We’re back! After an unexpected but welcome week off from reviewing these TOTP repeats due to the BBC’s frankly bizarre decision to suspend BBC4 broadcasts due to the death of Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, the schedule has been rejigged so we haven’t missed any episodes as a result. Back in late November 1990, there was also a major news event (quite literally) as John Major became the new leader of the Conservative party and therefore the new UK Prime Minister following the demise of Thatcher.

Despite an apparent blanket ban on TOTP presenters going anywhere near the political shenanigans of the leadership contest the previous week, maverick host Nicky Campbell almost falls over himself trying to shoe horn in a John Major reference at every turn. “John Major or no John Major – as music shows go this is the nation’s premier – TOTP! Remember if you make it to No 10 here it’s good but it could be better….” he trills before introducing the show’s opening act Dream Warriors with “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style”.

I always quite liked this as I had their first single “Wash Your Face in My Sink”. They certainly had some intriguing song titles this Canadian duo – you had to give them that at least. Heavily sampling Quincy Jones’s “Soul Bossa Nova” (and therefore bringing it to the attention of UK audiences some 7 years before Mike Myers did via his Austin Powers* series of films), this had a similar vibe (did I really just write that?!) to its predecessor and worked pretty well I thought and crucially sounded nothing like the titular jazz (or at least my definition of it). But what was their definition? Well, they mention ‘jazz’, ‘funk’ and ‘a new blend’ in the lyrics but ultimately inform us at the end of the second verse that ‘there is no definition’. Huh. 

And what was with the staffs the pair have in their hands throughout this performance? They put me in mind of Morgan fromThe Walking Dead especially with those coats on that Nicky Campbell makes a big deal of at the end of the song. Dream Warriors released an album with both hits on called “And Now The Legacy Begins” but after the use of the term ‘legacy fans’ in relation to the wanky European Super League concept this week, let’s not go there. 

“My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” peaked at No 13. 

* I never got the whole Austin Powers phenomenon – I just found the whole wretched thing totally unfunny.

I have zero recall of the next song – “Missing You” by Soul II Soul anyone? Apparently it was the third single to be lifted from their second album “Vol. II: 1990 – A New Decade” and would peak at No 22. That whole album was recorded without Caron Wheeler involved and so some guest vocalists were employed – this single featured ‘The First Lady of House Music’ Kym Mazelle, probably best known at this point for her duet with Dr Robert from the Blow Monkeys on “Wait” in 1989. Well, either that or for being name checked in The Beloved’s “Hello” hit from earlier in the year.

Listening to it now, it does sound remarkably similar in tempo and style to their “Keep on Movin'” hit which was a deduction that the music press of the time also came to. Seeing the lyrics written down, the opening lines sound absolutely filthy…

Ooh, yeah
You’re the sweetest
Yeah, baby
Oh, yes, you are
You’re the sweetest
Yes, baby, ooh…

…but despite a Marvin Gaye “Sexual Healing” sample thrown into the mix, they don’t sound quite as obscene on the record. We would not see Soul II Soul in the charts for the whole of 1991 but they would return the following year with their album “Volume III Just Right”. 

Right what’s this nonsense? That Megabass shite again? This was just shameless marketing on behalf of record label Telstar for one of their dance compilation albums. Supposedly, somebody wrote into Smash Hits enquiring about them:

“Who are Megabass? They’ve had a record in the charts for a couple of weeks now but I haven’t seen any pictures of them and I don’t know anything about them. Could you enlighten me?”

That letter was written by one M.Sharpe from Kent. Yeah right. Totally made up! Probably Telstar bought some space in the magazine for extra exposure. Why would anybody have wanted to see photos of two remixers who were from the same stable as those Jive Bunny arses? Unbelievably, Smash Hits did include a picture of them in their reply – two young fellas one of whom looked a bit like Spandau Ballet’s Gary Kemp from the side. Probably some Shutterstock image of random male models. What a total sham!

“Time To Make The Floor Burn” peaked at No 16. 

Oh come on! After that Megabass rubbish we move onto a novelty song! Who’s doing was this?! Simon Mayo?! I should have known. That guy had previous for generating Top 40 hits out of nothing other than his massive ego and his Breakfast Show platform to convince dullard listeners that what they really needed in their lives was to own a copy of “Kinky Boots” by Patrick Macnee and Honor Blackman. Yes, not content with having foisted “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” on us the previous Xmas, he was at it again with a song that the public had clearly rejected twice already. It failed to be a hit when originally released in 1964 and a re-release in 1983 did nothing either. That wasn’t going to stop Mayo though who clearly believed he was radio’s version of King Midas who could turn anything to gold (or at least a Top 10 hit). Quite why Avengers stars Macnee and Blackman recorded this originally I’m not sure (to promote their TV show I guess). On top of everything else , it completely creepy. The bit when Macnee says ‘sexy little schoolgirls’ with almost breathless excitement?! Just horrible. Mercifully, the song is quite short –  just one minute and thirty seven seconds long. Phew! 

Meathead Mayo was at it again in 1991 when he got Monty Python’s “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” to No 3 in the charts whilst “Kinky Boots” made it to No 5. 

Who?! Dimples D?! Nope, I’ve got nothing. I’m not having a good week recall wise. I think it might be linked to the fact that though I was working in a record shop at this point, which you would have thought would have only improved my memory of the charts at this time, the store (Our Price in Market Street, Manchester) had two trading floors and I worked mainly on the ground floor where the albums were. Down in the basement (where all the cool members of staff hung out) was where the singles were at so I didn’t actually get to sell many of them. That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking to that. 

It turns out that Dimples (real name Crystal Smith) had recorded this track back in 1983 as “Sucker DJ’s (I Will Survive)” but it hadn’t achieved amy meaningful success. Fast forward 7 years and ubiquitous remixer Ben Liebrand got his mits on it, added a sample of the theme tune to I Dream of Jeannie* to it, called it “Sucker DJ (A Witch for Love)”and boom! A hit all over Europe, Australia and New Zealand. It’s actually not that dissimilar to the show’s opening song “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” in that it’s a rap over a very familiar sample. 

*I was always more of a Bewitched fan than I Dream of Jeannie – I’m talking US fantasy sitcom series and not Irish all girl groups obviously.  

Now I do remember this! Chris Isaak had been around for years making his twangy, moody guitar music with the added ingredient of his falsetto vocals and yet he was totally unknown over here (well, I’d never heard of him at least). “Wicked Game” appeared as a fully formed, instant classic as Xmas 1990 approached and Chris himself was causing many a heart to flutter. Almost the entire female staff of the Our Price store I was working in seemed to have fallen under his spell as had my wife. 

When I think of Chris Isaak, David Lynch comes to mind immediately but I had forgotten the details of why. It is, of course, because he had featured two of Isaak’s songs in his disturbing Blue Velvet film whilst an instrumental version of “Wicked Game” had been included in his Wild At Heart flick. Lynch was already making waves at this time with Twin Peaks and indeed he would ultimately cast Isaak with a major role in that series’ film prequel Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. So quite the connection between the two really. Chris has had sporadic acting roles including a small role in The Silence Of The Lambs. However, my favourite role of his film wise is as Uncle Bob in That Thing You Do! where he pretty much just does some hand clapping. 

Back to “Wicked Game” and I have a memory of being asked constantly for his album which, as Nicky Campbell advises in his intro, was called “Heart Shaped World”  which of course we didn’t stock as it had done nothing in the UK at that point. After a David Lynch obsessed Atlanta radio station music director played “Wicked Game” and created an irresistible demand for the track and made it a chart hit, record label Reprise did what any right thinking record label would do and shoved out some more material into the market place. A compilation album also called “Wicked Game” containing 11 songs from Isaak’s three albums was released and the track listing was compiled by Phil Knox-Roberts of WEA UK. Why do I mention him? Well, I worked with his brother Paul around this time. ‘Knoxy’ was an Our Price legend and the supplier of many a great tale. One of my favourites was when I played in a football game with him as part of an Our Price team versus a record company reps team at Preston North End’s ground. Knoxy was very proud of his quiff that he had cultivated at this time and when he went down following a collision with an opposition player clutching his head and shouting in pain, we all feared a dreadful injury. As we gathered around him concerned, he stood up, shook his head and said “Does my hair look alright?”. Again, that’s my version of the story and I’m sticking to that. 

“Wicked Game” (the single) peaked at No 10. 

Now I don’t often agree with much that Nicky Campbell had to say in these TOTP appearances of his but I think he was on the money with his intro to the next act. “The new album “Behaviour” has songs that will be remembered for a long time…here’s one of them “Being Boring”, the Pet Shop Boys“. Widely acknowledged amongst the duo’s fan base as their best ever song, it was seen at the time as very much a downturn in commercial fortunes. It stalled at No 20, their first single since 1986’s “Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)” not to make the Top 10 and, at the time, their lowest peaking hit ever. Proving however that wise, old theory that popularity does not great art make, “Being Boring” could well be said to be the perfect pop song. If I’m honest, I wasn’t saying that at the time. It kind of passed me by a bit and I’d preferred lead single from the album “So Hard”. I wasn’t alone in this view. Writing in Smash Hits, Miranda Sawyer dismissed it as an album track. We were both wrong.

“Being Boring” is a template for great songwriting. From the lyrics to the minor chord sequence to the understated yet perennial melody, all bang on the money. Those aforementioned lyrics don’t refer specifically to themselves (as I thought at the time) but they do tell an autobiographical tale of Neil Tennant’s teenage parties through to going to seek fame and fortune in London and the self-realisation of what that meant once achieved. Intertwined in it all is the story of how his childhood friend who had moved to London with him would ultimately die of AIDS. I’m not sure if I’m making too much of this but in their “Pop Art” compilation album of 2003, “Being Boring” is  included on the ‘Art’ CD whereas some of their biggest hits such as “It’s A Sin”, “Heart” and “Suburbia” are all on the ‘Pop’ disc. For what it worth, I very much agree with the track listing here. It does seem to be more than just pop. 

If all that sounds too heavy, then I’ll lighten the mood. Why did Neil turn up for this performance dressed as Inspector Gadget?  

The phrase ‘from the sublime to the ridiculous’ has never been so appropriate as to describe the segue from Pet Shop Boys to the next act who are Bombalu-f*****g-rina! Yes, the hideous concoction that was Timmy Mallett and Andrew Lloyd Webber didn’t even have the good grace to be a one hit wonder. Wankers!

“Seven Little Girls Sitting In The Backseat” (originally a hit for The Avons in 1959) followed the exact same formula  as “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” even down to the insertion of the same ‘Ah Yeah’ sample and ‘Wooh! Yeah!’ loop. The only difference that I can see is that the act seems to have grown an extra peroxide blonde backing singer (presumably to make up the numbers as one of the titular seven little girls). 

Bombalurina‘s version peaked at No 18 and that, praise be, was the last we would see of this whole, sorry undertaking. 

It’s a new No 1 as Vanilla Ice storms to the top of the charts with “Ice Ice Baby”. Watching this back it inevitably looks very dated (as so it should at over 30 years old) and yet at least one thing about Vanilla Ice lasted longer than his music career. Was this the first time that we saw the shaved eyebrow look? Wasn’t that a big thing throughout the 90s and beyond? Is it still a thing now? Look, I’m a 52 year old middle aged man so I have no idea about what is fashionable now – I don’t even know the current phrase that young people use to mean something is fashionable (‘on trend’ maybe?) – but I know shaved eyebrows were a definite thing…erm..at sometime. 

I’m pretty sure the aforementioned Knoxy liked this one if only for the “Rollin’ in my 5.0” lyric speaking of which, the “Yo VIP, let’s kick it” opening line? The VIP part stood for the Vanilla Ice Posse (of course it did). A bit like Elvis and his entourage having TCB rings that were an acronym for Taking Care of Business then? Except much, much lamer obviously. 

Hands up who can name a Deee-Lite song that isn’t “Groove Is In The Heart”? Yup, pretty much none of us then. They do have other songs of course – here’s one now. “Power Of Love” (surely one of the most used title in pop music history) was the follow up to that mighty dance anthem and I have to admit to not remembering at all how this one went. And then I listened to it again and thought ‘that sounds familiar’ and it was for good reason – the chorus hook bears an uncanny resemblance to Madonna’s “Rescue Me”.

So did Deee-Lite influence Madonna or was it the other way round? They were both released (and presumably recorded) around the same time so it’s hard to say. Or is it just one of those massive coincidences that life throws up occasionally? Whatever the true story, what we do know is that “Power Of Love” was Deee-Lite’s last ever trip to the UK Top 40, peaking at No 25. 

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below: 

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000ty1n/top-of-the-pops-29111990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?