All 4 One

TOTP 29 JUN 1995

Posted on by 80stastic

We arrived at an unusual episode of TOTP whereby the executive producer Ric Blaxill incorporated what might now be called a ‘heritage’ slot into the show but which I’m sure wouldn’t have been labelled as such at the time. Host Mark Goodier refers to it only using the generic, catch all term of ‘exclusive’ which is the description that was used for just about any non standard performance on the show around this time. The band featured in this slot are pretty special though and retain a huge legacy – it’s only the bloody Ramones!

All in good time though and we start with the antithesis of the legendary punk rockers with one of the worst examples of naff dance music that the 90s spewed forth. Clock (even their name was terrible) followed the classic Eurodance blueprint of a female singer and male rapper even though they were actually from Manchester as opposed to Holland or Germany like many of the acts of that genre. Where they did divert from the template was in their decision to pursue chart hits via that well trodden route of the cover version. After a couple of minor hits with their own compositions in 1994, they went Top 10 with a cover of Harold Faltermeyer’s “Axel F” and that success convinced them to carry on in that direction. Next up was their version of Tag Team’s 1994 No 34 hit “Whoomph! (There It Is)”. Now this track has quite the backstory which I’ve already discussed in the post covering the TOTP featuring Tag Team so I don’t propose to go over all that again. What I will say is that when Clock first started releasing singles and I wasn’t aware of who they were despite working in a record shop, when I was asked about them by a customer I presumed they were asking about Clock DVA, the experimental industrial pioneers from Sheffield who formed in 1978 and were contemporaries of Cabaret Voltaire. I might as well have been talking a different language trying to explain Clock DVA to the young punter who just wanted to buy his favourite Eurodance tune.

Depressingly, we’ll be seeing lots more of Clock in these TOTP repeats as they went on to (ahem) clock up a further nine UK Top 40 hits throughout the 90s including covers of “December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)”* by the Four Seasons, “You Sexy Thing”* by Hot Chocolate and “Blame It On The Boogie” by The Jacksons. You lucky people!

*They truncated the titles to differentiate them from the originals though.

I think my patience with Jamiroquai wasn’t so much wearing thin by this point as had completely perished to reveal an embarrassing hole in its pants. To my ears, everything single they’d released by this point sounded the same as the one before. “Stillness In Time” was a case in point. It meanders along with the promise of breaking into this really cool groove but never actually goes anywhere. Do you think Jay Kay, when laying down these tracks, would say to himself “Yes! We really nailed it there!”? And yet, this single entered the chart at the highest position (No 9) the band had ever achieved so maybe it was me that was out of step with public opinion? The performance here is sooo muso – there’s even a man wearing an oversized poncho for Chrissakes! Nah, not for me thanks.

And now…a single that has gone down in the annals of time as one of the very worst ever laid down in a recording studio from an album that Q Magazine decreed as the worst of all time in a 2006 poll. It is now received knowledge that Duran Duran made the biggest career misstep ever by releasing their covers album “Thank You” as the follow up to 1993’s career reviving “The Wedding Album” but is that a fair take on the reviled collection of songs? I mean, Lou Reed said that their version of “Perfect Day” was the best cover ever of one of his songs. Indeed, “Thank You” wasn’t even the commercial catastrophe we might have expected from the worst album ever – it made No 12 in the UK album charts and sold half a million copies in the US. So what’s the deal with it?

I think the answer lies in the track listing and the songs the band chose to cover. Some of them were seen as sacrosanct and untouchable and certainly by some faded 80s pin up pop stars. How dare Duran Duran take on the back catalogues of Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Elvis Costello etc! The ultimate act of heresy though appears to be their decision to cover Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke” and Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel’s “White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)”. The latter was released as the second single from the album and like Clock earlier, they changed the title slightly to “White Lines (Don’t Do It)”.

So it’s cards on the table time – I don’t mind the Duran Duran version. I think it’s alright in the same way that I thought Gun’s rocked up cover of “Word Up” by Cameo was OK. Is it better than or even as good as the original? No, I don’t think so but that doesn’t make it utter shite by default. I even think the black and white video works and adds something to the track. What didn’t work though was the album’s standing both critically and within the band’s own oeuvre of work. In fact it derailed them. A follow up album (“Medazzaland”) wasn’t released in the UK and by the end of the decade, the band had lost both their record label Capitol / EMI and bass player and founding member John Taylor. They would not have another hit album until 2004 when the original line up reformed to record “Astronaut”. And yet…I wonder if it’s time for “Thank You” to be revisited and reappraised. There are surely worse albums out there. Surely?

Who remembers All–4–One? “I Swear” yeah? Sure. Great. Who remembers their other hit though? Not so many hands up now are there? Well, they did have one and it was called “I Can Love You Like That” and remarkably, just like “I Swear” before it, this was a song originally recorded by country singer John Michael Montgomery. I guess if it had worked once, why wouldn’t it work again? And it did, in America at least where it was a No 5 hit. Over here though, we decided that one huge song from All-4-One was quite enough thank you very much and it struggled to a high of No 33 despite this live TOTP performance (which I can’t find a clip of by the way). The group would never return to our charts though they are still together to this day and last released an album in 2016.

Heeeere’s Edwyn! Yes, the rather fabulous Edwyn Collins is back on the show to perform his brilliant but surprising hit “A Girl Like You”. Edwyn, of course, started his musical career as the lead singer of Orange Juice who criminally only had one UK Top 40 hit. However, alongside the likes of The Adventures, Icicle Works and It Bites, they really should have had more. “Flesh Of My Flesh”, “Lean Period” and “What Presence?!” were all great singles that were habitually ignored by the record buying public. Their back catalogue has been revisited retrospectively though including a six CD box set called “Coals To Newcastle” and a compilation called “The Glasgow School” the latter of which featured a cover of “I Don’t Care” by The Ramones. I’m guessing then that Edwyn would have been stoked to be on the same show as the Queens punk rockers. Except he wasn’t. The clip shown here was just a repeat of an earlier performance from a couple of weeks before. Bloody scheduling! Rip it up!

We now turn our attention to Menswear and I don’t mean that awful tank top that host Mark Goodier is wearing. It looks like an off cut of the rug in my dining room. No, I mean the poster boys of Britpop – they even had a Levi’s modelling contract – who are experiencing their first chart hit in “Daydreamer”.

More than perhaps any other artist of this era, Menswear’s is a cautionary tale of running before you can walk, going too far too soon and all those other advisory idioms. Being lauded by the press and courted by record labels whilst only having four songs inevitably led to egos bigger than their talent and it would all end in tales of drug abuse, mental health issues, a sacked drummer and a massively over budget sophomore album that only got a release in a Menswear obsessed Japan. Back in June 1995 though, the band looked like they had the world at their feet. A distinctive, Roxy Music infused single and a frontman in the modish, angular Johnny Dean who had perfected the art of looking right down the camera lens long before ex-Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg did it at the 2010 General Election live TV debates. God, even that is now 13 years ago! Oh to be young and watching Menswear on TOTP again!

