due to the absence of a genre bending, mainstream appealing hit single like “More Than Words” had been.

After opening the show last week, EMF find themselves with just a few seconds in the Breakers this week. Last week’s appearance was billed as an ‘Exclusive’ so I’m guessing their “Unexplained EP” hadn’t actually entered the charts at that point. It’s in at No 18 this week. Its spot in the Breakers didn’t do much for its chart prospects though as it didn’t get any higher.

I’m still not convinced about the legitimacy of the Breakers. In reality it was probably just the second tier of exposure that the show’s producers could offer to record labels wanting to promote their acts with the first tier obviously being a full in studio performance or playing of the promo video.

There’s a weird addendum at the end of the section when Claudia Simon bigs up the diversity of artists featured but reserves a special mention for one of them when she says “as for Extreme, they are just so good”. Odd.

Right Said Fred are at No 1 again with “Deeply Dippy” and the talk on Twitter was all about what Richard Fairbrass was wearing which seemed to be some sort of Lycra onesie. More accurately it was what his outfit highlighted that was the hot topic of conversation. It’s hard to unsee his package once you’ve noticed it. And how could you fail to notice it. Not since Stuart Adamson of Big County wore his tight white strides back in the 80s had such a lunchbox been spied. I think this tweet from Lee Roberts probably summed up most people’s reaction:

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Marc AlmondThe Days Of Pearly SpencerI did not
2En VogueMy Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)Yes this is in the singles box but I think my wife bought it
3SL2On A Ragga TipNah
4Sisters Of MercyTemple Of Love 92Nope
5Michael JacksonIn the ClosetNegative
6The CureFriday I’m In LoveNot the single but I have a Greatest Hits of theirs with it on
7MetallicaNothing Else MattersBut neither did this – no
8CuriosityHang On In There BabyNo
9ExtremeSong For LoveLiked it, didn’t buy it
10EMFThe Unexplained EPIt’s a no
11Right Said FredDeeply DippyAnd a final no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00149b0/top-of-the-pops-30041992

TOTP 23 APR 1992

The curse of Adrian Rose has struck again meaning we have missed the 16 April show. As such we arrive in the week that the race for the last ever First Division title was decided before the juggernaut of the Premier League arrived the following season. The day before this TOTP aired. Manchester United had suffered an unexpected 1-0 loss at relegation threatened West Ham. This set up a scenario whereby title rivals Leeds could become champions at the weekend if they won and United lost again. Both teams were due to play on the Sunday with Leeds playing first away at Sheffield United and Man Utd facing the daunting task of a trip to their old enemy Liverpool.

As it turned out, at the same time that Leeds were playing their game, I was also involved in a match of high stakes when I played for an Our Price team against a team of record company reps on some playing field somewhere in the Greater Manchester area. I have very little recall of the game (certainly not the result) though I do remember thinking I could be watching Sunday morning TV rather than doing this shit for absolutely nobody’s benefit. As we left the field after somebody had decided enough was enough (there was no ref to call full time), Leeds were securing a 3-2 win courtesy of a ludicrous own goal.

Later that day I watched ITV’s coverage of Man Utd 0-2 loss at Liverpool which made Leeds the champions. They had a TV crew at Leeds striker Lee Chapman’s house who had some of his team mates with him including the talismanic Eric Cantona and dour Yorkshire man David Batty. As the final whistle sounded at Anfield, a live link to Chapman’s living room enabled an immediate reaction from the Leeds players. Asked how he felt at winning the title by the interviewer, Batty replied “well, it’s a bonus”. Now that’s what I call an exclusive scoop!

TOTP start the show this week with their own exclusive scoop – the return of EMF! Hmm. The underwhelmed David Batty or a new EMF single – which was the bigger scoop? I think we’ll call that one a draw. Don’t get me wrong, I loved “Unbelievable” it’s just that everything that came after that was all a bit samey but not quite as good. Some 18 months on from their moment of magnificence, were we all still on tenterhooks awaiting new material from the band.? Whether we were or not, new material was what we got and not just one song but four in the form of the “Unexplained EP”. I say four new songs but one of them was a cover of Iggy And The Stooges’ “Search And Destroy” but let’s not be pedantic.

The song performed here is “Getting Through” and it didn’t tinker with the EMF formula too much, basically being yet another rehash of everything they had gone before. The result wasn’t terrible just a bit…meh. Lead singer James still has his terrible trademark headgear on and nothing seems to have moved forward at all.

In September they released their second album “Stigma” (which included “Getting Through”) to a lukewarm reaction when it peaked at No 19 and spent just two weeks on the chart before dropping as fast as David Batty’s excitement levels.

The “Unexplained” EP peaked at No 18.

Not this fella again! I think this is the third time for Curtis Stigers and his second hit “You’re All That Matters To Me”. This performance is a carbon copy of the one he did the other week even down to the white shirt and waistcoat combo he’s wearing and has forced the members of his backing band to as well. He’s even in in the same spot in the running order just after the Top 10 countdown. He has changed his backing singers and has got them a bit more coordinated in their dance moves although it’s pretty much your basic nerd shuffle. Enough of this. Next!

Well, this is as far removed from Curtis Stigers as it gets. Here’s Iron Maiden! You have to hand it to these lads, they had a loyal fan base and knew how to utilise them. Since 1988, the chart peaks of their seven singles released in that period were:

3-5-6-6-3-1-2

The final number in that sequence relates to this track “Be Quick Or Be Dead”, the lead single from their ninth studio album “Fear Of The Dark”. Never mind EMF sticking to a formula, this lot had been churning out variations on the same theme for years. I know that opinion is heresy to their fans but, like I say, it’s just an opinion.

The CD single came with a hidden extra track called “Bayswater Ain’t A Bad Place To Be” which is basically Bruce Dickinson ripping the piss out of the band’s manager Rod Smallwood in an accent that sounds a bit like Bill Oddie. I managed about two and a half minutes of the eight minutes and eight seconds of it. Can you do any better?

They’ve moved the Breakers to a more sensible position in the show as opposed to just before the No 1 so here they are starting with Marc Almond and “The Days Of Pearly Spencer”. I had no idea initially that this wasn’t an Almond original but it is of course a cover version of a David McWilliams tune. Who? Well, he was a Belfast singer songwriter who scored a No 1 hit with his “Harlem Lady” single in France but remained largely unknown in the UK. “The Days Of Pearly Spencer” was on the B-side of “Harlem Lady” and gained a lot of attention due to a massive advertising campaign launched by his manager Phil Solomon but it failed in the UK as Radio 1 refused to play it due to Solomon’s close ties to pirate radio station Radio Caroline. Supposedly written about a homeless man in Ballymena, County Antrim, its heavily stylised chorus came about from recording McWilliams’ vocals using a telephone line from a phone box near the studio.

Marc’s version was taken from his “Tenement Symphony” album and was quirky enough to prick the curiosity of the record buying public who made it a huge No 4 hit. Considering the majority of his solo singles were minor hits at best and often chart flops (with the obviously huge exception of “Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart”) this was both a big deal and very surprising. Unfortunately the single’s success didn’t translate to the album which peaked at a low lowly No 39.

If Leeds United were having a stellar season in 1991/92 finishing as First Division champions, then Kylie Minogue was having a distinctly mid table time of it. Her album “Lets Get To It” had seriously underperformed with two of the four singles from it not making the UK Top 10, the first time this had ever happened to her.

The second of those singles was “Finer Feelings” which at the time the critics were talking up as indicating a more mature direction that she would surely be following once her much predicted uncoupling from Stock, Aitken and Waterman was complete. Maybe the press was just reacting to the fact that the lyrics referred to ‘sex’ and ‘sexual healing’. Like “Word Is Out” before it, “Finer Feelings” is very much a forgotten Kylie single although it was also a line in the sand as a demarcation between her eras. Her next studio album would be on dance label Deconstruction and would usher in a whole new phase of her career.

After I’ve moaned on about the Breakers section bring a waste of time recently with it featuring singles that would amount to very little chart wise and which would not be seen on TOTP again, it seems to have been repurposed to highlight those that have been on the show as recently as the previous week and are now moving up the charts. Two of this week’s Breakers fall into that category. Kylie was the first and now comes Michael Ball who was on the show just seven days before.

After a brief but very successful time in the charts during 1989 when “Love Changes Everything” was a No 2 hit, you could have been forgiven for thinking that was it for The Ballster as a pop star. However, never underestimate the influence of the Eurovision Sing Contest. Well, at least not in the early 90s.

After the failure of Samantha Janus the previous year, the BBC took the decision of who would represent the UK out of the public’s hands and pre chose Ball. They did though allow us to choose which song he would sing out of a choice of eight. Yes, that meant that A Song For Europe show this year featured a lot of Michael Ball! “One Step Out Of Time” was the track given the honour of representing the country and what a fluffy, little lightweight thing it was. I never felt like it really suited Ball’s voice but maybe that’s because all I’d ever heard him sing before that was “Love Changes Everything”. However, it very nearly did the business on the big night coming in second to Ireland (obviously).

The sliding sections video has a feel of Duran Duran’s “Rio” to it though Michael was hardly the Simon Le Bon type. An album was released off the back of the single’s success which included “Love Changes Everything” despite it having been released as a single a whole three years prior. And if you thought Michael Ball was bad, the following year’s entry was Sonia!

The second mention in this section for the Deconstruction label comes courtesy of KKlass. These arch mixers had a massive hit in their own right at the back end of 1991 with “Rhythm Is A Mystery” so they thought they’d have a go at doing it all over again with follow up single “So Right”. I don’t remember this track so couldn’t tell you how this went at all but I’m guessing it sounds exactly the same as the first hit.

*listens to 30 seconds of the track*

Yep. I was right. Next!

Rivalling Leeds United in the annus mirabilis stakes in 1992 were Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine. They even named their No 1 album (No 1!) after the year -“1992 – The Love Album”. How did this happen? A fervently indie act with a defiantly anti-mainstream sound and subversive image as chart topping pop stars? Well, being signed to major label Chrysalis Records who picked up the band after the demise of Rough Trade probably helped but was it just that? Was there also a desire for something reactionary in an era of the conventional and the ordinary that CUSM were in the right place at the right time to take advantage of? Was it to do with their infamous Philip Schofield felling appearance at the Smash Hits Awards show a few months earlier? Or was it just a case of a talented duo with some great songs naturally rising to the top?

Whatever the reason, “Only Living Boy In New Cross” would become the band’s first and only Top 10 hit. A clear play on words of the Simon & Garfunkel song “The Only Living Boy In New York”, its performance here is reminiscent of some of those ‘party atmosphere’ shows of the mid 80s with balloons galore and a stage full of audience members. Didn’t The Smiths do something similar in terms of having a crowd up there with them? I’m pretty sure Wheatus did years later whilst performing “Teenage Dirtbag” on the show.

Inevitably with all peaks, their commercial zenith couldn’t last and it didn’t. Their descent came about just as they’d reached their high point. Headlining that year’s Glastonbury Festival was confirmation of their elevated status and yet it went sour after Fruitbat, infamous rugby tackler of Philip Schofield, insulted the legendary Michael Eavis after being annoyed that their set was cut short due to some bands who were on before them overrunning. It led to a lifetime ban from the festival.

“Only Living Boy In New Cross” peaked at No 7.

I hate it when the show has an ‘exclusive’ showing of a Michael Jackson video because there’s so much to read about them online whilst doing research for the blog. Anyway, here’s the next one for the third single from his “Dangerous” album “In The Closet”. If the internet had been around in 1992 like it is today then this song title would have been the ultimate click bait. Michael Jackson? In The Closet? Is he coming out of said closet? However the song didn’t reveal anything about Jacko’s sexual orientation but instead dealt with the story of a clandestine relationship. The lyrics were pretty suggestive though with lines like ‘Cause if it’s aching you have to rub it’ and ‘touch me there, make the move’ but then it was co-written with Teddy Riley who also penned such salacious tunes as “Rump Shaker” and “No Diggity”.

I have to say that although I knew there was a Michael Jackson song called “In The Closet”, I couldn’t remember at all how it went. Listening to it now I forgive myself as it’s entirely forgettable. Also suffering from amnesia was Jackson himself who forgot to put any tune into the track – it’s as if it was created purely just to construct a dance routine for the video. Ah yes , the ‘exclusive’ video – that’s crap as well. It’s just Jacko and Naomi Campbell cavorting about on a sepia tinted set. Compared to the mini epics that were his last two videos for “Black And White” and “Remember The Time”, it’s a huge let down.

“In The Closet” only made No 8 on the UK Top 40 and the next two singles did even worse before the trend was reversed with a perfectly timed Xmas release of saccharine ballad “Heal The World” – basically a rewrite of “We Are The World” – just missing the top spot when it peaked at No 2.

