B*Witched | TOTP Rewind – the 90s

TOTP 25 JUN 1998

As host Jamie Theakston acknowledges in his top of the show intro, World Cup fever is still sweeping the nation as the England team remained in France. How much longer though was yet to be decided. Having comfortably overcome Tunisia in their opening game, disaster had befallen with a last minute defeat to Romania in the second match. All hope of progressing now hinged on the last group game against Colombia which was played the day after this TOTP was broadcast (presumably the show was moved to Thursday this week to avoid clashing with the BBC coverage of the game on the Friday).

As I said, Theakston talks about TOTP being the antidote to World Cup fever in his intro but then the first song in the show is a football song – “Vindaloo” by Fat Les. This was just a rerun of the performance from last week that incorporated both the EastEnders set and TOTP studio but in the intervening seven days, the ‘censored’ caption over the lady on stage who has an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction has been edited out. So what do we make of “Vindaloo” 27 years on? Was it an attempt to demonstrate the multiculturalism of England by getting the masses to sing a song that espoused Indian cuisine as an example of Englishness? Or was that message lost on/ignored by those same masses who instead adopted it as what many saw as a rallying call for the anti-social behaviour of the hooligan? Or was it both? Could it be both simultaneously? Certainly Keith Allen is on record as making the case for the former. However, I think we might have strayed into Alf Garnett territory with the infamous character created by Johnny Speight for the sitcom Till Death Do Us Part meant to be a figure of ridicule but for many of the watching TV audience, the satire of his portrayal was lost on them. In the political climate of 2025 and in the wake of flag-gate, who knows how it would be perceived? Rest assured, I’m not going there.

Now, when I saw this next song on the forthcoming new releases information sheet that we used to get on a weekly basis in the Our Price chain for whom I worked, it filled me with dread. My first thought on reading the title of this next song was “Oh god, someone’s doing a cover version of Nick Heyward – the greatest living Englishman!”. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. “Whistle Down The Wind”, as well as being the name of Nick’s debut solo hit from 1983, was also the title of the latest Andrew Lloyd Webber musical with the title song being recorded by “Chains” hitmaker Tina Arena. Based on the rather wonderful 1961 film of the same name starring a very young Haley Mills, it was initially not a success when it opened in the US and a stint on Broadway was cancelled. However, a reworked version that ran in the West End was better received and played solidly until 2001. Subsequent productions have toured the UK and US whilst the most recent incarnation came in 2022 at the Watermill Theatre in Newbury, Berkshire. However, I would argue that it remains one of Lloyd Webber’s lesser known and celebrated musicals.

As for the show’s music, Lloyd Webber collaborated with Meatloaf’s writing partner Jim Steinman including on the title track and it’s a suitably overwrought, soaring ballad that I found almost unlistenable to be honest. It’s more like a vocal warm up exercise than a song although Tina seems pleased with her own performance visibly mouthing “Yes!” at its climax and giving herself a double fist clench salute. The single would only make No 24 on the charts but the follow up single was extraordinarily successful. “No Matter What” by Boyzone would spend three weeks at No 1, be the fourth best selling single of 1998 in the UK and was voted the winner of the inaugural Record of the Year award. Despite all of that, I’m sticking by my assertion that Whistle Down The Wind is not one of the best known Lloyd Webber shows and that the Boyzone single is not immediately associated with it, having developed its own identity separate from its source.

I know I say this a lot in this blog but…WHO?! Imajin anyone? Well, back in 1998, according to Jamie Theakston, they were the latest US R&B sensation – like we needed another one of them. Their song was called “Shorty (You Keep Playing With My Mind)” and it’s all fairly routine stuff though the female contingent in the studio audience seem highly excited by the whole thing. Talking of 1983 as I was earlier re: Nick Heyward, watching Imajin (terrible name) I was reminded of another hit from that year – “Candy Girl” by New Edition and guess what? Imajin would feature on a cover version of that hit in 1999 with then 13 year old rapper Baby DC. And that is all my imagination can muster about Imajin.

