TOTP 22 AUG 1997

After rotating a trio of presenters in Jayne Middlemiss, Zoe Ball and Jo Whiley in the first few weeks of his tenure, TOTP Executive Producer Chris Cowey has branched out with his choice of hosts. Recent shows were piloted by Mary Anne Hobbs, Phil Jupitus and Denise van Outen. And then there’s this week – the curious case of Sarah Cawood. Having started her presenting career on Nickelodeon, she’d most recently appeared in Channel 4’s The Girlie Show. You remember The Girlie Show surely? It was a Channel 4 late night magazine show that was in the slot usually reserved for The Word and was hosted by a team of presenters including Cawood and a very young Sara Cox. It wasn’t well received by viewers or the tabloids though I always quite liked it, especially the ‘Wanker of the Week’ feature. Anyway, despite those post-pub beginnings, she was drafted into host the BBC’s flagship, prime time pop music show in 1997 but here’s the curious thing – Cawood wouldn’t present another TOTP for nearly five years at which point she was a regular until June 2003. So what was that all about? Didn’t Cowey think Cawood was any good in this 1997 show but changed his mind in 2002? I think she does a decent job for what it’s worth.

We start with one of the biggest and most unlikely hits of the year – “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba. This really was an astonishing hit from a band that had never troubled the chart compilers in their previous 15 years of existence. I’d certainly not heard of the anarcho -punk outfit before around 1992 when I worked with a colleague called Emma who was a bit of a Riot Grrrl and was into them. I’d somehow managed to miss their response to Jason Donovan taking The Face magazine to court for claiming that he was lying by denying he was gay – the band had ‘Jason Donovan – Queer as Fuck’ T-shirts printed which they gave away free with their single “Behave”. Fast forward to 1997 and the band had controversially signed to EMI having left indie label One Little Indian. The decision was viewed with mistrust at best and open hostility at worst from their fanbase and peers with accusations of hypocrisy levelled at them not least because they had recorded songs criticising the conglomerate in the past including contributing to a compilation album called “Fuck EMI”. Hmm. Chumbawamba’s stance was that the move would allow them to take their political messages to a wider audience. That was achieved and then some with “Tubthumping”. It spent three consecutive weeks at No 2 and a further eight inside the Top 10. How did they do it? By coming up with a track that crossed over massively. With its terrace chant chorus and lyrics about drinking, it appealed to the ‘lad culture’ who couldn’t have cared less about the band’s anarcho-communist political views because you could shout it as you stumbled from one bar to another on a pub crawl at the weekend and that was all mattered. Obviously, this move to the mainstream risked alienating their original fanbase but the I guess the band deemed it worth it. It was an irresistible, once heard never forgotten track which had enough going on in it to ensure it wasn’t just a lowest common denominator, appeal to the masses tune. There’s an excerpt from Brassed Off in the intro and a sample of “Trumpet Voluntary” by Jeremiah Clarke in the trumpet solo for a start.

For this performance, the band had to compromise even further by agreeing not to sing the word “Pissin’” in the lyric “Pissin’ the night away” so were left with an uncomfortable gap instead. Talking of the lyrics, I read that it was such a big hit in the US as well (No 6) because American audiences had misheard the words “I get knocked down” as “I get No Doubt” and thought it was some sort of tribute record to the “Don’t Speak” hitmakers. I would say that can’t be true but then America did vote in Donald Trump as their president. Twice. In fact, I’m surprised he didn’t try and use it to soundtrack his campaign. He’s too stupid to understand that the song is actually for and about working class people and their resilience in the face of adversity.

There were some ropey old boy bands in the 90s of which I would include OTT and when I say ‘ropey’, I literally mean ‘money for old rope’. The sheer audacity of their record label Epic to think they could launch this lot to global stardom on the back of some uninspired choices of cover versions. Having had their first hit with a cover of “Let Me In” by The Osmonds (blatantly copying Boyzone’s initial route into the charts), they went there again with a cover of a classic MOR ballad – Air Supply’s “All Out Of Love”. What a lazy, banal and uninventive way to go. In the 2001 film Rock Star, Mark Wahlberg’s character (a singer in a rock tribute band) argues with his brother about their differing musical tastes. Whilst he is into heavy rock, he chastises his brother for liking Air Supply. I think that says it all.

The staging of this performance with the studio audience all sat down on the floor cross-legged, gazing up at the four dullards in front of them reminds me of junior school assemblies. Watching OTT is about as much fun as those assemblies. Only two of the four band members sing solo parts while the other two just do the nerd shuffle on either end of the line up. When there’s the “what are you thinking of?” break down towards the song’s conclusion, one of the ‘singers’ does some weird arm movements like he’s cracking a whip or something. It looks really odd and jarring which is also how I’d describe the decision to call these berks OTT as there is nothing ‘over the top’ about them at all – they couldn’t have been more bland and safe.

Two years on from their No 1 single “Dreamer” and LivinJoy were commendably still having Top 20 hits though “Deep In You” would be the last. I’m not sure I would have predicted that continuation of chart success back in 1995 years especially for a dance act when the hits were more about the track than the artist. Tellingly though, despite the presence of five hits on it, Livin’ Joy could not shift significant quantities of their only album “Don’t Stop Movin’” which would peak at No 41 in the charts.

OK, so I have to mention the elephant in the room here which is why is singer Tameko Star wearing what appear to be a pair of marigolds throughout the performance? She looks like she should be cleaning the bathroom rather than singing on TOTP. More ‘Deep In The Loo’ than “Deep In You”.

