TOTP 02 DEC 1993

We’re into December 1993 here at TOTP Rewind and the charts are starting to shape up for the race for Christmas No 1 with many a new release jostling for position on the starting grid as it were. Of the ten songs featured in this show, only two of them have been on previously. Amongst them are two future chart toppers including the festive one but we start by addressing this whole 3D thing. I can’t say I’m any sort of expert on 3D technology but I’m guessing that back in 1993 it probably seemed quite revolutionary. However, according to Wikipedia, the first stereoscope that tricked the brain into combining two separate images to produce 3D perception was developed in 1838! Fast forward 150 odd years and Panasonic introduced the first TV with 3D capability in 1981. Twenty years on from that and 3D screenings of films gained in popularity peaking with the release of Avatar in 2009. In the wake of that film, there was a short period of demand for 3D TVs but sales plateaued quickly and production of them had. all but stopped by 2016. OK, so given all the above, I’m sticking with my original summation that this was probably quite the event in 1993*.

*Apparently, this TOTP was part of the BBC’s 3DTV week (so an event indeed) which included this notorious piece of TV history…

So how did TOTP incorporate 3D into the show? Well, they kind of fudged it. The whole show wasn’t in 3D but there were some sections that lent themselves to some experimentation. The ‘weather vane’ opening titles were accentuated by adding some 3D graphics to them of the glasses that were required to appreciate the effects (proceeds from the sales of the glasses went to Children In Need). Then host Tony Dortie’s links were an obvious opportunity to add some 3D-ness so instead of the usual backdrop of the studio audience he had the show logo in 3D behind him. The show’s producers also hijacked the official promo videos for the Breakers section and showed some specifically put together films instead that highlighted the 3D technology in its best light. This resulted in the most inappropriate visual backing you’re ever likely to see for “YMCA” by The Village People. They do the same thing for the whole of U2’s “Stay (Faraway, So Close!)” video before climaxing with the pièce de résistance of the studio performance by Take That but more of that later. On with the actual music…

We begin with a song that I knew from its recording by another artist but not the actual original. “Don’t Look Any Further” was originally released by ex-frontman of The Temptations Dennis Edwards in 1984 on the Motown label but failed to chart. Four years later, The Kane Gang released their version of the song. You remember The Kane Gang surely? They had a couple of hits in 1984 with “Closest Thing To Heaven”and “Respect Yourself” and their song “Smalltown Creed” was the inspiration behind the ‘Ooh Gary Davies’ jingle for the Radio 1 DJ. After that they rather drifted away despite a second album which included the glorious “Motortown” single and “Don’t Look Any Further”. Sadly, neither of these great tracks could revive their commercial fortunes peaking at Nos 45 and 52 respectively.

Five years on and the song was rejuvenated by the dance act of 1993 M People who were on a roll having already racked up three Top 10 singles during the year including No 2 hit “Moving On Up”. They do a pretty good job of the track with the vocals shared between Heather Small and Mark Bell which I’m guessing didn’t happen too often. To my mind though, I would have thought that the track “Renaissance” would have been a better choice of single given that it already had a public profile from its use as the soundtrack the BBC student documentary The Living Soap which aired this year. That oversight was corrected early the following year when it became the fourth and final single released from “Elegant Slumming”.

It’s that U2 video for “Stay (Faraway, So Close!)” now or rather it isn’t as it’s been sacrificed for a promo film put together to highlight the 3D sheen that it’s been lacquered with. It seems to be a load of unrelated images of people doing everyday things like sitting in cafes, buying flowers at a market in European city settings like Paris, Amsterdam and Venice. A carnival (?) full of costumed and bemasked participants comes in towards the end. I wonder if the show’s producers had to have a difficult conversation with U2’s management to get approval for showing this instead of the official video that they’d have paid money to make?

Next a song that always reminds me of Christmas 1993. I’ve not been complimentary about Björk in the past but I’ve amended my opinion over time from she can’t sing to she can sing but I just don’t like her voice but I’ll have to modify it again. I have actually enjoyed re-hearing her singles “Venus As A Boy” and “Play Dead” on these TOTP repeats and this one, “Big Time Sensuality”, is the best of the lot. From its brooding, slowly building intro, it moves through the gears of its electronic beats to a pulsating and sustained rhythm that somehow manages to upstage even Björk’s idiosyncratic vocals. It’s a banger and no mistake.

The live by satellite performance here from Rennes means we don’t get to see the actual infamous video with Björk filmed hamming it up on the back of a truck while it moves slowly through the streets of New York City.

Did its black and white filming and use of fast motion special effects influence the promo for The Prodigy’s “Firestarter”? Maybe but it was definitely sent up by those masters of parody French and Saunders though…

And it’s finally arrived. The moment in pop music history when the UK officially lost its collective mind and deemed it necessary to rush out and buy 600,000 copies of a record perceived by many a poll as the worst of all time. The Mr Blobby phenomenon is hard to explain. Initially a recurring character from BBC light entertainment programme Noel’s House Party, he became enshrined in British popular culture and somehow still retains a presence to this day. His original premise was as a tool in the Gotcha Oscars segment of the show, a kind of Candid Camera for the 90s where celebrities were duped into performing humiliating activities. Under the impression that Mr Blobby was a genuine Children’s TV character, they were then left to look on in bewilderment as this pink and yellow spotted costumed figure with a permanent grin proceeded to trash everything in its path and immediate vicinity. Somehow, this walking catastrophe managed to capture the nation’s hearts and his fame transcended his initial purpose. He would crop up on other TV shows including Lovejoy and Keeping Up Appearances and was a regular on other light entertainment programmes and kids TV like Live & Kicking and The Generation Game. Sensing there was money to be made unexpectedly out of this dereliction of duty to the traditions of humour on behalf of the public, merchandisers got in in the act with a number of Mr Blobby products including dolls, slippers, towels and a ‘blobbumentary’ VHS video. A record was inevitable and duly arrived in late November to cash in on the Christmas market.

