Martika

TOTP 12 DEC 1991

Posted on December 20, 2021 by 80stastic

Christmas is coming! Unlike in 2021 where the certainty of what our festive period will be like is now under threat again from the pandemic (or more accurately the government’s handling of it), 30 years ago, some of the most pressing issues we were facing included whether we had enough wrapping paper and remembering to buy a Radio Times to plan our TV watching (very important in the pre-digital age). If, like me, you were working in retail at this time, another consideration was when we could fit in any Christmas shopping of our own after facilitating everybody else’s by working behind a shop counter for hours on end. Oh, and what the Christmas No 1 would be… and please let it not be Cliff Richard again this year. Well, as it turned out, Cliff didn’t really get a look in but which records were in the charts back then? Let’s find out…

We start tonight’s TOTP with one of the year’s biggest breakout stars in Cathy Dennis who is in the studio to perform her fourth Top 40 hit of 1991 and her fifth overall. “Everybody Move” was the final single to be released from her gold selling No 3 album “Move To This” and was a return to the radio friendly dance material of her earlier hits after previous single “Too Many Walls” had seen her go down the slow ballad route.

In all honesty, “Everybody Move” should probably have remained an unreleased album track. It’s pretty lightweight stuff and certainly it doesn’t require a great leap of imagination from this to the kind of stuff that Cathy would end up writing for the likes of S Club 7 and Hear’say later in the decade. Accordingly, it only made it to No 25 in the UK Top 40.

Whilst the reaction on Twitter to this performance focussed on Cathy’s Joker-esque outfit, I was more drawn to her dance move which comes over like a half-hearted Mick Channon windmill celebration…

Now I know I quite often draw on football references for this blog and that I’ve just done it again immediately above but quite why presenter Tony Dortie decides to do the same in his intro to the Top 10 countdown remains a mystery. “It’s day 12 on the Advent calendar, Hearts and Leeds are currently topping things in the football world but let’s see which musical crackers are doing the business in the Top 10” he trills. Hmm. For completions sake, I should note that Leeds Utd would indeed go onto win the old Division 1 league title come May the following year however the 1991–92 Scottish Premier Division season was won by Rangers, nine points ahead of Hearts. Dortie messes up the countdown straight away when he announces that Nirvana are at No 10 with “Smells Like Teen”. What happened to your ‘spirit’ Tony?! Unlike Boris Johnson, at least Tony owns his mistakes…

And he failed miserably x
— DORTIE (@TonyDortie) November 19, 2021

There’s some more curious missing word action next as we get what would probably have been described as a ‘banging’ tune’ back then called “Running Out Of Time” by Digital according to co-host Claudia Simon. That wasn’t their full name though Claudia, was it? No, that was Digital Orgasm – ooh and indeed err missus! This wasn’t anything to do with presenter error by the way as the on screen artist and title graphics confirm that Claudia hadn’t just messed up her intro. This, it would seem, was a TOTP policy decision. Presumably, the use of the word orgasm would have been seen as far too offensive pre the 9 o’clock watershed and so was dropped.

As with all of these dance tunes from this era, I have zero recall of it despite working in a record shop while it was in the charts. Listening back to it now, it sounds like it’s been concocted in a rave laboratory with the basic tune of “Insanity” by Oceanic spliced together with snippets of “Charly” by The Prodigy. Both were huge hits so I guess if that really was the formula behind “Running Out Of Time” then it was a sound one.

As for the performance, it looks as if the TOTP producers have given a bit more thought to how to portray this seemingly endless conveyor belt of dance acts. There appear to be loads more camera cuts and in quick rotation meaning we get lots of different angles of the performers which I’m guessing was meant to try and replicate a more clubby experience. There’s also some slightly different distorted visual effect for the non vocal bits – they’ve lost the Doctor Who green which never worked for me anyway. The woman doing the singing looks almost otherworldly like one of Captain Kirk’s alien love interests which kind of helps things along as well.

“Running Out Of Time” peaked at No 16.

Oh no! It’s the dreaded Cliff Richard! Oh yes though as he’s not No 1! He’s nowhere near the top of the tree actually being at No 19 and there’s only two weeks until Christmas! Talking of trees, the show’s production team have pulled out all the stops for Cliff to make the stage look like his front room at Christmas. A fully decorated tree, a mock fireplace, cards and candles – were Health and Safety informed?! – and Cliff himself in an armchair dressed in a sparkly jacket. For some reason though, they haven’t bothered with the prop of a telephone for the faux phone call part at the beginning of the record leaving Cliff to mime speaking into an imaginary one and then putting it back in its cradle. It just looks weird. I was hoping that Cliff might go full Val Doonican and sing the whole song from that armchair but he’s up on his feet in no time to look sincerely into the camera at us and do some of those wavy arm moves of his.

Does anybody really remember “We Should Be Together”? It’s surely Cliff’s forgotten Christmas single after “Mistletoe And ~~Whine~~…sorry..Wine” and “Saviour’s Day”? You never hear it played on the radio come December despite some of the commercial stations like Magic having cleared all of their playlist schedules to play exclusively Christmas tunes. Somehow it did get to No 10 in the UK Top 40 though it was never a serious contender for the top spot.

We get the video for “Too Blind To See It” by Kym Sims next. It’s introduced by Claudia Simon who says Kym is “kickin’ up a flavour” (that’s probably ‘flava’ isn’t it?) whilst all the time a youth from the studio audience gurns away behind her looking remarkably like a young Mark Ronson.

It turns out that “Too Blind To See It” is a dance record that I do remember (finally)! I think it’s that shuffling back beat and the ‘no man in the world’ sample that must have lodged in my brain. It’s a pretty nifty tune I think and yet it was written and produced by my arch nemesis Steve “Silk” Hurley /aka the man who killed music with his “Jack Your Body” No 1 in 1987. Hmm. Anyway, on reflection it has a ring of “Finally” by Ce Ce Pension to it which is probably no surprise as Kym was the co-writer on her hit “Keep On Walkin'”.

Wikipedia tells me that “Too Blind To See It” was released on the East West Records label who were responsible for a string of dance hits around this time including “Peace” by Sabrina Johnston and “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” by En Vogue. They all had that simple yet distinctive, generic East West cover as I recall or was that only used if they’d run out of the official picture sleeve? Can’t remember now.

“Too Blind To See It” was Kym’s biggest hit peaking at No 5 in the UK although she would have two further and smaller Top 40 hits by the end of 1992.

“Salt n’ Pepa are in the house and rockin’ the mic!” says Tony Dortie as we move back to the studio for their performance of “You Showed Me”. They’ve all come dressed in what looks like black latex jackets while their three dancers have dungarees in the same material making them look like a kinky version of Rod, Jane and Freddy.

The staging of the performance has a feel of West Side Story to it but the choreographer hasn’t really worked out what to do with DJ Spinderella who seems redundant when the rapping kicks in and is left to wander off with her allocated dance partner and act out an argument between them. At the song’s finale she retreats to the back of the stage, goes up the stairs erected there and assumes a rather risqué position by wrapping her legs around his crotch area. I take it back about Rod, Jane and Freddy – they’d have never got up to such vulgar antics! Or would they?…..

Meanwhile over on the other stage we find Right Said Fred about to perform their next hit single “Don’t Talk Just Kiss”. Before we get to the Freds though, I noticed something that I don’t believe we’ve seen before in these TOTP repeats which was the studio audience actually running across the floor to be in place for the next performance. There’s literally about a dozen people behind Tony Dortie all in a rush, vying for a view of the next pop stars on the show. I always imagined that the studio audience was shepherded around the set, the flock to the floor manager’s sheep dog. However, they all seem like they have been let off the leash to roam (or run) wherever they wish. This year zero revamp has a lot to answer for!

