TOTP 04 APR 1997

As widely predicted and discussed within the TOTP online community, BBC4’s repeats for 1997 are facing more disruption than the London Underground during a tube strike due to the various misdemeanours of some of the artists who had big hits this year. The first of these came at the end of March when the show that aired on the 28th of that month featured the video for R Kelly’s hit “I Believe I Can Fly”. The R&B singer is currently serving a 31 year sentence for racketeering and child pornography. Having checked the running order for that episode, my opinion is that we didn’t miss much with only the Pet Shop Boys and The Beautiful South being of potential interest to this blogger.

We’ll be jumping around for a while though as “I Believe I Can Fly” went to No 1 for three weeks and later in the year we have Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Sean Combs who spent six weeks on top of the UK charts with “I’ll Be Missing You” and who is currently facing charges of racketeering and sex trafficking. I’m assuming all shows that feature either R Kelly or Puff Daddy will be pulled and not re shown. For this episode though we are on safe ground with a load of dance tunes and those nice Spice Girls featuring. Our hosts are the irreverent pair Mark and Lard who had recently taken over the reigns of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show following the departure of Chris Evans.

We’re straight in – literally straight in as there’s no to camera piece from a featured artist nor even a presenter intro in these strange, new times – with the latest hit from Cast called “Free Me”. The lead single from sophomore album “Mother Nature Calls”, it was more of that so called ‘Britpop’ sound that had seen them become chart stars over the previous 18 months though possibly a bit more of an earthy sound and not quite as melodic. It was a decent tune – definitely not ‘filler’ but by no means ‘killer’ either. When reviewing their last hit, the standalone single “Flying”, I criticised the track’s lyrics for being basic and superficial. I have to say that this was also the case with “Free Me”. So simple are they that if they were a boy in a nursery rhyme, they’d definitely be called Simon. I mean, look at these:

Give me some time to be me, give me the space that I need

Give me a reason to be, give me some time to be

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Russell Glyn Ballard
Free Me lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

What? I wouldn’t have submitted that as an 11 year old if I’d been asked to write some poetry in an English lesson. Come on John Power – you were better than that! By the way, I’m not sure about your hat either. Must do better.

After Mark and Lard have reinforced their northern roots by insisting that you pronounce Cast as “Cast” and not “Carst” (they’re right of course), they introduce 3T who, unbelievably, were still having hits two years after their first. Happily, “Gotta Be You” would be the fifth and final time they would feature in the UK charts. Their discography informs me that this one featured a Herbie Critchlow who Wikipedia informs me is a producer and songwriter who has penned songs for the likes of Backstreet Boys, Rita Ora and…erm…Andy Abrahams. Is he the guy that comes on in the middle of this performance and raps something truly dodgy about zombie nymphomaniacs or something? Anyway, even he gets bored of the whole thing and exits stage left before the end of the song and he co-wrote the bloody thing! To paraphrase Morrissey when reviewing a Modern Romance single in Smash Hits, “there may well very well be a worse group than 3T but can anybody really think of one?”.

Next we have…what the actual f**k?! No Doubt?! AGAIN?! After venting my spleen in the last post that “Don’t Speak” had been shown in the 21 March show despite no longer being at No 1 and dropping down the charts, here they are once more. To quote from the extraordinary film Blazing Saddles, “What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin’ on here?” OK, the single had gone back up from No 4 to No 3 so in theory it was a chart climber, but this was the sixth time it had been on the show already and only three of those had been as the No 1 record. Sixth you say? YES! SIX! I’ve done my research and it was even on the 28 March show that we didn’t get to see meaning it was in three consecutive weeks after falling from the top of the charts. And it doesn’t even stop there as it was also on the 18 April show (which we similarly won’t get to see) meaning it was given a slot on the running order more often than when it was the actual No 1! This was just ludicrous! Who was the director during these shows?

*Checks internet*

It was that John L Spencer character again! Well, all I can say is never mind The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, this was The John L Spencer Bullshit Explosion!

When Mark and Lard looked at which acts would be featured in the show they would be presenting, what do you reckon they thought? I’m betting that when their fingers descended the list and alighted on NTrance their reaction wasn’t “Brilliant! We’ve got N-Trance on the show and even better than that, they’re doing a cover of that old Ottawan hit!”. The descent of the people who gave us the dance floor classic “Set You Free” into a naff 70s tribute act was indeed a bizarre career move. It all seems to be down to the recruitment of rapper Ricardo da Force to their ranks who had previously featured on those huge hits by The KLF in the early 90s. He was at the forefront of N-Trance’s reworking of the Bee Gees classic “Stayin’ Alive” which had stunk the charts out in the Autumn of 1995 when it did a hit No 2.

Throwing out credibility for commercial success, they repeated the trick with “D.I.S.C.O.”. The original was gruesome enough but the 1997 version was just vulgar and the performance here, complete with 70s disco wigs and outfits (obviously) turned up the tacky-o-meter to 11. In case you’re not convinced by my argument, then here’s all the proof you need – it was covered by the King of Cheese himself Chico. It’s Chico time!….

What? There’s a counter argument? Which is?

*The guy who wrote and produced “D.I.S.C.O.” – Daniel Vangarde – is the father of Thomas Bangalter, one half of achingly hip dance outfit Daft Punk*

Daft Punk? Seriously? No, I don’t care. N-Trance can, to quote Norman Stanley Fletcher from Porridge, “Naff off!”.

Ah this is better – “North Country Boy” by The Charlatans. I recall that a record company rep turned up at the Our Price shop where I worked a couple of weeks before this all excited and carrying a pre-release copy of this single saying how it was really special and the best thing the band had ever done. Was he right? Well, music taste is totally subjective but he might have been in with a shout with that claim though it’s not my own personal favourite (which I think is “Just Lookin’”, today anyway). It’s probably one of their best known songs though, peaking at No 4 and coming from the album “Tellin’ Stories” which ushered in a period of great chart success for the band. The album itself went to No 1 while furnishing the band with four hit singles that achieved the following peaks:

3 – 4 – 6 – 16

I’m pretty sure that Mark and Lard liked this one – they even did their own version of it (sort of) under the guise of their alter ego spoof band project The Shirehorses. This is The Charley Twins…

This show really is dance heavy. After N-Trance earlier, we now get three more tracks from that (admittedly wide-ranging) genre back to back starting with DJ Quicksilver and “Bellissima”. Anybody whose stage name includes the letters ‘DJ’ in it immediately raises red flags for me and my pop sensibilities and in the case of Mr Quicksilver, I wasn’t wrong. His real name is Orhan Terzi which sounds like he’s Hull City’s latest Turkish midfield signing and I wish he had pursued a career in football rather than dance music. I can only assume that my brain can’t be wired the same way as the dance-heads that bought this single (it sold 600,000 copies- 600,000!) as I can hear nothing in the track that would have compelled me to shell out good money to buy it. It’s just the same beats all the way through with some strings sounds laid over the top of it. Repetitive, monotonous and moronic. I guess if you were tripping off your tits in a club it might make more sense but how could you listen to it in the privacy of your own home? The ballerina type dancer was a novel way to visually stage the track I guess but then she’s usurped by the usual women in PVC trousers and one in suspenders no less. Quicksilver himself gets a brief close up when he gurns down the camera lens and gives a thumbs up. Prat! It’s a massive thumbs down from me.

The second dance act on the show is that rare beast that had achieved a No 1 single. Back in 1995, LivinJoy rather surprisingly topped the charts with a rerelease of their No 18 hit “Dreamer” from the year before. They’d followed that up with two further Top Tenners but ultimately they would submit to the trend of diminishing returns.

This fourth single “Where Can I Find Love” would peak outside the Top 10 at No 12 and final chart entry “Deep In You” even lower at No 17. This one sounds a little too frantic for me, too much going on in the mix but who cares about that? What was going on with singer Tameko Star’s hat?! It’s enormous – I haven’t seen one that big since this fella was on our TV screens…

Did I say that dance acts having a No 1 hit were a rare beast? I was clearly talking out of my arse as here’s The Chemical Brothers with their second consecutive chart topper “Block Rockin’ Beats”. I think this might just have taken me by surprise at the time as it’s possible that I dismissed previous No 1 “Setting Sun” as having had an Oasis flavoured boost via the vocal contributions of Noel Gallagher. However, I must have underestimated the appeal of the Manchester duo as here they were again as the kings of the Top 40. Or had I? There was a lot of discussion at the time about how quickly the sales of “Block Rockin’ Beats” fell away in its second week of release as it slipped to No 8 just seven days after topping the charts. At the time, it was the ninth biggest fall from the pinnacle since charts were compiled. Was this down to the nature of it being a dance track with a lack of crossover appeal (say compared to something like “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt) or was it just more evidence of how the charts were being manipulated by record companies and their first week price discounting strategies.? Or perhaps a bit of both? I mean, they weren’t alone – both Blur and U2 had experienced similar chart slippage with their last two singles (though not quite as big as The Chemical Brothers). Did I just say ‘lack of crossover appeal’? Yet again, I seem to be spouting nonsense as when parent album “Dig Your Own Hole” came out a few weeks later, it went to No 1 and chalked up platinum sales. What was it Frank Zappa said? Writing about music is like dancing about architecture?

For the record, I quite enjoyed “Block Rockin’ Beats” and in a completely contrary stance to what I’d just said about Livin’ Joy, I liked that it sounded chaotic and all over the place. Musical opinion eh? Whatcha gonna do? The video features Perry Fenwick a year before he made his EastEnders debut as Billy Mitchell. I met his ex-partner and fellow actor Angie Lonsdale once when she was sharing a house with my mate Robin when he lived in London. She was nice. Yeah, it’s not a great story is it?

The play out video is “Mama” by the Spice Girls despite the fact that they have slipped from No 1 to the runners up spot this week. Yes, following in the footsteps of No Doubt and the nonsensical decision of temporary TOTP director John L. Spencer to show songs going down the charts, we get this one again. There were surely other hits in the Top 40 that could have been shown instead?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1CastFree MeNah
23TGotta Be YouNo
3No DoubtDon’t SpeakNope
4N-TranceD.I.S.C.O.F.*.*.K. O.F.F.
5The CharlatansNorth Country BoyNo but I had the Melting Pot Best Of with it on
6DJ QuicksilverBellissimaNever
7Livin’ JoyWhere Can I Find LoveI did not
8The Chemical BrothersBlock Rockin’ BeatsLiked it, didn’t buy it
9Mama / Who Do You Think You AreSpice GirlsAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0027pnq/top-of-the-pops-04041997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 23 AUG 1996

According to my 1996 diary, around this time I received a reward cheque for £50. What for? Well, back in the day, if a retail worker took a customer’s credit card out of circulation at the request of the card issuer, they would send you a cheque for that amount as a thank you. The way it would work is that the customer with the overspent card would try and buy something on it and when it was put through the PDQ machine, the display would show the message ‘contacting card issuer’ and you’d have to pick up the phone that was part of the machine and talk to the customer’s bank. They’d ask a couple of questions about the transaction and possibly ask to speak to them in person as well. The chances were that ultimately you would get asked to retain the card and cut it up in front of them before sending it back to the bank. The experience was both exciting (at the thought of the £50 reward) and unnerving (as to how the customer would react) at the same time. Mostly they would be sheepish and let you do what you had to do but not always. One in particular I remember went ballistic whilst talking to the bank shouting at the top of his voice “Don’t you know who I am?! I’m a knight of the f*****g realm!”. I don’t know what the person on the other end of the line said but it must have been withering as the customer gave me the phone back, said sorry and sloped off. Anyway, eventually the company I was working for (Our Price) changed their policy so that the reward cheques didn’t go to the individual but the shop (supposedly into a fund for a Xmas do or some such) but this reward must have predated that as it came directly to me. So, in honour of that and in view of the recent furore over concert ticket prices, I thought I’d play a game of £50 quid or gig with the artists on this episode of TOTP. Would I rather have pocketed the money or paid to see the artist live?*

*For the purposes of the game, I’m assuming gig prices from 1996 not nowadays.