I can find no redeeming features at all to “Mr Blobby” the single. Sure, there’d been many a novelty record make the charts prior to it. My Dad owned a copy of Benny Hill’s “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” which was not only a chart topper but the Christmas No 1 of 1971. There was at least a plot to it though featuring a fair few innuendos to keep the adults engaged. It worked for kids as well – I can remember playing it on the family record player as a child and being entertained. It was a multi level masterpiece compared to “Mr Blobby”. There have also been records that have come out of TV shows like The Wombles in the 70s but at least they had a charm and were written by genuine songwriter Mike Batt. Plus, the Wombles were eco-friendly and ahead of their time. Mr Blobby was just an accident prone, irritating twat. The 80s provided us with another novelty No 1 in “The Chicken Song” by Spitting Image and as lame as it was, at least it had its origins in a controversial, politics lampooning, satirical comedy show with genuinely amusing puppets. Mr Blooby was devoid of any trace of humour and his costume was shit. As for the actual “Mr Blobby” ‘song’ if you an call it that, there are no words but seeing as this is a text based blog, I guess I’ll have to try and write some. It’s just hideous, an assault to the ears, totally devoid of any musical merit, atrocious, excrement…They couldn’t use the character’s voice on account of it being electronically altered and also that he only uses it to say “Blobby, blobby, blobby” so what sort of vocal could they use instead? Of course, the most annoying of all vocals committed to vinyl ever – a St Winifred’s school style kids choir! Heinous!

Oh God, I haven’t even got onto the video yet. I’ll maybe leave that for another post because horror of horrors, this diabolical record not only gets to No 1 (twice!) but it will also be *SPOILER ALERT* the 1993 Christmas No 1.

From the ridiculous to the sublime. The East 17 v Take That rivalry was hardly Oasis v Blur but in 1993 that particular feud didn’t exist so the Walthamstow street urchins meets Manchester’s slick pop idols was much bigger than the Bros versus Brother Beyond battle of 1988 surely? In the war for chart dominance, Take That seemed to be pulling clear of East 17 having bagged themselves two consecutive No 1s whilst Tony, Brian and…erm…the other two were flailing around in the mid parts of the Top 40. Their last two singles hadn’t even made the Top 10. Something needed to be done and it was with the release of the sixth and final single from their debut album everything was suddenly alright again. “It’s Alright” is, for me, the band’s best ever work even eclipsing the smooth sound of “Deep” and Christmas tear jerker “Stay Another Day”.

I’m a sucker for a song that starts slowly and then explodes into life and “It’s Alright” fits the bill perfectly. From that tinkling piano intro courtesy of Tony Mortimer leading into Brian Harvey’s isolated, angelic vocal (whatever else has been said about him, the guy could sing) to the momentary lull and the song taking off with that shouty chorus allied to a breakneck electronic backing – its marvellous stuff. Add in some punchy, racing strings and a return to the soft, lilting piano riff for the outro and it’s almost 1993 pop perfection. The album version was much more lacklustre and so you really needed to buy The Guvnor mix of the single (which I did). The song is really all about Tony and Brian’s parts so they had to find something for the other two to do for this performance. One of them gets a bass guitar to fiddle about with whilst the other is left to his own devices up front – he resorts to some shadow boxing moves at one point. He might as well have been hiding in one of the telephone boxes that inexplicably decorate the stage. At least it would have given them a reason for being there. The nostalgia of Brian Harvey’s chimney style beanie hat is also bizarrely comforting to me.

“It’s Alright” went to No 3 becoming their biggest hit at that point and also kickstarted their golden era which would culminate in that cash cow of a Christmas No 1 a year later.

The Breakers next but as specified earlier, not the official promo videos that should have accompanied them but those specially put together films to show off the 3D effects. We start with the first sighting in the UK charts of Snoop Doggy Dogg. There’s so much to say about this artist (just check out the length of his Wikipedia entry) that I’m not about to try and give a potted history of him in a few sentences here. However, I do recall in 1993 that he was being talked up as the next big rap/hip-hop superstar. He had a credible back story having featured on the legendary Dr.Dre’s debut album and single. A year later he was centre stage with his own debut material released, like Dre’s, on the Death Row Records label. “What’s My Name?” was a Top 10 smash in the US but only managed to peak at No 20 over here which seems odd given that it sold 200,000 copies in the UK. I’m pretty sure we sold many of them in the small branch of Our Price I was working at in Altrincham, Cheshire. I never failed to be amused by the antics of clearly middle class white kids in a market town in Trafford, Greater Manchester who would wander around the store acting as if they were from the hood. They’d affect that ‘-izzle’ vocabulary that Snoop Doggy Dogg is known for popularising (“shizzle my nizzle” and all that), in a faux black patois whilst flicking through our rap section. Who were they kidding? I once heard one lad say to his mate as he browsed the section, “Oh man that’s bad* and that’s badder than that and that’s badder than that!”.