Boo! Rubbish! Get off! It’s The Outhere Brothers again whom I referred to as “those two pricks” in a previous post. By way of contrast, Mark Goodier calls them “those naughty boys”. Yeah, I stand indubitably by my comment mate. Their single “Boom Boom Boom” is up to No 2 on its way to the top of the charts where it will stay for four weeks. It came from an album called “1 Polish, 2 Biscuits & A Fish Sandwich” which were not that subtle references to the penis, buttocks and vagina. They went on to release a Best Of album in 2002 called “The Fucking Hits”. It’s not big and it’s not clever is it? Like I said, pricks.

And so to the Ramones. Now I wouldn’t describe myself as a super fan but I certainly can appreciate the influence that the band had despite little in the way of commercial success. Their hi-speed, pop-punk sound would mobilise a generation of bands and shape their futures in a way that they surely couldn’t have predicted. That said, would the pop kids of 1995 have known or cared who the Ramones were? Maybe they did. Or maybe it was just that executive producer Ric Blaxill was a fan and wanted to get them on the show. I don’t know. On the show they were though and they were there to plug their fourteenth and final studio album “Adios Amigos” of which “I Don’t Want To Grow Up” was the lead single. Now, I already knew this Tom Waits song as my wife is a fan and had the “Bone Machine” album it’s taken from. It’s a great track, all raggedy, shuffling and shambolic but also captivating.

This version by the Ramones is pretty good too and the fact that the tempo of it can be ramped up so much shows the quality of the song. You could be forgiven for thinking it was a Ramones original.

Given the trademark brevity of the Ramones’ material, there’s time for another song from them so we get an album track called “Cretin Family” from them. Mark Goodier’s attempt at looking genuinely surprised that there was more doesn’t convince anyone. He must have known – there’s even a caption on screen that says ‘Yes more!’. It’s sobering to think that Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee and Tommy are now all no longer with us.

From the Ramones to Robson & Jerome. That’s quite a leap! The duo are still at No 1 with “Unchained Melody” for a seventh and final week. When the dust finally settled, it would have spent 14 weeks in the Top 40 and 25 inside the Top 100. That’s just under half a year! Just as it finally dropped out of the charts, their follow up “I Believe / Up On The Roof” went straight in at No 1. 1995 – what a time to be alive!

The play out track is “This Is A Call” by Foo Fighters. I have a history of missing out on bands that I really should have been into and Dave Grohl’s post Nirvana vehicle was another to add to the list. I think because I’d never really got Nirvana either (although clearly “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is a monster tune), my musical antenna weren’t pointing in the Foo Fighters direction in the first place. That said, “This Is A Call” is a banger so why it didn’t lead me to investigate more of their stuff at the time I don’t know. Still, it’s much easier these days to explore music unknown to you what with the likes of Spotify and all so I really have no excuse. I’ve got until their next appearance in these TOTP repeats to report back…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1ClockWhoomph! (There It Is)As if
2JamiroquaiStillness In TimeNo
3Duran DuranWhite Lines (Don’t Do It)Didn’t mind it, didn’t buy it
4All-4-OneI Can Love You Like ThatNope
5Edwyn CollinsA Girl Like YouLiked it, didn’t buy it
6MenswearDaydreamerI did not
7The Outhere BrothersBoom Boom BoomHell no!
8RamonesI Don’t Want To Grow Up / Cretin FamilyNegative
9Robson & JeromeUnchained MelodyOf course not
10Foo FightersThis Is A CallNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001sx1h/top-of-the-pops-29061995

TOTP 28 JUL 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

It’s back to the regular presenters this week after the distraction of Julian Clary last time out and it’s the revitalised Bruno Brookes in the chair who I’m starting to have a sneaking regard for second time around. I couldn’t stand the bloke in the 80s but 90s Bruno seems more likeable somehow. Maybe it’s just that he isn’t Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo who has been more irritating than dandruff in these TOTP repeats. Maybe I should take the advice of that Hammerstein and Rodgers tune and “Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair”. Well, I’ve got just the thing in the first act on tonight – it’s Shampoo! Don’t worry, I’ll be getting me coat later.

Anyway, I said in the last post I’d take a deeper dive into the story of Jacqui Blake and Carrie Askew so here goes…Like most of us I’m guessing, I wasn’t aware of Shampoo until this hit “Trouble” made the charts but they had already released two singles before that which had received encouraging reviews in the music press but didn’t…ahem…’trouble’ the chart compilers. I found them both on YouTube (they don’t seem to be on Spotify) and they’re definitely spiky of attitude but low on production values. Wikipedia describes them as being typical of the ‘riot grrrl’ movement – I’m not sure I know enough about that particular subculture to make any judgement on that statement but I always thought that bands associated with that scene were a bit more hardcore than our two girls from Plumstead.

Regardless, “Blisters And Bruises” and “Bouffant Headbutt” brought them to the attention of Blur’s record label Food and resulted in the release of the much more radio friendly “Trouble”. The tale of two party girls who’d stayed out too late and missed the night bus home, it was, depending on your point of view, a breath of fresh air to liven up a stagnant chart or just plain dumb. I think I was in the former camp. On reflection though, hadn’t we seen this all before. Whilst there were comparisons made with the bubblegum rock of Transvision Vamp and even the post-punk of The Slits, the most glaringly obvious example was Fuzzbox. An all-girl band with a punk look who released some edgy material on an independent label before being picked up by a major who polished up their sound, image and even their name and turning them into bona fide pop stars. It’s a valid comparison I think.

“Trouble” would rise to No 11 and saw Jacqui and Carrie on the front cover of Smash Hits. Somehow they seemed to have successfully trodden a path between credibility and commerciality. An album (“We Are Shampoo”) duly followed but that’s where the spell appeared to break. Despite doing well in Japan, it stiffed in the UK only making No 45 on the charts. It did furnish two more minor hit singles but “Trouble” would be their defining song, its profile raised by being included on the soundtrack to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers film causing the single to be re-released in 1995 (it made No 36).

Jacqui and Carrie do a pretty good job of selling the song in this performance with the former pioneering the schoolgirl look well before Britney Spears came along. I watched this TOTP with my wife in the room and she said “Trouble” sounded like something from Horrid Henry. She might have a point.

It’s those EYC berks again next. How was it possible that these US boy band lightweights managed to get six UK Top 40 hits? I’ll tell you how – because the charts were completely bonkers when it came to any sort of identity. Just in this week alone you had the following artists all rubbing shoulders with each other:

  • The Prodigy
  • Mariah Carey
  • Michael Ball
  • PJ & Duncan
  • Galliano
  • The Three Tenors
  • The Jesus and Mary Chain
  • Kate Bush and Larry Adler

Pick the bones out of that lot! Not included on that list were our own boy bands in the shape of Take That and Bad Boys Inc which you might have thought fulfilled the boy band quota for one week but no, there was still room for one more and so EYC gladly took that spot. “Black Book” was the fourth of those aforementioned six hits and also the biggest when it peaked at No 13. EYC stood for ‘Express Yourself Clearly’ but with this track, they expressed themselves as clearly wanting to sound like Michael Jackson. Actually, let me express myself more clearly – a third rate, piss poor Michael Jackson impersonator more like. It’s bad to quote the King of Pop himself.

