It’s early February 1999 and England football manager Glenn Hoddle has just been sacked by the Football Association for comments he made in an interview with The Times newspaper in which he suggested that people born with disabilities were paying for sins in a previous life. A BBC survey conducted during the fall out from the interview found that 90% of those asked thought Hoddle should not remain as the national team manager. Glenn defended himself by saying his words had been taken out of context and by highlighting his work for disabled charities but his fate was sealed. Some though saw it as an overreaction and that his sacking was driven by other agendas involving a lacklustre World Cup performance, poor recent results and rumours of player discontent. Kevin Keegan would be appointed as Hoddle’s successor within a fortnight though. It was big news but can I link it into this particular TOTP? Let’s find out…

Jamie Theakston is our host and we start with…no…it can’t be…not again. It is you know. Bryan Adams and Melanie C are back once more with “When You’re Gone”. Right, if I’m going to be annoyed I’m going to get my facts straight first…

*checks the TOP Of The Pops Archive website*

FIVE TIMES! Five times this has been on! I know that it had some long chart legs but seriously?! Starting the 5th February ‘99 show with a hit that was first featured on the 11th December ‘98 episode?! And no I don’t care that it had gone up from No 7 to No 5 for its highest position since debuting at No 3. And three of those appearances were repeats of the two original performances. We never even got to see the music video though having checked it out – Bry and Mel wandering around a house but constantly missing the other one because they’ve, you know, gone – that might not be a bad thing. Bry’s guy-liner look is giving me heavy JD Vance vibes and that’s terrifying frankly.

Glenn Hoddle link: “When You’re Gone”? Being sacked? That’s an easy starter for 10.

I’m really not liking this backstage area schtick especially when it’s used by Jamie Theakston to make some creepy comments about “making some new friends“ whilst leering at this week’s No 1’s backing dancers. Anyway, next up are Garbage with their single “When I Grow Up”. The fourth single from their “Version 2.0” album, it’s a much more upbeat sound than some of their other work with its “ba ba ba ba” chorus, and almost pop song like sensibilities. Having said that, its lyrics were as dark as ever – how many ‘pop’ songs contain the phrase “golden shower” for example? Incidentally, that was something the band were very proud of, sneaking said idiom into a track being played on daytime radio. According to Shirley Manson, the song is about whether adulthood brings maturity and with lines like “cut my tongue out”, “unprotected, God I’m pregnant” and “I go mental”, I think Garbage achieved their stated aim of creating a track with a dark lyrical subject matter set against a pop melody. “When I Grow Up” peaked at No 9 just as two of the previous three singles released from the album had which wasn’t quite up there with Paul Young’s “Everything Must Change” spending five consecutive weeks at No 9 but it must have been some sort of record.

Glenn Hoddle link: This is very tenuous. Shirley Manson used to be in Scottish rock band Goodbye Mr Mackenzie. Hoddle won the FA Cup in 1981 with Spurs who defeated Manchester City 3-2 in a replay. The scorer of City’s first goal in that match? Steve MacKenzie

After trying his hand at doing a segue using rhyming couplets (it’s not big nor clever Jamie), Theakston introduces “Good Life (Buena Vida)” by Inner City. Wait…what? I don’t remember this. I mean, obviously I remember Inner City and their No 4 hit “Good Life” from 1988 but this flamenco style re-recording of it? Nope, I got nothing. Having listened to it though, I think I prefer it to the original which was never my cup of tea. And I mean ‘prefer’ not ‘like’ as even this reimagining of a Detroit house hit (with added español lyrics) was never going to be my taza de Spanish Brew. Or something.

So why did this version exist? Well, it wasn’t part of some campaign to promote a Best Of album – in fact, it wasn’t linked to any type of album, studio or compilation. However, there had been a white label copy of the new version kicking around the clubs for a year and the attention it attracted finally warranted an official release and when that happened, it turned out that the person behind it was Kevin Saunderson of, yep, Inner City. So what, he was just bored and so revisited his back catalogue for something to do? Who knows but it gave Kevin and his band their first Top 10 hit since 1989. Anyway, if you can be bothered, here’s the link to what I wrote about the original version from 1988:

TOTP 08 DEC 1988

Glenn Hoddle link: In an interview with The Big Issue magazine, Labour politician and Spurs fan David Lammy said this:

“Football was quite important to me growing up. It was the era of Spurs winning the FA Cup in ’81 with Ossie Ardiles and Glenn Hoddle. Spurs were huge and in a way, because we were growing up in the inner city and there were riots, the fact that we had such a great football team meant the world to us, it was something really positive.“

Jane Graham, 17 May 2020, Big Issue #1406

Hoddle and ‘inner city’ both mentioned there. Ahem.