Here’s a comeback I’m guessing we’d all forgotten about – the return of Dannii Minogue. Or should that be just ‘Dannii’? As part of her relaunch, there seems to have been a deliberate attempt to rebrand her with just her first name in the style of Madonna, Cher and…well…her sister Kylie. I’m not sure Dannii would ever be that famous as to only require her first name although, to be fair, how many other people called Dannii do you know or can think of? Looking back through her discography (which took longer than I would have imagined), it appears that this one name promotion of her had actually started all the way back to her first few single releases judging by their artwork. In Australia, it seems her records were always billed as being by just ‘Dannii’ whereas in the UK she was Dannii Minogue at least initially. However, just a handful of singles in and there was parity between the territories. There seemed to be a definite strategy in place for her return in 1997 to reinforce the Dannii only moniker – the TOTP caption doesn’t include her surname and Sarah Cawood refers to her as just ‘Dannii’.

Nomenclatures aside, her last hit had been the very minor “Get Into You” way back in 1994 so where had she been all this time? Well, she’d got married and subsequently divorced in the space of just two years which had taken its emotional toll on her. She modelled nude for Playboy (I’m sure there were also nude calendars as we were selling them in the Our Price store where I worked) and returned to TV co- hosting Channel 4’s The Big Breakfast show. By 1997, she pursued a return to music and if her name wasn’t any different then her comeback single was. Dannii’s biggest hits in the UK to this point had been covers of disco songs like “Jump To The Beat” and “This Is It” and although “All I Wanna Do” was a dance track, it sure wasn’t disco. This was Hi-NRG with a relentless (if repetitive) chorus that aligned itself well with her new adult and deliberately sexualised image. The TOTP performance plays into that with her movements shown in almost slow motion at some points and a couple of knowing winks to the camera. The single would debut and peak at No 4 but it couldn’t stimulate sales of parent album “Girl” which stalled at No 57. However, she would return in 2003 with gold selling album “Neon Nights”.

Next up are a Welsh band who, like their peers Manic Street Preachers, are still going to this day. In fact, there are a few parallels between the Manics and Stereophonics besides their nationalities – they’ve both released double figures amount of albums, they both play a brand of alternative (for want of a better word) rock music and both are referred to incorrectly using a definite article on occasion though, as I have done, Manic Street Preachers are often referred to as The Manics. On that point, I once worked with someone that insisted that Stereophonics was pronounced phonetically as ‘Steree-off-ernics” but he was a bit of a prat.

Anyway, “A Thousand Trees” was the second Top 40 hit for Stereophonics after “More Life In A Tramp’s Vest” earlier in the year and was another great example of the storytelling ability of Kelly Jones. A tale of how rumours in a small town environment can destroy a person’s reputation, I love the metaphor of matches and trees in the lyrics which Jones cleverly inverts to make his point. Parent album “Word Gets Around” was released the Monday after this TOTP aired and I remember putting it straight back on the shop stereo even though we’d just played it as I wanted to hear it again – I wasn’t disappointed. There’s some great songs on there; not just the singles but album tracks as well like my personal favourite “Check My Eyelids For Holes”. I bought the album and the follow up “Performance And Cocktails” but I’d kind of lost sight of them after third album “Just Enough Education To Perform”. I should probably update my knowledge of the rest of their back catalogue though there is a lot of it to go at with a new album due in April 2025 to boot!

As for this performance, I’m left asking the question of whether there was a problem with security in the TOTP studio around this time. After the crowd invasion of the stage when Oasis were on the other week, this time a lone youth seems to spring from out of the audience to jump around (rather uncooly) behind Kelly Jones before disappearing back into the crowd. Was that planned? If not, where were the floor managers/studio security? The show’s reputation was at stake – I’m surprised that Jones didn’t write a song about that!

And just like that, the first era of Mark Owen’s solo career was over. It took less than a year from the release of his debut single post-Take That for it took come off the rails and was emphatically demonstrated by his solo single “I Am What I Am” (not that one) peaking at a lowly No 29. Now, you could argue that this wasn’t the harbinger of doom that I’m making it out to be given that it was the third track taken from his album “Green Man” that had been out for eight months by this point. However, the album hadn’t sold well peaking at No 33 so the suggestion that punters might not have bought the single because they already had the album doesn’t really hold water. Presumably the diminishing sales caused tension between Owen’s label RCA and their artist as “I Am What I Am” has originally been earmarked to be the fourth single released from “Green Man” but a fourth single never appeared and Mark was subsequently dropped. I said earlier the ‘first era’ of his solo career as Owen would return to it six years later with the interesting single “Four Minute Warning” which peaked at No 4. Although album sales continued to be sparse, his fifth album “Land Of Dreams” released in 2022 would go Top 5 and in any case, his solo career was running in parallel with the second coming of Take That from 2006 onwards.

As for “I Am What I Am” specifically, it’s a decent enough little tune but listening to it feels to me like watching my beloved Chelsea play currently – you think they should be better than they are and you’re constantly waiting for them to make something happen and they never do (you win matches by scoring goals lads not by having loads of possession).

I mentioned earlier the connections between Stereophonics and Manic Street Preachers but the former also has one with this band – Suede. Well, sort of. There’s probably a few but the one I’m thinking of is that they both had hits with very similar titles. In 2004, Stereophonics took “Moviestar” to No 5 while back in 1997, Suede went to No 9 with “Filmstar” – ‘movie’ or ‘film’…what’s the difference? This was the fifth and final single from “Coming Up” (who did they think they were? George Michael? Michael Jackson?) and it was another example of that more accessible sound that had run through the album. Built around one of Richard Oakes’s favourite guitar riffs, its chart peak of No 9 meant that all five of the singles from “Coming Up” had gone Top 10 (maybe they were George Michael and Michael Jackson!). In this performance, keyboard player Neil Codling seems to do very little, at some points sitting there with his hands idle looking meaningfully at the camera. Who did he think he was? Brian Jones incarnate?

Will Smith remains at No 1 with “Men In Black” and his intro piece from the other week is recycled with Smith superimposed over the start of the video again. It would stay at the top for four weeks becoming the sixth best selling single in the UK that year. The film of the same name was also a smash hit with opening weekend box office receipts of $51 million making it the third highest grossing opening weekend ever at the time. I caught the movie at the cinema and enjoyed it for what it was though I don’t think I’ve ever watched any of its three sequels. There was also two soundtrack albums released – a score by composer Danny Elfman and a collection of songs by R&B and hip hop artists such as De La Soul, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Alicia Keys and Destiny’s Child as well as two tracks by Smith himself. Despite only the title track actually featuring in the film, the album was a huge success in the US going to No 1 and selling over three million copies. It sold more conservatively over here reaching gold status for 100,000 units shifted.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1ChumbawambaTupthumpingYES!
2OTTAll Out Of LoveAs if
3Livin’ JoyDeep In YouNope
4Dannii MinogueAll I Wanna DoNegative
5StereophonicsA Thousand TreesNo but I had the album
6Mark OwenI Am What I AmNah
7SuedeFilmstarSee 5 above
8Will SmithMen In BlackNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00293qb/top-of-the-pops-22081997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 14 FEB 1997

It’s Valentine’s Day in 1997 so no doubt the charts (and therefore the TOTP running order) will be full of romantic love songs. Erm…no. Of the nine songs on tonight’s show, I’d say only one is an out and out slushy ballad. The rest…well, some are almost anti-love songs but we’ll get to them soon enough. The host tonight is doubtless the target of many a young girl’s romantic intentions in Peter Andre who, the last time he was the presenter, did a pretty good job it pains me to say. As for me, what was my Valentine’s Day like? Well, according to my diary, I was stressed out at work and my wife was away for the weekend in London so I spent it on my own in front of the TV which seems apt for this most unromantic of shows.

So, kicking us off are Mansun with the lead track from their “Five EP” called “She Makes My Nose Bleed”. Yeah, it’s not the most loved up song title ever and neither is its sound and thank god for that. Taken from their brilliant No 1 album “Attack Of The Grey Lantern”, this was 90s indie rock at its very best. They always sounded like they had such sonic power but that they hadn’t even got out of second gear yet and there was so much more under the bonnet. The day after this TOTP aired, I saw them on that tour with Suede that Peter Andre mentioned in Blackburn with my mate Steve. Given that their single was in the Top 10 at the time, I’m surprised that they were the support act. Presumably the tour had been booked loads earlier when their profile wasn’t as big but they were now contractually bound to complete it in the support slot? Later in this year I convinced another mate called Pete to buy “Attack Of The Grey Lantern” even though he wasn’t familiar with it promising him that it might take a little while to get into but that the pay off when he did would be worth it. He never did tell me if he liked it or not.

Now here’s a nice heartthrob singer for Valentine’s Day but his song isn’t a big ballad either. Mark Owen was possibly actively trying to shed that teen pin up status he’d acquired as part of Take That and be seen as a serious artist – he had written all but two tracks on his debut album “Green Man” after all. “Clementine” was the second single taken from that album and would peak at No 3, just as his debut single “Child” (which had been a big ballad) had done.

I recall that we sold out of the single in the Our Price I was working in during that first week of release. I don’t think it had been our fault per se – I think the initial quantities (the so called ‘scale out’) ordered in for us by the buying department at Head Office hadn’t been big enough. Maybe they’d been deceived by the poor sales performance of “Green Man” which had struggled to a chart peak of No 33. Consequently, perhaps they’d not banked on a second single taken from it charting so high. In fairness to the company buyers, they’d would prove to be ultimately right as Owen’s third single “I Am What I Am” (not that one) would flop when it peaked at No 29 – they’d just gone one single too early. Mark would subsequently be dropped by his label RCA. He wouldn’t reappear as a solo artist until 2003 when the aptly titled sophomore album “In Your Own Time” was released. I’d liked “Child” but “Clementine” seems a bit one dimensional – it was just all about that elongated chorus with the rest of it a bit pedestrian. More ‘Oh my, disappointing’ than ‘oh my darling’ Clementine.

Definitely not a slushy love song for Valentine’s Day was “Remember Me” by Blue Boy. I’m wondering if punters referred to it as “That song that goes ‘ging, gi-gi-gi-gi-ging’” when asking for it in their local record shops. I can’t recall if I was asked for it like that in the Our Price in Stockport but it’s quite possible. Other songs that people asked for not by their title would be “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters (“that one that goes ‘la da dee, la da da’”) and “Song 2” by Blur (“it has a bit in it that goes ‘woo hoo!’”).

Ah, here’s the one and only slushy ballad on the show despite it being broadcast on Valentine’s Day. This was just shameless! OTT (not to be confused with the early 80s late night version of Tiswas) were another Irish boyband who clearly were modelled on Boyzone so much so that their debut hit was an Osmonds cover just as their predecessors’ had been. Talk about obvious! Whilst Ronan et al had taken on “Love Me For A Reason” which had been a chart topper in 1974, OTT went with “Let Me In”, a No 2 hit in the UK in 1973. You can’t tell me this wasn’t just cynically following a boy band blueprint step by step, detail by detail! Oh and look, they’re kitted out in that boyband cliché of all white outfits! They weren’t even that good looking were they? There’s one who seems to have modelled his hairstyle to match that of tonight’s host Peter Andre with those horrible greasy strands hanging down. How did their record label Epic think anyone would fall for this but they did! “Let Me In” would go to No 12 in the UK charts after being a No 2 hit in Ireland. This was the first of four hits they would manage over the next 12 months before Epic lost faith and dropped them. There’s five of them in this performance but one of them left the band at some point as there’s a line up of four on their album cover. Two of them did have interesting names – Niall O’Neill and Alan Mates who really should have had the nickname ‘Billy No’ but was known as ‘Adam’ within the band. They couldn’t sent even get nicknames right!

