Bombalurina

TOTP 29 NOV 1990

Posted on April 22, 2021 by 80stastic

We’re back! After an unexpected but welcome week off from reviewing these TOTP repeats due to the BBC’s frankly bizarre decision to suspend BBC4 broadcasts due to the death of Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, the schedule has been rejigged so we haven’t missed any episodes as a result. Back in late November 1990, there was also a major news event (quite literally) as John Major became the new leader of the Conservative party and therefore the new UK Prime Minister following the demise of Thatcher.

Despite an apparent blanket ban on TOTP presenters going anywhere near the political shenanigans of the leadership contest the previous week, maverick host Nicky Campbell almost falls over himself trying to shoe horn in a John Major reference at every turn. “John Major or no John Major – as music shows go this is the nation’s premier – TOTP! Remember if you make it to No 10 here it’s good but it could be better….” he trills before introducing the show’s opening act Dream Warriors with “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style”.

I always quite liked this as I had their first single “Wash Your Face in My Sink”. They certainly had some intriguing song titles this Canadian duo – you had to give them that at least. Heavily sampling Quincy Jones’s “Soul Bossa Nova” (and therefore bringing it to the attention of UK audiences some 7 years before Mike Myers did via his Austin Powers* series of films), this had a similar vibe (did I really just write that?!) to its predecessor and worked pretty well I thought and crucially sounded nothing like the titular jazz (or at least my definition of it). But what was their definition? Well, they mention ‘jazz’, ‘funk’ and ‘a new blend’ in the lyrics but ultimately inform us at the end of the second verse that ‘there is no definition’. Huh.

And what was with the staffs the pair have in their hands throughout this performance? They put me in mind of Morgan fromThe Walking Dead especially with those coats on that Nicky Campbell makes a big deal of at the end of the song. Dream Warriors released an album with both hits on called “And Now The Legacy Begins” but after the use of the term ‘legacy fans’ in relation to the wanky European Super League concept this week, let’s not go there.

“My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” peaked at No 13.

* I never got the whole Austin Powers phenomenon – I just found the whole wretched thing totally unfunny.

I have zero recall of the next song – “Missing You” by Soul II Soul anyone? Apparently it was the third single to be lifted from their second album “Vol. II: 1990 – A New Decade” and would peak at No 22. That whole album was recorded without Caron Wheeler involved and so some guest vocalists were employed – this single featured ‘The First Lady of House Music’ Kym Mazelle, probably best known at this point for her duet with Dr Robert from the Blow Monkeys on “Wait” in 1989. Well, either that or for being name checked in The Beloved’s “Hello” hit from earlier in the year.

Listening to it now, it does sound remarkably similar in tempo and style to their “Keep on Movin'” hit which was a deduction that the music press of the time also came to. Seeing the lyrics written down, the opening lines sound absolutely filthy…

Ooh, yeah
You’re the sweetest
Yeah, baby
Oh, yes, you are
You’re the sweetest
Yes, baby, ooh…

…but despite a Marvin Gaye “Sexual Healing” sample thrown into the mix, they don’t sound quite as obscene on the record. We would not see Soul II Soul in the charts for the whole of 1991 but they would return the following year with their album “Volume III Just Right”.

Right what’s this nonsense? That Megabass shite again? This was just shameless marketing on behalf of record label Telstar for one of their dance compilation albums. Supposedly, somebody wrote into Smash Hits enquiring about them:

“Who are Megabass? They’ve had a record in the charts for a couple of weeks now but I haven’t seen any pictures of them and I don’t know anything about them. Could you enlighten me?”

That letter was written by one M.Sharpe from Kent. Yeah right. Totally made up! Probably Telstar bought some space in the magazine for extra exposure. Why would anybody have wanted to see photos of two remixers who were from the same stable as those Jive Bunny arses? Unbelievably, Smash Hits did include a picture of them in their reply – two young fellas one of whom looked a bit like Spandau Ballet’s Gary Kemp from the side. Probably some Shutterstock image of random male models. What a total sham!

“Time To Make The Floor Burn” peaked at No 16.

Oh come on! After that Megabass rubbish we move onto a novelty song! Who’s doing was this?! Simon Mayo?! I should have known. That guy had previous for generating Top 40 hits out of nothing other than his massive ego and his Breakfast Show platform to convince dullard listeners that what they really needed in their lives was to own a copy of “Kinky Boots” by Patrick Macnee and Honor Blackman. Yes, not content with having foisted “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” on us the previous Xmas, he was at it again with a song that the public had clearly rejected twice already. It failed to be a hit when originally released in 1964 and a re-release in 1983 did nothing either. That wasn’t going to stop Mayo though who clearly believed he was radio’s version of King Midas who could turn anything to gold (or at least a Top 10 hit). Quite why Avengers stars Macnee and Blackman recorded this originally I’m not sure (to promote their TV show I guess). On top of everything else , it completely creepy. The bit when Macnee says ‘sexy little schoolgirls’ with almost breathless excitement?! Just horrible. Mercifully, the song is quite short – just one minute and thirty seven seconds long. Phew!

Meathead Mayo was at it again in 1991 when he got Monty Python’s “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” to No 3 in the charts whilst “Kinky Boots” made it to No 5.

Who?! Dimples D?! Nope, I’ve got nothing. I’m not having a good week recall wise. I think it might be linked to the fact that though I was working in a record shop at this point, which you would have thought would have only improved my memory of the charts at this time, the store (Our Price in Market Street, Manchester) had two trading floors and I worked mainly on the ground floor where the albums were. Down in the basement (where all the cool members of staff hung out) was where the singles were at so I didn’t actually get to sell many of them. That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking to that.

It turns out that Dimples (real name Crystal Smith) had recorded this track back in 1983 as “Sucker DJ’s (I Will Survive)” but it hadn’t achieved amy meaningful success. Fast forward 7 years and ubiquitous remixer Ben Liebrand got his mits on it, added a sample of the theme tune to I Dream of Jeannie* to it, called it “Sucker DJ (A Witch for Love)”and boom! A hit all over Europe, Australia and New Zealand. It’s actually not that dissimilar to the show’s opening song “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” in that it’s a rap over a very familiar sample.

*I was always more of a Bewitched fan than I Dream of Jeannie – I’m talking US fantasy sitcom series and not Irish all girl groups obviously.

Now I do remember this! Chris Isaak had been around for years making his twangy, moody guitar music with the added ingredient of his falsetto vocals and yet he was totally unknown over here (well, I’d never heard of him at least). “Wicked Game” appeared as a fully formed, instant classic as Xmas 1990 approached and Chris himself was causing many a heart to flutter. Almost the entire female staff of the Our Price store I was working in seemed to have fallen under his spell as had my wife.

When I think of Chris Isaak, David Lynch comes to mind immediately but I had forgotten the details of why. It is, of course, because he had featured two of Isaak’s songs in his disturbing Blue Velvet film whilst an instrumental version of “Wicked Game” had been included in his Wild At Heart flick. Lynch was already making waves at this time with Twin Peaks and indeed he would ultimately cast Isaak with a major role in that series’ film prequel Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. So quite the connection between the two really. Chris has had sporadic acting roles including a small role in The Silence Of The Lambs. However, my favourite role of his film wise is as Uncle Bob in That Thing You Do! where he pretty much just does some hand clapping.

Back to “Wicked Game” and I have a memory of being asked constantly for his album which, as Nicky Campbell advises in his intro, was called “Heart Shaped World” which of course we didn’t stock as it had done nothing in the UK at that point. After a David Lynch obsessed Atlanta radio station music director played “Wicked Game” and created an irresistible demand for the track and made it a chart hit, record label Reprise did what any right thinking record label would do and shoved out some more material into the market place. A compilation album also called “Wicked Game” containing 11 songs from Isaak’s three albums was released and the track listing was compiled by Phil Knox-Roberts of WEA UK. Why do I mention him? Well, I worked with his brother Paul around this time. ‘Knoxy’ was an Our Price legend and the supplier of many a great tale. One of my favourites was when I played in a football game with him as part of an Our Price team versus a record company reps team at Preston North End’s ground. Knoxy was very proud of his quiff that he had cultivated at this time and when he went down following a collision with an opposition player clutching his head and shouting in pain, we all feared a dreadful injury. As we gathered around him concerned, he stood up, shook his head and said “Does my hair look alright?”. Again, that’s my version of the story and I’m sticking to that.

“Wicked Game” (the single) peaked at No 10.

Now I don’t often agree with much that Nicky Campbell had to say in these TOTP appearances of his but I think he was on the money with his intro to the next act. “The new album “Behaviour” has songs that will be remembered for a long time…here’s one of them “Being Boring”, the Pet Shop Boys“. Widely acknowledged amongst the duo’s fan base as their best ever song, it was seen at the time as very much a downturn in commercial fortunes. It stalled at No 20, their first single since 1986’s “Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)” not to make the Top 10 and, at the time, their lowest peaking hit ever. Proving however that wise, old theory that popularity does not great art make, “Being Boring” could well be said to be the perfect pop song. If I’m honest, I wasn’t saying that at the time. It kind of passed me by a bit and I’d preferred lead single from the album “So Hard”. I wasn’t alone in this view. Writing in Smash Hits, Miranda Sawyer dismissed it as an album track. We were both wrong.

“Being Boring” is a template for great songwriting. From the lyrics to the minor chord sequence to the understated yet perennial melody, all bang on the money. Those aforementioned lyrics don’t refer specifically to themselves (as I thought at the time) but they do tell an autobiographical tale of Neil Tennant’s teenage parties through to going to seek fame and fortune in London and the self-realisation of what that meant once achieved. Intertwined in it all is the story of how his childhood friend who had moved to London with him would ultimately die of AIDS. I’m not sure if I’m making too much of this but in their “Pop Art” compilation album of 2003, “Being Boring” is included on the ‘Art’ CD whereas some of their biggest hits such as “It’s A Sin”, “Heart” and “Suburbia” are all on the ‘Pop’ disc. For what it worth, I very much agree with the track listing here. It does seem to be more than just pop.

If all that sounds too heavy, then I’ll lighten the mood. Why did Neil turn up for this performance dressed as Inspector Gadget?

The phrase ‘from the sublime to the ridiculous’ has never been so appropriate as to describe the segue from Pet Shop Boys to the next act who are Bombalu-f*****g-rina! Yes, the hideous concoction that was Timmy Mallett and Andrew Lloyd Webber didn’t even have the good grace to be a one hit wonder. Wankers!

“Seven Little Girls Sitting In The Backseat” (originally a hit for The Avons in 1959) followed the exact same formula as “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” even down to the insertion of the same ‘Ah Yeah’ sample and ‘Wooh! Yeah!’ loop. The only difference that I can see is that the act seems to have grown an extra peroxide blonde backing singer (presumably to make up the numbers as one of the titular seven little girls).

Bombalurina‘s version peaked at No 18 and that, praise be, was the last we would see of this whole, sorry undertaking.

It’s a new No 1 as Vanilla Ice storms to the top of the charts with “Ice Ice Baby”. Watching this back it inevitably looks very dated (as so it should at over 30 years old) and yet at least one thing about Vanilla Ice lasted longer than his music career. Was this the first time that we saw the shaved eyebrow look? Wasn’t that a big thing throughout the 90s and beyond? Is it still a thing now? Look, I’m a 52 year old middle aged man so I have no idea about what is fashionable now – I don’t even know the current phrase that young people use to mean something is fashionable (‘on trend’ maybe?) – but I know shaved eyebrows were a definite thing…erm..at sometime.

I’m pretty sure the aforementioned Knoxy liked this one if only for the “Rollin’ in my 5.0” lyric speaking of which, the “Yo VIP, let’s kick it” opening line? The VIP part stood for the Vanilla Ice Posse (of course it did). A bit like Elvis and his entourage having TCB rings that were an acronym for Taking Care of Business then? Except much, much lamer obviously.

Hands up who can name a Deee-Lite song that isn’t “Groove Is In The Heart”? Yup, pretty much none of us then. They do have other songs of course – here’s one now. “Power Of Love” (surely one of the most used title in pop music history) was the follow up to that mighty dance anthem and I have to admit to not remembering at all how this one went. And then I listened to it again and thought ‘that sounds familiar’ and it was for good reason – the chorus hook bears an uncanny resemblance to Madonna’s “Rescue Me”.

So did Deee-Lite influence Madonna or was it the other way round? They were both released (and presumably recorded) around the same time so it’s hard to say. Or is it just one of those massive coincidences that life throws up occasionally? Whatever the true story, what we do know is that “Power Of Love” was Deee-Lite’s last ever trip to the UK Top 40, peaking at No 25.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Dream Warriors	My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style	I think I have this on something but I didn’t buy the single at the time
2	Soul II Soul	Missing You	I was quite happy to miss out on this one – no
3	Megabass	Time To Make The Floor Burn	Putting this record on the bonfire was too good for it
4	Patrick Macnee and Honor Blackman	Kinky Boots	Stinky boots more like! This reeked! No
5	Dimples D	Sucker DJ	No
6	Chris Isaak	Wicked Game	I think my wife had the tape of the “Wicked Game” compilation album once upon a time but no idea where it would be now
7	Being Boring	Pet Shop Boys	Not the single but it’s on that Pop Art Best Of CD I have
8	Bombalurina	Seven Little Girls Sitting In The Back Seat	They might as well have been shitting in the back seat because this was a turd of a record – NO!
9	Vanilla Ice	Ice Ice baby	No No baby
10	Deee-Lite	Power Of Love	Nope

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000ty1n/top-of-the-pops-29111990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

TOTP 06 SEP 1990

Posted on March 3, 2021 by 80stastic

We’ve finally left the long, hot Summer of 1990 behind (well almost) as we move into September of that year here at TOTP Rewind. However, the BBC were probably not fully focussed on their flagship popular music show this particular week as the day after this TOTP aired, we saw the return to our screens of one of Auntie Beeb’s jewel-in-the-crown shows from back in the day. The Generation Game had been off TV for nearly the whole of the 80s before it was revitalised in the new decade for a run of series between 1990 and 1994. Our family had been avid watchers back in the 70s when I was growing up and Saturdays would be a regular diet of the football scores on Grandstand followed by hiding behind the sofa with Dr Who and then Brucie Forsyth in that once hallowed early evening light entertainment slot with Anthea Redfearn giving us a twirl before a cuddly toy on the conveyor belt at the show’s climax. Even when Brucie left, the show continued to flourish under the stewardship of new host Larry Grayson who pulled in an audience of 25 million on one occasion. By the early 80s though, ITV had upped its game and The Generation Game was being whopped by Game For A Laugh (which I never really got on board with) and was axed after Grayson decided to leave the show.

What has all this got to do with the charts of September 1990? I would love to be able to say that “Cuddly Toy” by Roachford was in the charts but that occurrence had already happened back in early ’89. How about there being a Bruce in the Top 40 courtesy of Mr Springsteen? Sadly no. However, as with the comeback of The Generation Game, this TOTP also sees the return of two acts that were mostly synonymous with a different era of music – OK it was only the recently departed 80s but that was still in the past yeah?

And talking of the return of a golden oldie, we start with Adamski and his latest hit “The Space jungle”. What? Adamski? He was one of the hottest stars of dance music on the planet back in 1990 wasn’t he? He’d just had a massive No 1 in “Killer” and his latest single has a groovy, futuristic title? How on earth does he qualify as a golden oldie? Alright, calm down. It wasn’t Admaski I was referring to per se but his new single. Despite its title, it was actually just a cover version of the old Elvis hit “All Shook Up”. Admittedly, it was a bit out there with the added house piano motifs and rapping courtesy of Ricardo da Force but a cover version of an old 50s rock ‘n’ roll number none the less. As I said, a golden oldie.

So the obvious question about this release was why? When quizzed about it in a Smash Hits interview, Adamski (real name Adam Tinley) said that the track had started life as an instrumental but when performing it at Glastonbury he just started singing “All Shook Up”. ‘I think it must have been a message from Elvis from the grave’ he quipped.

I wasn’t taken by this track at all I’m afraid. The juxtaposition of Elvis and house music was too much for me to process but plenty of punters bought the single sending it to No 7. However, it would be Adamski’s final ever Top 40 hit. Of course, this wasn’t to be the last we saw of an Elvis song receiving the dance-it-up treatment. In 2002, Dutch musician Tom Holkenborg aka Junkie XL or JXL took a version of “A Little Less Conversation” all the way to No 1. And that, Adamski, is how you do a remix of Elvis.

“Now Mariah Carey is a 20 year old singer songwriter from New York City” states tonight’s host Jakki Brambles and it’s interesting to note that she has to advise the watching millions at home who she is – Mariah that is not herself. Yes, there was a time when we didn’t know all about Ms.Carey and that time was 1990. To be fair, “Vision Of Love” was her debut single so we didn’t have much to go on. She would of course become one of the biggest singers on the planet in due course. What is also interesting about that intro is the description of Mariah as a songwriter which I think probably gets overlooked – I’m pretty sure I haven’t given it much thought before now. As far as I can tell though, she writes all her own lyrics and contributes to the music on every track of her albums and yet I’m betting that songwriter isn’t the first thing we think about when we hear the name Mariah Carey. There’s her voice and vocal range to start with, then there’s the diva reputation, her sex symbol status, her gay icon standing….does songwriter come behind all of these things? Seems a bit unfair. I’m sure if you’re a huge Mariah fan (do they have a collective noun?) then you would maybe have her ability to craft songs higher up the list.