*Bad meaning good obvs

Instead of the infamous dog morphing video, we are dished up some images of rides at a fairground to display the those 3D effects. Man, that’s bad!*

*Bad meaning shite

Alongside Mariah Carey’s “Hero” and “Again” by Janet Jackson, the next Breaker was one of those ballads that hung around the charts for ages, sold loads but never really achieved the chart peak you might imagine it would. Of the three, “For Whom The Bell Tolls” by the Bee Gees achieved the highest position of No 4 (“Hero” made No 7 and “Again” No 6). It spent a total of twelve weeks inside the Top 40 including six in the Top 10. Check out its full chart run:

38 – 13 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 4 – 6 – 8 – 12 – 19 – 26 – 34

It’s solid stuff and that peak of No 4 would make it the band’s biggest hit of the whole decade. For all you tend to think of their massive success being in the 70s (which it was), they didn’t do too badly in the 90s. Eight Top 40 hits of which four went Top 5. Compare that to the 80s when they only had one entry into the Top 40 albeit that went all the way to the top (“You Win Again” in 1987). Having said all that “For Whom The Bell Tolls” seems a fairly unremarkable ballad to me. It does however allow for both Barry (verses) and Robin (chorus) to showcase their rather unique vocals. There’s also something about the bridge that reminds me of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” and if it sounds bizarre to mention Shaggy and the Bee Gees in the same breath, remember that the former made an unlikely album with Sting. As for the 3D film, it’s an aerial shot of a mountain range that looks like that one Jon Bon Jovi stood at the top of for the “Blaze Of Glory” video.

If it’s Christmas party season in 1993 then it must be time for a rerelease of a 70s disco classic. Yes, following in the footsteps of the likes of Sister Sledge, Boney M and Gloria Gaynor who all enjoyed small revivals in this year comes The Village People and their huge 1978 hit “Y.M.C.A.”. As far as I can tell, this was its first time back in our charts since which seems remarkable considering its ubiquity. I’m guessing there was a Best Of album out as well to cash in on the “Y.M.C.A. (‘93 remix)” No 12 chart performance but I really can’t remember. The most striking thing about this though is the film that the TOTP producers chose to go with it to highlight 3DTV week. Whose idea was it to sync one of the biggest, campest disco party tunes of all time with some ground level images of a big stick and a Dalmatian dog walking by it?! Even in super duper 3D that must have been boring as hell!

We have reached the TOTP 3D crescendo. Where previously the effects had been restricted to using specifically created videos replacing the official promos for featured songs and some jiggery pokery going on behind host Tony Dortie during his links, the moment had come for some actual 3D-ness whilst an artist performed in the studio. And what better artist for this extravaganza than the biggest in Britain Take That?*

*One in the eye for the overlooked East 17 there

After their last two singles had both gone straight into the charts at No 1, a third looked a sure fire bet and what’s more, they’d timed it perfectly to bag the Christmas chart topper whilst they were at it. The track chosen for the job was “Babe”, an out and out ballad which was a change of direction for the band. Yes, they’d had a hit with a ballad before in “A Million Love Songs” but whilst that was a bit of a sway-a-long swooner, “Babe” was of a different flavour. For a start it was completely overwrought, written to bring teenage girls to a state of high tension and unmanageable emotions. I recall thinking the first time I heard it that it was the drippiest, wettest sounding thing I’d heard since…I dunno…”Seasons In The Sun” by Terry Jacks maybe?

Secondly, the vocals were supplied by Mark Owen for the first time and not Gary Barlow. His saccharine stylings were perfect for the song which apparently had been written specifically for him by Barlow at the request of the band’s manager Nigel Martin-Smith to cash in on Owen’s popularity (like Ringo Starr, he got the most fan mail). Post 1996 when the band first broke up, the talk was all about who would have the biggest solo career – Gary Barlow or Robbie Williams? The claims of a third band member are largely skipped over nowadays but it should be remembered that Mark Owen also has a back catalogue of work including five albums and six hit singles. The first of those, “Child”, was actually pretty good.

Thirdly, Barlow’s construction of the song also had to take into account the guitar playing proficiency (or limits thereof) of Jason Orange. With shades of The Monkees lingering, Orange (and Owen presumably) were wanting to be more proactive in the recording of their songs rather than being pretty boy backing dancers to Barlow’s talent and so Jase had begun to learn to play the guitar. Gary takes up the story:

“Jay had always felt that musically he didn’t contribute to the band like the rest of us, which is what prompted him to take up the guitar. Eventually Mark, whose voice was getting better, and Jay, who had totally cracked the chords for the chorus, had the song down pat; it was time for the middle eight. The trouble was I didn’t want Jay to have to learn any more chords, so I wrote the rest of the song around the ones he already knew. There was one other complication in that Mark was at the top of his range, so it couldn’t go any higher. It’s a hell of a way to write a hit.”

https://www.songfacts.com/facts/take-that/babe

Anyway, “Babe” duly crashed in at No 1 on its first week of release making Take That the first act in UK chart history to achieve this feat*. The Christmas No 1 would elude them though in unlikely and controversial circumstances when Mr Blobby, having been deposed by Take That, went back to the top of the chart on Christmas Day.

*Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s first three singles all went to No 1 but didn’t all top the charts in week one. “Relax” took twelve weeks to rise to the summit

As for the 3D effects, the images used behind and swirling around the band seem to be a very literal interpretation of the song. We get an early 20th century phone and a load of numbers on screen when Owen sings “so I picked up the phone and dialled your number” before the special effects team give up and just have a heart shape with the band members emblazoned on it flying around. It was probably all very exciting if you were a teenage girl and had the requisite 3D glasses at the time. I wasn’t and didn’t.

The No 1 bizarrely seems like an anti climax after all that but then it is Meatloaf who is in his seventh week at the top with “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” so maybe that’s about right. Meat would never have another No 1 record in the UK nor US though he came close in 1995 when another preposterously titled single “I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth)” got to No 2 in this country. RIP Meatloaf.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1M PeopleDon’t Look Any FurtherNo but my wife had the album
2U2Stay (Faraway, So Close!)No
3BjörkBig Time SensualityNo but I should have
4Mr BlobbyMr BlobbyWhat do you reckon?
5East 17It’s AlrightYes, yes I did!
6Snoop Doggy DoggWhat’s My Name?Nope
7Bee GeesFor Whom The Bell TollsNah
8The Village PeopleY.M.C.A. (‘93 remix)Negative
9Take ThatBabeI did not
10MeatloafI’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001frnf/top-of-the-pops-02121993

TOTP 28 OCT 1993

It’s late October 1993 and TOTP seems to be in the midst of an identity crisis. Almost exactly two years ago, the ‘year zero revamp’ took place, culling the Radio 1 DJs as presenters and seeking to reinvent the show as the home of music for the youth population. Noble intentions indeed but just look at the some of the artists on this show:

  • Bryan Adams
  • Phil Collins
  • Meatloaf
  • David Hasselhoff!

Sure, it was a chart based show and it could be argued that the choice of artists reflected those shifting the most units but in reply I would refer you to that list again and say David Hasselhoff!! What’s that? Wasn’t the Breakers section there to showcase the more left field tunes in the chart? Good point and there are indeed some of them in tonight’s jam packed Breakers feature like The Grid and The Good Men but when there’s five of them like tonight you literally get about twenty seconds worth of those artists. Plus, included in that section tonight are Tina Turner and a song by a character from a sit com! What was going on?! This needs a deeper look so let’s get started…

I’ve banged on about this opening song in many a previous post as its singer was everywhere in 1993 with three Top 40 hits already prior to this one being the biggest of the lot. I’m on about Dina Carroll and her single “Don’t Be A Stranger” and my search for the reason why her record label A&M kept its release back for so long. Anyway, it’s here now and up to No 4 and would spend nine weeks inside the Top 10 as follows:

10 – 4 – 4 – 3 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 8 – 8

Such was its consistent selling that I think it may still have been in the Top 10 when the follow up single “The Perfect Year” was released in the December. Enough of its chart stats though, was it any good? It’s certainly an accomplished ballad and Dina can deliver on its drama with her vocal range. Apparently it was re-recorded from the album version but the main difference seems to be the addition of a longer intro (almost an overture in classical terms) and turning those spiky strings up a bit in the mix maybe. Why did it resonate so much with the record buying public though? Well, Christmas was approaching and a love song always goes down well at that time of year. Indeed, the chart for the festive period 1993 was littered with them – “Babe” by Take That, “Hero” by Mariah Carey, “For Whom The Bell Tolls” by the Bee Gees and “True Love” by Elton John and Kiki Dee leap out after just a cursory glance at the Top 40.

In this performance, the backing track doing the ‘Don’t Be A Stranger’ part of the chorus rather than Dina singing it herself does jar slightly but otherwise she does a good job of selling the song without the need for any stage gimmicks. I’m guessing we might be seeing this one again in future TOTP repeats.

Here comes Björk to completely undermine my theory that I posited in the intro about the show being full of mainstream, rock royalty artists. Of course she does. After her first two singles as a solo artist failed to tear up the charts peaking at Nos 36 and 29, she made a much better fist of it with third release “Play Dead” though she wasn’t quite on her own for this one. British film composer David Arnold is also officially credited on the record as it was part of the soundtrack to the crime drama movie The Young Americans starring Harvey Keitel (can’t say I’ve ever seen it).

Now I’ve been critical of Björk’s voice in the past but by any measure, this is a spellbinding piece of music, full of dramatic, swooping, swirling orchestration that ally perfectly with her…distinctive voice. It really is quite a thing. Its chart peak of No 12 was well deserved and sensibly her record company included it as an extra track on international pressings of her “Debut” album. I say sensibly but it apparently caused many official complaints from fans who had already bought the initial “Play Dead” lite version of the album.