Next up is a track that fuses a hard rock guitar riff (courtesy of Van Halen), drum ‘n’ bass breakbeats, some reggae dub flourishes and a sample from a 1971 sci-fi film (The Andromeda Strain) – yep, to quote Bon Jovi, this ain’t a love song either. Apollo Four Forty’s biggest hit to this point had been the No 23 placing “Krupa” but “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘bout Dub” would seem them crack the Top 10 for the first time. Now, this was never going to be my cup of tea but I can appreciate it for being experimental, pioneering and pushing the boundaries of dance music composition.

Unlike Orbital the other week, the track lent itself more to a ‘traditional’ performance if that’s the right word. I guess it is in that there a vocalist (of sorts) and a guitarist and a drummer (two drummers actually – very Adam and the Ants). Apparently, the guy on the mike is the frontman for 80s ‘grebo’ band Gaye Bikers On Acid but he’s giving me Alex Mann vibes in his Fluminense football shirt. Who’s Alex Mann? This guy of course…

We’ve seen three of the last four hits before on the show so I might have to skip through these without too much comment. What I will say is that two of the artists have amazing longevity. The first of those is Depeche Mode who when you consider had already been having hits for 16 years back in 1997 and are still going today in 2025…well, you don’t have to be a maths genius to work out how long they’ve been around for. Not bad for a band that started out as teen, synth pop stars in frilly shirts. However, if I hear the phrase “Barrel Of A Gun”, the song that comes to my mind isn’t from Depeche Mode but this…

I can’t help it, I’m a product of my era and the songs that we grew up with are the ones that stick in our heads. No, really. There’s been scientific studies conducted into it – it’s called the ‘reminiscence bump’ so it’s not my fault. Look it up if you don’t believe me. I’m not consciously choosing John Farnham over (this era of) Depeche Mode, it’s been psychologically engineered within me.

No! Mercy please! Not this lot again! Not a third time! What am I supposed to say about this Spanish guitar influenced Eurodance trash? No Mercy were the creation of Frank Farian who gave us Boney M and if you were a child growing up in the 70s then they were a huge presence in your fledgling years (it’s that ‘reminiscence bump’ again). However, he also gave us Milli Vanilli and their lip-syncing, deceiving ways and then this trio of berks and their single “Where Do You Go” so his strike rate wasn’t the best. What I wasn’t aware of before now was that a biopic of the Milli Vanilli story was made in 2023 called Girl You Know It’s True but I guess it’s quite the story to be told – success followed by scandal followed by tragedy. I can’t imagine a film about the No Mercy story being made anytime soon.

There’s a lot to unpack with this next hit starting with who does the lead singer remind me of? I refer to Mark Oliver Everett aka ‘E’ who’d released two albums as a solo artist under that pseudonym in the early 90s before putting together the band Eels. It’ll come to me. Anyway, “Novocaine For The Soul” was the lead single from the band’s debut album “Beautiful Freak” and made the Top 10 in the UK straight off the bat. A great, quirky alt-rock song in the vein of Beck or Presidents Of The USA, it was a perfect antidote to all that generic dance crap in the charts at the time. What should have been a time of great excitement due to this success was tempered though by personal tragedy in Everett’s life. Having already suffered the trauma of finding his father, a prominent quantum physicist, dead at home when he was just 19, he then lost his sister to suicide and his mother to cancer between 1996 and 1998. Three years later, his flight attendant cousin was killed during the terrorist attacks in the US in 2001 when on the plane that was flown at the Pentagon. Everett seemed to process all this tragedy by writing songs – to date the Eels have released 17 studio albums!

Although the band’s line up has fluctuated over the years, Everett has remained the one constant presence, much like Mike Scott in The Waterboys or Matt Johnson in The The. Some of the names (or rather nicknames) of those other band members deserve some recognition. Look at these:

  • The Chet
  • Koool G Murder
  • P-Boo
  • Knuckles
  • Big/Krazy/Tiny/Honest/Upright/Royal Al
  • Butch

Take note OTT. That’s how you do nicknames! As for this performance, what was all that with the toy instruments all about? Apparently, they hadn’t told anyone they were going to smash them up at the end – was it meant to be a send up of The Who or someone like that? It wasn’t really working for me until they all did the little bow at the end which turned it from childish to comic.

Got it! ‘E’ reminds me of this guy. It’s E for Epithemiou!

U2 are, along with Depeche Mode, that other band with amazing longevity and this week, rather predictably what with being the biggest band in the world and all, at No 1. “Discothèque” is the song they gave them their third chart topper after “Desire” in 1988 and “The Fly” in 1991. It may have been the band’s third hit to get to the pinnacle but for the record buying public it was the sixth different No 1 single in as many weeks. Was it devaluing that achievement? It felt like it to me but then I was working from inside the trend in a record shop so was looking at it from a business perspective. Kind of sums up this Valentine’s Day show – all very business like with little romance in the air.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1MansunShe Makes My Nose BleedNo but I had their album
2Mark OwenClementineNah
3Blue BoyRemember MeYes – I bought the 12″ for my wife
4OTTLet Me InNo chance
5Apollo Four FortyAin’t Talkin’ ‘bout DubNope
6Depeche ModeBarrel Of A GunI did not
7No MercyWhere Do You GoNever
8EelsNovocaine For The SoulNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations
9U2DiscothèqueNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026zt9/top-of-the-pops-14021997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 29 NOV 1996

We’re getting close to Christmas both in present day 2024 and 28 years ago in 1996 here at TOTP Rewind where the BBC4 repeats are knocking on the advent calendar doors of December. Back then, I was about to work my seventh consecutive Christmas at Our Price and my second on the spin at the Stockport store. I can’t remember all the specifics of what went down that year – over time the details such as who my work colleagues were have become jumbled up as my memory has shifted and re-edited – but one thing I do recall is that Oasis were selling their fans empty boxes for Christmas. Yes, with no new album available until the following year and no single having been released by the band since “Don’t Look Back In Anger” in the February, their record label Creation needed something to flog to the legion of Oasis followers – it was Christmas after all. What they came up with was unbelievable and yet somehow they sold. To house all those CD singles the band had released, you could purchase two boxes designed to look like a packet of cigarettes – one for the tracks from “Definitely Maybe” and one for the songs from “”(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?”. The latter was gold and the former silver and both carried the warning ‘RockNRoll Can Seriously Damage Your Health. I can’t remember exactly how much they cost but I’m guessing a fiver each. What a racket!