We have a new No 1 after eight weeks of Shakespear’s Sister sitting on the throne. Actually, Right Said Fred were No 1 the week before but we missed that show due to the Adrian Rose conundrum but they’re still there this week with “Deeply Dippy”. Now in an interview on the songfacts.com website, the Fairbrass brothers told the story that they nearly toured with Faith No More. Apparently both sides liked what the other did and there was a definite motivation to make it happen but management got cold feet. They were also rumoured to be offered a support slot with Michael Jackson but the band were put off by all the rules, regulations and restrictions surrounding Jackson and being in his presence. Both stories got me thinking about unlikely touring partners or support acts. Surely the most infamous one is Jimi Hendrix supporting The Monkees but there must be other outlandish examples surely?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1EMFUnexplained EPNope
2Curtis StigersYou’re All That Matters To MeNah
3Iron MaidenBe Quick Or Be DeadCertainly not
4Marc AlmondThe Days Of Pearly SpencerLiked it, didn’t buy it
5Kylie MinogueFiner FeelingsNo but I think my wife had it on a Greatest Hits album
6Michael BallOne Step Out Of TimeDid I bollocks!
7K-KlassSo RightSo wrong – no
8Carter The Unstoppable Sex MachineOnly Living Boy In New CrossDon’t think I did
9Michael JacksonIn The ClosetIn the bin more like – no
10Right Said FredDeeply DippyNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001499y/top-of-the-pops-23041992

TOTP 26 SEP 1991

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase ‘end of an era’? Alex Ferguson finally retiring as manger of Manchester United? The Beatles splitting? Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts sadly passing away the other week? How about the character of Mike Baldwin being killed off in Coronation Street? Or…the ‘Year Zero’ revamp of that great pop music institution TOTP? I think tonight’s host Gary Davies has justification for describing the 26 Sep 1991 show as the end of an era. This was the final show (until the changes were reversed in 1994) of that grand old programme being presented by Radio 1 DJs. They were replaced by a group of younger unknowns by incoming executive producer Stanley Appel who was hoping to bring about a new youthful feel to a show that had struggled to accommodate the new trends in popular music surrounding dance / house / rave genres. There were more cosmetic changes in a brand new theme tune (“Now Get Out of That”), title sequence and logo and, as Gary Davies advises at the end of the show, the entire programme was moved from BBC Television Centre in London to BBC Elstree Centre in Borehamwood.

I do feel a twinge of sympathy for Davies. He’d been hosting TOTP since about 1983 I think (not long after he joined Radio 1 anyway) and had always been a safe pair of hands* and must have thought he had a shot at stardom across the pond in the US in October 1987 when the CBS television network decided to try an American version of the show. There were link ups with the UK version which were always hosted by Davies. Sadly for Gary, the experiment was short-lived and the US TOTP was cancelled. By the time the old guard of presenters were reinstalled in 1994, Davies had moved to Virgin Radio meaning this is his very last regular TOTP show.

*Except for the Dixie Peach suntan comment of course

Well, enough of the sentiment and on with the show and we start with …who the hell is this? P.J.B. featuring Hannah And Her Sisters? I have literally never heard this in my life before and thank the Lord I hadn’t because now I’ve had their version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” inflicted on my ears, life in this wretched country at this horrible period of history just got even worse. This is vile – beastly even. Just 100% crapola. Who’s idea was it to do a dance version of the Simon & Garfunkel classic? Well, it turns out it was a bloke called Peter John Bellotte (the titular P.J.B.) who actually had quite an impressive CV. Most notably, he’d worked with Giorgio Moroder producing the peak era Donna Summer sound of “I Feel Love”, “Love to Love You Baby” and “Hot Stuff”. He went on to work with the likes of Janet Jackson, Cliff Richard, Shalamar and Tina Turner and in 2004 was honoured at the Dance Music Hall of Fame ceremony where he was inducted for his many outstanding achievements and contributions as producer and songwriter.

Back in 1991 though, he was responsible for this shit. As for Hannah and Her Sisters, as wells being the name of Woody Allen’s 1986 comedy drama flick, they did actually feature a Hannah who was Hannah Jones who would achieve some hits on the US Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart at the end of the 90s. This dreadful nonsense however peaked at No 21 and whoever bought it should conduct their own root and branch investigation into exactly what occurred here.

Could there be a more appropriate song to help bring the curtain down on this era of TOTP? It can only be “Wind Of Change” by The Scorpions. Of course, it was a curtain of a different kind (the iron one) that was the behind the origin of the song. Written during a visit to Moscow in 1989, these German rockers were amazed at how different the political and cultural climate felt just 12 months on from their previous visit there. The opening lines:

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change

were a literal running commentary of a boat trip that the band took down the Moskva river that runs through Moscow, passing the sights like Gorky Park which sits on the shore of the Moskva and witnessing first hand those changes occurring. Lead singer Klaus Meine started whistling that melody and the rest of the song came quickly. Apparently, the band’s record label weren’t keen on that infamous whistling intro and the band tried to record the song without it by reverting to a traditional heavy rock intro akin to the band’s reputation but when that wasn’t working they returned to the original song opening. I seem to recall the song getting a bit of stick for that intro, that it somehow undermined it. I’m not sure why as their are loads of examples of songs with whistling in them that are credible. There’s even a direct rock comparison in the form of “Patience” by Guns N’ Roses and then there’s the classic “Dock Of The Bay” by Otis Redding. Maybe their label were concerned it might take the song in more of an almost novelty direction like Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” or “Walk Like An Egyptian” by The Bangles.

Whatever their reasoning, between them and the band, they arrived at the correct decision commercially speaking as the song went on to sell 14 million copies worldwide. More than the sales though and whatever you think about the sound of the song, its legacy was its cultural and political significance becoming a clarion call for freedom and a message of hope.

As for me, I don’t think I knew anything about The Scorpions before “Wind Of Change” despite them having been around since the mid 60s. Did I like the song? About as much as liked the nasty scorpion spider graphic that the TOTP producers shoved over the start of the video. Let’s hope that sort of nonsense disappeared in the ‘year zero’ revamp.

It’s the tiny person with a massive voice and an even bigger hit next as we get a live vocal from Rozalla on “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)”. So ubiquitous was this tune that I could have sworn it was a much bigger hit than its actual No 6 peak. Maybe my confusion is because it hung around the charts for so long – ten weeks in total on the Top 40 and four consecutive weeks inside the Top 10. Eight years later, it did become a bigger hit of sorts when it was slowed down and sampled by Australian film director Baz Luhrmann on his Number 1 hit “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”.

After starting a trend for female vocalists fronting rave anthems to remove their tops in her last performance that was copied by Jorinde Williams of Oceanic, Rozalla tweaks the routine this week by suggesting her outer garment is about to come off but then keeping it on for the duration of the song. Maybe the stuffy TOTP producers had warned her off that type of thing!

REM are next with “The One I Love“. When it comes to misunderstood songs, this one must be up there with the best. If you didn’t know this song, you could be forgiven for thinking it’s a heartfelt love letter to a loved one judging by its title but one listen or perusal of the lyrics would tell a different story of manipulating people.

Any discussion of misunderstood songs must include “Born In The USA” by Bruce Springsteen and “Every Breath You Take” by The Police of course. The Boss’s song is often misconstrued as an anthem of patriotism when it’s actually telling the story of the difficulties and marginalisation Vietnam veterans felt when returning from the war. The song’s fist pumping sound led to many a politician asking if they could use the song to soundtrack an election campaign starting with Ronald Reagan in 1984. Bruce refused. Had Reagan heard this version of the song, maybe even his little brain would have realised it wasn’t really an appropriate song choice:

As for “Every Breath You Take”, my favourite misunderstanding of this song is the time when dumb as mud X Factor judge Louis Walsh told some hopeful after they had performed it on one of the live shows that they had ‘made it their own’. It’s a song about stalking you imbecile!

REM would release one final single (“Radio Song”) from their “Out Of Time” album before 1991 was up returning just a year later with the stunning “Automatic For The People” album.

Poor Gary Davies is having to introduce some right old shit on his valedictory TOTP appearance. After the car crash of the “Bridge Over Troubled Water” cover version at the top of the show, here’s that dreadful danced up remix of “Nutbush City Limits” by Tina Turner. Released as “Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version)”, even the song’s new title grates.Why did it need the word version in there? Surely ’91 remix’ is what it should have been called? Also, the video is so lazy as well. Some old footage of Tina performing the song back in the day intercut with her jigging about to the track in the present day. Throw in some shots of lorries driving about (on their way to the city limits perchance?) and that was all the video director thought was needed.!

“Nutbush City Limits (The 90s Version)” peaked at No 23.

Back on a dance tip now with Bizarre Inc who are ‘avin’ it large with their hit “Such A Feeling”. By ‘avin’ it large, obviously I mean having two dancers at the front of the stage doing some arm-waving whilst the three guys in the band mime playing keyboards. Literally that’s all the performance is. Fine if you’re off on one in a club but a bit ridiculous looking for a prime time TV music show. I wonder if Davies was secretly relieved not have to present this type of thing anymore. Leave it for the kids and all that. He himself was approaching 34 by this point. which seems very young to the 53 year old me looking back but he might have been pushing it a bit as a purveyor of what the youth were into. I think I went to a nightclub just once after I turned 30.

“Such A Feeling” peaked at No 13.

Now here was an antidote to all that pesky dance music doing the rounds. Since his surprise No 1 single “Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart” with Gene Pitney at the end of the 80s, Marc Almond had not been a frequent visitor to the UK Top 40. He’d only racked up one No 29 hit (“A Lover Spurned”) from his “Enchanted” album in 1990 since then. So what do you do if you need a comeback hit single? You record a cover version of course! Being Marc Almond though, this was no ordinary cover. “Jacky” was a Jacques Brel song originally recorded by the Belgian singer-songwriter as “La chanson de Jacky” in 1965 and Marc was a massive Brel fan having already released an album of covers of his songs back in 1989 (although curiously it didn’t feature “Jacky”). The version that was more known to UK audiences though was the English translated one by Scott Walker who released it as his first solo single in 1967.

Marc’s version is definitely more Walker than Brel albeit with an obtrusive backbeat stapled onto it and a synthesised choir effect tagged on the end. It’s gloriously ridiculous and rather splendid for it. The lyrics are exquisitely bonkers and therefore wholly memorable. For example:

I’d have to get drunk every night
And talk about virility
With some old grandmother
That might be decked out like a Christmas tree
And no pink elephant I’d see
Though I’d be drunk as I could be

Excellent! Then of course, there is the killer hook in the chorus of Cute in a stupid ass way or rather Cute (pause for dramatic effect) in a stupid ass way. I’m sure this caused a trend amongst some young men to wear very skinny T-shirts with the legend ‘Cute in a stupid ass way’ emblazoned across them. The only thing that disappoints me about Almond’s version is that he doesn’t do the Scott Walker phrasing of ‘Jacky’ where he softens the ‘J’ which I always found very affecting.

“Jacky” peaked at No 17 and was the lead single from his first and only album for Warner Brothers “Tenement Symphony” which would implausibly spawn another hit single the following year with another cover version, this time “The Days of Pearly Spencer” which was originally recorded by David McWilliams. Despite including those hits, the album was not a big seller peaking at No 39.

A third TOTP appearance for Sabrina Johnston and “Peace” next. Interesting to note the difference in her performance here and that of Rozalla earlier. Sabrina’s backed by four dancers behind her whilst Rozalla was up there all on her tod.

With the greatest respect to Sabrina, maybe she needed to be helped out in the dance moves department as she comes across like Tina Turner meets Mrs Overall from Acorn Antiques when she’s wigging out.

Not only was she outdone by Rozalla’s much more impressive dancing, Sabrina also lost out to her in the chart positions as “Peace” peaked two places lower than “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)”at No 8.

Three Breakers next and we start with Fish. I never fail to be amazed about just how many solo hits this guy had and also how few of them I recall. “Internal Exile” was his fourth and, like all his others, it must have passed me by at the time. Taken from the album of the same name, it had a very obviously Celtic folk feel to it and was about his desire for Scottish independence (still relevant as a subject today of course). The album included a version of “Something In The Air” by Thunderclap Newman. Want to hear it? Nah, nor me.

Another very tall man who used to front a rock band next as we see Ozzy Osbourne back in the charts for the first time in five years. He’s also released the title track from his new album as a single in “No More Tears”. Apparently, Ozzy considers this song to be ‘a gift from God’. Really?! Hell’s teeth! There really was nothing here for me though I do remember the Our Price Store I was working in getting the album in early on import and the only way you could distinguish it from the UK release was that the cover had a slightly different colour tint to it. I think I was (ahem) ‘paranoid’ about selling the wrong version.