The Breakers? Already? Yes, just two songs in we get those ‘happening’ tunes causing a stir somewhere in the chart. They usually pop up after about four or five songs but they’re here early this week for whatever reason. They start with a band who, like Björk before them, are most definitely not swimming in the mainstream. The early to mid 90s saw the Levellers at their commercial peak. Their eponymous third album released in August had peaked at No 2 whilst the follow up two years later “Zeitgeist” would top the chart. “This Garden” is as the second single released from the former and would become, quite oddly, the band’s fourth hit in six releases to peak at No 12. It’s quite the tune as well with loads packed into it including jungle rhythms, a didgeridoo, squawking bird sound effects, an (almost) rap and some lyrics that I presumed were about environmental issues but seem to be discussing the state of society and its culture as a whole on closer inspection. Interesting stuff.

Another atypical act now (the more conventional stuff is coming I promise), this time electronic house explorers The Grid who were Dave Ball of Soft Cell and record producer/DJ etc Richard Norris. They’d actually been around releasing material for years but had only discovered chart gold once before earlier in 1993 when “Crystal Clear” rose to No 27. “Texas Cowboys” was the follow up and did even better peaking at No 21. I’m sure it made sense to teenagers listening to it whilst playing Sonic the Hedgehog on their Megadrive but it sounds likely to induce a migraine to me.

The Grid would release their most well known track “Swamp Thing” the following year which, after it went Top 3, caused “Texas Cowboys” to be rereleased and it duly beat its initial chart peak by four places.

OK so this isn’t exactly mainstream but was it really what the kids were buying? How do you explain this. Well, in a year when Mr. Blobby would be the Christmas No1, anything was possible and so it was that a song from a space themed sitcom performed in character (a character by the way which was a humanoid evolved from a pregnant cat over three million years) was a hit in the UK charts. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Red Dwarf I just didn’t see the need for this drippy, insipid Motown pastiche to be in the charts. I mean if you want to do a spin off from a successful comedy TV series, it surely has to be funny doesn’t it or am I missing something? If it had been something like The Young Ones and Cliff Richard doing “Living Doll” for Comic Relief I could have got on board but I just didn’t see the point of “Tongue Tied” by The Cat. Even the video directed by Danny John-Jules who played The Cat wasn’t funny.

It was actually used as part of the story in the last episode of season two called “Parallel Universe” so it wasn’t an entire anomaly construct but that episode aired in 1988 so why release it five years later? Oh, reading up on it, the reason seems to be to help promote the launch of season six which makes more sense. It turns out that Danny John-Jules had some previous in the pop star lark. He’s in the video for Wham!’s “Edge Of Heaven”…

Go to 3:10

And so the tidal wave of mainstream music begins with this little trickle in the Breakers from Tina Turner. Like Dina Carroll earlier, Tina was all over the charts in 1993. “Why Must We Wait Until Tonight” was the third single from the soundtrack album to the biopic of her life called What’s Love Got To Do With It and the third consecutive hit after “I Don’t Wanna Fight” (No 7) and “Disco Inferno” (No 12) peaking at No 16. Compared to those two songs though, this one didn’t seem to have much about it – in fact it’s a bit of a dirge. Oh and if you’re thinking it’s unfair to consider Tina mainstream then know this – “Why Must We Wait Until Tonight” was co-written by Bryan Adams.

And a final, parting shot across the bows of TOTP from those making more alternative forms of music at this time from The Good Men. Now if you’re thinking haven’t we seen this one before fairly recently then you’re right, we have. Back in August, “Give It Up” got as high as No 23 before sliding out of the charts. However, such was its banger status in the clubs it never really went away and resurfaced in the Top 40 in late October before spending four weeks in the Top 10 and settling on a peak of No 5. There have been countless examples of singles that have been rereleased and become bigger hits than they were when first out but one that had already been a middle sized hit just two months earlier? That takes some doing I think. The track’s legacy wasn’t quite as impressive being sampled two years later by Simply Red for their No 1 single “Fairground”. Give it up Hucknell.

Right, that’s your lot for anything outside of the mainstream canon. From here on in its pure establishment rock beginning with Bryan Adams who gets a whole five minutes allocated to him to perform “Please Forgive Me”. This was a new track specifically recorded to promote his first Best Of album “So Far So Good” and his first single since “Do I Have To Say The Words” fifteen months previously. Presumably this compilation was to plug the gap between Bryan’s studio albums – there was five years separating “Waking Up The Neighbours” and “18 Till I Die”.

Let’s get this out there straight away – “Please Forgive Me” is not a good song. Actually, it’s dreadful. I say this as someone who isn’t anti-Bryan Adams. I even saw him live back in 1987 and he was a great performer but this? No. No thank you. And I thought that song he wrote for Tina Turner was bad. Everyone else seemed to love it though. Crashing in to the chart at No 3, it would finally settle at No 2. What this whole saga does show us is the transformative power of a huge No 1 single. After sixteen weeks at the top with “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, Bry was a proper chart star with his subsequent releases of new material being a big deal. The idea of him entering the UK charts with a single at No 3 in week one back in 1987 would have been laughable. He couldn’t buy a hit back then.

The album was a huge success going to No 1 and three times platinum here and sell 13 million copies worldwide. Adams would return in 1994 as part of a trio with Sting and Rod Stewart with the equally awful “All For Love” from The Three Musketeers film.

