TOTP 07 MAY 1999

It’s early May 1999 here at TOTP Rewind and that can only mean one thing – the culmination of the football season! Despite only losing three games all season, my beloved Chelsea have blown the league by drawing too many matches and would finish third to a Man United team on their way to an historic treble. However, it was in League Division Three where all the drama was the day after this TOTP aired. Specifically, at Brunton Park, Carlisle where a near legendary game would play out. Carlisle United were fighting a dire relegation battle which, if lost, would condemn them to demotion to non-league football. It would be either them or Scarborough who would fall through the trap door. Carlisle needed a win but with time running out, the score in their game was locked at 1-1. Scarborough’s match had finished and they were safe as things stood but a Carlisle goal would reverse that situation and relegate Scarborough. With just 10 seconds left on the clock, the home team won a corner and Carlisle’s goalkeeper, one Jimmy Glass, was given the signal from his manager to go up the pitch to join in one last attack. Glass was only playing after being loaned from Swindon Town after a Carlisle goalkeeping emergency and this would be the last of three games he ever played for them. As the corner came in, this happened…

…pure, chaotic drama with a fairytale ending (for Carlisle at least). It’s the stuff of legend. However, for Glass, this wouldn’t be the fillip to his career that some might have assumed. There was no big money move to an elite club following his heroics; in fact, Carlisle United didn’t even sign him permanently and he only played a handful of professional games for a couple of clubs before drifting into non-league football and ultimately retiring from the game aged just 27. I wonder if any Glass related parallels can be drawn with the acts on this episode of TOTP?

Our host is Kate Thornton, and just as Jimmy Glass’s time at Carlisle United was coming to an end, this would be her final TOTP appearance. She only got to present ten shows which is a shame I think as she seemed a fairly safe pair of hands. Her first duty on her valedictory programme is to introduce Phats & Small on their fourth appearance on the show with “Turn Around”. There really can’t be anything else to say about this one can there? Well, it was back on TOTP as it had risen from No 8 to No 7 having already peaked at No 2. Yeah, that’s not exactly riveting reading material is it? I did notice that Phats & Small (the blokes on the decks as opposed to the singer) were wearing Skint Records T-shirts despite not being on that label – they were on Multiply, the people who brought us Sash! Skint was the home of Fatboy Slim and was based in Brighton which is where Phats & Small were from hence the connection I’m guessing? Russell Small is a big Brighton fan and they were in the same division as Carlisle United in 1998/99 finishing 17th out of 24, with only seven more points than bottom club Scarborough.

Jimmy Glass moment: You can’t get a bigger ‘turnaround’ moment than a last ditch winner to save your team from relegation can you?

It’s four consecutive appearances for Martine McCutcheon on the show but two of them were while “Perfect Moment” was at No 1 so I can’t argue with that. She was still in the Top 5 by the time of this final outing. Even so, it seems a little bit like overkill to me but then I wasn’t writing a TOTP blog back in 1999 and not watching two shows back to back as per the BBC4 schedule of repeats in 2026 so maybe I wouldn’t have noticed back then. As with Phats & Small, I’m struggling to find anything else to say about this one. Let me trawl the internet for a minute…

*blogger trawls internet*

Oh this is brilliant! No, really. Martine once went on a date with Mick Hucknall. She was very nervous, was drinking continually, hadn’t eaten anything and when she got in a car with him and the engine turned over she spewed all over him! Just fabulous work!

Jimmy Glass moment: Is there a more ‘perfect moment’ in football than Jimmy’s last minute winner?

If any of us thought that The Offspring’s chart topper “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” was destined to be a one-off, well we were right and wrong. The US pop-punk rockers never did have another UK No 1 but they came within a whisker of bagging another when follow up “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” debuted at No 2 meaning that they certainly weren’t one-hit wonders. However, avoiding that status didn’t come without criticism. Nobody with even a perfunctory knowledge of The Beatles could listen to “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” and not immediately think “Hang on, that’s “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”!”. And it was although the lyrics were very different to the Fab Four’s original, detailing two miserable sounding relationships from the point of view of both a man and a woman complaining about the laziness of their partners and their lack of any discernible income. The opening two lines include the word “bitch” which the BBC censors decided to muffle for this TOTP appearance. I don’t think they did that when Meredith Brooks was on the show but then I think the gender of the singer was pivotal there. Given the song that it was based on, “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” was always going to be a catchy tune which certainly didn’t harm its chart chances though Bryan ‘Dexter’ Holland’s strained live vocals in this performance might have adversely affected them. He really couldn’t hit those higher notes. It’s a very scratchy affair altogether.

Of course, Scottish band Marmalade beat The Offspring to it by over 30 years with an actual cover of “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”!” which went to No 1 in the UK though this little known pop song from the 80s always makes me think that Owen Paul had been listening to The Beatles’ original when he recorded it.

Jimmy Glass moment: When Jimmy’s football career ended, he needed to go and get a conventional job and worked as both an IT salesman and a taxi driver.

With another airing for “No Scrubs” by TLC, it means that three of the first four hits on this show were clocking up their fourth TOTP appearance. Come on Cowey! Sort it out! And no, I don’t care that TLC were up to No 3, their highest position in six weeks. However, the chart trajectory of this single is interesting. A debut at No 7 followed by an immediate drop out of the Top 10 to No 13. An expected descent down the Top 40 failed to materialise as “No Scrubs” lurched back into the Top 10 where it would remain for seven weeks. Even within that time period it moved up and down before finally reaching its peak of No 3 having fallen as low as No 9 the week before. How to explain this? It may be something to do with the delayed release of the its accompanying video. An MTV Award winning, sci-fi themed promo featuring the group in different coloured space suits, was its eventual delivery to video channels linked to its rise up the charts? If so, TOTP clearly didn’t get the memo/video as they stuck to showing that same satellite performance for every one of its four appearances on the show. Am I overstating the importance of this video? Maybe but there is some context to this situation, specifically that the group weren’t allowed into Europe for promotional duties possibly due to Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez’s criminal record following an incident in 1994 when she set fire to her boyfriend’s trainers which led to their mansion burning down.

One more thing, the intro to this one from Kate Thornton is a bit inappropriate. “Now going up the charts, those bad girls from Atlanta. No scrubs, no scrubbers – it’s TLC!”. No scrubbers Kate? And I thought she was a safe pair of hands!

Jimmy Glass moment: “No Scrubs” is from an album called “Fanmail” and I’m sure that Jimmy Glass got some fan mail after his last minute heroics in 1999.

Well, this is a damn shame. Of the three singles released from the sophomore album “100% Colombian” by Fun Lovin’ Criminals, the one which I bought – “Big Night Out” – is the only one that failed to warrant a TOTP appearance. Boo! Not that the two that did make it were worthless – they weren’t – but..you know. Anyway, the third of those releases was “Korean Bodega” which does sound pretty cool compared to most of its chart contemporaries but also very familiar. It’s something about that guitar riff that runs through it. I can’t place which song it reminds me of but it’s certainly recognisable.

Despite it happening in 2021, I’m not sure that I was aware that Huey Morgan had left the band. They are still an ongoing entity but it’s kind of hard to imagine them without their charismatic frontman. The band have released one album since Huey’s departure but continue to perform live.

Jimmy Glass moment: There is a track on the “100% Colombian” album called “All My Time Is Gone” which was so nearly true for Carlisle United that day in 1999 until Jimmy Glass strode forward into the box with ten seconds to go…

It’s the return of Cast next whom we had not seen in the Top 40 for 18 months. Indeed, it had been two years since their last album “Mother Nature Calls” which, though a commercial success, had divided critics. Third album “Magic Hour” therefore had a lot riding on it. The lead single from it was “Beat Mama”, a relentlessly upbeat track with a looped guitar riff and sparse, almost non-specific lyrics. Maybe the latter didn’t matter though as it was all about the feel. I liked it I have to say.

However, when I think about “Beat Mama”, its sound isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Let me explain. The week that it came out, the shop stereo in the Our Price store I was working in suddenly stopped working one morning. That’s pretty much a disaster for a record shop. As a last resort, we brought down to the shop floor the only thing we had that could play music – a tiny, portable CD player/radio that was in the stock room that staff working in there could listen to. It sounded tinny and pathetic as we opened the doors to the public. The first CD that we put on to play through it? “Beat Mama”. We couldn’t spend the whole day with this as the output for our in-store music so I decided to try and fix the shop stereo’s misfiring speakers. Quite why I thought I had the knowledge to do this I don’t know. Somehow I did get them working again though – it must have been something simple like a loose connection. However, at one point I had the speakers wired up so that two different songs were playing out of them at the same time. How did I manage that? To this day I’m wary of doing anything technical in our house beyond changing a light bulb on account of this.

Jimmy Glass moment: Cast hail from Liverpool. In May 2021, Liverpool FC’s goalkeeper Alisson scored a 95th minute winning goal versus WBA with a header prompting immediate comparisons with Jimmy Glass.

Despite this being its second time on the show, you still couldn’t actually buy “Look At Me” by Geri Halliwell in the shops as it wasn’t released until the Monday after this TOTP aired. The promotion on this one was huge but then it was always going to be. The first official solo single by an (ex-) Spice Girl was big news. After being served up the official promo video on its last outing, we get an exclusive performance of the song this time, again introduced by Geri herself. It’s all very over the top with Halliwell backed by four male dancers on a set that includes an elaborate staircase and chaise longue as props. It all seems a bit forced to me, trying a bit too hard to make it look like Geri was this kooky, zany character that we hadn’t really been aware of before. In the end, all that promotion couldn’t quite deliver the expected and presumably desperately wanted No 1 with “Look At Me” debuting in second place.

*Mel B’s “I Want You Back” had featured Missy Elliott whilst Melanie C had duetted with Bryan Adams on “When You’re Gone” before “Look At Me”.

Jimmy Glass moment: After his legendary winning goal, the whole world was looking at Jimmy.

Westlife remains at No 1 with “Swear It Again” and if that wasn’t annoying enough, for this performance, they’ve ditched the stools I said they always sat on therefore making me look like a lier! Apart from one of them, they’re all dressed in white which was another affectation of theirs but no doubt the next time they’re on, they’ll be dressed as goths just to spite me again! I swear it!

Jimmy Glass moment: Westlife had a No 1 with a cover of ABBA’s “I Have A Dream” and there was no more dream like moment in football than Jimmy Glass’s last second winner.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Phats & SmallTurn AroundI did not
2Martine McCutcheonPerfect MomentNo
3The OffspringWhy Don’t You Get A Job?Nah
4TLCNo ScrubsNope
5Fun Lovin’ CriminalsKorean BodegaNot this one but the one before it
6CastBeat MamaGood song but no
7Geri HalliwellLook At MeNo thanks
8WestlifeSwear It AgainNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002rxqk/top-of-the-pops-07051999

TOTP 05 FEB 1999

It’s early February 1999 and England football manager Glenn Hoddle has just been sacked by the Football Association for comments he made in an interview with The Times newspaper in which he suggested that people born with disabilities were paying for sins in a previous life. A BBC survey conducted during the fall out from the interview found that 90% of those asked thought Hoddle should not remain as the national team manager. Glenn defended himself by saying his words had been taken out of context and by highlighting his work for disabled charities but his fate was sealed. Some though saw it as an overreaction and that his sacking was driven by other agendas involving a lacklustre World Cup performance, poor recent results and rumours of player discontent. Kevin Keegan would be appointed as Hoddle’s successor within a fortnight though. It was big news but can I link it into this particular TOTP? Let’s find out…

Jamie Theakston is our host and we start with…no…it can’t be…not again. It is you know. Bryan Adams and Melanie C are back once more with “When You’re Gone”. Right, if I’m going to be annoyed I’m going to get my facts straight first…

*checks the TOP Of The Pops Archive website*

FIVE TIMES! Five times this has been on! I know that it had some long chart legs but seriously?! Starting the 5th February ‘99 show with a hit that was first featured on the 11th December ‘98 episode?! And no I don’t care that it had gone up from No 7 to No 5 for its highest position since debuting at No 3. And three of those appearances were repeats of the two original performances. We never even got to see the music video though having checked it out – Bry and Mel wandering around a house but constantly missing the other one because they’ve, you know, gone – that might not be a bad thing. Bry’s guy-liner look is giving me heavy JD Vance vibes and that’s terrifying frankly.

Glenn Hoddle link: “When You’re Gone”? Being sacked? That’s an easy starter for 10.

I’m really not liking this backstage area schtick especially when it’s used by Jamie Theakston to make some creepy comments about “making some new friends“ whilst leering at this week’s No 1’s backing dancers. Anyway, next up are Garbage with their single “When I Grow Up”. The fourth single from their “Version 2.0” album, it’s a much more upbeat sound than some of their other work with its “ba ba ba ba” chorus, and almost pop song like sensibilities. Having said that, its lyrics were as dark as ever – how many ‘pop’ songs contain the phrase “golden shower” for example? Incidentally, that was something the band were very proud of, sneaking said idiom into a track being played on daytime radio. According to Shirley Manson, the song is about whether adulthood brings maturity and with lines like “cut my tongue out”, “unprotected, God I’m pregnant” and “I go mental”, I think Garbage achieved their stated aim of creating a track with a dark lyrical subject matter set against a pop melody. “When I Grow Up” peaked at No 9 just as two of the previous three singles released from the album had which wasn’t quite up there with Paul Young’s “Everything Must Change” spending five consecutive weeks at No 9 but it must have been some sort of record.

Glenn Hoddle link: This is very tenuous. Shirley Manson used to be in Scottish rock band Goodbye Mr Mackenzie. Hoddle won the FA Cup in 1981 with Spurs who defeated Manchester City 3-2 in a replay. The scorer of City’s first goal in that match? Steve MacKenzie

After trying his hand at doing a segue using rhyming couplets (it’s not big nor clever Jamie), Theakston introduces “Good Life (Buena Vida)” by Inner City. Wait…what? I don’t remember this. I mean, obviously I remember Inner City and their No 4 hit “Good Life” from 1988 but this flamenco style re-recording of it? Nope, I got nothing. Having listened to it though, I think I prefer it to the original which was never my cup of tea. And I mean ‘prefer’ not ‘like’ as even this reimagining of a Detroit house hit (with added español lyrics) was never going to be my taza de Spanish Brew. Or something.

So why did this version exist? Well, it wasn’t part of some campaign to promote a Best Of album – in fact, it wasn’t linked to any type of album, studio or compilation. However, there had been a white label copy of the new version kicking around the clubs for a year and the attention it attracted finally warranted an official release and when that happened, it turned out that the person behind it was Kevin Saunderson of, yep, Inner City. So what, he was just bored and so revisited his back catalogue for something to do? Who knows but it gave Kevin and his band their first Top 10 hit since 1989. Anyway, if you can be bothered, here’s the link to what I wrote about the original version from 1988:

Glenn Hoddle link: In an interview with The Big Issue magazine, Labour politician and Spurs fan David Lammy said this:

Football was quite important to me growing up. It was the era of Spurs winning the FA Cup in ’81 with Ossie Ardiles and Glenn Hoddle. Spurs were huge and in a way, because we were growing up in the inner city and there were riots, the fact that we had such a great football team meant the world to us, it was something really positive.

Jane Graham, 17 May 2020, Big Issue #1406

Hoddle and ‘inner city’ both mentioned there. Ahem.

Another hit whose chorus goes “Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba”! Unlike Garbage’s “When I Grow Up” earlier though, “National Express” by The Divine Comedy wasn’t quite as dark lyrically though it did receive criticism in some of the music press for allegedly taking a swipe at the working classes, an allegation singer songwriter Neil Hannon denied. For him, he was literally recounting some of the sights he saw whilst travelling on a coach. However you perceived its words, “National Express” sure was catchy which might explain why it became the band’s first (and so far only) Top 10 hit. What I’ve always liked about Hannon’s lyrics is that he annunciates them so well – you can actually hear and understand what he’s giving vocal expression to which is a crucial part of the storytelling within them. Yes, some took offence at the line about the “jolly hostess” having an arse the “size of a small country” (including my wife) but at least you were engaged by the words however you perceived and received them. Later in 1999, a Greatest Hits album called “A Secret History… The Best of the Divine Comedy” would take them into the Top 3 and provide a gold disc to boot. It would also give us one of the most preposterous and yet glorious song titles of all time in “The Pop Singer’s Fear of the Pollen Count”. Ah you’ve got to love The Divine Comedy!

Glenn Hoddle link: A born-again Christian since 1986, Hoddle famously employed faith healer Eileen Drewery whilst England manager for which he was lampooned in the press. A divine comedy you might say.

Who??!! Leilani?! Wasn’t she a glamour model? Well, yes and no. There is a former glamour model called Leilani Dowding who is actually engaged to Billy Duffy, guitarist for The Cult but she isn’t this Leilani. No, this Leilani is Leilani Sen, a singer signed to ZTT from 1998 to 2000 and whom had a small hit with “Madness Thing” during that time. And what a slight, little thing it was. An inconsequential ditty about…what? Boyfriends who are too tall, boobies that are too small and eating Curly Wurlys according to the lyrics. No, really; that’s what she sings. I can’t believe she was on the same record label as Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Art Of Noise and Propaganda. Anyway, she didn’t last long – just one more No 40 hit and an unreleased album. However, she returned in 2023 as a contestant on reality series Survivor and with a single (presumably released off the back of her appearance on it) called “Wicked Knickers”. Hmm. Bizarrely, another similar looking female pop star flogging similarly cheesy pop songs would appear later in 1999 – it was as if Leilani was a prototype Lolly. As far as I can recall, Lolly never had a fleet of ironing boards on stage with her though. A thing of madness indeed.

Glenn Hoddle link: Hoddle probably did hate the madness of it all when it came to that interview in The Times.

A slushy R&B ballad next from Dru Hill who, let’s be honest, I know very little about and have even less interest in. I can’t help it – I grew up as a pop kid. For what it’s worth, they sound to me like they know what they were about with “These Are The Times” featuring some on point harmonies that Boyz II Men would willingly take to the end of the road. Why does Sisqó have a big, silver dragon motif on his microphone when none of the other members of the group do? Well, later in 1999, he would leave Dru Hill to pursue a solo career and his debut album was called “Unleash The Dragon” so maybe it was a clue as to what was going to happen? Maybe not actually as the whole group were influenced by the Dragon and Asian culture, as displayed in their band logo. Perhaps he was just a big show off then.

Glenn Hoddle link: Yes, it was The Times that did for poor old Glenn

Last week’s No 1 has dropped to No 2 but here’s that same performance repeated again as we get The Offspring and “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”. The dolls’ heads being used as percussion instruments as referenced by Jamie Theakston was surely inspired by the cover of the album “Yesterday And Today” by The Beatles. Only released in America and Canada, it was an amalgam of the “Help!” and “Rubber Soul” albums but its original cover, nicknamed the “butcher cover”, depicted the band wearing white butcher smocks and covered with decapitated baby dolls and pieces of raw meat. The image caused so much controversy that it was immediately withdrawn by Capitol and replaced by John, Paul, George and Ringo gathered around a steamer trunk. Thirty years later, I’m pretty sure The Offspring’s TOTP stunt didn’t cause as much outrage despite Theakston’s talk of complaints in his intro. Maybe we’d got used to such imagery with the release of the original Toy Story film and the behaviour of Sid Phillips towards his toys…

Glenn Hoddle link: Glenn was a stylish, flair player – in fact he was pretty fly…for a white guy.

It’s a sixth different No 1 in six weeks (and that run will carry in for a while yet) as Armand van Helden is straight in at the top with “You Don’t Know Me”. Now, this guy had already been on a No 1 record but he didn’t really get the credit for it. What am I talking about? Well, he did the remix of Tori Amos’ “Professional Widow” which topped the charts in 1997 as “Professional Widow (It’s Got to Be Big)” but Tori’s management only authorised the release if she was given sole credit (even though she had nothing to do with that version). Armand finally got his official solo hit two years later which kind of seems like a case of fairs’s fair.

The guy up there doing the singing (singing on a dance anthem?!) is one Duane Harden who was allowed to go off and write the lyrics alone by van Helden while he got in with the business of putting together the samples to form a looping track which Harden’s vocals would be laid over. The result was a piece of New York house that had that all important crossover appeal. Armand would go to No 1 again 10 years later alongside Dizzee Rascal on “Bonkers”.

Glenn Hoddle link: There’s nothing except…they’ve both been on TOTP! Glenn Hoddle on TOTP? You better believe it…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Bryan Adams / Melanie CWhen You’re GoneNegative
2GarbageWhen I Grow UpNo but it’s pretty good
3Inner CityGood Life (Buena Vida)Nah
4The Divine ComedyNational ExpressNo but I had that Best Of album
5LeilaniMadness ThingNope
6Dru HillThese Are The TimesNot really my thing
7The OffspringPretty Fly (For A White Guy)No
8Armand van HeldenYou Don’t Know MeI did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

TOTP 29 JAN 1999

We’re nearly through January in these 1999 TOTP repeats and the charts, with a couple of notable exceptions, have been cleansed of all those Christmas hits as those record company new release schedules kick in. For example, four of this week’s Top 5 are new entries and we’ll see three of them on this show. There no sign of any new presenters though as stalwart Jayne Middlemiss is on hosting duties again for this one. A bit of admin before we get into it. That woman stood next to Jayne with a sign saying ‘Now can I have a pay rise?’ – what was that all about? Here’s the marvellous TOTP Archive website (https://totparchive.co.uk) with the answer:

“At the beginning of the episode, Zoe Alpass, a broadcast assistant on the Radio 1 Zoe Ball breakfast show, stands next to Jayne Middlemiss holding a placard that says “Now can I have a pay rise?” Previously on Radio 1, there had been banter about her wanting a pay rise, and they challenged her to appear on TV to get one”

With that sorted, let’s get into it. We start with the No 2 song and the biggest hit of Terrorvision’s career. Said career was a model of consistency. Over a five year period up to this point, they’d had eleven Top 40 UK hit singles but only two of them made the Top 10 with eight of the other nine peaking between Nos 29 and 20. When it came to albums though, only one of their four released so far had made the Top 10 and indeed, their latest “Shaving Peaches” peaked at a lowly No 34. Their failure to command bigger commercial achievements had led to talk at record company EMI about dropping them…and then came “Tequila”. Sort of. The track that crashed into the charts at No 2 wasn’t the version on the album but a remix by Mint Royale which had been championed by Zoe Ball who had a big public profile as Radio 1’s Breakfast Show DJ and partner of Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim who himself had just had a No 1 record with “Praise You”. Radically different from the version on the album, the single release had added children’s voices and a whistles and bells feel to it which lifted it from an average rock track into a huge party anthem. This was the aforementioned Fatboy Slim effect on Cornershop’s “Brimful Of Asha” part II. Naturally, the remixed version of the single caused consternation amongst the band’s loyal fanbase* but found a whole new mainstream audience.

*A poll on which track to release from the album distributed to fan club members had resulted in a different song being voted as the favourite.

According to singer Tony Wright, its release was delayed by a week presumably so not to clash with fellow EMI act 911’s own tilt at the No 1 spot although Wright seems to misremember it as being Geri Halliwell whom they were up against. Whatever the truth, in the end, “Tequila” would come up one place short of topping the charts themselves. As the original pressing of “Shaving Peaches” didn’t feature the Mint Royale remix (later reissues did include it), this caused the usual awkward conversations between record store staff and disappointed punters who’d bought it on the strength of the single that wasn’t on it. Despite the success of “Tequila”, the band were indeed dropped by EMI shortly after follow-up single “Ill Wishes” failed to make the Top 40 and they split in 2001 although they reformed in 2007 releasing their most recent album in 2024.

As part of her outro to Terrorvision, Jayne Middlemiss is waving a bottle of tequila about. That strikes me as a tad reckless. Granted she refers to it as a “nasty, intoxicating little substance” but still. Before the watershed! It gets you drunk from the legs up Jayne! Now, for one of those notable exceptions I referred to earlier. This was the fourth time on the show for Steps and their version of “Tragedy” with the first having been aired over two months before! That’s how long the single had been knocking around the charts including one week at the very top. It was still in the Top 3 this week so I’m guessing that’s why it’s on again as executive producer Chris Cowey continued his policy of showing hits that were still selling lots of copies as opposed to those that were moving up the charts.

According to the official charts website, “Tragedy/Heartbeat” is the group’s biggest selling hit ever with combined sales of 1.4 million units. That makes sense given it was a No 1 record and spent 15 weeks inside the Top 10. However, their other No 1 single “Stomp” is only their 11th best selling single. This anomaly is further compounded by the fact that the second best selling hit for Steps is “5,6,7,8” which never got any higher than No 14 in the charts. How do you explain that?

Now this is a real rarity. I cannot think when this has happened before on the show. Last week The All Seeing I performed “Walk Like A Panther” with Tony Christie on vocals. Seven days later and they are back minus Tony (who’s gone back to Amarillo according to Jayne Middlemiss – chortle) and in his place is the guy who co-wrote the song Jarvis Cocker! A hit sung by two different people in consecutive weeks? Was that unique? Whether it was or not, it gave us the chance to compare the two versions and work out which one we liked better. So who did you prefer, Jarvis or Tony? I think I’m leaning towards the latter but then we don’t actually get the full Cocker effect as it sounds to me as if Christie’s vocals are played during the chorus in this performance. What was that about? Couldn’t Jarvis reach those notes? It memoirs me of when Tracey Ullman couldn’t do the “Bay-bee!” line in “They Don’t Know” an they had to use Kirsty MacColl’s original recording. All very odd.

Back to the Top 5 now and another new entry for someone called TQ. Jayne Middlemiss ponders whether those initials stand for “Top Quality” or maybe “Two Quid” but it was actually TerranceQuaites, an R&B singer, songwriter and producer who, for a little while at the end of the 90s and start of the millennium had a string of hits starting with “Westside”. Now, this is far from my field of expertise but I can’t work this track out. Jayne says it’s a “smooth, soulful sound” and “gangster rap”. So which one is it? Can it be both? Maybe it can as sonically it’s definitely smooth and soulful but its words do warrant a ‘parental advisory explicit lyrics’ sticker. There’s a lot of editing and silent spaces in this performance to blank out the ‘n’ and ‘f’ words and the like. It’s all very confusing for a pop kid like me.

As for the title of the track, obviously it is culturally associated with rap artists and the East Coast-West Coast rivalry and indeed, the lyrics reference Ice Cube, Ice-T and Eazy-E and is dedicated to Tupac Shakur but did any of that mean anything to the white, middle class kids buying it to try and rebel against their parents. We used to get loads of them in the Our Price store in Altrincham where I was working, flipping through our rap section, doing the ‘pimp limp’ walk with as much swagger as they could muster and saying things like “Oh man, that’s bad!”. Just tedious. I’m betting they thought “Westside” was originated by this guy…

Whose idea was this?! Well, Chris Cowey’s I’m guessing. Sebadoh though?! A lo-fi indie rock band who’d never had a hit record before but had somehow sneaked into the Top 40 for one week never to return and they deserved a slot in the TOTP running order? Really?! Yes, “Flame” was this lot’s only chart hit and you can hear why – what a racket. This was never going to motor up the charts even with the exposure of this appearance – surely it was just a week one, fanbase thing? OK, so you could make a case that, by giving the viewers at home a glimpse of something out of left field, Cowey was providing an antidote to the wall to wall coverage of acts like Steps, Boyzone and the like which I, to be fair, have been decrying. However, I refer you to my previous question – Sebadoh though? Cowey could have had…

*checks chart for that week

…Duran Duran! In at No 23 with “Electric Barbarella”! Hmm. The video for it was a bit dodgy though so unless the band were available to be in the studio…

…Whatever! I, personally, could live without this particular distraction and having to watch a lead singer who was desperately trying to recreate looking like John Lennon when The Beatles played that famous, impromptu gig on the roof of the Apple Corps headquarters at Saville Row. Get back indeed.

Despite dropping five places to No 6, last week’s No 1 is back on the show. Now, “A Little Bit More” might seem like a sweet ballad and therefore a perfect choice for 911 to cover (I said as much in a previous post) but listening to the lyrics, I’m not so sure it is. Look at some of these lines:

“When your body’s had enough of me
And I’m layin’ flat out on the floor
When you think I’ve loved you all I can
I’m gonna love you a little bit more”

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bobby Gosh
A Little Bit More lyrics © Bygosh Music Corp.

Erm…could that not be perceived to be about the carnal act? Then there phrases like “I’ve got to be touchin’ you” and “turns me on” and “we better get it on now” – this is double entendre territory at least. To think that my Mum and Dad had the Dr Hook album with this on! Eeeewww!

This next performance couldn’t be any more current. The debut single by a fresh, new artist that the whole world was excited about if you believed what was being written about them and there were plenty of column inches. There have been a few bands down the years where the hype about them before they’d even released anything has been huge. Sadly, in nearly all of those cases, the hype has been mere hyperbole. Back in 1985, the Roaring Boys were meant to be the new aforementioned Duran Duran but it turned out that we didn’t even want the existing DD and so they sank without trace. A year later, the future of rock ‘n’ roll had arrived to save us in the form Sigue Sigue Sputnik but their publicity machine was infinitely better than their music. A decade on from them, Menswear created a buzz about themselves with their limited copies policy of their first releases and narrative as the poster boys of Britpop. They burnt brightly but briefly.

And then, as the end of the decade neared, came Gay Dad. So what was so special about them? Well, there was their headline making name but more than that, lead singer Cliff Jones was a former journalist for Mojo, The Face and Melody Maker so there was a whole narrative developed about how he’d gone from writing about pop stars to being one (though Neil Tennant had beaten him to that story by about 15 years). The there was the fact that due to an early test pressing of their track“To Earth With Love” getting into the hands of Radio 1’s Mark Radcliffe and getting airplay, a whole subplot about them being the saviours of rock ‘n’ roll without even having a record out evolved. Their label London had to rush release the single leading to even more clamour for the band. Predictably, when it finally came out, it wasn’t very good. It sounded like they were trying too hard to manufacture a composite of every successful rock/pop song of the last few years into one track. The pretentious performance here with Jones taking himself oh so seriously only upped the pomposity levels and what was with the matching Walker Brothers/Birdlamd haircuts?

Its peak of No 10 was a success on a superficial level but its quick descent down the charts (Nos 28 and 39 in the following two weeks) also suggested Gay Dad might be a short lived fad. Conversely, follow up single “Joy” was a much better song. Why hadn’t they opened their account with that instead? Debut album “Leisure Noise” was hardly a runaway success peaking at No 14 and sophomore effort “Transmission” couldn’t reverse their fortunes, not being helped by lead single “Now Always And Forever” peaking at that most unfortunate of chart positions No 41. Gay Dad would ultimately linger on until 2002 when they split.

We have a new No 1, the fifth in as many weeks and we’re not even out of January yet. This time around it’s from an unexpected source – The Offspring with “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”. Having only ever had two UK chart entries previously (neither which made the Top 30), here were the Californian pop-punk rockers going straight in at the top! I have to say that I didn’t know much about them before this moment despite:

a) the band having released their first album in 1989

b) my having worked in record shops since 1990

I knew the ‘skeleton’ cover of their 1994 album “Smash” but that was about it. “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” was very much of that 90s pop-punk rock sound that would make stars of the likes of Green Day, Blink-182 and Sum 41 but it was actually the aforementioned “Smash” album which broke The Offspring and precipitated a move to major label Columbia. Their first release for them “Ixnay On The Hombre” underperformed commercially but their fifth album “Americana” would sell 10 million copies worldwide and go platinum here in the UK. Did the band’s existing fanbase appreciate their new found commerciality? Maybe not but hey, deal with it.

I mentioned earlier when discussing TQ those white, middle class kids buying rap music to rebel against their parents and guess what? That’s exactly what “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” is about! No really. Here’s @TOTPFacts to confirm:

OK, their American counterparts but for Omaha read Altrincham. The Offspring are still together albeit with a few line up changes but front man Dexter Holland is still in the ranks and holds a PhD in molecular biology. Pretty dry for a punk guy.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1TerrorvisionTequilaNo thanks
2StepsTragedyNegative
3The All Seeing IWalk Like A PantherIt’s a no from me
4TQWestsideNope
5SebadohFlameNever
6911A Little Bit MoreNo
7Gay DadTo Earth With LoveNah
8The OffspringPretty Fly (For A White Guy)I did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree