TOTP 23 MAR 1995

Ah crap! It’s been a good run but it’s finally come to an end. Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo is back hosting TOTP! He says later in this show that he hasn’t been on presenting duties since the previous October. I haven’t checked to see if that’s true but regardless, I’d have gladly never seen the w****r anchoring the show again. He always seemed to me to treat it as his own personal promotional vehicle, making it all about him with his annoying, cryptic one liners and ridiculous tailoring.

He starts off by saying that there’s no public flogging on tonight’s show. What?! Was this something to do with the sentencing of Eric Cantona for his kung fu style assault of a Crystal Palace fan which took place on the very same day this TOTP went out? Eric got 14 days in prison pending an appeal which he subsequently won and saw his sentence reduced to 120 hours of community service. So, not exactly a public flogging then Simon.

With the first example of Mayo’s inane drivel dispensed with, it’s time for the opening act who is Sean Maguire. He was the ex-EastEnders and Grange Hill actor who had decided that he was wasting his time with all that TV work and what the world really needed was to bear witness to his singing talents while he ‘testified’* on stage. So far, he’d made a decent stab at the transformation with a couple of middling sized hits the previous year and now he was back with his third single “Suddenly”. Nothing to do with the Billy Ocean hit of the same name, this was just more pop-by-numbers stuff designed to appeal to the teen market with an instrumental break written in to allow for the obligatory dance routine to be included. I mean, it’s a catchy little ditty but it’s hardly a pop music masterpiece. Even so, it had more longevity than Sean’s fashion gimmick which saw him with a top tied around his waist even though he was wearing a jacket over his singlet. Why did he need the jacket if he was too warm to wear the top? This didn’t make any sense at all. Maybe it was de rigueur fashion accessorising in 1995? We’ll certainly see more examples of it later on in the show.

* © Smash Hits circa 1985

Mayo really is a prick. In his second intro, he makes a reference to Peter Tatchell, the human and gay rights campaigner when announcing Tin Tin Out as the next artist. Why? Well, I think that he was referring to a current news story about Tatchell’s involvement with the direct action group OutRage! who ran a campaign to out 20 MPs who publicly supported anti-gay legislation whilst secretly living gay personal lives. One such MP was Sir James Kilfedder who died of a heart attack three days before this TOTP was broadcast just as the Belfast Telegraph ran a story that he was one of the politicians targeted. A sensitive story you would think. Not to Mayo. That’s source material for a cheap line while he presents a pop music programme. Tin Tin Out? Geddit? Like I said, a prick.

Anyway, back to the music and Tin Tin Out were an electronic music duo who mixed hits for some of the biggest names like Erasure and Pet Shop Boys but they also had a sideline in hits under their own name. “Always (Something There To Remind Me)” was their second such hit peaking at No 14. A version of the Bacharach and David song that Sandie Shaw took to the top of the charts in 1964, it was a cover in the loosest sense of the word. Basically they took the song’s distinctive melody, added a house beat to it and roped in vocalist Vanessa Contenay-Quinones of the duo Espiritu to sing (rather badly here I would add) the song’s title repeatedly. It sounds horrible to my ears. Perhaps to offset this infernal racket, there are four half naked backing dancers (with their tops tied around their waists as per Sean Maguire) making the female members of the audience react as if it were The Chippendales they were watching.

Tin Tin Out would find further success later in the decade with covers of The Sundays (“Here’s Where The Story Ends”) and Edie Brickell (“What I Am”). The latter was with ex-Spice Girl Emma Bunton which was released on the same day as Gerri Halliwell’s “Lift Me Up” causing a chart battle to see who would be No 1. In the end, Ginger won out over Baby.

By the way, if I wanted a cover of “Always (Something There To Remind Me)” – which I did apparently in 1983 as I bought this single – then there’s always this…

I may have succumbed to some ropey old synth pop version of a 60s classic in 1983 but there was no way I was falling for this next load of old tosh twelve years later. I know we’ve seen many an act bag themselves a huge hit and basically just repeat the song with a few tweaks for the follow up over the years but this by Rednex really was scandalous. After the horror that was their No 1 single “Cotton Eye Joe”, they almost literally put out the same record again for their next one. As a result, “Old Pop In An Oak” was every bit as dreadful as its predecessor. Despite not making the Top 10, enough poor saps bought it in sufficient quantities to send it to No 12. What the hell happened people?!

In 1993, Duran Duran pulled off the seemingly impossible by escaping the from the box the public had put them in labelled ‘They used to be famous in the 80s’ and coming up with a hit single that put them back into the Top 10 for the first time in four years with “Ordinary World”. Not only that but its parent album was a million seller in the US and went gold in the UK. They were back and had momentum on their side. What they did with that momentum was tantamount to commercial and artistic suicide. Whose idea was it to record an album of cover versions? Or perhaps the question should be ‘whose idea was it to record an album of those cover versions?’.

Take the lead single from the “Thank You” album for example. Wasn’t Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” seen as sacrosanct at the time? What were they boys thinking? However, the phrase ‘at the time’ really should have been in italics for it has been covered by many an artist since and I don’t remember the same amount of cries of heresy as were reserved for the Duran boys? Indeed, just three months after this, Kirsty MacColl released her own version with Evan Dando of The Lemonheads to promote her Best Of album “Galore” and I’m pretty sure there weren’t any cries of “Heresy!” from anyone. By 1997, just about every big name in the music business had covered it (sort of). A BBC promotional video to showcase their musical diversity featuring the likes of David Bowie, Elton John, Bono, Heather Small, Brett Anderson of Suede, Tom Jones, Gabrielle, Evan Dando (again!) and perhaps most memorably Dr John (“such a poyfick day”) was absolutely fêted by the public; so much so that it was released as a single and went to No 1 for three weeks. All of this leads me to believe that it was more about who was doing the cover version and it was a case of everybody else = good, Duran Duran = bad.

Or maybe it wasn’t even about this track? After all, Lou Reed is on record as saying the Duran version was the best recording of any of his songs. Was it the other covers on “Thank You” that offended so? Taking on songs by Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello and Iggy Pop was ill judged but to navigate “White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)” by Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel and Public Enemy’s “911 Is A Joke” was clinically insane. The readers of Q magazine were so incensed that in a 2006 poll, they voted “Thank You” the worst album of all time. So was it that bad? Well, I’ve often found myself on the wrong side of popular opinion and I did buy a couple of Duran Duran albums in the 80s but on the whole, even I would say it was a not a clever career move. As so it proved. After the critical backlash “Thank You” received, the band floundered. Follow up album “Medazzaland” didn’t even get released in Europe with the record buying public seemingly only interested in their past glories – a Best Of collection called “Greatest” made No 4 when released in 1998. It would take a reunion of the classic line up in 2004 to return them towards the top of the charts when the “Astronaut” album made No 3.

Talking of the classic line up, that’s Roger Taylor on drums in this TOTP performance which took me by surprise as he hadn’t had anything to do with the band since leaving in 1986. Apparently he played on three tracks for the “Thank You” album and appeared in the video for “Perfect Day”. Meanwhile, bassist John Taylor seems to have taken leave of his fashion senses – a checked shirt matched with stripey trousers?!

Next a band who in many ways replaced Duran Duran in the affections of the teen market as the boys from Birmingham’s popularity dwindled in the late 80s. Wet Wet Wet were on a commercial high come the mid 90s. They’d had that single in 1994 at No 1 for fifteen weeks and now were back with a new hit in the Top 10. Of course, also like Duran Duran, they’d suffered their own decline in approval around 1989-1991 but that was all behind them now.

Following the biggest selling single of the year though was no easy task and “Julia Says” predictably couldn’t get anywhere near the sales of “Love Is All Around”. A high of No 3 was nothing to be sniffed at though even if the track itself wasn’t their strongest by a mile and it did help propel parent album “Picture This” to No 1 and a million sales. The hits kept coming until the end of the decade when Marti Pellow left the band to deal with his addiction issues. Wet Wet Wet are still a going concern but only just. Graeme Clark is the only remaining member of the original four piece line up though they have just announced a co-headlining tour with perennials of the nostalgia circuit Go West.

A case next of an appearance on TOTP not helping the sales of a single. “Original” by Leftfield featuring Tony Halliday was a new entry on the chart this week at No 18 but it would fall to No 35 seven days later despite the exposure of this performance. To be fair, the sound of the track didn’t exactly lend itself to a turn on TV. Its dark, dubby rhythms allied to Halliday’s almost deadpan vocals weren’t a perfect match for the medium of TV. Not that it isn’t a good track – it is but it acts almost as a visual downer in amongst the scream-inducing likes of Sean Maguire and Wet Wet Wet. Yes, there are some shrieks from the studio audience at times during “Original” but I get the impression they were falsely manufactured by the prompting of a floor manager.

Leftfield were, of course, influential production team Neil Barnes and Paul Daley who’d already had a hit under their own steam when they collaborated with John Lydon on the hypnotic “Open Up” in 1994. Toni Halliday was the lead singer with shoe gazing / dance beat hybrid Curve who’d had a handful of minor hit singles and two moderately successful albums to this point but whose legacy was to open the doors for the likes of Garbage to stride through. The album “Original” came from was the Mercury Prize nominated “Leftism” which is widely regarded as a milestone moment in dance music. Listening to this track now, it sounds very like Portishead to me whose album “Dummy” beat “Leftism” to the aforementioned Mercury Prize in 1995.

Next another band who like Wet Wet Wet are trying to follow up the biggest hit of their career. East 17 may not have had the best selling single of the year like the Wets but they did have the Christmas No 1 with all the sales that brings with it. Surely they couldn’t bag another chart topper with their next release? The short answer is no they couldn’t but they did keep their record of consecutive Top 10 hits going with “Let It Rain” taking the tally to five.

After the balladry of “Stay Another Day”, it was back to the sound on which they made their name – a hard-hitting, quick house beats dance floor-filler with a shouty yet catchy chorus. Its intro has Tony Mortimer going all Prince-like in “Let’s Go Crazy” mode, preaching from the pulpit before the beats hit about corridors of creation and colliding comets. Actually, he sounds a bit like Gary Clail of On-U Sound fame.

I’d have to say that apart from that intro, it’s not one of their most memorable tunes, not quite the banger it wants to be. Talking of which, Terry Coldwell (the bloke in the singlet on the left in this performance and only remaining original member still with the group) was in the news recently when he participated in a Counties Radio competition where presenter Justin Dealey would ask people in the street to sing a song and if he judged it good enough, he would buy them a hot dog as a reward. Snappily entitled ‘Sing a banger for a banger’, Coldwell rocked up and sang “Stay Another Day” but was denied his prize on account of sounding too authentic!

Mayo’s back with his crappy jokes now as he name checks the boxer Chris Eubank. As far as I understand it, by saying that Chris’s favourite song was “Hypnotised” by Simple Minds, he was referring to the fact that Eubank had recently lost his WBO super middleweight title to Steve Collins who had employed a guru to help him prepare mentally for the fight leading the press to believe that Collins was hypnotised for the bout. As Eubanks entered the ring before the fight, Collins sat in his corner motionless with headphones on, giving more credence to the rumour. None of this backstory makes Mayo’s quip funny though. Look mate, you’re just there to introduce the acts not perform a stand up routine. Just do your job.

Anyway, this was the second and last single from the “Good News From The Next World” album and it wasn’t very good. Not only was it completely soporific but I’m sure they’d used that bridge part before in a previous hit. In short, poor on quality and lethargic of effort. Must do better.

By the way, what was going on with guitarist Charlie Burchill?! Back in 1984, I’d desperately coveted his look but he just looks weird here. Horrible hair and a jacket that looks like he’d borrowed it from a pearly king. And I thought John Taylor’s wardrobe was suss.

The Comic Relief single “Love Can Build A Bridge” by Cher, Neneh Cherry, Chrissie Hynde and Eric Clapton has, rather predictably, brought an end to Celine Dion’s run at No 1 and to quote Captain Sensible’s 1982 hit “Wot”, ain’t I glad. Beware though. This respite will only last a week before a new menace takes residence in the top spot…

Just before the credits roll, there’s a plug for the BBC’s A Song for Europe show to pick this year’s UK Eurovision entry. It seemed quite an elongated process. There was a Top of the Pops Song for Europe Special show that Mayo mentions where each of the competing songs was showcased but that wasn’t the point where the winner was chosen. No, there was another programme a week later where that decision was made by a public vote. Each artist also had a celebrity champion advocating for them. Some of the entrants were well known – Londonbeat for example (who sounded dreadful in the clip at the end of this TOTP) plus recent chart stars Deuce and Samantha Fox fronting Sox. The rest of them I have no idea about except the actual winner of course who were Love City Groove who trounced everybody with over 140,000 votes. The artist placed second got 81,000 by comparison. Things didn’t work out for Love City Groove on the big day but that’s a story for another post.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Sean MaguireSuddenlyAs if
2Tin Tin Out featuring EspirituAlways (Something There To Remind Me)No
3RednexOld Pop In An OakHell no!
4Duran DuranPerfect DayNope
5Wet Wet WetJulia SaysNah
6Leftfield featuring Tony HallidayOriginalNo but my wife might have had the album I think
7East 17Let It RainNegative
8Simple MindsHypnotisedI did not
9Cher, Neneh Cherry, Chrissie Hynde and Eric ClaptonLove Can Build A BridgeNot even for charity

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001rb00/top-of-the-pops-23031995

TOTP 05 JAN 1995

It’s time to welcome in the New Year…of 1995. As I recall I was in a curry house in Rusholme, Manchester with my wife and a friend as the midnight struck on New Year’s Eve. The head waiter announced to everyone in the restaurant the following:

“Ladies and gentlemen; we have just slipped into 1995”

…with a very salacious emphasis on the word ‘slipped’. It was all very unsavoury. Anyway, 1995 it was and what a year it would turn out to be. Britpop exploded, the unfashionable Blackburn Rovers win the Premier League (try telling your kids that) and pubs are allowed to stay open throughout Sunday afternoons for the first time.

Meanwhile, over at TOTP, the first new show of the year is hosted by comedian Jack Dee for the second time and who does he introduce as the first artist as we enter the mid point of the 90s? A synth band from the early 80s. Yep, for all its Britpop associations, 1995 opens with The Human League. If you ignore the single “Heart Like A Wheel” which made a lowly No 29 in 1990 (and I am), this was the band’s first major hit since “Human” made the Top 10 in 1986. That song had been a US chart topper with American audiences unable to resist the band’s attempt at a soul ballad, aided by Janet Jackson producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. However, their 1995 offering “Tell Me When” was nothing like “Human” and was instead a return to their early 80s synth sound on which they’d made their name. The lead single from seventh studio album “Octopus” (terrible title), it really did sound like an anachronism – a pleasant anachronism but an anachronism all the same. Quite why it cut through with the record buying public of early 1995 I’m not quite sure although it did top the airplay charts so obviously that will have boosted its chances.

Phil Oakey’s distinctive vocals sound ever so slightly wobbly in this TOTP performance, not helped by the amount of words in the lyrics of the verses; there seem to be too many causing him to almost stumble. Still, the chorus is an absolute winner recalling the glories of “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” and “Don’t You Want Me”. The band were being promoted as a trio of Phil, Susan Sulley and Joanne Catherall by this point and I have to say I don’t recognise the other three guys up their on stage with them. I think most of the classic line up had departed by then. The sight of all six just standing in a straight line like a New Romantic chorus line is a bit jarring but they just about get away with it with Susan’s Sally Bowles from Cabaret vibe the standout. And Phil still had hair!