Anyway, tonight’s hosts are Ronan and Stephen from Boyzone – nice lads who would never attempt to fleece their fans by selling them some old tat I’m sure. Ahem. After an ill advised impression of The Prodigy’s Keith Flint from Ronan at the top of the show, we’re off with the first artist of the night who is Belinda Carlisle who was experiencing her penultimate UK Top 40 hit with “Love In The Key Of C”. Now, I’m no musician but I did take a few guitar classes over the years which did cover elements of music structure so I know the chord progression in the key of C major is C – G – A – F for example. What I don’t know though is what love in the key of C is. A quick google of the phrase ‘Key of C’ tells me that it’s one of the most common keys in music as it’s also one of the simplest with no sharps nor flats making it easier to play as its key signature is a blank staff. It’s also a neutral key that doesn’t evoke strong emotions making it versatile for various genres and moods. Hmm. A blank staff and doesn’t evoke strong emotions – why that’s a perfect way to describe “Love In The Key Of C” as it’s as dull as Tess Daly’s presenting skills. What’s worse is that one of the lyrics says:

Love in the key of C, you’re my life’s sweet harmony,

It’s the key of Amazing Grace

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Rick Nowels
Love in the Key of C lyrics © Spirit Music Group

Well, I’m sorry Belinda but that’s just not true. “Amazing Grace” was written in the key of F Major. Not since Alanis Morissette came up with “Ironic” had a lyric been so wrong.

Next, it’s another artist whose poster would have adorned the wall of many a teenage lad’s bedroom back then. Following Belinda Carlisle comes Louise with her fifth hit single in a just over a year, all taken from her debut album “Naked”. This one was called “One Kiss From Heaven” and was…hang on a minute…didn’t her ex-band Eternal have a hit called that?!

*checks Eternal discography*

My bad. Their third single was called “Just A Step From Heaven” so I was close – just round the corner you might say. I thought Louise had been recycling a tune for a minute. Anyway, her song was all sultry and sensual but it sounds to me as if it was trying a little too hard to be those things. It was co-written by Simon Climie of Climie Fisher fame who knows his way around a decent pop tune but I’m not sure slinky seduction is his thing really. I guess it was the logical next step in the master plan to change our perception of Louise from wholesome, girl next door to sex goddess but it doesn’t quite convince for me although I’m sure it would have for all those aforementioned teenage boys.

It turns out that Louise did record her own version of that Eternal song for her 2023 Greatest Hits album and called it “Just A Step From Heaven (Reimagined)” and guess what? It sounds just like the Eternal version. Never has the word ‘reimagined’ been so misused since Tim Burton reimagined Planet Of The Apes.

Nice to see Roman Keating get in a name check for my beloved Chelsea in his intro to Robert Miles and Maria Nayler. How so? Well, they feature in his list of things you associate with Italy (Miles was Italian) as, at the time, their team included Gianluca Vialli, Roberto Di Matteo and Gianfranco Zola. Club legends every one of them. Sorry? What about the music? Oh, well “One And One” was holding for a third week at No 6 and so was deemed due another TOTP appearance. The showing of the video would move it up the charts in increments one place at a time until it peaked at No 3 before undertaking a descent down them that would take nearly two months. You’d think given the amount of time it spent inside the Top 40 that I would have strongly associated it with Christmas ‘96 but I don’t, I really don’t. To be fair, there aren’t many singles that do spring to mind when I think of that particular festive period. There’s the Spice Girls obviously and Madonna’s version of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” but after that, nothing much. The Christmas chart had Toni Braxton at No 4 but it had already been in the Top 10 for nine weeks by that point so maybe it was inevitable with long running hits like that and Robert Miles’ that it would be hard to connect them to Christmas when they’d been with us for months. Or maybe, yet again, my memory has just failed me. Always a possibility.

1996 saw a number of artists put together consistent runs of multiple UK Top 40 hits. I’m thinking Shed Seven, Manic Street Preachers and indeed, from this very show, Louise. All of them had at least four singles make the charts and to that list can be added Skunk Anansie for whom “Twisted (Everyday Hurts)” was their fourth hit of the year. Unlike those other acts though, it also started a run of three consecutive songs that would not only chart but which had brackets in their titles. Following this, they had hits with “Hedonism (Just Because You Feel Good)” and “Brazen (Weep)” and it got me to thinking why people put brackets in their song titles. Well, let’s start with what brackets are used for grammatically which is to provide clarity or add extra information. Do we need either of those in a title of a song? Maybe but I would say not. Surely the art form of the musical composition should be about the emotional response that it illicits rather than its syntax? So why do any song titles feature brackets? To add an element of mystery or intellectual rigour to them? I’m not convinced that any song title should have brackets to be honest. And in any case, some of the songs that have employed brackets that I can think of haven’t made any sense at all. Take George Michael and Aretha Franklin’s 1987 duet “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” for example. What was the need for the brackets here? Or what about the near hit single by The Icicle Works called “Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)” that was retitled “Whisper To A Scream (Birds Fly)” for the American market? What was that all about?