Not this lot again! The problem with having a stagnant chart with lots of records hanging around for ages was that it meant they warranted multiple repeat appearances on TOTP. How many times is this for All 4 One now? Three? Four? They’re showing that live by satellite performance of them walking along the beach while singing “I Swear” this week. The track stayed at No 2 for seven consecutive weeks and would end the year as the UK’s fifth best selling single outperforming a host of No 1 records by the likes of Mariah Carey, Tony Di Bart, Take That and Prince.

The track was originally recorded by country singer Jon Michael Montgomery and it actually makes more sense when done in that style to me. More of a solid song somehow as opposed to the drippy, harmonies-fest that All 4 One turn it into.

And here’s another of those songs that hung around the charts like a particularly eggy fart. Just like All 4 One before them, this must be the third or fourth time on the show for Let Loose. Also just like All 4 One, their single (“Crazy For You”) would end up in the Top 10 of the best selling singles in the UK for 1994 despite never getting to No 1 clocking in at No 8. Their guitarist seemed to still have Chesney Hawkes hair three years on. Even Chezza had given it up as a bad idea by then. Meanwhile, the drummer seemed intent on showing the watching millions that he really had perfected that trick of twirling one drumstick in the air whilst carrying on playing. And the lead singer? He looks like that annoying best looking guy at school who always had girls flirting with him whilst the rest of us spotty herberts looked on enviously. Git.

If it’s 1994 (or indeed 1993), there must be at least one reggae-infused song on the show every week (I think it was the law) so here’s one we haven’t seen before. “Compliments On Your Kiss” by Red Dragon with Brian and Tony Gold was a mouthful to say but it didn’t stop punters going up to the counter of their record shop of choice and asking for it as it would sell enough copies to go all the way to No 2.

So who were these hitmakers? Well, Red Dragon was Leroy May, a Jamaican DJ who played with a number of sound systems and recorded for King Tubby in the 80s before founding his own label and moving into production. As the 90s rolled around, he returned to recording and collaborated with Sly and Robbie who co-wrote and produced “Compliments On Your Kiss”. As for Brian and Tony Gold, they weren’t actually brothers (real names Brian Thompson and Tony Morrison) who had been working together since competing in Jamaican talent contests in the mid 80s.

Enough of their biographies though, what about the song? Well, on reflection, it sounds like it belongs to another era altogether with its gentle, lilting melody…until Mr Red Dragon himself (I’m assuming that’s him up there on stage) starts toasting and drags it into the 90s. He bangs on about some woman having a sexy body and driving him crazy (how predictable) and even gets in that “number one girl in the world” line that was so prevalent around this time. For some reason it reminds me of that song “Hello Darling” by Tippa Irie from the 80s. Similar vibe. Leroy May died in 2015 aged just 49. “Compliments On Your Kiss” was his only UK chart hit.

It’s The Three Tenors time again who are in the charts with the double A-side single “Libiamo / La Donna E Mobile”. This was of course José Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti but it always seemed that the former two were in the latter’s shadow (no size jokes please). Even Bruno Brookes refers to them as Pavarotti and pals. I guess he was a dominating figure with his frame and beard but I wonder if ‘the other two’ ever felt slighted? They look like they’re all getting on in this performance taken from the 1994 World Cup concert and was that French actor Alain Delon that the camera picks out in the audience at one point?

Oh, what a surprise a reggae/pop crossover song. After Red Dragon earlier, here’s another one from China Black. Maybe it was a legal requirement back then! Is it just me or does “Searching” sound a bit like “Don’t Turn Around” by Aswad and a cover of which was back in the charts at this time courtesy of Ace Of Base? Anyway, as the TOTP caption says, Errol was still working as a town planner while “Searching” was in the charts which got me thinking about how many other pop stars were still holding down ‘normal’ jobs simultaneously? It’s quite a hard category to pin down. There’s plenty of pop stars who had regular jobs before they were famous and also a big list of ex-chart acts who went onto to more mundane careers after the hits dried up but actually holding down a 9-5er whilst in the charts at the same time? Not so easy. One I do know of though is Haircut 100 percussionist Marc Fox who was still working as a German teacher whilst playing with the band and left some exam papers on a British Midland plane whilst flying back from a gig in Scotland.

Which duo’s had more Top 10 hits than The Everly Brothers and Pet Shop Boys? Well, Erasure according to Bruno Brookes in his intro. Was that true? Let’s do a quick bit of counting…

*Checks discographies*

No it bloody isn’t by my adding up! “Run To The Sun” was Erasure’s 14th Top 10 hit up to this point in time. The Everly Brothers had 13 but Pet Shop Boys had 15 – that’s if we’re going on UK Top 10 singles (I haven’t counted hits in every country). I hate it when the TOTP presenters make claims that are best disputed and worst just wrong. As for the song itself, I’d lost touch with Erasure by 1994 and don’t remember this one at all. but then it’s not that memorable. All a bit basic and too linear. All the typical Erasure components are there but it was starting to sound a bit too familiar by then – to me anyway. Sorry guys.

It’s nine weeks at No 1 for Wet Wet Wet and “Love Is All Around”. I’m nearly out of things to say and there’s another six weeks to go after this!

OK, how about a reference to the version that appears in Love Actually courtesy of Billy Nighy. What was Richard Curtis thinking?! Well, presumably he thought it worked for me in Four Weddings And A Funeral so I’ll just use it again except this time, as it’s a festive film, I’ll add the word ‘Christmas’ into it. Correct me if I’m wrong but plot wise, isn’t it meant to be an awful rendition of the song and therefore, the fact that it ends up as the Christmas No 1 is a comment on the nation’s bizarre buying habits come December? Mr. Blobby anyone? In that case, why was it released as an actual single in the real world? Was it to construct a perfect example of life imitating art as it did when the single made the Top 30? Or was it just an observation that the good old British public would buy any old shite if it meant getting to see some bloke waving his dick about on telly? For those who haven’t seen the film and who are confused by that last comment, the Bill Nighy character Billy Mack is a fading rock ‘n’ roll star who tries to revive his career with a Christmas record and promises in an interview with Michael Parkinson that if it gets to No 1, he’ll go naked on TV. And that’s me done for this week’s instalment of ‘Finding something to say about Love Is All Around’. Join me next week where I’ll cobble together some more…well…cobblers to say about it.