After considering the patriotism/nationalism/loyalism (choose whichever term you are most comfortable with) angle to Fat Les earlier and quickly deciding not to go there, we have another contentious artist next. There was so many headlines about the fact that Dana International was transgender that it didn’t seem to matter what her song was like. Even host Jamie Theakston can’t resist making reference to her sex reassignment surgery in his intro whilst the pause in his outro whilst describing her as “quite extraordinary” suggests that he feels he should make another comment though he doesn’t really know what that should be. I guess it was a different time back then…or is it any different now? Gender identity remains an issue that generates enormous debate to the extent that it is used as a source of party political point scoring with exhortations to ‘define a woman’ being traded across the House of Commons. Again, I’m not wading into that subject here. What I will say is that, to my ears, Dana International’s song “Diva” doesn’t seem so out there and other worldly as perhaps it was represented as back in 1998. Its peak of No 11 made it the highest charting Eurovision winning song outside of UK or Irish artists since Germany’s Nicole took “A Little Peace” to No 1 in 1982.

Whatever happened to Karen Ramirez? OK, it’s not a question that’s keeping me up at night but it’s one that’s maybe deserves an answer. Appearing from nowhere and disappearing almost as quickly, she scored a Top 10 hit with “Looking For Love”, a dance version of an Everything But The Girl song (originally titled “I Didn’t Know I Was Looking For Love”) but who was the woman singing it and where did she go?

Karen was born in North London but moved to Trinidad and Tobago at the age of six before returning to the UK to go to university. With ambitions to sing, her demo tape was picked up by Manifesto Records leading to a debut single release called “Troubled Girl” which just missed the Top 40. However, the follow up was “Looking For Love” and it remained in the Top 10 for four weeks and the Top 40 for eight, totally eclipsing the 1993 Everything But The Girl original which peaked at No 72. And after that…nothing. Well no, not nothing. A minor follow up hit and an album that didn’t make much of a mark and then nothing. Karen reappeared in 2006 with a iTunes only album and then…nothing again. So, we may never know if Karen found the love she was looking for but she left us one hit that basically took an Everything But The Girl song, gave it the “Missing” remix treatment and made herself famous for 15 minutes. It was almost like an artist covering an artist’s song covering an artist. There must be a name for that but I’m not going to spend any time looking for it.

Now in the past, whilst not defending the Lighthouse Family and their music, I’ve defended the right to like them – an ‘each to their own’ approach. However, this song – “Lost In Space” – is almost unforgivable. Firstly, it is one of the most soporific, dull, boring, lifeless, soulless, banal…I could go on…and I will…leaden, anaemic, dreary, grey, insipid tracks ever recorded. It just drones on..and on…and on with no changes of pace, no attention grabbing hooks, not even a jarring breakdown section. It’s just…there. Secondly, looking at its title, I’d assumed it was something to do with the film of the same name that was in the cinemas at this time – the big screen remake of the Irwin Allen 60s TV series. However, I can’t find a single link between the film and it. Certainly, it’s not on the soundtrack album so was this just some shameless band wagon jumping going on here, some manipulative cashing-in practice? And I thought they were nice, clean living boys at least!

Now if it’s a show in the Chris Cowey era, then there must be a repeated performance with very little in the way of justifying arguments for it. Lo and behold, here are B*Witched with “C’est La Vie” who are back on the show because…? Having been at No 1 for two weeks and dropping down to No 4, they’ve stayed at No 4 this week. And that seems to be good enough reason for Cowey, the King of Recycled Performances. And guess what? He’ll have it opening the show in a couple of weeks because it went up a place to No 3 and stayed there. I’ve tried to make a case for his policy in the past but this was just lazy overkill. In the previous week’s chart, the excellent Embrace was a new entry at No 6 but did we see them? No we didn’t. Right. Who said “C’est La Vie” at the back there? Grr! I oughta…

After two references to 1983 earlier this post comes one from 1984. The Kane Gang’s summer hit of that year “Closest Thing To Heaven” was one of the best of the decade to my ears. Sadly, or maybe happily, this was not Lionel Richie doing a cover version of it in 1998. No, this was a Dianne Warren penned yawn-fest that went absolutely nowhere and then stayed there in a circling motion for the duration. How was it possible in the space of three songs on the same show to find two of the most depressing and depressant tracks ever. This was money for old rope for Lionel and, for recording it, he should have taken a long hard look at himself in the mirror. Actually, maybe that’s not the best idea*

*Sorry Lionel!

Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds have resisted the claims and sales of Fat Les and remain at No 1 for a second week with “3 Lions ‘98”. I like the way that Frank Skinner looks so committed to the performance here like it really matters to him – indeed, maybe it did. Both Frank and David have been guests on Desert Island Discs and interestingly, the former didn’t select “Three Lions” as one of his choices as his modesty prevented him so he went with “Back Home” by the 1970 England World Cup squad instead. Baddiel on the other hand had no such issue picking “Three Lions” without compunction. Although it resurfaces at every major international tournament, has it almost been replaced by Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”?

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Fat Les	Vindaloo	No
2	Tina Arena	Whistle Down The Wind	Nick Heyward – Yes Tina Arena – No
3	Imajin	Shorty (You Keep Playing With My Mind)	Never
4	Dana International	Diva	Negative
5	Karen Ramirez	Looking For Love	I did not
6	Lighthouse Family	Lost In Space	I wish they were – no
7	B*Witched	C’est La Vie	Nope
8	Lionel Richie	Closest Thing To Heaven	No way
9	Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds	3 Lions ’98	Nah

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 12 JUN 1998

Posted on September 24 by 80stastic

It’s the Summer of 1998 and there’s only one game in town – the World Cup. Yes, France ‘98 is in full swing and, despite only starting two days before this TOTP aired, Scotland have lost a game already! It was hardly the embarrassment many were expecting (or hoping for if you were English maybe) going down 2-1 to the reigning champions and pre-tournament favourites Brazil to a late own goal. England are there as well for the first time since Italia ‘90 and after the hysteria and heartache of the Euros ‘96 tournament, expectations for Glenn Hoddle’s squad were high despite the omission of Gazza.

Now, before you all start thinking I’ve turned this blog into a football fest (again), there’s a valid reason why I mention the World Cup which is the plethora of football themed hits that it generated in the UK Top 40. There’s two on this show but there’ll be a further three on the following week’s as well. Of course, football related songs were nothing new. Going right back to 1970 and the England World Cup Squad’s No 1 “Back Home”, there have always been attempts to merge the two worlds of football and music, some successful, some dreadful. 1972 saw my beloved Chelsea riding high in the charts with “Blue Is The Colour” whilst the 80s saw teams competing in the FA Cup final regularly releasing singles to mark the occasion. Who can forget the cringeworthy “Ossie’s Dream” from 1981 and that line from Spurs legend Ossie Ardilles “In the cup for Tottingham”? Into the 90s, we had the unspeakably awful “Come On You Reds” by Manchester United which topped the charts but at other end of the scale, we also had the sublime “World In Motion” by New Order. Then, of course, came Euro ‘96 and terrace anthem “Three Lions” – we would never see the end of that particular hit. So what are the class of ‘98 football songs like? Let’s find out with our host Jo Whiley (who is a Spurs fan – boo!)…The football songs are coming (I promise/warn you) but we start with two established Top 10 hits that have already been on the show previously beginning with “Horny ‘98” by Mousse T featuring Hot ‘N’ Juicy.

Despite just being on the previous week, I’d saved a couple of tidbits to wheel out for future appearances starting with the fact that it was included on “Chef Aid: The South Park” album. Around the end of 1998, the animated sitcom South Park became a TV ratings sensation and made household names of its four protagonists Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. Known for its profane, dark and satiric humour, it soon gained a reputation for being outrageous beyond the normal standards of broadcasting decency. It was also fabulously funny and to this day continues to push the boundaries by being a constant thorn in the side of man-baby Donald Trump.

The Our Price chain for whom I worked stocked all the show’s merchandise and, of course, the album and hit single “Chocolate Salty Balls” by Chef which would appear at Christmas. We could never play the album in store because of the Parental Advisory sticker but, having found the version on the album with the conversation between show creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker and the character of Sid Greenfield (America’s Most Wanted director) bracketing it, that version is much more palatable.