It’s a trio of new album title tracks released as singles on the Breakers as Belinda Carlisle returns with “Live Your Life Be Free“. The hits had dried up in her native US by this point in Belinda’s career but here in the UK we were still happy to consume some more of her pleasant if formulaic soft rock. “Live Your Life Be Free” certainly fell into both of these categories and was hardly anything much different from what she had served up on her last two albums “Heaven On Earth” and “Runaway Horses” to my ears but it was eminently listenable. The album would spawn four Top 40 hits (of which the title track was the biggest) and would achieve gold status but it was a definite tailing off of sales compared to its two predecessors.

The video sees Belinda dressed up to look like Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolitte from My Fair Lady or possibly Julia Roberts as Vivian Ward for Pretty Woman (same film basically) at the races. All together now…”Come on, Dover, move yer bloomin’ arse!”

For 36 years Slim Whitman’s chart topping statistics were unrivalled but they’ve finally been brought down by the ‘Groover from Vancouver’ as “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams clocks up a twelfth consecutive week at No 1! I think when we’d reached this point and a 36 year chart record had been broken, maybe we were all believing that the spell it held over the UK public would also have been broken. Surely now it had beaten everything else in chart history, that would have been enough, job done or as Roy Castle would have said “You’re a record breaker!”. Alas no, Bryan was good for another four weeks after this meaning his single was responsible for the following chart feats courtesy of officialcharts.com:

  • With 16 consecutive weeks at the summit, “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” scored the longest ever run at No 1 in UK chart history, a record which still hasn’t been bettered. Just one song has more total weeks at No 1 – Frankie Laine’s “I Believe” which enjoyed 18 weeks at the top across 3 different stints.
  • “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” is the UK’s 15th best-selling single of all time with over 1.87 million paid-for sales to date including 340,000 on digital download.
  • Even in 2021, nine people have picked up a physical copy of the song!
  • To date it’s clocked up over 55 million streams in the UK since chart records began – including 10 million in the first 6 months of 2021 alone
  • It was the best-seller of 1991 earning 1.43 million sales that year alone. It even outsold the second biggest (Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” which was re-released following Freddie Mercury’s death) by more than twice as many copies in that year.

The play out video this week is “Try” by Bros and I guess it’s a fitting end to both the current format of the show and Gary Davies’s time as a presenter that they both finish with a song that was also the final ever chart entry for the Goss twins. Bros would split the following year with Matt Goss forging a solo career before making a name for himself in the US where he had his own Vegas Residency at The Palms, Caesars Palace and The Mirage singing the swing classics. As for Luke, he briefly formed a group called Band of Thieves who released a pretty good single called “Sweeter Than The Midnight Rain” before embarking on an acting career that would see him land roles in such films as Blade II and Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

As for Gary Davies, he bows out with a fairly unemotional goodbye although he does give an extra long stare right down the lens before the Bros video kicks in. I wonder who’s benefit that was for?

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1P.J.B. featuring Hannah And Her SistersBridge Over Troubled WaterNever going to happen
2The ScorpionsWind Of ChangeNope
3RozallaEverybody’s Free (To Feel Good)Nah
4REMThe One I LoveNot the single but I must have it on something
5Tina TurnerNutbush City Limits (The 90s Version)See 1 above
6Bizarre IncSuch A FeelingNo
7Marc AlmondJackyLiked it, didn’t buy it
8Sabrina JohnstonPeaceSee 7 above
9FishInternal ExileNegative
10Ozzy Osbourne No More TearsNothing here for me
11Belinda CarlisleLive Your Life Be FreeI did not
12Bryan Adams(Everything I Do) I Do It For YouIt’s another no
13BrosTryAnd a final no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0010b3m/top-of-the-pops-26091991

TOTP 08 MAR 1990

Right then, here we are…again. It’s yet another TOTP review. For the record, if you combine all of the posts from my TOTP 80s blog – https://.80spop.wordpress.com – with this 90s version then this particular post is No 301! Three hundred and one!!! I have written three hundred posts up until now on this nonsense! God only knows how many hours of my life that adds up to?! Is it nonsense though? Well, yes clearly it is but it’s also something else I hope. During these dark times music can provide a glimmer of light I believe, something to briefly lift our mood. Maybe these tunes from long ago can provide some blissful retreat from the harsh realities we are all facing. Having said all that, it is 1990 so don’t hold your breath…

Tonight’s host is Bruno Brookes whose real name, apparently is Trevor. You don’t get many Trevors to the pound these days do you. In fact, how many famous Trevors can you think of period? Trevor Francis… Trevor Brooking…’Clever Trevor’….but these are all 70s references. Oooh…Trevor Bayliss (no relation) who invented the wind up radio. And there’s an ex-Aussie cricketer called Trevor Bayliss. OK, my point is though that there have never been that many. Maybe that’s why Brookes decided to change his name. Trevor wasn’t deemed ‘trendy’ enough (to quote the vernacular of the time). Nobody says ‘trendy’ any more do they? It’s all ‘on trend’ or ‘trending’. Sorry, I’m babbling…which leads me neatly into drawing a line under this courtesy of one David Paul Booth:

The first act tonight is Guru Josh with his dance anthem “Infinity (1990’s… Time for the Guru)“. Apparently this nearly wasn’t a hit at all. The legend goes that Mr Josh (real name Paul Walden) came up with the tune when a friend asked him to create a track for a club night of the same name. 500 white label copies were pressed of which 480 were thrown in the bin according to Walden because you couldn’t have a saxophone in a dance anthem. One of the 20 who didn’t was Hacienda DJ Mike Pickering who played it regularly at the venue and the rest is history.

The performance of the track here looks thoroughly bonkers. However, Bruno Brookes seemed to like it as he says at the song’s conclusion “Lots of energy, lots of theatre, that’s good”. Hmm. The music journalist Max Bell once described him as:

“He looked like a chap who didn’t go to bed very often, dragged himself through hedges backwards, and nibbled rare species of fungi not usually sold in Sainsbury’s” which seems fair comment to me.

Sadly Walden committed suicide in 2015.

Right then, here we are (woah – massive deja vu rush!) with the first video of the night from Gloria Estefan and her latest single …erm…“Here We Are”. I’ve written about this many times in previous posts but it’s as much of a constant in life as death and taxes and that is Gloria’s rigid single release schedule. It’s pretty easy to get your head around as it’s basically this:

  • Release a ballad
  • Release an uptempo number (preferably with a Latin beat)
  • Release a ballad
  • Release an uptempo number (preferably with a Latin beat)
  • Repeat ad finitum

With her last single being the dance song number “Get On Your Feet”, this next one had to be a ballad and indeed it is. Here we are (again) indeed.

The third single from her “Cuts Both Ways” album, it’s pretty much standard fare from Gloria if a little more laid back and less excitable than some of her other big love songs. It peaked at No 23 in the UK but went Top 10 in the US.

Here come one hit wonders JT And The Big Family next with their sample heavy track “Moments In Soul”. Having seen their video in last week’s show, we get the ‘in the flesh’ experience this week and what a visually odd bunch they were. The Jerry Sadowitz lookalike on keyboards is Mauro Ferrucci while the lanky haired guitarist doing the ‘Ah Yeah’s is Christian Hornbostel. The vocalist was known simply as Chicca while the Bez wannabe throwing some unconvincing shapes at the back is Jumbo (as in jumbo-sized twat).

In a Smash Hits interview, Ferrucci stated:

“It’s not really the words that are important, they didn’t take too long to write. They don’t mean much, there is no story“.

No shit mate! These are the lyrics (if you can call them that):

Life, life, life
Come on and
Life, life, life

Life, life, life
Come on and

One
What you’re doing back?
Two
I really mean that much to you?
Three
What’s going on? (What’s going on?)

One
What you’re doing back?
Two
I really mean that much to you?
Three
What’s going on? (What’s going on?)

Oh yeah

But then the song does sample The Art Of Noise’s “Moments In Love”. That’s The Art Of Noise who wrote these memorable lyrics:

That’s The Art Of Noise there making JT And The Family look like Bob Dylan. “Moments In Soul” peaked at No 7.

Three of the next four songs were all featured in last week’s show as Breakers so I may struggle to find anything else to say about them. First up are Innocence with “Natural Thing”.

These jazz funk / quiet storm / ambient chill out dudes (delete as appropriate) should not be confused with the band Innosense who were an American girl group formed in 1997 whose main claim to fame was that a young Britney Spears was one of their original members. They were managed by the mother of Justin Timberlake and listed bands such as NSYNC and Backstreet Boys as their inspirations. Wanna hear them? Nah, me neither.

Excellent! 75 words or so without really talking about Innocence at all.

Right, I wasn’t really expecting to see Marc Almond again either to be honest. How many places did he go up in the Top 40 that week?

*checks chart rundown video*

Three. Well, I guess it adheres to the TOTP rules of having to go up the charts to get on the show but even so. Maybe I’m being harsh. I read an article online recently by Paul Laird (@mildmanneredmax on Twitter) where he reviewed all the pivotal albums of 1990 as he saw them picking one for each month of the year. Marc’s “Enchanted” album, from which “A Lover Spurned” came, was chosen with Paul writing of it:

More of the usual unusual from Almond. “Enchanted” is violently modern and defiantly retro at the same time and, often, at exactly the same moments. With an orchestra of traditional musicians and Almond’s show stopping, showtime, show me the money vocals it is a deeply layered album filled with treats and tricks“.

Well, that’s me told. I do like Marc Almond. I’ve even read his autobiography and have at least one Soft Cell CD but this one doesn’t really do it for me. Still, you can’t fault the drama in both the song and Marc’s performance here. See Brookes. That’s how you do theatre – not all that arm waving nonsense from Guru Josh earlier that you enthused over!

“A Lover Spurned” got no higher than this peak of No 29.

Oh hello – a new song. One of only three on this week’s show and it’s “Blue Savannah” by Erasure. This was the third track to be lifted from the duo’s “Wild” album and was also the biggest hit of the four singles that were ultimately released from it. Bearing in mind the album had already been out five months (including over the crucial Xmas period) by the time of “Blue Savannah”s release, its No 3 chart position is pretty impressive. It’s far more lilting and understated than the other “Wild” singles I think. Maybe that was the key to its success. Or maybe it was just a decent song in amongst a chart full of shit.

The video for it is a bit weird though. Slightly disturbing actually with that disembodied blue hand floating about before it takes a brush to Vince and Andy. It’s like that Peter Lorre horror film The Beast With Five Fingers meets the promo for The Human League’s “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” with its completely painted red ‘You are Here’ house. Odd.

Back to the name game now and following on from my musings about the popularity of the name Trevor, here we have Trevor Bruno Brookes pondering whether there will be a glut of baby girls being called Lily in the wake of Candy Dulfer and David A. Stewart’s hit single “Lily Was Here”. So was Bruno right? Did Lily become a really popular name for newborn girls around this time? As far as I can tell the answer is no. The most popular name back then seemed to be Jessica but certainly the rise of Lilly has been quite the phenomenon since the turn of the century. As high as No 2 around 2012, it is still in the Top 10 for 2020.

Say again? What about the song? Oh, erm…I was hoping all that name talk would have distracted you. Well, I kind of liked the oddness of it all but I was never going to buy it. As for Candy Dulfer, despite a career that spans 30 years and 12 albums, she never returned to our charts after “Lily Was Here” peaked at No 6. I’m pretty sure that there weren’t loads of newborn baby girls named ‘Candy’ in the early 90s either.

A couple of posts ago I commented on the incongruity of seeing Adam Ant in the charts in the 90s, so tied to the 80s are his glory days. I could make the same observation about Bros. I’d almost completely consigned them to the pop bin by this point but here they are, three months into 1990 with a genuine, bona fide Top 40 hit. “Madly In Love” was the fourth single lifted from their album “The Time” and, on reflection, it seems an unwise choice. Firstly, a fourth single from any album is pushing it but when it is from the second album of a teen sensation on the wane, it seems positively deluded. Secondly, for the life of me, I cannot hear a discernible tune in “Madly In Love”. It’s like some sort of jam session that got ideas above its station and all those extra bodies up there on stage with Matt and Luke just seemed to over egg the pudding. Oh, and what the heck was Matt wearing?! A jacket and tie combo topped off with a baseball cap? A fan wrote into Smash Hits to ask if Matt was going bald after seeing the video for “Madly In Love” – maybe the cap was strategically placed?

“Madly In Love” peaked at No 14, the duo’s first single to fail to reach the Top 10.

A second week at No 1 for Beats International with “Dub Be Good To Me” and this week (for the first time I think) we get the promo video instead of a studio performance. They might as well not have bothered as it’s a straight run through of the song with a sepia tint added over the top. Where did all the fun of those Housemartins videos disappear to Norman?