As has been the case most weeks, it seems head TOTP producer Ric Blaxill was still struggling to know what to do with the play out song section of the show as he searched for a permanent identity for it. He’d already tried showcasing newly released singles that would ultimately end up not making the Top 40 and also doing away with the section altogether by just letting the No 1 play over the credits. This week was another new idea as we got a track from an album that wasn’t released as a single. The album was “The Glory Of Gershwin” which was a tribute album featuring various artists to celebrate the 80th birthday of American harmonica player Larry Adler who was a lifelong friend of George and Ira Gershwin. The album was a massive seller going to No 2 in the charts and included contributions from perhaps what could be described as the usual suspects like Sting, Elton John and the aforementioned Kate Bush whose take on “The Man I Love” was released as a single. However, that isn’t the track that TOTP chose to go with. No, that honour went to “I Got Rhythm” by Robert Palmer even though it was never released as a single. I think Blaxill must have been a bit of a Robert fan as the super smooth singer was on the show earlier in the year with “Girl U Want” which only got as far as No 57. No complaints from me as I like a bit of Palmer now and then but his inclusion here doesn’t seem to help establish the identity of the show.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1ShampooTroubleNo
2EYCBlack bookAs if
3All 4 OneI SwearNope
4Let LooseCrazy For YouNo but my wife did
5Red Dragon with Brian and Tony GoldCompliments On Your Kiss I did not
6The Three TenorsLibiamo / La Donna E MobileNegative
7China BlackSearchingNah
8ErasureRun To The SunIt’s a no from me
9Wet Wet Wet Love Is All AroundDidn’t happen
10Robert PalmerI Got RhythmAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001l56l/top-of-the-pops-28071994

TOTP 07 JUL 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

It’s the middle of the Summer 1994 and the UK singles chart is stagnating. Of the ten songs on tonight’s TOTP, we’ve already seen seven of them on a previous show. I’m pretty sure that was nothing out of the usual though as record companies kept huge releases back for the Autumn schedules and the Christmas sales period. They probably also figured that the public was spending its money on holidays rather than CDs and cassettes. The only beneficiaries of this would be those annoying hits that the travelling hordes had heard whilst holidaying in Europe that would inevitably end up being huge sellers in the UK. 1994 was not immune to this phenomenon but we won’t get to that particular record for a while yet.

In the meantime, we start the show with a single that I think had only featured so far as the play out song a couple of shows back but was now residing in the Top 10 and so qualified for a studio appearance. I mentioned Gun in my last post when discussing my peculiar superpower for missing the zeitgeist completely and lumping my affections on the wrong horse. The Stone Roses or Gun? Well, I quite like the sound of those Scottish rockers and I’m not sure about all this ‘Madchester’ stuff…dear oh dear. Anyway, whilst King Monkey and co would release one of the most iconic debut albums of all time, Gun did have a few hits the biggest of which was their cover of Cameo’s “Word Up”. Pretty much just a straight up rock treatment of the original stone cold 1986 classic track, it still worked pretty well I thought. Nothing fancy, just a load of squealing guitar riffs where the funky Cameo bass was, a standard rock vocal instead of Larry Blackmon’s idiosyncratic voice and a Genesis “Mama” style cackle when the “W.O.R.D. UP” bit comes along. The lead singer had undergone quite the image change since the last time we saw him. Gone are his long, pony tail locks and in their place a short, spiky peroxide blonde hairdo. He also seems to have taken up the singing with your arms behind your back style which would become Liam Gallagher’s trademark. In fact, I don’t recall Liam striking that pose when Oasis made their TOTP debut on the last show. He couldn’t have copied it off the bloke from Gun surely? Maybe I was ahead of the zeitgeist for once!

One of the few new tracks on the show next and I’m guessing this was one of those dreadful holiday hits imported from Europe that I was talking about before. “Everybody Gonfi-Gon” by Italian dance outfit 2 Cowboys is just an abomination but sadly would prove not to be a one off as there was a flurry of these…how would you describe them? A techno-hoedown? A Eurodance square dance? How about pure, unadulterated shite? Where did all this start? Was it with the line dancing phenomenon driven by Billy Ray Cyrus and his “Achy Breaky Heart”? We certainly seemed to stock a load of cheap line dancing CDs on budget labels in the Our Price store where I was working (we even had to create their own section in the racks). Surely you couldn’t line dance to “Everybody Gonfi-Gon” though? Not without breaking your neck anyway. So, was it with Doop and their Charleston gimmick No 1 from earlier in the year? How about The Grid and their banjo fuelled dance sensation “Swamp Thing” that was riding high in the charts at the time? Or even Bravado and their “Harmonica Man” single? Whoever was responsible for it needed a kick in the Gonfi-Gons. This abhorrent nonsense would lead to one of the worst No 1s of the decade in 1995 when Rednex took “Cotton Eye Joe” to the top of the charts. Shocking stuff. And one final thing, what does ‘Gonfi-Gon’ even mean? I assumed it was Italian for ‘do-si-do’ but according to Google Translate it means ‘swollen swollen’. Nobs.

It’s The B–52’s next (or The B.C. 52’s if you’re being pedantic) with “(Meet) The Flintstones” from the live action film version of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon. The post-punk art rockers from Athens, Georgia are finally calling it a day this year when they play a residency in Las Vegas starting in May with their final ever show in September bringing the curtain down on nigh on half a century of adventures in American kitsch culture and bubblegum punk beats. And no I’m not sure if those are the right words to describe what they did but how would you describe their career and legacy?

To be honest, I don’t come at that question from a position of much authority nor knowledge. I was hardly aware of anything much about The B-52’s until 1986 when a re-release of “Rock Lobster” made No 12 in the UK charts and the track was played at my nightclub of choice Images On Glass (wanky name) in downtown Worcester. My ever more hip wife already had a copy of “Planet Claire” I think. Then “Love Shack” made them mainstream pop stars in 1990 (though I always hated that song) and then this…let’s face it…truly awful Flinstones single that really didn’t do their legacy justice. Apparently. they were an influence in convincing John Lennon to return to making music with the “Double Fantasy” album. That should be how they are remembered. If you really need a Hanna-Barbera cartoon theme sung by a band in your life then there’s always The Dickies…

Aswad are back in the TOTP studio again performing “Shine”. This was one of those records that refused to conform to the growing trend that would come to dominate the mid to late 90s that saw singles in and out of the charts within two to three weeks. “Shine” completely bucked this trajectory by spending twelve weeks in total on the Top 40, six of which were consecutive within the Top 10 where it made steady progress to a peak of No 5, even going back up the charts when it had fallen the week before. Maybe it was the seasonal thing I mentioned earlier because there were a few singles that hung around the charts for what seemed like the whole of this Summer – “Crazy” by Let Loose, “Swamp Thing” by The Grid and “I Swear” by All 4 One spring to mind. Or maybe the public just really liked these records?

“Shine” would be Aswad’s second biggest hit after “Don’t Turn Around” and they would only grace the UK Top 40 twice more with two minor hits one of which was a cover version of “You’re No Good” which was a big hit for The Swinging Blue Jeans amongst others. Aswad were pretty keen on cover versions in their later career. The aforementioned “Don’t Turn Around” was a cover of a Tina Turner B-side and they also did a version of Ace’s “How Long” with Yazz. They also took part in a reggae tribute album to The Police recording their take on “Roxanne” which Sting must have liked as he subsequently teamed up with them for a version of “Invisible Sun”. I’ve listened to it so you don’t have to and it doesn’t do anything for either artist’s credibility or legacy. It certainly doesn’t ‘shine’ but then what do you expect from an ‘invisible sun’?

Here’s yet another song we’ve already seen courtesy of Elton John with “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”. Apparently, this was the most played song on radio and TV in the US in 1994. Want to take a guess at who held that position in the UK? Yes, Wet Wet Wet’s version of “Love Is All Around” of course. DJs just couldn’t resist sticking it to us despite the fact that it bored everybody to death by being at No 1 for 15 weeks. Interestingly, the rest of the Top 5 airplay hits of this year included three that were all in the charts around this time – Let Loose, Big Mountain and the afore discussed Aswad. Presumably all that exposure goes some way to explaining their chart longevity. The only one that really surprised me was the second most played record which was “Seven Seconds” by Neneh Cherry and Youssou N’Dour but then it was a huge hit around Europe including here where it peaked at No 3 spending four and a half months on the Top 40 and six weeks inside the Top 10.