We start with an easy one – there is no way on earth I would have preferred to see Ant & Dec doing their thing (whatever it was) live over 50 quid in my pocket. Did they even do proper gigs on an official tour? They might have supported Take That back in the day or maybe that was just a plot line in an episode of Derry Girls? This was their first single to be released under the moniker we all now know (i.e. their real names) as opposed to that of the fictional characters from Byker Grove PJ & Duncan. Quite why they persisted with calling themselves that long after they had ceased to appear in the show I’m not sure. It seems a like an oversight. The track itself – “Better Watch Out” – is an absolute stinker! Some cobblers about Ant (who gets to sing the verses) being beaten up by the brothers of a girl he’s trying it on with. The lyrics suggest he might be deserving of said punishment as he then pursues the girl’s sister before indicating he might set his sights on their mother. What a cad! It’s a nasty sentiment matched by a terrible song – I can imagine it being used to soundtrack some chase scene in 70s children’s show Here Come The Double Deckers!

£50 or gig? Cash every time

Ah, now this one is tricky because I have actually seen the artist live previously. Don’t take the piss! I know we’re talking about Bryan Adams here but this was years ago, years before this TOTP performance even. Back in 1987, whilst a student at Sunderland Poly, myself and a friend who was also a housemate, took ourselves off to the big smoke of Newcastle and caught Bryan live at the City Hall where he was supported by T’Pau (I mean it! Stop sniggering!). It was a top gig, it really was! He was promoting his “Into The Fire” album that had failed to shift many units in the UK but which I’d liked anyway. This was years before that Robin Hood song and his slow decline into a world of ever more dreary ballads and he rocked the joint. Fast forward nine years and guess what? He’s just released a dreary ballad! “Let’s Make A Night To Remember” was the second single from his “18 Til I Die” album and was a massive disappointment after its lead single, the fun-filled “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” which I had enjoyed. It’s so one paced and trudges along with Bry singing some lines that sound like he’d pinched them directly from the Ladybird Book of Hackneyed Lyrics. In short it was a duffer though somehow got him all the way to No 10 in our charts.

£50 or gig? If the gig was that one from 1987, I’d definitely go back in time to relive it. A 2024 concert? I’ll take the Benjamins thanks.

Another difficult one as I have seen Pet Shop Boys live and not that long ago; as recently as May 2022 in fact. It was a COVID delayed concert that should have taken place in 2020 and it was bloody marvellous! A date on the DreamworldThe Greatest Hits Live tour, it did exactly what it said on the tin meaning that yes, they did play this track “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)”. The setlist.fm website tells me it was the ninth song of the night as part of a mini medley with “Single Bilingual”.

The second single released from the “Bilingual” album, it’s a joyously upbeat track which was well received by the music press and given a lot of radio support – it’s Summer release date (presumably planned to exploit its seasonal sound) certainly aided its playlist potential. The promo video being shot at a water theme park in Florida almost certainly had one eye on that Summer vibe as well though I can’t help thinking it would have been better if it was in colour and the single itself should possibly have been released earlier in the season.

Linguistically, the title isn’t quite correct. The English translation from the Portuguese of “Se a vida é” is “If life is…” and not “That’s the way life is…” which would be “A vida é assim”. Ah, you say tom-ay-to, I say tom-a-to. The single peaked at No 8 (it perhaps should have been higher) – they would never have a higher placing single throughout the 90s up until this day.

£50 or gig? I’m going gig every time on this one. It’s a sin not to.

This one’s going to be an easy decision as well. After the breakthrough of their first UK hit single earlier in 1996 with “Get Down (You’re The One For Me)”, the Backstreet Boys staked their claim as the next big teen sensation with follow up “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” which would debut at No 3. What a load of old toss this was. Recycling that horrible ‘ner ner ner na ner ner ner ner ner’ hook used previously by the likes of Montell Jordan and MN8 (and which Peter Andre would also adopt in a TOTP repeat coming very soon), this also made no sense grammatically. “We’ve got it goin’ on for years” the band sing but surely that should be “we’ve had it goin’ on for years”. Even if they’d got the grammar spot on it still wouldn’t have made sense as their first release came in 1995 so one year before this. That’s ‘year’ – singular. Maybe they were projecting into the future and meant “We’ll have it goin’ on for years” which would have been statistically accurate as, sadly, they continued to have hits for the rest of the 90s and into the new millennium. Clearly temporal clauses were not what they had going on.

This lot really were just New Kids On The Block revisited. An all male American group with five members making music for the female teenage market. They even had the same type of characters in the band. There’s the cute, young looking one, the taller, older one with facial hair, the street wise one etc etc. In the case of the last type, Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell literally looks like his NKOTB counterpart Donnie Wahlberg. He’s also responsible for some horrible wailing when he goes all Mariah Carey early on in the song where he over annunciates the word “go” as “go-ooh-aoow”. Deeply unnecessary and unpleasant. Horribly, we’ll be seeing lots more of these berks in future repeats.

£50 or gig? Show me the money!

After Bryan Adams earlier, we now have another dreary ballad although this one is also nonsensical. I criticised the lyrics to “Why?” by 3T and Michael Jackson the other week as being hopeless for lines like this:

Why does Monday come before Tuesday? Why do Summers start in June?

“Why Lyrics.” Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Oct. 2024.

A reader of the blog got in touch to point out that not only were the song words abysmal but also inaccurate as only half the planet has its summers start in June – the Southern Hemisphere has its summers start in December. Thank you to Essor for pointing that out.

Watching the video for this one (another one all in black and white just like the Pet Shop Boys earlier – it must have been a thing back then), I noticed that the guy from 3T with his rucksack has bought it back for the promo and he walks along a corridor with it dangling by his side. What was the point of this accessory? Did he gave a product placement deal with a rucksack manufacturer in place? Or was it just his trademark gimmick like Shades and his sunglasses in the film That Thing You Do! ?

£50 or gig? Despite a Michael Jackson concert being quite the event, I’d still take the cash especially if the support were 3T.

This is the third time in the show for OMC and “How Bizarre” and they’ll manage another brief appearance as the play out song before they’re done. It’s not surprising given how long the record spent on our charts (fourteen weeks on the Top 40 of which six were inside the Top 10). This week it was at its peak of No 5 but would spend a further three consecutive weeks holding at No 8.

As host Beerjte Van Beers says, OMC stood for Otara Millionaires Club however if you google OMC the top result is not the “How Bizarre” hitmakers but a fishing tackle and outdoor products manufacturer called One More Cast. They have a range called Terminal Tackle which includes such items as ‘Tweakers Touch Me Up’, ‘Revibed Blood Worm Tippers’ and ‘Vitabitz Ring Swivels Size 11’ which all sound like double entendres to my uneducated angling brain. As for seeing them live, surely it would descend into the sketch from The Big Train below:

£50 or gig? Cash please!

My interest in REM had started to wane by the mid 90s to the point that I had very little anticipation for the new single from their tenth studio album “New Adventures In Hi-Fi” called “E-Bow The Letter” (with Patti Smith no less on backing vocals). In fact, it just about passed me by but then that was possibly a lot of people’s experience as their first new song for a couple of years was not radio friendly. In fact, it was almost anti-playlist. That doesn’t make it a poor song though of course but by the band’s own admission, it wasn’t an obvious nor easy choice of lead single which their record company struggled with just as they had with “Drive” being the first track released from “Automatic For The People”. In fact, “E-Bow The Letter” actually sounds quite similar to “Drive” so there’s sonic as well as thematic similarities. On first listen, it does seem to be a bit all over the place and, whisper it, miserable. However, there’s beauty in misery and the overall effect is…well…quite affecting. The ‘E-Bow’ of the title is a device to induce sustained vibration in an electric guitar string whilst the ‘letter’ refers to a communication never sent by Stipe to his friend River Phoenix who had died of a drug overdose at the Viper Club in Los Angeles three years earlier whilst the band inside played a song called “Michael Stipe”. The track would become the band’s then highest charting single when it debuted at No 4 and its parent album would get to No 1 but a decline in sales for the band was clearly happening as the latter sold significantly less than either “Monster” or “Automatic For The People”.

£50 or gig? Now supposedly I passed up the chance to see REM live in 1988 on their tour in support of the “Green” album. What my enthralling other option was I could not tell you but I regret it, especially now the band have broken up so I’m going ‘gig’ on this one.

Next a song that was the first ever to achieve over one million airplays in America and yet it hardly ever seems to get played in this country… or so I thought until I heard it all the time on Magic Radio* recently. Donna Lewis is a classic one hit wonder – almost. A huge, enormous hit then nothing ever again. “I Love You Always Forever” would spend nine weeks (!) at No 2 in America behind Los Del Rio’s “Macarena” and go to No 5 here in the UK as part of a five week stay inside the Top 10.

*Yes, I know – Magic Radio – but in this scary world I sometimes need to hear something soothing.

That US success led me to believe that Donna was American but she’s actually Welsh, hailing from Cardiff with the success of her hit bringing her a BRIT award nomination in 1997 for Best British Female Artist. More success seemed inevitable but her album, though selling a million copies in the US, performed averagely everywhere else including over here where it peaked at No 52. She would have one more UK chart entry (denying her that classic one hit wonder status) with follow up single “Without Love” spending a week at No 39. She did perform a duet with Richard Marx for the 20th Century Fox animated film Anastasia in 1997 that was a hit on the Adult Contemporary Billboard chart but that really was it for chart success although Donna still records to this day with her latest album having been released this year.

So what was it about “I Love You Always Forever” that struck a chord with audiences and gold for Donna? Well, it strikes me that it has a timeless quality – it could have been a hit in the 80s as easily as it was in the 90s and Donna’s girlish voice (often compared to Cyndi Lauper) suited the almost nursery rhyme chant of the chorus perfectly. Ultimately though, it was a light, joyful song that almost seemed to bring hope to a world that so often seemed dark. One reviewer described listening to it as “catharsis” and that, presumably, is why I suddenly started hearing it on Magic radio in 2024.

£50 or gig? It’s the same scenario as the OMC gig. Sorry Donna, it’s got to be the money.

It’s a fifth week at the top for the Spice Girls and “Wannabe” so it’s probably time to talk about some of the lyrics of their debut single. First off is the elephant in the room – what the hell was “zigazig ah” all about?! Well, Marie Claire magazine reckoned they had the answer in a 2023 article:

One of Wannabe’s co-writers revealed that it was inspired by a saying on set: ‘Shit and cigars.’ Apparently, the Spice Girls shared a recording studio in Shoreditch with a famous musician and decided to give said celebrity this nickname. Why? Well the anonymous co-writer told The Sun: “There was this one eighties pop dude who hated us for encroaching on what he considered ‘his turf’ which was boy bands and girl bands. This guy had this nasty habit of taking a dump in the shared khazi while smoking a cigar, so we took to referring to him as ‘Shit and Cigars’.”

By Jamie Troy-Pride, published 20 April 2023 in News


Wonder who Mr Shit and Cigars was then? Cigars conjures up images of someone whom I don’t want to reference so let’s move on to the bit in the song where the group all get a name check. Marie Claire has the inside story on that too:

‘We’ve got Em in the place’ is likely a reference to Emma/Baby Spice who, apparently, ‘likes it in your face’. Pretty self explanatory. Then ‘we got G like MC’ (Geri and Mel C) who ‘like it on an e’ – this one really caught us off guard. Who knew that we’ve been unknowingly singing that for over twenty years? ‘Easy V’ actually gets it very easy because she doesn’t come for free – ‘she’s a real lady’, so congrats Posh. And Mel B’s is steeped in mystery as we’ll just have to see what she’s all about.

By Jamie Troy-Pride, published 1 August 2023 in Features

Not sure I needed to know that but it’s too late now. A final word about the people that the girls get up on stage with them for this TOTP performance. Do you think that was planned or spontaneous? The woman on the end in the hot pants next to Mel B looked like a bit of a ‘wannabe’ to me.

£50 or gig? Say you’ll be there? Sorry but I’ll be at home counting my 50 notes.

The play out track is “You’ll Be Mine (Party Time)” by Gloria Estefan. I don’t remember this one and have very little to say about it as a consequence so I’m going to rely on a tale I’ve told before about a friend from Poly who once asked if Emilio was Gloria’s brother having conflated the name Estevez with Estefan. In my friend’s defence, Gloria’s husband is called Emilio.

£50 or gig? Miami Sound Machine or Fifty Pound PDQ Machine? I’ll take the latter thanks.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Ant & DecBetter Watch OutI did and I swerved when I saw you coming – NO!
2Bryan AdamsLet’s Make A Night To RememberNah
3Pet Shop BoysSe a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)No but I had it on their Pop Art compilation
4Backstreet BoysWe’ve Got It Goin’ OnNever
53T / Michael JacksonWhy?As if
6OMCHow BizarreNo but my wife did
7REME-Bow The LetterNegative
8Donna LewisI Love You Always ForeverNope
9Spice GirlsWannabeI did not
10Gloria EstefanYou’ll Be Mine (Party Time)No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0023sy0/top-of-the-pops-23081996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 09 AUG 1996

I’m looking at the running order for this episode of TOTP from 1996 in the hope that I’ll spot a trend that will give me a foothold for a theme for this post but as usual it’s all over the place. In the latest edition of Classic Pop magazine, feature writer Ian Peel wrote:

But there’s one thing Classic Pop has never talked about or will ever talk about. And that’s ‘80s music’. Because there’s no such thing. There’s music from the 80s but it’s an era not a genre.

Anthem Publishing, 2024

Could the same not be said of the 90s? Sure, there were definite movements and trends like Britpop, Eurodance and the whole ‘Madchester’ thing just as the 80s had New Romantics, acid house music and Stock, Aitken and Waterman. However, these were transient and didn’t account for the whole of the decade’s tastes. They were a component part not the whole entity. Sometimes they would morph into something else or in the case of the dance music explosion, splinter into multiple sub genres. As for myself, I have, on occasion, been labelled as an “80s music fan” but that term is spurious – there’s plenty of music from the 80s I can’t stand and would never listen to. I like some but not all music that happened to be made in the 80s would be a more accurate description but I guess that’s a bit of a mouthful to be fair. Anyway, back to my original point which was that there are all sorts of music types represented in this show so I’ll just have to proceed with an open mind and call it as I see/hear it and see some sort of narrative emerges to glue it all together. One constant throughout the entirety of every show is, of course, the host and tonight’s is…oh god, it’s Peter Andre! He’d only been a thing for five minutes by this point – how did he get this gig so early on? Well, got it he has done let’s see how he did…

His first job is to introduce a reactivated New Edition who he claims are one of his all time favourite R&B groups before referring to them as ‘The Dream Team’. Hmm. Seems a bit over the top for a band whose best known song in this country is the bubblegum pop of “Candy Girl”. But then maybe Andre wasn’t aware of his R&B faves’ past? What was he doing in 1983 when “Candy Girl” was at No 1 in the UK.

*checks Wikipedia*

He was 10 years old and living in Australia having emigrated there with his family in 1979. Was “Candy Girl” even a hit down under?

*checks Wikipedia again*

Yes, it made No 10 in the Aussie chart so it’s certainly possible that Andre was aware of the song. In his defence, by the time he was a teenager and presumably his musical tastes more established and embedded, New Edition were recording an album with legendary R&B producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis so that may well have informed his opinion of them. Having said that, “Hit Me Off” was their first new material released since 1988 and the album before that had been a collection of doo-wop covers so that does rather undermine Andre’s claims. Why am I analysing the authenticity of Peter Andre’s music tastes? Sad as it is, I’d rather do that than write about New Edition’s 1996 comeback. “Hit Me Off”? Turn me off more like.

Another boy band next but one from our own shores. Unlike the squeaky clean New Kids On The Block who were created by ex-New Edition manager Maurice Starr to be “the white New Edition”, East 17 could never be described as beyond reproach or without vice. Whether it be interviews advocating drug use or their urban, grubby image, they were not your standard 90s boy band. It didn’t stop them selling records though, 10 million albums since their first hit back in 1992 according to Peter Andre in his intro. Is that true? 10 million?! Seems like a lot but who are we to doubt the word of a man who renewed his vows to then wife Katie Price in 2008 and ended up divorcing her 12 months later.

Anyway, “Someone To Love” was the fourteenth consecutive hit single for East 17 though by peaking at No 16, became their smallest since their second “Gold” stalled at No 28. Was the writing on the wall for the band’s future? I think it was. 1996 would turn out to be a bit of a swansong with a double platinum selling greatest hits compilation and a No 2 hit with Gabrielle. However, by 1997, first singer Brian Harvey was sacked and then songwriter Tony Mortimer left the band. There was a brief flurry of success in 1998 with Harvey reinstated and a hit single in “Each Time” but it was only delaying the inevitable. Had the band themselves realised that continued success couldn’t be taken for granted as early as 1995 and the recording of third album “Up All Night” and tried to push a new direction for themselves? “Someone To Love” is a passable gentle ballad with an acoustic guitar rhythm augmented by a sympathetic string section and Harvey’s plaintive vocals supported by some considered backing singing by his band mates. It’s actually quite a nice song and not typical of their normal output. Yes, their most famous song “Stay Another Day” was a ballad as well but that was a huge number with everything including sleigh bells thrown at it. “Someone To Love” had much more of a lilting nature. Rather sadly, in both meanings of the word, as of 2024, Terry Coldwell is the only original band member still with the group.

Next up, a song that set a new record at the time for the most plays on radio in one week. “Good Enough” by Dodgy racked up approximately 3,700 plays on national radio in seven days helping it rise to a peak of No 4 on the UK Top 40. By far the band’s biggest hit it is also, thanks to all that airplay, surely their best known as well. As far as I can tell though, it wasn’t the most played track on radio for the entire of 1996. That honour went to Mark Morrison’s “Return Of The Mack” though “Good Enough” did come in at No 8. Of those seven songs above it, only Pulp’s “Disco 2000” and “Give Me A Little More Time” by Gabrielle peaked lower in the charts than Dodgy with three of those above it being No 1 records. Not bad then for a band who had never had a Top 10 hit prior to this.

“Good Enough” wasn’t typical Dodgy fare though. An out and out pop song as opposed to an indie rock track, it felt like a deliberate attempt to write a huge hit but having read an interview with its composer Nigel Clark on its creation, it does sound like it came about organically. Messing around with an Akai S900, a very early sampler, Clark put a Lee Dorsey drumbeat on a loop and grew the track from there. Inspired by listening to Bob Marley’s “Kaya” album, he wanted it to be an upbeat track though he worried about demoing it to the rest of the band. However, their reaction was positive and after laying it down in the studio, Clark recalled thinking that “Good Enough” would last longer than Dodgy would. He was right. Thankfully though, I think their legacy is more than just that one track though – they were/are a band not a song, a fate which has befallen other artists like 4 Non Blondes who found it hard to escape the trappings of their mega hit “What’s Up?”.

The timing of its release to coincide with the Summer was perfect and surely deliberate; the single’s artwork was just a shot of a sunflower – they knew what they were doing. I think at Our Price where I was working, we had a pin badge with said sunflower on it to give away free with the single. The success of “Good Enough” would propel parent album “Free Peace Sweet” to platinum sales of 300,000 units. Pretty good going for a band derided by some as a Britpop also ran.

I’ve used the phrase “musical curiosity” or “curious musical footnote” many times whilst writing this blog – perhaps I’ve overused it but I really should have reserved it for this next hit. Anybody remember “Hanging Around” by Me Me Me? It must have passed me by despite the involvement of one of my favourite pop people ever that is Stephen Duffy. I’m not sure if his presence alongside Blur’s Alex James and Justin Welch from Elastica really qualifies as a ‘supergroup’ – probably more of a collective but it was very short lived either way. This single was their only release with the whole project only generating three tracks in total. The concept wasn’t even conceived to secure a hit single but rather as the soundtrack to a film made by artist Damien Hirst which was made for the Spellbound exhibition at the Hayward Gallery within the Southbank Centre. The film was only screened at the exhibition and once on national television at 11.50 at night.

Given that niche exposure, its peak of No 19 seems rather like a case of overachievement. Or perhaps its chart performance was down to it actually being good? Heh. Don’t be so naive I hear you shout and you’re right. When has quality been anything to do with popularity? In all fairness, there wasn’t much quality to “Hanging Around”. There wasn’t much of anything to it. A few random phrases picked because they rhymed set against a jaunty, Madness-lite tune that would have been discarded at the demo stage when it came to making the cut for a Blur album. What a waste! Stephen Duffy has a back catalogue of some incredibly affecting and crafted pop music but this…this was pure hokum. I can only assume some record label marketing and dubious ‘selling in’ practices got it into the charts at all. “Hanging around”? Nah, it was just angin’.

Although this next track topped the American charts for eight weeks, I can’t recall it being in our charts. However, most unfortunately, I do remember only too well a cover of it going to No 1 in the UK six years later. “Tha’ Crossroads” by Bone ThugsnHarmony was written as a tribute to a number of people close to the hip-hop group who had died recently including the rapper and their mentor Eazy-E.

The members of the group were:

  • Bizzy Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone
  • Krayzie Bone
  • Layzie Bone
  • Wish Bone

That list reminds me of a reality tv series called Tool Academy the premise of which was to take twelve unsuspecting ‘bad boyfriends’ and send them to a ‘relationship boot camp’ to teach them how to be better partners. The boyfriends were given nicknames such as ‘Massive Tool’, ‘Temper Tool’, ‘Stoner Tool’, ‘Jealous Tool’ and ‘Neander Tool’. Anyway, want to know the real names of the ‘Bones’? Here you go:

  • Bryon
  • Stanley
  • Anthony
  • Steven
  • Charles

Heh. As hip-hop tracks go, “Tha’ Crossroads” was a little unusual with an almost gospel feel to the chorus and it was all the better for that. However, the version by Blazin’ Squad in 2002 which was retitled “Crossroads”…what on earth was going on there? I’m guessing that this lot weren’t taken seriously at the time? Certainly watching them back over 20 years later they look staggeringly ludicrous. The fact that there’s so many of them for a start undermines any credibility for me and the there’s their horribly hackneyed hip-hop posturing, all that throwing their arms about and the Ali G hand gestures. Someone from their management really should have had a word with them. One of their number appeared on Celebrity Big Brother and another ended up on Love Island. Says it all really.

Suede are back in the TOTP studio after doing an exclusive performance the other week having crashed into the charts at No 3 with “Trash”. I said in a previous post that I’d caught them live in Blackburn in early 1997 so I looked that gig on the Setlist FM website and can report it was a 14 song strong set of which, rather predictably, 10 came from latest album “Coming Up” – basically the whole album. The only tracks not taken from it were “The 2 Of Us” and “The Wild Ones” from “Dog Man Star” and “So Young” and “Animal Nitrate” from their eponymous debut album. I think I might have been ever so slightly disappointed that they didn’t do “The Drowners” and “Metal Mickey” as well.

Peter Andre says of them in his intro “here’s Suede at their most Suede”. Was that meant to be a play on words? If so, it didn’t match up to my mate Robin who once wrote me a letter (remember those!) informing me he’d been to see Suede at a very early gig when the music press were going crazy for them. His three word review? “Suede. I wasn’t”.

The UK really had a weakness for Michael Jackson in the 90s. By this point in the decade he’d accumulated thirteen hit singles over here including three No 1s and two No 2s. In addition, all three albums he released topped the charts. But it wasn’t just him that was the object of the nation’s affections – anybody related to him was also on our radar. The recently passed away Tito Jackson’s offspring benefited from the UK’s devotion to all things and people Jacko to the tune of five hit singles as 3T including this one “Why?”. There was no chance of us giving this one a miss what the King of Pop himself appearing on it alongside his nephews.

I’m surprised he deigned to be officially credited on it and didn’t just give it to them free of charge as it were given what a dreary, lamentable track it is. And don’t get me started on its lyrics. It’s very first two lines are;

Why does Monday come before Tuesday? Why do Summers start in June?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Annie Lennox
Why? lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Boobie And Dj Songs, Inc.

Give me a break! The song sticks with this theme as a few lines later we get:

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday? Why do flowers come in May?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Annie Lennox
Why? lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Boobie And Dj Songs, Inc.

What?! The point Jackson was trying to make in a very laboured way was ‘why do we let ourselves fall in love if that love doesn’t last?’. Not sure what that has to do with days of the week or the seasons to be honest. Look, if you want to listen to a song called “Why” then try this one:

For the third week running, we have Robbie Williams on the show with “Freedom”. Wow! TOTP was really getting behind the launch of his solo career weren’t they? Perhaps executive producer Ric Blaxill could see something the rest of us were struggling to, namely that this guy was going to have the kind of longevity that most artists can only dream of. Robbie looks a bit disheveled in this performance though, as if he’s just wandered onto the stage direct from an all night bender. Maybe he did get a couple of hours sleep judging by the ‘ski slope’ bit of hair on the back of his head that you get if you slept in an awkward position that’s a bugger to get to behave. He’ll have eight months to sort it out though as we won’t be seeing him on the show again until his next single “Old Before I Die” is released the following April.

It’s a third week at No 1 for the Spice Girls. In 2014, a study by the University of Amsterdam and Manchester’s Museum of Science and Industry found that “Wannabe” was the catchiest song of all time in that it is the most easily recognisable. In an experiment of 12,000 participants who were asked if they knew songs from a random sample of 1,000 of the most popular songs since the 1940s, the quickest to be recognised was “Wannabe” in 2.29 seconds. Second was “Mambo No 5” and third was “Eye Of The Tiger”. Hmm. Well, the Survivor hit has that very distinctive guitar riff intro with the chord changes designed to match the punches in the boxing scenes from Rocky III so that’s understandable. “Wannabe” starts with Mel B’s laugh and then is straight into the “Well, I’ll tell you what I want” hook so I get that but Lou Bega? He literally just says “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No 5”! Of course people were quick to identify it!

So how did Peter Andre do as host? I have to grudgingly admit he was alright actually. Nothing too embarrassing, didn’t get his six pack out and didn’t stumble over his lines. His last job is to introduce the play out video which is “Love Sensation” by 911. Of all the 90s bands, this lot were one of the most unlikely. Lead singer Lee Brennan was your typical pretty boy but the other two? They looked like nightclub bouncers. Apparently, they met as dancers on late night, cult viewing music show The Hitman And Her and decided to form a band. Weren’t Take That’s Jason Orange and Howard Donald also dancers on the show? Anyway, despite the odds, having joined forces with Brennan, they somehow managed to score 13 UK hit singles including a No 1. Many of them were cover versions of the likes of Shalamar, Dr. Hook and the Bee Gees. This No 21 hit was all their own work though but is so lightweight as to hardly exist at all.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1New EditionHit Me OffI did not
2East 17Someone To LoveNegative
3DodgyGood EnoughNo but my wife had their Free Peace Sweet album
4Me Me MeHanging AroundNo No No
5Bone Thugs-n-HarmonyTha’ CrossroadsNope
6SuedeTrashNo but I had their Coming Up album
73T / Michael JacksonWhy?What? Of course not
8Robbie WilliamsFreedomNah
9Spice GirlsWannabeNo
10911Love SensationNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00fsvcz/top-of-the-pops-09081996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 02 MAY 1996

When I write these reviews, I try and make reference to what else was going on at the time of the show’s broadcast either nationally, globally or indeed personally on occasion. Well, I’ve made a discovery on the last of those angles – I’ve found an old diary from 1996. I’d forgotten that I used to keep one from about 1991 to 1997. I can’t find the rest of them which were presumably lost in various house moves but the ‘96 one is intact. Now obviously I’m not going to reveal my inner most thoughts from back then but it might prove to be a gold mine for filling in some background details. So what was I doing on the day of this particular TOTP?

*refers to diary*

Ah excellent! It was my day off (I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport) so what did I do with it? I went into town to pay our council tax bill! The 27 year old me knew how to live back then! In my defence, I don’t think I paying bills by direct debit was commonplace in 1996 and though I was no poll tax rioter, I probably wanted some control over when I paid it on account of permanently being skint. Paying bills wasn’t the only thing I was doing though. In an unlikely push to better myself, I was doing two courses at this time. One was a First Aid class and the second was about 50s music. Get me! These days I struggle to read an online article in its entirety. I also note that on this day, Glenn Hoddle accepted the offer of becoming the next England manager and would be leaving my beloved Chelsea at the end of the season. I write this post the day after Gareth Southgate has just resigned as national team coach following England’s loss to Spain in the Euros 2024 final. Whilst it may have seemed as if the appointment had come a bit early in Hoddle’s career, he looked like Pep Guardiola compared to the current crop of names being lined up to replace Southgate. Graham Potter?! Do me a favour!

Now this is all very interesting (or not) but what about TOTP? What about the music? You’re right of course so let’s get to it and we start with “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” by Gina G. Despite having been on the show at least twice already, she’s back on tonight in another promotion push as the UK’s 1996 Eurovision entry with the contest just over two weeks away. Due to the multiple appearances, Gina and her backing dancers were step and word perfect by this point and I have to say it all hangs together pretty well. Gina seemed to be channeling her inner Kylie with her glittery micro dress and wide, perma-smile and why not? One of her dancers (the one in the pink dress) looks a bit like ex-EastEnders actress Samantha Janus who of course represented the UK at Eurovision in 1991. It isn’t her but she had me fooled for a while or perhaps I should say just a little bit.

In a recent TOTP repeat, we witnessed the sad spectacle of Miss Diana Ross making a fool of herself by covering Gloria Gaynor’s disco classic “I Will Survive” as she searched desperately for a hit to keep her relevant in the mid 90s. I said at the time of reviewing her performance that we would be seeing and hearing another cover of the track very shortly and that time is now. Chantay Savage (nothing to do with Robbie, Lily or Doc) however took the track in a completely different direction, slowing it down so much that it was reconstructed as an R’n’B ballad. Although it did little for me, I give her full marks for creativity. Sadly, such imagination was lacking when it came to naming her album which was called “I Will Survive” (Doin’ It My Way)” – a more literal title it’s hard to conceive. Chantay would never have another UK hit single in her own right though she did co-write “We Got A Love Thang” for CeCe Peniston in 1993 which went Top 10.

I should have said that tonight’s host is the very affable Michelle Gayle who is perhaps being slightly disingenuous when she says in her intro to The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad and their hit “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” that she doesn’t know if United will win the league and FA Cup double for the second time in three years. History records that the Red Devils did indeed do the ‘double double’ in 1996, a view that was obviously not available to Michelle seeing as those events were yet to happen but I’m pretty sure that they were red hot favourites to do so. Three days after this TOTP aired, Fergie took his team to Middlesbrough, easily won 3-0 and secured the Premier League title having successfully hunted down Newcastle United who led the table by 12 points in January, Kevin Keegan rants and all. Six days on from that, they were at Wembley for the FA Cup final against a Liverpool side who were no slouches but neither were they anywhere near the great teams of their 70s and 80s history. It would have been a shock (albeit a mild one) had the Scousers triumphed. As it turned out, the 1996 final was a terrible game with Eric Cantona’s late winner sparing us the misery of extra time. The fact that the final is best remembered for the Liverpool squad’s horrendous cream suits says everything.

Alex Ferguson’s United were in the middle of their 90s pomp but at least their dreadful cup final song for this season didn’t replicate the success of its 1994 counterpart “Come On You Reds” which inexplicably topped the charts. The good news is that unless they released one for the 1999 FA Cup final which formed part of their historic treble (I can’t recall if they did or not) this should be the last time I have to review any more of their singles. The bad news is that we haven’t seen the last of football related hits in 1996 by a long chalk.

Blimey! This next song is as dull as my diary! If I thought 3T’s last hit “Anything” was as drippy as the roofs of some of the stadiums at EURO 2024, I hadn’t reckoned on its follow up “24/7”. Jacko’s nephews have tried to inject a slightly more uptempo beat to it than its predecessor but it seems to just shine an even harsher light on how insipid a tune it is. The guy who dramatically flung his rucksack to the ground during performances of “Anything” (I’ve no idea which one he is out of Taj, Tyrell and TJ) seems to have lost his prop for this single – maybe the song wasn’t his bag (ahem).

I’m guessing that after being introduced by Chris Eubank the other week as “an absolute tottie’, Sleeper’s Louise Werner might have expected a less suggestive intro from a fellow female artist but Michelle Gayle can’t resist referring to her as “sexy” and lumping her in with similarly categorised pop star Louise (“she’s called Louise – aren’t they all?”). Louise and her band (now I’m at it, making it all about the female lead singer) are into the Top 10 for the first time with “Sale Of The Century” and to celebrate, she’s come in a top that is appropriately Britpop in style. In fact, what with that and her jumping and hopping stage moves, she’s coming across like a feminine version of Damon Albarn (more of whom later). At least she’s not just standing there statuesque (see what I did there?).

Louise would go on to be a successful author post Sleeper and before their reforming in 2017 writing both fiction and an account of her music career Just For One Day: Adventures In Britpop (also published as Different For Girls: My Truelife Adventures In Pop). The blurb for that autobiography includes the line “eating Twiglets backstage and enviously eyeing up Damon Albarn’s plate of foreign cheeses”. Don’t cheddar tear over him Louise! It’ll ruin your mascarpone. These cheese puns are starting to grate now aren’t they?

As is the case with Erasure, there’s a list of every Pet Shop Boys single in my memory banks from 1985 to the early 90s that I’m pretty sure I could recite in its entirety. However, as is also the case with Erasure, it all starts to go a bit hazy around the mid 90s when, despite working in record shops for the entire decade, I must have taken my eyes off what both duos were up to. “Before” is a case in point. This track is definitely not anywhere to be found in my ageing grey matter cells. It was, however, the lead single from sixth studio album “Bilingual” which was actually Chris and Neil’s first since 1993’s “Very”. However, there had been Pet Shop Boys releases in the meantime in the form of the collections “Disco 2” and “Alternative” which were a remix album and B-sides compilation respectively.

“Bilingual” didn’t appear until the start of September so “Before” preceded it by four months making it feel like a stand alone single which maybe explains why I don’t remember it. I do recall second single “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)” which came out a few weeks before the album which is presumably why I would have sworn that was its lead single. Why the early release date for “Before”? I’m not sure but Wikipedia tells me that in 1995, Neil and Chris ended their contract with the American arm of EMI and singled with Atlantic who launched a renewed marketing campaign to promote the duo in the US so maybe that had something to do with it? Or maybe they wanted to consolidate on the success they had achieved with their collaboration on “Hallo Spaceboy” with David Bowie in the February and didn’t want to leave a gap of six months until their next single? Either way, I’m not sure “Before” deserves all this retrospective attention and consideration as it’s a pretty weak track in my opinion. Sure it was a Top 10 hit but the Pet Shop Boys fan base would always guarantee that for a release of brand new material. It’s not terrible it’s just not that memorable. Listening to it now, I could imagine its chorus being sung by (the horror!) Take That on one of their 90s hits. Even the video is just full of special effects and computer graphics which seems to dominate all their promos around this time and which showed a lack of foresight as they have dated so much as to appear naff now if not…erm… before.

The last time The Cure were on the show performing “The 13th” I wasn’t especially complimentary about the song. I’m not the only person who has a downer on it. A regular reader of this blog commented that the whole album it was taken from – “Wild Mood Swings” – was such a disappointment when it came out and the fact that “The 13th” was one of the better tracks on it shows how poor it was. Online forums seemed to be split in their judgement on it. Some people rate it in their Top 10 songs by The Cure whilst others state (and I quote) “The 13th is justifiably shat on by most fans” and that “it sounds like something brought up from the sewer”. On reflection, have I been too harsh? Sure, it’s a bit out there and maybe not what we might have expected but look at their back catalogue. The Cure have always innovated and reinvented themselves. Look at the difference between “The Walk” and “The Lovecats” first example – two non-album singles that were released within four months of each other in 1983 but were years apart sonically it seemed to me. If only “The 13th” could have peaked at No 13 instead of its actual high of No 15, my musical itch would have been scratched.

If asked to come up with a song by the Smashing Pumpkins then “Tonight, Tonight” would be the only track I could name with total confidence. Nothing to do with the Genesis hit which almost shared the same title (theirs had an extra ‘Tonight’ in it), there’s a reason why this one has stood tall and proud in my music recollections – it’s magnificent. A sprawling epic masterpiece, it was recorded with a 30 piece string section courtesy of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. It’s one of those rare songs where the standout hook of the chorus is actually purely instrumental with no vocal, well for me it is anyway. Those swooping, descending strings allied to rousing guitars and a galloping drum riff – remarkable stuff. Somehow though it didn’t make me explore their material any further. Maybe I should do now that investigating an artist’s back catalogue is so much easier due to streaming platforms like Spotify. As for host Michelle Gayle’s claim that although it was the band’s first appearance on the show that she was sure it wouldn’t be the last, as far as I can tell, they never made it back to the TOTP studio despite having a further five UK Top 40 hits.

George Michael is straight in at No 1 with “Fastlove” just as he did with previous single “Jesus To A Child”. This was impressive stuff given it was all happening at the peak of Britpop and George’s chart toppers had been a melancholic ballad and then a funky, R&B workout. The successful streak continued when parent album “Older” was released eleven days after this TOTP aired and immediately went to No 1, going on to sell 1.8 million copies in the UK. It was quite a comeback given his last studio album had been six years earlier.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had consecutive No 1 singles. His first two solo hits “Careless Whisper” and “A Different Corner” both scaled the heights albeit two years apart and punctuated by a raft of Wham! releases. If you count his 1987 duet with Aretha Franklin “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” then it’s three on the bounce. Similarly, if you go back to George’s involvement in the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and his version of “Somebody To Love” on the “Five Live EP” in 1993, then there’s also a run of three No 1s including “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove”. However, despite a subsequent string of No 2 hits, the latter would prove to be his final UK chart topper.

Perhaps lazily, when talking about the Battle of Britpop in the Summer of 1995, the phrase ‘Blur won the battle but Oasis won the war’ is often trotted out. This translates as “Country House” beat “Roll With It” to No1 but in terms of albums, “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” sold loads more than “The Great Escape”. Whilst that is true with the former achieving sales equivalent to seventeen times platinum compared to the latter’s three times, Blur’s fourth studio album sometimes unfairly gets a bad rap. Yes, all the critical plaudits go to “Modern Life Is Rubbish” and “Parklife” for being musical milestones and I don’t disagree but if you apply a purely statistical analysis, “The Great Escape” is the only Blur album to furnish the band with four Top 10 hits including a No 1. 1997’s eponymous follow up album came close to matching that accomplishment but was let down by fourth single “M.O.R.” peaking at No 15. The fourth single from “The Great Escape” was “Charmless Man” which is a decidedly decent song that doesn’t have the profile it maybe deserves with TOTP not contributing to it by only showing 30 seconds of its video over the closing credits. Said video features the actor Jean-Marc Barr as the titular protagonist who would be one of the actors regularly employed by the controversial film director Lars Von Triers in his movies. In this very year of 1996, the first of his Golden Heart Trilogy of movies was released. Breaking The Waves though, is one of the most miserable films I have ever seen – truly charmless.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitI did not
2Chantay SavageI Will SurviveNo
3The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never!
43T24/7I’ll give you one guess…
5SleeperSale Of The CenturyNope
6Pet Shop BoysBeforeNegative
7The CureThe 13thNah
8Smashing PumpkinsTonight, TonightApparently not but I really should have
9George MichaelFastloveIt’s another no
10BlurCharmless ManNo but I had The Great Escape album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020sr3/top-of-the-pops-02051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 22 FEB 1996

Welcome to another instalment of TOTP Rewind, the blog where I, a man who turned 56 yesterday, reviews past episodes of the legendary pop music show and who, despite having lived through this era and worked in record shops for nigh on the whole of the 90s, often has zero recall of some of the acts and songs featured. Don’t let that put you off though! I remember some of it – honest! To help stimulate my brain into activity, and I haven’t done this in a while, I’m going to check in on what I was up to in early 1996 in my personal life (I will get to the music eventually I promise!). Well, I was working at the Our Price store in Stockport and had been there for about a year following the closure of the Market Street, Manchester shop. Retail was hard work but the product was exciting and the staff all pretty much got on with each other (usually) so there were regular after work drinks in the town’s hostelries.

My life was ticking along nicely then until it was rudely interrupted by me being called up for jury service. If you’ve never done it, I can say that it was both fascinating and terrifying. I don’t know if it’s still the same as I’ve not done it since but you were expected to serve for a minimum of two weeks with the courts meeting the costs of your wages. Two weeks off work might have sounded great and indeed day one was spent just sitting around waiting to be called onto a jury which I wasn’t. I remember I was reading Trainspotting by Irvine Walsh and pretty much finished the whole book that day. First thing on day two though I was selected for a jury. Watching the defence and prosecution making their cases in court was fascinating. It wasn’t until they’d finished and you had to go and discuss the case as a jury that it became real and that was the scary bit. That 17th century saying describing the make up of a jury as “twelve good men and true” was a load of bollocks I was to discover and I don’t mean the obvious flaw that women have been serving on juries since the 1920s. I vowed there and then never to get in trouble with the law because if my misdemeanour went to court, the calibre of people deciding your fate could not be guaranteed. I won’t go into any details of the case but one bloke came to his personal verdict straight away based on what the accused looked like, refused to consider any counter arguments and sat there reading his copy of The Sun for the rest of the day. As we couldn’t come to a verdict we were all agreed on by the end of play, we started to wonder what would happen. Would we have to stay overnight in a hotel like in the movies? Fearing this might be the case, The Sun reading bloke started to panic saying he was meant to be going out with the lads that night and so offered to change his mind if it would help! I was appalled! In the end, we were just told to go home and not talk about the case.

When we reconvened the following day, The Sun reader assumed his original stance and we were subsequently dismissed as a jury as we were taking to too long to come to a verdict for this type of case (an historical one brought years after the event with no physical evidence). The experience has stayed with me ever since. Back to the TOTP though and I wonder if there are any acts on tonight who should be tried for crimes against popular music?

Well, “I Wanna Be A Hippy” by Technohead must surely have some charges to face. As established in a previous post, this was an example of gabber dance music, a subgenre of hardcore techno and definitely not happy hardcore as I initially surmised. What it undoubtedly was, of course, was hideously irritating crap that, horror of horrors, also refused to shift from your brain for hours once heard.

I can think of no more of a condemnation of it than to point out that its chart peak of No 6 was actually bettered by a parody of it by The Smurfs later in the year retitled as “I’ve Got A Little Puppy” which got to No 4 despite featuring the lyric “I take it for a walk, pooper pooper scooper”. Talk about dog shit!

I seem to be getting very bogged down in definitions of dance music currently and here’s another one. After the gabber strand of Technohead comes the Dream house of Robert Miles. At least host Lisa I’Anson had the good grace to name check the sub genre in her intro meaning I didn’t have to do too much research into working out which category it belonged to. “Children” was another of those mid-90s hits like “Missing” by Everything But The Girl that stayed on the UK charts for months. Ten weeks inside the Top 10 (of which the first seven were spent at either No 2 or No 3) and sixteen in the Top 40 in total. Quite remarkable for a tune that initially was not included on Radio 1 daytime playlists. No matter though as the UK, just like the rest of Europe where it went to No 1 in twelve different countries, was unable to resist its charms. Characterised by a floating, ethereal piano riff, was it just Jean Michel Jarre for the 90s? I don’t know enough about the “Oxygène and “Équinoxe” hitmaker to make an informed judgment but it was certainly worlds away from the headache inducing relentless beats of the likes of the aforementioned Technohead and thank god for that!

Apparently, Miles created “Children” to help combat a tragic consequence of rave culture, namely that of clubbers falling asleep at the wheel of their vehicles after a night of strenuous dancing combined with alcohol and drug use. Dubbed ‘strage del sabato sera’ (Saturday night slaughter) in Italy, Miles wanted to compose a a calming track to end a DJ set to help the crowd acclimatise before heading home. I had no idea about any of that until now. It was just that instrumental dance track that I sold over and over the counter in Our Price.

Here’s a question. How do you follow up the biggest hit of your career which knocked down barriers that had previously excluded you from a wider audience and brought you into the mainstream consciousness? Well, if you’re Björk, you turn your back on that breakthrough hit and return to your original style and principles and resume your rather experimental music career. Reading that back, it sounds rather glib and possibly inaccurate. Or is it actually correct? Let’s examine the evidence. The case for the prosecution is that surely anyone not previously familiar with Björk’s oeuvre but who loved and bought “It’s Oh So Quiet” were not going to be tempted to continue that purchasing trend by the next single “Hyperballad” were they? A skittering, jerky, bleeping track about throwing objects off a cliff in the early morning before your partner awakes to symbolise the parts of yourself you must sacrifice in order to make a relationship work, this was a return to the Björk of old wasn’t it?

