TOTP 1991 – the epilogue

And there goes 1991! Phew! So, was it a case of “Thank God that’s all over” or was it that we were all left wanting more? Let’s be honest, it’s option one isn’t it? As ever when I approach the next year of TOTP repeats, my optimism got the better of me and I came out the reviews thinking “it can’t have been as bad as all that surely?” and, as ever, I was wrong. In my defence, after the year of ‘Madchester’ that was 1990, was it unreasonable to have anticipated that 1991 would see a continuation of the dominance of the indie dance scene and all the cultural invention it bought? Sadly, the two biggest names of that movement were conspicuous by their absence. Both Happy Mondays and The Stone Roses were in a state of paralysis as they attempted to follow up on the huge events that were their iconic albums “Pills ‘n’ Thrills And Bellyaches” and “The Stone Roses . The latter were banjaxed by legal issues as they sought to disentangle themselves from their Silvertone recording contract and the Mondays? Well, they were hanging out with Ronnie Biggs in Brazil and doing a lot of drugs weren’t they?

Into the vacancy they created strode indie rock bands like Blur, Jesus Jones and Ride who looked the part but were they really just signings by major labels looking to jump on a bandwagon whose wheels had already come off? By the end of the year, a new dominant strain of rock music would arrive from Seattle in America. The era of grunge was upon us.

Dance music was still in the ascendancy with most of the tunes crossing over into the charts being rave anthems by the likes of The Prodigy, Bizarre Inc, Altern-8 and SL2. Meanwhile, some of the stars of the previous decade made a come back like Paul Young and a trimmed down OMD. Surely the biggest return of an act we’d first seen in the 80s though was by Simply Red who bagged the year’s biggest selling album in “Stars”.

As for TOTP, 1991 was a year of huge change with the ‘year zero’ revamp culling all those familiar Radio 1 DJ presenters in one fell swoop, replacing them with fresh faced youngsters we’d never seen before. A new live vocal performance policy was introduced to mixed results while the whole shebang was moved lock,stock and barrel, relocating from BBC Television Centre in London to BBC Elstree Centre in Borehamwood. It all took some getting used to and judging by the shows I’ve already reviewed, the new changes weren’t an immediate hit.

As usual with these end of year reviews, I like to remind myself of the songs that topped the charts to see if there is were any trends behind the sales and as ever, nothing really seems to make much sense.

Chart date
(week ending)
SongArtist(s)
5 JanuaryBring Your Daughter… to the SlaughterIron Maiden
12 January
19 JanuarySadness (Part I)Enigma
26 JanuaryInnuendoQueen
2 February3 a.m. EternalThe KLF
9 February
16 FebruaryDo the BartmanThe Simpsons
23 February
2 March
9 MarchShould I Stay or Should I GoThe Clash
16 March
23 March“The Stonk”Hale and Pace
30 MarchThe One and OnlyChesney Hawkes
6 April
13 April
20 April
27 April
4 MayThe Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)Cher
11 May
18 May
25 May
1 June
8 JuneI Wanna Sex You UpColor Me Badd
15 June
22 June
29 JuneAny Dream Will DoJason Donovan
6 July
13 July(Everything I Do) I Do It for YouBryan Adams
20 July
27 July
3 August
10 August
17 August
24 August
31 August
7 September
14 September
21 September
28 September
5 October
12 October
19 October
26 October
2 NovemberThe FlyU2
9 NovemberDizzyVic Reeves and The Wonder Stuff
16 November
23 NovemberBlack or WhiteMichael Jackson
30 November
7 DecemberDon’t Let the Sun Go Down on MeGeorge Michael and Elton John
14 December
21 DecemberBohemian Rhapsody / These Are the Days of Our LivesQueen

17 songs had travelled to the summit of the charts. Of them, I would say they broke down like this:

  • 6 by established stars (Queen twice, Michael Jackson, Cher, U2, George Michael and Elton John)
  • 3 by ‘teen’ sensations (Chesney Hawkes, Jason Donovan, Color Me Badd)
  • 2 by ‘new’ artists with a ‘new’ sound (Enigma, The KLF)
  • 2 x novelty records (The Simpsons, Vic Reeves and The Wonder Stuff)
  • 1 by a band with a loyal fanbase that manipulated the release schedules (Iron Maiden)
  • 1 x TV advert tie in (The Clash)
  • 1 x charity record (Hale & Pace)…
  • …and 1 by Bryan Adams.

Some may argue with my categories and you could swap some of the artists around of course. Was “Dizzy” an actual novelty record? Were Color Me Badd really a teen sensation? I had to draw the line somewhere though. Of those 17, I bought two and one of those was by mistake – I’ll let you work out / guess which ones they were. Discounting novelty and charity records and with the exception of Enigma, Iron Maiden and The KLF (and at a pinch U2), it was all very mainstream. Nothing ever seemed to change that much when it came to the really big hit singles. Maybe grunge will change all that in 1992…

Hits We Missed

During these reviews of the year in my other blog TOTP Rewind – the 80s, a lot of the entries in this section were songs and artists that had made it onto the show but those shows were not repeated by the BBC for reasons of taste surrounding hosts that were totally unpalatable today or, in the case of Mike Smith, because of legal restrictions. Thankfully, in 1990, any such restrictions were eradicated as none of the aforementioned hosts were still on the show.

However this vexatious issue returned in late 1991 due to one of the new presenters in the ‘year zero’ revamp (one Adrian Rose) following Smitty’s lead and failing to sign the repeat broadcast waiver! Fortunately, this only resulted in a couple of non transmitted shows but that kiss from Rose will prove to be more deadly in 1992 when multiple repeats won’t be shown. With all that said, there will still a few chart hits we missed seeing this year because they never actually featured on the show despite making the Top 40…

Alison Moyet – This House

Released 30/09/91

Peak chart position No 40

After finding solo stardom in the mid to late 80s after the dissolution of Yazoo, Alison Moyet began the new decade rejecting the notion of pursuing chart hits at any cost and putting artist integrity at the heart of her work. Her first album of the 90s was “Hoodoo” which sold reasonably but failed to produce any big hits as her commercial peak “Raindancing” had done. Maybe that’s what she wanted all along having publicly disowned that 1987 album.

“This House” was the only single from “Hoodoo” to scratch the Top 40 (and it was the lightest of dents) despite being the final of four releases. I think it’s fair to say that the track perfectly demonstrated her reinvention as a serious artist. A haunting, sombre number with a touch of Dire Straits’ “Private Investigations” in the verses, this was no “Weak In The Presence Of Beauty “. Its heavy nature meant that it struggled to find a home though in the rave obsessed charts despite it having originally featured as the B side to Alison’s cover of “Love Letters” which represented the peak of her commercial era. Oh the irony.

The fight for artistic integrity and credibility would continue with the release of the “Essex” album in 1994 before Alison would finally disentangle herself from her record label Columbia and return with “Hometime” some eight years later. Columbia meanwhile would flick the metaphorical v’s at Ms Moyet when they released a compilation of her singles in 1995 called…erm…”Singles” which went to No 1.

The Black Crowes – Hard To Handle

Released 05/08/91

Peak chart position No 39

*Originally released 1990 when it peaked at No 76.

In a year when the charts were seemingly dominated by rave anthems, there was still a small corner of the Top 40 reserved for some revivalist sounds, in this case courtesy of Southern rockers The Black Crowes. I’d certainly never heard of them before this point but apparently they’d been around since 1984 although they didn’t release their first studio album until six years later. That album was “Shake Your Money Maker” which included the band’s take on the Otis Redding song “Hard To Handle”, their first Top 40 hit in the UK.

I didn’t and don’t regard myself as any sort of enthusiast of Southern rock but I didn’t mind this. Knowing the original version of the song helped as well. I don’t remember the album being played on our shop stereo that much but somewhere along the line I also became aware of another single from the album, that being “Twice As Hard” (I think it may have been on that first Q Magazine compilation album that I bought around this time). The band would enjoy their biggest period of success the following year when their second album “The Southern Harmony And Musical Companion” went to No 1 in the US and No 2 in the UK. Rave anthems be gone!

Jellyfish – The King Is Half Undressed

Released 14/01/91

Peak chart position No 39

Sometimes the crazy world of pop throws up some complete anomalies, artists and songs that seem out of time with the era in which they appeared. Jellyfish were a fine example of this phenomenon. Hailing from San Francisco, they took their myriad influences of the likes of The Beatles, The Beach Boys, ELO, 10cc, Queen, Bowie, Wings and XTC and placed them all in a huge cooking pot, set it on a low heat and came up with a new pop cuisine that was both appetising and yet like something you wouldn’t necessarily choose from the menu. Intricate melodies combined with complex harmonies and all glued together by a timeless pop sensibility. Marvellous for pop fans like me but undeniably incongruous in a soundscape of rave and grunge.

Their material would engender a loyal cult following who saw them as the musical missing link but commercial success would remain tantalisingly out of reach despite tour slots with the aforementioned The Black Crowes. They even played at Wembley Stadium before 72,000 people supporting INXS yet “The King Is Half Undressed” would be their only UK Top 40 hit (and then only just). It came from an album called “Bellybutton” which included some great tracks including “Now She Know’s She’s Wrong” and “Baby’s Coming Back” the latter of which was even a No 1 for British boy band McFly in 2007. A sophomore album appeared in 1993 called “Spilt Milk” which the band saw as the natural culmination and apogee of their sound and which drew (probably unhelpful) comparisons with “Pet Sounds” – indeed they had even some ultimately unproductive songwriting sessions with yer actual Brian Wilson! It bombed in America though was better received in this country and the band broke up due to that well worn and weary of excuses ‘creative differences’. Their back catalogue probably demands a better legacy than it is afforded.

Milltown Brothers – Which Way Should I Jump?

Released 11/02/91

Peak chart position No 38

*Originally released 1989 – did not chart

When Tiffany sang “Could’ve Been” in 1988 I’m pretty sure she wasn’t singing about a gang of lads from Colne, Lancashire – not least because Milltown Brothers weren’t formed until a year later – but she…ahem…could’ve been.

Tipped by the NME no less for stardom as the 80s became the 90s, a bidding war by the major labels saw the band sign with A&M records who released a re-recording of “Which Way Should I Jump” (it was originally issued on an indie label two years before) which made them bonafide chart stars when it entered the Top 40 at No 38. A debut album called “Slinky” promised much with some nifty tunes that did much to dispel the idea that they were just another bunch of baggy chancers. I’m pretty sure it was a Recommended Release in Our Price.

However, the fates conspired against them with the release of follow up single “Here I Stand”. According to the band’s own website, the track was denied sales from independent record shops where they had done a string of promotional PAs by the chart compilers who feared chart rigging (officially the single was subject to the process of ‘weighting’) and it peaked at that most unfortunate of chart positions No 41. The repercussions were disastrous. No Top 40 hit meant no TOTP appearance and A&M lost their nerve and faith in the band. A follow up album wasn’t released until two years later by which point all momentum was lost. The band effectively broke up only to reform in 2004 and are still together to this day last releasing an album in 2020.

And yes they were brothers. Well at least singer and guitarist Matt and Simin Nelson are.

Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit

Released 10/09/1991

Peak chart position 7

The first casualty of that unsigned Adrian Rose waiver and it’s a biggie. Who knew back in the Autumn of 1991 what an influence and legacy this song would have? I didn’t that’s for sure. I don’t mind admitting that I didn’t have a clue who Nirvana were nor did I get what all the fuss was about back then. It seemed to all happen overnight, this movement called grunge. Suddenly there were punters coming into the shop asking for that album with the front cover of a naked child, underwater and reaching for a dollar bill on a string. What was going on?

And then I heard the song. I couldn’t understand what they were singing about but then I wasn’t the only one not able to translate those lyrics that seemed indecipherable on first hearing. It didn’t matter. It was a huge cacophony of noise, bludgeoning the listener into submission. Immediately designated a legacy of being the ultimate anthem for a generation of disaffected, nihilistic youths, it is routinely listed at the top of all those polls like ‘The Best Single Ever’ and ‘The Most Important Rock Song Of All Time’. I’m guessing it still resonates with the younger generation some 30 years on even though those who were first turned on by it are now middle aged and thinking about their pension provision. The only track I can think of that has had such a visceral effect since would be “Creep” by Radiohead. Possibly. “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, in short, was a monster.

And then I watched this TOTP performance. God it was awful. From Kurt Cobain’s deliberately tone deaf vocals to his giving the microphone a blow job to the inevitable and uncovincing stage invasion. The band were never invited back. More informed and articulate people than I have already written millions of words about the influence and impact of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain and indeed “Smells Like Teen Spirit” so I don’t propose to write an essay on this but suffice to say that I’m pretty sure I have wigged out like a lunatic to this in some seedy venue on an indie night. Haven’t we all?

Saint Etienne – Only Love Can Break Your Heart

Released 12/08/91

Peak chart position No 39

*”Only Love Can Break Your Heart” originally reached number 95 on the UK Singles Chart. It was re-released in August 1991 reaching a new peak of number 39.

The second of two cover versions in this section comes from a band as far removed from the southern rock of The Black Crowes as it’s possible to be. Before 1991, if anyone had asked me about Saint Etienne, my mind would have immediately reverted to 1977 and that memorable European Cup tie between Liverpool and St Etienne that was one of my first footballing memories. David ‘Supersub’ Fairclough and all that. I would never have thought that 13 years later the defeated French team would provide the name for a dance act that seemed to come out of nowhere but who would transcend their club beginnings and become a cultural force for years to come. I say ‘out of nowhere’ but founding members Bob Stanley and Pete Wiggs had already masterminded a Top 10 hit in ‘91 courtesy of “7 Ways To Love” by Cola Boy, not that I knew of that connection at the time.

I think I first heard their version of Neil Young’s “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” when I covered for a day in the Our Price Piccadilly store in Manchester (I usually worked down the road in the Market Street shop). It never seemed be off the shop stereo that day and it sounded achingly trendy to my ears ( yes ‘trendy’ was still an acceptable word back then!). It had a haunting quality to it combined with a shuffling back beat that immediately created a perception that the band were part of the indie-dance scene. My wife bought the parent album “Foxbase Alpha” and the tracks within it demonstrated that they had much more to them than just that. 60s pop influences combined with club culture sensibilities and some art film samples shaped an experimental yet accessible album. I think “Wilson” might be my favourite track.

Apparently vocalist Sarah Cracknell doesn’t actually do the singing on “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” (those duties were performed by one Moira Lambert) as she wasn’t a permanent band member at the time of recording. As much as I liked the band, I did have a problem with them though. I saw them in concert around 1993 (supported by Pulp no less) but they used backing tracks and only played a 43 minute set! Crackers (she must be known as ‘Crackers’ within the band don’t you think?) announced at the end of the last song that “we’re not a rock band and we don’t do encores”. What a swizz!

Hits That Never Were

Airhead -Funny How

Released 05/10/91

Peak chart position No 57

There’s a surprising number of famous people that hail from Maidstone, Kent. There’s the actors Mackenzie Crook (The Office / Worzel Gummidge), Tamsin Greig (Black Books / Friday Night Dinner) and Shaun Williamson (Barry from Eastenders / erm that’s it). If that wasn’t enough there’s also artist, Children’s TV presenter and national treasure the late, great Tony Hart. When it comes to pop stars though there’s a distinct dearth. Yes, David Bowie lived in Maidstone in the early 60s pre fame as part of blues group Manish Boys but he wasn’t from there. So it fell upon a group of lads in the early 90s to maintain Maidstone’s end in the pop stakes and those lads were called Airhead.

Originally entitled Jefferson Airhead before being threatened with legal action by US psychedelic rockers Jefferson Airplane, they briefly garnered public attention due to their brilliantly poppy single “Funny How” gaining heavy rotation on Radio 1’s playlists. Despite this exposure and its insanely catchy lyric “it’s funny how the girls you fall in love with never fancy you, funny how the ones you don’t do”, it failed to crack the Top 40. They did achieve that feat with follow up single “Counting Sheep” as 1991 turned into 1992 which reached No 35 but it’s “Funny How” that remains their best known work. It was even used to soundtrack some montages in Match Of The Day at the time.

They only released one album called “Boing!!” which made the Top 30 but the band split not long after due to tensions with their record label. For those that know it though, “Funny How” remains one of the biggest and best hits that never were of the whole decade.

Crowded House – Chocolate Cake

Released 22/06/91

Peak chart position No 69

Prior to the start of the 90s, Crowded House we’re pretty much known in the UK purely for their 1987 Top 30 hit “Don’t Dream It’s Over”. Their eponymous debut album it was taken from did exactly zilch over here. Follow up long player “Temple Of Low Men” made even less impact (is there anything lower than zilch?). However, their breakthrough moment would come with the release of third album “Woodface” in 1991 which would sprout four Top 40 hit singles including a Top Tenner in “Weather With You”.

And this one. Very much the runt of the litter, “Chocolate Cake” was the first single to be released from the album and it was largely ignored by the UK. Maybe it was too confrontational for most people. The lyrics take a swipe at multiple targets including overweight Americans, Andrew Lloyd Webber, capitalism and how the masses will accept any old toss served up to them as culturally valid without understanding the value of true art. Something like that anyway. I never did work out who ‘Mrs Hairy Legs’ was though.

A thoroughly forgotten Crowded House track, it didn’t even appear in their 1996 No 1 Best Of album “Recurring Dream” for which the advertising campaign used the tagline “you know more Crowded House songs than you realise”. Clearly not “Chocolate Cake” though.

Elvis Costello – The Other Side Of Summer

Released 08/04/91

Peak chart position No 43

I may have included this one in the review purely because my wife is a big admirer of the artist and I remember buying this one for her (using my Our Price staff discount of course!). I’m certainly no super fan myself but I do like plenty of his stuff. It’s just that since his 70s and 80s heydays he seems to have forgotten to include a melody in most of his tunes. Sorry my love!

“The Other Side Of Summer” couldn’t be described as such though having been deliberately written as a Beach Boys pastiche (early 70s era) and it fair bounces along in a very hummable way. Its musicality is totally at odds with its lyrics though which takes issue with both Pink Floyd and John Lennon with the latter being taken to task for “Imagine” (‘Was it a millionaire who said ‘imagine no possessions’?”).

It didn’t strike a chord with UK music fans though peaking at No 43. Taken from the album “Mighty Like A Rose”, what I most remember about this was the massive Grizzly Adams style beard Costello had grown and that was used in the promotional images surrounding the release. Paddy McAloon eat your heart out!

Lenny Kravitz – Stand By My Woman

Released 14/09/91

Peak chart position No 55

Before bestriding the UK charts later in the 90s with massive hits like “Are You Gonna Go My Way” and “Fly Away” (a chart topper no less), his singles weren’t always hits. Indeed, by the end of 1991, he’d only ever had two Top 40 entries to his name – “Let Love Rule” (No 39) and his breakthrough hit of this year “It Ain’t Over ‘til It’s Over” which just missed the Top 10 when it peaked just outside at No 11.

“Stand By My Woman” was the follow up to that single and it failed to keep the hit momentum going, returning him to the chart doldrums by missing the Top 40 altogether. Why wasn’t it a success? There was no apparent reason. Yes, it was a change of tempo though still a well structured if rather mournful and brooding ballad as opposed to its breezily paced predecessor but who decreed that each song had to sound the same as all your others? Well yes, Stock, Aitken and Waterman obviously but who cares what they thought?

Taken from his “Mama Said” album which I liked so much I bought, its title could have been a direct response to Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man” although it had more in common musically with Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me”.

Lloyd Cole – Weeping Wine

Released 21/10/91

Peak chart position Did not chart

When a lead singer of a successful band goes solo it tends to be an endeavour fraught with potential obstacles. Will your fan base accept you as an individual artist? Should you stick to the formula that made you a star in the first place or try and attract a different (meaning more mature) audience? Will you change your image? Not many have made the transition successfully I would contend. For every George Michael there’s a Limahl. In the case of Lloyd Cole, the former Commotions frontman didn’t pull up any trees commercially but he did produce a more than credible body of work.

After his band called it a day in 1989, Lloyd hit the ground running with two solo albums released in consecutive years. Although hit singles proved to be elusive, the albums sold steadily presumably as he retained his fan base’s interest and devotion at least initially. The second of those albums “Don’t Get Weird On Me Babe” is regarded by some Lloyd aficionados as his creative peak and from it came the single “Weeping Wine”. Hardly my favourite song of his by any standard but there was something about this unassuming, county tinged lament that appealed.

Years on from this I caught Lloyd live at a gig in New Mills, Derbyshire. He was great – entertaining yet self effacing banter with some brilliant tunes. The best thing was the interval though. That’s not a slur on Lloyd at all. During the break in his set, me and my mates Robin and Steve decamped to a pub round the corner from the venue for a quick jar and who was at the bar ahead of us having a whisky but Lloyd himself. I loved that nobody in the pub (including us) bothered him for autographs or selfies. He was just another punter. And of course Lloyd is a Chelsea fan like me. Gotta love the man just for that!

Love And Money – Winter

Released 16/11/91

Peak chart position No 52

Who comes to mind first when you hear the term ‘Scottish rock and pop’? Simple Minds? Big Country? Deacon Blue? Maybe somebody a little less obvious like Teenage Fan Club? Or more traditionally Gaelic like Runrig? How many attempts would it take before this lot came up as an answer I wonder?

I first became aware of Love And Money back in 1986 when their debut single “Candybar Express” started getting airplay on Radio 1. It wasn’t enough to make it a hit but it was a solid marker of things to come. Fast forward two years and their “Strange Kind Of Love” album generated four singles all of which I liked including the title track and “Up Escalator “. Still Top 40 success eluded the band.

By 1991, their third album “Dogs In The Traffic” seemed like a last throw of the dice to achieve the chart placings they deserved. Yet another Our Price Recommended Release, it became their highest charting long player but even then at a paltry peak of No 41. The final single from it was “Winter” presumably kept back to coincide its release with its namesake season. It’s a rather lovely, reflective track that was quite the change from the rawness of “Candybar Express” and the slick 80s production of “Strange Kind Of Love”. Sadly it disappeared like dandruff in a blizzard in the Xmas rush peaking outside the Top 40 yet again at No 52. Criminal really.

Singer and songwriter James Grant is still out there gigging and recording. His band’s debut album was called “All You Need Is…Love And Money”. Perhaps he also needed just a little bit of luck.

Malcolm McLaren – Magic’s Back

Released 21/12/91

Peak chart position No 42

What a curiosity this was but then anything involving Malcolm McLaren was never going to be run of the mill! On Xmas day in 1991, Channel 4 broadcast The Ghosts Of Oxford Street, basically a vanity project by McLaren (who wrote, directed and acts as narrator for the film) detailing the history of the famous London shopping street. The narrative is helped along by the interspersing of musical segments performed by an eclectic array of artists including Tom Jones, Happy Mondays, Sinead O’Connor and Kirsty MacColl and The Pogues doing that Xmas song.

This being a McLaren project though, Malcolm of course grants himself a song in amongst it all and what a song it was. His previous musical output had pushed the boundaries of traditional genres with the likes of “Buffalo Gals” and “Double Dutch” but “Magic’s Back” was a straight up dance floor filling house track ably aided by the vocal talents of Alison Limerick. Malc’s contribution is limited to his rather creepy spoken word intro but the rest of the track is banging! There was a whole album of the songs featured in the film but like the single it didn’t sell that well.

I’m pretty sure that I watched The Ghosts Of Oxford Street on Xmas day in 1991 and I’m equally pretty sure I was very disappointed with it even allowing for my fascination of all things McLaren. You never see it repeated on TV do you? Ever. Funny that.

The Mock Turtles – And Then She Smiles

Released 29/06/91

Peak chart position No 44

I waxed lyrical about The Mock Turtles back when I reviewed the TOTP show on which they performed “Can You Dig It?” months ago in this blog. I don’t therefore propose to rehash all of that again here. However, I did want to include them in this section as they really should have had more than just one hit (and no I’m not counting the 2003 Fatboy Slim remix of “Can You Dig It?”).

Back in 1991 when that song was originally in the charts, the band chose the tried and tested strategy of following it up by rereleasing a previous single. “And Then She Smiles” was originally out in 12” format back in 1989 but it was re-recorded and given a second bite of the cherry to consolidate the band’s commercial breakthrough. It seemed a smart move. The track was radio friendly and not a million miles away from the sound of its predecessor. It had a decent shot of charting. Somehow though, it fell tantalising short. Maybe it didn’t have that X Factor hook of “Can You Dig It?” – its spiralling, psychedelic guitar intro and its bouncing bass groove? Was it actually just a bit too…pedestrian? Not for me I have to say.

The band (or possibly the record company) doubled down on the misstep when it released a third single that sounded just like “And Then She Smiles” in “Strings And Flowers”. Again, I was a fan but it didn’t make much commercial sense to do the same thing as before and expect a better return. It sank without trace and so did The Mock Turtles until that 2003 revival thanks to David Beckham and a Vodafone ad. “And Then She Smiles” finally had its day when it was used as the theme tune to Sky’s comedy drama show Stella which ran from 2012 to 2017 starring none other than my mate Robin’s sister Emma.

Pete Wylie & Wah! The Mongrel – Don’t Lose Your Dreams (Excerpt From A Teenage Opera Part 154)

Released 15,07/91

Peak chart position Did not chart

As the 90s we’re getting going, apart from a couple of collaborations with The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu (aka The KLF) and fellow scousers The Farm, nothing much had been seen or heard of Pete Wylie since his 1986 hit single “Sinful!”. Well, those of us who classed ourselves as Wylie fans had been wowed by a string of excellent singles released in “Sinful!”s wake but as far as the charts were concerned, nothing he offered up to the record buying public had returned him to his former glories. “Diamond Girl”, “If I Love You” and “Fourelevenfortyfour” were all fantastic but each one had come and gone without a sniff of the Top 40. It really was a ludicrous state of affairs given his immense talent for turning a fine tune.

1991 would be a pivotal year for Pete but it had nothing to do with his music. Not that there wasn’t any music. Far from it as he released the album “Infamy! Or How I Didn’t Get Where I Am Today” under his latest pseudonym of Pete Wylie And Wah! The Mongrel. As I recall it was yet another Our Price Recommended Release. It failed to chart at all despite including yet more wonderful tracks to add to his remarkable ‘repertwah’. “Circle Of Salt” and the epic “The Kerry Baby” were standouts for me but the lead single from the album was “Don’t Lose Your Dreams (Excerpt From A Teenage Opera Part 154)”. A sprawling opus with everything chucked into the production and a title that referenced Keith West’s 1967 No 2 hit “Grocer Jack” was possibly out of place in 1991 but Wylie has never been one to play by the rules or do what might be expected of him.

Predictably (and quite wrongly) it sank without trace but that was the least of a Pete’s troubles. On 11th November he suffered a near fatal fall in Liverpool when a railing gave way fracturing both his spine and sternum. Thankfully he made a full recovery. Legend has it that when the paramedics arrived on the scene and went through the usual response questions to ascertain Pete’s level of consciousness and awareness starting with asking him his name he replied “You should f*****g know who I am!”. Pete Wylie ladies and gentlemen, part time rock star, full time legend.

The Real People – Window Pane

Released 06/07/91

Peak chart position No 60

From one scouse legend to another bunch of Liverpudlians who would end up with a legacy of legend makers rather than actual legends themselves. Noel Gallagher was a roadie with the Inspiral Carpets when he first met Tony Griffiths of The Real People who had been a going concern since 1988, touring the world as a major label artist having been signed by Columbia on CBS. They’d released their debut eponymous album in 1991 to positive reviews though commercial success had been harder to come by. Noel wanted to put together a demo for his band Oasis to send out to record labels and Griffiths helped him out by lending him use of The Real People’s own eight track studio. Lacking much in the way of recording know how, Griffiths and his brother and fellow band member Chris showed Noel, Liam et al the studio ropes. The result was the “Live Demonstration” tape that included original versions of many of the tracks that would end up being released on “Definitely Maybe” including “Columbia”, “Bring It On Down” and “Rock ‘n’ Roll Star”.

Although their Manc mates would go onto become the biggest band in the UK by the mid 90s, it never quite worked out for The Real People success wise. One paltry No 38 in 1992 (“Believer”) was the peak of their chart fame and a second album for CBS , though recorded, remained unreleased until 2012 when the band finally made it available independently. However, despite cult status amongst those in the know, the Griffiths brothers went on to write hits for the likes of Cher, Ocean Colour Scene and Atomic Kitten. Their band continues to play live and record with their last album being 2016’s “Monday Morning Breakdown”. The Real People then, the real people behind Oasis. Definitely….maybe.

Their Season In The Sun

Banderas

Communards offshoot group Banderas looked they were onto something in early 1991 when they took their single “This Is Your Life” (nothing to do with Eamon Andrews nor The Blow Monkeys) into the Top 20. Funky yet spiky it was taken from an album called “Ripe” which boasted the musical chops of Johnny Marr and Bernard Sumner as contributors. The all female duo of Sally Herbert and the striking, shaven headed Caroline Buckley shook up the conventional band template and they seemed in the right place at the right time to form a successful chart career. However follow up singles failed to make the Top 40 and the album similarly struggled commercially.

There were no further releases and the band dissolved, left with a legacy of the “whatever happened to…?” conundrum. However, excellent reissues label Cherry Red are just about to release a double CD deluxe version of the album which includes liner notes by Sally and Caroline plus an interview with their by old pal Jimmy Somerville. Banderas – a band ‘ripe’ for reassessment.

Cathy Dennis

One of the biggest breakout stars of 1991, diminutive Cathy came straight outta Norwich and achieved four Top 20 singles and a gold selling album in the space of 12 months. However, the hits dried up as she attempted to consolidate on her success and by the mid point of the decade the game was up. Cannily though, Cathy changed sports and became an in demand songwriter for other artists penning “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” for Kylie, “Toxic” for Britney Spears and “I Kissed A Girl” for Katy Perry.

Chesney Hawkes

Poor old Chezza. Perhaps the ultimate here today gone tomorrow pop star. A five week stint at No 1 with “The One And Only” led to both fame with the public but also derision in the music press. By the end of the year he was pretty much finished. He even has to put up with the ignominy of being labelled a one hit wonder despite follow up single “I’m A Man Not A Boy” going Top 30. Still, he seems like a nice bloke and is happy to play his (not quite) one and only hit in the nostalgia circuit.

Color Me Badd

How on earth did this happen? A group who included a sub standard George Michael lookalike, a Kenny G doppelgänger and a lead singer who was the spit of that god awful rapper Snow somehow managed to have a huge global hit with a song with one of the most teeth grindingly creepy titles of all time?! Come on people! What were you thinking?!

Shamelessly riding the New Jack Swing wave, these four knobheads from Oklahoma briefly caused a sensation when “I Wanna Sex You Up” hit No 2 in the US and topped the charts over here. They looked ridiculous and sounded horrendous. It couldn’t last and it didn’t. One more hit (the candy pop of “All 4 Love”) and that brief craze was over. Color Me Fad anyone?

Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch

When you’re more famous for your kecks than your music then you know you’re in trouble (just ask Kris Kross). Marky Mark would of course go on to have a very successful film career under his real name of Mark Wahlberg but for a brief (chortle) period of time Marky Mark and indeed his Funky Bunch were very hot news indeed. A US No 1 single in “Good Vibrations” led to him being the face (or possibly crotch) of a Calvin Klein underwear advertising campaign. However, the stench of some repugnant homophobic views aired on Channel 4’s The Word would see him rightly vilified and his music career was dead after just two years.

The Railway Children

Wigan New Wavers who having spent their early years on the tracks of the indie charts finally flagged down a mainstream chart hit in 1991 with “Every Beat Of The Heart”. Their late arrival as chart stars didn’t sustain though and despite pursuing a timetable of further hits, their time in the public spotlight was cancelled (ahem).

Sophie Lawrence

Five years on from Nick Berry taking “Every Loser Wins” to No 1, another Eastenders actor tried their luck at the pop game as Sophie Lawrence brought us a pretty straight and sterile version of Donna Summer’s disco classic “Love’s Unkind”. Whereas Berry’s character Wicksy had been a fan favourite (especially amongst the female side of the show’s audience I’m guessing), I’m not convinced that Sophie’s stroppy teenager Diane Butcher was quite so popular. Maybe that’s why her attempt at pop stardom stalled at No 21.

A Stock, Aitken and Waterman produced follow up was recorded (a Kylie album track fact fans) but it was never released and Sophie’s time in the pop merry go round came to a shuddering and final stop. Dum dum da dum dum dum dum ….

Zoë

Like Chesney Hawkes before her, Zoë wasn’t quite a one hit wonder but she is surely only known for one song, her No 4 hit “Sunshine On A Rainy Day”. A well crafted pop/dance crossover with an exuberant chorus, it proved a substantial hit, staying on the charts for 11 weeks. Despite her album being of similar material it failed to convince record buyers of its worth and came and went without anyone hardly noticing. No 37 hit “Lightning” didn’t pull up many trees as a follow up so Zoë quit pop music and reinvented herself as a potter before returning to music trying out rock and folk directions.

Last Words

So where does 1991 rank in terms of musical excellence? It’s not a classic in my book but I don’t think it’s the worst ever either (yes 1993 I’m looking at you). The Top 40 – and therefore TOTP – seemed to be awash with dance tunes of every hue but there were some standout songs for me as well. “Can You Dig It?” by The Mock Turtles, “Sit Down” by James, “3AM Eternal” by The KLF for example.

However, there was an elephant in the room that the whole of the year (almost literally) was dominated by; one song bestriding the charts behemoth like that would forever be associated with 1991. I speak, of course, of “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams. Was it a great big steaming turd brought into existence to remind us that nothing had really changed when it came to mainstream chart music despite the dance revolution or a phenomenon of commerciality that deserved our recognition? Yeah, don’t all rush to reply – I think I know the answer already.

And me personally? How was 1991? I didn’t know it then but this year was possibly the most stable year of the decade work wise. I remained in the same job working at the same record shop (Our Price in Market Street, Manchester) and liked the people I worked with. A brief wobble about the shop being sold off earlier in the year came to nothing and by Xmas I had become the store’s chart cassette buyer! The thrill of it all! 1992 would bring big changes though as for the first time in my life I got a work promotion and became an Assistant Manager but that’s all for future posts

I’ve going to carry on into the 1992 TOTP repeats. Fancy joining me?

TOTP 18 APR 1991

Those generous TOTP producers have seen fit to cram 14 (FOURTEEN!) songs into this particular show which means lots of typing and putting my grey cells through their paces for old muggins here. They’ve shoe horned 5 Breakers in this week which is the reason for the high song count and having timed it, they are squeezed into just 1 minute and 21 seconds of screen time. That’s 16 seconds per song. What was the point of that?! OK, there weren’t too many places that you could watch a music video back in 1991 so was it a case of something was better than nothing? I’m not sure. There was The Chart Show which was a staple of Saturday morning TV by this point having moved from Channel 4 to ITV in 1989 so maybe they were trying to compete with that? There was also MTV Europe though how may of us had access to that back in the day? Whatever the reason, I hope for my sake that this was a one off and the TOTP producers showed some self control in the future.

Tonight’s host is Jakki Brambles and for some weird reason concerning how the brain stores totally irrelevant and throw away bits of info for years, there are some parts of this show that I can really remember mainly surrounding Jakki’s to camera bits. More of that later though as we start the show with James and “Sit Down”. The boys are at No 2 by now and still have designs on that No 1 spot. *SPOILER ALERT* However, the fact that they spent three weeks there and were unable to dislodge Chesney Hawkes must have rankled with not only the band but also their army of fans. Possibly music lovers in general saw it as a monstrous injustice. Possibly.

Anyway, they’re in the studio this week and look happy enough with life especially guitarist Larry Gott who laughs and smiles his way through the performance. After leaving the band in 1995, Gott took up studying Art and Design at Manchester Metropolitan University, specifically furniture design. Somebody I worked with at Our Price in Stockport was also on the course with him and said he didn’t talk much about James at all preferring to just be a student with the rest of the cohort. He graduated in 2000 and won awards for his ‘reaction recliner’ design including the Allemuir Award for Industry and the Blueprint Award for Creativity. Not to be outdone, my colleague at Our Price became a successful freelance graphic designer and photographer. “Outstanding” – as Kenny Thomas might have said.

So if it wasn’t James who would dethrone Chesney, who did do the deed? In an unlikely turn of events, the honour fell to Cher who, despite her last album “Heart Of Stone” being a Top 10 success in 1989, hadn’t had a UK No1 single for 26 years when she topped the charts with “I Got You Babe” as part of Sonny & Cher. The song that rectified this for her was a cover of “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” which had originally been a minor hit for Betty Everett in 1968. Cher’s version was taken from the soundtrack to her latest film project called Mermaids. This family comedy-drama which also stars Bob Hoskins, Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci is rarely shown on TV these days but, and I haven’t seen it since going to the cinema to catch it in 1991, is actually OK as I recall. A little too heavy on the quirkiness and I found Winona’s character a tad annoying but not bad.

The film’s soundtrack featuring original 60s tracks by the likes of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons and Smokey Robinson and The Miracles sold reasonably well off the back fo the success of “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” but I never realised until now that there was a second Cher track on the album called “Baby I’m Yours” (another cover) which had been released as its lead single but which did bugger all in the charts.

So why did the UK go mad for the second single? I really don’t know. Was the film a massive commercial success? According to IMDB, it was ranked the 20th top film in the UK for 1991 – not too shabby but hardly a phenomenon. “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” on the other hand was the third best selling single of the year in 1991 behind only 16 weeks at No 1 “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” by Bryan Adams and Xmas No 1 “Bohemian Rhapsody”/”These Are the Days of Our Lives” by Queen. Sadly, my purchase of it added to its popularity. Now just hold on before you all pile on. The whole thing was a mistake. Firstly, I bought it for my wife and not me. Secondly, she didn’t even want it either as I had purchased the wrong thing entirely in Cher. She had wanted a completely different single that features in next week’s TOTP. Quite how I managed to make such a mistake, I have no idea. The fact that back in 1989 I had bought another Cher single (“If I Could Turn Back Time”) had nothing to do with the whole sorry escapade at all and that is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God!

Whoah! OMD? In the charts in 1991? Yes, it was true. One of the most surprising comebacks of the year (maybe even the decade) was the return of OMD but they weren’t the same beast we had last seen in the Top 40 way back in 1986 with “(Forever) Live And Die”. No, for one, founding member Paul Humphreys had done a runner and left the band! How so? Well, after reaching a commercial peak around the middle of the 80s with the huge US hit “If You Leave” from the Pretty In Pink soundtrack, things had started to unravel. Their next album “The Pacific Age” had been recorded under duress and the results were patchy. The aforementioned “(Forever) Live And Die” had been a sizeable hit but it was the only one from the album which received mixed critical reviews.

Suffering from a creative drought, a Best Of album was released in 1988 which was a huge success going three time platinum but the band were clearly trading on former glories. By 1989, Humphreys (along with two other band members ) had had enough and left to form footnote-in-electronic-music-history band The Listening Pool whilst Andy McCluskey committed to carry on under the OMD name.

“Sailing on the Seven Seas” was the first post Humphreys single and a curious thing it was too. Listening to it now, it seems quite pedestrian though I don’t recall thinking that at the time. That almost shuffling glam rock back beat allied with McCluskey’s plaintive vocals and a decidedly weird Jean Michel Jarre style keyboard solo in the middle and yet the UK record buying public lapped it up. The single would rise all the way to No 3, OMD’s highest charting hit since “Souvenir” some 10 years earlier. I don’t think either McCluskey or record label Virgin really expected that sort of success if they were being honest.

Things would get even better though as “Sailing on the Seven Seas” paved the way for the successful launch of parent album “Sugar Tax” which would go platinum in the UK and spawn a further Top 10 single in “Pandora’s Box”. Remarkable stuff really. OMD were back and how!

Seriously?! Still with Black Box?! That ship hasn’t sailed, struck an iceberg and sunk yet?! This must surely be their last TOTP appearance (please!)? Anyway, they’re here once more with “Strike It Up” and…hang on…did Jakki Brambles say “Will you welcome Black Box featuring Steps”?! Steps?! As in Steps that did “Tragedy”? As in ‘H’ from Steps? Relax, it will be a few years before that lot appear in these TOTP repeats. No, this was Stepz (with a ‘z’ see?) who was the rapper dude on the track. And who was he? Well, as far as I can ascertain, he also went by the names Stepsi and Stepski but his real name was Lee Bennett Thompson and he also worked with Quartz who did that Carole King cover with Dina Carroll. Yeah, I don’t care either. Next!

After the Levis-inspired success of “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, it was inevitable that a follow up single was released by The Clash and what more obvious candidate could there be than “Rock the Casbah“. Similarly pulled from their “Combat Rock” album, it made complete sense even though it had already been a No 30 hit in the UK 9 years previously. I certainly remember it being in the charts back in 1982 but curiously have little memory of it being an even bigger it (No 14) in the charts in 1991.

The video prompted some controversy featuring as it does a Muslim hitchhiker and a Hasidic Jew befriending each other on the road on the way to a Clash gig which, according to director Don Letts, was all “about breaking taboos”. At one point they are seen eating hamburgers in front of a Burger King restaurant whilst later on the Muslim character is seen drinking a beer. Although the track was initiated by the band’s drummer Topper Headon, that isn’t him in the video as he had been sacked for continuous drug abuse by then. That’s actually original drummer Terry Chimes on the drums that we see on screen.

Despite the recent Gulf War BBC black list, the track was chosen by Armed Forces Radio to be the first song broadcast on the service covering the area during Operation Desert Storm and to Joe Strummer’s horror, the phrase “Rock the Casbah” was written on an American bomb that was to be detonated on Iraq during the the conflict. Commercially, it was the biggest US hit that the band ever had and, alongside “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, is predominantly what The Clash are known for ever the pond in some quarters and let’s be fair, it is a f*****g tune!

It’s The Mock Turtles again with “Can You Dig It?”! Excellent! The last time they featured in this blog I rambled on and on about how they had done an instore PA at the Our Price where I was working in Manchester and that I had got on the guest list for their gig that night at The Manchester Academy and about their connection to Jude Law. This week I have dredged up my signed copy of their “Two Sides” album from that PA. I didn’t queue up to have it signed I should add. Rather it was a left over copy after they had finished and I recall having a long discussion with the Assistant Manger about how it should be treated as a promo as it was part of a promotion event. I seemed to put a lot of stock in the fact that it was signed I think rather than if it had cost the shop any money to get it in which surely was the deciding factor when it came to its promo status. For the life of me I can’t recall if it was supplied by the record company FOC or if the shop was charged fo it but the AM won and I had to cough up the readies to buy it. It’s a pretty good album with some lovely pop tunes on it but it does have an awful cover, signatures or no.

“Can You Dig It?” was a hit all over again in 2003 when it was used in that Vodafone advert featuring David Beckham who was still in his Hoxton Fin hairstyle period back then…

…but for me, they will always be a part of my 1991.

“Can You Dig It?” peaked at No 18 on its initial release and at No 19 in 2003.

It’s those pesky, high speed Breakers next, four of which were never shown on the show in full. Five write ups for me then all for the sake of 1 min and 21 seconds worth of videos. Cheers TOTP producers! We start with “My Head’s In Mississippi” by ZZ Top which I have zero recollection of. It only got to No 37 in the charts so I could be forgiven I guess. It sounds a bit like the band doing their best Johnny Cash impression from the 16 seconds we got to hear of it on TOTP – I couldn’t be bothered to root out the track in full to be honest. It was taken from an album called “Recycler” which I don’t remember either though it did have the track “Doubleback” included on it from Back to the Future Part III apparently.

ZZ Top would return the following year with a cover of the Elvis track “Viva Las Vegas” to promote a Greatest Hits album which was much more fun.

Nope, don’t remember this either. “Seal Our Fate” by Gloria Estefan was the second of four singles taken from her “Into The Light” album all of which made the UK Top 40 but none of which made the Top 20. Make of that what you will. If we saw ZZ top channelling their inner Johnny Cash before, this was like Gloria being Britney Spears some 7 years before Britney was Britney. Apparently the video was well received by her fans as if Gloria could do its choreography routine then this was proof that she had made a full recovery from her injuries sustained in a coach crash in March of 1990.

Next on the Generation Game style conveyor belt of Breakers is Silver Bullet with “Undercover Anarchist” which was the follow up to “20 Seconds To Comply”. Again I don’t remember this one at all but then that’s hardly surprising as the TOTP graphics team seemed to have forgotten what the single was called whilst it was still in the charts as their caption reads “Under Anarchist”.

It doesn’t really matter as if I’d wanted to listen to a track with the word ‘anarchist’ in the title then I would have gone for this by one Hull’s finest…

There was a definite hint of 80s chart acts making a comeback in this particular TOTP. After OMD earlier in the show here were Transvision Vamp who had been AWOL for the whole of 1990 after their last chart appearance with “Born To Be Sold ” at the end of 1989. They hadn’t been idle though as they had been recording their third album, the ludicrously entitled “Little Magnets Versus The Bubble Of Babble” and inevitably they wanted to move away from the bubble gum glam pop that had brought them fame and fortune with tunes like “I Want Your Love” and “Baby I Don’t Care”. However, record label MCA weren’t that keen on the idea of the band maturing and refused to release the album in the UK. Instead, it was given a limited world wide release with copies only available in Australia, New Zealand and Sweden. The idea was to see how it did in those territories before a UK released was sanctioned. This lead to many an import copy of the album finding its way into UK record stores. We certainly had one in the Our Price I was working in and we had a Wendy James devotee who would come in week after week to see if the UK release was out yet. I can’t recall if he was tempted by the £20 import CD that we had in stock but if he didn’t buy it then nobody would have.

The lead single from the album was “(I Just Wanna) B with U” and it was the first track that Wendy received an official co-writing credit for. Was it any good though? Well, I was underwhelmed and I’d liked a lot of the band’s previous singles. I wasn’t the only one unimpressed as it struggled to a high of No 30, the band’s last ever UK chart hit. Follow up single “If Looks Could Kill” missed the Top 40 by one place and that was that. By the time that MCA had authorised an UK release for the album, the band had split anyway. Even now, the album is not available on Spotify although its singles are on a Best Of album which can be streamed. Was it the new material that let them down or were the band just an anachronism in the new decade? Who knows but they did burn brightly during their time in the sun.

Talking of 80s pop stars making a 90s comeback, here’s Pete Wylie and he’s joined forces with fellow scousers The Farm to do a re-working of “Sinful”. Yes, despite being completely wonderful, this was the first time Pete had been in the Top 40 since “Sinful” had been a No 13 hit back in 1986. His lack of chart success really is a crime against music.

I’m not totally secure in my knowledge of the circumstances around this release. The Farm were at their commercial peak having secured two Top 10 singles in 1990 with “Groovy Train” and “Altogether Now” from their No 1 album “Spartacus” which was released in the spring of 1991. However, their commercial fall was imminent. They released a third single from the album the Monday after this TOTP aired but “Don’t Let Me Down” peaked at a disappointing No 36. This re-working of Sinful retitled “Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” was a non-album single but presumably it was a live favourite as showcased by the video here.

Later in the year, Wylie would release the criminally ignored album “Infamy! Or How I Didn’t Get Where I Am Today” whilst The Farm would release an album called “Love See No Colour” in 1992 which would fail to chart making them, along with the aforementioned Transvision Vamp and purveyors of blue eyed soul Johnny Hates Jazz as acts that followed up a No 1 album with an LP that failed to chart.

A terrible accident would befall Pete later in the year when he suffered a near fatal fall when a railing gave way in Upper Parliament Street, Liverpool causing him to fracture his spine and his sternum. The legend goes that when the ambulance crew turned up and did their usual checks including to ask what the injured party’s name was, Pete replied ‘You should f*****g know who I am!”. I love Pete Wylie!

“Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” peaked at No 28.

Next a song that was… well…just bizarre and yet it just worked. Despite no longer being the chart topper he was in the 80s, Paul Young was doing a decent job of keeping his career going into the new decade with a couple of Top 40 hits in 1990 from his “Other Voices”. By the time 1991 came around though, he had also had a couple of flops. So what do you do when your career needs a lift? Release a Best Of album of course! “From Time to Time – The Singles Collection” was a huge success going to No 1 and three time platinum in the UK off the back of an extensive TV ad campaign.

The album included three new tracks that were in fact cover versions that all ended up being released as singles. “Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)” was the first of those and was actually a duet with some geezer called Zucchero. I’d never heard of him before at the time but, as Jakki Brambles says in her intro, he was a very big deal indeed in his native Italy. “Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)” was actually his song and he had released it himself back in 1987. When Paul Young heard it whilst on holiday there, he approached the Z man about covering it but the reply came back ‘why don’t we do it as a duet?’. And so it came to pass that Paul Young would have his biggest hit since “Every Time You Go Away” back in 1985 stood next to a bloke who, according to the reaction on Twitter when this TOTP was re-shown the other week, looked very much like Keith Lemon. They have a point.

I think it’s the lyrics which make this record so curiously memorable. Certainly some of the lines have stayed with myself and my wife all these years. For example, ‘Look at me, I’m a flower’ and ‘You got to dig a little deeper lady’ stand out – maybe they didn’t translate too well from Italian to English. It’s the ‘even doing my own cooking’ line though that steals it. At the time, I wasn’t the most handy in the kitchen and so anything that I did produce would be met with a retort of ‘even doing my own cooking’ by my wife. I have got a lot better now! Zucchero’s inspiration for the line came from his own culinary trials…

OK, just to clarify, I wasn’t that bad that I couldn’t have cooked some pasta nor was I in the process fo getting divorced!

It’s the first of Jakki’s lines that have stuck with me now as she says at the song’s end “Senza Una Donna which means Without A Woman – bare faced liars the pair of them”. Well, I’d have to say that Paul looks pretty cool with a sharp haircut but Zucchero? I can’t unsee Keith Lemon now.

Another Jakki Brambles line that for some reason has stuck in my brain these last 30 years next as she introduces Chesney Hawkes who is at No 1 for the 4th week with “The One And Only”. After starting off her intro with “What else can we say about our next man…” and listing all his ‘achievements’ which include having “a bit of a famous Dad” – Whoah! Stop right there! A bit of a famous Dad?! Len “Chip” Hawkes was the bassist in The Tremeloes it’s true but was he really that famous? It’s also true that Decca famously chose The Tremeloes over The Beatles for a recording contract back in 1962 so the band do have a place in pop music history but Hawkes wasn’t anything to do with it as he didn’t join the band until 4 years later. And yes, he did co-write some of their Top 10 hits but would anyone have really recognised him walking down the street back in 1991? Was he doing lots of TV appearances as some sort of talking head aficionado on pop music Paul Gambaccini style? I don’t think so. I suppose Jakki did say “a bit of a famous Dad” as opposed to “celebrity royalty” but even so.

Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent there. Anyway, finally Brambles gets to her killer line as she says “All that remains for me to say is Chesney Hawkes…GET YOUR HAIRCUT!” She had a point. Chesney’s Barnet was a disgrace. He’d clearly grown it out since appearing in Buddy’s Song and it now resembled a bob. Thankfully, he no longer has said style now that he is nearly 50.

The play out video and the final of 14 songs on the show tonight is “Deep, Deep Trouble” by The Simpsons. When I was a small child, my Dad had the “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” single by Benny Hill. I thought it was funny at the time as I had an undeveloped sense of humour. My Dad thought it was funny because…I’m not sure why…I think it must have been the ridiculousness of the tale that Hill’s distinctive voice imparted. As I grew older (and so did my Dad), that record never got played again in our house because it was a novelty record and novelty records don’t age at all well. Suffice to say, “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” was a timeless classic compared to “Deep, Deep Trouble” which has rightly been consigned to the dustbin of popular culture.

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below:

Order of Appearance ArtistTitleDid I Buy It?
1JamesSit DownNo but I have it on their Best Of album
2Cher The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)Yes but it was an honest mistake!
3OMDSailing On The Seven SeasNo but I have it on their Best Of album
4Black BoxStrike It UpNope
5The ClashRock The CasbahNo but I must have it on something
6The Mock TurtlesCan You Dig It?Not the single but I bought the album (signed!)
7ZZ TopMy Head’s In MississippiNo
8Gloria EstefanSeal Our FateNegative
9Silver BulletUndercover AnarchistI did not
10Tranvision Vamp“(I Just Wanna) B with U”No but I have it on their Best Of album
11Pete Wylie / The Farm Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)I bought the original in 1986 but not this version
12Paul Young / Zucchero“Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)”No but I have it on Paul’s Best Of album
13Chesney Hawkes The One And OnlyNah
14The SimpsonsDeep, Deep TroubleHell no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000xp0k/top-of-the-pops-18041991