I sometimes wonder if The Pretenders get the credit they deserve. Their back catalogue is full of good tunes and in Chrissie Hynde, they have a charismatic lead singer with a unique voice. Their chart stats stand up to scrutiny – 13 UK Top 40 singles of which 5 made the Top 10 plus, of course, a chart topper in “Brass In Pocket” (the first new No 1 single of the 80s). It strikes me though that they never really get talked about as one of the great rock/pop bands. Yes, their eponymous debut album regularly appears in Best Of polls and Hynde was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2005 but do you hear their music much on the radio these days? Sure, “2000 Miles” gets airplay every Christmas and “I’ll Stand By You” gets a spin every now and again. I guess you’ll hear “Brass In Pocket” on one of those 80s themed radio stations. It doesn’t seem like much though. Clearly, I haven’t done any statistical breakdown of this theory (it’s all just based on my own perception) so I’m at risk of being shot down in flames but I’m pretty damn sure that this hit – “Night In My Veins” – you will not hear on any station any time soon. And that’s a shame as it’s a good song. The almost forgotten follow up to the aforementioned “I’ll Stand By You”, it’s a nice slice of melodic rock that should have got higher than No 25.

Chrissie looks cool as in leather trousers and high heels in this performance but sadly I fear this might be their last ever appearance on the show as they only had one subsequent Top 40 hit when “Human” got to a lowly No 33 in 1999. They have continued to release new material though with their last album “Hate For Sale” released as recently as 2020.

And yet another song that was huge over the Summer of 1994. I’m pretty sure this is the third time for All 4 One with “I Swear” on the show so to shake things up, they’ve gone for a live by satellite set up from Malibu as opposed to the two previous TOTP studio performances.

This optics in this with the four members of the group walking along the beach with microphones in hand looks completely mad. They’re fooling nobody. Was it to try and keep in line with the show’s live vocal policy? They’re surely miming?! I’ve not seen anything so unconvincing since Jason Donovan wandered along that mountain range strumming his unpowered electric guitar in the video for “Too Many Broken Hearts”! They should have just embraced the completely ludicrous nature of this and gone full New Order on Venice Beach, California performing “Regret” in the company of the cast of Baywatch, David Hasselhoff and all.

Hold the front page! Take That release a single that doesn’t go straight to No 1! Yes, after four consecutive chart toppers, the lads have to settle for the relative failure of a No 3 hit in “Love Ain’t Here Anymore”. Now you could make a reasonable case for this outcome as being down to the song being the sixth single released from their “Everything Changes” album (who did they think they were, Michael Jackson?). However, it is my firm belief that it missed the top spot on account of it not being very good. A big, sloppy ballad deliberately written to make their teenage female fans swoon, it’s basically a rewrite of “A Million Love Songs” but with some awful lyrical rhymes. I mean “It’s gone away to a town called yesterday”? Please.

Two questions about this performance occur to me. What the hell are they wearing and what on earth was that squeal that Gary Barlow let out at the song’s…erm…climax?! Might be a poor choice of word that on reflection.

Wet Wet Wet clearly disagree with Take That’s assertion that “Love Ain’t Here Anymore” as they are still No 1 with “Love Is All Around”. As with All 4 One earlier, the TOTP producers have tried to alleviate the monotony of a persistent chart botherer by getting in a guest presenter just to introduce this one song. Consequently, alongside regular host Mark Goodier, appears Reg Presley on his shoulder. Reg, of course, was the guy who wrote “Love Is All Around” back in 1967 for The Troggs. He does a nice little turn as well, not fluffing his lines and seemingly well chuffed to be back on TOTP. If you listen carefully, as the camera cuts away to Wet Wet Wet, you can hear Goodier call Presley a star to which Reg replies “Thanks”. Obviously, he’s also on the show to plug a Troggs Greatest Hits album that has been released in the wake of the success of the Wets’ cover version but let’s ignore that.

Marti Pellow, alongside his two guitarists, look like they belong in 1967 and its Summer of Love that Reg references in his intro with their hippy length hair. I recall a headline on the front cover of Smash Hits when they first started growing their hair that said “Och aye Jock McKay, look at the state of the Wets!”. Not sure that would be allowed these days. Sadly, Reg Presley died from lung cancer in 2013 aged 71.

The play out song is another cover version but an unlikely and rather heinous one – “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Abigail anyone? What? Sorry…who?! Well, her full name is Abigail Zsiga who, despite the exotic name, hailed from Warrington and she supplied the vocals for a minor hit called “I Feel You” by Love Decade in 1992 (no me neither). After that, she carved out a rather niche career of recording Hi-NRG versions of popular songs including k.d. lang’s “Constant Craving”, REM’s “Losing My Religion” and this Nirvana classic. It’s all rather nasty but at least you can hear far more clearly what the actual lyrics were as opposed to the original. It’s not much of an endorsement though is it?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1GunWord UpLiked it, didn’t buy it
22 CowboysEverybody Gonfi-GonAs if
3The B-52s(Meet) The FlintstonesNope
4AswadShineNo
5Elton JohnCan You Feel The Love TonightI did not
6The PretendersNight In My VeinsIt’s a no from me
7All 4 OneI SwearNo chance
8Take ThatLove Ain’t Here AnymoreNah
9Wet Wet WetLove Is All AroundAnd no
10AbigailSmells Like Teen SpiritCertainly not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001kyvr/top-of-the-pops-07071994

TOTP 23 JUN 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

It’s the final week of June 1994 and the World Cup is well under way. Republic of Ireland have already pulled off an unlikely 1-0 win against Italy and Diego Maradona had shocked the world with that bulging eyes goal celebration. Two days after this TOTP aired, he failed a drug test after the Argentina v Nigeria group game and was expelled from the tournament. He never played for his country again. The England team were watching at home like the rest of us after failing to qualify for the first time since 1978. Did we not like that! The World Cup provides the perfect opportunity for tonight’s host Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo to play to the camera by wearing a different country’s football shirt every time he does a link. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – what a nob!

We start with a band who had history when it came to rustling up a big hit out of nowhere. In 1988, Aswad bagged themselves a No 1 with “Don’t Turn Around”. There previous highest chart peak had been No 70. They would spend the next six years as infrequent visitors to the Top 40 clocking up a handful of medium sized hits. By the Summer of 1994, their last chart entry had been a rather desperate career reviving attempt – a cover of Ace’s “How Long” with Yazz. I, for one, did not see them plundering a Top 5 single any time soon but that’s what they did with the release of “Shine”. Why did this particular track spark with the record buying audience? If I knew the answer to that, I’d be a super wealthy songwriter rather than an impoverished blog writer. For what it’s worth, “Shine” (to me) seemed much more aligned with their reggae roots than the likes of the out and out pop of “Don’t Turn Around” and given the then recent trend for ragga/dancehall songs and reggae-fied pop classics in the charts, maybe this was the apposite time for an Aswad comeback. Whatever the reason, “Shine” certainly had some legs – it spent three months in the Top 40 of which half of that time was in the Top 10. I’m sure we’ll be seeing Aswad again on these repeats.