The case for the defence is that the track was critically acclaimed by the music press. Look at these reviews:

…excellent example of music meeting art”

Diver, Mike (2009). “Review of Björk – Post”. BBC. Retrieved 25 November 2020.

“…a delightful track that all fans of quality music will enjoy.”

Baltin, Steve (9 March 1996). “Pop Singles”. Cash Box. p. 7. Retrieved 14 November 2022.

“All fans of quality music” eh? Well, that’s me told. Added to that is the fact that “Hyperballad” was a UK Top 10 hit and that Björk had just won a BRIT award for International Female Solo Artist would suggest she was hardly a cult figure any longer and that she had already crossed over into the mainstream quite successfully thank you very much. The verdict? The blogger is guilty of anti-Björk bias m’lud.

Next a duo who were continually accused of committing the crime of making bland and unworthy pop music – will the Lighthouse Family please rise! In their defence, their hit “Lifted” was co-written by Martin Brammer who was the vocalist in the rather excellent 80s band The Kane Gang who knew his way around a tune and indeed is an Ivor Novello Award nominee. The prosecution would level the charges that he’s also written songs for Olly Murs and Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys. My verdict would be that though not a fan, there are much more heinous musical misdemeanours to be offended by although the claim on Smooth Radio’s website that Lighthouse Family are “one of the most popular duos of all time” may result in litigation from Simon & Garfunkel, Soft Cell, Erasure, Pet Shop Boys…

From a duo to a trio now as it’s yet another appearance on the show for 3T and their hit “Anything”. I’m so bored of this lot and their drippy ballad that the only thing that will keep me watching is to see if the one in the hat has brought his backpack with him and whether he’ll dramatically throw it down on the floor again…

*keeps watching…*

He’s definitely got it with him…

*still watching…*

Pow! He’s slam dunked it again! Now cart them all off to jail. It is beyond reasonable doubt that they are guilty of assault and battery of my ears.

It’s time for the Battle of Britpop Version 2.0 that nobody ever talks about (apart from me) probably because it wasn’t really a proper thing. We all know that Blur won said battle in the summer of 1995 but there was nearly a repeat the following year. Perhaps deliberately, Oasis and Blur missed clashing release dates of their first singles of 1996 by a week meaning there was not officially a rematch of the two bands duking it out for the No 1 spot. This was probably just as well in the case of Damon and co as they would have been stopped in the first round by their northern counterparts. “Stereotypes” was the third single released from “The Great Escape” album and its chart high of No 7 was pretty respectable. However, when “Don’t Look Back In Anger” came out seven days later, its sales dwarfed those of “Stereotypes”. Well, they did in Our Price Stockport anyway. I’m pretty sure I have these figures correct – by my memory we sold 429 CDs of the Oasis single in week one but just 13 of Blur’s. Ooof! No wonder Noel Gallagher felt cocky enough to give this message to camera at the top of the show:

“Good evening Top of the Pops. Best band in the world, live and exclusive…and it’s not Blur”

To rub salt in the wound, the TOTP producers have got both bands in the studio together tonight and are letting Oasis perform two tracks after they’d already walked off with three BRIT awards (to Blur’s zero) three days earlier but to Blur’s credit, they seem to have taken it all in good grace with Damon acting all playful around Lisa I’Anson as she introduces them. As for “Stereotypes” as a song, it’s not the band’s best work by any measure. A functional, Blur-by-numbers track to my mind but supposedly it had originally been earmarked as the lead single from the album. Now if that Battle of Britpop had been “Stereotypes” v “Don’t Look Back In Anger” instead of “Country House” v “Roll With It”, we might have had a different winner.

And so to those naughty Manc lads who, as previously mentioned, have been allotted two songs on the show which was not a regular occurrence then or at any point in TOTP history. As far as I’m aware, only The Beatles and The Jam were given that honour previously. The Fab Four’s double appearance was way before my time but I distinctly remember The Jam performing double A-side “Town Called Malice” and “Precious” in 1982 as my Weller obsessed elder brother sat watching transfixed. Fast forward 14 years and it’s self confessed Jam fan Noel Gallagher taking up the baton from his hero. “Don’t Look Back In Anger” was the second of eight No 1s for Oasis and in truth, its success was no surprise. With the album “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” having already been out four months and gone multiple times platinum, you might have thought that a fourth single being lifted from it was destined to not pull up any trees sales wise as so many people already had it. However, such was the buzz around this huge anthem and so long had we known that it would be coming out as a single (it was initially due out in early January but was delayed by five weeks) that there was huge anticipation for its release.

I understand the criticisms that are levelled at it (and many other Oasis tracks) that it’s so derivative and steals from other songs. There’s the “Imagine”-esque piano opening, the lyric pinch from the legendary John Lennon memoirs cassette that was stolen from the Dakota Hotel, the similarity to “All The Young Dudes” and my own personal discovery that the chords are almost the same as those of “Ralph McTell’s “Streets Of London” and yet…I still think it’s a great song, possibly their best. I think there’s a valid claim here that this song and 1996 in general was the high point of the band’s career. Sure they wouldn’t release any new material for another 18 months but this was the year of the Maine Road gigs (more of them later) plus the two nights at Knebworth House where they performed to 250,000 people but could have sold 10 times the amount of tickets. I don’t think they were ever bigger than at this point. 1997 would bring the difficult third album “Be Here Now” and the whole cringey ‘Cool Britannia’ nonsense and subsequent years would see the band change the line up though remain popular but not be the phenomenon that they once were.

I certainly recall thinking this double TOTP performance was a big deal. The way Liam goes “yeah, yeah, yeah” to the studio audience as he crosses over with Noel as if to say “settle down, of course we’re playing another and we’re the only band who can do this because we’re the best”. That second song was their cover of Slade’s “Cum On Feel The Noize” which was one of the three extra tracks featured on the CD single. For some this was a lazy, hammy choice of song to cover but I loved it especially the piss taking Black Country accents the band put in at the beginning and end of the track. Well, I was 28 years younger then and I guess my sense of humour wasn’t as mature (?) as it is (?) now. The other tracks on that CD single were “Underneath The Sky” which didn’t have that much going for it in retrospect but which I thought was perfectly fine back then and “Step Out” which was a gloriously effervescent song that unfortunately gave more credence to the claims of those who were not Oasis fans that Noel just kept stealing other people’s work when it was found to be so similar to Stevie Wonder’s “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” that the soul legend had to be credited on the track.

So returning to those aforementioned Maine Road gigs, I did get to the Saturday one but I nearly missed out altogether. I knew that they were going on sale from the Manchester Apollo box office and the Apollo wasn’t that far from where we were living. As it happened, the day they went on sale was one of those when I was on jury service. This was great news as it meant I didn’t have to worry about getting to work and also gave me a bit of extra time as the courts didn’t open until about 10ish. Nothing could stop me getting those Oasis tickets now…except the monstrously huge queue that I found when I arrived at the Apollo. I thought I was getting there in time for the box office to open but hadn’t banked on the number of people who had camped out overnight to be at the head of the queue. I joined the back of it and looked at my watch. The queue wasn’t moving quickly and all that time that I thought I had was now not looking like nearly enough. So couldn’t I have just stuck it out and tuned up late at court? Not an option. On a previous day I’d witnessed a fellow jury member return late from lunch by a few minutes delaying the start of the afternoon session. The judge asked him how much his lunch had cost. “Five pounds” came the reply. “Add a zero to that and that’s how much your fine is for being late back” pronounced the judge. As I got closer to the box office window, the minutes were slipping away. I got to within six or seven people from the front of the queue before time ran out and I lost my nerve. I just walked away from the queue and headed into town to do my public duty. Fortunately for me, my mate Paul (the chef from last week’s post who liked to play rap music loudly while washing his whites in our flat) was on the case and got tickets for us all so I did go to the Oasis ball after all.

The “Spaceman”’s orbit has started to decay and he’s crashing back down to earth. Yes, it’s the fifth and final week at No 1 for Babylon Zoo and what a strange ride it was. The nation lost its head over the music on a 30 seconds jeans advert causing the full track to be released. Only then did the truth come out that it wasn’t what the advert had promised but we gave a collective shrug of our shoulders and went out and bought it in our droves anyway. Jas Mann got to be the pop star who he always believed it was his destiny to be for a little while before suffering a backlash that this country always reserves for people deemed to have been too successful. We might see Babylon Zoo on TOTP again in these repeats as there were a couple of minor hit singles in the wake of their No 1 but their time in the spotlight was waning faster than a shooting star across the sky. Unlike “Starman”, “Spaceman” didn’t blow our minds, at least not for long anyway.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1TechnoheadI Wanna Be A HippyNever
2Robert MilesChildrenNo
3BjörkHyperballadI did not
4Lighthouse FamilyLiftedNah
53TAnythingNope
6BlurStereotypesNo but I had The Great Escape album with it on
7OasisDon’t Look Back In Anger / Cum On Feel The NoizeYes sir!
8Babylon ZooSpacemanI am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001zj0c/top-of-the-pops-22021996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 08 FEB 1996

OK so the ‘golden mic’ host thing, I get it. An attempt by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill to inject an element of glamour to the proceedings, to shake up the traditional format, to maybe spring a surprise on the millions watching at home. So we had various members of Take That and Boyzone for the swoon factor, PJ and Duncan honing their presenting skills for their future careers, a number of comedians including Jack Dee, Phill Jupitus, Jo Brand and Mark Lamarr to add some humour to the links and some names that defied explanation based on performance (Craig McLachlan was truly awful). However, one of the oddest incumbents of the ‘golden mic’ slot was surely the host of this particular show – Julian Cope. Quite why the head shaman of rock ‘n’ roll, the too cool for school arch-drude, a guy so out there that he lives not just in the left field but on the extreme peripheries of it, would be seen as a good fit for a mainstream pop music show is strange indeed.

Now, let me be clear – I like Julian and some of his music is mighty fine (not that I claim to know all his canon of work). I’ve read his double autobiography HeadOn / Repossessed and I’ve even attended one of his megalithic exhibitions though sadly it wasn’t the one in the British Museum where he arrived in five inch platform boots and doused in so much hairspray that he set the fire alarms off causing the building to be evacuated. That’s how you walk into a room! He’s also one of the world’s first bloggers dating back to 1997 and has written an ‘Album of the Month’ review since May 2000 and hasn’t ever missed a month. As a blogger who has been reviewing TOTP repeats these past eight years, I utterly respect his commitment to the cause. And yet…was he really a sensible choice for hosting the grand old show? For a start, would the watching youth even know who he was? Yes, he’d performed on the programme some six months previously promoting his “Try, Try, Try” single but he was hardly a chart regular. Then there was his propensity for protest. Hadn’t Ric Blaxill figured out that Julian would use this prime time exposure to further causes that were close to his heart and wouldn’t that cause a problem in compromising the BBC’s impartiality? Predictably, Cope does exploit his half hour in the spotlight to promote his objection to the building of the Newbury bypass in a series of sloganed T-shirts. OK, well let’s see how this turns out…

The opening act, like it so often was, is a dance act and also as was often the case, their single had already been a hit. “Loving You More” by BT had got to No 28 in September 1995 but made No 14 when rereleased the following year. Obviously, I don’t remember this one as I wouldn’t have been interested in it back then. What do I think of it now? Well, it’s still not my bag but I’ve heard much, much worse in the course of these 90s TOTP repeats. It’s actually quite a smooth sound and vocalist Vincent Covello has a decent set of pipes as well as looking like a swarthy version of Marti Pellow. As for the guys at the front of the stage, they look like they’ve just wondered in from a Fast Show sketch. Most odd.

Talking of odd, let’s check in on host Julian Cope and see how he’s holding up. Well, he’s brought his mascot Sqwubbsy with him for moral support. You may recognise Sqwubbsy as he’s been on the show before dancing in the studio audience as Julian performed the aforementioned “Try Try Try” and he also made an appearance at the Poll Tax riots of 1990 (hence his pin badge here). Again, I’m surprised he got away with flouting such political credentials on TOTP. Anyway, Cope manages not to fluff his intro for second act Joan Osborne and her single “One Of Us”. Nothing to do with the ABBA song of the same name, this was an example of a curious trend in the 90s of American female solo artists having one big hit over here and then disappearing almost as soon as they had arrived. Starting as the decade began with Alannah Myles and “Black Velvet”, there followed the likes of Lisa Loeb and her only hit “Stay (I Missed You)”, Paula Cole with “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?”, Meredith Brooks (“Bitch”) and Jennifer Paige (“Crush”).

Joan wasn’t quite the one hit wonder as she had one other solitary UK Top 40 entry but “One Of Us” is undoubtedly her best known song. Imagining God arriving on Earth being a regular person dealing with the trials and tribulations of everyday life like riding on the bus, it was written by founding member of The Hooters (of “Satellite” fame) Eric Bazilian. Its memorable lyrics helped propel it to success but also landed Joan in hot water in some territories who objected to the lines:

What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Eric M. Bazilian
One of Us lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Now when I was listening back to this, another song immediately sprang to mind, a connection that I hadn’t thought of at the time. Anybody else getting a hint of “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” by Crash Test Dummies? Well, that connection it seems was deliberate as Bazilian admits that as he sat down to record the song’s demo, he had a voice in his head, that of Brad Roberts of the Canadian folk rockers and that the verses of “One Of Us” share a similar melody to that of “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”. Hmm (hmm hmm hmm).

The first video of the night comes from The Smashing Pumpkins who are onto their fourth UK hit single in “1979”. Another one of those bands that I probably should know much more about than I do, the bits that I do know, I quite like including this track. The video for it won the MTV Music Video Award for Best Alternative Video in 1996. What’s the significance of the year 1979? Well, songwriter and lead singer Billy Corgan says the song is about the transition from youth to adulthood and that feeling like you are on the cusp of things in your life changing and a new chapter about to happen. That’s all fine but Corgan was born in 1967 so he would have been just 12 years old in 1979, not even a teenager let alone nearly an adult so that doesn’t really work does it? By that logic, the song should have been called “1984” but then that title had already been taken by George Orwell I suppose and Eurythmics who wrote “Sexcrime (Nineteen Eighty-Four)” for the soundtrack of the film of said novel.

Writing all of this got me thinking about other songs whose titles are just years. Off the top of my head there’s “1999” by Prince, “1963” by New Order but the one I’m plumping for is this whose lyrics include the marvellous lines:

She rocked out to Wham, not a big Limo Bizkit fan

Thought she’d get her hand on a member of Duran Duran

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jaret Ray Reddick / John Lowe Kenneth Allen / Mitchell Allan Scherr
1985 lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

“We’re sailing high over the Mother Earth tonight. We’re clearly out of our trees” trills our host before introducing a band that would receive more flack and accusations of blandness than anyone since Level 42 were in their heyday. Lighthouse Family were Tunde Baiyewu and Paul Tucker who met at Newcastle University and began writing songs together one of which, “Ocean Drive”, brought them to the attention of record label Polydor. However, not impressed by the calibre of the rest of their material, the duo needed to come up with a surefire hit or risk being dropped. Enter “Lifted”, a feel good soul song that almost drifted into easy listening territory. Backed by a bundle of airplay, much was expected of the single but it stiffed at No 61 on initial release in 1995. Fortunately for the band, they still had the aforementioned “Ocean Drive” track which breached the Top 40 a few months after the failure of “Lifted” making them a bona fide chart act. With that foothold secured, a rerelease of “Lifted” seemed a sensible career move and it duly went straight into the chart at No 4 before spending a further three weeks inside the Top 10. “Ocean Drive” also received the rerelease treatment going to No 11 before the album of the same name became a huge success going on to sell 1.8 million copies in the UK.

So where did all the cries of them being bland come from and did they deserve the criticism? Well, they didn’t do much for me but there has always been a space for lowest common denominator music that appeals across the board but which offends those who consider themselves as ‘serious’ or ‘true’ music fans. I’m thinking Simply Red, Dido, Savage Garden, James Blunt etc. Certainly Lighthouse Family were never going to get high praise from the ‘inkies’ music press who were in thrall to Britpop. Even today, a quick search of the internet unearths online forum comments such as ‘Shitehouse Family’ and ‘offensively inoffensive’. Is that fair? Look, I refer you to my mate Robin who, in response to me saying to him that he couldn’t just state that he hates every single song Elton John has ever recorded, replied “Yes I can. I thought you knew that music taste is subjective”. It’s a fair point. If you like Lighthouse Family then good luck to you.

East 17 were a hit making factory to rival Stock Aitken & Waterman in the mid 90s. “Do U Still?” was their 13th consecutive UK chart hit of which nine went Top 10. They had a formula and it worked for quite some time. ‘If it wasn’t broken, why fix it?’ was their motto to the point that by 1996, they were just rewriting previous hits. This one was almost a replica of their 1993 hit “Deep” which was a great record but three years in, shouldn’t the band have been doing more than just retreading the same water? Well, the record buying public disagreed with me as they often did and sent it to No 7. They still had another four UK chart hits in them of which three went Top 3 so clearly the band weren’t quite done yet but was there more gravitas than we realised at the time to their lyrics to this one of “Do you still love me…do you still need me…do you still want me?”.

With the then current No 1 being propelled by a TV advert, was there room for another such generated hit? Well, yes there was as the Levi’s campaign wasn’t the only one to employ a song that would capture the public’s imagination. The Coca Cola TV advertisements had been hugely successful in not just promoting their brand but making hit records of the music that soundtracked them stretching back to 1971 when the New Seekers took “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing”* to No 1.

* A Britpop obsessed UK would make a hit out of this song when covered by Oasis cover band No Way Sis in 1996.

Seventeen years later, the unknown Robin Beck also hit the top spot with “First Time” after providing the music for a Coca Cola campaign. Come 1996 and it was a revitalised song from the 60s that slinked its way up the charts in the form of “I Just Want To Make Love To You” by soul singer Etta James. I, for one, didn’t know anything about Etta but I’d certainly seen the advert her song soundtracked. The construction worker who takes his shirt off while having a diet coke break under the gaze of the swooning female office staff? Sure you know it. This one…

Anyway, the success of the song meant an appearance on the UK’s premier music show was required so we get a satellite link from San Diego where Etta and her band are ready to go with an idyllic setting of the ocean behind them. Unfortunately, the wind that day was pretty strong and it makes for an uncomfortable experience for the performers and watching TV audience. You can actually hear the wind swirling about them and see the fringes on their leather jackets tossing around. Just when you’re thinking that this is all a bit odd, the cringe factor is turned up to ten when two guys in sailor outfits stroll onto the set in a blatant attempt to recreate the vibe of the Cola advert. Gulp!

Doubling down on the awful satellite performances, 3T (as opposed to BT earlier) are up next from Malibu Beach to mime their hit “Anything”. Presumably they’d closed down a part of the beach to film this as it appears deserted which gives the whole thing an eerie feel. It’s not helped by the weird camera angles focussing on the driftwood. In fact, it puts me in mind of the iconic finale of the original Planet Of The Apes film when astronaut Taylor sees the Statue of Liberty and realises he’s been on Earth the whole time. All that’s missing is for one of 3T to drop to his knees and scream “You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to Hell!”. The closest they get is when the one with the backpack (maybe he’s got their packed lunches in there) flings it to the ground at the song’s climax. I hope he didn’t have any cans of coke in there; they’ll make a right mess when he opens them.

After what seems like a lifetime spent away from the studio after those back to back satellite performances, we’re within its confines again with, for me, easily the best song on the show tonight. After a run of six consecutive chart hits that all peaked tantalising just outside the Top 20, Terrorvision would break their huge hit duck and how when “Perseverance” careered into the Top 5 in week one. I think it’s fair to say that these West Yorkshire guys weren’t your standard rock outfit with brass parts and almost doo wop vocals incorporated into their songs. After trialling their style in their early work, “Perseverance” was when it properly all came together for me (a bit like with Shed Seven the other week). Some great hooks allied with that memorable lyric about the ‘whales and dolphins’ made this their best tune yet and would also be their biggest hit until “Tequila” made it to No 2 three years later. The fact that it was in and out of the Top 40 inside three weeks just reflected the changing chart life of new release singles and how big the band’s fan base had become. Indeed, the album the “Perseverance” trailed – “Regular Urban Survivors” – would become their highest charting collection when it peaked at No 8 and it would provide the band with a further three hit singles during the calendar year. We might well be seeing more of Terrorvision in these 1996 TOTP repeats.

It kind of seems appropriate that Julian Cope finishes his hosting stint by introducing a song called “Spaceman” at No 1. As the man himself says “It is cosmically correct that this is No 1 so I get to introduce it”. Yep, it’s another week at the top for Babylon Zoo. Despite being seen very much as a one hit wonder (which they’re not), it’s overlooked that their album “The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes” actually sold pretty well placing at No 6 in the charts and shifting 100,000 copies in the UK alone. Some (though not all) of its reviews in the music press were even favourable but history has not been kind with it routinely turning up in lists of the worst albums ever made. If punters were disappointed when they heard “Spaceman” in full for the first time, what were the reactions like of people that bought the album on the strength of the single? The only albums that fall into a similar category that I can think of are “Laughing At The Pieces” by Doctor And The Medics which promised much with the success of “Spirit In The Sky” but delivered very little and Sigue Sigue Sputnik’s “Flaunt It” which arrived in a blaze of publicity following theLove Missile F1-11” single and was meant to be the future of rock ‘n’ roll but very much wasn’t. Unlike the Sputniks, at least Babylon Zoo had some self knowledge by calling their 1999 comeback single “All The Money’s Gone”.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1BTLoving You MoreOf course not
2Joan OsborneOne Of UsNegative
3The Smashing Pumpkins1979I did not
4Lighthouse FamilyLiftedNo
5East 17Do U Still?Nope
6Etta JamesI Just Want To Make Love To YouNah
73T AnythingNever
8TerrorvisonPerseveranceLiked it, didn’t buy it
9Babylon ZooSpacemanI am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001z96z/top-of-the-pops-08021996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 25 JAN 1996

Oh God! As The Boo Radleys once sang…”It’s Lulu”. Yes, the diminutive Scottish singer has been handed the ‘golden mic’ presenter slot this time around. I can’t really be doing with Lulu – firstly I can’t stand her most famous hit “Shout” and secondly, she just doesn’t seem like a nice person. I’m not the only one with this opinion – the late Dale Winton once said of her whilst hosting music panel show Never Mind The Buzzcocks that he would “gladly dance on her grave”. Ouch!