Is there anyone more mainstream than Phil Collins? An easy target for the music press who consistently dissed him as the omni-creator of the worst type of sterile, bland music, he was also accused of turning prog-rockers Genesis into lamentable peddlers of lame pop-rock. Just as a solo artist, he dominated the 80s with four albums and fifteen hit singles – come 1993, had the public’s Collins saturation point been reached? It appeared not. His album “Both Sides” went double platinum and was a No 1. Lead single “Both Sides Of The Story” went Top 10.

Phil’s in New York to perform it on TOTP via satellite and curiously he doesn’t get a spoken intro. The show seemed to have developed this convention during the ‘year zero’ era. I’m not sure what the reasoning was behind it. The artist was so big and well known that they needed no introduction? Anyway, it’s the usual Collins turn with Phil gurning and over emoting his way through the song with a backing band that did nothing to promote TOTP’s desire to be at the heart of youth programming. The keyboards player looks like ex-Dragons Den overlord Theo Paphitis for Chrissakes!

Who do you go to after Adams and Collins? For the TOTP producers there was only one answer – ‘The Hoff’ himself, the one and only David Hasselhoff! For the love of God! What were they thinking? Yes, he had quite the singing career in mainland Europe in places like Austria and Germany but he was surely considered a joke in the UK no? Everything about this is wrong, so depth plumbingly wrong. There’s the song for starters. Were “If I Could Only Say Goodbye” a facial expression it would be a grimace at best. Look at some of these lyrics:

I remember the day you came into my life
I remember how time stood still
You were my lover, my friend, my joy
You were my life
I loved you then and I always will
How time has its way with things
And all the changes it brings, baby
If I could only say goodbye
There will always be a part of me for you
If I could find the reason why
If I could only say goodbye

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: James Barry / Michael Fallon / Peter Fallon
If I Could Only Say Goodbye lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Somebody wrote those down, read them, considered them and decided “yeah, they’re fine”! WTF?! Then there’s Hasselhoff himself in his ridiculous, sleeveless denim shirt and his barely passable crooner voice. Just no. As with Phil Collins, there were people on his backing band that caught my eye. He had two (two!) keyboard players one of which seemed to be a younger version of himself and the other was a dead ringer for host Mark Franklin. As if this whole farce wasn’t bizarre enough!

This turn has a way to go though to top Hasselhoff’s most famous performance in the bizarre stakes…

So impactful was this broadcast that ‘The Hoff’ is now synonymous in some minds with being responsible for the fall of the Soviet Union! Not quite but kudos to him for being part of one of the biggest events of 20th century world history. Despite this TOTP appearance, “If I Could Only Say Goodbye” struggled to a peak of No 35. Thirteen years later, an online campaign saw his song “Jump In My Car” go to No 3. There are no words.

There’s only one way to end this. How? With a monstrously epic soft rock ballad courtesy of Meatloaf of course. “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” remains in top spot and still has weeks to go before its reign is toppled by Mr.Blobby (1993 really was batshit).

Right, let’s address that song title. What exactly is the ‘that’ Meatloaf won’t do? Well, here’s the man himself to explain it with a blackboard and pointer…

Got it? Good. And it’s definitely not what this guy John Thundergun says it’s about OK?

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Dina CarrollDon’t Be A StrangerBanged on about it, never bought it
2Björk and David ArnoldPlay DeadIt’s a no
3LevellersThis GardenNah
4The GridTexas CowboysNope
5The CatTongue TiedNever
6Tina TurnerWhy Must We Wait Until TonightI did not
7The Good MenGive It UpNo
8Bryan AdamsPlease Forgive MeI don’t Bryan, I really don’t
9Phil CollinsBoth Sides Of The StoryOf course not
10David HasselhoffIf I Could Only Say GoodbyeHell no!
11MeatloafI’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)I’d do anything for music (but I didn’t buy that)

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001drbn/top-of-the-pops-28101993

TOTP 09 SEP 1993

We’re well into September 1993 here at TOTP Rewind and the Top 40 continues to be completely batshit in its make up. Look at the running order for this TOTP. We’ve got Eurodance, grunge, a singer-songwriter, some Scottish rock/pop, perhaps the ultimate in bonkers artists from Iceland and f*****g Motörhead! Like I said, batshit!

We start with someone who may or may not be full on batshit but whom I have certainly found to be a curious figure at the very least. In 1993, Moby was yet to be catapulted into the celebrity stratosphere due to the ubiquity of his “Play” album but he was still a pioneering name in dance music circles and had already brought his take on it to the mainstream via 1991 Top 10 hit “Go”. A second entry into the charts had been a minor affair when “I Feel It / Thousand” scraped in at No 38. However, he would go much higher with “Move – The EP” from which this track “Move (You Make Me Feel So Good)” came.

Like Black Box and Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch before it, the track sampled “Love Sensation” by Loleatta Holloway but that isn’t what is keeping my attention in this performance. No, it’s the inverting of roles that we normally see from a dance act on TOTP. How many times have we witnessed an anonymous bloke at the back of the stage twiddling with some keyboards with a female vocalist belting out the (usually limited amount of) vocals upfront whilst trying to live thugs up with some dance moves? Well, it’s loads of times I can tell you but that template wasn’t for Moby. No, his female singer stands rigidly still with her arms behind her back for the entire performance. Meanwhile, it’s Moby who hogs the spotlight, leaping about and energetically pounding his synth drums. At one point he crouches Gollum- like on his keyboards before standing fully erect and then jumping down onto the stage! Like I said about him earlier, a bit odd.