Just to prove my point about the proliferation of reggae and its various sub genres in the charts at this time, here’s Dawn Penn with “You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No)”. And if that wasn’t enough evidence to prove how parochial the charts were becoming and this TOTP in particular, here’s @TOTPFacts with a further tidbit:

If Aswad’s comeback was surprising then what can be said about the success of this single? Originally recorded in 1967 and based around a Willie Cobb 1960 song (which itself relied heavily on a 1955 Bo Diddley track), somehow in 1994, it was deemed essential Summer listening. NME put it at No 24 in their list of the 50 best songs of the year. However, it was a case of ‘yes, yes, yes’ for the single and ‘no, no, no’ for the accompanying album which was received much less favourably and it got no further than No 51 in our charts.

Oh this is just getting silly now. How much more Aswad can one blog post take?! The next act is Ace Of Base whose latest single is a version of the aforementioned “Don’t Turn Around”! Why?! Why did they think this was a good idea? Well, apparently it wasn’t the band’s brainwave but their record label Arista’s who wanted some extra tracks laid down for the release of the US version of their debut album. One of those tracks had been previous single “The Sign” and now it was the turn of a song written by songwriter extraordinaire Dianne Warren and Albert Hammond. It was originally recorded by Tina Turner as the B-side to her 1986 single “Typical Male” before Aswad got their hands on it. Six years later it resurfaced in the hands of Swedish hitmakers Ace Of Base who wanted to give it a makeover and reworked it in a minor key to lend it an air of melancholy. I guess they should be given some credit for trying to do something different with what was clearly a straight up and down, uptempo pop song but it’s still a big, steaming pool of piss. I think it’s the nasally vocals on it (and indeed all their records) that grate. That plus the god awful rap in the middle. Oh, and the nasty, tinny production. Yeah, I think that covers it.

Arista clearly knew their markets though and “Don’t Turn Around” went to No 4 in the US and No 5 in the UK as well as being a hit all around the world. Ace Of Base would return with yet another cover version in 1998 with their take of Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer”.

Pretty sure there’s no Aswad association with this next artist. Whilst the UK was experiencing the second coming of Bryan Adams in the form of Wet Wet Wet being No 1 for weeks on end, America also had its own version of chart purgatory in the shape of All 4 One whose single “I Swear” topped the Billboard Hot 100 for eleven consecutive weeks. Inevitably, it became a massive success over here as well and surely would have risen to the summit were it not for Marti Pellow and chums. It got wedged in at the No2 position for seven weeks unable to dislodge “Love Is All Around”. I think this was my sister and her then boyfriend’s song as I recall. No doubt it held that status for many a couple in 1994.

Not quite a one hit wonder in the UK (they had a No 33 single in 1995), they had more success in the US though no chart entries there either past 1996. Despite that, the group are still together with the original line up with their most recent album coming in 2015.

Well before Yorkshire rockers Terrorvision were singing about ‘whales and dolphins’ on their 1996 hit single “Perseverance” there was Shed Seven and their first foray into the Top 40 “Dolphin”. I seem to remember there being a lot of fuss about the emergence of this lot (who were also Yorkshire lads hailing from York itself) and the release of their debut album “Change Giver”. I hadn’t been an early adopter of the Shed buzz though. I hadn’t noticed their debut single “Mark” (to be fair, it only made No 80) and this one also seemed to have passed me by. Not sure why as it’s a decent tune and I was open to the idea of a guitar band playing a form of jangly pop. The music press seemed open to it as well, at least initially. Comparisons with The Smiths and an article in the NME describing them as ‘the UK’s brightest hopes’ alongside positive gig reviews fuelled expectations. Within months though the press had turned and the band were even criticised for their names. Not the band’s name but their actual names. Look at this:

“Do they really expect to make it big with a singer called Rick Witter?”

Sullivan, Caroline. “Feature: Blurred Vision”. The Guardian G2 (Thursday 10 November 1994): 5.

Ridiculous. Anyway, the album made a short lived but significant splash reaching No 16 but only spending two weeks on the chart. It was a start though and within two years they were cranking out some quality tunes like “Getting Better” and “Going For Gold” both of which were used to soundtrack some BBC montages of the England football team during Euro 96 at the height of lad culture. Perhaps their pièce de résistance though was “Chasing Rainbows”, the lead single from third album “Let It Ride”. They were up there with the big boys of Britpop briefly. Ah yes, Britpop. Blur Vs Oasis and all that. Except for a while it was Shed Seven Vs Oasis, a rivalry which I must admit to not being aware of at the time but which seems to be heightened by both bands releasing debut albums within a week of each other. The rivalry became a feud that was played out in the music press with comments like this from Noel Gallagher:

“If we’re The Beatles, where are The Rolling Stones… it’s not f***ing Shed Seven’.”

Simpson, Dave. “Feature: More Songs About Puberty And Power”. Melody Maker (10 September 1994): 32–34.

Ultimately, “Change Giver” couldn’t compete with the record breaking “Definitely Maybe” but it wasn’t for a lack of confidence. Rick Witter is wearing a Shed Seven T-shirt in this TOTP performance with a picture of himself on the front! “Dolphin” peaked at No 28.

Live action films that use cartoons as their source material are rarely a good idea in my book. As far back as 1980 when Robin Williams took on Popeye, they never seemed to work. Leslie Nielsen’s turn as Mr Magoo in 1997 didn’t live long in the memory and neither did Matthew Broderick’s as Inspector Gadget in 1999. And then there’s The Flintstones. A staple of many a child of the 60s and 70s televisual schedule, the live action film starring John Goodman as Fred Flintstone actually did pretty well at the box office but it was still awful. With songs from films being big business in the 90s (think Bryan Adams / Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Whitney Houston / The Bodyguard and Wet Wet Wet / Four Weddings and a Funeral), it was no surprise that Universal Pictures wanted a huge hit to promote the film. Enter The B–52’s to record a version of the cartoon’s well known theme tune.

In many ways they were the perfect vehicle for a reworking of “(Meet) The Flintstones” having an almost cartoonish image themselves and being at the kitsch end of New Wave but on listening back to this today, it sounds horrific. Renamed as The B.C. 52’s (how amusing), they put their trademark stylings to the song like the over emphasised vocals of Kate Pierson and some wah wah guitar but it just doesn’t work for me. Shoehorning in some of the sound effects from the original into the mix like the canned drum roll that accompanies ‘Fred’s two feet’ in the cartoon sounds completely incongruous. What did I know though as the single went all the way to No 3. It would be the band’s final UK and US chart hit.

Some more pissing Eurodance next. I’m so fed up of this now. At the risk of sounding like my Dad when he used to pass judgment on the music of my youth, it all sounds the same and the bigger the crap the longer it goes on. Cappella seemed to be a poor man’s 2 Unlimited but with an obsession with inserting ‘U’ instead of ‘you’ in their song titles. “U & Me” was the third of their singles to follow this trend after “U Got 2 Know” and “U Got 2 Let The Music”. I can’t remember how they went but I’m guessing they sounded pretty similar to this one. Do you think Eurodance is just a dead form of music now? Like Latin is a dead language that nobody speaks anymore, is Eurodance a genre of music that nobody makes nor listens to any longer? We can only hope. “U & Me” peaked at No 10.