Anyway, let’s not obsess about Lulu and turn our attention to the music and we begin with another band who were very much associated with the Britpop movement. They seem to be coming thick and fast now don’t they? Shed Seven (for it is them) were about to have the best year of their career. Their five UK Top 40 hits in 1996 were more than any other artist in that calendar twelve months. Yes, things were certainly “Getting Better” (sorry!) for the lads from York as this single became their highest charting at the time when it peaked at No 14. Taken from sophomore album “A Maximum High” (which went Top 10 and is their biggest selling studio album), this was the sound of a band really hitting their stride. I’d not really got wholly on board with their early stuff but “Getting Better” was a belter. It sounded like they’d really tightened up their sound and decided on a defiantly more commercial style which was about to pay off. They would follow this up with the equally good “Going For Gold” and round the year off with possibly one of their most well known hits “Chasing Rainbows”. If that sounds like this post is so far just a list of Shed 7 songs, well, let’s just say I’m not the only one to have done that. Look at this from @TOTPFacts…

Coincidence my arse! The article says the guy used to be a regional manager for Our Price (for whom I worked in the 90s) so that only makes it more likely that he knew what he was doing. Anyway, my own personal go to memory of this song is when the BBC used it to soundtrack a clip for the Euro 96 football tournament. After an indifferent start, the England team had beaten Scotland and thumped Holland to qualify for the knockout stages and the Beeb used “Getting Better” as the music for a montage of England goals. As England progressed to the semi-finals, they then used the aforementioned “Going For Gold” to promote their coverage of the match. There was definitely a Shed 7 fan working for BBC Sport back then!

Now I absolutely remember “Whole Lotta Love” by Goldbug and thinking it was wild at the time but listening back to it some 28 years later, it sounds like a bit of a mess. Reworking the famous Led Zeppelin tune to incorporate the Pearl & Dean cinema music (pa-pa per pa per pa pa-pa pa per pa) might have seems like a good idea at the time but it doesn’t hold much water in retrospect. Released on the achingly trendy Acid Jazz label, the single was championed by Radio 1 DJ Chris Evans (makes a change from Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo) and went straight into the chart at No 3.

I’m not saying anything very profound nor insightful by stating that Led Zeppelin weren’t keen on releasing singles in the UK and “Whole Lotta Love” was another case in point. Despite being hugely well known thanks to the instrumental version by CCS that was used as the theme to TOTP for years during the 70s, it didn’t get a release in this country despite being a hit just about everywhere else. As I’ve said before, I never got the boat to Led Zep island and so my knowledge of their catalogue is paper thin but even I can appreciate the rock majesty of “Whole Lotta Love”. The Goldbug version though? Let’s just say it makes the Far Corporation’s take on “Stairway To Heaven” seem celestial by comparison. All those people on stage during this performance just seemed to add to the chaos. Goldbug would release just one further single which barely scraped into the Top 100 before the group split up amongst a dispute with Acid Jazz over unpaid royalties.

Back in 1993, with “All That She Wants” topping our charts, I reckon you’d have got very long odds on Ace Of Base still having hits three years later but here they were with their seventh such smash “Beautiful Life”. Now, if you’re wondering what the story behind this tune is (and I know you are!), here’s @TOTPFacts…

Hmm. OK. I get that your muse could appear to you watching a beautiful sunset whilst in the Canary Islands but then inspiration gives rise to that song?! Not a beautiful ballad or feel good anthem but a nasty, Eurodance track?! Nah, come on! You came up with a song that sounds like a prototype for “Barbie Girl”. Let’s move on…very quickly…

…to The Saw Doctors. What an anachronism this lot were. A good time Irish rock band in a UK chart of the mid 90s informed by a record buying public obsessed with dance music and Britpop? That was never going to fly. But it did somehow. Lulu seemed very enthused by the whole prospect of them being on the show and even adopts an Irish accent in support of them.

So how do we account for this single – “World Of Good” – becoming a No 15 hit and securing the band a slot on TOTP? Was it just a natural extension of a loyal fan base garnered by their reputation as a great live band? Surely it can’t have been off the back of a very long tail of popularity for The Commitments project? They were all the rage years before this. Mind you, the guitarist with the glasses does have a look of the piano player in the film. Maybe it was a simple as the song being a pretty good tune? No, I’m being naive. Since when has a song being good guaranteed it being a chart hit? Whatever the reason, The Saw Doctors would repeat the feat when their next single peaked at No 14 but they would return to the UK Top 40 just once more in 2002. It was a different story in the Irish charts though in which the band continued to have massive hits – three No 1s including the biggest selling Irish single ever “I Useta Lover” – way into the new millennium. They are still a going concern despite numerous line up changes though mainly as a touring band rather than a recording artist.

The 90s was a boom time for boy bands. They were everywhere beginning with America’s New Kids On The Block through to our own Take That and onto those nice Irish lads Boyzone and Westlife. They were some of the Champions League names but, looking lower down the table, there were some more mid ones as well such as 911, Let Loose and 5ive. Down in the relegation places were the likes of OTT, Gemini and the execrable Bad Boys Inc. Most of those bands were put together deliberately to appeal to the young female market, sometimes quite cynically and more often than not it seemed by Louis Walsh. However, in a league of their own when it came to manufactured boy bands were Upside Down. Put together by independent record label World Records (who, it would transpire, weren’t exactly the ‘global’ player their name suggested when they subsequently went bankrupt), this quartet looked like being yet another failed group when their debut single “Change Your Mind” only scraped into the Top 40 at No 35. The came the story of how they came into existence as told by the BBC documentary series Inside Story. Detailing the audition and selection process and the marketing strategy for such a group was compelling viewing and I did indeed watch the programme. It also exposed the utter cynicism and manipulation at the heart of the music business. In short, Upside Down were the antithesis of the likes of The Saw Doctors whose own origins were so organic you’d expect them to be on display in an aisle at Sainsbury’s.

The four band members were picked from 8,000 hopefuls and apart from the lead singer, didn’t seem like anyone you’d look twice at in the street but then I wasn’t the project’s target audience. The short guy I recall was interviewed about the prospect of pop stardom and him saying something like “If there’s any fans out there for me, I’ll find them” which sounded vaguely threatening! As for their song, it was clearly a rip off of “Careless Whisper” and was originally meant to be Bad Boys Inc’s next single until they were dropped by their label but, with the exposure that followed the broadcast of the documentary, would ultimately rise to No 11. Three more Top 40 hits followed (including a cover of Chicago’s “If You Leave Me Now”) before World Records went bankrupt and Upside Down regrouped and relaunched with the worst band name ever Orange Orange. Inevitably, they flopped and split.

Around this time, I was pondering on the idea of arranging a personal appearance by an artist at the Our Price store where I worked to try and raise our profile (there was a HMV in the same precinct). I even went as far as speaking to someone at Head Office about my plan and asked about the possibility of getting Upside Down to come to the store. I was told very politely by the lady in marketing that “I think they’re very busy at the moment” meaning “You’ve no chance mate”. Some of my female work colleagues had got very excited about the prospect of being in close proximity to the lead singer of Upside Down, the other guys in the group not so much though.

OK. This is very strange. Just seven days ago, we had the video for Coolio’s new single “Too Hot” on the show which had debuted inside the Top 10 in its first week on the chart. Despite that exposure, it fell ten places to No 19. As such, there was no way it would be on the programme again this week. However, that didn’t mean Coolio wouldn’t be on the show as we got a repeat of him in the TOTP studio performing “Gangsta’s Paradise”! As Lulu said in her intro, the single had been on the charts for fourteen weeks by this point and was no longer No 1 so what gives? Well, in this week, it actually moved up the chart from No 18 to No 11 so the TOTP producers could make a case that its reappearance was legitimate but come on! Surely there was another track inside the Top 40 they could have showcased instead?

*scans that week’s Top 40*

Erm…well…it was actually pretty slim pickings. Most of the new entries were indeed featured on the show. Due to the fast moving nature of the charts back then with singles entering high in the first week and then falling away dramatically the following week (as Coolio had done), there weren’t that many records actually climbing the charts. These were the only artists that were also new entries that week which didn’t make the cut:

  • Culture Beat (No 32)
  • Xscape (No 31)
  • Meatloaf (No 23)
  • Chemical Brothers (No 13)

I think you could make a case for Chemical Brothers though could you not?

Oh now this is a tune! “Weak” by Skunk Anansie almost rips your ears off. That chorus! That vocal! Unfairly and inaccurately lumped in with the Britpop crowd – they were more Britrock* if anything – Skunk Anansie were fronted by the magnificent Skin with her striking look and stunning voice.

*Skin described their sound as “clit-rock”!

Deceptively simple in its construction around just three chords, it veritably exploded when the chorus was reached, so powerful was it. Why this didn’t get beyond No 20 in the charts is beyond me. As much as I liked “Weak” however, I have to admit to not following through on my initial interest with Skunk Anansie. More and bigger hits came in “Weak”’s wake but I can’t say I recall that many of them. My potential familiarity with their canon of work wasn’t helped by their second album “Stoosh” needing a parental guidance sticker because of some of its lyrics meaning we couldn’t play it on the shop stereo despite at least one of my colleagues really wanting to hear it. Still, that didn’t affect the band’s sales – they spent 142 weeks on the singles and album charts up to 2003 and have sold five million records.

Is it that time already? Not my teatime but 3T-time! Yes, the offspring of Tito Jackson (Taj, TJ and Taryll – see what they did there?) were amongst us in 1996 to the tune of four hit singles and a gold selling album. With their uncle Michael having huge success at this time, it was impossible to avoid the family connection being mentioned. Did it go as far as accusations of nepotism? Well, Jacko did sign them to his record label MJJ Music, mentored them and even appeared with them on one of their hits. Yeah, it’s hardly paying your dues playing the pub and club circuit is it?

“Anything” was their debut single and what a drippy ballad it was – wetter than Rishi Sunak’s suit the other day. There were no suits on display in this performance though as all three were wearing baggy shirts and what look like pyjama bottoms. And what on earth was the rucksack accessory all about and why did he take it off and fling it to the floor at the song’s climax? Was he trying to beef up their image or the song’s sound? Actually, the optics on Sunak’s General Election announcement could only have been worse if he’d taken his soaking wet suit jacket off and thrown it down in anger.

After selling half a million copies in one week*, Babylon Zoo are unsurprisingly No 1. “Spaceman” would go on to sell 1.15 million copies in total and no, I don’t know how many of those were returned to shops under the trades description act after people got past the first 20 seconds or so. To be fair, although a lot is made about how the song didn’t sound like it did on the Levi’s advert, it’s maybe a misconception that everyone who bought it felt cheated. Given those huge numbers and its exposure on radio and indeed TOTP, a lot of people must have actually liked the way it sounded all the way through.

*According to Lulu and the TOTP caption though Wikipedia says 383,000

Has it stood the test of time? I’d have to say no and that it was very much an ‘in the moment’ hit. Certainly Babylon Zoo themselves (or more correctly Jas Mann) hardly left a legacy of work behind after the fame of that hit finally faded. I wonder how many people who bought it would admit to it today?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Shed SevenGetting BetterNot the single but I must have it on something surely?
2GoldbugWhile Lotta LoveNah
3Ace Of BaseBeautiful LifeNever
4The Saw DoctorsWorld Of GoodNope
5Upside DownChange Your MindAs if
6CoolioGangsta’s ParadiseNo
7Skunk AnansieWeakNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations I think
83TAnythingNot likely
9Babylon ZooSpacemanI am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001z1vp/top-of-the-pops-25011996?seriesId=unsliced