As for Skunk Anansie’s foray into bracket world, were they trying to distinguish themselves from the Sad Cafe 1979 hit “Every Day Hurts”? Surely not including those words in the title would have done that? Enough of the linguistics though, what about their song? Well, as with previous single “All I Want”, I actually quite enjoyed it though I couldn’t have told you how it went before watching this TOTP repeat. And there was I thinking that all there was to them was “Weak”.

So what sort of banter or should I say craic did Ronan and Stephen have together as a presenting duo? Well, it was a little bit stilted but their winning Irish accents saw them through even the most cringey of exchanges such as the Bob Marley/ Bob Geldof one that happened in the segue to the Fugees. There’s one bit in it where Ronan sounds as if he’s saying a line from Father Ted. Anyway, “No Woman, No Cry” is straight in at No 2 but I like previous single “Ready Or Not” that also debuted in the same chart position, it wasn’t able to make that leap to the top of the charts the following week.

Was it sacrilege to cover a Bob Marley song? I think they probably just about pulled it off but did Bob himself ever indulge in the art of the cover version? Well, I did find this which is quite extraordinary in its unlikeliness…

Now, I like to think of this blog as irreverent in nature (though many who have read it might use the word ‘irrelevant’ instead) but that tone isn’t really going to cut it for this next song so I’m going to stick to the facts rather than pass any judgement on it.

On 13th March 1996, 43 year old Thomas Hamilton entered the gymnasium of Dunblane Primary School, Stirling and shot dead one teacher and 16 pupils aged between five and six and injured a further 15 people before turning the gun on himself. It remains the deadliest mass shooting in British history and led to the introduction of the Firearms (Amendment) Act 1997 and the Firearms (Amendment) Act No 2 1997 that banned all cartridge ammunition handguns in England, Scotland and Wales. This legislation was the result of the official enquiry into the incident (Cullen Report) and a public campaign (Snowdrop Petition) to ban private ownership of all handguns.

On 9th December 1996, a version of Bob Dylan’s “Knocking On Heaven’s Door” was released accredited to Dunblane which was Scottish musician Ted Christopher with the help of Dire Straits’ Mark Knopfler and featuring singing by children from the town of Dunblane itself (including the siblings of some of the children who were murdered). I can’t find anything online which connects the single explicitly to the Snowdrop Petition campaign but no doubt the two would have been linked in the minds of some parts of the public. The song was rewritten (with Dylan’s consent) to refer specifically to the events of Dunblane with the proceeds from its sales going to children’s charities. The release schedules were cleared by the record labels of all other major artists (including the Spice Girls) at the time so as to give the single a clear path to becoming No 1. Bookmakers agreed to not take bets on it being the Christmas No 1, not wanting to appear to be making profit out of such a tragedy, with a promise that bets on any other artist being honoured if they were at No 2 and Dunblane topped the charts in Christmas week. Although the single did indeed go to No 1, it would only stay there for only one week.

There appears to have been some thought given to the running order by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill as the Dunblane single is followed by the aptly named “Child” by Mark Owen. Not only that but there is no intro from the Boyzone lads just a respectful segue from performance to performance. And not only that but the first line Owen sings is “Sleep peacefully now, my child”. Definitely some consideration there of how to schedule the Dunblane song into the show. As for Mark, he gives a curious delivery of his single, hardly moving and when he does it’s in faint, jilted movements as if he’s the worlds worst escapologist, half-heartedly trying to work out how to get out of the straight jacket he’s in. It does make him look quite vulnerable which was maybe the image he was looking for to match the tone of his single but it’s slightly at odds with the four lads backing him who look like they want to be in a Britpop band – one of them even breaks rank to turn and give a little smile to the camera. Cheeky!

The last artist in the studio is Sheryl Crow who was really getting into her stride by this point. After “All I Wanna Do” had been her massive breakthrough hit two years earlier, her next four singles had underwhelmed in the UK but she bounced back with eponymous, sophomore album the lead single from which “If It Makes You Happy” had restored her to our Top 10. She followed that up with “Everyday Is A Winding Road” which sounded even better than its predecessor to me. Inspired by Crowded House drummer Paul Hester whose character and joie de vivre had a lasting impact on her when she toured with the band as support act, it fair stomps along with a slide guitar and tom tom drums to the forefront. Some critics lambasted it for stealing from “Sympathy For The Devil” by the Rolling Stones but I can’t hear it.

If the line “He’s got a daughter he calls Easter” is about Hester, then there’s a bit of creative licence going on as his daughters are called Olive and Sunday but to be fair if she’d used the latter name, it wouldn’t have scanned at all and might have prompted images of Olive Oyl or Olive from On The Buses (for me at least). Tragically, Hester struggled with depression and lost his battle with it in 2005 committing suicide at the age of 46.

I was in good company with those who liked the song – Prince was such a fan that he recorded a version of it for his “Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic” album and has even performed it live with Sheryl herself.

The Prodigy remain at No 1 with “Breathe” for a second week – a fine achievement for a dance act but there was no way that they would ever cling on to be the Christmas chart topper. Indeed, three other artists would occupy top spot before the actual festive No 1 was announced. That probably said much of how record company release scheduling and promotional campaigns had changed. I can’t imagine such activity could have happened just 10 years prior. To The Prodigy’s credit, “Breathe” would still be in the Top 10 in the Christmas week chart.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Belinda CarlisleLove In The Key Of CNope
2LouiseOne Kiss From HeavenNah
3Robert Miles and Maria NaylerOne And OneI did not
4Skunk AnansieTwisted (Everyday Hurts)No but its not bad
5FugeesNo Woman, No CryNo but my wife had the album
6DunblaneKnocking On Heaven’s DoorNo but please don’t judge
7Mark OwenChildSee 4 above
8Sheryl CrowEveryday Is A Winding RoadNo but I had her Best Of with it on
9The ProdigyBreatheNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0025gmv/top-of-the-pops-29111996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 15 NOV 1996

Why oh why didn’t we have more of this calibre of ‘golden mic’ presenter? Having four of The Fast Show cast in character was a genius move by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill. Or was it his decision? Did it come from higher up within the BBC to promote the first (and so far only) The Fast Show Christmas Special that was aired on 27 December of this year? Whatever the truth, the turn by Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Mark Williams and John Thomson was so much better than the usual standard we’ve seen from the majority of these celebrity hosts. It was certainly a vast improvement on the drivel many of the old Radio 1 DJs used to shovel at us (yes, obviously I’m pointing at you Simon Mayo). We start with the characters of Ted and Ralph who are straight into their uncomfortable relationship mode. I especially like the way Ted says he doesn’t know about Boyzone (sir) but then immediately informs Ralph that Take That have split up.

The first act they introduce is Robert Miles and Maria Nayler with a track called “One And One”. Miles, of course, was the poster boy of the dream house movement and had scored a massive hit earlier in the year with “Children”. Unlike that song and follow up “Fable” which were both instrumentals, this one had actual singing in it courtesy of Nayler who had started her music career with the band Ultraviolet who I’d heard of but had no idea what they sounded like. Someone who did though and who liked what he heard was DJ and producer Sasha who sought Nayler out to record the track “Be As One” which became a Top 20 UK hit earlier in 1996. This would peak the interest of Robert Miles who similarly made contact with Nayler to collaborate on the song “One And One” – clearly Maria had a thing about songs with the word ‘one’ in the title.

So what was this ‘new’ sound like? Well, it was like “Children” with vocals wasn’t it? If you liked that sort of thing then good luck to you but for me it was all fairly insubstantial. If I’ve said this once, I’ve said it hundreds of times but the record buying public didn’t agree with me and sent it to No 3 in the UK charts. However, the dream house phenomenon would peter out from this point on (although it probably morphed into something else). Miles would have just one further UK chart hit (bizarrely with a Sledge Sister) and he himself would pass away in 2017 from metastatic cancer aged just 47.

Next up are Mrs Ted’s favourites the Backstreet Boys. I’m sorry Mrs Ted but I could never understand the appeal of this lot. Awful name, useless songs and most of them were not even that good looking. Without wishing to sound too Little Englander about it, didn’t we have enough boy bands of our own without making space for New Kids In The Block 2.0? Take this song “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” for example. It’s just a sub par version of something Boyz II Men might have released. Somehow though, I still hear their songs played on the radio to this day. Maybe it’s me that’s got it all wrong? Nah, couldn’t be but even if liking the Backstreet Boys was being in the right, I’d rather be wrong. In fact, I want it that way (ahem).

Somebody put some thought into this running order (though clearly not “I’ll Get Me Coat” man who does the intro) as we segue from “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” to “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton. Just like Robert Miles’ “One And One” from earlier, this single had a remarkable chart life partly helped by the fact there was a ballad version and a dance version of the single available to buy. Look at these chart positions though:

4 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 4 – 2 – 4

That’s eleven weeks inside the Top 5 with a climb down the chart being reversed on three separate occasions. Compare that to the chart record of “One And One”:

6 – 6 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 6

Incredible really that two records in the charts at the same time could display such consistency of sales. Working in Our Price at the time, that pattern of sales would also have been hard to order for with the question “surely it’s going to tail off next week?” always in the back of the singles buyer’s mind. Interesting that “One And One” spent three consecutive weeks at No 6. The devil’s music perhaps?

We were always going to see Jazz Club’s Louis Balfour weren’t we and John Thomson duly delivers. It’s the plausible detail of the script that makes this character funny for me – the names of the fictional artists and songs that Balfour introduces that are simultaneously ludicrous and believable. He’s on form in this link referencing Peter Python and The Bop and a track called “Beat My Feet Sweet”. Nice! Not nice though was the real act that he introduces – The Woolpackers with “Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll”. Whose shameless and shameful idea was this to cash in on the line dancing phenomenon that was sweeping the country around this time?! Presumably some executive producer at Emmerdale from where this grotesque abomination originated. I’ve never watched the soap much – it was the one that I could never really get into – and this single wasn’t going to tempt me in.

Supposedly, the group that consisted of three cast members actually featured in a plot line of the show but I couldn’t tell you what the story was. All I knew was that this was a terrible record engineered to fleece fans of the soap or those people who would only come into a record shop once a year at Christmas. Somehow this pile of crap got to No 5 and spent ten weeks inside the Top 40. They repeated the grift the following Christmas with another line dancing song called “Line Dance Party” (the thought that must have gone into naming it!) and there were two whole albums released off the back of this initial nonsense. Here’s a thought, after you’ve done your cha cha slides, your brushes and your heel fans, here’s another move for all those involved in this record – it’s called the ‘hang your head in shame’ and that includes TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill for having it on the show.

In 1995, Michael Jackson had the UK Christmas No 1. Twelve months on and his Yuletide offering was still being sourced from his “HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I” album but “Stranger In Moscow” was no “Earth Song”. In fact, despite its chart peak of No 4, I don’t remember this one at all. I think I can be forgiven as it’s the somnambulist’s anthem, sleepwalking its way from start to finish. Indeed, it’s 65bpm makes it one of Jackson’s slowest songs.

A ballad about loneliness, it apparently drew on Jackson’s personal experience of walking through the city at night alone looking for someone, anyone to talk to. The Russian angle was meant to highlight his feelings of fear and alienation though lyrics like “Armageddon of the brain”, “Stalin’s tomb won’t let me be” and “KGB was doggin’ me” all seem rather clunky and ham fisted. Supposedly the track’s origins came from a bizarre source – the credits theme for the computer game Sonic The Hedgehog 3. What this?