However, that’s nothing compared to this almighty mashup that appeared in 2006 that blended the track with “Bohemian Like You” by The Dandy Warhols. I’d never been aware of this until now but this is truly epic…

The second song we’ve seen before comes from Lutricia McNeal who is marooned outside of the Top 5 but still in the Top 10 at No 7 this week with “Stranded”. There really isn’t that much to say about this one and indeed, Lutricia doesn’t have the biggest online presence with even her Wikipedia page’s last update on her whereabouts being as long ago as 2011. As such, I’m forced to bang on again about how unusual her first name is. According to the mynamestats.com website, only 785 people in the whole of America are called Lutricia making the name the 10,377th most popular. That means there are 0.25 people per every 100,000 Americans called Lutricia. Even the name Lucretia with all its connotations is more popular. There is a singer called Lucretia – Lucretia Death whose LinkedIn bio refers to ‘vampiric longing’, ‘eternal darkness’ and ‘unholy ascension’! Gulp! Don’t fancy being stranded with her!

Still no football songs! Perhaps I should have realised that there was another trend going on in the charts which was the amount of female artists having hits at this time. Following Lutricia McNeal here’s Shania Twain (and there are two more solo artists and an all girl group at No 1 to come). In my head, Shania’s run of hits started with “You’re Still The One”, continued with “That Don’t Impress Me Much” and culminated in “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!”. It turns out that these are just the ones I know and not a reliable account of her discography as there are other hits in that run and loads after it as well. Should I be embarrassed by my lack of Shania knowledge? I’ll live with it thanks. Anyway, one of those hits that I missed out was “When” which having heard it, does sound faintly familiar, presumably because of its catchy hooks. The lyrics however…I mean. Really? Look at these…

“I’d love to wake up smiling, full of the joys of Spring

And hear on CNN that Elvis lives again

And that John’s back with The Beatles and they’re going out on tour

I’ll be the first in line for tickets

Gotta see that show for sure

Songwriters: Robert John Lange, Shania Twain
When lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

Is it me or do they seem a little bit…unsophisticated? Is that the right word? Clunky maybe? Ham-fisted? I don’t want to come across as a pseud or condescending but I think I prefer a bit more mystery in my lyrics. Maybe I’m missing the point of Shania though which, according to Jo Whiley, is that she’s gorgeous describing her as “drool-inducing” and instructing us to wipes our mouths after her performance. Really Jo?!

It’s another female solo artist now with her second hit single but that term is a complete antonym for the product she released. Nothing to do with the title of her song which was called “Gimme Love” but rather the amount of versions and mixes that were made of it. I’m talking about Alexia whose debut hit “Uh La La La” had made the Top 10 in March which itself had been the subject of multiple remixes that were commissioned by her record company Sony in an attempt to launch their artist in Europe. “Gimme Love” took it to another level with 20 different versions listed on its Wikipedia page. Single? They should have promoted it as a ‘multiple’.

Now apparently “Gimme Love” is an example of Europop whereas “Uh La La La” was classified as Eurodance and the shift of genre disappointed her fan base. I can’t say I’m expert enough to be able to pinpoint the differences but what I can say is that “Gimme Love” is repetitive in the extreme which also renders it rather insubstantial – in my humble opinion of course. The initial pressings of the single contained a listing error showing the title as “Gimmi Love” which is rather appropriate as the word ‘Alexia’ can refer to an acquired reading disorder characterised by the inability to read.

We’ve finally got to a football song but this one was not a typical example of the genre. “Don’t Come Home Too Soon” was the official World Cup song of the Scotland squad and was recorded by Del Amitri providing the band with what would be their final Top 20 hit. Eschewing the traditional notion of the singalong football song, this was a slow ballad and, in truth, a rather mournful one and I say that as someone who is quite partial to a bit of Del Amitri. If it’s sound was mournful then its lyrics were positively pessimistic (if it’s possible to be such a thing) referring to the team as “long shots” and saying that the rest of the word “may not be shaking yet” and limiting Scotland’s chances to not being on “that stupid plane” and not coming home too soon. Not winning the damn thing, just staying a bit longer than usual. In fairness, that probably was the limit of their ambitions given that they’d never (and still haven’t) got past the group stage of any major tournament. Even so, the song didn’t go down that well with some of the Tartan Army. I’m sure I read something about lead singer Justin Currie saying he’d been abused in the street for writing such a negative song. As for Jo Whiley’s hope in her intro that Scotland would stuff Norway and Morocco, they drew 1-1 to the former and got hammered 0-3 by the latter leaving them bottom of Group A and on that ‘stupid plane’ home that Del Amitri feared.

Heck, we really were in the era of ‘lad culture’ back in the late 90s weren’t we? In her intro to yet another female artist on tonight’s show, Jo Whiley says “a woman who’ll always get her tassels out for the lads, this is Mariah Carey”. Or does she say “tonsils” not tassels? The subtitles say ‘tassels’. Either way, you were better than this Jo surely?! Or was she perhaps using irony to undermine the “get your t**s out for the lads” line? Nah, I think she was going along with the predominant narrative.

Anyway, Mariah is here with her new single “My All” which was taken from her “Butterfly” album the lead single from which (“Honey”) had combined hip-hop and R&B and gone Top 3. Its follow up – the album’s title track – was a pop gospel ballad which had only managed a high of No 22. As a result, Mariah edged her bets with her next release as “My All” is both a ballad and an R&B dance track. The first 2:20 of the track is in a slow paced, whispered vocals style reminiscent of Toni Braxton but with Latin guitars before the bpm winds up (the subtitles literally say ‘Beat kicks in, audience cheers’) and Mariah gets almost hysterical proclaiming she’d risk her life to feel someone’s body. Blimey!

The blending of styles worked and gave Ms Carey a No 4 hit here and yet another Stateside chart topper. As with Alexia before her, there were loads of different mixes of the track to accommodate every radio station sub genre and she also recorded a Spanish version but the first line of that version was mistranslated and was grammatically incorrect. As a blogger, I can confirm that these things matter you know.

And so we get to the second football song of the night and like Del Amitri’s, it’s also the official World Cup song for a competing nation but this time England. After the terrace anthem and official song that was “Three Lions” just two years prior for Euro ‘96, the English FA wanted to go in a different direction for the ‘98 World Cup. The result was “(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The World” by England United who were Echo and the Bunnymen, Ocean Colour Scene, Space and, rather inexplicably, the Spice Girls. The song was written by Ian McCulloch and Johnny Marr though the latter wasn’t officially part of England United. The reaction to it was overwhelmingly negative. ‘You can’t sing it on the terraces’ seemed to be the main complaint about it but I think, in truth, its major failing was that it wasn’t “Three Lions”, a song so durable, it still to this day gets trotted out for every international tournament. Indeed, the first reworking of it would will be along in the next repeat and would easily outsell “(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The World” reaching No 1 again. According to Wikipedia, when the latter was played at Wembley in a pre-World Cup friendly, the crowd that day booed it.

Going against national taste once more, I quite liked the England United effort. Sure, it wasn’t much of a football song but it was a decent track. It’s nicely constructed and has an uplifting, soar away chorus. I wonder actually, if it was ultimately rejected as a potential Echo and the Bunnymen release for being too pop? As for the other artists on the record, I’m not entirely sure what linked them altogether. OK, you could draw a very basic line between The Bunnymen, Space and Ocean Colour Scene as being rock/pop groups whose paths might have crossed at some point or another? The first two were both Liverpool bands of course so there might be a potential association there but the Spice Girls? Mel C was another scouser so was there a link there? Talking of the Spice Girls, as with the “Viva Forever” performance the other week, this TOTP appearance was also clearly recorded some time previous to its broadcast date as the recently departed Geri Halliwell features and executive producer Chris Cowey must have thought himself doubly lucky to have another bit of film with Ginger Spice there in the ranks still. She doesn’t look too unhappy with her lot in life, bouncing around deliriously alongside Mel C and Emma Bunton. If anything you might have thought Victoria and Mel B were the ones potentially uncommitted to the cause, separated from the other three on the other side of Ian McCulloch and Simon Fowler of Ocean Colour Scene and turning in a much more reserved performance. So there you have it. England United. The forgotten English football song. I don’t see it being revived any time soon.

B*Witched remain at No 1 with “C’est La Vie”. Watching this performance back, it’s clear that they were being promoted as purveyors of bouncy, good time, care free pop music. The catchy tune, the hyper-energetic dance routine…and yet behind the image, as all too often happens, there was sadness, despair and dark times. The ridiculously long days the group would work and their relentless schedule was sometimes too much. So much that in the case of Keavy Lynch, it would cause a major mental health issue.

Keavy is an interesting figure in pop being an identical twin whose sister was chosen as the focal point of an internationally successful group over her. That must mess with your head! Are there any other cases of this? The Proclaimers are identical twins but they very much come as a pair and are seen as a unit. I love The Proclaimers and I’m not sure I know which one is which! Bros? Again, I’m not sure that the screams and adulation were reserved just for singer Matt Goss. As the vocalist, I guess he commanded more profile than his drummer brother Luke but they had a ready made stooge in bassist Craig ‘Ken’ Logan. Maybe the other B*Witched members Lindsay Armaou and Sinead O’Carroll felt aggrieved as well as Keavy but they didn’t have the mind f**k that the chosen lead singer looked exactly like them. Having to sing a song called “C’est La Vie” just twisted the knife a little deeper.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Mousse T featuring Hot ‘N’ Juicy	Horny ’98	No
2	Lutricia McNeal	Stranded	Nah
3	Shania Twain	When	Absolutely not
4	Alexia	Gimme Love	Nope
5	Del Amitri	Don’t Come Home To Soon	No but I had it on a Best Of album of theirs
6	Mariah Carey	My All	Big NO
7	England United	(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The World	It’s another no
8	B*Witched	C’Est La Vie	And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 05 JUN 1998

Posted on September 20 by 80stastic

I’m nearly 30! Back in 1998 that is. I’m pushing 60 now. Where did all the time go? I’ll tell you where all the time goes these days – on writing this blog! Two TOTP repeats a week is hard work. I’m sure BBC4 only used to air one show every seven days when I first started doing this back in 2017. Much more manageable. Anyway, it’s my choice so I’ll just have to quit my bellyaching and get on with it. So, back in 1998, this particular TOTP was broadcast the day before my 30th birthday and to mark the milestone my wife and I went to Edinburgh for the weekend. Having looked at the running order for this one, I can see English, Irish and Welsh artists but nobody Scottish. As ever then, I was out of step with the musical tastes of the British record buying public!

Our host is Jo Whiley (who seems to be trying out Björk’s hairstyle for size) and we start with an Australian in the diminutive form of Natalie Imbruglia who is experiencing a form of diminishing returns as her third single “Wishing I Was There” peaks at its debut position of No 19. “Torn” and “Big Mistake” had both been No 2 hits with the former especially being a huge commercial and airplay success. This one, however, couldn’t replicate said success and watching this performance, I can see and hear why. There’s a lot of posturing, growling and attitude from Natalie but there’s not much of an actual song to hang it all onto. The overall effect is that of an overly eager Alanis Morissette wannabe. The rock guitar ending seems especially over the top. Bizarrely, a fourth single released from her “Left Of The Middle” album called “Smoke” would return her to the Top 5. You tell me.

The Irish contingent is represented next by Boyzone. Now this track. – “All That I Need” – was No 1 ages ago (the show dated 1st May to be exact) and was not even in the Top 20 at this point so what was it doing back on the show? Well, this seems to be a case of more performance recycling from executive producer Chris Cowey. He’s shoehorned this one in under the guise of the lads’ latest album “Where We Belong” being No 1 on the album chart but that’s seems like a flimsy bit of reasoning. An album chart section wasn’t a regular feature (I think it was back in the ‘year zero’ revamp era) so why bring it back now? Will we see it in every show from now on? Nah, I’m not buying it (the album chart grift not this Boyzone single though obviously I didn’t buy that either).

Here come the Welsh! Yes, it’s those alt rockers, those power poppers, those neo-psychedelics (I’ve no idea what I’m talking about!) the Super Furry Animals with the title track of an EP no less called “Ice Hockey Hair”. To quote Chris Tarrant, this is what the kids wanted! Something to make them think, to question the established norms and to fuck with their heads! Not that bland nonsense Boyzone were pedalling! And for once, maybe the kids were listening as this became The Furries highest charting single to date when it debuted at No 12 after their last five hits had all peaked between Nos 27 and 22. This was also a favourite of the inkies music press with Melody Maker naming it the tenth best single of the year and the NME proclaiming it the second. And why not? It’s a glorious mix of styles with some reviews detecting Queen, ELO, Pavement and Wings combined with what the NME termed “mad, techno squalling”. But what was “Ice Hockey Hair”? Well, it was another term for the mullet hairstyle that the band picked up from a conversation with a Swedish football player (as you do).

The EP’s opening track was a little ditty called “Smokin’” which was used to soundtrack a Channel 4 series about the Seven Deadly Sins and, in particular, the episode about ‘Sloth’ presented by Howard Marks. Yes, that Howard Marks so you can guess what the track was about. It should be of no surprise though as the Super Furry Animals weren’t afraid to push the boundaries. In fact, the band didn’t give a fuck. Ahem.

This next song represents the countries of Turkey, Germany and England – this is “Horny ‘98” by Mousse T versus Hot ‘n’ Juicy. Now depending on your point of view, this was either a cheeky, cheesy dance floor banger or utter filth which was corrupting the pure minds of the young generation. Actually, there’s a third option which was to find it, like me, just plain annoying. Mousse T is Mustafo Gündoğdu, a German-Turkish DJ and producer whose CV includes the accolade of being one of Germany’s first producers of house music and, by way of contrast, a stint as a judge on the German version of Pop Idol. Hot ‘n’ Juicy were Emma Lanford and Nadine Richardson who lived in a tower block in the former Lee Bank estate of Birmingham. There doesn’t seem an obvious connection between the two camps but at some point their paths crossed and “Horny ‘98” was the result. Listening to the track today, it seems quite repetitive (if catchy) but maybe that was requisite to be a club anthem? I don’t know. I was nearly 30 so I don’t think I was frequenting that many nightclubs at the time. I can imagine though that women up and down the country were receiving unsolicited attention from many a drunken male reveller whose opening line was “I’m horny, horny, horny, horny”. The whole thing was just awful.

What’s happening here? A performance of a song that wouldn’t be released as a single for six weeks and which host Jo Whiley says we weren’t meant to see until July? Ah but…there’s some headline-making, mitigating circumstances at play here which my last post was based around – Geri Halliwell leaving the Spice Girls. Right, so there’s a lot to unpack here starting with the insight from Whiley that some TOTP performances were filmed way ahead of release schedules. “Viva Forever” would not be in the record shops until 20th July yet here it was on TOTP on the 5th June! Was this standard practice? Certainly you can tell from some of the presenter links in these shows that the artists are not in the studio with the host at the same time. In the case of the Spice Girls though, there were some very specific circumstances peculiar to this single. The release schedule for “Viva Forever” was a mess. Originally reported as being out as a double A-side with the track “Never Give Up On The Good Times” on May 25th, it never appeared presumably because the group were on their Spiceworld tour and not available to do promotional duties. I’m guessing that this TOTP appearance was squeezed in to be kept until “Viva Forever” was in the charts before its broadcast. Then came the ‘Geri’s leaving’ bombshell but the tour had to continue and so the single’s release date was shifted three times in July before its ultimate appearance.

Given the seismic waves felt by the Halliwell departure, did Chris Cowey realise the footage that he had on his hands with the five piece performing together for possibly the last time was TV gold and so put it out there as almost an historical document? Then there’s the performance itself. Geri is hardly in it! She has no close ups and is it me or does she seem to be standing slightly away from the rest of the group, isolating herself? Was this how it was originally shot or had some heavy editing taken place post the news of her leaving breaking? If so, why? And if that was how it was originally recorded, also…why? Jo Whiley seems to take great delight in the splintering of the Spice Girls making wisecracks about them performing through gritted teeth. What about the song itself (and that video) though? Well look, it will be No 1 and for two weeks within a few repeats so I’ll keep my powder dry until then but for the record, I thought it was actually OK.

Widening this international array of artists on tonight’s show even further is Cuban-American superstar Gloria Estefan who has been away for a couple of years but was back with new single “Heaven’s What I Feel”. And when I say ‘widening this international array’, I mean stretching it like an elastic band as Gloria’s song was also recorded in Spanish as “Corazón Prohibdo” and French as “Amour Infini”. It received generally positive reviews with plaudits for it being a pop/dance crossover hit and for the fact that Estefan hadn’t resorted to a big ballad as she had done for so many of her hits previously. It sounds to me though like a song from a musical, moving a Romeo and Juliet style plot along but with enough beats to keep the audience tapping their feet. Actually, has there been a Gloria Estefan jukebox musical?

*checks internet*

Yes, there has. I thought there was and it’s called On Your Feet! and guess what? “Heaven’s What I Feel” is not one of the numbers featured in it. Missed a trick there Gloria.

We’re back in dear old Blighty next with “four young ladies who are widely tipped to be the next big thing” according to Jo Whiley. Wow! Who can she be talking about? No, she can’t mean N–Tyce can she?! The All Saints wannabes (check out their carbon copy cargo pants) who’d been around for a year, released three singles of which none got higher than No 12 and whose album peaked at No 44?! That N-Tyce? Couldn’t Whiley have come up with a more suitable intro? It’s almost sarcastic in its tone. “Boom Boom” was the fourth and final of those singles and it really is lowest common denominator stuff. The lyrics to the chorus are:

“Ooh it’s boom boom, hey it’s boom boom, yeah it’s boom boom, ooh it’s boom boom”

It’s not Radiohead is it? Apologies to Ario, Chantal, Donna and Michelle (yes I obviously had to look their names up) and they could, of course say “who are you to judge us and our four medium sized hits? Where’s your hits?” and that would be absolutely valid but ‘the next big thing’? No chance.

Our international tour finishes back in Ireland where we find, according to Jo Whiley in her intro, the youngest ever all girl group to have a No 1 record. Not only that but they’ve gone straight in week one at the top which not even the Spice Girls nor All Saints could lay claim to. Now surely these girls were the act that you should have been referring to as ‘the next big thing’ Jo? Two of the four piece act are the sisters of Boyzone’s Shane Lynch, a connection which actually works against my global theme rather. Three people not just from the same country but from the same family across two different acts. It’s all a bit parochial.

B*Witched appeared fully formed seemingly from nowhere and went straight to the top with their debut release “C’est La Vie”. Every year during the late 90s there seemed to be a single that would cause a selling sensation – “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt, “MMMBop” by Hanson, “Killing Me Softly” by The Fugees and now this one. The very definition of joyful, this bubbly (if cheesy) pop confection bounced around your head almost as energetically as the girls bounced around the TOTP studio stage whilst performing it. Seriously, the whole thing was just exhausting. In some ways, it was preposterous. The Irish dancing breakdown section is sonically and visually ludicrous and the “Fight like me Da as well” line cranks up the cringe factor but somehow it all hangs together and just works. Indeed, the bridge into the chorus is almost pop perfection.

“C’est La Vie” would kickstart a period of undiluted and outright commercial success for the group with their first four singles all going to No 1 whilst their debut eponymous album went double platinum. That level of popularity proved hard to maintain and, almost inevitably, there was a downturn in sales come the release of second album “Awake And Breathe” and its attendant singles. By the time it came to recording a third album, the jig was up and they were dropped by their label Sony leading to the group splitting in 2002. Their management’s decision to base the vocals and focal point around Edele Lynch probably didn’t help build career longevity with the resentment it caused amongst the other group members. Those tensions were brought out into the open again when a spot on ITV reality show The Big Reunion in 2012 reactivated the B*Witched name but they were resolved enough that they could tour again and release new material in the form of two EPs.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Natalie Imbruglia	Wishing I Was There	I did not
2	Boyzone	All That I Need	Never
3	Super Furry Animals	Ice Hockey Hair	Liked it, didn’t buy it
4	Mousse T versus Hot ‘n’ Juicy	Horny ’98	Definitely not
5	Spice Girls	Viva Forever	Nope
6	Gloria Estefan	Heaven’s What I Feel	Nah
7	N-Tyce	Boom Boom	No
8	B*Witched	C’est La Vie	No but it was a favourite of my wife’s

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.