Another hit whose chorus goes “Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba”! Unlike Garbage’s “When I Grow Up” earlier though, “National Express” by The Divine Comedy wasn’t quite as dark lyrically though it did receive criticism in some of the music press for allegedly taking a swipe at the working classes, an allegation singer songwriter Neil Hannon denied. For him, he was literally recounting some of the sights he saw whilst travelling on a coach. However you perceived its words, “National Express” sure was catchy which might explain why it became the band’s first (and so far only) Top 10 hit. What I’ve always liked about Hannon’s lyrics is that he annunciates them so well – you can actually hear and understand what he’s giving vocal expression to which is a crucial part of the storytelling within them. Yes, some took offence at the line about the “jolly hostess” having an arse the “size of a small country” (including my wife) but at least you were engaged by the words however you perceived and received them. Later in 1999, a Greatest Hits album called “A Secret History… The Best of the Divine Comedy” would take them into the Top 3 and provide a gold disc to boot. It would also give us one of the most preposterous and yet glorious song titles of all time in “The Pop Singer’s Fear of the Pollen Count”. Ah you’ve got to love The Divine Comedy!

Glenn Hoddle link: A born-again Christian since 1986, Hoddle famously employed faith healer Eileen Drewery whilst England manager for which he was lampooned in the press. A divine comedy you might say.

Who??!! Leilani?! Wasn’t she a glamour model? Well, yes and no. There is a former glamour model called Leilani Dowding who is actually engaged to Billy Duffy, guitarist for The Cult but she isn’t this Leilani. No, this Leilani is Leilani Sen, a singer signed to ZTT from 1998 to 2000 and whom had a small hit with “Madness Thing” during that time. And what a slight, little thing it was. An inconsequential ditty about…what? Boyfriends who are too tall, boobies that are too small and eating Curly Wurlys according to the lyrics. No, really; that’s what she sings. I can’t believe she was on the same record label as Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Art Of Noise and Propaganda. Anyway, she didn’t last long – just one more No 40 hit and an unreleased album. However, she returned in 2023 as a contestant on reality series Survivor and with a single (presumably released off the back of her appearance on it) called “Wicked Knickers”. Hmm. Bizarrely, another similar looking female pop star flogging similarly cheesy pop songs would appear later in 1999 – it was as if Leilani was a prototype Lolly. As far as I can recall, Lolly never had a fleet of ironing boards on stage with her though. A thing of madness indeed.

Glenn Hoddle link: Hoddle probably did hate the madness of it all when it came to that interview in The Times.

A slushy R&B ballad next from Dru Hill who, let’s be honest, I know very little about and have even less interest in. I can’t help it – I grew up as a pop kid. For what it’s worth, they sound to me like they know what they were about with “These Are The Times” featuring some on point harmonies that Boyz II Men would willingly take to the end of the road. Why does Sisqó have a big, silver dragon motif on his microphone when none of the other members of the group do? Well, later in 1999, he would leave Dru Hill to pursue a solo career and his debut album was called “Unleash The Dragon” so maybe it was a clue as to what was going to happen? Maybe not actually as the whole group were influenced by the Dragon and Asian culture, as displayed in their band logo. Perhaps he was just a big show off then.

Glenn Hoddle link: Yes, it was The Times that did for poor old Glenn

Last week’s No 1 has dropped to No 2 but here’s that same performance repeated again as we get The Offspring and “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”. The dolls’ heads being used as percussion instruments as referenced by Jamie Theakston was surely inspired by the cover of the album “Yesterday And Today” by The Beatles. Only released in America and Canada, it was an amalgam of the “Help!” and “Rubber Soul” albums but its original cover, nicknamed the “butcher cover”, depicted the band wearing white butcher smocks and covered with decapitated baby dolls and pieces of raw meat. The image caused so much controversy that it was immediately withdrawn by Capitol and replaced by John, Paul, George and Ringo gathered around a steamer trunk. Thirty years later, I’m pretty sure The Offspring’s TOTP stunt didn’t cause as much outrage despite Theakston’s talk of complaints in his intro. Maybe we’d got used to such imagery with the release of the original Toy Story film and the behaviour of Sid Phillips towards his toys…

Glenn Hoddle link: Glenn was a stylish, flair player – in fact he was pretty fly…for a white guy.

It’s a sixth different No 1 in six weeks (and that run will carry in for a while yet) as Armand van Helden is straight in at the top with “You Don’t Know Me”. Now, this guy had already been on a No 1 record but he didn’t really get the credit for it. What am I talking about? Well, he did the remix of Tori Amos’ “Professional Widow” which topped the charts in 1997 as “Professional Widow (It’s Got to Be Big)” but Tori’s management only authorised the release if she was given sole credit (even though she had nothing to do with that version). Armand finally got his official solo hit two years later which kind of seems like a case of fairs’s fair.

The guy up there doing the singing (singing on a dance anthem?!) is one Duane Harden who was allowed to go off and write the lyrics alone by van Helden while he got in with the business of putting together the samples to form a looping track which Harden’s vocals would be laid over. The result was a piece of New York house that had that all important crossover appeal. Armand would go to No 1 again 10 years later alongside Dizzee Rascal on “Bonkers”.

Glenn Hoddle link: There’s nothing except…they’ve both been on TOTP! Glenn Hoddle on TOTP? You better believe it…

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Bryan Adams / Melanie C	When You’re Gone	Negative
2	Garbage	When I Grow Up	No but it’s pretty good
3	Inner City	Good Life (Buena Vida)	Nah
4	The Divine Comedy	National Express	No but I had that Best Of album
5	Leilani	Madness Thing	Nope
6	Dru Hill	These Are The Times	Not really my thing
7	The Offspring	Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)	No
8	Armand van Helden	You Don’t Know Me	I did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002px53/top-of-the-pops-05021999