The play out video is “Love Shack” by The B-52s. I said last week that I found this one to be a marmite tune and judging by the online reaction to its recent airing on BBC4, I stand by that. Personally, I can’t really be doing with it – to my ears it’s the sound of a band trying too hard. I especially find the breakdown near the end of the song when the music stops and Fred Schneider asks ‘You’re what?’ especially excruciating. Ever wondered what it is that Cindy Wilson replies with? Apparently it’s ‘Tin Roof, Rusted’ and not ‘Hennnnn-ry, busted’ as I have always believed.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1Guru JoshInfinity (1990’s …Time For The Guru)Nah
2Gloria EstefanHere We AreNegative
3JT And The FamilyMoments In SoulI’d rather have to watch John Terry miss that penalty on an endless loop – that’s a no by the way
4InnocenceNatural ThingNo
5Marc AlmondA Lover SpurnedNot for me
6ErasureBlue SavannahNo but It must be on their Greatest Hits collection that I own.
7David A. Stewart and Candy DulferLily Was HereNope
8BrosMadly In LoveHuge no
9Beats InternationalDub Be Good To MeNo but my wife had their album
10B-52sLove ShackCouldn’t be doing with it – no

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p3bp/top-of-the-pops-08031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 01 MAR 1990

It’s the very start of March in 1990 and apparently the UK is windswept. Well, that’s according to TOTP host Jakki Brambles anyway and I really can’t remember the weather from over 30 years ago I’m afraid so we’ll have to take her word for it. Jakki (still spelt with two ‘K’s at this point) gives credence to her claim by wearing a ginormous duffle coat while she presents the show from the BBC studio. Her choice of outfit prompted many a ‘she won’t feel the benefit’ type comments on Twitter as this repeat aired on BBC4 last Friday.

Not only was she prone to feeling the cold but Brambles was also prone to exaggeration as she declares that tonight’s first act is “a man whose had more hits than I’ve been on diets; we’re into the thousands here”. What?! Who the hell can she mean?! It is of course Shakin’ Stevens who despite Jakki’s claims was actually on his 29th of 33 Top 40 hits with this one called “I Might”. Yes, unbelievable and indeed unbearable as it may seem, Shaky was still a visitor to the charts in the 90s exactly 10 years on from his first appearance. Unlike the 80s though, this decade was not kind to the Welsh hit maker and he was reduced to farting out Xmas hits in order to maintain his status as a chart act after this single.

“I Might” was the usual toe -tapping, rock ‘n’ roll revivalist number that Shaky had made his name on. Do you think he genuinely thought at the time that he could just carry on serving up this tripe forever more? Or was he secretly terrified that the game might actually be up considering that the UK was on a massive rave tip that made Shaky look even more like the anachronism than he already (and always) was? “This Ole House” seemed like forever ago and now house music was going to put Shaky on the dole. At least he didn’t try to jump on the bandwagon – “This Ole Italo House” anyone?

“I Might” peaked at No 18.

Oh God! It’s Rod Stewart! Don’t look! He might not see us! Too late. Brambles has given the game away and here he is in full on Rod mode with his awful version of the Tom Waits song “Downtown Train”.

Look, I can’t be arsed to write anything else about this one. It doesn’t deserve any more attention. Seek out Tom’s original instead or even Everything But The Girl’s take on it from their 1992 “Acoustic” album. Infinitely superior. Apparently Ben and Tracey’s version plays over the end of the final scene in the long running US sitcom How I Met Your Mother. I’ve never seen the show but I’m guessing that the ending is much more effective with EBTG’s soothing sounds than croaky Rod honking away in the background.

More exaggeration from Jakki Brambles next as, during the chart run down, she refers to the “cast of thousands” in the lyrics of “Hello” by The Beloved. I make it 38 actually Jakki. Right, up next is a complete howler of a song. Like “Downtown Train” before it, it’s another cover version but this one makes Rod Stewart’s seem heavenly in comparison. Jamie J. Morgan is the perpetrator of this crime against music and he should be eternally ashamed for the obscenity that he inflicted upon Lou Reed’s “Walk On The Wild Side”.

When we saw the video for this in last week’s show as one of the Breakers, I made the comment that this track was almost a parody and that it could be Sacha Baron Cohen performing it. It seems I wasn’t alone in my thinking for when the Twitterati got a load of this studio performance, they made the same connection. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

Oh and the two versions of “Walk On The Wild Side” that were out at the same time that Jakki references? Well, I tracked the other one down and it was this by Beat System. Still nowhere near as good as the original but infinitely preferable to Jamie J. Morgan for me. It spent three weeks in chart peaking at No 63.

To put the final nail in the coffin of this sad state of affairs, Brambles reckons that “Lou Reed should be a very proud man”! Ye gods woman! Nobody could be proud of that, not even Jamie J. Morgan’s mother!

Some Breakers next starting with Innocence and “Natural Thing”. Anybody remember this lot? They were kind of like a chilled out Soul II Soul and were briefly the height of sophistication as I recall. They racked up six Top 40 singles over their short career (1990–1992) with “Natural Thing” being their biggest hit at No 16. They also released two albums in that time with the first one (“Belief”) making it to No 24 in the charts.

It all sounded a little bit insubstantial to me although I did quite like their “A Matter of Fact” single from later on in 1990.

After his surprise return to the top of the charts with his duet with Gene Pitney on “Something’s Gotten Hold of My Heart” as the 80s came to an end, Marc Almond returned to his day job of cultish solo artist as the 90s began. “A Lover Spurned” was his first release of the new decade taken from his album “Enchanted” which was already his sixth solo album in six years. Excluding the aforementioned No 1, the single was his fourteenth of his solo career but only the fourth to make the Top 40 after. Cultish indeed.

I have zero recall of this one but it seems quite brooding and foreboding and spiky of intent. Marc’s solo output always mined this dark seam to my ears and some of his song titles support this opinion. Here are just a few of them:

  • “Melancholy Rose”
  • “Tenderness Is A Weakness”
  • “Tears Run Rings”
  • “Bitter Sweet”
  • “The House Is Haunted By The Echo Of Your Last Goodbye”

Wow! That last title! Cheery soul Marc isn’t he? “A Lover Spurned” peaked at No 29.

The next Breaker seems to be a marmite song and certainly split the opinion of the Twitterati the other day. Where do you stand on “Love Shack” by the B-52s? Me? I can’t really be doing with it. It’s just so….joyful and upbeat that it comes across as insincere. Lots of people both agree and disagree it seems. Taken from their “Cosmic Thing” album, it is easily their most well known and commercially successful song but I always preferred the follow up single “Roam” which was much more classy I thought.

“Love Shack” brought the band to a mainstream audience, many of whom had never heard of them before. I have to say I had only limited knowledge pretty much only knowing “Rock Lobster” and “Planet Claire” at that point from the double A-side re-release in 1986. My way cooler wife had one of their early albums I think.