Oh my God! I think I can hear a similarity! And here’s another similarity – a cover of “Stranger In Moscow” by a band I’d never heard of before but whose version actually turns the track (for me) into a decent song. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge and dismiss.

Right, so I’ve now watched the first part of the Boybands Forever documentary on iPlayer and it dealt specifically with the rise of and rivalry between Take That and East 17. It starts with a clip of the latter’s Brian Harvey smashing up a disc for 1 million sales of East 17 records in a fit of rage. The clip was dated as being from 2015 and sees Harvey ranting about grief he’s getting from the police, the CPS, the court system before he finally says turns on the music industry. Now, you may have seen that Harvey has been posting a lot of videos of himself lately where he talks/shouts about conspiracies and cover ups and being censored. His ex-band mate John Hendy got involved by posting a reply video telling Harvey to shut up and move on. Brian, predictably, did neither. Reading between the lines, Harvey seems to be insinuating that events took place during the band’s career that should have warranted an Operation Yewtree style investigation and that they have consistently been covered up and he wants to get the truth out there whatever the cost may be to him personally. He even referenced the recent death of Liam Payne as part of his conspiracy theory. I don’t know where the truth lies in this – why would I? – but all I’m going to say is that, in retrospect, having Ken and Kenneth the “Ooh! Suit you sir!” twins introduce East 17 and Gabrielle perform “If You Ever” hasn’t aged that well.

Ken and Kenneth really push the envelope with their next link to Prince by referring to him as the “purple-headed one” – I think we all understand that double entendre. I say Prince but I think he was officially known as that squiggly symbol thing by this point. Apparently, he’d always wanted to record “Betcha By Golly Wow!” that had originally been a hit for The Stylistics in 1972 but his record company Warners hadn’t allowed it so he got his way once he was free from contractual obligations to them and recorded it for his “Emancipation” album. I have to say that although it seems a logical choice given the range of Prince’s falsetto voice, I’m not sure he does a great job with it. If it was a shout for a penalty in a football match, you’d say that he made a meal of it. It did make No 11 in the UK which suggests the record buying public once again disagreed with me. However, aside from a rerelease of “1999” as the new millennium dawned, he would never have as big a hit in this country again.

In amongst the headlines that were fashioned by the press in the Gary Barlow v Robbie Williams battle, there was another contender for solo artist supremacy who rather went under the radar and yet, for me, his first solo single was better than both his ex-band mates’ efforts combined. The perceived wisdom was that Barlow was the talent when it came to writing songs and was therefore the most likely to succeed out on his own. Williams had generated a lot of press for himself but when it came to it, his first release was a cover version – where were your songs Robbie?

Tiptoeing a path through both came Mark Owen – the pretty young one as described by Ralph in his intro – and therein lay the issue for Owen, that he could be dismissed as just that. Even the TOTP caption adds to the condescending narrative by stating “Wrote this track himself” with the underlying tone being “Who would have thought it?” and yet “Child” is actually very good. Coming on like a cross between Donovan and David Cassidy, Owen delivered a sparkling, shimmering pop song that perfectly suited him vocally. With all due respect, Mark doesn’t have the biggest voice but he didn’t need one for this string drenched ballad. The chart positions for the debut singles by Barlow, Williams and Owen seemed to solidify in the minds of the public some sort of natural order with Gary’s “Forever Love” going to No 1, Robbie’s George Michael cover spinning to No 2 and Mark’s “Child” finding a home at No 3. Those three chart peaks were replicated for all three’s follow up singles as well. It was like some preordained medal podium for ex-members of Take That. Time would show that it would be Williams who would ultimately ascend to the gold medal position in terms of record sales but for Mark Owen it would never get better than a bronze medal. His album “Green Man” didn’t sell in bucket loads (we had a massive overstock in the Our Price where I was working after Head Office buyers mistakenly bought in loads of it thinking it was a surefire winner) and he was dropped by his label within a year. Winning the second series of Celebrity Big Brother in 2002 raised his profile again to the point where he bagged a Top 5 hit with “Four Minute Warning” but it was a case of diminishing returns after that until the Take That reunion in 2006. Mark has continued his solo career in parallel with the band and last released an album in 2022.

In an inspired move, Bob Fleming does the voice over for the Top 10 countdown which obviously means we don’t actually hear much of the Top 10 countdown. In pole position are Robson & Jerome for a second week with their triple A-side single “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. Mercifully, this would be their last ever release (excluding a Best Of and a Love Songs collection that would follow in later years) which makes me wonder if that was the reason behind this triple track product. Going out with a bang and a third No 1 single out of three. Would they have risked doing a Frankie Goes To Hollywood if they’d have gone for a fourth single and missed the top of the charts? Or was it as simple as they’d had enough of this pop star lark and wanted to get back to their day jobs? Presumably they had a contract with their record label RCA so maybe they’d just fulfilled their contractual obligations? Whatever the reason, I think this might be their final TOTP appearance (bar Christmas specials) and I think we can all say “thank f**k for that!”. The madness was over. As for The Fast Show, it would go on for a further two series with the cast reuniting for a 30 anniversary tour this year. Nice.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Robert Miles and Maria NaylerOne And OneNope
2Backstreet BoysI’ll Never Break Your HeartNever
3Toni BraxtonUn-Break My HeartI did not
4The Woolpackers Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly RollAs if
5Michael JacksonStranger In MoscowNah
6East 17 / GabrielleIf You EverSorry Brian – it’s a no
7PrinceBetcha By Golly Wow!No
8Mark OwenChildLiked it, didn’t buy it
9Robson & JeromeWhat Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk AloneSee 4 above

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00256xq/top-of-the-pops-15111996?seriesId=unsliced