“Vision Of Love” peaked at No 9 in the UK but was the first of four consecutive No 1 records all taken from her debut album in the US.

Not sure if a hit from four years previous counts as being an ‘oldie’ but this next tune was certainly golden. Talk Talk were back in the Top 40 for a second time in 1990 due to the commercial success of their “Natural History: The Very Best of Talk Talk” album. After “It’s My Life” earlier in the year, it was the turn of “Life’s What You Make It” to get the re-issue treatment this time. The difference between the two was that the former had never been a Top 40 hit in its initial release but the latter had already made No 16 when first in the charts back in 1986. Whilst not quite scaling those heights a second time around, its No 23 placing wasn’t bad going. The Best Of album itself was a huge success rising to No 3 in the charts which for a band that never even had a solitary Top 10 single was remarkable. EMI would try and repeat their “It’s My Life” trick of making a hit out of an initial flop record when they re-released yet another single to promote the album in “Such a Shame” which is a great song but it was a release too far and it stalled at No 78, a whopping 29 places further down the charts than its 1984 initial outing.

Within two years and after one final very experimental album, Talk Talk would disband. Lead singer Mark Hollis would pretty much retire from the music business, releasing just one solo album in 1998. Sadly, he died just over two years ago at the age of 64. Talk Talk, however, remain one of the most influential groups of their era.

Ooh now, in contrast to all this golden oldie stuff, here comes a brand new group! Except that…. they weren’t brand new as The Farm had been around since 1983, releasing numerous independent singles before hooking up with Suggs from Madness who produced their next single, a cover of “(I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone”, the old hit by The Monkees. This brought them national attention when it peaked at No 58 in the charts. Wearing their Liverpudlian credentials on their sleeves, the band were very much associated with a ‘lads’ culture of music and football and were often referred to as a ‘scally’ band, a term they rejected in favour of something they called ‘urchin rock’ (I don’t think that ever took off as a genre did it?).

The release of “Groovy Train” saw them go mainstream with the single gatecrashing the Top 10 before peaking at No 6. Its musical style was very much in line with the sound of the year – that baggy/indie dance movement – and would pave the way for their next and biggest single “All Together Now” which would go Top 3 later in the year. The buzz around their debut album on a major label (“Spartacus”) was enormous by this point. I can clearly recall that the two pre-release albums we got asked most about when I joined Our Price in late 1990 were “Doubt” by Jesus Jones and “Spartacus” both of which would top the charts when released in 1991.

Liverpool set soap Brookside played a part in the band’s fortunes. The guy who played grumpy old git Harry Cross in the show starred in the promo video for “Groovy Train” but I’m sure that the character of Sammy Rogers wore a “Groovy Train” t-shirt in one episode as well.

As it’s the first show of the new month, we get that weird Top 5 albums feature again. For the record, the best selling albums of August 1990 were:

1. Elton John – “Sleeping With The Past”

2. New Kids On The Block – “Step By Step”

3. Phil Collins – “…But Seriously”

4. Luciano Pavarotti – “The Essential Luciano Pavarotti”

5. Madonna – “I’m Breathless”

None of this is very interesting except for the footnote maybe of TOTP actually playing a single that didn’t ever make it into the Top 40. Yes, the video used to promote Elton John’s “Sleeping With The Past” album was for his current single “Club At The End Of The Street” which peaked at No 47. Had that ever happened before or since?

Right who’s next? Well it’s Caron Wheeler with “Livin’ in the Light“. Caron, of course, was the voice and very much the public face on two of Soul II Soul’s biggest hits in “Keep on Movin'” and “Back to Life (However Do You Want Me)”. So why the solo career move? Here’s Caron herself in a Smash Hits interview on that subject:

“Soul II Soul was always really a collective but I was always a featured artist. A lot of people misconceived it as being my group. Within themselves, it’s like a family with certain key members who were always there but I was never really part of that family.”

Oh OK, so a bit like Beats International then. In fact, you could say Caron was the Lindy Layton of Soul II Soul…or should that be Lindy Layton was the Caron Wheeler of Beats International? Anyway, as Jakki Brambles rightly says, “Livin’ in the Light” was Caron’s debut hit single and taken from her album “UK Blak”. To my uncultured ears it didn’t sound that different to that Soul II Soul sound she had left behind or was that just because she was the singer on those songs so it was always going to be a little bit reminiscent of her past? Great things were predicted for Caron and although the album sold well enough, she only returned to the Top 40 singles chart once more (literally at No 40) with the album’s title track. She seemed to spend the next 30 odd years rejoining and then subsequently leaving the Soul II Soul family at various intervals. I’m sure she’s done lots of other things but if you check her Wikipedia entry, that’s the impression you get.

“Livin’ in the Light” peaked at No 14.

“Just deee-lovely and delicious”…yes it’s Deee-Lite (three ‘e’s in the spelling or no points) with their dance floor banger “Groove Is In The Heart”. Is it fair that they are still very much seen (in this country at least) as one hit wonders? Let’s examine the evidence:

Exhibit A (m’lud): They actually had another Top 40 hit in this country in “Power of Love” / “Build The Bridge” which was the follow up to “Groove Is In The Heart” and peaked at No 25.

Judge: Erm..I see. Well, case closed then.

Except that doesn’t really tell the whole story of what happened to Deee-Lite. Why didn’t they go on to dominate the dance music landscape for years with their brand of innovative yet supremely infectious sound? Was it internal strife within the band? Or the emergence of grunge perhaps? Something else altogether or both of these things? Well, their album “World Clique” sold steadily, eventually securing gold sales of 100,000 units but the two subsequent albums released over the next four years shifted vastly reduced quantities. Apparently group member Towa Tei wasn’t into the touring aspect of the band at all causing divisions within the trio whilst his musical interests moved away from the Deee-Lite manifesto. Meanwhile, Lady Miss Kier and DJ Dmitry’s relationship finished around 1994 which maybe had something to do with the group’s demise. Whatever the reasons behind their story, a little bit of 1990 (nay the whole decade) will always belong to Deee-Lite and their calling card “Groove Is In The Heart”.

Definitely back on the golden oldie theme now as we welcome back an act who we haven’t heard from for five years according to Jakki Brambles. Except that isn’t strictly true. What Jakki should have said is that Loose Ends hadn’t been on TOTP in the last five years. They had actually been making and releasing music in the interim period, it was just that their commercial fortunes had dipped a bit. Back in 1985, Loose Ends were the darlings of the UK R&B scene with hits like “Hangin’ on a String (Contemplating)” and “Magic Touch”. However, of the seven singles released after these hits, only one breached the UK Top 40 (and presumably wasn’t chose by the TOTP producers to appear on the show). Their 1988 album “The Real Chuckeeboo” only made it to No 52 in the charts. It was a different story across the pond though where they continued to chalk up hits on the US R’n’B charts. Over here though it was a case of out of sight, out of mind.

Good old musical differences took hold and members Steve Nichol and Jane Eugene left leaving Carl McIntosh as the only original member (Jakki was on the money with that info). Undeterred, he returned with a new line up and new album called “Look How Long” of which “Don’t Be A Fool” was its lead single supposedly about his previous band mates (see also “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)” by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel). The single restored their chart fortunes but it proved to also be a final hurrah with “Look How Long” being the last studio album released under the Loose Ends name. Mackintosh would go onto produce many an artist including …yes…Caron Wheeler. I love it when a post comes together like that! Talk about tying up loose ends!

It’s a third week at No 1 for Bombalurina and “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini“. When will this nightmare be over? Please let this be the last week of this nonsense. This time we get the hitherto unseen promo video on the show. Ok, let’s see what that was like then. I’m not expecting much….

…well, unsurprisingly it’s basically a young woman in a skimpy yellow polka dot bikini. She’s joined on the fake beach scene by those ever present two blonde dancers throwing some shapes whilst Timmy Mallett lounges around on a hammock. It’s shockingly bad, redeemed only slightly by Mallett falling off said hammock in the final freeze frame.

The awfulness of the video should have been the fart pebble on the top of this particular shitcake but there’s a side story that even steals that crap-olade. So bad were Mallett’s vocals that they had to get someone else in to record them. Look at this:

In 2008, teacher Everton Barnes (a budding R&B singer back in 1990) claimed that he sang on "Itsy Bitsy…", not Timmy Mallett. "When they got him into the studio, his voice was as flat as a pancake. I sang the whole vocal track and Timmy's was shunted into the background." #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) February 26, 2021

1990 – hang your head in shame.

The play out video is “Black Cat” by Janet Jackson. This was the sixth of an incredible seven singles lifted from her “Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814” album and for my money, this was the best one. Very much in an all out rock vein as opposed to her more urban dance pop numbers, it was also the highest charting of those seven singles in the UK. It was Janet’s third No 1 hit from the album in the US making her the first solo artist to achieve two No 1 hits over there in the 1990s. Further accolades came in the shape of a Grammy Award nomination in the category of Best Female Rock Vocal Performance. Although losing out to Alannah Myles for “Black Velvet”, Janet became the first artist to earn nominations across all five categories of Pop, Dance, Rock, Rap,and R&B for the same song.