“The Move EP” peaked at No 21.

There have been some famous princes over the years. How about Prince Charming for a start? Then there’s our new King who was Prince Charles for years (don’t mention Andrew – I said don’t mention…never mind). More recently there’s the villainous Prince Hans from Frozen and…erm…yes, Prince of course (as in the genius recording artist RIP). The best rapping Prince though? This guy must be in with a shout. I refer to The Fresh Prince (of Bel-Air), one half of the rap duo DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince.

The last time these two (Will Smith and Jeff Townes obviously) were in our charts was two years prior when “Summertime” went Top 10. Now they were back with the biggest hit of their career with *SPOILER* future No 1 “Boom! Shake The Room”. Seriously, who couldn’t like this hook laden platter of rap, hip-hop and a massive shout-a-long chorus? A perfect antidote to all that Eurodance nonsense – was it the record that knocked “Mr. Vain” of the top of the charts? I certainly hope so.

This was a watershed moment for Will Smith’s recording career as it just about brought the curtain down on DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince as a recording artist with future releases coming under his own name. I’m pretty sure that Townes continued to work with Smith on his solo artist output though. It would prove to be a commercially successful decision with Smith racking up eight Top 5 singles including the No 1 “Men In Black“. The Prince is dead, long live…erm…Will Smith?

Next to that bonkers artist from Iceland I mentioned earlier. I’m not a big Björk fan on account of her voice. I may have even gone as far as to state on occasion that she just can’t sing. I was wrong about that on reflection – she can sing it’s just that I don’t like it. Her performance here on “Venus As A Boy” being a case in point. The track itself I don’t mind. It’s got a tinkling charm to it that draws you in somehow but then Björk starts singing and it all becomes about her and that voice. Maybe I’m missing the point.

The performance here isn’t quite as out there as I would have expected with Björk giving a fairly orthodox delivery (I can’t believe she was out-bonkered by Moby!) albeit with an outfit that looked highly flammable. Here’s host Tony Dortie with an insight:

But…but…you couldn’t see her feet under that outfit so what was the point?! What we could see though was her clearly Space 1999 influenced eyebrows:

Oh and what were the model ships on plinths all about? Her backing band look like they are expecting something to kick off with her at any point but then she could be volatile…

Finally a live by satellite performance that is interesting! First there’s a little to camera intro from the band and then the execution of the song is simple yet somehow bewitching. I talk, of course, of James. You can always rely on the poetic Tim Booth to provide some high brow drama.

After finally becoming a bona fide chart act with the re-release of “Sit Down” going to No 2 in 1991, the band consolidated on their success with the well received “Seven” album and its attendant four singles. Not people to rest on their laurels, they were back in 1993 with fifth studio album “Laid” of which “Sometimes (Lester Piggott)” was the lead single. I think I may have been guilty at the time of thinking that their output was starting to stick to a formula and lumped “Sometimes” in with that but it’s actually a superbly crafted song with striking imagery in its lyrics of a child facing a monsoon wanting to be hit by lightning. It deserved a higher peak than its ultimate No 18 resting place.

I really like the staging of the performance here with the band proving that all they needed was an empty space to work in to come up with something interesting. The static five band members behind Booth strumming their guitars in unison creates an hypnotic effect although the guy on the end with the long hair (sorry, not up on all the members of James) who can’t resist swaying his head along to the beat is distracting. It’s sort of like a gender-reversed Robert Palmer backing band for “Addicted To Love” but without the pouting. Meanwhile, Tim Booth dances with a Spanish looking lady dressed entirely in black. I would have expected nothing less. Almost perfect.

Oh and that Lester Piggott suffix in the song title? Here’s Tim courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

Back in the studio we find Stone Temple Pilots performing their single “Plush”. I know I made the comparison in a previous post but this is just “Alive” by Pearl Jam isn’t it? Not that that’s a bad thing (I like “Alive”) but the similarities are quite stark.

The guitarist Dean DeLeo looked a bit like a young John Bishop on first glance but having sought out more images of him online, he actually looks like someone I used to work with at the Civil Service. And yes, I realise that comment won’t mean anything to the vast majority of you reading this but he does so there. “Plush” peaked at No 23 in the UK.

The Breakers are next starting with Guru featuring N’Dea Davenport. Now I find all this very confusing. Why? Well, while I don’t remember this single “Trust Me”, I do recall the album that it came from which was “Guru’s Jazzmatazz Vol 1 (An Experimental Fusion Of Hip-Hop And Jazz)”. So why my confusion? Wikipedia tells me that the album only got to No 58 in the UK charts and yet I remember selling loads of it in the Our Price store in Altrincham where I was working at the time. How can this be? I refuse to believe that a market town in Trafford, Greater Manchester with a population of 52,419 was/is the centre of the hip-hop/ jazz fusion world!

N’Dea Davenport was of course the on-off singer with acid jazzers the Brand New Heavies with whom Guru (real name Keith Elam) collaborated on their second album “Heavy Rhyme Experience Vol 1”. Do you think Keith nicked not only the band’s singer but also the idea for his album title off them?