The 90s had been pretty good to Elton John so far. The decade had furnished him with his first ever solo UK No 1 in “Sacrifice / Healing Hands”, his album “Sleeping With The Past” (1990) was also a chart topper whilst “The One” (1992) went to No 2. Meanwhile, his collaborations album “Duets” had given him two Top 10 singles on the bounce. I hadn’t liked any of it though. In fact, I’d thought it was all terrible pretty much. However, that period’s success had lifted Elton out of his late 80s malaise when everything had gone a bit awry post “Too Low For Zero” and its radio friendly singles like “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” and “I’m Still Standing”.

What came next in 1994 some would say was his best work in years and it was all due to a Disney film. The Lion King would become an international phenomenon becoming the second highest grossing film of all time at one point behind the original Jurassic Park but also spawning a musical, sequels, a prequel and TV series. The man behind its soundtrack though was Elton and he fashioned a record that would go diamond in the US alone, achieving 10 million sales. The two big singles from it were “Circle Of Life” and this one, “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”. Both were heart strings tugging ballads the like of which Elton was more than capable of composing once he’d weaned himself off the overly saccharine which he was want to indulge in. I could appreciate the musicality of both hits from the soundtrack though I preferred “Circle Of Life” if I’m honest as did Elton who is on record as stating it’s the better song. It was “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” though that won an Oscar for Best Original Song in 1995.

The single was also a big hit in the US where it made No 4 though the reception to it in this country was somehow only worthy of a chart peak of No 14. Elton would return in 1995 with the platinum selling “Made In England” album.

It’s week four for Wet Wet Wet at the chart summit. What can I say about it this week? How about our perception of what exactly was going on here at the time? Did we have any idea that we were witnessing the genesis of a 15 weeks run at No 1 for “Love Is All Around”? Four Weddings And A Funeral was pulling in huge numbers at the box office to help promote the song in much the same way that Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves did for “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” so maybe we should have seen it coming? Or had we consigned the whole Bryan Adams debacle to history as a one off and therefore in our minds there was no way such a run could happen again or at least certainly not within three years?

And what of chart rivals? Were there any records that looked likely to depose the Wets in those early weeks? Was it inconceivable that someone like Big Mountain (with their own song from a film) could get to No 1? How about Dawn Penn or US chart toppers All 4 One? Or even Ace Of Base who’d already scored a chart topper of their own the previous year and whose current single was a song that had been No 1 for Aswad just six years before? Marti Pellow and co would see them all off to achieve fifteen weeks atop the charts before getting bored themselves and deleting the record so that sales would eventually and inevitably decline. At least that put them marginally above Bryan Adams in the credibility stakes.

The play out song is “Night In My Veins” by The Pretenders. I’d completely forgotten that there was a follow up to “I’ll Stand By You” but here it is and it’s not bad if nowhere near as memorable as its predecessor. A catchy, melodic rock work out, it would make No 25 and was the band’s penultimate UK Top 40 entry.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1AswadShineNope
2Dawn PennYou Don’t Love Me (No, No, No) No and indeed no, no
3Ace Of BaseDon’t Turn AroundAs if
4All 4 OneI SwearNo but I bet my sister did
5Shed SevenDolphinNo but I have a live album of theirs with it on
6The B-52’s(Meet) The FlinstonesNever happening
7CappellaU & MeNegative
8Elton JohnCan You Feel The Love TonightNah
9Wet Wet WetLove Is All AroundI did not
10The PretendersNight In My VeinsAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001krc9/top-of-the-pops-23061994

TOTP 26 MAY 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

For the first time in quite some time, I’ve looked at the running order of a TOTP and done this:

With the exception of The Prodigy, the rest of the line up is so uninspiring. Apologies if one of your favourite artists or songs is on this show but I really can’t get excited by it. I might treat myself to a fairly short review for once. It seems fitting that the show is presented by Mark ‘nice but dull’ Goodier.

We start with a ragga/Eurodance mashup from Maxx. A huge hit all around Europe, “Get-A-Way” would peak at No 4 in the UK. As was obligatory with just about every Eurodance outfit of the early to mid 90s (Snap!, Black Box, Technotronic etc) there’s a story behind who the female vocalist was. I think the Lisa Stansfield lookalike up there on stage is someone called Linda Meek but the vocals on the record were made by session singer Samira Besic who left the Maxx project before a video could be filmed so model Eliz Yavuz was drafted in for the visuals and promotional duties. British singer Meek was recruited for live shows and she also laid down the vocals for follow up single releases. What’s the significance of the US cop car picture behind the group on stage? Is it something to do with the single’s title (i.e. a getaway car)? Surely that wouldn’t be a police vehicle though would it? Do the track’s lyrics give us any clues?

*checks lyrics online*

Not really. They just bang on about being a ragga man, feeling irie and drinking champagne mainly. They also plagiarise Apache Indian by pinching his ‘Boom shakalak’ line. Is nothing sacred?!

Carleen Anderson is up next and I’m sure that the TOTP captions person told us she was James Brown’s goddaughter the last time she was on. I wonder if she minded that the show’s production team thought that the most interesting thing about her was a connection to someone else? Still, I suppose it’s better than just saying she was from Bolton or somewhere.

She seemed to be experiencing a case of diminishing returns in reverse as every hit she had from her debut album “True Spirit” managed a chart peak slightly higher than its predecessor. This track – “Mama Said” – made it to No 26, one place higher than her debut hit “Nervous Breakdown”. It was followed by “True Spirit” which peaked at No 24 and the final single from the album (“Let It Last”) stopped climbing the chart at No 16. Unusual chart stats I would suggest. “Mama Said” sounds like “Apparently Nothin’” by Young Disciples but then she did do the vocals on that when she was their singer so no surprise there really. The guy with the long, ginger ringlets on guitar looks like Glen Hansard aka Outspan from The Commitments who was schooled in the ways of James Brown…

OK, in amongst all the ‘meh’ on this show, it’s hard to dismiss The Prodigy with such a phrase. Their journey from purveyors of ‘toy town techno’ with debut hit “Charly” to Glastonbury headlining gods of dance was in its mid stage with the pending release of sophomore album “Music For The Jilted Generation”. Despite this track – “No Good (Start The Dance)” – being released just six weeks before the album, it wasn’t actually its lead single. That honour went to “One Love” that was released a whole eight months earlier. Whatever era of the band though, one thing was a constant – their ability to sell lots of records. The album would go to No 1 and go double platinum whilst the single would reach No 4 becoming their seventh consecutive hit of which four went Top 5.

Interestingly, and I’d never realised this until now, the band never appeared on TOTP in person, declining all offers to appear so that the producers were forced to show their videos instead. Kowtowing to the BBC wasn’t in the band’s manifesto which was all about making commercially successful yet uncompromising hard dance music. The album even starts with this spoken commitment from Liam Howlett:

“So I’ve decided to take my work back underground to stop it falling into the wrong hands”

Hamacher, Adriana (July 1994). “Prodigy: Guitar Hero”. Mix Mag. pp. 63–64.

Of “No Good (Start The Dance)” itself, Howlett said in an interview in Dazed magazine:

“‘No Good… was a response to all that shit Eurodance stuff”

The Prodigy select 10 inspirational Jilted jams – Dazed magazine 4 July 2014

Quite right too. Watching this video back, it’s sobering to remember that the sadly departed Keith Flint didn’t always look like an otherworldly punk character that seemed like he came from the imagination of horror legend Stephen King. That image was still two years away but it was coming. Be afraid etc…

Next up is another artist that meant nothing to me. I was never interested in Iron Maiden nor any of those bands that were part of that early 80s British Heavy Metal movement so the solo career of Bruce Dickinson was not top of my ‘must investigate further’ list. I do have to review his single here though so what do I make of “Tears Of The Dragon”? Well, apart from its pretentious title (something to do with chasing the dragon?), it sounds like Bruce is doing his best Led Zeppelin impression in the verses and is auditioning for a Bon Jovi tribute band in the chorus. Ah, what do I know though? “Tears Of The Dragon” peaked at No 28 whilst parent album “Balls To Picasso” (not such a pretentious title) got to No 21.

I really have nothing more to say about “Carry Me Home” by Gloworm. I can’t just leave it at that though can I? What about the performance here? Well, they’ve toned down on the gospel theme after using a pulpit in their last appearance and have replaced that with what look like three massively oversized replicas of the Jules Rimet Trophy (the original trophy awarded to the winners of the football World Cup from 1930 to 1970). Sadly, the TOTP producers seem to have chosen a motif for the wrong sport – ‘Carry me home’ are lyrics included in “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”, a Rugby Union anthem sung by fans of the England international team.

Time for a video exclusive now courtesy of “Absolutely Fabulous” by Pet Shop Boys. This was the Comic Relief record for 1994 and was obviously based around the BBC sit com of the same name. It was probably a good call from the charity as the show had just finished its second series run having moved from BBC2 to BBC1 and its popularity was blooming. I used to watch it and presumably enjoyed it enough but it’s not something I’d rewatch and I haven’t thought about it in years. On reflection, it was a bit shallow with everything revolving around the ludicrous actions of main characters Patsy and Edina. I don’t think it amounts to much more than that.

As for the song, I wasn’t a fan. Yes, it’s the Pet Shop Boys who I’d always liked but it’s very repetitive, essentially a beat based around Neil Tennant singing the song’s title with some catchphrases from Patsy and Edina thrown in randomly. Apparently it was meant to be a deliberate parody of the Eurodance genre as Neil and Chris thought that was the type of record Edina and Patsy would think was ‘trendy’. I don’t think I got the joke in that case. The video doesn’t really help either with the ‘comedy’ being the clash of styles of the antics of Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley in character against the static Chris and Neil. Watching it back now, it’s all a bit cringe (as the kids might say). “Absolutely Fabulous” peaked at No 6.

What three things come to my mind when I think of Galliano? Acid Jazz, Mick Talbot and Swampy. Am I right or is my memory playing tricks on me?

*checks Galliano Wikipedia page*

Well, two out of three ain’t bad as Meatloaf might say. They were definitely Acid Jazzers being the first act signed to Eddie Piller and Gilles Peterson’s Acid Jazz label and their debut single was the first release on it. Ex-Style Councillor Mick Talbot was also amongst the band’s ranks occasionally. And Swampy? I was nearly right. In case you’d forgotten, Swampy is an environmental activist who briefly came to fame for spending a week in a tunnel as part of the demonstrations to stop the expansion of the A30 in Fairmile, Devon in 1996. His notoriety even earned him a place in panel show Have I Got News For You. So what has he got to do with Galliano? Nothing but my confusion is explained by the fact that they released a single called “Twyford Down” which was inspired by the protests against the M3 expansion through the chalk downland near Winchester, Hampshire. However, I don’t know for sure if Swampy was involved.

“Long Time Gone” was, as Mark Goodier says, their first ever hit single after four near misses. A cover of a Crosby, Stills & Nash song from the 60s, it’s actually a pretty nifty version. Valerie Etienne’s vocals are good and it’s well produced. I’d forgotten they had a Bez type character in their ranks who went by the name of Uncle Big Man. Not sure why he has a Mick Hucknall style staff with him though. While researching Galliano, I was struck by the unusual names of those involved. There’s a Constantine, a Crispin plus surnames like Vandergucht and Ameedee but my favourite is the guy who replaced Mick Talbot on keyboards, one Ski Oakenfull! “Long Time Gone” peaked at No 15 and was taken from their third album “The Plot Thickens” which went Top 10.

The biggest chart story of 1994 was undoubtedly Wet Wet Wet’s 15 week reign in the No 1 spot but there was a sub plot to the main tale which concerned this next group. All 4 One had an elongated, chart topping stint of their own in 1994 in America when they spent 11 weeks at No 1 with drippy ballad “I Swear”. That isn’t the story I was referring to though. No, it’s the one about them spending seven (!) consecutive weeks at No 2 in the UK charts without managing to dislodge the Wets and the ubiquitous “Love Is All Around”. Remarkably, when Bryan Adams had his 16 weeks at No 1 in 1991, there was also a record that spent a long time in its shadow, unable to knock it off its perch. That was “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred and as awful as that song is/was, “I Swear” might be worse. Horribly cynical (how many couples walked down the aisle to this with lyrics like ‘For better or worse, ‘til death do us part’?) and with its blended, R&B harmonies, it was basically the natural successor to “End Of The Road”. Ironically, Boyz II Men would return themselves in a few weeks with their own copycat version of their biggest hit in “I’ll Make Love To You”. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of All 4 One in these TOTP repeats soon. It’s enough to make you swear.

The Manchester United Football Squad are this week’s No 1 with their revolting single “Come On You Reds”. The only credit I will give it is that Status Quo managed to somehow work the names of all the team into the lyrics. There’s fourteen of them in there so I’m trying to work out if they missed anybody out.

*checks Manchester United 1993/94 squad*

No, they didn’t – nobody who played more than two games anyway. Quite a feat. United would release a further three singles during the 90s all of which were hits – the hilariously titled “We’re Gonna Do It Again” in 1995 (they won zero trophies), “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” in 1996 (they won the double) and “Lift It High (All About Belief)” in 1999 (they won the treble).

The play out song is really odd. Tim McGraw is a US country artist who was only just beginning to be noticed in America in 1994 so I’m pretty sure the UK was totally oblivious to who he was. This song – “Indian Outlaw” – was his first big hit on the US country chart but it did nothing over here. If that wasn’t enough to make it an odd choice to appear on TOTP, it was actually banned by some American radio stations for its patronising depiction of Native Americans. What was Ric Blaxill thinking?!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Maxx Get-A-WayNever
2Carleen AndersonMama SaidNo
3The ProdigyNo Good (Start The Dance)I did not
4Bruce DickinsonTears Of The DragonNah
5GlowormCarry Me HomeNegative
6Pet Shop BoysAbsolutely FabulousNot even for charity
7GallianoLong Time GoneNope
8All 4 OneI SwearI didn’t – I swear!
9The Manchester United Football SquadCome On You RedsNO!
10Tim McGrawIndian OutlawAs if

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I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001k9s9/top-of-the-pops-26051994