However, the first thing that I think of every time I hear “Black Cat” is nothing to do with awards and laurels but relates to my early days at Our Price. There was a guy working in the Manchester store that I started in called Mark who put this on the shop stereo and spent a good few minutes just playing the panther growl sound effect at the very start of the track and skipping back to it constantly so that all anyone in the shop could hear was this repeated loop of a panther snarling. Pretty much cleared the shop which was the whole point as it was nearly closing time and we all wanted to go home.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWofKkmKEwM

If you really want to watch the whole show over, somebody has helpfully added it in its entirety to YouTube. Fill your boots!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV4C0y-hKjM

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Adamski	The Space Jungle	Nah
2	Mariah Carey	Vision Of Love	Nope
3	Talk Talk	Life’s What You Make It	Not the single but I have it on a Best Of of theirs somewhere I think
4	The Farm	Groovy Train	No but I easily could have
5	Caron Wheeler	Livin’ In The Light	Not my bag at all
6	Deee-Lite	Groove Is In The Heart	Where’s my copy of this?! I must have bought this surely?!
7	Loose Ends	Don’t Be A Fool	See 5 above
8	Bombalurina	Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini	How does f**k off sound as an answer?
9	Janet Jackson	Black Cat	Don’t think I did

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

TOTP 30 AUG 1990

Posted on February 26, 2021 by 80stastic

Right, I’m against the clock a bit for this post so it’s going to have to be a speedy run through and a low word count. Helpfully, six of the nine acts have already been on the show and therefore already commented on. So who’s up first? Aswad? No! They weren’t still having hits by this point were they? It feels like I am literally listening to “Next To You” for the very first time as I have zero memory of the track. Wikipedia tells me this was the lead single from an album called “Too Wicked” (terrible, terrible title) and its seems to be their usual bouncy, reggae infused summery tune (well they are ‘always the sound of sunshine’ according to host Mark Goodier) until there’s some sort of break down near the song’s end when they attempt a rap – it all sounds very incongruous. And talking of incongruous, three keytars?! Really?!

Last week I mentioned that Cliff Richard was in the charts with a live track recorded at his 1989 The Event concert held at Wembley Stadium. Now apparently, Aswad were part of the concert’s supporting cast (not sure why) and Cliff joined them on stage for a song called “Share A Dream”. Nothing especially interesting about this (unless you are a massive Aswad or Cliff fan I guess) except…what is Cliff wearing for his stage costume in this clip of them performing together? It looks like something his Mum might have crocheted for him. Just bizarre.

“Next To You” peaked at No 24 but they would return to the Top 5 four years later with surprise hit “Shine”.

“There’s a lady over there who always smiles when she’s performing. I’ve never ever seen her doing anything but smile…” says Mark Goodier in his intro for the next act. “… and she has a new hit called “End Of The World” he continues. Talk about an incongruous (it’s that word again) juxtaposition of themes! Still smiling even though it’s the end of the word is she Mark? The lady in question is of course Sonia who’s in the studio this week after being a Breaker video on the last show. She gives a very un-Sonia like performance though. I guess jumping around and doing those shoulder roll dance moves of hers wasn’t going to cut it for a song which is the musical equivalent of W.H. Auden’s ‘Funeral Blues’ poem (‘Stop all the clocks etc). Despite the attempts at solemn looks and moody pouts she does look like she is constantly struggling to suppress that beaming smile that Goodier talked of before declaring “Hiya chuck. It’s me Sonia! I’m dead made up to be in the charts again!”.

Sonia’s version of “End Of The World” peaked at No 18.

Goodier goes into full on cringe mode next. “Well, we’ve had some bright pop from Aswad and what a lovely ballad from Sonia, now let”s rave it up with The KLF, this is a massive record, it’s called “What Time Is Love”. Rave it up?! Dearie me. He compounds the embarrassment by referring to the track as “a seriously happening record” at the end of the performance. Am I being harsh on Goodier? Were we all saying things like ‘rave it up’ back then? Were records ‘happening’? It sounds so dated to me now but maybe it was perfectly acceptable in 1990 and nobody would have batted an eyelid?

What was hard to ignore was the power of The KLF’s sound – now that doesn’t sound dated to me even today. The performance is an oddity though. They appear to have half inched a couple of keytars from Aswad whilst there appears to be an Ood from Doctor Who on the mixing desk at the back in the It’s Grim Up North T-shirt. Meanwhile all the air punching for the ‘Mu Mu’ chanting reminds me of their performance of “Doctorin’ The Tardis” by their previous incarnation The Timelords.

About a year prior to “What Time Is Love” being a chart hit, a compilation album called “The “What Time Is Love?” Story” featuring six different mixes of the track was released, all supposedly by different artists. However, rumours abound that it was all the work, in fact, of The KLF themselves. You wouldn’t put it past them, would you?

“Now It doesn’t matter why this record is back in the charts, it’s good that it is…” announces Goodier in his next link. He is of course referring to “The Joker” by the Steve Miller Band. Sounds like Goodier’s protesting a bit too much to me. Anyway, we all know why it was back in the charts, it was because of this advert…

…yes it was all down to jeans again. Levi’s had been making golden oldie songs hits all over again via their clever advertising campaigns since the mid 80s, revitalising the chart careers for the likes of Marvin Gaye, Percy Sledge, Ben E.King, Eddie Cochran and now Steve Miller. Unlike his posthumous predecessors, Steve was still alive (as he is to this day) to experience his resurgence in popularity.

“The Joker’ would be a No 1 record (just!) but Levi’s weren’t prepared to quit at the top. The 90s would see their adverts send multiple songs to the top spot including The Clash, Stiltskin and (god forbid) Babylon Zoo!

Goodier boldly announces that the next act is about to be a big star in America. I have to admit I don’t know if she ever was.

*checks internet*

Well, I’m not sure that Betty Boo did fulfil Goodier’s prediction. As far as I can see, none of her albums did anything across the pond and the only Billboard Hot 100 hit she had (“Doin’ The Do”) peaked at No 90. Maybe Goodier was basing his forecast on the fact that she did score a US Dance chart No1 (“Doin’ The Do” again) or maybe he was just told to say that by Betty’s record label?

In fairness to Goodier, Betty was never as big commercially as she was at this very point. “Where Are You Baby” was her biggest ever hit whilst her debut album (“Boomania”) released eleven days after this broadcast went to No 4. Betty succumbed to second album syndrome after that though and her follow up “Grrr! It’s Betty Boo” stalled at No 62 despite including some insanely catchy singles.

Special mention must go to Betty’s backing band here – were they called The Boosters? – for some stirling ‘arm dancing’ that Jo and Susan Ann of The Human League would have been proud of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N7QJYKzcqs

Still with New Kids On The Block?! Look, I know 1990 was their annus mirabilis but even so! It feels like they’ve been on the show every week since January. “Tonight” is up to No 3 now with its Beatles sounding steals but it’s not the the Liverpool legends that I’m noticing as their influences this week. Did the previously seen Steve Miller Band also have an impact on the writing of “Tonight”. How so? Well, in “The Joker”, Miller references a few songs that he has recorded himself like “Space Cowboy” from his “Brave New World” album and “Enter Maurice” from “Recall The Beginning…A Journey From Eden”. So? OK, in “Tonight”, past NKOTB hits are name checked:

Remember when we said “Girl, please don’t go”
And how I’d be loving you forever
Taught you ’bout hanging tough
As long as you’ve got the right stuff

See? Oh suit yourselves.

I actually paid some attention to the video this time around and by far the most close ups went to Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre. Presumably they sold the most T-shirts at their concerts. The rest of them didn’t get much of a look in. In fact, I’m not sure I even spotted Donnie Wahlberg at all! It reminded me of Duran Duran videos back in the day when it was easier to pinpoint Wally in the Where’s Wally series of puzzle books than to spot guitarist Andy Taylor.

After two acts at the peak of their popularity in Betty Boo and New Kids On The Block, we move to someone who is definitely on the slide. I don’t care what Mark Goodier says about his UK tour being sold out nor do I attach much significance to the screams coming from the TOTP studio audience (no doubt teased out of them by over enthusiastic floor staff), Jason Donovan‘s pop career had hit the skids. Only one of the singles released from his second album “Between The Lines” had gone Top 5; indeed his last hit had only just made the Top 20. Given his changing fortunes, a plan was needed to halt the downward trend. And that plan was….release a cover version of course. When in need of a hit, release a cover is something that is as irrefutable as death and taxes being the only sure things in life. “Rhythm Of The Rain” was originally a hit for The Cascades in 1963 and to be fair to Donovan’s record label PWL, it did arrest his plummeting chart fortunes by returning him to the Top 10 but it was a plaster to heal a gaping wound in truth.