In my head, Texas didn’t have any chart success between their debut single “I Don’t Want A Lover” in 1989 and their Chris Evans championed resurrection in 1997 with “Say What You Want” but that isn’t the case. I was aware that they released two whole albums in the intervening years but I erroneously thought that neither yielded any Top 40 hits. “Mother’s Heaven” supplied No 32 hit “Alone With You” in 1992 and now here was “So Called Friend” from third album “Rick’s Road” which made it to No 30*

*They also had a non-album single, a cover of Al Green’s “Tired Of Being Alone” go to No 19 in 1992.

“So Called Friend” is pleasant enough without being anywhere near approaching exceptional although it was considered special enough to be the theme tune to US sitcom Ellen from series three onwards.

Go to 5:40

WHO??!!! Zhané (pronounced Jah-Nay which was actually the title of their debut album) were a US dance duo who scored a massive hit over there with “Hey Mr. DJ” which got to No 6 on the Billboard Hot 100. It was one of those tracks that never really crossed over here where it peaked at No 26. I’m not sure why that would be when American RnB acts like Jade and SWV were having Top 10 hits over here in this year but there you go. They would have two other minor UK chart hits in the 90s before disbanding in 1999. I, obviously, don’t remember it.

YES! It’s Motörhead which means I get to tell my Lemmy story! Well, it’s not actually mine but rather my friend Robin’s who has given me clearance to use it here. This is it. A few years back whilst living in London, Robin had some friends from his student days (including my wife but not me) stay over at his gaff in Marylebone. It turned out to be a heavy night and unfortunately one of those staying was sick in the bed of one of his flat mates who was away at the time. Feeling guilty and knowing his flat mate was returning that day, the following morning he took the sick-covered duvet to the local dry cleaners. On the way there, he was approached by a man asking the way to a boozer (The Angel In The Fields on Marylebone High Street for all you London pub enthusiasts out there). That man was Lemmy. Despite the weird experience of meeting a rock legend unexpectedly whilst carrying a bag containing a sick-splattered duvet, Robin managed to keep his wits about him and say to Lemmy that he’d been to a Motörhead gig the other week and told him how great they’d been. Lemmy’s reply? “Keep The Faith”. Now that’s definitely perfect.

Why was “Ace Of Spades” back in the charts? I think it was to promote a Best Of album released by Castle Communications hence the single actually being called “Ace Of Spades – The CCN Remix 1993”.

I have posited a theory in past posts that there were clues hiding in plain sight that Siobahn Fahey was bound to leave Bananarama because she always had a slightly different outfit to Sarah and Keren when appearing on TOTP. While the other two would match sartorially, Siobahn would shake things up a bit by customising her version of the chosen ensemble. Talking of ‘the other two’ (a reference for the New Order super fans there), here are Barney, Hooky and…erm…the other two with their “World (The Price Of Love)” single.

That ‘other two’ reference isn’t the only connection to the Nanas though as I think that clothes theory is visible again. Look at Hooky with his mane of hair, his leather trousers and his ‘rock god’ posturing and compare him to the rest of them – of course he would end up leaving the band! “World (The Price Of Love)” peaked at No 13.

1993 saw the return of Beverley Craven but nobody really noticed. I mean, judging by the chart performance of this single “Love Scenes” that seems to be true as it struggled to a peak of No 34. After the dizzy heights reached by “Promise Me” two years prior, this surely wasn’t what her record label Epic were hoping for from the lead single of a new album (also called “Love Scenes”).

But then watch Beverley’s performance here and my claim that nobody noticed her return is blown out of the water. What was going on here?! Who decided to plonk her in a chair with a microphone centre stage wearing a dress that gives a new definition to the word ‘revealing’?! My God! Sharon Stone would have been embarrassed! No wonder Beverley looks like she’s on the edge of a cliff knowing any moment a gust of wind could blow her over (or indeed up her dress)! Where was her trusty piano that she always performed with?

As for the song itself, it’s a curious thing both in its sound and as a choice of single. It kind of reminds me of the theme tune to 70s action-comedy series The Persuaders!. Beverley would never return to the UK Top 40 after this single and retired from the music industry to bring up her three daughters. She returned to the recording studio in 1999 for the largely ignored “Mixed Emotions” album before embarking on another ten year hiatus. After battling cancer she has both recorded and toured with Julia Fordham and Judie Tzuke under the Woman To Woman banner and are currently playing live at a venue near you this month with special guest Rumer.

Culture Beat are still going strong at the top of the charts with “Mr. Vain”. There are a lot of links between them and Snap! Both made Eurodance music, both had UK No 1 singles, both had a rapper in their ranks who did their US military service in Germany (Jay Supreme and Turbo B) and both had a revolving door policy for female vocalists. And they were both crap of course.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1MobyMove (You Make Me Feel So Good)No
2DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh PrinceBoom! Shake The RoomLiked it, didn’t buy it
3BjörkVenus As A BoyI did not
4JamesSometimes (Lester Pigott)No but I have it on their Best Of album
5Stone Temple PilotsPlushNah
6Guru featuring N’Dea DavenportTrust MeNegative
7TexasSo Called FriendNope
8ZhanéHey Mr. DJNot likely
9MotörheadAce Of SpadesI must have it on something surely?
10New OrderWorld (The Price Of Love)No
11Beverley CravenLove ScenesDidn’t happen
12Culture BeatMr. VainAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001d09x/top-of-the-pops-09091993