Anyway, I must admit that I for one thought we had heard the last of Right Said Fred when “I’m Too Sexy” finally dipped out of the Top 40 and dismissed the whole thing as a one off novelty hit. How wrong I was. “Don’t Talk Just Kiss” was not only another smash for the trio but it was (SHOCK!) a decent tune to boot! How had this happened? Well, proving that they weren’t as daft as they looked, the Fairbrass brothers (and the other one) got soul diva Jocelyn Brown in to sing on the track. Jocelyn’s vocals had already been sampled for Snap!’s 1990 No 1 hit “The Power” whilst her own 1984 hit “Somebody Else’s Guy” would form the hook for George Michael’s 1992 Top 5 hit “Too Funky”. Here though, she was actually singing on the song rather than being sampled although she didn’t actually get any credits on the record. That seems a bit weird as she’s up there front and centre on stage alongside the band for this TOTP appearance so they obviously weren’t trying to play down her contribution.

“Don’t Talk Just Kiss” would prove to be another massive hit peaking at No 3 whilst their album “Up” (released in March of the following year) would top the charts and go double platinum. Over the pond though it was a different story and the band did indeed become the one hit wonder I had thought they were destined to be. “I’m Too Sexy” had been a US No 1 but “Don’t Talk Just Kiss” stalled at No 76. Supposedly radio stations were still playing that first hit when the follow up was released and there was little interest in any Right Said Fred material that wasn’t “I’m Too Sexy”. They would have no further hits Stateside.

The camera pans around to Claudia Simon up in the gantry for the next link and she advises us of four Breakers three of which are stone cold stinkers starting with Jason Donovan and the “Joseph Megamix”. After his surprise No 1 hit earlier in the year with “Any Dream Will Do” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, it was always on the cards that some abomination like this medley would end up being churned out to cash in. With the Christmas party season upon us, it probably seemed like a decent bet that it would be a hit but can anyone say that they’ve ever been to a party where this was put on the turntable and if so, did they not leave immediately?!

“Joseph Megamix” peaked at No 13.

Another megamix! Are you kidding me?! What’s this one then? “The Bare Necessities Megamix” by UK Mixmasters?! Sorry? What? Pardon? And crucially, why? This was a Jungle Book medley that actually only featured two songs – “I Wanna Be Like You” and the titular “Bare Necessities”. You won’t be surprised to know that this heap of shit had Simon Cowell’s fingerprints all over it as it was released on his BMG subsidiary label IQ Records. UK Mixmasters was actually some bloke called Nigel Wright who was also responsible for the equally odious act Mirage who scored some hits in the late 80s doing medleys of house records under the umbrella title of “Jack Mix”. He also did that Saturday Night Fever medley earlier in 1991. What a talented guy!

Talking of talented guys, that’s all round entertainer Gary Wilmot up there promoting this garbage. However, when the track was performed in the TOTP studio the following week, another Gary (Martin) took over the vocalist role. I had to look this guy up but apparently he went onto make his name as an acclaimed voice over actor. We won’t get to see the TOTP with Martin as it’s one of those episodes hosted by Adrian Rose who didn’t give this consent for the repeat to be aired so we’ll miss it. So….just for you… here’s that performance below you lucky people!

Finally some proper music…even if it is U2! Only kidding I liked the “Achtung Baby” era of the band and “Mysterious Ways” was the second single to be released off that album. As a follow up to their No 1 song “The Fly” it was a strong if bold choice. There’s plenty going on in “Mysterious Ways” and most of it was maybe not what we would have expected from the band at the time. This was no po-faced, earnest rock anthem like “With Or Without You” but a groovy, exuberant tune that starts as it means to go on with that wah wah peddle guitar effect from The Edge setting the tone. It sounded so much better to me than “The Fly” and should have been a bigger hit than its No 13 placing although it did make the Top 10 in America. U2 would take this path towards dance experimentation again in 1997 with the electronic influenced No 1 single “Discothèque” but for me, “Mysterious Ways” trumps it by some considerable distance.

What?! New Kids On The Block were still in our charts in December 1991? Hadn’t that particular craze blown out long before this point? Well. yes it kind of had. This single “If You Go Away” was a final hurrah of the initial phase of their career before they briefly regrouped in 1994 for a less than glorious return. They would finally return as an entity in 2008 and are still touring to this day (I think).

“If You Go Away” is a soporific ballad that you can imagine Michael Bolton having rejected as too banal. It was included as the only new track on their first Best Of album called “H.I.T.S.” that was released for the Christmas market. I was the chart cassette buyer at the Our Price store I was working at then and have to admit to a gross over estimate of demand for that album. We hardly sold any and my over optimistic ordering left us with quite a few copies to go into the New Year sale when they again failed to sell. Ah well, yuh learn.

The black and white video is meant to make us perceive them as serious artists as opposed to the unobtainable desire of teenage girls. That and the fact that they had changed their name to NKOTB was a giveaway that they were looking for a new audience. For me though, they would always be more T’KNOB than NKOTB (over ordering of their album aside).

“If You Go Away” peaked at a surprisngly high No 9 in the UK Top 40.

Oh God! I’m in “Martika’s Kitchen”! Yes, it’s time for one of the stupidest song titles of the year courtesy of…well, Martika. On reflection, is it stupid or misunderstood? I don’t think I twigged it at the time but the general consensus on the internet is that “Martika’s Kitchen” is actually filthy! How did I not pick up on this back then?! Firstly, it’s written by Prince which should have been enough evidence of its salacious nature to close the case right there and then. Exhibit B (m’lud) comes in the form of the lyrics, for example:

The table is set, the oven is hot
Baby, when we get started, we won’t ever ever stop

and:

I don’t care I’ve got the chair, if you think your butt’ll fit it
You turn me all the way up, I admit it

In my defence, I think the fact that Martika has chosen to wear some very non-revealing clothes in this performance maybe misled me. As for the sound of the song, at the time it seemed very pop-orientated compared to previous single “Love… Thy Will Be Done” (also written by Prince) but which didn’t seem like it could possibly have been written by the same person. However, on reflection, “Martika’s Kitchen” has some definite Prince hallmarks attached to it although parts of it also remind me of Janet Jackson’s “Nasty”.

This was the second single from her album of the same name and although it sold reasonably in the UK, like T’KNOB before it, I’m pretty sure we had plenty of copies left over for the New Year sale. Perhaps I wasn’t that great at being chart cassette buyer!

George Michael and Elton John are still No 1 with “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”. With two weeks to go, they must have been in the running for the festive chart topper but once “Bohemian Rhapsody” was re-released on the back of Freddie Mercury’s death, all bets were off. George would, of course, score a further No 1 with another cover version two years later, this time of Queen’s own “Somebody To Love” as part of the “Five Live EP” recorded at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert the year before. Elton meanwhile would return in 1992 with his “The One” album the title track of which really was a bit of a dirge.

As we’ve skipped the 19 December show, the next post will be the end of year review.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Cathy Dennis	Everybody Move	Nah
2	Digital Orgasm	Running Out Of Time	No chance
3	Cliff Richard	We Should Be Together	Never happening
4	Kym Sims	Too Blind To See It	Nope
5	Salt n’ Pepa	You Showed Me	No
6	Right Said Fred	Don’t Talk Just Kiss	Negative
7	Jason Donovan	Joseph Megamix	As if
8	UK Mixmasters	The Bare Necessities Megamix	Ditto
9	U2	Mysterious Ways	No but I bought the album
10	NKOTB	If You Go Away	I wish they would – No
11	Martika	Martika’s Kitchen	I did not
12	George Michael and Elton John	Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me	And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0011myd/top-of-the-pops-12121991

TOTP 06 SEP 1991

Posted on October 6, 2021 by 80stastic

CORRECTION: In the post relating to the TOTP broadcast on 22 Aug 1991, I mistakenly reported that this was Bruno Brookes’ last ever appearance as a host on the show as he was removed along with all the other Radio 1 DJ presenters in the ‘year zero’ revamp. I also stated that we would see valedictory appearances by Mark Goodier, Jakki Brambles, Simon Mayo, Nicky Campbell and Gary Davies in the following weeks. Whilst it was true that the above names were replaced by a batch of new presenters from Oct 1991 onwards, it has been brought to my attention that four of those six would return to the TOTP family in 1994 as the year zero revamp was reversed. Only Gary Davies and Jakki Brambles did not reappear. Consequently, my claim about the show not being presented again by Bruno Brookes, Mark Goodier, Simon Mayo and Nicky Campbell is not true although we won’t be seeing them for over two years. Thank you to Matthew James for pointing this out.

Right, now that’s cleared up, I can say that this show was Jakki Brambles final TOTP appearance. Jakki always gave off the impression to me that she was quite disinterested in all this pop music lark and I never found her that convincing as a host. She also seemed to have an issue with the temperature in the TOTP studio with many a Winter coat being worn when surely it must have been boiling under those hot studio lights. She emigrated to the US in 1994, changed the spelling of her name to ‘Jackie’ and stayed there for eleven years as a news radio morning anchor and occasional television news anchor for the CBS network. She returned to the UK in 2005 and presented Loose Women until 2009 and owns her own digital media business called Broadstance Digital Media Production. She currently works on Greatest Hits Radio which seems to be some sort of retirement home for ex Radio 1 DJs as their roster also includes, yes you guessed it, Simon Mayo and Mark Goodier alongside other ‘star’ names as Andy Crane (has no brain) and Pat Sharp.

Right on with the show as we have 14 (FOURTEEN) songs to get through in this one. We start with Oceanic and “Insanity”. I’m pretty sure that this one would have been labelled as a ‘banger’ back then (and maybe even today). A huge anthem, it started life on a short run promo 12″ sending crowds of North-West ravers erm…insane.. whenever it was played. Inevitably, it was picked up for a wider commercial release by Dead Dead Good records and would go on to spend four months on the Top 40 and three months in the Top 10 including three weeks at No 3. Could it have made it to No 1 if that Bryan Adams song had never been released? Possibly although it would probably have got stuck at No 2 behind Right Said Fred. We’ll never know. What I do know however, is that around this time, rave music seemed to be taking over the world or at least the UK anyway. Just about anything that was a ‘dance’ track seemed to attract the ‘rave’ label. Oceanic obviously came under that umbrella but there were also Bassheads (from the same neck of the woods as it happened), K-Klass, Bizarre Inc, Altern 8 etc. Predictably, the scene became homogenised when all these club anthems started to be lumped together on compilation albums like Virgin’s “The Ultimate Rave”. Was that the point where it all started to go wrong? Look, when it comes to dance music, I freely admit that I don’t really know what I’m talking about despite having spent the majority of the 90s working in record shops.

As for Oceanic, despite two further Top 40 hits, they were never able to move on from the success of “Insanity” but that doesn’t seem to be a problem for the band. Back in 2012, in an interview with The Liverpool Echo in a piece about the reopening of a Liverpool nightclub called The State where the band were due to play a set, singer Jorinde Williams said:

“I love getting the metaphorical rave horn out now and again and singing Insanity. It still gives me shivers to see a crowd of grinning, dancing strangers singing back these words I wrote 20 years ago, and that it means something to them.”

The metaphorical rave horn?! That either sounds like something very rude or a band that did a session for John Peel in 1993.

Talking of rave, this next lot were also one of the acts that must have featured on that “The Ultimate Rave” compilation. The Prodigy were up to No 3 by this point with their Public Information Films themed hit “Charly”. Famously sampling the 1973 cut out animation warning children of the dangers of strangers, falling in the water, matches etc via the characters of a boy called Tony and his ginger cat, I notice that the spelling of the cat’s name originally was ‘Charley’ but The Prodigy dropped an ‘e’ (ahem) for the title of their single. That must have been deliberate and an in joke within the band surely?!

Sonia was still having hits into the Autumn of 1991?! That was over two years since her Stock, Aitken and Waterman produced No 1 single “You’ll Never Stop Me Loving You”! In the intervening period she’d eked out a further six hits all of which had gone Top 20. Clearly Sonia wasn’t going to give up on this pop star lark easily. “Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy” however would break that run of Top 20 singles when it peaked just outside at No 22. Our Sonia’s got a band of seven up there on stage with her to deliver the song but no amount of hired hands can distract from the notion that this seemed so incongruous with the rest of the contemporary charts acts. A rave anthem this was not! However, it was a firm favourite amongst the Northern Soul scene – no not Sonia’s version obviously but the version by The Tams which was a minor UK hit in 1970.

Looking at Sonia’s discography (not something I would have thought I would ever be doing) I can see that she still has another three Top 40 entries stretching into 1993 to get through before her well of chart hits finally ran dry. However, two of those were more cover versions and the final one was the UK’s Eurovision entry – so much for Jakki Brambles comment about ‘self-penned tunes’ on Sonia’s second album called …erm…”Sonia” that was released a month after this TOTP appearance. Jakki also refers to her as ‘a good old girl’ at the song’s end. She was 20 when this show was broadcast!

It’s the video for “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt ‘N Pepa next. In a Rolling Stone magazine article in 2017, Salt (Cheryl James) made the distinction that:

“The song was about talking about sex. The song was not about sex. The song was about communication and talking about a subject that nobody wants to talk about”

Pepa (Sandra Denton) added:

“It wasn’t a dirty song. It was an enlightenment song”

So powerful was the song’s message that it was re-worked in 1992 to help promote discussions about AIDS and HIV. Here’s @TOTPFacts with the details:

At the suggestion of ABC News anchor Peter Jennings (who heard his daughter listening to the song), Salt-N-Pepa later reworked "Let’s Talk About Sex" as "Let's Talk About AIDS" for 1992 ABC special Growing Up In The Age Of AIDS. Watch it here: https://t.co/fq1Qt9wbXx #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) October 1, 2021

However, the song has also been used in a much more light hearted way. After Liverpool had secured their sixth European Cup when winning the Champions League in 2019, manager Jurgen Klopp was so overjoyed that he couldn’t help bursting into a rendition of it with the lyrics altered to reflect his club’s achievement. Someone then mixed it with the original track and….

In direct contrast to Sonia earlier with her seven piece backing band packing out the stage, here’s Zoë with with just a sole guitarist for company as she performs her hit “Sunshine On A Rainy Day”. Was Zoë’s style of dancing a thing back then? You know, feet rooted to the floor with the arms supplying all the movement? I guess Susanne and Joanne from The Human League made a 40 year career out of a similar thing.

As the track is coming to an end there’s a shot where you can see Jakki Brambles in place to do the next link in the gantry. What surprised me was that she isn’t even looking at the stage as Zoë is still performing. Look I know she had a job to do but it’s a good 20 seconds before the camera actually comes to her. Remember earlier when I said Jakki always seemed disinterested in the whole pop music thing…? “Good to see that one in the charts at long last” she tells us as she segues into the next act. Well, you didn’t see it Jakki, you weren’t even looking in the right direction! “Sunshine On A Rainy Day” peaked at No 4.

So that next act is Martika with the video for “Love…Thy Will Be Done”. As Jakki tells us, her latest album “Martika’s Kitchen” (terrible, terrible title) has four songs on it that were co-written with Prince including the current single which I think we were all meant to take on board as meaning that she was leaving her pop past behind and becoming a serious artist.

We also knew this because the accompanying video was shot in black and white, that classic trick to ensure that we understood what we were watching had some gravitas to it. No pop fluff this you know. When I was a student at Sunderland Poly we had to make a video short for one of the modules and my group employed the black and white tactic for ours. The point we wanted to make though was that black and white meant dull and boring before the film came alive with the introduction of colour. Out of our way Federico Fellini! Our video was entitled Wet Dream but it’s not what you might think. The black and white footage had a guy called Ian falling asleep in a particularly dull lecture before he went into a dream in colour where he is kidnapped and thrown into a swimming pool. As he awakes from his dream back in black and white he is soaking wet. Genius! We were all do pleased with ourselves! Ah, the folly of youth. I must get around to uploading it one day. “Love…Thy Will Be Done” peaked at No 9.

Meanwhile back in the studio we find some more ravers in Utah Saints with a guy up front on bass guitar looking like what I’m sure Boris Johnson (but not me) would describe as a ‘crusty’. Their performance of “What Can You Do For Me” illustrates perfectly the issues TOTP was facing with showcasing this new fangled rave music. There are no vocals apart from the short samples from Gwen Guthrie, Eurythmics and an intro from a Kiss concert. That leaves the four members of the band having to fill the time somehow. So we have the aforementioned bass player strutting about, a drummer, someone on keyboards and a DJ scratching like his life depending on it. No wonder the show’s producers decided to pad it out with some images from the promo video. To be fair, the track was good enough to not be undermined by the performance and would go up the charts the following week.

Jakki Brambles’ comment on Utah Saints? “They’re a good bunch of lads”. Hang on didn’t she say something similar about Sonia? Yes she did (“ a good old girl”). Presumably this was her default style of phrases she would go to to fill time. A bit like a Tory politician being asked a difficult question and replying “I don’t accept your characterisation of ***”.

Kylie Minogue is up next adding to the female pop star count for this show. We’ve already had Sonia, Zoë, Martika, Salt ‘N Pepa plus Oceanic fronted by Jorinde Williams and now here’s Kylie with her latest single “Word Is Out”. As Jakki says it was her fourteenth consecutive hit but it was also the first to fail to reach the Top 10. Were UK pop fans getting bored of her? No I don’t think so – it was just a shit song. Really weak. It was the lead single from her fourth and final album with Stock, Aitken and Waterman and she seemed to be a bit lost in this stage of her career. Maybe she was just finding her feet in the creative process (she shared song writing credits on six of the tracks). The album had a mixed reception both critically and commercially (it also failed to make the Top 10, her first album to do so). Very much a forgotten Kylie single (when was the last time you heard it on the radio?), its failure to rack up massive sales wasn’t due to a lack of effort on Kylie’s part as she gives the usual energetic performance here, crammed full of more dance moves than Zoë could wave her arms at. That would all be gone come her next single though which (psst… pass it on) was a big R’n’B ballad with Keith Washington. The word was out.

This is totally unfair! Just six minutes left of the show and they cram in another six songs in that time! My poor fingers! This is due to there being four Breakers this week starting with Mötley Crüe with a song called “Primal Scream”. What? I’d rather that sentence read Primal Scream with a song called “Motley Crue”.

This blog appears to have gone umlaut crazy. After the nonsense of the Marc Bölan story the other week and the appearance tonight of Zoë, we have the LA hair metallers with a single to promote their first Greatest Hits album. Hang on, what hits? They’d had just three Top 40 entries before this in the UK and none had hit higher than No 23. To be fair, they were more successful in the US where they’d had six including two Top 10s but I’m not about to let something like the truth get in the way of a petty swipe at them! According to the band’s Nikki Sixx, the song was written about Arthur Janov’s 1970 book The Primal Scream. Yeah, maybe or maybe they just stole the idea off Tears For Fears who named themselves after said book. “Primal Scream” the Mötley Crüe song kept their run of UK singles that failed to breach the Top 20 going when it peaked at No 26.

Another dance anthem now. Sabrina Johnston may only be known for this single “Peace” in this country but she’s not without musical pedigree. She toured with The Sugar Hill Gang in the 80s and was signed to Sugar Hill Records as part of West Street Mob so you know…respect and all. “Peace” was just a huge, uplifting chunk of positivity in the form of a gospel -ish dance track that was written during the Gulf War as an antidote to the feelings of dread and horror that conflict engendered. It was a tune! Peaking at No 8, it returned to the charts the following year as a double A-side with a remix of “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters to promote the “Red, Hot + Dance” charity album.

Talking of whom….now I would have laid money on Crystal Waters having been a one hit wonder but no as here she is with the follow up to No 2 hit “Gypsy Woman” with a song called “Makin’ Happy”. I didn’t much care for her first hit and this one wasn’t going to do it for me either seeing as it was very much in the same mould – indeed it was described as ‘Gypsy Woman, Part II’ in some of the music press. Even in this short clip it just seemed so damn repetitive. Her discography tells me that she had nine Top 40 hits in this country. NINE?!! Don’t panic though, I don’t think we’ll be seeing her again until these TOTP repeats hit 1994 (assuming that they carry on that long).

Roxette complete the Breakers with the third single from their third studio album “Joyride” called “The Big L.” (no punctuation after the ‘L’ , no points). It’s a bit bland this one and it really reminds me of another song (who said anything else by Roxette?!) but I can’t put my finger on it. An ABBA song maybe?It wasn’t released in the US for some reason – not sure why their American record company wouldn’t have had faith in it given their last seven singles released there had peaked at:

1 – 14 – 1 – 2 – 1 – 1 – 2

Now, remember that guy who interviews Jurgen Klopp in that ‘Let’s Talk About Six’ video. Well, his name is Jan Åge Fjørtoft (the theme was umlauts Jan not…whatever they are) who is an ex-professional footballer who turned out for Swindon Town, Middlesbrough, Sheffield United and Barnsley in this country but that’s neither here nor there. Look at him again. He could be the guy in Roxette surely?

OK, what week are we onto now with Bryan Adams and “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”? Nine? Ten? I’m struggling for any more content on this song now. What has @TOTPFacts got for me…

Sorry, I'm now considering this part of the show a tea break until the 16 weeks are over. #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) October 1, 2021

Oh, great, thanks very much! Balls! Well, in a Smash Hits interview (Bryan was not only in the magazine but on the front cover -who’d have thought it?!) he was asked:

Are you mightily chuffed with the single then?

His reply was:

“You could say that”

Bryan Adams there with a magnificently downbeat show of being chuffed about something that has only been matched by David Batty when he was interviewed in Lee Chapmans’ house in Boroughbridge when Leeds Utd won the league in 1992. Asked how he felt about the achievement he replied:

“Well, it’s a bonus”.

Who’s this? Runrig? Oh yes, I remember them. Like a celtic Dire Straits weren’t they? Too glib? OK, well “The Hearthammer EP” was their first Top 40 hit despite having been around since 1973 and as I recall they were a very popular live draw. Indeed, there are almost as many live Runrig albums as studio albums. To prove the point, the video shows the band playing what seems to be a massive outdoor gig. The single was taken from an album called “The Big Wheel” which went gold in the UK. This really does sound like Dire Straits though.

And that’s it from Jakki Brambles. Her comment at the show’s end “Right, I’m off to the Darby and Joan Club” suggests maybe she knew she was for the bullet?

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Oceanic	Insanity	I didn’t
2	The Prodigy	Charly	Nope
3	Sonia	Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy	As if
4	Salt ‘n Pepa	Let’s Talk About Sex	Liked it, didn’t buy it
5	Zoë	Sunshine On A Rainy Day	See 4 above
6	Martika	Love…Thy Will Be Done	Nope
7	Utah Saints	What Can You Do For Me	See 4 above
8	Kylie Minogue	Word Is Out	Nah
9	Mötley Crüe	Primal Scream	Never happening
10	Sabrina Johnston	Peace	See 4 above
11	Crystal Waters	Makin’ Happy	Soundin’ crappy more like – no
12	Roxette	The Big L.	F******g ‘ell more like – no
13	Bryan Adams	(Everything I Do) I Do It For You	I did not
14	Runrig	The Hearthammer EP	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00103fv/top-of-the-pops-06091991

TOTP 22 AUG 1991

Posted on September 29, 2021 by 80stastic

Welcome back to TOTP Rewind where I’m pretty sure we are about to witness the very last time that Bruno Brookes hosted the show. Yes, that annoying little git that seems have been hanging around forever is about to be deprived of one of his regular gigs and it’s come not a moment too soon as far as I’m concerned. I wonder if he knew this would be his last appearance at the time? Obviously it wasn’t just Bruno who was being ousted though. The great TOTP ‘Year Zero” cull that happened in October 1991 would take out all of those Radio 1 DJs that had been inviting themselves into our sitting rooms every Thursday for years in one fell swoop. We will see valedictory appearances by Mark Goodier, Jakki Brambles, Simon Mayo, Nicky Campbell and Gary Davies in the weeks to come. I wasn’t particularly a fan of any of them but Brookes was such an irritating little runt (yes that’s ‘runt’ although it could easily have been another word ending in ‘-unt’) that I think it’s his removal that pleases me the most. Despite his TOTP dismissal, he still had his Radio 1 post that he had been in since 1984 and somehow he would survive for another four years there before new Head of Radio 1 Production Trevor Dann axed him with the infamous words “…Why is Bruno on? You know, he seems to have a charmed life, because if the view was ‘we must get rid of the dinosaurs’, you know we’ve got this behemoth striding the airwaves of dawn”. Anyway, lets see if Brookes makes a decent fist of his last show or if he makes a few howlers like always…

He starts off with zero controversy (even his usually elaborate wardrobe has been toned down) as he introduces someone else making their final TOTP appearance on the show in Midge Ure. I was listening to some Ultravox on Spotify earlier and some of their Ure-period stuff was pretty good. I’m thinking about the likes of “All Stood Still”, “Hymn” and “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” rather than the pompous “Vienna” (which I never liked that much) and the frankly ridiculous “We Came To Dance”. A lot of Midge’s solo stuff paled in comparison to his Ultravox high points. Some of it was OK but even his most successful stuff like surprise 1985 No 1 “If I Was” I found laborious and uninspiring. “Cold Cold Heart” was hardly electrifying and could be filed under the category of ‘meh’.

Although he’s got rid of his horrid ponytail, Midge still has a cracking pair of sideburns on display here. Pretty bold stuff as I don’t remember them being an essential male fashion accessory back then. Of course, these days Midge is actually bald rather than bold. The rather ham fisted attempt to show off the song’s Celtic credentials at the end via the use of three tympanum drums looks a bit daft to me. “Cold Cold Heart” peaked at No 17.

Oh, here we go…what’s Bruno on about now? There are two records at No 21 in the chart run down? What?! For once, Brookes hasn’t made a right ricket as there were two No 21 records that week. Apparently Oceanic and Sophie Lawrence had pulled in the same amount of sales and so, after the furore the previous year surrounding the Dee-Lite / Steve Miller Band debate about who should have been No 1 after sharing the exact number of sales, Gallup had made the policy not to try and separate artists in these circumstances but would instead grant them equal chart billing.

The soundtrack to this unusual countdown was supplied by The Prodigy who were having a huge hit with their debut single “Charly”. Infamously sampling the 1970s BBC Public Information Film Charley Says, I for one did not see them becoming such huge players in the dance scene of the 90s and beyond off the back of it. That mining of vintage Childrens TV programs as source material for dance tracks would become a thing of sorts . Following in the steps of “Charly” came amongst others Smart E’s “Sesame’s Treet”, Urban Hype’s “A Trip to Trumpton” and “Roobarb & Custard” by ShaFt. This short-lived genre even had a name which I was unaware of until now which was ‘Toytown Techno’.

I would come to appreciate The Prodigy much more as the decade wore on and their Glastonbury performance of 1997 remains spectacular. For now though, I think I almost dismissed “Charly” as a novelty. Maybe I just didn’t like to be reminded of those 70s public informations films, of which none were more scary than this one:

“Rave on!” exclaims Bruno at the end of the Prodigy video sounding like he was auditioning for a part in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights. The turd. Right, here’s somebody new even if the song had been out before. Nothing to do with Elkie Brooks (that was “Sunshine After The Rain”), this little pop nugget was called “Sunshine On A Rainy Day” and was written by legendary producer Youth for his then girlfriend Zoë but it failed to find an audience when originally released in 1990 when it peaked at No 53. However a remix by Mark “Spike” Stent earned it a second shot at the charts and this time it powered all the way to a high of No 4. Youth seemed to be preoccupied with writing songs about rain back then as he also co-wrote Blue Pearl’s 1990 hit “Naked In The Rain”.

Zoë’s hit song though captured something of the essence of 1991 it seemed to me. Was it the mix of hypnotic dance beats with a folky song structure or just that uplifting, sing-a-long chorus pre-fixed with a shout of ‘Yay!’ from Zoë that so beguiled? Or was it just that Zoë herself cut quite the pop star figure in this performance? I seem to remember a few male work colleagues being quite taken with her.

Sadly for Zoë, it never got any bigger or better than this for her as a singer. One minor Top 40 hit followed called “Lightning” but her album “Scarlet Red And Blue” disappointed commercially. She returned with a new rock sound in 1996 with a song called “Hammer” which seemed to be trying to ride on the Alanis Morissette bandwagon but nobody noticed nor cared. After its failure, she left the music business to become a sculptor and potter although she has since recorded material under the alias Hephzibah Broom.

So The Prodigy creating Toytown Techno proved to be a case of “What Can You Do For Me” and passed me by completely but an act sampling proper pop records and making them into dance anthems proved to be “Something Good” I could get behind. OK, enough for the puns but I have always had a soft spot for Utah Saints. Their ambition according to themselves was to get rock ‘n’ roll into rave and they achieved this by sampling Eurythmics’ “There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)” and Gwen Guthrie’s “Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But The Rent” to outstanding effect.

Originating from the Leeds club scene where they hosted their own nights, their name was nothing to do with toothy 70s boy band The Osmonds who hailed from Ogden, Utah. No, here’s @TOTPFacts with the real story behind that name:

Utah Saints' name was inspired by the Coen Brothers film Raising Arizona. Jez Willis: "Near the end of it he mentions Utah and we just thought it was quite a nice word. We put the Saints bit on to make it sound like a football team or something like that." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) September 24, 2021

So now you know. Anyway, they hit big immediately with their debut single “What Can You Do For Me” making the Top 10. Now I’ve read both Dave Stewart’s autobiography and a biography of Annie Lennox and I don’t remember anything in either about there being a dispute between Annie and Dave about allowing Utah Saints to use a sample of “There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)” as Bruno Brookes suggests there is. “Annie Lennox wanted it banned but Dave Stewart thinks it’s a smash. What do you think?” he rambles in his intro. I can’t find any mention of it online either. In fact the only Utah Saints / Annie Lennox reference I found was that they did a remix of one of her solo singles (“Little Bird”) in 1993 so she can’t have been that pissed off with them.

Another song that made it to No 10 in the charts was this one from Jason Donovan although Brookes can’t resist one final incorrect chart prediction when he says that it’s “no doubt a future No 1”. Maybe he was basing his forecast on the fact that Jase’s last single “Any Dream Will Do” had gone to No 1. That song’s success though was backed up by Donovan performing it live twice a day all week at the London Palladium in the lead role of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. A little naive I think from Bruno to think that chucking out an unimaginative cover of “Happy Together” by The Turtles would repeat the trick. Not that there’s anything wrong with the song – I love the original version – but Donovan’s take on it brought nothing new to the table at all. It just seemed a lazy choice of song and indeed it had been cynically shoe horned onto his recent Greatest Hits album presumably with the intention of releasing it as a single all along.

Even Donovan can’t really be arsed to sell the record too much in this performance. At one point he does a Paul McCartney ‘whacky tombs aloft’ gesture for some reason and then his panicked facial expression immediately afterwards gives away that he suddenly thought what did I did that for?! “Happy Together” was Jason’s final UK Top 10 hit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icAj2qx3jvQ

It’s that song by Karyn White that was a Breaker last week next. It turns out that Karyn is quite the businesswoman. She started her own music label and entertainment company in 2011 called Karyn White Enterprise Inc and also runs a successful interior design and real estate business. Not content with that, she’s also tried her hand at acting and is still recording with her last release being in 2018. If only she had given video directing a shot as well – it may have livened up the video for “Romantic”. The ‘storyline’ for it as listed on the IMDB database is this:

The music video begins with Karyn White pulling up in a sports car. She sings as she wears pearl necklaces against a gray background. A group of dancers strike poses throughout.

Seruously?! Did somebody pitch that as an idea and got the gig?! “Romantic” peaked at No 23.

“Onto more rave” announces Bruno as we head into the No 21 hit (of which there are two of course this week) sound of Oceanic with “Insanity”. Now you know me, I could never be described as a dance head but after Utah Saints earlier, this is the second dance anthem of the show that I didn’t mind at all. I think it was that huge, euphoric chorus or maybe even the key change at the finale. There seemed to be much more of a traditional song structure to it than some of the other dance tracks of the time. Here’s David Harry of the band on that very subject courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

Oceanic were morally opposed to sampling other acts, and big on hooks. David Harry: "I think there are a lot of similarities between Nirvana and Oceanic. We're into the same dynamics as a way of keeping the listener's attention." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) September 24, 2021

"The best rock music, like Nirvana, is really simple. You can't miss their choruses. It's a chorus, no two ways about it, and it's usually set in a different key from the verse, which is played down to emphasise the chorus even more." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) September 24, 2021

OK, well the comparison between Oceanic and Nirvana slightly undermines the point but I think you get the gist.

What? You want to hear about my Oceanic story? Oh OK. Well, I was once at a freebie record company do (possibly the Ricky Ross album playback) whilst I was working for Our Price and I’d arrived at the venue before any of my colleagues. I’m not great at parties anyway so I found myself mooching around feeling lost. I spotted someone else who appeared to be experiencing the same thing so I decided maybe we could help each other out by striking up a conversation. The person who I started chatting to was *that lady from Oceanic! It turned out she was feeling exactly the same as me and was glad of someone to talk to. Eventually my colleagues and her friends turned up and our time together was over – cue lots of questions from my contingent about who I had been talking to and what did we say to each other. All I remember is that she was very nice and that I learned that her friends she was at the event with were in the middle of some legal action about the songwriting credits to Gina G’s hit “Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit”.

“Insanity” peaked at No 3 and was the best selling dance single of the year and the ninth best selling overall outselling nine No 1 records in the process. Let’s hope whoever wrote it got their just royalties.

*I should give the lady her proper name which is Jorinde Williams although to be fair to me they did call their album “That Album By Oceanic”.

https://youtu.be/Cb0y8y4MfLs?si=mooIp2zP7PsGoUhE

Martika is back! Yes, she of “Toy Soldiers” fame back in 1989 had returned and with a credible song. How so? Well “Love… Thy Will Be Done” was written by Prince of course and much was made of that at the time I seem to remember. It didn’t strike me as an obvious collaboration I have to say but then if you think about it, he has worked with / written songs for loads of different people. There’s even a Prince family tree online which lists them all. Under the section People who recorded songs written or co-written by Prince you’ll find Martika along with Madonna, (Chaka, Chaka, Chaka) Chaka Khan, Sheena Easton, Sheila E, Paula Abdul, The Bangles, Celine Dion, Kenny Rogers and of course Sinead O’Connor. If he could write songs for Celine Dion then Martika wasn’t that big of a stretch! As for the song, I quite liked it – a much more mature sound (that’s the word all the music press used anyway). Bizarrely its drums and bass backing do not vary at all throughout the song in terms of bpm yet somehow it just works.

“Love… Thy Will Be Done” was from Martika’s second album “Martika’s Kitchen” which performed well in Europe but poorly in her native US. The title track would be issued as a single and was a return to the more poppier fare that I would have expected from her.

“Love… Thy Will Be Done” peaked at No 9 on the UK Top 40.

Yet another dance tune as we start the Breakers section with “Lift” / “Open Your Mind” by 808 State. Like previous singles “Cubik” / “Olympic” and “In Yer Face”, this was taken from the band’s third album “ex:el” but unlike those tracks which both went Top 10, the spreadsheet formulas for chart success didn’t work for “Lift” / “Open Your Mind” and it stalled at No 38. I didn’t mind this but to my untrained ear were they all starting to sound a bit the same? Maybe it didn’t matter if you were on the dance floor with chemical substances coursing through you which I wasn’t at this time.

What?! Tin Machine?! F*****g Tin Machine are on TOTP?! In my mind, Bowie’s much maligned super group project had disappeared after their first album in 1989 but having checked out their discography on Wikipedia, I do remember the cover of the second album (“Tin Machine II”) from working in Our Price. I don’t recall this track (“You Belong In Rock n’ Roll”) though. Apparently it was released in a blaze of publicity (it clearly had no effect on me) but it struggled to a chart high of just No 33. Even that paltry chart placing for the musical legend that Bowie is/was turned out to be Tin Machine’s biggest hit. The band had to change labels from EMI to Victory Music to even get that second album released as the lack of hit singles on their debut album had freaked EMI out and they got cold feet about the whole project.

Apparently there’s a studio performance in the next TOTP repeat that involves a chocolate eclair but I’ll keep my powder dry on that one until next time….

Following “The Joker” by the Steve Miller Band and “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash into our charts comes the next vintage track to be reactivated for a Levi’s TV advert. “20th Century Boy” was originally a No 3 hit for T. Rex in 1973 but it was chosen to front the latest Lev’s ad campaign in 1991 and re-issued curiously as being by Marc Bolan and T.Rex.

The advert itself features a very young Brand Pitt and the single’s success in 1991 (it peaked at No 13) , just like The Clash, sparked the release of a T.Rex Best Of album called “The Ultimate Collection ” which, backed by a TV Ad campaign, went to No 4 in the album charts.

It’s a great song and as much as I had a weakness for them, is sooo much better than – “21st Century Boy” by Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

So it’s been a “healthy” chart Brookes advises us before we get to the No 1. Not sure what standards he’s applying to the nations’s pop choices there but it is still suffering from an extreme case of ‘Adamsitis’ as “(EverythingI Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams is still at the summit of the Top 40 for the seventh week running. OK, what can I dredge up about this song that hasn’t already been said so far. My own personal opinion of it? Sure…

Question: Is it a terrible song?

Me: No, but it has a deservedly terrible reputation. No song should be No 1 for 16 weeks.

Question: Ah, so you like it then?

Me: It’s not up there with his best material but I didn’t mind it on first hearing. After the 10th, 20th, 100th time, it lost its appeal certainly.

Question: Did you buy it?

Me: No. I never even considered it. It was so inescapable that even if I’d really liked it, there would have been no point – you heard it all the time anyway.

The play out video is “Mind” by The Farm. It seemed as though this lot’s time in the sun was coming to an end by this point. After the glory of two consecutive Top 10 singles in 1990, impetus had been lost and subsequent singles “Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” with Pete Wylie and “Don’t Let Me Down” failed to crack the Top 20.

Still, not to worry, they had lots of new tunes up their sleeve and “Mind” was the first of those being the lead single from second album “Love See No Colour”. Unfortunately that also failed the Top 20 test and also the Top 30 one as well when it stalled at No 31. In truth, it’s not a great song, lacking the groove of ..erm…”Groovy Train” and the hook of “All Together Now”‘s rousing chorus. It also had some seriously terrible lyrics:

Remember all the good times that we had
Remember those days they were never sad
All our hopes and all our dreams
All our crazy mixed up schemes

I’d have been embarrassed by those in 5th form.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Midge Ure	Cold Cold Heart	Mouldy old fart more like – no
2	The Prodigy	Charly	No
3	Zoë	Sunshine On A Rainy Day	Liked it, didn’t buy it
4	Utah Saints	What Can You Do For Me	See 3 above
5	Jason Donovan	Happy Together	Hell no
6	Karyn White	Romantic	Nah
7	Oceanic	Insanity	No but I didn’t tell Jorinde that
8	Martika	Love… Thy Will Be Done	Nope
9	808 State	Lift / “Open Your Mind	Guess what? No
10	Tin Machine	You Belong In Rock n’ Roll	This belonged in the bin – no
11	Marc Bolan and T.Rex	20th Century Boy	Not the re-release but I have it on a Best Of CD
12	Bryan Adams	(EverythingI Do) I Do It For You	I think we’ve already established the answer to that question
13	The Farm	Mind	Negative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000zwqz/top-of-the-pops-22081991

TOTP 18 JAN 1990

Posted on October 20, 2020 by 80stastic

We’re three weeks into 1990 and I have the deep January blues. I am unemployed, living back at my family home in Worcester and my girlfriend lives 170 miles away in Hull. I haven’t worked since my temporary retail job at Debenhams finished on Christmas Eve so I have no money and my social life is non existent. In terms of things to look forward to, it’s confined to watching my beloved Chelsea make a rare TV appearance (they weren’t considered one of the big six clubs back then) in a live match* screened on ITV some four days earlier. I have no career plans, I am signing on and having to go to the DSS Job Club to be able to make use of free stamps to make applications for positions I don’t want and won’t get anyway. I am floundering.

* We scraped a 1-1 draw with Sheffield Wednesday. It wasn’t great.

I’m guessing that I must have been relying heavily on music at the time to keep me going and give me a lift. No doubt TOTP would have been part of my weekly musical intake. This particular show have better been good…

…as with last week’s TOTP, the opening act on the show were also the closing turn on the previous episode. I wrote in the last post that I wasn’t sure that had ever happened before and yet here is the same phenomenon the very next week! Said opening act are Halo James who host Nicky Campbell describes as a “potent mix of teen appeal and genuine talent”. As ever with the snarky Campbell, you can’t quite tell if he’s taking the piss royally or on the level.

“Could Have Told You So” was the band’s only hit despite being tipped for greatness at the time and I also commented in the last post that they were no better than the likes of Breathe (of “Hands To Heaven” fame) to my ears with their brand of sophisto -pop. Since writing that, I have discovered that their one and only album (“Witness”) was produced by respected record producer Bob Sargeant – whose credits include Haircut 100, The Beat, The Buzzcocks, Motorhead, Dexys Midnight Runners and….yep….Breathe. QED!

Lead singer Christian James clearly decided to mark his debut TOTP performance here by wearing the most god awful multi coloured jacket that reminds me of one of Irish easy listening crooner Val Doonican’s comfy sweaters. Just vile.

Halo James were destined to be one hit wonders, cursed by being a band out of time (their brand of sophisto -pop had long since bitten the dust) and simultaneously a marketing dilemma. Were they a teen band or a credible artist? Indeed Campbell’s intro seems to hint at this dichotomy. However, if “Could Have Told You So” still floats your boat then, as with seemingly every album ever released these days, there is a special edition of “Witness” available including eight (!) bonus tracks.

Asked to name a hit by Lil’ Louis I would be able to respond confidently with “French Kiss” but prodded for a second….I’d dry up completely. And yet there was a second hit and here it is in “I Called U (But You Weren’t There)” and despite my initial lack of recollection, on hearing this back the titular spoken line, in that weird, strung out drawl was instantly familiar. It’s actually almost a reverse of the old Oran ‘Juice’ Jones song “The Rain” except this time the protagonist is the woman who follows Louis in her blue car to see what the bounder was up to.

For this track Louis (real name Marvin Burns) rebranded himself as Lil Louis & the World and the single reached No 16. In fact, it turns out that there was a third hit for Lil’ (as his mum calls him) when fellow US DJ and producer Josh Wink released a track called “How’s Your Evening So Far?” which heavily sampled “French Kiss” in 2000 and took it to No 23 in the UK charts. On a side note, Josh Wink made one of the few tracks that actually give me the jitters and makes me feel anxious and sweaty every time I hear it in “Higher State of Consciousness”. The times the staff in Our Price Stockport used to put this over the shop stereo back in the mid 90s just to see my reaction. Cruel it was.

Martika is up next with a song I really don’t recall at all called “More Than You Know”. This was the third single released from her debut LP following the success of “Toy Soldiers” and “I Feel The Earth Move” and it’s easily the weakest of the three. Apparently it was actually her first single released in the US where it became a No 18 Billboard Hot 100 hit so it was deemed worthy of a run out over here. Her record label Sony really shouldn’t have bothered. It sounds like something Debbie Gibson might have dashed off sat on the toilet during a particularly lengthy shit. Martika even pinches Debbie’s ‘aah, aah’ sighs from “Only In My Dreams”.

Somehow “More Than You Know” scrambled all the way to No 15 in the UK and Martika would return to our charts some eighteen months later with a much more mature sound following her collaboration with Prince on “Love… Thy Will Be Done”.

Back to Nicky Campbell who furnishes us with the lamest of jokes about house booms before introducing one of the seemingly never ending conveyor belt of Italian house acts on the scene at the time in the 49ers.

We’ve already seen this one on the show before and I have very little else left to say about it…except this. Ever wondered what it is the vocalist is actually singing in the chorus to “Touch Me”? It always sounded like ‘Pick a pear and a planet’ to me but apparently the lyrics are actually ‘People can’t understand it’. If you want to know more about the composition of “Touch Me”, here’s @TOTPFacts but word of warning, the Aretha Franklin video is a bit creepy….

Large parts of the vocals in 49ers' "Touch Me" are sampled from "Rock-A-Lott" by Aretha Franklin https://t.co/XFx2ZwNs2q, while the chorus line is sampled from "Touch Me" by Alisha Warren https://t.co/lzujiTMVtM. #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) October 16, 2020

At the end of the 49ers video, we cut back to Campbell in the studio and there’s what appears to be a very young Martine McCutcheon stood behind him as he links to the next act. She’s got a big frizzy perm but it doesn’t half look like her. It couldn’t be could it?

For the love of God….I’m never not dumbfounded by the amount of useless heavy metal acts that seemed to get so much chart action in these TOTP repeats. From Anthrax all the way through to W.A.S.P via Mötley Crüe, all horrible and here’s another bunch of berks in Megadeth. Somehow these LA thrash metalloids racked up seven hit singles in the UK Top 40 between 1990 and 1994 and “No More Mr Nice Guy” was the first. This one wasn’t even their own song but a cover of the old Alice Cooper track which they recorded for the soundtrack of the Wes Craven slasher flick Shocker.

Looking through the band’s discography, I recognise some of their album titles (and indeed covers) from my years at Our Price but mainly for how dumb they sound. The evidence m’lud…

“Peace Sells… but Who’s Buying?”
“Rust in Peace”
“So Far, So Good… So What!”

All the band members seem to have Spinal Tap names as well like Dave Mustaine, David Ellefson, Dirk Verbeuren and Kiko Loureiro. Incredibly, they do seem be genuine and not stage names. Look, I’m sure all of these types of bands have very loyal fan bases who swear by them but …sod it…it’s my blog so “No More Mr Nice Guy” from me… I say they’re shite.

The Breakers are back! Yes, after being ditched in the first two shows of the new decade and seemingly consigned to the TOTP dustbin, the section is back albeit with only two entries in it. The first is “Inner City Mama” by Neneh Cherry. I’d completely forgotten (if indeed I ever knew at all) that there was a fourth single released from Neneh’s “Raw Like Sushi” album but here it is. Apparently it was only released in Europe and New Zealand with the track “Heart” chosen for the US and Australian territories. Why would you need two different tracks to be released in Australia and New Zealand? Seems a bit odd to me that.

I don’t recall this one at all but it has that Massive Attack back beat to it which is hardly a surprise considering Neneh was involved in the Bristol hip hop scene and helped as an arranger on Massive Attack’s seminal “Blue Lines” album. Indeed, the band’s Robert Del Naja co-wrote “Manchild” with her.

“Inner City Mama” fizzled out at No 31.

The second Breaker hardly needs an introduction at all. Easily one of the most recognised songs of the whole decade let alone the year, it would become a stand out moment in musical history thanks to the unnerving performance and vocals of Sinéad O’Connor. We all know that “Nothing Compares 2 U” is actually a Prince song but for me it’s easily the best treatments of one of his compositions especially (ahem) compared to the likes of “I Feel For You” by Chaka Khan (I could never understand the appeal of that one) or the execrable version of “Kiss” by Tom Jones.

The power of the song was completely entwined with the visuals of the video with its almost constant close up on Sinéad’s face and the reportedly natural tears that she sheds at the song’s end.

“Nothing Compares 2 U” will be at No 1 soon enough and also around the globe including the US, Australia and pretty much everywhere in Europe. It became the third best-selling single of 1990, the 82nd best-selling single of the whole decade and was certified platinum. We’ll be seeing loads more of it in the weeks to come so I’ll leave it there for now.

Meanwhile back in the TOTP studio we find The Quireboys who have returned for a second performance of their hit “Hey You”. I didn’t notice this before but what’s with the bulk load of flowers that are spread around the stage, most prominently on the piano? It immediately put me in mind of the cover to the Oasis single “Don’t Look Back In Anger”. That iconic image couldn’t have been inspired by The Quireboys surely?!

Liam went a bit over the top with the
conciliatory flowers he sent to Noel

Often talked of in the same breath as fellow blues rockers Dogs D’Amour, lead singer Spike would ultimately (and perhaps inevitably) collaborate with two members of the Dogs on two separate projects in the 90s.

The Quireboys are still together to this day playing live and releasing new material (their last album was as recent as 2019) albeit with only two original members but including the aforementioned Spike.

Back to Nicky Campbell now for some more stilted audience interaction – he comes across as the archetypal middle aged uncle who thinks he’s still down with the kids. His Top 10 rundown gets increasingly histrionic until he introduces the video for Kylie Minogue’s new hit “Tears On My Pillow” at which point he resorts to the catty behaviour we have seen from him before. Witness:

“And that means that Kylie Minogue has gone straight in at No 2 with the old Imperials song. It appears in the closing credits of the film The Delinquents if you manage to stay in the cinema that long…“

Turn it in Campbell. You’re just making yourself look like a petty, vindictive goon.

Anyway, as for Kylie this would be her fourth No 1 single (albeit only for one week) and would be her last for a decade. I never knew that it was actually on her ‘Enjoy Yourself” album – I always assumed it had been recorded specifically for the soundtrack of The Delinquents film. I did actually catch the movie at the cinema at the time (must have been cheap ticket Thursday or something) and it was ….underwhelming. So underwhelming that I can’t recall what happens in it other than Kylie’s character bleaches her hair blond and goes to prison at one point I think. I’ve never seen the film shown on terrestrial TV since. Wasn’t the male lead meant to be the new Sean Penn or something? Can’t even recall his name now…

*checks internet*

Charlie Schlatter! That was him. Apparently he stayed in acting and is best known for his role as Dr. Jesse Travis in Diagnosis Murder with Dick Van Dyke according to Wikipedia. Hmmm. Kylie meanwhile…

“Tears On My Pillow” was included in the film Grease of course although it’s hardly remembered as one of the big tunes on that soundtrack.

New Kids On The Block still reign at the top of the charts with “Hangin’ Tough”. As with Halo James earlier, there is a deluxe version of their album of the same name that came out this year for the 30th anniversary. In the customer reviews for the album on Amazon I found this one

“Amazing album for anyone who is a blockhead”

I genuinely thought it was someone talking the piss until I realised that ‘blockhead’ must be the collective term given to fans of the band! And then I dug a bit deeper and found that a fan had set up a Facebook page called Blockheads Unite and designed her own logo for it. Unfortunately she seemed to have come up with a idea that was a direct rip off of the design created by Barney Bubbles who did the logo for Ian Dury and The Blockheads that was used in their advertising and promotion. The NKOTB fan was forced to take it down and issue an apology which included the line:

“I had never heard of Ian Drury and The Blockheads”

No, I’ve never heard of Ian Drury either! Cringe!

Thankfully this is the last week that “Hangin’ Tough” is at the No 1 spot but we’ll be seeing plenty more of them in future repeats. Gulp!

The play out video is “N-R-G” by Adamski. Now I’m no dance head but I had actually heard of Adamski before this as he’d appeared on a free 4-track 7″ vinyl single given away with Record Mirror in 1989. I bought said issue and guess what? It’s still in my singles box! I am sorry to say I have never, ever played it.

It featured his track “I Dream of You” which was included on his album “Live And Direct” which had made the charts when released in December 1989. That album also included a live version of “N-R-G” and the track was edited and given a single release the following month. I have to say it never did anything for me (it’s just a load of blips and bleeps to my ears) but I once worked with a girl called Sarah in Our Price who absolutely loved Adamski.

Mr Ski (real name Adam Tinley) took “N-R-G” to No 12 and will be back soon enough later on in 1990 as a fully fledged pop star alongside Seal for one of the sensations of the year in “Killer”.

For posterity’s sake I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Halo James	Could Have Told You So	Could have told you No more like
2	Lil’ Loui & The World	I Called U (But You Weren’t There)	Emphatic no
3	Martika	More Than You Know	More than you NO more like
4	49ers	Touch Me	Nah
5	Megadeth	No More Mr Nice Guy	A thousand times NO!
6	Neneh Cherry	Inner City Mama	No but my wife had the album
7	Sinéad’ O’Connor	Nothing Compares 2 U	Don’t think so
8	The Quireboys	Hey You	No but a Q Album compilation that I bought
9	Kylie Minogue	Tears On My Pillow	No
10	New Kids On The Block	Hangin’ Tough	No but I think my younger sister may have been into them and bough it
11	Adamski	N-R-G	N-O-P-E

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000ng79/top-of-the-pops-18011990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP Rewind – the 90s

My memories of 90s chart music

TOTP 12 DEC 1991

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TOTP 06 SEP 1991

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TOTP 22 AUG 1991

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TOTP 18 JAN 1990

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Some bedtime reading?