Jase’s version is sugary and sickly sweet – really nasty actually but to be fair to him, the chords he mimes on the guitar in this performance appear to be legitimate. His bob haircut however is completely bogus.

As with Donovan’s 60s cover version, this week’s No 1 is also a cover of a song from that decade. “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini” was originally a hit for Brian Hyland in 1960. Thirty years later it was fiendishly brought back to life by the monstrous Timmy Mallett and Bombalurina although the real culprit was Andrew Lloyd Webber who had the original idea to re-record it.

The almost identical looking peroxide blonde dancers behind Mallett made the whole thing look like a comedy sketch parodying 1982 “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” hitmakers Tight Fit but unfortunately this wasn’t a joke but a genuine chart record. Those two dancers incidentally included Dawn Andrews who would go on to marry Take That’s Gary Barlow.

The play out video is “Now You’re Gone” by Whitesnake and as with Aswad at the top of the show, I don’t remember this at all. We hadn’t seen much of David Coverdale and co in the Top 40 since they peaked with “Is This Love” and “Here I Go Again” both going Top 10 back in 1987. In fact, they would only make the Top 40 once more after this when a re-issue of “Is This Love” to promote a Best Of album made No 25 in 1994. Can’t say I have missed them much.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzlPq9o5BR4

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Aswad	Next To You	There was next to no chance of me buying this
2	Sonia	End Of The World	If this was the last record in the world, I wouldn’t have bought it
3	The KLF	What Time Is Love (Live At Trancentral”	Nope
4	Steve Miller Band	The Joker	It’s a no
5	Betty Boo	Where Are You Baby	No
6	New Kids On The Block	Tonight	No but I think my friend Rachel did
7	Jason Donovan	Rhythm Of The Rain	Certainly not
8	Bombalurina	Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini	How does f**k off sound as an answer?
9	Whitesnake	Now You’re Gone	Nah

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000scg0/top-of-the-pops-30081990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 23 AUG 1990

Posted on February 25, 2021 by 80stastic

It’s late August in 1990 and the new football season is to kick off two days after this TOTP was broadcast. After a rousing performance by the England team at Italia ’90, the country seems to have fallen back in the love with the national game which is experiencing a surge in popularity as it rises phoenix like from the ashes of its nadir in the mid 80s. The same description could be applied to tonight’s opening act who are The Human League. After massive commercial success at the start of the previous decade with the “Dare” album, Phil, Suzanne, Jo and co struggled to replicate that commercial peak and 1984 follow up “Hysteria” was a big disappointment. Licking their wounds, they decamped to the US and hooked up with legendary R’n’B producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis for the 1986 “Human” single which was an American No 1 and retuned the band to the Top 10 in the UK. However, their resurrection proved to be a false dawn and by the end of the 80s, they were in massive decline. The dawn of the 90s saw the band regroup with a new line up and intentions to re-establish themselves in the pop hierarchy. “Heart Like A Wheel” was the lead single from new album “Romantic?” and whilst it did gain them entry back into the Top 40, it was hardly a glorious return to form. The single peaked at No 29 whilst the album struggled to a high of No 24. Its perceived failure led to their long time record label Virgin unceremoniously cancelling their recording contract and the band were out in the wilderness for five years before being picked up by EastWest Records and launching the most unlikely of comebacks just as Britpop was taking hold with the hit single “Tell Me When” and parent album “Octopus”.

Watching this performance back, the band do seem to be in the midst of an identity crisis. Apart from the fact that there were two new band members on view, the core trio of Oakey, Catherall and Sulley appear to be on very different pages image wise. Phil, in the days when he still had hair, has resorted to his early 80s shoulder length cut albeit without the lopsided bit on one side whilst Susan Ann has gone all rock chic with her golden, cascading tresses. Joanne has her hair up but part from that looks pretty much like she always did. Not a lot of cohesion going on there I would argue.

What? Oh the song? Well, to me it doesn’t sound that different to “Tell Me When” which would return them to the Top 10 in 1995. Clearly the 1990 record buying public wasn’t quite ready to embrace The Human League back into their lives at that point in history but give it five years guys. Nowadays of course, the group are stalwarts of the live circuit and indeed, I caught them in concert back in 2019 at an open air gig in Hull where they performed “Heart Like A Wheel” plus just about every other song you could have wished for from their back catalogue. The band were on good form but the crowd were seemingly more interested in getting annihilated on booze and other substances which kind of made for a bad atmosphere. It did strike me though that Joanne and Susan Ann had made a career from basically ‘arm-dancing’ for nearly 40 years – you know, all that rhythmic arm waving they do. It’s a living I suppose.

Move over Whitney Houston – you’ve got competition! Yes, there was a new kid on the block (not not them!) in the huge, pop/soul ballad stakes come 1990 when Mariah Carey appeared seemingly from nowhere with her debut single “Vision Of Love”. Little did we know then that this 20 year old would become one of the biggest selling artists of the whole decade. Not only did this track become her breakthrough commercial moment but it also provided Mariah with her first husband in Tommy Mottola, the then head of Columbia Records who signed her after he had heard the demo of “Vision Of Love” at a record company bash. Has anybody ever punched above their weight in the relationship/looks stakes more than Tommy Mottola?

Anyway, “Vision Of Love” was a huge hit (No 1 in the US and No 9 over here) and introduced us to Mariah’s legendary five-octave vocal range. Ah yes, that voice. The technical terms for her vocal stylings are ‘whistle register’ and ‘melisma’ otherwise known to some of us as screeching. Too harsh?! Ok, how about ‘warbling’? Look you know what I’m referring to – the Mariah Carey effect that influenced a generation of would be singing stars to over emphasise notes and prolong them just that bit too long. I’m not saying she can’t sing – clearly she can – but I always found that element to her vocals to be the wrong side of grating.

Despite the success of “Vision Of Love”, it took Mariah a while to establish herself in the UK. Follow up singles “Love Takes Time” and “Someday” barely made the Top 40 here whilst they were No 1 records in the US. Yes, the album sold well in the UK (300,000 units) but nowhere near what it did in the US where 9 million copies were sold. It wasn’t really until her 1993 album “Music Box” did she really start shifting massive numbers over here when the album went to No 1, went five times platinum and included the No 1 single “Without You”. Incidentally, if there was any fierce rivalry between Mariah and Whitney, there was a show of unity in 1998 when the pair duetted on the single “When You Believe” from the animated feature The Prince of Egypt.

OK, I’ve got nothing in the memory banks for this one. “Look Me In The Heart” by Tina Turner anyone? Apparently this was the fourth single to be released from her “Foreign Affair” album which was pushing it a bit considering the album was initially released just under 12 months previously. Unsurprisingly it didn’t do anywhere near as well as its predecessor singles peaking at No 31. Incredibly, record label Capitol didn’t think even that was enough fleecing of the public for one album and released a fifth single (“Be Tender with Me Baby”) in October.

As for “Look Me In The Heart” itself, apart from being completely banal it also has an embarrassingly awful title. Can you imagine two people being in the midst of an emotional discussion about the state of their relationship and one of them saying ‘Look me in the heart and say that’? I can’t – nobody would come out with that would they? They’d say ‘Look me in the eye…’ surely? Oh well, artistic licence and all that – maybe I’m missing the point. Sadly, Tina was not finished in the cringe stakes for 1990. By the end of the year she was back in the Top 5 duetting with Rod Stewart (!) on a version of “It Takes Two”. Come on Tina. You’re better than that. Look me in the heart* and tell me that wasn’t just money for old rope?

*Oh

My God! I’ve just realised that this particular TOTP includes two of the most heinous crimes against popular music on the same show! Not only do we have a complete git at No 1 (Timmy Mallett /Bombalurina) but incredibly, some 12 months after their first musical misdemeanour, it seemed that the UK record buying public still hadn’t had enough of Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers! You could possibly excuse one novelty record becoming a hit by blaming it on some sort fever that induced a national loss of taste but this was their fifth hit on the trot! What was happening to us? I can only assume that the success of “Can Can You Party” was the result of some illegal chart tactics that involved a massive buying in operation by unscrupulous record company reps.

The monsters behind Jive Bunny didn’t even see the need to tinker with the formula at all. It’s still just a load of hits of yesteryear cut and pasted together and then supported by a video featuring nonsensical and unrelated black and white footage with that f*****g horribly animated rabbit superimposed over the top. And talking of “It Takes Two” as we were before re: Tina Turner and Rod Stewart, if I thought that was bad, Jive Bunny declared ‘hold my beer’ and were involved in a version that featured Radio 1 DJs Liz Kershaw and Bruno Brookes! Thankfully that one didn’t make the charts unlike “Can Can You Party” which peaked at No 8.

Some Breakers now and we start with the Steve Miller Band. The only thing I knew about Mr Miller (and indeed his band) at the time was that song “Abracadabra” from 1982 which I hadn’t even liked that much. So what was this “The Joker” song and why was it in our charts? Well, it had been a No 1 record for the band in the US in 1974 but had never been a hit over here. Cue its strategically well placed use in a Levis advert and…I don’t ned to write anything else do I?

Much was made of the song’s lyrics and in particular the phrase ‘the pompatus of love’. What was that when it was home? Here’s @TOTPFacts with the answer…

What the hell is "the pompatus of love"? Miller heard this nonsense word in "The Letter" by doo-wop band The Medallions, which includes the lyric, "Let me whisper sweet words of dismortality and discuss the pompatus of love". https://t.co/FfdpU92eoX #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) February 19, 2021

Oh, OK – thanks. Anyway, some of the other lyrics, referenced songs including Miller’s own “Space Cowboy” (nothing to do with Jamiroquai then) and The Clovers’ 1954 song “Lovey Dovey” whilst I’m guessing we all knew what he meant by being a ‘midnight toker’.

“The Joker” would go onto become involved in one of the most controversial chart battles ever when it went up against Deee-Lite (more of whom later) and their “Groove Is In The Heart” single for the No 1 spot. Supposedly sales for each single were so tight that a dead heat was called and using a rule that had never been instigated previously, “The Joker” was instilled a the No 1 song that week on account of its sales having increased most from the previous week. This ruling was disputed by Deee-Lite’s record company WEA and it was subsequently scrapped. Chart compilers Gallup later released data that showed that the Steve Miller Band had sold a mere 8 (EIGHT) copies more than Deee-Lite and so were the rightfully crowned chart toppers. All seemed a bit of a rum do to me. Jive Bunny probably had something to do with it as well!

Right, after all that controversy, we need something relaxing to calm us down and here’s a track that fits that particular bill well. “Release Me” by Wilson Phillips was their follow up to smash hit “Hold On” and it sounded like it. It was almost exactly the same song! OK, its got a slightly slower bpm to it and they all seem to sing the whole song in harmony unlike its predecessor which I think had separate vocal parts but its pretty damn similar. For once the record buying public were too aware than to fall for the ‘buying the same song twice’ trick again and it only made No 36 on the UK Top 40. Our American counterparts however had no such discernment and sent it to No 1 for the second consecutive chart topper after “Hold On”.

Look out! It’s “The End of the World”! Not literally of course but this version of the old Skeeter Davis song by Sonia did signify the end of something – this was her last ever single with Stock, Aitken and Waterman. It was also the last single released from her “Everybody Knows” album and after four high tempo, poppy hits before this point, a slowie was well overdue. Sonia had dipped her toe in the ballad market recently with her collaboration with Big Fun on the Childline charity single “You’ve Got a Friend” but this was her first time in that territory on her own. It’s a decent choice of song but Sonia’s version is hardly dripping with the emotion of the original and sounds more mechanical than melancholic in comparison.

I could have sworn that Cilla Black did a version of this (which would have made even more sense of the decision to get scouser Sonia to record it) but she didn’t. I think I was getting confused with “You’re My World”. My abiding memory of Sonia’s version is hearing it piped over the instore sound system in Debenhams in Hull some weeks later. I was back working there as a Xmas temp (after my legendary stint as stand in Father Christmas the year before!) but I knew I had a job at Our Price waiting for me to start in October so I wasn’t there long this time. And no I didn’t let on to Debenhams that I would be leaving as I needed a few weeks work before I could start at my record shop ‘career’ and deliberately misled them. If, by any remote chance, any management from Debenhams in Hull from circa 1990 are reading this, I am so sorry but let’s face it, it wasn’t the end of the world.

That time worn pop tradition of a singer leaving a band to court solo fame was still in evidence as the 90s began. After Nick Heyward leaving Haircut 100, Limahl departing Kajagoogoo and George Michael leaving Wham! behind in the 80s, here comes Lindy Layton ditching Beats International to pursue independence. To be fair, she wasn’t kicked out of the band like Heyward and Limahl were – it was much more amicable by all accounts (Norman Cook even helped produce her debut solo album “Pressure”) but jump ship she did after Cook et al had given her an initial pop platform. It seemed to be the right move when she scored an immediate hit with a cover of Janet Kay’s “Silly Games” teaming up with …erm…Janet Kay to do so. However, subsequent single releases from “Pressure” all failed to dent the Top 40 and by 1993 she did what many others previously had done to revive a career – came calling at Stock, Aitken and Waterman’s door (well, they did have a Sonia sized vacancy on their artists’ roster to fill). Two SAW singles failed to do much business chart-wise and Lindy had all but disappeared from the pop world by the mid 90s.

You can tell from this TOTP performance that this was meant to be a new start for Lindy – she’s got a new short hairstyle and changed her wardrobe dramatically from her Beats International appearance. Her version of “Silly Games” was pretty slick as well. She looked a good bet for a prolonged solo career at this point. Ah, the fickle nature of pop – silly old game innit?

In 1990, Cliff Richard was celebrating the 30th anniversary of his recording career and to commemorate this milestone, he released a live album called “From A Distance: The Event” which was recorded in June 1989 at his The Event concert, held at Wembley Stadium over two nights. Cliff’s version of “Silhouettes“, a No 3 hit for Herman’s Hermits in 1965, was plucked from said album to promote it. It reached No 10 in the UK Top 40. It is also, undeniably, horrible. Not content with inflicting this upon us, the album also contained his next Xmas No 1 in “Saviour’s Day”. Have you ever seen such cruelty?!

I’m guessing that the next tune was intended by the band’s record company as a stop gap release between albums to maintain their profile. It ended up becoming their biggest ever hit. Deacon Blue‘s only release this calendar year so far had been their New Year anthem “Queen Of The New Year” back in …erm…January as the fifth and final single from their “When The World Knows Your Name” album. With the rich seams of tunes having been exhausted from that album and the new one not to be released until June 1991, something was needed to ensure fickle pop fans didn’t forget about them in the meantime. The answer of course was a cover version (the answer is always a cover version) but Deacon Blue took things further by releasing an EP of four Burt Bacharach and Hal David songs called… well….the “Four Bacharach & David Songs” EP.

The track that got all the airplay though was “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again”. There was something about the crystal clean production and the vocals of Ricky Ross and Lorraine McIntosh that bewitched UK pop fans to purchase it in enough quantities to send it all the way to No 2. I was one of them. This EP of cover versions idea obviously resonated with Everything But The Girl who released their own EP in 1992 featuring “Love Is Strange”, Bruce Springsteen’s “Tougher Than The Rest”, Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” and Elvis Costello’s “Alison”. I bought that as well.

As for Deacon Blue, although it would be harsh to say this was the pinnacle of their popularity, they would only have one more Top 10 single in their career although they continue to tour and record new material to this very day with their last album “Riding On The Tide Of Love” being released *performs some basic maths calculation* 20 days ago!

If Jive Bunny was the bread in this show’s shit sandwich, here comes the filling and it really reeks! Timmy Mallett / Bombalurina have leapt to No 1 with “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini” and consequently he’s been invited back on the show for another studio performance. What makes it all the worse is that Mallett seems to take it seriously in that he mimes the lines correctly and has learnt his little dance moves. If he’s done it all a bit more free form and tongue-in-cheek ,would it have been less odious? Nah, you’re right. Nothing could save this turd from stinking the place out.

The play out video is a huge tune. Sorry, that should be HUUUUGE TUUUUNE! Appearing fully formed from out of nowhere came Deee-Lite with the barnstorming dance floor legend that was and remains “Groove Is In The Heart”. I know this will make me sound like a knacker but the groove on this tune is immense! These self proclaimed ‘groovniks’ hailed from New York City and were composed of Lady Miss Kier, Supa DJ Dmitry and Jungle DJ Towa Tei and had an image as wild as their hit song. Dayglo colours, psychedelic patterns and huge 70s style platform shoes somehow seemed totally appropriate despite being at least two decades out of fashion.

That track though! Listed in in Gary Mulholland’s marvellous book This Is Uncool: The 500 Greatest Singles Since Punk And Disco as one of the tracks of the year, I think I’ll let Gary do the talking for me:

“If I was ever asked to play some crazy DJ version of Russian roulette, where you had one chance and one chance only to make a roomful of disparate people dance or you die – I would play ‘Groove Is In The Heart’ and book my cab home”.

Well said Gary.

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	The Human League	Heart Like A Wheel	Nah
2	Mariah Carey	Vision Of Love	Nope
3	Tina Turner	Look Me In The Heart	As if
4	Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers	Can Can You Party	Can can you piss off please?
5	Steve Miller Band	The Joker	It’s a no
6	Wilson Phillips	Release Me	After “Hold On” you now want releasing? Make your mind up! No
7	Sonia	End Of The World	No
8	Lindy Layton and Janet Kay	Silly Games	Negative
9	Cliff Richard	Silhouettes	Silhouettes? It was enough to give me Tourettes! No
10	Deacon Blue	Four Bacharach And David Songs	Yes, yes I did
11	Bombalurina	Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini	How does f**k off sound as an answer?
12	Deee-Lite	Groove Is In The Heart	Where’s my copy of this?! I must have bought this surely?!

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000scfy/top-of-the-pops-23081990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

TOTP 09 AUG 1990

Posted on February 15, 2021 by 80stastic

It’s the height of Summer in 1990 here at TOTP Rewind so that can only mean one thing – nasty, tacky novelty records! Previous years had seen the charts flooded with some of the most brainless musical ditties ever committed to vinyl from the likes of Black Lace (“Agadoo”), The Tweets (“The Birdie Song”) and Spitting Image (“The Chicken Song”). Surely this sort of thing wouldn’t continue into the new decade? Oh yes it would (sorry went a bit pantomime there although that might actually be appropriate). I’ve been dreading this moment ever since I started posting about 1990. I knew it was there, waiting in the wings ready to ambush the nation – a heinous, wicked entity. Shield your eyes as we have arrived at the time of Bombalurina and “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini“!

In 1990, was there a more annoying choice to front a horrible novelty record than the guy who actually did? Timmy Mallett was known to most of us as that berk with the giant, pink foam mallet from children’s morning TV programme Wacaday and he was the most irritating twat that TV had seen for years. Everything about him was vexatious from his ‘bleugh!’ catchphrase to his boundless energy for leaping about on screen. And now here he was with stinking out the pop charts! Whose f*****g idea was this? Well, it was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s actually. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

Timmy Mallett: "[Andrew Lloyd Webber] invited me round to his house for tea although I'd never met him before, ever. He said, 'I've got this idea for doing a record – would you like to do it?' I said, 'Yeah, you bet!'" #TOTP
— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) February 5, 2021

Unbelievably, the Bombalurina project (named after a character from his musical Cats) wasn’t even the biggest crime on Lloyd Webber’s charge sheet. Twenty five years later he would outdo himself by flying into the country from abroad on his personal plane to vote in the House of Lords over proposed cuts to tax credits – he voted with the Government in favour of the plan. Wanker.

Back to Mallett though who was clearly having the time of his life playing at this pop star lark. In a Rick from The Young Ones moment he declared to Smash Hits magazine that:

“I’m going to be the most utterly, utterly famous pop star ever”

And yet, unimaginable as it may seem, Mallett did have a more credible music background than the utter embarrassment that Bombalurina was. I clearly recall him as a presenter on the Oxford Road Show pop music magazine show back in the mid 80s. Here he is trying to interview the ever evasive Terry Hall…

OK, he was fairly useless and unconvincing but still. Fast forward five years and all credibility has been flushed down the khazi – the performance here is like the pantomime from Hell. Excruciating doesn’t come anywhere near describing the horror on view. It sounded horrendous back in 1990 and yet, in an occurrence that seems to be against all auditory science, it sounds even worse today. I wonder if any of the ‘proper’ pop stars that he interviewed on Oxford Road Show caught this performance and thought to themselves “Yeah, not surprised. I always knew he was an arsehole”.

Mallett will be at No 1 soon enough. FFS!

Some proper music next…or is it? “Tom’s Diner” by DNA and Suzanne Vega sounded otherworldly to me back then and still unsettles me now. The lolloping Soul II Soul backbeat that Bath duo DNA added to the original a cappella song that Vega recorded for her 1997 album “Solitude Standing” sparked a mass of covers and re-interpretations of the song. So many were there that Vega’s record label compiled some on an album simply called “Tom’s Album” including a live version from Michael Stipe with Billy Bragg beatboxing and incorprating Madness’s “Baggy Trousers” and EMF’s “Unbelievable” into the mix…

More recently, Giorgio Moroder recorded a version of it for his 2015 album “Déjà Vu” featuring Britney Spears on vocal duties…

Back in 1990 though and DNA’s treatment of the track struck a massive chord with music fans who sent it to No 2 in the UK and No 5 in the US. The single’s B-side was Vega’s a cappella original – I wonder how many people who bought it actually listened to that version though? Someone who really did listen to it was one Karlheinz Brandenburg, a German electrical engineer, who developed the widespread MP3 method for audio data compression. Brandenburg used “Tom’s Diner” (the a cappella version) as a template for refining the sound quality of MP3 audio, a tale which has earned Vega the informal title “The Mother of the MP3”.

Not “Naked In The Rain” again? Is this the third time Blue Pearl have been on the show? I’ve covered all the Pink Floyd connections, the fact that legendary producer Youth was behind the project and the implausibility of singer Durga McBroom’s name – what else is there left to say? Well, apparently Durga’s favourite ever album is “Court And Spark” by Joni Mitchell. There – that’s it. That’s the comment. I’ve got nothing else.

Craig McLachlan And Check 1-2 were still in the Top 40 with “Mona” when their next single “Amanda” followed it into the charts. They were on a roll! I always thought this was a passable attempt at a soft rock ballad although you could argue that the world already had quite enough of that sort of thing courtesy of American rockers Boston. So who was the titular Amanda? Why, it was a girl called Rachel of course! Eh? Well, Rachel was actress Rachel Friend who McLachlan had met on the set of Aussie soap Neighbours when she played a character called Bronwyn Davies. Rachel? Bronwyn? Where the Hell does Amanda fit into all this?! Easy really – Amanda is Rachel Friend’s middle name and her and Craig were married in 1993. They were divorced in 1994. Ah. The break up shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to the two of them though – they wrote a song together for the debut Craig McLachlan And Check 1-2 album called “Can’t Take It Any Longer”. Ahem.

By the way, Check 1-2 is a terrible name for a band isn’t it? Well, originally they were called The Y Frontz so I guess it was an upgrade on that. In 1996, in another act of predicting the future via song title, Craig released an album called “Craig McLachlan & The Culprits”. This was unfortunate as in 2018, he faced sexual harassment allegations from several actresses during his performing career. Craig was however acquitted of all charges in 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIBxLHMBuwE

Three Breakers next and for once, they are all from some very established artists. Roxette were riding the crest of their commercial wave having just scored a huge global hit with “It Must Have Been Love”. As that single had come from the soundtrack to Pretty Woman and the band were in between albums, EMI needed to revisit their back catalogue to unearth a follow up. “Listen To Your Heart” had been originally released back in October of 1989 from the”Look Sharp” album and although it had been a No 1 song in the US, it had failed to dent the Top 40 over here. Indeed, both it and “Dressed For Success” had failed to capitalise on the success of their UK breakthrough hit “The Look”. With Pretty Woman pulling in the crowds at the box office though and “It Must Have Been Love” receiving massive airplay, “Listen To Your Heart” couldn’t fail this time.

Much more of a traditional soft rock ballad than their previous more poppy output, the change of direction was entirely deliberate. In the liner notes of their 1995 greatest hits compilation “Don’t Bore Us, Get to the Chorus!”, Per Gessle described the song as:

“This is us trying to recreate that overblown American FM-rock sound to the point where it almost becomes absurd. We really wanted to see how far we could take it.”

They absolutely nailed that sound (absurd or not) – you could easily imagine that when listening to “Listen To Your Heart” you were actually listening to…erm…Heart. Following Elton John’s “Sacrifice / Healing Hands” lead, the single was actually a double A-side with the other track being something called ‘”Dangerous”. I have no idea how that one went though as daytime radio hammered the crap out of “Listen To Your Heart” and totally ignored ‘”Dangerous”.

The re-release of “Listen To Your Heart” peaked at No 6 in the UK.

Now then, I said these Breakers were all from established artists and they are but this second one is actually the debut single from the act in question. How so? Well, it’s a Jon Bon Jovi solo single of course. “Blaze Of Glory” was the title of both the lead single and parent album that included songs from and inspired by the movie Young Guns II. With Bon Jovi (the band) on hiatus after touring the world twice to promote the “Slippery When Wet” and “New Jersey” albums and with no firm plans for further recordings at that time, Jon was open to other projects. Star of Young Guns II Emilio Estevez had approached him about using Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead Or Alive” song for the film’s soundtrack. You can see why – its cowboys theme title a seemingly perfect fit for the second instalment of the Young Guns story that was breathing new life into the Western film genre. However, Jon didn’t think the track’s lyrics were fit for that type of usage – the cowboy stuff was all a metaphor to describe the life on the road of a touring rock band (‘steel horse’ = tour bus, geddit?). Instead he wrote Estevez and the film’s screenwriter John Fusco a brand new song. I say ‘brand new’ but I actually mean ripped off / just re-wrote “Wanted Dead Or Alive”. It’s basically the same song for heaven’s sake! And that was fine by me. Bon Jovi had been a guilty pleasure of mine for a few years by this point and “Blaze Of Glory” fitted in perfectly with their previous catalogue.

The video is absolutely epic with Bon Jovi strutting around atop thousand-foot cliffs outside Moab, Utah. I always liked the way he threw his guitar around when he was really going for it in the chorus. See Jason Donovan, if you’re going to wander about of cliff tops with a guitar, this is how you do it and not as you did with your shallow attempt in the “Too Many Broken Hearts” promo.

As for the film itself, Young Guns II never really lived up to the appeal of its predecessor for me. The new characters just weren’t that likeable whilst Alan Ruck’s Hendry William French seemed completely pointless. Without that same sense of camaraderie that was a feature of Young Guns, it just didn’t work for me. Whilst watching the first film as a student in Sunderland, somebody in the audience actually stood up and shouted “Charlie!” when Charlie Sheen’s character got shot.

“Blaze Of Glory” peaked at No 13 in the UK and was a No 1 in the US.

Definitely an established artist was Sting although he hadn’t had a Top 40 single since “Russians” in late 1985. His second solo album, 1987’s “…Nothing Like the Sun”, had though been a platinum selling No 1 record but none of the singles from it had been hits. One of those was “Englishman in New York” which had stalled at No 51 on its original release. Fast forward to 1990 and for some reason, Sting’s record label A&M allowed Dutch DJ and producer Ben Liebrand to remix the track and it finally became a chart hit peaking at No 15. I’m not sure what the reasoning behind this decision was other than to raise Sting’s profile ahead of the release of his third solo album, “The Soul Cages”, which hit the shops six months on from this.

I’m not entirely convinced that the 1990 remix is that different from the 1987 original to be honest but its an intriguing tune all the same. Famously written about eccentric and gay icon Quentin Crisp who features in the video, it’s possibly one of Sting’s most well known solo efforts I would suggest and even inspired this 1993 version by reggae singer Shinehead.

Enough with all these old fogeys though, what the kids wanted back in the Summer of 1990 was….a load of bleeps set to a heavy bass sound? WTF? Yes, for all 1990 is remembered for ‘Madchester’ and the baggy movement, there was also a significant invasion of the Top 40 by a genre called ‘Bleep ‘n’ Bass’ – or was it ‘Electro Bleep’? Look, I don’t know; it wasn’t my bag at all but I do know that there was a dance compilation series called ‘Breaks, Bass & Bleeps’ that showcased this sort of thing. And just as ‘Madchester’ had its holy trinity of The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays and Inspiral Carpets so ‘Bleep ‘n’ Bass’ had its trio of chart stars in LFO, Together (more of whom later) and this lot, Tricky Disco. Behind the name were husband and wife duo Michael Wells and Lee Newman who used a plethora of aliases to release their music the idea behind which was that the press would not write about so much material all coming from the same act but they would review releases by supposedly distinct artists with completely different names. Some of their other identities included GTO, John + Julie, Church of Extacy, Signs of Chaos, Salami Brothers, Killout Squad and Technohead the last of whom gave them their biggest ever hit with 1996’s “I Wanna Be a Hippy”.

To me though, the bleeps in “Tricky Disco” sounded like my Binatone video game from when I was about 11 and I couldn’t be doing with it. What? Binatone? It was a huge clunky piece of hardware that, when plugged into your TV, allowed you a choice of 10 game including football, hockey, tennis and something infuriating called gridball.

This was what passed for hi spec computer game graphics in the 70s kids

However, they were all based around very limited graphic capability so pretty much all you got on screen was a paddle and a dot for a ball…and I loved it…for a while but eventually all the fuss around setting it up on the TV (there were no separate monitors back in the 70s) kind of squeezed all the excitement out of it.

Anyway, the sound of the paddles continually hitting the dot ball back and forth was just like the bleep noises on “Tricky Disco” and the like and that wasn’t music to me. Sorry.

This was though! By my reckoning, this is the third time that “I’m Free” by The Soup Dragons featuring Junior Reid has been on the show but the first time we have seen the video. The promo is basically a straight band performance but set against spiralling, fluorescent psychedelic colours and was directed by someone called Matthew Amos who went onto work with artists as diverse as Blur, Elton John and erm…Slipknot.

It reminds me of the old 60s sci-fi series Time Tunnel or when late night Channel 4 magazine show The Word had live bands on. Look, like Stereo MC’s here…

So after Blue Pearl and The Soup Dragons earlier in the show, here’s yet another track which has been on TOTP multiple times now. I think this might be the fourth occasion for MC Hammer and “U Can’t Touch This” but to enable these repeat performances to be squeezed onto the show, their air time has been vastly reduced. The Soup Dragons got about 1minute 20 seconds on screen whilst MC Hammer came in at 1:10!

Such is the legacy of “U Can’t Touch This” that it has been parodied time and time again. The obvious suspects like lampooner-in-chief Weird Al Yankovic have gone there but it has also been sent up by NFL American football team the Miami Dolphins, in an episode of Family Guy and to promote social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic. Oh and this one as well…

We’ll be seeing more of MC Hammer before 1990 is done with I’m sure.

Finally a song we haven’t seen/heard before! Well, sort of. “I Can See Clearly Now” was well known to music fans from the Johnny Nash original which hit No 5 in 1972 but it was reactivated here by Irish rockers Hothouse Flowers. The second (and most successful) single to be taken from their album “Home”, was its release just and open and shut case of needing a cover version to secure them a hit? Possibly. Lead single from the album “Give It Up” had peaked at a lowly No 30 so it could have just been a cynical record company move. I have to say that they did a nice job of it, injecting some gospel vibes and before letting it rock out in the song’s finale. However, if they were hoping to break the Top 10 with it, they were to be disappointed as it struggled to No 23. A third and final single taken from the album called “Movies'” didn’t even make the Top 40 and we would not see the band for another three years when they returned with the “Songs From The Rain” album.

In November 2016, their version of the song was featured in the premiere episode of the Amazon Prime Video motoring show The Grand Tour which was the new (ahem) vehicle for massive bell end Jeremy Clarkson after he had been sacked by the BBC from his previous show Top Gear. The exposure for the song sent it to No 1 on the iTunes’s Top 40 UK Rock Song chart in late 2016.

It’s the third of four weeks at the top for Partners In Kryme with “Turtle Power“. So popular were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that they actually went on tour! A proper concert tour playing live gigs! The Coming Out of Their Shells tour premiered at Radio City Music Hall in August of 1990 and featured live-action turtles playing music as a band. In case you were wondering, this was the line up:

Michelangelo – guitar
Leonardo – bass guitar
Donatello – keyboards
Raphael – drums and saxophone

Like I said, a proper band! Never mind the story of The Monkees starting out as a fictional band and becoming real pop stars, this was next level stuff! To be fair, The Banana Splits had kind of beaten them to it with the performing as a band schtick by a good 20 years but I’m not sure if they ever went on tour! What I am sure about is that their tune was infinitely more funky than the one those turtles were playing…

That’s all my turtle trivia for another week. Spare a thought for me though as I’ve got another week of this nonsense to have to comment on!

So back to that bleeping ‘Bleep ‘n’ Bass’ stuff for the play out video which is the aforementioned Together with “Hardcore Uproar”. I have no recollection of this at all, so much so that I assumed that the name of the act was Hardcore Uproar and the song was called “Together” when I came to review it. I think I was getting confused with Stockport based indie imps Northern Uproar on reflection. Together on the other hand were a pair of Hacienda regulars whose white label recording of “Hardcore Uproar” was so popular that hit qualified for an official release and climbed to No 12 in the charts. Supposedly the tracks title was the inspiration for a series of compilations featuring house, techno and rave tunes released on the Dino Entertainment label. I do remember that compilation series from my time in Our Price if not the band Together.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8GhXrT2qPE

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Bombalurina	Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini	How does f**k off sound as an answer?
2	Suzanne Vega featuring DNA	Tom’s Diner	No but my wife had the original version of the song on Suzanne’s Solitude Standing album
3	Blue Pearl	Naked In The Rain	It’s a no
4	Craig McLachlan and Check 1-2	Amanda	Nope
5	Roxette	Listen To Your Heart	I did and it said don’t buy this record
6	Jon Bon Jovi	Blaze Of Glory	No but it’s probably on my Bon Jovi collection CD
7	Sting	Englishman In New York	No
8	Tricky Disco	Tricky Disco	Tricky Disc-NO
9	The Soup Dragons featuring Junior Reid	I’m Free	Thought I did but singles box says no. I did however by the follow up single Mother Universe
10	MC Hammer	U Can’t Touch This	And I didn’t – no
11	Hothouse Flowers	I Can See Clearly Now	But I couldn’t see my way clear to buying this – no
12	Partners In Kryme	Turtle Power	This as a crime…against music. No
13	Together	Hardcore Uproar	Harcore! You know the score! Erm…no

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000rxpk/top-of-the-pops-09081990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues

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