In a nice bit of serendipity, it turns out that the horns on “Love Shack” were provided by The Uptown Horns, a New York-based section that played on Tom Waits’ Rain Dogs album which includes the track “Downtown Train” that we saw Rod Stewart murder earlier in the show.

“Love Shack” peaked at No 2 in the UK and No 3 in the US.

Something sultry and atmospheric now as the charts welcomes that rarest of commodities into its arms; an instrumental. I have to admit I’d never heard of Candy Dulfer before “Lily Was Here” but she had already performed as the support act for live shows by Madonna and been on stage with the likes of Prince and Pink Floyd by this point. The daughter of a Dutch jazz saxophonist, she hadn’t actually released any of her music commercially until this collaboration with Eurythmics’ Dave Stewart or David A. Stewart as he is credited here. The song was included on the soundtrack for a Dutch crime thriller flick of the same name and shot Dulfer to stardom off the back of it . The single was No 1 in the Netherlands for five straight weeks and a No 6 hit over here. It even broke the American market peaking at No 11.

I seem to recall there was a lot of fuss about Candy’s looks as much as her musical ability at the time (see also British violinist Vanessa-Mae) perhaps not helped by the fact that her debut album was called “Saxuality”. Incidentally, the single didn’t feature on that album in some territories including I think the UK. Cue lots of disgruntled customers returning it for a refund because they didn’t read the track listing.

Meanwhile back in the studio, we find Electribe 101 performing “Talking With Myself”. Is it just me or do singer Billie Ray Martin’s dance moves not seem to fit the song? It’s quite a downbeat, low key smooth sound and Billie’s all rotating arms, gyrating hips and 70s disco finger pointing. It’s like she ‘s got a Jane Fonda workout video playing in her mind’s eye. There’s even a bit of twerking going on.

Maybe she took her inspiration from the dance moves of another famous Billie…

Later in the decade another Billie appeared who also seemed to have been similarly inspired…

OK, enough of the Billies as we move onto…something called The Brits 1990 Dance Medley which took some of the biggest dance hits of recent times and slung them all together into one continuous mix. The video shown on TOTP includes footage from the actual performance of this heap of shit from the 1990 BRIT awards show which took place at the Dominion Theatre in London the previous month.

That video is bad enough but if you watch the live performance from the actual awards show it looks even worse…

Maybe we all just have choreographed dance routine fatigue now after having had our eyeballs blasted in the intervening years with every type of production imaginable. Maybe we’re all tuned in to the slickness of Strictly Come Dancing? Whatever it is, that just looked shit. And what was the point of having The Cookie Crew come on for 10 seconds right at the end?

If you were counting, then the tracks featured are:

  • Double Trouble & Rebel MC – “Street Tuff”
  • A Guy Called Gerald – “Voodoo Ray”
  • S’Express – “Theme From S’Express”
  • Beatmasters – “Hey DJ I Can’t Dance”
  • Jeff Wayne – “Eve Of The War (Ben Liebrand Mix)”
  • 808 State – ” Pacific State”
  • D Mob – “We Call It Acieed”
  • Cookie Crew – “Got To Keep On”

At least two of the tracks featured were hits in 1988! How is that anything to do with The Brits 1990?! As for the show itself, if I tell you that Phil Collins won Best British Single of the Year and Best Male Solo Artist then I think that tells you all you need to know.

The Brits 1990 Dance Medley single (because let’s not forget that’s what it was, something you could actually buy and not just a performance on TV) peaked at No 2. No 2!

After all that frantic dancing, here comes Michael Bolton to calm us down with his soporific ballad “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?”. I’ve already spilled my shaming Michael Bolton story the other week so I have no intention of going there again so what else to say about old Bollers? The hair! Of course the hair! I mean, just look at it! If you google ‘Michael Bolton’s hair’, there are so many articles, posts and interviews about his monstrous locks that it’s almost as if they had a life of their own. Well, maybe they do because there is a Michael Bolton’s Hair twitter account. It only has 36 followers and hasn’t posted since 2017 but it’s there. Here are some example tweets:

How about?

And inevitably…

Yes they’re painful but so is watching Michael perform here on TOTP and I had to do that for this blog so think yourselves lucky.

There’s a new No 1 as Beats International topple Sinéad  O’Connor after four weeks with “Dub Be Good To Me”. Do Beats International get the retrospective credit they deserve? OK, sure the whole project was overshadowed by the reach and success of another Cook alter ego Fatboy Slim later in the decade and yes they are mainly only remembered for this one song but for me, it was a glimmer of light in a sea of hopeless No1 records in 1990.

*Spoiler alert*

Elton John? Awful song. Cliff Richard? More Xmas ghastliness. A song about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? WTF?! Bombalurina aka Timmy Mallett? Aagghhhh!

Come on, given that cesspit of shite for company, “Dub Be Good To Me” was solid gold and I for one will always think fondly of it.

Right, what’s this we’ve got to close the show? JT And The Big Family? Who? There’s only one JT in my book and that’s Chelsea legend John Terry! Well, it turns out this JT were Italian house DJs Mauro Ferrucci and Christian Hornbostel and they were the JT part of the equation as JT stood for ‘Jockers Team’ – at that time, DJs in Italy were referred to as ‘jockers’. Hmm. ‘The Family’ were a female singer called Chicca and a dancer called Jumbo. Look , I’m not making any of this up! The whole thing was meant to be a ‘fluid concept’, a collective if you like. Basically they were the Italian Beats International if that makes things easier! Their only hit was “Moments In Soul” which sampled amongst many other things the melody from Art Of Noise’s “Moments In Love” and the drums from “Back To Life” by Soul II Soul.

I don’t really remember this one at all. I don’t think I missed much.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1Shakin’ StevensI MightThere was no might about it – a big NO
2Rod StewartDowntown TrainGod no
3Jamie J. MorganWalk On The Wild SideNegative
4InnocenceNatural ThingNah
5Marc AlmondA Lover SpurnedNot for me
6B-52sLove ShackCouldn’t be doing with it – no
7David A. Stewart and Candy DulferLily Was HereNope
8Electribe 101Talking With MyselfI did not
9Various ArtistsThe Brits 1990 Dance MedleyDefinitely not
10Michael BoltonHow Am I Supposed To Live Without YouQuite easily Michael…oh except I saw you in concert. Oh God the shame!
11Beats InternationalDub Be Good To MeNo but my wife had their album
12JT And The FamilyMoments In SoulI’d rather have to watch John Terry miss that penalty on an endless loop – that’s a no by the way

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000p3bl/top-of-the-pops-01031990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues