We’re four weeks into a make over that saw TOTP adopt a new logo, set, title sequence and theme tune but we should probably remind ourselves that this was nothing compared to the changes going on at Radio 1 under controller Matthew Bannister at this time. Determined to rid the station of its Smashie and Nicey image, Bannister had overseen the exits of such names as Gary Davies, Dave Lee Travis, Simon Bates, ‘Whispering’ Bob Harris and Paul Gambaccini in the 18 months since his appointment and had also made the decision that the station would not playlist any ‘old music’ (typically anything recorded before 1990).

However, there was still a dinosaur clinging on to its very existence that had somehow avoided succumbing to Bannister’s hatchet. Hiding away in the early hours slot was 80s throwback Bruno Brookes. I used to listen to this guy back in the mid-80s when he did the drivetime show and quite liked him but then I was a callow, know-nothing youth. As I matured though, he became irritating to me – the older I got, the more annoying I perceived him to be. And yet, when he was one of the Radio 1 DJs brought back into the TOTP fold by Ric Blaxill in 1994, his presence was almost reassuring and he actually seemed like a safe pair of hands. This wasn’t the view shared by Matthew Bannister and his Head of Production Trevor Dann though. In the 2001 documentary Blood on the Carpet: Walking with Disc Jockeys, Dann recalls how he asked the question “…why is Bruno on?” if there was meant to be a cull on all the dinosaur DJs. Apparently, he did have a loyal audience of truckers tuning in to his early morning show but it wasn’t enough to save him. The day after this TOTP was broadcast, Brookes was sacked by Dann. Brutal stuff.

There were also no Radio 1 DJs on this edition of the BBC’s prime time music show as it was another ‘golden mic’ week, this time filled by D:Ream’s Peter Cunnah. I’d have to say, he’s not a natural presenter. I think his nerves got the better of him to the extent that he overly relies on the prop of his microphone and almost obscures his mouth. The first act he introduces are Perfecto Allstarz with “Reach Up (Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag)”. I spewed out a rant about how egregious I found this track recently when compared to the glorious 1982 original and I haven’t changed my mind in the meantime. For this performance they’ve ditched the guys in the skeleton outfits and replaced them with dancers who are dressed like they’ve just hot-footed it from Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” world tour. Were combat trousers a thing in 1995? Oh, I can’t remember. The vocalist tries to join in with some of the dance moves but can’t keep up and so styles it out with some vague arm waving and a toss of her hair. Not entirely convincing, a bit like the track itself. Not many agreed with this assessment of mine though. The single spent five weeks inside the Top 10 even going back up the charts after dropping the previous week. It eventually peaked at No 6.

Excellent! Another PJ & Duncan hit! Just what we needed! Obviously not but clearly the record buying public of the time couldn’t get enough of them. “Our Radio Rocks” was the duo’s fifth consecutive Top 40 hit and sixth single released from their album “Psyche”. After trying to exploit the Christmas market with a slushy, romantic ballad (“Eternal Love”) last time out, they’re back to the familiar rap/pop formula as typified by “Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble”. An homage to the the power and appeal of radio (sort of), the ‘lyrics’ are primary school level of word play. It begins badly with a chant of “Here we go” and never really recovers. I once started an essay at school with the sentence ‘Thud, thud, thud, thud, his footsteps echoed around the empty street’. My English teacher was appalled but even he would surely agree that my composition was intellectually superior to PJ & Duncan’s effort. The rap starts with an obvious paraphrase from a classic pop hit:

“Video never killed the radio star“

Written by: DENI LEW, MICHAEL OLTON MCCOLLIN, NICKY GRAHAM
Lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

before moving onto the ‘killer’ rhyming couplet:

“DJ are the shepherd and we are your flock, you holler we follow our favourite jock“

Written by: DENI LEW, MICHAEL OLTON MCCOLLIN, NICKY GRAHAM
Lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Oh. I may consider my schoolboy writing a cut above Peej and Deej’s lyrics but when it came to sartorial choices, I’m sad to report I was no better than them. I too once wore a gilet like Dec/Duncan in a moment of fashion madness. My friend Robin, who was staying with us at the time, thought it was marvellous and ripped the piss out of me mercilessly. I bet Ant/PJ would never have done that to his mate!

For Bon Jovi’s last single “Always”, TOTP producer Ric Blaxill had the band perform the song against the stunning backdrop of Niagara Falls. It worked so well that the show repeated the clip a couple of times. The band were at it again for the follow up single “Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night” with them playing in the New York Giants Stadium. Known alternatively as The Swamp, it was also home at the time to the New York Jets but Peter Cunnah doesn’t mention that in his intro. Maybe the Jets weren’t as big a name as the Giants? I’ve no idea. Obviously it doesn’t work as well as a backdrop as Niagara Falls in the wow factor stakes. The stadium lighting doesn’t help as they seem to dazzle too much to me and undermine the shot. Still, credit should be given for trying something different at least.

Like “Always”, the single was another new track taken from their Best Of album “Crossroads” and has proved to be a pretty durable Bon Jovi tune. It’s a crowd favourite live and its flexible structure has enabled the band to perform it in lots of different styles. The style on display in this TOTP here though was that of censorship. The line “all the good shit’s gone” is sung by Jon Bon Jovi as just “All the good is gone”. He could have at least replaced ‘shit’ with the word ‘stuff’ surely?

The problem with these in studio exclusive performances that would showcase a single that hadn’t even been released yet is that they’d crash into the charts the following week thereby requiring another TOTP appearance. Back in the day, only the No 1 record could have guaranteed appearing on consecutive shows. Come 1995, it seemed to be happening all the time. I know it wouldn’t have troubled Ric Blaxill but it’s playing havoc with my blog writing 28 years later. It’s hard to come up with new content on a subject I might have only just posted about a few days earlier. Plus these are events that happened in the past that are immovable; I’m not commenting on Rishi Sunak changing his mind on HS2!

Anyway, all of the above is leading me to Elastica and their single “Waking Up”. Fortunately, the band have provided me with an alternative angle for a write up. Conveniently, they’ve roped in Justine Frischmann’s then boyfriend Damon Albarn of Blur to appear on stage with them. Damon was in the TOTP studio anyway with his own band who followed Elastica in the running order so it probably wasn’t that hard to arrange. The interesting point here though is who’s idea was it? Was it a cross label agreement to help promote both bands? How about a devilish plan by Blaxill to spice up the show? Or perhaps just an impromptu decision between a boyfriend and girlfriend because it would be a laugh? Certainly Albarn seems to be playing his role for comedic effect with his goofy stare from behind his heavy rimmed glasses. There’s no denying that the celebrity couple generated publicity for Elastica but wouldn’t Justine have not wanted to ride on the coat tails of her boyfriend? Perhaps the biggest question of all was what was the deal with the motionless male model looking guys wearing just a towel that were positioned around the stage? They looked like they needed waking up. Ahem.

The inevitable segue into Blur happens immediately. Now bearing in mind that the band’s last single release was “End Of A Century” the previous November and that they wouldn’t release their next for another six months when they squared up to Oasis in The Battle of Britpop, it seems likely to me that this appearance to perform a track from their “Parklife” album (“Jubilee”) was a record label engineered exercise. Billed as an ‘album performance’ by the TOTP caption, it was supposedly to celebrate the band winning four awards at the recent BRIT awards. Well, maybe. It’s true that the show introduced an album chart section during the ‘year zero’ revamp but this wasn’t highlighting a new entry into said chart or the No 1 album. Having checked the officialcharts.com archive, “Parklife” was at No 12 and going down and guess what? After this TOTP appearance, it went up the charts the following week to No 2! Hmm. Is it just me or does all that sound ever so slightly cynical? Or maybe Ric Blaxill could see which way this was all going and decided to be an early adopter of the Britpop movement and embrace and celebrate it?

As for the track, it’s a banger but not the best on the album which is probably “This Is A Low” in my opinion. I’m guessing that the downbeat, melancholy of the song wasn’t seen as suitable for the high octane nature of TOTP not to mention that it was almost double the length of “Jubilee” which might have played havoc with the show’s timings.

Special mention should go to drummer Dave Rowntree for his piss take of Prince’s ‘slave’ stunt where the purple one had the word written on the side of his face to protest at his struggles with record company Warner Bros. Well played Mr Rowntree!

Back in the 80s, I could probably have listed all of Madonna’s singles, possibly in release order but by the mid 90s I’d completely lost my way with her. This despite having worked in record shops since October 1990. Her 90s output just didn’t appeal to me that much. Between 1984 and 1989, Madge was the queen of the pop single, churning out doozy after doozy but for me, something changed after we entered the new decade. It was as if she decided that she was done with all that pop stuff and wanted to develop a more mature sound and be seen as an artist rather than a pop star. Now of course, that was totally within her remit to do so. The Beatles sound changed dramatically from the lovable moptops to the material released from say “Revolver” onwards. George Michael totally reinvented himself after leaving his Wham! pop origins behind. Why shouldn’t Madonna be allowed to take her creativity in a different direction? Absolutely. I’m just saying I didn’t like her 90s hits as much as her 80s ones. That’s not to say she didn’t release anything good during the decade. “Vogue”, “Ray Of Light”, “Justify My Love” are standouts from those years but some of her stuff just didn’t cut through with me.

“Bedtime Story” is a case in point. The title track from her album and co-written by Björk (not a selling point for me), it just seems what we would have called ‘pseudy’ back in the day. A tale of the delights of the unconscious world, it’s far too arty for my pop sensibilities with its ethereal trance beats and pulsing bass. Oh and then there’s the lyrics. Whereas PJ & Duncan’s were lowest common denominator crap, “Bedtime Stories” are painfully highbrow. Check these lines which are spotlighted in the video:

“Words are useless, especially sentences. They don’t stand for anything“

Writer/s: Björk Gudmundsdottir, Marius De vries, Nellee Hooper
Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Hmm. One in the eye there for linguists everywhere. Talking of the video, my God! Pretentious? Moi? It was the most expensive video ever made at the time (though it was outdone by Janet and Michael Jackson’s “Scream” just one year later). Channelling the imagery of surrealist painters like Frida Kahlo and Remedios Varo, it includes scenes such as Madonna giving birth to doves, in a pool with skulls and finally the unnerving sight of her with her mouth where her eyes should be and vice versa. That final image brought to mind the dark fantasy horror of Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth taking the video into the realms of high art. Maybe that’s what Madonna wanted all along. “Bedtime Story” peaked at No 4 thereby banishing for the moment the memories of Madonna’s last single (“Take A Bow”) being the first to not make the UK Top 10 since “Lucky Star” in 1984.

Right, I’m just going to put this out there now. I like Del Amitri. Always have. Not in a superfan type of way but I like what they do in the same way that I like Deacon Blue. Both bands, it seems to me, have something in common and it’s not that they’re both Scottish. No, it’s that they both suffer from being perceived as unfashionable, not edgy enough and, in some people’s minds, even dull. This seems grossly unfair to me. Both have forged longstanding careers (albeit with not insubstantial sabbaticals at times), both have written some pretty darn good songs and both have musicality to spare. So what’s the issue here then? Their images? Sure, they’re not that much to look at (except Deacon Blue’s Lorraine McIntosh who I’ve always had a thing for plus I have female friends who regard Ricky Ross similarly) but surely Del Amitri lead singer Justin Currie’s lambchop sideburns weren’t a deal breaker were they? So what is it that people object to so much? Their lyrics? What’s wrong with writing from the heart about things that you know about? Whatever the reason for the looks of scorn when you admit to liking them, I’ll not be apologising for liking good songs.

Take “Here And Now” for example. The lead single from their fourth album “Twisted”, it’s a great tune. Melodic, excellent laid back Summery feel, lyrics that stick in your head, nice guitar fade out. There’s even some falsetto vocals in there just to mix things up a bit. It’s a nice song. Ah, I’ve answered my own question haven’t I? Nice. That dreaded word that no musician wants to be described as. Oh, I don’t care. I still like it and it’s fairly simple chords mean I can just about strum it on the guitar which is always a bonus.

“Here And Now”only got to No 21 but then Del Amitri have never been about huge selling singles have they? Fifteen Top 40 hits but not one of them got higher than No 11 with most peaking somewhere in the 20s. Albums are a different story though. Of their seven studio albums, only two peaked lower than No 6. The band are back together again now with their last album being as recent as 2021 and they have a tour booked for 2024 as support for Simple Minds. Oh and you can stop that sniggering at the back about the credibility of Simple Minds while you’re at it!

I quite often use this phrase but who the hell were this lot?! Seriously, anybody remember The Glam Metal Detectives? Well, too be fair to us all, they weren’t a proper band but a fictional group in a BBC TV series of the same name. I can honestly say that I never watched any of its episodes but then there were only seven ever made as it only lasted for one series. Wikipedia tells me it was some sort of comedy which combined sketch and sitcom elements. Ah, the BBC trying to be all innovative and subversive eh? No wonder it was shown on BBC2 then. It did have some decent names in the cast including Phil Cornwell and Doon Mackichan both of whom appear in this performance. Their song – “Everybody Up” – was the show’s theme tune and was dreadful despite being written and produced by Lol Creme and Trevor Horn yet somehow managed to spend a whole week inside the Top 40 at No 29.

I think what we have here is a case of TOTP being used not as a reflection of the country’s musical tastes but as a promotional tool for a new show (the first episode was broadcast just an hour after this TOTP aired). There was certainly some manipulation going on this week what with this and the Blur appearance.

Celine Dion is at the top of the pile again this week with “Think Twice”. Despite it being No 1 in half a dozen countries around the world, in the US it only managed to get to No 95. Obviously, with the power of blockbuster film Titanic behind it, they were powerless like the rest of the world to resist “My Heart Will Go On” three years later.

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001qwqy/top-of-the-pops-23021995