The album was their first for new label eastwest since being released by Virgin Records and performed solidly going to No 6 and producing another hit single in the Susan Sulley sung “One Man In My Heart”. Heartened by their success, the band went back out on tour whilst Virgin decided to cash in on their former charges by rereleasing their 1988 Greatest Hits album but with “Tell Me When” tacked onto it. A challenge this year from Pulp to the title of the biggest band from Sheffield not withstanding, The Human League were back.

Despite a new song to start a new year (albeit from an old artist), the charts around this time were usually stagnated after the Christmas rush and the next song is the first of four that we’ve already seen not that long ago on the show. In fact this one, “Eternal Love” by PJ & Duncan, had already peaked at No 12 and started descending the charts but the slow sales after the Christmas rush had created a rather false scenario which saw the record go back up the Top 40 from No 16 to No 14.

I’ve recently been binge watching the Channel 4 sit com Derry Girls (I know, where have I been?!) and there’s an episode where the gang go to see a Take That concert in Belfast. Inevitably, various events delay them on their journey including an escaped polar bear and a bomb scare. When they realise that they are running late, one of the characters points out that they’ve already missed the support act who are PJ & Duncan. Expressions of crushing disappointment ensue amongst the group. This got me thinking – was that based on fact or a work of fiction courtesy of the script writers? So I checked. As Derry Girls is set in the 90s and the episode concerned occurs at a time when Robbie Williams was still in the band, I checked for concerts between 1992 and 1995 and as far as I can tell, PJ & Duncan did not support Take That. The support acts that I found listed were Eternal, Ultimate Kaos and an act called Overlord X.

Just in case my Take That concert research hasn’t made me look sad enough, I think that I should say, in the spirit of full disclosure, that I have actively attended a Take That concert myself! It was in 2009 and I went because my younger sister (a big fan) had been let down by a friend who was meant to be going with her so I stepped into the breach. And you know what, they were great fun making the crowd forget all about the terrible weather (it was at Old Trafford cricket ground in Manchester). Oh and the support that day? It was meant to be a young Lady Ga Ga and some bloke called Gary Go but Ga Ga went doolally and didn’t turn up so we got an extended set from Mr Go. It could have been worse I suppose – it could have been PJ & Duncan.

A future No 1 incoming. For now though, “Think Twice” by Celine Dion is up to No 4 on its 9th week inside the Top 40. It would get held up at No 2 for a further three weeks before finally getting to the chart summit. Its thirteen consecutive weeks rise to the top was a chart record and when it got there it stayed for nearly two months. Why was it so enduring? Well, the UK record buying public had already shown in spectacular fashion in the 90s that it was an utter sucker for big ballads with the towering stretches at the top of the charts of “Love Is All Around” and “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” and “Think Twice” was certainly a big ballad so maybe we shouldn’t have been too surprised by its success. Plus, Celine had already put us on notice of her penchant for a huge love song with her cover of Jennifer Rush’s “The Power Of Love” so she had it in her armoury to inflict some major damage on the charts. Added to all of that, “Think Twice” was written by Andy Hill and Peter Sinfield who had a history when it came to writing UK chart toppers having been responsible for “The Land Of Make Believe” for Bucks Fizz. Even so, the song’s tenure in the charts and slow gestation to becoming a No 1 did seem like an anomaly. I think I’ll leave it at that for now. Seven weeks at No 1? Sheesh!

Becoming more regular than Rishi Sunak reciting his five pledges, here comes another future No 1 and unbelievably it’s worse than Celine Dion’s chart topper. Much worse. We have reached a definite low point in 90s music. The time of Rednex is upon us. Who were these people that were responsible for one of the rottenest singles of the decade? Well, they were a trio of Swedish producers who hit upon the idea / dastardly plot to fuse Eurodance and American country folk music into a diabolical hybrid. The first result of this experiment of the devil was “Cotton Eye Joe”, a bastardised version of “Cotton Eyed Joe”, a 19th century song that possibly had its origins in the slave communities working on plantations in the Deep South. It’s a ridiculous notion cheaply executed.

They needed some stooges to front the single so they recruited this ragtag collection of…well…ragtags. To make the whole project look more authentic, they were given rustic stage names which only made the debacle look more risible. Ace Ratclaw, Boneduster Crock, Ken Tacky and my personal favourite Jiggie McClagganahan were just some of the pseudonyms used. With depressing predictability, “Cotton Eye Joe” went to No 1 all around Europe including the UK where it remained in pole position for three weeks. In fact, it would get to the top of the charts before Celine Dion and would be the record they kept her at No 2 for three consecutive weeks. So, let me get this straight; we are looking at ten weeks at No 1 spilt between records by Rednex and Celine Dion. Yeah, 1995, the year of Britpop my arse!

It’s purveyors of melodic UK rock Thunder next who had been having consistent yet decidedly average sized hits since the start of the decade. Albums wise it was a different story though. Their second album “Laughing On Judgement Day” had gone straight in at No 2 and sold 100,000 copies in 1992/3. This single – “Stand Up” – was the lead single from follow up “Behind Closed Doors” which itself went silver and peaked at No 5. However, “Stand Up” couldn’t disrupt the pattern of middling success for Thunder singles when it peaked at No 23. Of the eighteen UK Top 40 hits the band achieved, none went higher than No 18.

I don’t recall “Stand Up” at all but listening back to it, there’s a definite whiff of “Crazy Horses” by The Osmonds to it. No really, listen to that chugging guitar backing. Well, I guess as a rock band they couldn’t really have done a cover of “Love Me For A Reason” could they?! Ahem.

A true one hit wonder next – one huge, mega smash and then zip, nada, nothing although to be fair to Ini Kamoze, he had been around for years making reggae/dancehall material with the likes of Sly and Robbie before his big commercial breakthrough with “Here Comes The Hotstepper”. I didn’t know any of that at the time though. Like most of us I’m guessing, he was the man with the song that went “naaa na na na naaa etc” who also described himself as a “lyrical gangster” as mentioned by Jack Dee in his intro. You had to give it to Ini, his dancehall/hip-hop/ pop fusion tune was damned catchy but then he had lifted said “naaa” hook from “Land Of 1000 Dances” made most famous by Wilson Pickett.

Two other things spring to my mind when talking about “Here Comes The Hotstepper”. Firstly, its use in one of the worst films I’ve ever had the misfortune to see – PrêtàPorter. A satirical-comedy (supposedly) on the circus that is Paris Fashion Week, it is one of only two films I have ever considered walking out of. The other was Young Einstein starring Yahoo Serious which I did leave before the end and whilst I made it to the end of Prêtà-Porter, it turned out that the two people I went to see it with had spent the entire movie on the verge of leaving as well.

Secondly, and I can find no evidence of this online but I’m sure that it happened, when one of those hit compilations came out around this time that included “Here Comes The Hotstepper”, the track listing didn’t show Ini Kamoze but ‘I’m A Kamikaze’. I swear this happened but 29 years later I can’t remember which hits album it was on. My first thought was the relevant entry in the Now series but all the images online of the track listing for Now 31 show the correct spelling. Maybe it was an error on initial copies and any reorders were corrected? I don’t know but I’m convinced that it happened. “Here Comes The Hotstepper” made No 4 in the UK and was a No 1 record the US.

And so to a band who did feel able to do a cover of The Osmonds’ “Love Me For A Reason” but then Boyzone were hardly Thunder. With Take That still at the height of their commercial appeal at this point, was there really a need or indeed gap in the market for another boy band? Apparently there was as the five, fresh faced Irish lads were up to No 2 with their debut UK hit. Before the 90s were said and done, they would have accrued a further 15 none of which peaked lower than No 4 and included 6 chart toppers. Admittedly, two thirds of them (and all of those No 1s) came after Take That had called it a day (or so we thought) in 1996 and there definitely was an opening down the boy band Job Centre. Even so, despite their obvious credentials for the position, you’d have to say they took full advantage of the opportunity.

The band set out their stall early on with this performance. Ronan Keating was clearly the main guy with his gold coloured jacket while the rest of them are in black but, as co-vocalist, Stephen Gateley gets to share the spotlight alongside Ronan. The other three guys are relegated to the back to spend most of their time doing what can only be described as ‘arm dancing’ – seriously, they hardly move their feet at all during the whole thing. Westlife would take this inaction to a new level when they turned up as the decade was ending and seemed to spend most of their time singing sickly ballads whilst sat on stools.

We end with another boy band (of sorts) as East 17 remain at the top with Christmas No 1 “Stay Another Day”. This was literally the moment when the band were at their peak. A week later they were deposed from their throne by Rednex and they would never return to the chart summit. That’s not to say they weren’t heard of again. 1995 would bring two more hit singles from their “Steam” album plus a third studio album in “Up All Night” with the lead single from it going to No 4. By early 1997 though, Brian Harvey had given that radio interview and things would start to unravel…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The Human LeagueTell Me WhenNope
2PJ & DuncanEternal LoveNah
3Celine DionThink TwiceAs if
4RednexCotton Eye JoeNO!!!
5ThunderStand UpNah
6I’m A Kamikaze Ini KamozeHere Comes The HotstepperNo but I think my wife did
7BoyzoneLove Me For A ReasonNever happening
8East 17 Stay Another DayNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001nq1m/top-of-the-pops-05011995

TOTP 08 DEC 1994

Christmas is coming but the charts aren’t full of facts. The Top 40 announced on the Sunday before this TOTP contained incorrect information. Apparently there were some Woolworths shops that couldn’t retrieve their sales data to send to chart compilers Millward Brown so the tech guys were deployed to extract it. This they did except it was the wrong data. They just duplicated the Friday sales figures instead of Saturday’s and by the time the mistake was noticed it was too late as the Top 40 had been published and announced on Radio 1. Millward Brown chose to style it out by retrospectively compiling the correct chart but it was never made available to the public other than by using it as the basis for the ‘last week’ positions for the following week’s chart. It must have played havoc with the minds of all the Top 40 nerds devotees out there. TOTP decided to go with the chart that Radio 1 had initially announced rather than the revised one but in the end, the cock up hadn’t made that much difference to many records with only minor adjustments of a place or two being required – I think the biggest was that Mariah Carey should have been at No 5 rather than No 6.

Anyway, none of the above is mentioned by guest presenter Neneh Cherry who is the holder of the ‘golden mic’ chalice this week. Neneh had been back in the charts of course in a big way in 1994 alongside Youssou N’Dour on “7 Seconds” but even so, I’m not sure that she had the pull that she would have had 5 years previously. Still, she had a nice delivery style and brought a certain amount of credibility to proceedings. Her first job is to introduce the opening act who is Whigfield who had the unenviable task of trying to follow up a massive selling debut single somehow. And how do you do that? As we have seen so many times in the course of these TOTP repeats, you take the original record, add a few minor changes, give it a different song title and release it all over again. Listen to the banking track on “Another Day” – exactly the same as “Saturday Night”. To try and fool the record buying public into purchasing a single they’d already bought once, the producer behind the Whigfield brand – one Larry Pignagnoli – mixed things up by stealing the groove from Mungo Jerry’s 1970 No 1 “In The Summertime” (main Mungo Ray Dorset would receive a writing credit ultimately). It’s all very unsatisfactory and underhand really but it got Whigfield a Top 10 hit just in time for the Christmas party season. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – nice work if you can get it.

Of course, party dance tunes wasn’t the only way to bag yourself a Christmas hit. A nice ballad was also a strong and proven strategy. Many an artist had pulled off the trick of coming out with a ‘slowie’ in contrast to their previous material over the years – Wet Wet Wet (“Angel Eyes”), The Christians (“Ideal World”) and Bros (“Cat Among The Pigeons”) from the late 80s spring to mind but I’m sure there’s loads more examples. Not impervious to this idea were PJ & Duncan whose previous hits had all been uptempo examples of their brand of pop rap but the fifth single from their album “Psyche” and their fourth hit of the year broke that mould. I guess with a title like “Eternal Love” we shouldn’t have been surprised. Aimed squarely at the teenage girl’s market, it’s as wet and drippy as a poor quality nappy. Do you think this was their attempt at following in LL Cool J’s footsteps when he slowed things down for his hit “I Need Love”?

At this fledgling stage of their career, there were still a few things the duo had to sort out and come to a decision on. Firstly, PJ / Ant’s hat – what was that all about?! So that we could tell them apart?! I’m not sure how long this style affectation lasted but at some point it was ditched. Another style decision that was yet to be resolved was actually more of a staging conundrum. Who should stand where. These days, the fact that Ant stands to the left and Dec the right as we look at our TV screens (in reverse for them of course) is well established but it’s the other way round in this performance and I think it has been like that for every TOTP appearance so far. I wonder when and why they changed it? Is there some sort of feng shui consultant but for people whose services you can call upon?

Next up it’s the familiar video for Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” after the The Ronnettes pastiche promo last time. Presumably it wasn’t that familiar back in 1994 though. You can’t avoid it now, so immeshed is it in our festive culture. You could just as easily make a case for a game of Mariah-geddon as Wham-a-geddon. In fact, so ubiquitous is the track that I think the fact that she did a whole album of Christmas songs is almost overlooked. Can you name any of the other tracks on that “Merry Christmas” album without either owning it or looking it up?

Apparently, there were other singles lifted from it (either for commercial release or promotional purposes) though not in the UK I believe. In other territories, “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” and “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) both charted but I’m fairly confident in saying that if you were to hear those songs played on radio in this country it would be the Bruce Springsteen and Darlene Love versions. Despite being No 1 in certain countries, the album only managed a peak of No 32 in the UK. Still, it’s all about that song isn’t it and it’s so far generated $80 million in royalties.

The first TOTP appearance next of a boy band that would last the decade and beyond despite the most inauspicious of beginnings. Boyzone were put together by Louis Walsh (who later found fame himself as a judge on TV shows X Factor and Popstars) with the direct intention of forming an Irish Take That (who were themselves put together by Nigel Martin-Smith to be a British New Kids On The Block). After auditioning 300 hopefuls, an initial six-piece outfit was established and they appeared on Irish talk show The Late Late Show in late 1993 to do…erm…this:

So when I said inauspicious beginnings earlier, what I actually meant was perhaps the most mortifying, ignominious debacle ever witnessed on TV. Sheesh! What were they thinking?! What was Louis Walsh thinking?! Was anybody thinking?! Despite that…whatever it was…the group weren’t killed stone dead by it and somehow got signed by Polygram. There were casualties though. Two of the original line up were ditched and were replaced by Mikey Graham who joined Roman Keating, Stephen Gately, Shane Lynch and Keith Duffy for the release of their debut single, a cover of the Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons / The Spinners hit “Working My Way Back To You” which was a success on the Irish chart but nowhere else. That was all the impetus they needed though and another cover of “Love Me For A Reason” (made famous by The Osmonds) would make them bona fide chart stars when it made No 2 over Christmas in the UK singles chart.

Watching this TOTP performance back, it’s clear that some drastic styling had gone on since that turn on The Late Late Show. They’ve all been kitted out with suits and super wide collar shirts to create a sense of unity and their dancing has been stripped back to a few synchronised arm movements and sidesteps. No more freestyle workouts for these boys. It just about hangs together well enough to deliver the song. They would go on to have another fifteen hit singles before the decade was out including six No 1s and six No 2s. The time of Boyzone (not Boys’ Own Neneh) was upon us.

Gloria Estefan does U2? Of course not – it’s not the same song at all although their similar titles could cause confusion I guess. Gloria’s hit is a cover of the 50s song “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” taken from her album of the same name. U2, on the other hand, contributed a song to the soundtrack of the movie Batman Forever called “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”. Hope that clarifies everything.

Gloria’s single did surprisingly well for her just missing out on the Top 10 by one place and thereby becoming her biggest hit since “Megamix / Miami Hit Mix” made No 8 promoting her Best Of album two years prior. You had to go back to 1989 and “Don’t Wanna Lose You” for her previous Top 10 hit. Maybe it was the Christmas factor that allowed Gloria to hit big with a familiar if not well known love song? She would never have such a high placing single in the UK charts again though she has continued to release albums up to the present day with the last being 2022’s Christmas collection. What with Gloria and Mariah both having done Christmas albums, all we need now is one from Madonna for a full set. Or maybe we don’t…need a Madonna Christmas album that is.

Now here’s EYC following the same game plan as PJ & Duncan earlier in that they’re ditching their usual high tempo mix of pop and R&B for a slow smoocher for the Christmas market. “One More Chance” was all sighs and harmonies but very little in the way substance or indeed a tune. In short, it was a stinker.

PJ & Duncan weren’t the only influence on the trio though. They must have been watching Boyzone in rehearsals with their shirts and suits and decided that they wanted a piece of that action. Are they morning suits they’re wearing?! They also seem to have pinched some of Ronan and co’s stripped back dance moves but then completely blow the whole effect by attempting to outdo them with the addition of a totally incongruous accessory. What were the white gloves all about? They look like snooker referees on the pull! Utter nonsense. Talk about “Snooker Loopy”! Brave heart though as I think this lousy lot have just one more hit single in them and then their table will have been cleared.

Cliff Richard is no stranger to a duet. He’s performed alongside the likes of Sarah Brightman, Elton John, Van Morrison, Olivia Newton John, Cilla Black and this guy – Phil Everly and not just once but twice. Back in 1983, Cliff and Phil took “She Means Nothing To Me” to No 9 in the UK charts. I didn’t mind it actually although obviously I never let anyone at school know this. Fast forward 11 years and the two were reunited for a curious collaboration. How so? Well, there was nothing particularly odd about their choice of song; “All I Have To Do Is Dream” had been a No 1 for The Everly Brothers in 1958 so it was a song Phil had been performing for over 35 years. Cliff meanwhile had his first hit “Move It” in the very same year so was a contemporary of Phil’s and would of course know the song. Cliff was promoting a Best Of collection for Christmas in 1994 called “The Hit List” which rounded up all his highest charting singles to date (those that went Top 5 or higher) but curiously also included one that only made No 15. “Miss You Nights” was a hit in 1976 but was included on “The Hit List” as it was a fan favourite.

“So what?” you may ask. Well, a remix of “Miss You Nights” was released as a single to promote the album which seems an unexpected choice of song given the nature of the album’s track listing criteria. That wasn’t all though. It was released as a double A-side single with a live version of “All I Have To Do Is Dream” which wasn’t on the album at all! OK, then maybe it was on an album by Phil Everly and it was promoting that? Not according to my research – his last solo album had been in 1983. There was a 105 track Everly Brothers box set released in 1994 but surely that would have been for super fans and completists only. I can’t believe the Cliff/Phil single was anything to do with that. So what was the rationale behind its release? Yes, obviously Christmas was on the way and Cliff had absolutely cornered the Christmas singles market in recent years but did his record company EMI really think he could garner another festive No 1 with this? In the end, it scampered up the charts to No 14 so nowhere near replicating the success of “Mistletoe And Wine” or “Saviour’s Day”. Phil never released another solo single after this whilst Cliff would return in 1995 with his musical project Heathcliff which he conceived, starred in and allowed him to release an album of songs from.

Next up is “the very attractive Jimmy Nail” according to Neneh Cherry. Jimmy’s transition from Oz in Auf Wiedersehen Pet, who was an extremely likeable character but hardly a pin up, to the sleek, some may say chiselled, pop star/actor we see here was quite a thing. Obviously he’d lost quite a bit of weight since he first appeared on our screens but was it also something to do with the more endearing roles we were seeing him perform in Spender and Crocodile Shoes? I think it’s a possibility.

Talking of roles, a reader reminded me in reply to a previous post where I wondered whatever happened to Jimmy that as well as the two shows mentioned above, he was also kept busy with a third and fourth series of Auf Wiedersehen Pet in 2002 and 2004 respectively and two hour long episodes called Au Revoir that were broadcast in the Christmas of 2004. As for “Crocodile Shoes” the single, was at its chart peak of No 4 this week; a significant success though I don’t think it ever really had a chance of being the Christmas No 1.

East 17 are No 1 with “Stay Another Day” and will remain there for 5 weeks to become the festive chart topper as well. As I recall, the Christmas chart was actually announced on the TOTP broadcast on the big day itself and I was convinced that Oasis would pip both East 17 and Mariah Carey to the crown with their standalone single “Whatever”. They seemed to have timed its release just right with it being available for the first time just the week before and with the buzz about the band reaching boiling point and judging by the amounts we were selling if it in the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester, it seemed like a shoo-in to me. I was amazed when they were announced at No 3 and cried foul, stating something didn’t smell right. However, there were no such stories of rigging in the papers and media. I clearly was letting my Oasis tinted glasses cloud my judgement.

The Walthamstow boys were rightly crowned the Kings of Christmas and their song has gone into the great cannon of festive tunes. Although we get another studio appearance here, there were actually two promo videos made for the single though I only remember seeing one of them at the time. I assume they were made at the same time but the one I saw back in 1994 was the one of the bend seen laying down the track in a recording studio. The one that we now see every December of the band in oversized, white fur trimmed parkas shot in black and white floating about in a snow storm shocked me when I first saw it as it was many years after 1994 and I’d long since left working in record shops behind. How could I have missed seeing it in all those intervening years?

And that’s a wrap for 1994 here at TOTP Rewind. The shows broadcast on the 15th and 22nd December were pulled from the BBC4 repeats schedule as they both featured Gary Glitter. I’ve checked the running order for those shows though and we’re not missing much. Rednex, Mighty Morph’n Power Rangers, Celine Dion, Zig & Zag…it couldn’t be much worse. They did show the Christmas Day edition hosted by Take That (obviously) but it didn’t feature any hits I hadn’t already commented on and so I’m not regurgitating all that again. I will do my own review of 1994 post (the epilogue) as usual though.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1WhigfieldAnother DayAs if
2PJ & DuncanEternal LoveInfernal racket more like! No!
3Mariah CareyAll I Want For Christmas Is YouNope
4BoyzoneLove Me For A ReasonNo
5Gloria EstefanHold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss MeNah
6EYCOne More ChanceNo chance more like!
7Cliff Richard & Phil EverlyAll I Have To Do Is DreamDidn’t happen
8Jimmy NailCrocodile ShoesI did not
9East 17Stay Another DayAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mwfx/top-of-the-pops-08121994

TOTP 01 DEC 1994

Christmas is coming but that hasn’t encouraged TOTP to go the full festive hog and have Santa Claus as a guest presenter in the ‘golden mic’ slot. They might not have the fella with the big white beard on the show but they have got someone with a huge blonde wig. Paul O’Grady’s drag queen character Lily Savage had been around the live circuits and doing residencies at various gay pubs in London since the early 80s but by 1994 was starting to break through into mainstream entertainment. The live tours took in bigger venues and would result in VHS releases. TV and film work was also starting to come through but a presenting slot on the BBC’s flagship music show before the watershed was maybe Lily’s biggest gig yet at the time. Chat shows and panel games would follow but as the new millennium dawned, O’Grady effectively retired the character and it is testament to the appeal of his own personality that in the second half of his career, before his untimely death earlier this year, that he managed to overshadow his drag queen alter ego. I’m sure head producer Ric Blaxill would have been chuffed with the coup of landing O’Grady/Savage. Just the sort of booking to shake up the old format.

We start with an artist who, if not exactly shaking things up, was quietly going about subverting some of the established norms of the traditional TOTP performance. Watching this Sophie B. Hawkins appearance back, the word that comes to mind is ‘kooky’ I think. If I’m remembering correctly, the last time she was on the show to perform her single “Right Beside You”, she had a bongo drum permanently attached to her and a bicycle positioned next to her on stage for no discernible reason. This time, for the follow up “Don’t Don’t Tell Me No”, she’s got a Wintery park bench scene set up and she starts her performance by striding around it purposefully in a circle. It looks a bit batty but I’m just hoping it was genuine and not staged.

As for the song, it’s a lot more poppy than I was expecting with a sweet, catchy hook but sadly for Sophie, it would get no further than No 36 despite this exposure. She would have one more UK Top 40 hit before leaving her record company Sony in a dispute about artistic integrity. She continued to release music on her own label Trumpet Swan Productions and in 2013 appeared in cult US sitcom Community as herself.

In the time I’ve been writing this TOTP blog, I must have covered a dozen or so singles by Roxette stretching back to 1989 but even by the fag end of 1994, they still weren’t quite done with releasing their brand of catchy, soft rock/pop. However, by this point, their spell over the UK record buying public, if not broken was seriously starting to lose its potency. “Run To You” (nothing to do with Bryan Adams) was the duo’s fourth single of that calendar year and yet none of them had hit higher than No 14. This track was never going to reverse that trend. It’s pleasant enough with a jaunty chorus but, at the risk of sounding like my Dad when I was 14 or 15, they pretty much all sounded the same by this point.

“RunTo You” was the fourth single released from their “Crash! Boom! Bang!” album and peaked at No 27. Rather hopefully a fifth was released in the new year and it failed to make the Top 40 at all which I think was the first time that had happened that decade. Maybe spying that the writing was on the wall, a Best Of album was released in 1995 – the magnificently titled “Don’t Bore Us, Get To The Chorus” – which made No 5 in the UK but which did nothing in America where they’d had a clutch of No 1s just a few years earlier. The hits didn’t quite end here – they had a couple more before the 90s were through but their imperial phase had, to paraphrase one of their songs, faded like a flower.

It’s sobering to reflect that two people in this clip died before their time. Paul O’Grady was only 67 whilst Marie Fredriksson was just 61 when they passed away.

And one of the most fiercely anticipated tracks in the history of music (or something) finally drops (except nobody would have said ‘dropped’ meaning ‘released’ back in 1994). After almost five years of pretty much nothing (the last new material had been the “One Love” single in the Summer of 1990), The Stone Roses were officially back. So long had they been away following a protracted legal case to free themselves from their contract with the label Silvertone that the band had taken on an almost mythical persona – would they ever make another album? If they did, would it be any good? Were they actually still even a band? “Love Spreads” gave us the answer and then some. Their first release for Geffen Records (home to rock heavyweights Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith), this was a humdinger of a tune. A heavy, blues rock out, this was no jangly guitar piece like “Waterfall” or “She Bangs The Drums”. It was a huge sound that seemed to resonate even after the last note had played. That it would become the band’s highest charting single ever was never in doubt and it duly fulfilled its destiny when it crashed into the Top 3 at No 2.

However, I seem to recall that even that wasn’t seen as quite good enough. For a band that had generated such headlines and prose to be written about them and that were responsible for a debut album that had been lauded as almost perfect and untouchable, surely they should be No 1? That sense of nearly but not quite would haunt the release of the album as well. “Second Coming” was released on the Monday after this TOTP aired to much hype and razzmatazz. Just about every record retailer in the land opened early to deal with the expected rush with some even opting for a then rare midnight kick off. Even though we were a mainstream Our Price store, we were slap bang in the middle of Manchester city centre and so had to open early – I think we went for something like 7 as opposed to our usual 9. The album was on display everywhere in store and blasting out of the shop stereo. We only had one person come into the store before we would have opened anyway. She came to the counter oblivious of the Stone Roses vibe going on around her and asked for some gift vouchers! I had to rush upstairs and get her some as we hadn’t even reconciled them from the previous day’s takings yet. What a non-event! That seemed to set the tone for the album as a whole for me. Yes, it sold but not in the numbers that had been predicted (it made No 4 in the charts) and received mix reviews from the critics. Even with nearly 30 years of perspective and opportunities for revisiting, I’m not sure that it has lost that sense of disappointment. I quite liked it though and do own a copy. Me plus Shaun from Shaun Of The Dead made two people at least. I don’t think anything sums up the general reaction to “Second Coming” as succinctly as this scene from the film:

Now does Lily Savage go a bit too far in her intro for Erasure here? After confessing that they are her favourite band, as the music swells up and the cheering of the studio audience starts, does she shout “Andy, sit on me!”? Hmm. Sounds like it. Anyway, as I’ve said before, by 1994 I’d lost track of Erasure. Before then I could have had a good stab at naming all their singles (possibly in order) from their imperial phase but somehow I just fell off the Erasure wagon around this time. Consequently this third single from their album “I Say I Say I Say” – “ I Love Saturday” – must have passed me by completely as I don’t know it at all. Having finally listened to it, whilst it’s no banger along the lines of “Sometimes” or “A Little Respect”, it’s a well constructed, likeable pop song…but that’s it. No more no less. Maybe that’s the reason it didn’t strike a chord with me as it just didn’t stand out enough. That’s based on just one listen though so maybe it grows on you with repeated hearings?

I’m not sure what the deal is with the fruit machines set – something to do with Saturday nights in the pub? Still, it did make me smile which put me in mind of a staple of kids TV during my childhood Tiswas which, of course, stood for ‘This Is Saturday, Watch And Smile’. “I Love Saturday” peaked at No 20, the lowest chart position of any of their standard single releases since the first three singles from their debut album “Wonderland” failed to make the Top 40 between 1985 and 1986. That imperial phase really was coming to an end.

A future No 1 incoming now and one which would spend 7 weeks atop the charts. Not only that but it would stay on the Top 40 for a whopping 25 weeks, 17 of which were spent inside the Top 10. Its appearance on TOTP here already marked its fourth week inside the Top 40 and it had sat outside that exalted company for 3 weeks prior to that. Its run to the summit would take 13 weeks (16 if you count those 3 outside the Top 40) which was the slowest consecutive climb to No 1 in chart history at the time. Impressed? What about when I tell you the record in question was “Think Twice” by Celine Dion? Still impressed? Ah, musical snobbery strikes again. Or not if you are a fan of the artist or record I guess. Whatever your opinion of Celine or her song, its chart life was astonishing. Look at these positions:

30 – 28 – 22 – 20 – 9 – 8 – 5 – 6 – 4 – 2 – 2 – 2 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3 – 4 – 12 – 17 – 22 – 34

Maybe it’s because Celine herself recorded a version of “The Power Of Love” by Jennifer Rush that it’s put me in mind of that 1985 chart topper. Although, its ascent to the top was much quicker than that of “Think Twice” once inside the Top 40, it took 17 weeks to get to No 1 including an amazing 13 outside the Top 40.

OK, that’s an awful lot of chart positions and stats so I’ll leave it at that for the moment considering we’ll be seeing this one in the near future and for weeks on end…except to say that must have been the most boring live by satellite performance of all time, if indeed that’s what it was. Just looks like a standard promo video to me.

From one diva to another now as we see the first of two songs on the same show that continue to be played every Christmas nearly 30 years later. A diva at Christmas? It can only be Mariah Carey and it is, of course, with “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. Despite its ubiquity every December, the single didn’t make it to the top of the charts on its first release having to make do with the No 2 position instead although it did become a No 1 record in 2020. Not sure that chart had as much gravitas to it as its 1994 counterpart though. By doing so though, it broke the record for the amount of weeks inside the Top 40 before getting to the top of the charts with a tally of 104 (non-consecutive) some 26 years after it was first released. Have that Celine Dion!

In my head, the race for the 1994 Christmas No 1 was between East 17 and Oasis with Mariah Carey a bit of an afterthought. At the denouement though, she ended up splitting the pair with the street urchins of Walthamstow taking the crown with the Burnage boys having to settle with the bronze medal.

Now if you’re thinking that this doesn’t look like the video for “All I Want For Christmas Is You” that you’re used to seeing every year then you’d be right. Where’s the scenes of Mariah messing about on a snowy mountainside? Where’s the Christmas tree she decorates and the rather creepy Santa Claus figure (actually her then husband and CEO of Sony Music Tommy Mottola)? Well, the video shown here on TOTP was an alternate promo shot in black and white with Mariah getting to cosplay at being a Ronette. Seems to me it pretty much rips off the plot of the video for “Chain Reaction” by Diana Ross. Anyway, was this really the live by satellite performance that TOTP make it out to be? Again, it just looks like they’re showing a video to me. This is the second time this show they’ve tried this on after Celine Dion earlier. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” has sold 12 million copies in the US alone and earned $80 million in royalties.

Oh what’s this drivel?! The bloody Power Rangers?! FFS! The 90s were blighted by shit records generated by extraordinarily popular (for a while) children’s TV series, films or cultural phenomenons. The start of the decade saw a chart topper based on the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles courtesy of Partners In Kryme whilst 1992 saw the WWF Superstars forearm smash their way into the Top 5 with “Slam Jam”. The following year the Christmas horrors of Mr. Blobby were visited on us with his pile of crap song and now…this! The Mighty Morph’n Power Rangers was a US children’s TV show that premiered in 1993 and made its way onto UK screens via GMTV and became a runaway success and spawned the must have toys for Christmas that year. As I wasn’t the target market for Power Rangers, the whole thing kind of passed me by. However, I had to endure it years later as my son watched it during a brief phase. It’s the one of the most bonkers things I’ve ever seen. Really tacky looking with cheap production values (presumably due to a low budget), it was a hotchpotch of stock footage from a Japanese show supplemented by additional scenes shot in America. The ‘monsters’ are just ludicrous looking whilst the ‘actors’ playing the Power Rangers were absolutely dire. How did this nonsense take off?

The single – “Power Rangers” – was suitably atrocious. Essentially just the show’s theme tune, if you compare it to some of its Gerry Anderson counterparts from the 60s like Thunderbirds or Stingray…well, there is no comparison. Just horrible and presumably was just bought by children. I think the whole thing was suitably lampooned on an episode of Friends:

And so to the second of those Christmas tunes and this one would be the festive No 1. As with the debate over whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 also divides opinion as to whether it’s a true Christmas song or not. In 2017, a YouGov poll asked if respondents agreed that it was, indeed, a Christmas song. 29% agreed, 34% disagreed and 37% didn’t know. Hardly definitive then. For what it’s worth, I think it is. When the “Steam” album came out and we played it instore, “Stay Another Day” immediately stood out as a potential Christmas hit – it’s got bloody sleigh bells on it for Chrissakes! Obviously though, there is another side to the track. Written by Tony Mortimer about the suicide of his brother, it was based around the premise of what would you do if you had one more day with a loved one. However you view “Stay Another Day”, what can’t be disputed is that it was certainly a huge departure from their usual sound for the band. It was a risk worth taking though. It sold over a million copies in the UK and the repeat royalties on it must be enormous – it’s played to death every December. Somebody (Tony Mortimer?) has a nice little pension pot out of that 4 minute pop song. If you compare “Stay Another Day” to the first time their erstwhile rivals Take That changed tempo to a ballad in “A Million Love Songs”, I think East 17 are clear winners.

It wouldn’t get any better or bigger for Tony, Brian and…erm…the other two after this. Sure they carried on having hits until the end of the decade but none as huge as this and the original line up would not be intact come the new millennium with more comings and goings than The Sugababes. “Stay Another Day” though, having entered the canon of Christmas songs, has ensured that their name will not be forgotten even if they’re only remembered for that one song.

Baby D remain at No 1 with “Let Me Be Your Fantasy” as we enter December but surely nobody thought that they were realistic contenders to be the Christmas chart topper. Now that would have been a turn up for the books – an out and out dance tune as the festive No 1. The UK had experienced a fair few novelty records at the pinnacle of the charts come 25th December – Benny Hill, St Winifred’s School Choir, Renée And Renato, Mr. Blobby etc – but Baby D wasn’t a novelty act more an artist from a specific genre of music. In fact, the only dance records to be No 1 at Christmas that I can think of are “Rockabye” by Clean Bandit and, at a push, “Sound Of The Underground” by Girls Aloud. Given the domination of LadBaby in recent years, maybe it’ll be a long time before we see the like again.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Sophie B. HawkinsDon’t Don’t Tell Me NoErm..no. Sorry Sophie
2RoxetteRun To YouNope
3The Stone RosesLove SpreadsNot the single but I have the album
4ErasureI Love SaturdayNah
5Celine DionThink TwiceAs if
6Mariah CareyAll I Want For Christmas Is YouNo
7The Mighty Morph’n Power RangersPower RangersHa! No
8East 17Stay Another DayI did not
9Baby DLet Me Be Your FantasyAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mwfr/top-of-the-pops-01121994

TOTP 27 OCT 1994

No, no, no, no, NO! Not Simon Mayo again! I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t deal with his smugness and tone deaf belief against all perceivable reality that he is somehow funny and entertaining. I can’t talk about every cringeworthy line he utters in this show – it’ll break me. Just know that he was as unfunny as ever. Jarvis Cocker had it right at the end of last week’s show when the guest presenter wrapped up his stint by saying “Try and watch next week, Simon Mayo will be presenting though”. He might as well have said “Try and watch next week, Simon Mayo will be presenting though so, you know, you’ll have to put up with that gobshite”. I’ll say no more about him…in this post anyway.

I also don’t have much to say about the opening act who are Snap! and are on the show for the third time with their single “Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)”, hence why I’ve run out of any meaningful comment on them. What I have said before is that I didn’t mind the Turbo B-less version of the group and preferred this lighter sound that the new line up had brought with it. What I wasn’t sure about though was the staging of this TOTP performance. It looked like every expense had been spared when it came to the set. What is that backdrop meant to be depicting? Some sort of strange new world or planet? Was that an attempt at making a connection (however remote) with the song title? And then what the hell was that computer graphic of a moving target glitter ball all about? It all looked amateurish and crap frankly. Even Simon Mayo’s remark about it afterwards is justified but I’m not talking about him so I couldn’t possibly comment about his…erm…comment. The cumulative effect is that it reduced an act who had already scored two memorable UK No 1s that decade so far to looking like Eurodance also rans. If rhythm was a dancer, you had to be serious about it didn’t you?

You know that thing where an artist is so well known for just one song that it almost comes as a surprise that they ever released anything else? I think we might have another example of it in China Black. During the Summer of 1994, “Searching” had been such a big hit for this duo (7 weeks in the Top 20, 13 in the Top 40) that it was always going to be a struggle to follow it up. Follow it up they did though with a track called “Stars” that stuck to the template of its predecessor so closely that if it had been a race, you would have needed a photo finish to distinguish between the runners. Some more reggae influenced, radio friendly pop music? Certainly – we’ve got lots of that in stock. “Stars” though couldn’t replicate the success of “Searching” when it peaked at No 19. They did manage two further chart hits in 1995 but neither got near to breaching the Top 10.

*Other examples include The Boo Radleys, Aqua and Doctor And The Medics who all had further chart hits but which were overshadowed by “Wake Up Boo!”, “Barbie Girl” and “Spirit In The Sky” respectively.

I’ve said before here and in my 80s blog that I never really caught the boat going to Pink Floyd island. I mean, I can appreciate the majestic aural landscapes of “Dark Side Of The Moon” and the video for “Another Brick In The Wall” was a (scary) part of my childhood but they always seemed a bit over indulgent and that they were posh boys noodling to me. By 1994, my opinion hadn’t changed that much and certainly hadn’t been affected by the release of “The Division Bell” album. However, it did give them something that they were not renowned for – two consecutive Top 40 singles. After Runrig soundalike tune “Take It Back” had charted earlier in the year, “High Hopes” would meet its title by securing a chart peak of No 26.

Nothing to do with that song about ants and rubber tree plants popularised by Frank Sinatra, this was a mournful, heavy density rock ballad that spoke of the band’s days growing up in Cambridge when things all seemed much simpler. Now I can appreciate that sentiment much more now as a middle-aged man of 55 than I could as a 26 year old back in 1994 – hell, this blog is all about nostalgia – but it still sounds too doom laden to me. Built around a constant ringing church bell (the clanging chimes of doom anyone?), it’s very epic and cinematic (I can imagine it working well in a film) but I couldn’t listen to it over and over I don’t think. It would be the last new material released by the band for 20 years.

My resistance to berating Simon Mayo has lasted three songs because I can’t let this one go. After the Pink Floyd video finishes, he glibly announces “And that’s Pink Floyd who are currently on tour with The Scaffold as support but then you probably knew that”. What was he on about? He was referring to a near tragedy that happened on the first night of 14 dates played by the band at Earl’s Court. Early in the concert, a scaffolding stand (block 9) holding 1,200 fans collapsed throwing hundreds of people 20 feet to the ground. 96 were injured with 36 needing hospital treatment. And that was considered a suitable topic by Mayo for a throwaway line that he clearly thought showed how clever he was. A total and utter bellend.

Another of those artists now that could be added to that list of acts who are so well known for one hit that you forgot they released anything else. Rozalla burst onto the scene in 1991 with “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)” but could you name any of her other songs? I couldn’t and I’ve probably written about them in this blog! Anyway, this one was called “You Never Love The Same Way Twice”. The music press at the time saw this as a return to form for Rozalla after a couple of previous missteps but it sounds rather lacklustre and uneventful to me. She seemed to have restyled herself as Gabrielle at this point with her short hair stuck flat to her head. I guess she never had the same hairstyle twice.

Sting is back in the studio for a performance of his “When We Dance” single. A new track to promote his Best Of album, it would be his biggest ever solo hit peaking at No 9. He’s on the double bass this week bringing back memories of that video for “Every Breath You Take”:

As ever, there’s a story behind its appearance and also as ever, @TOTPFacts has the details:

Sting would return with the second new track called “This Cowboy Song” to support that Best Of album in the new year and it featured this week’s No 1 artist. He went on to release a further two studio albums by the end of the decade bringing the number he recorded in the 90s to four. Whatever you think about him, you can’t deny he’s prolific.

Seriously?! A third outing for the Niagara Falls performance of “Always” by Bon Jovi?! In the show’s defence, the single was experiencing a resurgence of sales and was going back up the charts. It had already peaked at No 2 once and dropped down a couple of places but had just moved from No 4 to No 3 this week on its way to a second peak of No 2 where it stayed for a further two weeks. That’s an awful lot of number twos! Ahem.

There’s actually a Bon Jovi tribute act called Bon Jovi Always but then there’s also, confusingly, one called Always Bon Jovi. Hmm. Then there’s Bon Giovi, The Bon Jovi Experience, Born Jovi and Non Jovi. I think my favourite though is Wrong Jovi which might appeal to my friend Robin, who, on hearing the news that my son had discovered the song “Livin’ On A Prayer” and liked it, said that this was like pissing from the top of a multi-story car park – wrong on so many levels.

After being less than impressed with the line up so far in tonight’s show, here’s somebody interesting at last. I didn’t pick up on Green Day immediately but I probably should have. A US punk three piece but who also knew about melody, I’d completely missed their major label debut album “Dookie” when it was released in the February of 1994. I think I first became aware of them in the August when I had to cover at the Our Price store in Rochdale where I used to work and an ex-colleague of mine called Emma said to me “Haven’t you heard the Green Day album? Don’t you know Basket Case?”. I hadn’t and I didn’t. Emma was into quite extreme stuff like the Riot grrrl movement and industrial artists like Meat Beat Manifesto so I assumed Green Day might be similar but I was completely wrong. And yet I ignored them for quite some time until “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” which was a song so brilliant that it was un-ignorable. Back in 1994 though, “Welcome To Paradise” was a No 20 hit and initially appeared on their independently released 1991 album “Kerplunk” but was re-recorded for “Dookie” and it races along convincingly and knocks everything else on the show into a cocked hat. For me though, their 2004 album “American Idiot” is their pinnacle; indeed so huge was it that it outgrew the album format and morphed into a musical. The band’s legacy includes 90 million record sales worldwide, 20 Grammy nominations (5 of which were won) and being voted as the best punk rock band of all time by Rolling Stone magazine.

I used to work with someone in York who was completely obsessed with lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong or, more accurately his looks. The only look I’m going to comment on though is the classic three person band line up of guitar, bass and drums that Green Day had which gives me a fond memory of The Jam. They’ve been acknowledged as having influenced the likes of Fall Out Boy, Sum 41 and Blink-182 though I think I would add Northern Irish punk rockers Ash to that list.

It’s time for the album chart feature now but as with many a track that is showcased in this slot, it would ultimately end up being released as a single and will be appear on a future TOTP down the line. This week’s incumbent is “Let It Rain” by East 17 from the album “Steam”. Despite not matching the chart topping status of their debut “Walthamstow”, “Steam” actually sold twice the amount of copies of its predecessor. I guess the power of a Christmas No 1 shouldn’t be underestimated.

We’re getting ahead of ourselves though (mind you so were East 17). For now, “Steam” had only been out for a couple of weeks but qualified for a spot on TOTP by being at No 4 in the album chart. However, instead of highlighting “Stay Another Day” (their label London Records must have known they would be releasing it for the Christmas market shortly), “Let It Rain” was chosen and it would eventually be released as a single as the follow up to its more famous chart topper. It’s not one of their best by any standard. The intro by Tony Mortimer is quite something though triggering memories of The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown’s “Fire” or maybe Spinal Tap’s “Stonehenge” even.

It’s Sting’s mate Pato Banton now and he’s the new No 1 after deposing Take That after just two weeks. However, he advises Mayo in a pre-song chat that he can’t perform “Baby Come Back” as Robin and Ali Campbell (or the ‘UB guys’ as Pato refers to them) aren’t available so it’s the promo video again this week. It’s split into colour and black and white sections with the latter reserved for Robin and Ali who are portrayed as pop stars performing on a music show in the 60s (hence the black and white tint). Are they meant to be someone akin to The Righteous Brothers because they come across more like Robson and Jerome to me.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Snap!Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)Nope
2China BlackStarsNah
3Pink FloydHigh HopesNo
4RozallaYou Never Love The Same Way TwiceI did not
5StingWhen We DanceNegative
6Bon JoviAlwaysRobin would be proud of me – no
7Green DayWelcome To ParadiseIt’s another no
8East 17Let It RainDidn’t happen
9Pato BantonBaby Come BackAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mffl/top-of-the-pops-27101994

TOTP 29 SEP 1994

I haven’t revisited what was going on with me personally back then in these posts for a while so (and I know this is of minuscule interest to anybody but me) let’s correct that. Two days after this TOTP aired we moved flat. Me and my wife had been in our tiny South Manchester flat for nearly four years and had been happy there. So why move? Well, our landlord let it be known that he had a bigger flat becoming available and we thought we could do with a bit more space and best of all, it was only two doors down! Yes, we were moving from Flat 4, No 47 to Flat 2, No 43 on the same street! This was great as it meant there was no need to incur removal van costs. However, it didn’t eliminate the need to put everything in boxes the same as any other move and that’s a job nobody looks forward to. We asked some friends from out of town to come to stay in the new place meaning that they could also help with carrying the boxes. My mate Robin’s taxi turned up just as the last box went in. Brilliant timing! We weren’t the only ones moving on around this time. On the same day this TOTP went out, Chris Evans presented The Big Breakfast for the very last time after two years. The times they were a-changin’…

…unless you were 2 Unlimited of course. Three years on from their debut hit, they were still clogging up the charts with their brand of repetitive Eurodance beats. The standard criticism of the Dutch duo was that all their material sounded the same and that you would feel like you’d heard it all before. Well, in the case of “No One” that was literally true. It had already been on TOTP back in the Summer on the show that was broadcast on 16th June. Back then it was featured within the album chart slot as their album “Real Things” had just been released and gone to No 1. So what did I say about it in my review of that show?

*checks TOTP Rewind archive*

Well, I referred to the frightening prospect of it being on the show again as I mentioned that it would be released as a single eventually and lo and behold, my prediction came true. I also said that, despite all my earlier talk of their sound never deviating from their original concept, this one did sound slightly different, not quite having the usual 2 Unlimited ‘bpm urgency’. Which it doesn’t. Was that an improvement then? Not really. I stand by my earlier review. Every word of it.

Huge tune incoming though not necessarily a big seller in the UK. After the lilting melodies of “Linger” and the perfectly crafted, jangly pop of “Dreams”, I was completely wrong footed by The Cranberries’ next release “Zombie”. A densely heavy slice of grunge rock that wasn’t a million miles away from “Creep” by Radiohead, it included an almost pained vocal from Dolores O’Riordan. ‘Pained’ is probably an apt word as the song was written as a visceral outpouring from Dolores in reaction to the tragic events of the IRA bombings in Warrington in 1993. The band’s record label Island got cold feet about releasing the track as a single fearing a song about The Troubles would be too controversial and that would affect airplay and its chances of commercial success. However, it had gone down well with audiences when played live in its early form as “In Your Head” and Dolores would not be deterred. She was right too. Although it would only make No 14 over here, it was huge around the rest of the world going to No 1 in seven countries. The album it came from – “No Need To Argue” – was huge too racking up 17 million sales worldwide. The Cranberries were officially a big deal.

A future chart topper now as the trend for reggae-fied versions of classic oldies continues apace. “Baby Come Back” was originally a No 1 hit in 1968 for the ethnically diverse group The Equals who included a young Eddy Grant in their ranks. A cover version of it 26 years later came courtesy of Pato Banton who I’d never heard of but who’d worked with The Beat in the early 80s and had guested on the 1985 UB40 album “Baggariddim”. Oh yes, there was a connection with UB40 just as there had been for Bitty McLean and his chart career. That connection became even more apparent when Ali and Robin Campbell performed on “Baby Come Back” alongside Banton. They even had a credit on the single’s cover.

By the way, Pato was nothing to do with another, much more objectionable Banton – the Jamaican Dancehall artist Buju – who held some vile homophobic views in the 90s that he aired in his song “Boom Bye Bye”. It turns out that the name ‘Banton’ is a Jamaican slang term for someone who is a respected storyteller.

Anyway returning to “Baby Come Back”, the combination of the Campbell brothers vocals on the chorus and Pato’s toasted verses proved irresistible to record buyers and the single would go to No 1 for 4 weeks ending the year as the UK’s fourth best selling single of the year. As we’ll be seeing it plenty more in future episodes I’ll leave it there for now.

After the real thing earlier, here come an act whom I saw recently online described as the ‘2 Unlimited of ragga’ which seemed pretty on the money. Reel 2 Real featuring The Mad Stuntman (they even had a figure 2 in their name like Ray and Anita!) were onto their third hit of a very thin source material in “Can You Feel It?”. This wasn’t just money for old rope but money for pieces of string too short to be useful. Basically a man (The Mad Stuntman presumably) toasting while a woman occasionally sings “Can you feel it baby?”. Just awful. Total crud. Somehow it managed to scramble up the charts to No 13. What was wrong with people back in 1994?!

Now here’s a curious thing. A performance on TOTP that on the face of it seems to be not instigated by the need to promote something. “You Really Got Me” was The Kinks’ first hit and first No 1 in 1964. So why were the band performing the song on TOTP in 1994? Well, the official line was to commemorate the song’s 30th anniversary and that was it. How often though had this sort of event happened though? Never that I can recall. The Kinks (well, Ray and Dave Davies essentially) just appear slap bang in the middle of the show – there isn’t even any caption allocated to them about career sales or anything. Ray did do the message to camera bit at the top of the show but he just told us how TOTP was going to rock us to the bone. Checking their discography, they’d had a Greatest Hits album out in 1993 (“The Definitive Collection”) which was rereleased in 1996 with a TV ad campaign but this TOTP appearance falls between these two releases so it can’t be that can it?

*checks discography again*

Oh hang on. They released a live album four days after this TOTP aired and it was called “To The Bone”. That’s what Ray was referring to in his rather cryptic message at the start of the show! And…published two weeks before this appearance was Ray’s autobiography called XRay which explains his off script lines during the performance about having “seen the X-Ray”. And….hadn’t the BBC just launched TOTP2 featuring clips from the archive so maybe this performance was to (indirectly) push that show? All makes a bit more sense now.

The performance is half in black and white presumably to try and create a feeling of 1964 before it reverts to colour during Dave’s guitar solo. Not sure it works really to be honest. However, I do like the way that Ray treats it as a proper live gig by encouraging some audience participation with his goading question “Are you listening to me?”.

Right, what’s this? Well, it’s Eurodance behemoth Snap! but you’d be forgiven for not recognising them. Firstly, they’ve got a new singer called Summer (real name Paula Brown) but then they had previous in that department having already been through vocalists Penny Ford, Thea Austin and Niki Haris by this point. Rapper Turbo B was long gone by this stage. Secondly, and perhaps more to the point, their new single “Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)” didn’t sound like them. It’s a much poppier almost lilting sound than something like “The Power” or “Rhythm Is A Dancer” which made their names on the club dancefloors before crossing over massively into the mainstream charts. This felt like they had purposely made a record that could just go straight to daytime radio.

The space age sci-fi video that we see here apparently took three months to make. Some of the spacecraft in it look a bit Blake’s 7 to me but then that’s probably unfair as I’m looking at it through 2023 eyes. Back in 1994, this probably looked, if not mind blowing, then very impressive. “Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)” would peak at No 6 but they would only have one more UK Top 40 hit subsequently.

East 17 were never as big as they were in 1994. A double platinum album and four hit singles including the Christmas No 1? Nice work if you can get it! “Steam”, despite being the title track of said album, was the smallest of those hits but the fact that it peaked at No 7 shows how big the others were. After the lighter sound of previous single “Around The World”, this was a return to the sound that made their name – pop/rap with a bit of streetwise savvy heavy in the mix. Watching this performance back though, it all seems faintly ludicrous. They’ve all had skinhead haircuts (presumably to big up those street credentials) but the outfits they’ve got on kind of work against that. What exactly are they wearing? A leather hoody with leather baggy trousers and boots? Sorry lads, you just look silly. At least the staging of the performance was easy. A song called “Steam”? Just have a few jets of the stuff going off behind them occasionally. My old history teacher Mr Cooper who used to overly emphasise the word ‘steam’ when talking about steam power would have approved. STEAM power lads!

Now to a man who is surely only behind Keith Richards in the ‘How is he not dead yet?’ stakes. I remember the Shane MacGowan And The Popes era of the ex-Pogues frontman’s career but I couldn’t tell you about any of their material. And I certainly don’t recall the Johnny Depp connection! Listening to “This Woman’s Got Me Drinking” though, it’s as if Shane was attempting his version of Motörhead’s “Ace Of Spades”. It’s all snarled vocals aside a strident, propelling one chord riff but doesn’t quite pull it off for me. Would it have been a coup to get Johnny Depp in the studio at this time? Well, he’d been in films like CryBaby, Edward Scissorhands and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape by this point in his career so he was certainly a name but surely wasn’t as notorious and divisive a figure as he is today. I must admit to not really thinking of him as a musician but he’s contributed to works by the likes of Oasis, Iggy Pop, Aerosmith and Jeff Beck as well as Shane MacGowan.

It’s another week at the top for Whigfield, Now would you categorise “Saturday Night” as a novelty record? I think I could almost be persuaded. It’s the dance that went with it that’s tipping me over. Like “Macarena” by Los Del Río or “Gangnam Style” by PSY. Or maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, Whigfield did have more hits than just this one hit – five in all including a further couple of Top 10s so they were more of a pop act than just a song. Their final hit was an almost unforgivable cover of Wham!’s “Last Christmas” though so I think any credit they may have had is completely wiped out.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
12 UnlimitedNo OneNever
2The CranberriesZombieNo
3Pat Banton with Ali and Robin CampbellBaby Come BackNegative
4Reel 2 Real featuring The Mad StuntmanCan You Feel It?As if
5The KinksYou Really Got MeNot released as a single in 1994 but I must have it on something
6Snap!Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)Nah
7East 17 SteamNo but I had t a promo copy of the album from work. Sadly it had talky bits in between the tracks from Mark Goodier
8Shane MacGowan And The PopesThis Woman’s Got Me DrinkingI did not
9WhigfieldSaturday NightAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001m15z/top-of-the-pops-29091994

TOTP 19 MAY 1994

Right, after banging on about football in what’s supposed to be a retro music blog last time out, I promise there’s nothing about the beautiful game in this post. It’s straight to the music and the direct to camera message at the top of the show this week comes from a snake. No really. An actual snake but it’s no ordinary snake. Not only does it talk but it’s owner is ‘The Godfather of Shock Rock’ himself Alice Cooper who is on the show as both performer and host tonight. Blimey! Iggy Pop last week and Alice Cooper the next. There’s two ways of looking at this. Either new producer Ric Blaxill was trying to restore some credibility to TOTP by demonstrating that the show was still a pull for some of the most iconic names in music or he was totally misreading the room and not giving the kids what they wanted at all. Alice Cooper was 46 at the time this show aired and his biggest hit “School’s Out” had been No 1 22 years prior. Or was their a third view? Was he trying to reel back in those disaffected viewers who thought that they had outgrown the show? All I know is that was two ‘Godfathers’ on the show in consecutive weeks after ‘The Godfather of Punk’ Iggy Pop seven days before. It surely wasn’t just coincidence was it?

To completely blow my theorising above out of the water, we start with an act that surely couldn’t have existed and been successful at any other time other than the early to mid 90s. 2 Unlimited must have been one of the most prolific artists to appear on the show in this period. “The Real Thing” was their 10th consecutive UK chart hit of which only two didn’t make the Top 10. Unlike most of their previous offerings, Ray actually gets to do some prolonged rapping in this one rather than having to settle for shouting out “Techno, techno techno techno” every now and then.

The track reminds me of another song that I can’t quite put my finger on…

No, @TOTPFacts, not that (although clearly, that as well). Got it! It’s this…

Just me then. Oh well. By my reckoning there’s at least a couple more occasions when Ray and Anita will be on TOTP so we’re not quite done yet but the end is coming.

While the end of 2 Unlimited is nigh, we’re just at the start of something very lengthy and for some interminable and intolerable. Yes, Wet Wet Wet are here for the first time with (gulp) “Love Is All Around”. Yes, just three years since Bryan Adams spent 16 weeks at the top of the charts, the UK was about to embark on another splurge of record buying that would create another long term resident at No 1, Chart Street. How could we have let this happen again so quickly?! Well, like “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”, Wet Wet Wet’s single was also from a popular, mainstream film but for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves read Four Weddings and a Funeral. Richard Curtis’s rom-com was a runaway success topping the box office’s chart for 9 weeks and making it the second highest grossing film ever in the UK at the time. Although the song only features over the end credits (a version is sung by the hippy looking couple at the first wedding in the main body of the film), such exposure and promotion was always going to make it a big hit. Did any of us envision 15 weeks at No 1 though? I’ll need to keep something back for that lengthy a run on the show so for the moment, here’s some stats:

  • It was the best selling single in the UK for 1994 (obviously)
  • It went double platinum in the UK
  • It was No 1 in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Holland, New Zealand, Norway and Sweden
  • It has the joint third longest reign at the top of the UK chart only behind Bryan Adams and Frankie Laine
  • It spent 26 weeks in the UK Top 40 of which 20 were in the Top 10

In short, it was a monster with teeth. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Right, who’s this? Bad Boys Inc? They were still a thing in mid 1994? If that seems unbelievable, guess how many hits these stinkers had? Two? Three at a push? Uh-uh. Six. SIX! How? Why? What the hell was going on? “More To This World” was the fourth and biggest of them giving the group their only Top 10 hit. Filling the gap as an alternative to Take That for the teen market until Boyzone turned up a few months later, this lot were the template of how to be a second rate boy band. A frontman with a passable voice at best backed by some grinning no marks whose only contribution to the project was cheekbones, styled hair and dancing. Dreadful stuff from every body involved. We shall detain ourselves no longer with this shallow nonsense.

Proving just how bonkers the charts of 1994 were, we move from a lower league boy and to ambient world music in the blink of an eye. Well, not quite a blink but it’s a pretty short segue featuring occasional host Bruno Brookes and tonight’s superstar Alice Cooper. Oh, and that snake as well. It actually works quite well. Brookes keeps a straight face and Alice delivers his line effectively. And not a gold disc presentation on sight. Please take note Simon Mayo.

Back to that ambient world music though. Its two main protagonists, in the charts at least, were Enigma and Deep Forest and by happy chance they are next to each other in the Top 40 this week. The former is at No 21 with “The Eyes Of Truth” whilst the latter is in the No 20 position with their eponymous track “Deep Forest”. It doesn’t quite have the charm of its predecessor “Sweet Lullaby” but was still an exponent of the growth of World Music that had come to mainstream attention via Paul Simon’s “Graceland”, Peter Gabriel’s Real World label and experiments in the genre via Brian Eno and David Byrne. Deep Forest (and Enigma) seemed to me to create their own strand of it though by adding electronica sounds to the most unlikely of samples – Gregorian chants in the case of Enigma and field recordings of the indigenous peoples of Polynesia by Michel Sanchez and Eric Mouquet of Deep Forest. Nearly 30 years on, maybe the depth of the impression their material made upon the mainstream public has diminished but it really felt quite out there at the time. And mainstream it certainly was. Deep Forest’s debut album sold nearly four million copies worldwide and was nominated for a Grammy for Best Global Music in 1994 but lost out to Ry Cooder. It might not have been to everyone’s taste but when you consider that the UK No 1 in this particular chart was by a football team and was based on a horrible Status Quo track, maybe everyone’s taste wasn’t always the best barometer.

It’s the return of Seal next with his first new material since his massive selling debut album stormed the charts in 1991. His second album (also just called “Seal” or sometimes referred to as “Seal II”) is the album that “Kiss From A Rose” is from right?

*checks Seal’s discography

Thought so. That track was huge after featuring in the Batman Forever film but it wasn’t the album’s lead single. That honour went to “Prayer For The Dying” which has become a bit of a lost Seal track. Ask most people to name one of his songs and I’m betting the titles offered up would be either the aforementioned “Kiss From A Rose” or “Crazy” or “Killer”. “Prayer For The Dying” though? Not so much. I couldn’t have dragged it out of my memory banks unaided. It’s actually a very smooth and accomplished track though and did make No 14 in the charts but it lacks the edginess of something like “Killer” or “Crazy”. Trevor Horn was still at the mixing desk so of course it was well produced but it sounds like it’s been crafted to appeal to multiple US genre radio stations and spreads itself bit too thin. I mean, compared to 2 Unlimited or Bad Boys Inc, it’s a towering colossus of musical quality but somehow it’s not one of his best or indeed best remembered tunes.

The album sold well though, topping the chart as its predecessor had done and it went four times platinum in the US thanks to “Kiss From A Rose” being a No 1 record over there. I recall the initial scale out of it for the Our Price store I was working in not being that big (a poor decision by the buying dept it would seem) and the Area Manager telling us to hunt stem the advanced promo copy we had to add to stock. Funny the things you remember.

An occasional feature now with something from the album chart. Presumably these sections weren’t weekly because of the changing nature of artist availability? If the show could be populated by artists promoting a single did they take priority? The album chart slot started with Stanley Appel’s ‘year zero’ revamp but it seems subsequent show producer Ric Blaxill hasn’t ditched it yet. Maybe he does down the line – I can’t remember off the top off my head.

Anyway, the occupant of the slot this week is Julia Fordham who seems a rather obscure choice given that her album “Falling Forward” never hit any higher than No 21. In fact, as much as I quite like Julia Fordham, she’s never pulled many trees up chart wise. Two hit singles (Nos 19 and 27) and her best placing in the album chart was No 13 for sophomore collection “Porcelain”. She really should have had more hits given her talent. She remains a live draw and has toured with Beverley Craven and Judie Tzuke as part of the “Woman To Woman” project. This track, “I Can’t Help Myself”, was released as a single in the July making No 62.

Bruno Brookes is back to present the next act but he looks like he’s been smeared with shit since he’s been gone. The explanation for his appearance is that he’s been in an off screen fight with Alice Cooper’s snake. OK, the joke is wearing thin now and I think they’ve overcooked it. There’s no snakes anywhere near the next act who are East 17 though they did seem to shed band members as regularly as a snake sheds it skin after the hits dried up. Look at this timeline:

  • 1997 Brian Harvey sacked (drugs comments)
  • 1997 Tony Mortimer leaves (creative differences)
  • 1998 Brian Harvey reinstated and group renamed as E17
  • 1999 Band splits
  • 2006 Original line up reforms for reunion gig
  • 2006 Tony Mortimer leaves (after altercation with Brian Harvey)
  • 2010 Tony Mortimer returns for a second time
  • 2010 Brian Harvey leaves for second time (commitment to band questioned)
  • 2011 Blair Dreelan joins band
  • 2011 Blair Dreelan leaves band (contractual obligation)
  • 2013 Tony Mortimer leaves band for third time
  • 2014 Robbie Craig joins band
  • 2018 Original member John Hendy leaves (personal reasons)
  • 2018 Terry John joins band
  • 2019 Terry John leaves band
  • 2019 Jake Livermore joins band

Blimey! There’s so much coming and going in that lot that they should have been called E20 (the fictional postcode for EastEnders location Walford). “All Around The World” peaked at No 3.

It’s finally time for Alice Cooper to be onstage as a performer rather than to the side of it as a presenter. He’s here, of course, to promote his latest single which is “Lost In America” from his concept album “The Last Temptation” album. I’m not much of an Alice aficionado I have to say. I know his real name is Vince Furnier without looking it up and that he’s a golf fanatic. Musically, I’m familiar with “School’s Out” and “Elected” from his 70s era and “Poison” and “Hey Stoopid” from his late 80s early 90s revival but not a lot else and that includes this track.

Ah crap! I promised there’d be nothing about football in this post after last week’s was hijacked by my talking about the 1994 FA Cup final but the No 1 is “Come On You Reds” by The Manchester United Football Squad so what can I do? Five days on from their demolition of my beloved Chelsea in said final, they have moved to being the best selling single of the week in the UK. It would stay there for two weeks. This achievement was quite remarkable given the fact that it’s a football record. Sure, this niche genre has had big hits before – Liverpool FC got to No3 with “Anfield Rap” in 1988 and the England World Cup squad (in conjunction with New Order) also got to No 1 in 1990. Hell, my beloved Chelsea got to No 5 in 1972 with “Blue Is The Colour” – but No 1 for two weeks?! With that song?! As cup finalists, Chelsea also released their own single – “No One Can Stop Us Now” (oh the irony!) – which made No 23. I believe it was quite unusual for both teams to have cup final songs in the Top 40 simultaneously. Obviously it was dreadful as well but I bought it as a souvenir of the day thinking we might never get to the final again (how wrong I was).

The play out song is “Absolutely Fabulous” by Pet Shop Boys. Or is it? I think officially it’s credited to just Absolutely Fabulous and is produced by Pet Shop Boys but we all know it’s them really. This was the 1994 Comic Relief single and as much as I didn’t like the track, it was an upgrade on the likes of “The Stonk” by Hale & Pace and “Stick It Out” by Right Said Fred. There is, of course, a link to Alice Cooper here with the 1992 Comic Relief single being a cover of their (Alice Cooper was the band’s name at this point) 1972 hit, the aforementioned “Elected” by Mr Bean and Smear Campaign. “Absolutely Fabulous” made No 6 and was the second time that Jennifer Saunders had featured on a Comic Relief single after 1989’s “Help” as part of Lananeeneenoonoo alongside Bananarama.

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I but it?
12 UnlimitedThe Real ThingNo
2Wet Wet WetLove Is All AroundI did not
3Bad Boys IncMore To This WorldAs if
4Deep ForestDeep ForestNah
5SealPrayer For The DyingNope
6Julia FordhamI Can’t Help MyselfIt’s a no
7East 17All Around The WorldAnother No
8Alice CooperLost In AmericaSorry Alice – no
9The Manchester United Football Squad Come On You RedsAre you kidding?!
10Pet Shop BoysAbsolutely FabulousAnd a final no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

TOTP 12 MAY 1994

There was a lot going on in mid May 1994. Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as South Africa’s first black president. Labour leader John Smith died of a heart attack. The British romantic comedy Four Weddings and a Funeral opened in UK cinemas. However, the one event that was dominating my thoughts occurred two days after this TOTP aired. The 1994 FA Cup final was not the best of games and it will probably only be remembered for Man Utd completing their first league and cup double and becoming only the fourth team in the 20th century to do so. For me though, it will always be a painful memory.

Growing up as a Chelsea fan in the late 70s and early 80s was horrible. We were mainly useless and spent five consecutive seasons in the old Second Division and we were hopeless in the cups. The closest we got to cup glory were wins in the Full Members Cup in 1986 and the Zenith Data Systems in 1990. Most people reading this will never have heard of them. Suddenly though, in 1994, we were in the FA Cup final. The actual FA Cup final! Our first time since 1970! I couldn’t have been more excited. I was working in the Our Price in Market Street, Manchester at the time so obviously there were a couple of United fans in amongst my colleagues. I’m pretty sure we all managed to get the Saturday off to watch the game though. I got a couple of friends round to watch the game at our little flat and, with beers at the ready, settled in for the kick off. I should have known that the day was set for disaster when the heavens opened and the rain came down. Where was the glorious sunshine that had always made an appearance during those cup final days of my youth?

Despite the portents of doom provided by the weather, we actually started well and were the better team in the first half. Our talismanic midfielder Gavin Peacock hit the bar. 0-0 at half time. We more than had a chance. The second half remains one of the worst of my life. Three goals conceded in nine minutes (one an awful penalty decision by public schoolteacher David Elleray) destroyed Chelsea and indeed me. We couldn’t even get a consolation goal despite numerous chances. At 4-0 down, I was willing Elleray to blow the full time whistle to put me out of my misery.

In an extraordinary act of self inflicted pain, I was in Manchester city centre the next day seeing off my friends at Piccadilly train station just as the United team were arriving back from London with a huge crowd assembled to welcome their heroes home. I should have run a mile in the opposite direction but somehow I loitered and was spotted by a bunch of Ryan Giggs obsessed young girls who decided I didn’t look like I was enjoying myself enough and asked who I supported. Loyalty to my club took over and I replied “Chelsea” at which point they hurled merciless abuse at me. My disastrous weekend was complete. To add insult to injury, that hateful United record “Come On You Reds” was ubiquitous and went to No 1 the following week and with me working in a record shop, my misery continued for quite some time.

Anyway, that’s enough football talk. This is a music blog isn’t it? Here comes the music then but just before that, I need to acknowledge the host who this week is Jack Dee. This use of celebrity hosts was known as the ‘golden mic’ feature where presenting duties were performed by pop stars, comedians and…well…Chris Eubank. We’d already had Robbie and Mark from Take That and Meatloaf step into the breach and now it was the turn of Dee, making him the first non-music related host. Jack had been a name for a couple of years by this point with his own show having first aired in 1992. That, allied to his starring in the ‘No nonsense’ John Smith’s beer adverts, had helped cement his dour personality and sardonic humour in the minds of the public. As such, the TOTP audience had a decent idea of what to expect from Dee who could almost have been a natural successor to John Peel.

So, to the music, if you can call it that as tonight’s opening act are American R&B chancers EYC. How this lot ever amounted to anything more than one hit single is beyond me. What’s this one called? “Number One”? Ha! Fat chance! Or should I say flat chance as their vocals here are like the proverbial pancake. They also sound completely breathless (in their defence, I suppose they are jumping around like loons for the entirety of the performance). The track is basically a backbeat with some suggestive lyrics over the top of it. Just awful. Next!

We’ll come to the next act in just a sec but for the moment, I want to talk about Jack Dee again and give him some deserved credit for him calling out the inane displays of the Radio 1 DJs who have hosted the show (yes, I mean you Simon Mayo).

“Yes, I am presenting Top of the Pops because I’m a comedian and if you think that’s a bad idea, then what about all the DJs who keep trying to tell jokes” Dee deadpans. You nailed it Jack.

Back to the music and it’s that Joe Roberts bloke again. Just who was this guy and why was he on TOTP so much? Well, his Wikipedia entry, like the size of his hits, is pretty small. As the TOTP caption says, he’s from Manchester and he had three Top 40 hits, one of which was this song “Back In My Life”. This was a rerelease – it made No 59 first time around – and despite this exposure on the show, couldn’t get any higher than its peak this week of No 39. Not surprising really as it’s the musical equivalent of narcolepsy. Totally soporific. Joe himself is like a combination of Curtis Stigers and Vic Reeves’s club singer. Dear oh dear. Next!

Now, here’s a band about to enjoy arguably the biggest year of their career. In 1994, East 17 would release a double platinum album and three hit singles the last of which would become the Christmas No 1 and become a nice little pension pot for its songwriter Tony Mortimer. The first of those singles though was “All Around The World”, the lead single from second album “Steam” and absolutely nothing to do with the Oasis song of the same name. For me, East 17 had hit the ground running with their debut single, the frenetic “House Of Love” but then stumbled with the lacklustre follow up “Gold” before regaining their balance with the super slick “Deep”. However, the subsequent two singles “Slow It Down” and the misguided cover of Pet Shop Boys’ “West End Girls” were more potholes in the road before they really got into their stride with the sublime “It’s Alright”.

This new single harked backed to the sound of “Deep” though it wasn’t as good and felt like it had been written specifically to be a Top 5 hit. Nothing wrong with that I guess and the plan worked when it got to No 3 but there was something a little bit cynical about it, as if their record label had really taken control of these pop urchins and wanted to push them up a bit. The video for the track also gives the impression that the boys have had their urban wrinkles ironed out. It’s all a bit too…sophisticated? Is that the right word?

Parent album “Steam” was released in the October and the Our Price chain had a preview CD of it to be played instore but it had Radio 1 DJ Mark Goodier talking in between the tracks. Bah! Despite this, I took the freebie promo home when the actual album came out for my wife who’d bought the first album. We had it for ages without ever playing it I think but I’m guessing it got lost/disposed of following a couple of flat and house moves. In short, it didn’t follow us ‘all around the world’. It’s OK, my coat is already in my hand.

Meanwhile, back in the studio, we find Gloworm with the second (and biggest) of their two chart hits “Carry Me Home”. It had been nearly two years since this lot combined house and gospel music to create a dancefloor banger in “I Lift My Cup (To The Spirit Divine)” but now they were back with a tune that sounded…exactly the same. Well, it does to my ears but then they’re not bpm refined so I probably don’t know what I’m talking about.

As it’s got a gospel bent to it, obviously the staging for the performance has singer Sedric Johnson in a pulpit and the backing singers all have those full length community choir smocks on. I suppose a Kenny Everett Brother Lee Love big hands get up would have been a bit too over the top? “Carry Me Home” peaked at No 9.

Bollers is back! Yes, Michael Bolton is on the show again for no discernible reason. Well, yes obviously he’s on to plug his latest single, his cover of the Bill Withers tune “Lean On Me” but is his appearance justified? Well, he is a new entry at No 15 having been an exclusive performance two weeks earlier so what do you think? Is that reason enough? You’re right of course. There’s never any justification nor need for Michael Bolton on our TV screens and I say that as someone who saw him in concert by mistake! No, I’m not going into that particular story again! It’s in the archives if you must read about it.

I have a good friend who I met when I first worked for Our Price back in 1990. Steve’s from Bolton and everyone in the shop referred to him as Steve Bolton or just Bolton on account of his accent. When I first started working with him I assumed his surname was actually Bolton as I never heard anyone refer to his actual surname which is Wilson. Well, you know. If there could be a Michael Bolton then why not a Steve Bolton? One day, someone rang the shop asking for Steve Wilson. I answered the phone and confidently replied that there was nobody of that name that worked there but that there was a Steve Bolton. After much talking at cross purposes, confusion and to the hilarity of my colleagues, Steve was eventually put on the phone. Actually, Michael Bolton isn’t even Michael Bolton’s real name which is Michael Bolotin. Probably not enough difference between that and his stage name to cause Steve Wilson levels of perplexity though.

Two people now who also go by monikers that aren’t actually their real names. We all know that Elton John was originally named Reg Dwight but I’m not sure I knew that Marcella Detroit is actually Marcella Levy and that she’s from Detroit. They’ve come together to cover the classic Motown duet originally performed by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell “Ain’t Nothing Like The Real Thing”. Their take on it was obviously on Elton’s “Duets” album as were his last two single releases with Kiki Dee and RuPaul. It also ended up on Marcella’s “Jewel” album and I have to say I don’t recall it at all. Hardly surprising since it only spent three weeks inside the Top 40 and didn’t get any higher than No 24. It doesn’t seem to add much to the original I have to say.

Elton and Marcella appear to be having an earring-off in the TOTP studio with the former sporting a single cross-shaped one up against the latter’s Bet Lynch style massive ring. I make Marcella the winner in this particular battle. She’s also got a much superior voice to Elton (and this was before he turned into Foghorn Leghorn).

Marcella would return to the Top 40 one more time as a solo artist before going on to appear in ITV’s Pop Star To Opera Star and reforming Shakespear’s Sister in 2019 with Siobhan Fahey. Elton, meanwhile, would score two further hits in 1994 with “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and “Circle Of Life” both from The Lion King soundtrack.

When I started reviewing these TOTP repeats, I began with the year 1983 and back then many a show was not rebroadcast due to problematic presenters in the wake of Operation Yewtree. Others were pulled due to the late Radio 1 DJ Mike Smith not signing the licence extension to allow the BBC to air any shows that he presented. At the time, many in the TOTP fanbase questioned why the BBC didn’t just edit the presenters out rather than just not broadcast the show at all. Well, they’ve done some retrospective editing for this one but it’s nothing to do with the host, the marvellous Jack Dee. In the light of R Kelly’s conviction for racketeering, child pornography and enticing a minor, his performance of “Your Body’s Callin’” has been removed.

This weeks ‘exclusive’ performance comes from a cultural icon whose career just goes to show that not everything can be measured in sales and commercial success. Iggy Pop is surely one of the most recognisable and memorable rock stars of all time and yet, despite having recorded some classic songs during his career of over 50 (!) years, has hardly any chart hits to his name. His only appearance in the UK Top 40 by the time of this TOTP appearance had been seven years prior when his version of “Real Wild Child (Wild One)” had made No 10. I know – it seems unbelievable. What about all those other iconic songs like “Lust For Life” and “The Passenger”? Surely they were hits? Well, yes they were but not when they were originally released. The former was a hit in 1996 after featuring prominently in Trainspotting whilst the latter made the Top 40 after being used in a Toyota car advert in 1998. “China Girl”? Nope, although obviously co-writer David Bowie had a huge hit with it in 1983. His work with The Stooges? Afraid not. Despite all of the above, Iggy’s stature as the ‘Godfather of Punk’ remained undimmed and TOTP producer Ric Blaxill wasn’t going to let the chance of an in person appearance pass him by.

“Beside You” was taken from Iggy’s “American Caesar” album which came with the parental warning sticker ‘This is an Iggy Pop record’. It’s a nice enough slice of melodic rock but according to reviews, the track isn’t really representative of the rest of the album which I have to own up to having never heard. It was co-written by ex-Sex Pistol Steve Jones in 1985 for Iggy’s “Blah-Blah-Blah” album but never made the cut. When record label Virgin heard “American Caesar”, they gave Iggy the classic “we can’t hear a single” line and so “Beside You” was retrieved from the demo archive. Iggy is joined onstage here by multi-instrumentalist Lisa Germano who’s worked with everyone from John Mellencamp to David Bowie to Neil Finn. So, did this TOTP exposure propel Iggy to a rare UK hit? No, of course not. It peaked at No 47.

Oh, one final thing. When I first started working at the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester, the walls in the gents loo were covered in graffiti where employees past and present had come up with toilet humour based around music artists. There was Deacon Poo, Kenny Log-gins, Ruthless Crap Assassins but my favourite by far was Iggy Plop.

There’s a new No 1 and it’s from Stiltskin courtesy of that Levi’s ad. And that means…it’s time for my Stiltskin story. Sometime in 1994, we had some some friends to stay at our flat in Manchester. It may have been around October time as we moved flat from No 47 to No 43 on our road around that time and we may have roped in our friends to help with the move (you still have to put everything in boxes and move them you know!).

Anyway, my wife had a works do to go to on that weekend so I was left to entertain our friends with a night out in Manchester. We were all in our mid 20s at this point so we could just about get away with going to a nightclub – so we did. Me, Robin, Susan and the aforementioned Steve ended up at an indie night in Fifth Avenue nightclub. We’d had enough drink to embolden us to strut our stuff on the dancefloor to some banging indie tunes for the whole night. As we got to the wee small hours and the club was winding down, me and Robin were still at it. The place was full of dry ice and obviously dark so we weren’t overly aware of our surroundings. As it happened, Stiltskin’s “Inside” was played as the last song of the night and as the lights came up and the dry ice cleared, Robin and I were faced with the horrifying truth that we were the only people left on the dancefloor…and we were dancing to Stiltskin – a made up band who’s were only briefly famous because of a jeans advert and whose singer would end up in Genesis for a while. We try not to talk about it but we both know it happened.

The play out tune is another dance anthem by someone called Maxx. I have zero memory of “Get-A-Way” despite it getting to No 4 in the charts. If only my memory was as discerning when it came to forgetting things like your team getting stuffed 4-0 in the FA Cup final or dancing to Stiltskin.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1EYCNumber OneAs if
2Joe RobertsBack In My LifeNo
3East 17All Around The WorldNo but I had that promo CD of the album
4GlowormCarry Me HomeNah
5Michael BoltonLean On MeNever happening
6Elton John / Marcella DetroitAin’t Nothing Like The Real ThingI did not
7Iggy PopBeside YouNope
8StiltskinInsideDanced to it, never bought it
9MaxxGet-A-WayAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001k2r1/top-of-the-pops-12051994

TOTP 06 JAN 1994

1993 has finally done one and we are into a new year at last! After that previous 12 months, things can only get better (ahem). Or not. By my reckoning, just about now back then, I’d have been having a rather heated discussion with my Area Manager at Our Price about me being moved yet again for the third time in four months. I wasn’t best pleased. I’d not enjoyed the transfer to a bigger store at Stockport and was relieved to end up being shifted to the much smaller unit in Altrincham for Christmas. I’d liked it so much there that my wife and I had even started looking at flats there for a potential move from our base of the previous three years in South Manchester. Sadly, we we’re getting way ahead of ourselves. As soon as New Year was over, I was informed that I was to be transferred over to the Market Street store in Manchester where I’d started as a Christmas temp just over three years before. I had reservations about going back as there were still some people working there from my previous incarnation and I suppose I wondered how I would be received returning in a management position. That and the fact that I felt like I’d had my fair share of moves recently and this was just taking the piss. Despite my protestations I had to go, not least because it was in my contract that I could be made to so that was that. What was that about things could only get better…?

So after at least two fairly lame attempts by myself to tee this up in my intro, here’s the first act on TOTP of 1994…with a song from 1993! Yes, it probably gets forgotten due to how big a hit “Things Can Only Get Better” by D:Ream was this time around but it had already been a middling sized hit exactly twelve months before when it peaked at No 24. So why the re-release? Well, D:Ream had bagged themselves quite the support slot for a tour by the biggest boy band in the country meaning their exposure to the record buying public was massively enhanced. A Take That endorsement was certainly a ringing one when it came to the cash tills. The 1994 re-release would go on to sell 600,000 copies.

It wasn’t just a re-release though as it was also a remix. The original release didn’t include the gospel style a cappella intro that was reinstated for the 1994 version which had much more of a pop feel to it as opposed to the more club orientated original. Suddenly there was a buzz about the song again. Perhaps the timing of the release date was a factor with it being New Year and that renewed hope that people have that this will be a better year than the one before, new year resolutions and all that. Whatever it was, the timing, the sound, the record company marketing, it became one of those records that we were all told would be a huge hit and so it duly was. It went straight in at No 10, then No 2 and then topped the charts for four weeks. It spent nine weeks inside the Top 10 and fourteen in the Top 40 altogether. It was a monster.

Whatever its legacy – and the revisionists seem to have decided it was cheesy probably not helped by its 1997 General Election connections – you can’t deny its positivity. Peter Cunnah gives a decent vocal and does a good job of selling it (despite his horrible checked suits) though I never liked its M People style, sax parping middle eight which always seemed a bit incongruous. We’ll be seeing and hearing plenty more of this tune in future TOTP repeats so I’ll leave it there for now.

Dinah Carroll is next starting the year as she finished the last – with a huge hit record. “The Perfect Year” is up to No 5, possibly benefiting, like D:Ream before it, from New Year good vibes given its title and lyrics. As the single is at its peak this week, I’m guessing this could be the last we’ll see of Dina for over two and a half years as she would not release any new material until late September 1996. I feel almost bereft after all the times she’s appeared in the show in the previous twelve months! 1993 really was her (ahem) perfect year with four hit singles and a huge selling album in “So Close”.

Not that 1994 didn’t have any highlights for Dina. She was named Best Female Artist at the BRIT Awards in February whilst her album continued to sell steadily throughout the year and was shortlisted for the Mercury Music Prize. She also played a sell out tour in December. Then…nothing. She took some time out after suffering from burnout and then record label contract wrangles delayed the release of her new album. By the time it came out, Britpop had happened and the musical landscape had changed. “Only Human” sold well enough but Dina was never as big as she was during her initial flush of success.

Just like “The Perfect Year”, here’s another record that had been around the charts for a while by this point and was also inside the Top 5. Whereas Dina Carroll was never as successful again as she was in 1993, you could make a similar claim for East 17 in 1994. Not only did “It’s Alright” reach No 3 ultimately to become their highest charting hit at that time, not only did they follow it up with another No 3 single and a No 7, not only did they release double platinum selling sophomore album “Steam” but they also notched up their first and only chart topping single which was also the year’s Christmas No 1. Phew! Breathe it in boys!

Now there’s a few things to be said about this TOTP performance not in the least Brian Harvey’s hat which was presumably the inspiration for the 1998 hit by The Tamperer featuring Mya with its lyrics “What’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?”. Secondly, what on earth was it that Terry Coldwell (geezer to the immediate left of Brian Harvey) was bringing to the party here? He just stands there sort of shuffling about. He’s shown up by everyone else on stage – Harvey as lead vocalist obviously, Tony Mortimer on piano and with his rap half way through and even the fourth guy who just noodles about on his bass guitar. Terry, it’s really not alright mate.

What’s going on here then? Why were The Mission in the charts in 1994 with a single that had already been a No 12 hit in 1988? There’s no great mystery really. It was to promote a Best Of album called “Sum And Substance” with the single in question being “Tower Of Strength”. I once spent an afternoon wandering around the record shops of York with my friend Robin who was looking for a Best Of album by The Mission (it may have even been “Sum And Substance”). Why did it take a whole afternoon? Because Robin wasn’t prepared to pay more than £5 for it. He was probably right to be so exacting on reflection.

Anyway, just like D:Ream earlier, this was not just a rerelease but a remix done by producer de jour Youth though fat lot of good that did the band as it stalled at No 33. Perhaps trying to rewrite Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” wasn’t the best career move after all.

P.S. I’m not sure what Tony ‘Friend of East 17” Dortie was on about in his intro exhorting us to listen to the bass sound on “Tower Of Strength”. What bass?

It may be a new year but the Breakers are still with us starting with “Whoomp! (There It Is)” by Tag Team. I could have sworn this was a hit later in the decade than this?

*checks Tag Team discography

Well, that didn’t take long as “Whoomp! (There It Is)” is pretty much their only claim to fame. However, the story of the track is a long one. So, do I need to do a deep dive for a Breaker that we’ll never see in full and only made No 34 on the UK Top 40? I do? You’re all cruel and heartless! OK, to answer my earlier question. This was its only appearance in our charts so it wasn’t a hit in subsequent years via a rerelease or something so that was just my memory playing tricks on me. In my defence though, the song has a life well beyond it chart stats having been used multiple times in TV adverts and on film soundtracks – it was actually remade as “Addams Family (Whoomp!)” for Addams Family Values.

Let’s begin at the beginning though. It started out as a very raunchy rap by an act called 95 South and was entitled “Whoot! There It Is” which led to accusations that they were subsequently ripped off by Tag Team. The latter’s story via DC The Brain Supreme (real name Cecil Glenn! No – really) is that he came up with it while DJing in a strip club in Atlanta with the phrase “Whoomp! There it is” referring to a stripper’s…ahem…derrière. The reaction to the track in the club was off the scale and so DC and his partner Steve Rolln set about getting themselves a record deal. Having signed up to the Bellmark label, a sanitised version which played down the sexual references was released and, appealing to a more mainstream audience than a strip club’s clientele, it went nuclear rising to No 2 in the US Billboard Hot 100. Tag Team were an overnight sensation but they hadn’t cleared the sampled they used in the track by Italian electro/disco group Kano who sued the label’s asses causing them to go bankrupt. The track lived on though being used at baseball games to soundtrack a home run leading to the duo doing half time shows (in my naivety, I originally thought the song was something to do with WWF Wrestling rather than strip clubs – maybe I was just ahead of my time). However, they couldn’t replicate the success of “Whoomp! (There It Is)” and they fell on hard times. DC went back to DJing in clubs whilst Rolln did time for drug offences.

And still their track refused to die and resurfaced in the 2003 film Elf and 2004’s Shark Tale. Sadly for Tag Team, they’d signed their publishing rights away with the Bellmark deal and so only got a writer’s credit. And yet still the song wouldn’t go away. It was used in an AT&T / iPhone advert, an ice cream campaign (“Scoop! There It is”) and a nappy commercial (“Poop! There It Is”). It was even parodied by Beavis and Butt-head (“Whoomp! There’s My Butt”). So, quite the story. You wanted it, whoomp….there it is!

From a song with, as Limahl once sang, a never ending story to one which hardly got past page one. “Time Of Our Lives” by Alison Limerick anyone? I have to admit to only being able to name one of Alison’s songs and it isn’t this one. Surely most people’s go to Limerick tune is “Where Love Lives”? I mean, it was released four times in total being a hit twice (No 27 in 1991 and No 9 in 1996). This one though was taken from her second album “With A Twist” and could only make No 36. Possibly because the record label we’re after a bigger hit than that, Alison followed it up with a cover of “Love Come Down” by Evelyn ‘Champagne’ King. That also peaked at No 36. Oh.

There was a young singer called Limerick

Who tried many times to have a hit

Sadly for her, there’s only one that was heard

It was the four times released “Where Love Lives”

The first hit now for a band who were embarking on a run of twelve consecutive Top 40 hits throughout the course of the decade. Despite spending the whole of the 90s working in record shops, I had no idea they had that many. I’m talking about West Yorkshire rockers Terrorvision who I never quite got to grips with but had a few decent tunes and deserve a better legacy than just that “Tequila” song.

“My House” was actually a rerelease of the second single to be taken from their debut album “Formaldehyde” and the scheduling of it was curious. Why? Well, it was reissued just a few weeks before the lead single from their second album came out. Surely their record company would have wanted to clear the calendar for new material or did they think the band needed a bona fide chart hit behind them before releasing anything else? Either way, it seemed to work. The rerelease of “My House” made No 29 and second album “How To Make Friends And Influence People” was a Top 20 hit (by contrast, “Formaldehyde” had only just scratched the Top 75). That album would generate five Top 40 singles whose chart position’s demonstrated the consistency of the band’s material and their growing fanbase. Check these figures out:

21 – 25 – 25 – 24 – 22

This solid foundation paved the way for ever bigger singles including a No 10 (“Bad Actress”) and a No 5 (“Perseverance”) before the ultimate high of a No 2 with “Tequila”. In my book, this added them to the list of artists who’s biggest hit is far from their best (see also The Boo Radleys, The Stranglers, Suzanne Vega and fellow West Yorkshire rockers Embrace). Lead singer Tony Wright became a bit of a celebrity durging the band’s heyday appearing several times on Never Mind The Buzzcocks and even guest presenting an episode of TOTP.

WHO?! DJ Duke?! Never heard of him! Apparently this guy’s real name is Ken Duke and he had DJ’d in some of the world’s biggest clubs before releasing his own music. His biggest crossover hit was this one “Blow Your Whistle” which seems essentially to be a house beat, a vocal sample saying ‘Blow your whistle’ and indeed some whistles being blown. Apparently Duke went on to work with such names as Junior Vasquez and Felix Da Housecat whilst also going by a slew of other monikers himself such as Roxy Breaks and Underground Attorney. Talking of names, I had art teacher by the name of Kenny Dukes and I would rather be back in his art class aged 11 than have to listen to “Blow Your Whistle” again which somehow made No 15 in the charts.

Next up are Wet Wet Wet but don’t panic as it’s not that single that they released in 1994. “Cold, Cold Heart” (not a cover of Midge Ure’s 1991 hit) was the second new track recorded for their first ever Best Of album “End Of Part One: Their Greatest Hits” which had been a big seller over Christmas. The song features on an uncredited French speaking female as demonstrated visually by the inclusion of a scantily clad woman from the promo video at the start of this performance. Her spoken word intro puts me in mind of “Je T’Aime Moi Non Plus” – Wet Wet Wet do Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg the latter of whom was responsible for one of the most excruciating moments in the history of TV…

Ahem. Anyway, back to Wet Wet Wet and their song which is the wrong side of tedious for me. It never gets goings and even if it did, it wouldn’t know where it wanted to go. No wonder the TOTP producers tried to liven it up with the inclusion of the French lady. Her appearance certainly prompted some reaction on Twitter leading to a rather unfortunate mishearing of one of the song’s lyrics by a user by the name of J.A.Y…

“Cold, Cold Heart” peaked at No 20 but their next hit was just a tad more successful…

Well this is weird! As part of the celebrations that were taking place in this year to commemorate TOTP’s 30th anniversary, the producers were raiding the archive for some classic clips. So what have they chosen for this first show of the year? Bowie with his arm around Mick Ronson’s shoulder for “Starman”? Mud and that “Tiger Feet” dance? Boy George’s’ gender bending first TOTP appearance? No, they’ve gone for Pan’s People dancing to “Mama’s Pearl” by Jackson 5, a No 25 hit from 1971! Never mind one for the Dads, it must have been one for the Grandads by 1994!

Now, those of us of a certain age will remember Pan’s People, the all female dance troupe that performed routines to hits of the day from 1968 to 1976. Watching them back today, their choreography seems not exactly innocent but…loose? Loose as in not tight and not anything to do with sexual innuendo. Basically, not highly synchronised like we would see today with every individual’s move in precise time with everybody else’s. The classic Pan’s People line up would become celebrities in their own right with the likes of Babs, Cherry, Dee Dee etc becoming household names. I’m sure there’s a scene in an episode of Porridge where Fletch name checks Babs. Eventually the troupe would splinter and be replaced by Ruby Slipper, then Legs and Co and finally Zoo before the whole concept of a specific slot for dancers was ditched in 1983.

We have a new No 1 for the start of a new year and it’s knocked Mr. Blobby off the top spot for which it deserves our thanks. It also holds the distinction of being the 700th No 1 record since the charts started being compiled. For context, the 600th came in 1987 and was “China In Your Hand” by T’Pau. On a personal level though, I didn’t like the Chaka Demus And Pliers version of “Twist And Shout” at all and it seemed to me that it was only at No 1 as it took advantage of the traditional post Christmas sales slump to jump to the top of the charts. That said, it did manage to cling on to its crown the following week before succumbing to D:Ream. It was all down hill commercially for Chaka Demus And Pliers after this. They did manage three more UK Top 40 hits though none got any higher than No 19. Their final two single releases were also cover versions – Robert Palmer’s “Every Kinda People” and “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police. Good grief!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1D:ReamThings Can Only Get BetterI did not
2Dina CarrollThe Perfect YearNope
3East 17It’s AlrightI did! I did!
4The MissionTower Of StrengthNo but my friend Robin bought their Best Of
5Tag TeamWhoomp! (There It Is)Nah
6Alison LimerickTime Of Our LivesNo
7Terrorvision My HouseIt’s a no
8DJ DukeBlow Your WhistleYou can stick your whistle up your arse mate!
9Wet Wet WetCold, Cold HeartNegative
10Jackson 5 / Pan’s PeopleMama’s PearlN/A
11Chaka Demus And PliersTwist & ShoutAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001h025/top-of-the-pops-06011994

TOTP 16 DEC 1993

To paraphrase Frankie Valli, here at TOTP Rewind it’s mid December back in ‘93 and very much like the temperatures in 2022, I recall it being very cold. I was working in the Our Price store in Altrincham and travelling there from Manchester every day by a bus and then a tram. As such, it was an early start and I have a distinct memory of standing next to the radiator in our little flat not wanting to go outside to start the commute. The radio was playing “Babe” by Take That which didn’t help my mood as it brought to mind the song’s video which had lots of snow themed scenes including Mark Owen wandering around in what appeared to be Russia looking for his former lover in a bit of a blizzard. Aside from the cold, the work days were long and busy as this was a time before streaming where you had to physically go out to a record shop and buy a CD or cassette if you wanted an album or single. We packed so many customers into that little shop on George Street that at times it felt like the floor would collapse*.

*That did happen once when I was working in the Rochdale Our Price. A floor tile just cracked one day to reveal a gaping hole underneath. Just one of the many mishaps that occurred during my retail years including a man walking through the window which he mistook for the door, the shop’s fuse box starting to smoke, alarm call outs in the middle of the night, blocked toilets, failed central heating systems etc etc.

Despite all of the above, I was loving my time in Altrincham to the extent that me and my wife even contemplated moving there and even looked around a flat or two. Fortunately, we never made that move as in the first couple of weeks after Christmas came the word from area management that I was being moved again. I wouldn’t get back to Altrincham for five years. Enough of my personal life though, which songs were those busy shoppers snapping up as the big day approached…

If your hear the names Chaka Demus and Pliers, what immediately comes to mind? Apart from the ridiculousness of that second name obviously. For me it’s 1993 and their hit “Tease Me” and yet that No 2 (in more ways than one) was eclipsed by this single, their version of “Twist And Shout”. Somehow though, it seems to have escaped my memory banks despite it going to No 1 one in early ‘94. Maybe it’s because there have been so many different releases of this perennial song. I’m guessing most of us know it from The Beatles take on it in 1963 but it was very first recorded before them by The Top Notes. The first time it was a hit was when The Isley Brothers took it into the charts in 1962. Brian Poole and The Tremeloes had the temerity to release a version just four months after The Beatles (though they claimed they were already playing it live in shows before anybody else) and had a hit with it. It’s also been attempted by The Searchers, The Kingsmen, Bruce Springsteen and then in 1988, it was given the hip-hop treatment by Salt-N-Pepa and became a No 4 single in the UK.

Fast forward five years and here it was again courtesy of Chaka Demus and Pliers (plus Jack Radics and Taxi Gang). Maybe they were inspired by Salt-N-Pepa – if it could be hip-hopped, then maybe the song could be also be reggae-fied? Or maybe they took inspiration from ragga duo Louchie Lou and Michie One who took another song originally done by The Isley Brothers but made famous by another artist (“Shout” by Lulu) and bagged a Top 10 hit earlier in 1993 . Whatever the reason, Chaka Demus and Pliers’ version of “Twist And Shout” didn’t work for me as I could never got on board with all that toasting. Also, wasn’t this more of a Summer tune than a Christmas one? I know host Tony Dortie goes on about what a big party tune it is which could crossover into festive celebrations I guess but clearly the TOTP producers saw it as a Summer song judging by the palm trees in the set they designed for the performance here.

You’d be hard pressed to find a more blatant example of record company cashing in than this. Not having had Meatloaf as their artist for a decade by this point didn’t matter at all to CBS when it came to exploiting the back catalogue of their previous charge. With “Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell” and its single “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” tearing up the charts everywhere on the planet, of course CBS we’re going to rerelease probably his most famous song. So it came to pass the Meatloaf managed to be in possession of two UK Top 20 hits simultaneously in 1993 when “Bat Out Of Hell” got to No 8 beating its original 1979 peak by seven places. Who was buying it though? The parent album is one of the best selling in history so many, many people would surely already own the song so that leaves two options to my mind. One, Meatloaf completists or two, young music fans who’d only just discovered him via his latest success and either thought this was his latest/new single or wanted to explore his older stuff.

All of this just goes to show how perceptions can change in the wake of a huge success. Two years prior to this, “Bat Out Of Hell: Re-vamped” was released -basically a straight reissue but with “Dead Ringer For Love” added – and to promote it “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” was rereleased. It peaked at No 69.

You know that debate that rages about this time of year about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not? Well, there’s surely a musical equivalent to that argument about whether “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is a Christmas song isn’t there? Why am I going on about a track that is twelve months away from being the festive No 1? I guess because looking at their performance here of “It’s Alright”, it’s clear that they weren’t averse to pushing a Christmas agenda if it suited which it did literally here as all four members are Santa suited-up. I actually beat East 17 to it by four years. In Christmas 1989, I was working in the toy department at Debenhams and used to stand in for the guy playing Father Christmas in the grotto on his breaks. That suit stank to high heaven. The store had a fire alarm go off whilst I was in it and we all had to evacuate the building. I got a few comments from the rest of the employees whilst stood outside waiting to be allowed back in.

Back to East 17 though and Tony Dortie says two things that peaked my interest in his links. Firstly that Brian Harvey was “flu affected”. We’ve been here before just the other week when Gabrielle appeared on the show in person to say she couldn’t perform her single as she had flu. Harvey goes one better by having flu but still managing to sing and jig about on stage. Flu my arse! Secondly, Dortie announces that he’s off on tour with East 17 shortly. On tour? Doing what exactly? They already had two guys in the band who appeared to do not very much at all. Surely they didn’t need a third?! Was Dortie just going to introduce them on stage each night? Was that all? Nice work if you can get it. It’s alright indeed.

In Christmas 1993, Diana Ross had a Best Of album out called “One Woman: The Ultimate Collection” which was a huge seller over the festive season going four times platinum and selling 1.2 million copies in the UK. We sold loads of it in that Altrincham Our Price where I was working but we had to go against company policy to do so. The CD was officially priced at something like £11.99 but all the other outlets in Altrincham (Boots, Woolies etc) were selling it for £9.99. Myself and the manager Cathy came to the conclusion that we wouldn’t sell any at £11.99 and so price matched. We didn’t ask permission or tell any other stores, we just did it and it worked – we sold loads and maintained a decent market share on the album. However, when the Area Manager turned up unexpectedly for a store visit we nearly shat ourselves thinking he would notice. He had this thing he did at Christmas where he would help out serving customers and so we were sure we would get busted as somebody in the queue would have the Diana Ross CD. Myself and Cathy joined in serving trying to spot anyone in the queue who would give the game away and head them off at the pass by jumping in and getting to them first. Somehow we got away with it. Phew!

Diana did an extensive tour to help promote the album an Our Price colleague went to see her on one of her dates. When I asked him how it had been the next day, he’d convinced himself that he was Ms Ross’s long lost, illegitimate child so consumed by the experience was he. I’m assuming she performed the single “Your Love” which was a new track added to the album to help promote it but it was hardly up there with some of her classic recordings for me. It peaked at No 14.

WTF?! Eight Breakers?! EIGHT?! You have to be kidding me?! That must be a record! Five is pretty much maximum capacity usually. Presumably the TOTP producers have done this because the chart at Christmas are usually clogged up with new records strategically released to cash in on the extra sales at this time of year. Even so. Eight Breakers means a whopping grand total of fourteen songs on this show! Tossers! Don’t they realise how much work this is for me?

We start with another boy band, this time of the American variety who time would surely have forgotten if not for a gimmick surrounding their name. EYC (it stood for Express Yourself Clearly) had this annoying habit of signing off from any promotional appearances by saying “E Y See ya”. Ugh! Somehow this trio of ex-New Kids On The Block backing dancers (no, that’s literally what they were) somehow managed to bag themselves six UK Top 40 hits the first of which was “Feelin’ Alright”. It had a sub House Of Pain vibe to it tailored for the teen market but it was pretty lame all the same.

My main memory of this lot came the following year. I was now working in the Our Price in Market Street, Manchester where I first started three years previously. I was on the counter with the manager and he served a young girl with one of their singles. As he went behind the shelving to get it (the stock wasn’t in the racks live at this point) he said to me in a really loud voice which the customer must have heard, “This is crap isn’t it?”. How I cringed.

Next up a tune so intensely and annoyingly catchy it’s still in my head nearly thirty years on. I would have said that “Come Baby Come” by K7 was from 1994 not 1993. I’m kind of right. It reached its peak of No 3 in the January of ‘94 but was actually released in December ‘93. K7 was essentially US all rounder Louis Sharpe. A rapper, songwriter, record producer, he also went by the name of Kayel. He’s only really known over here though for this single. Employing that call and answer style of rap (is it meant to be him and his homies who he’s hangin’ with?), it kind of reminds me of that drill instructor song from the late 80s. What was it called again?

*googles ‘drill instructor song’

That’s it! “Full Metal Jacket (I Wanna Be Your Drill Instructor)” by Abigail Mead and Nigel Goulding…

Anyway, it also had that drive-you- insane shouty chorus that once heard is never forgotten*. Maybe it was just meant to distract you from those innuendo loaded lyrics which were actually pretty filthy. I guess the clue was in the song title but check these out:

Better move it fast so you can pump it (pump it)
Two balls and a bat (hoo), a pitcher with a hat (ha)
Slidin’ into home base, tryin’ to hit a home run
Swing batta batta batta batta batta swing

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Louis Sharpe / Joey Gardner
Come Baby Come lyrics © Universal Music – Z Songs, Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Blue Ink Music, Third And Lex Music

You don’t have to be Finbarr Saunders to work out what’s going on here! I’m sure we’ll be seeing and hearing more of K7 in future TOTP repeats. For those of a delicate nature, you have been warned!

*Such an ear worm is it that thirty years later, when I want my dog called Benji to come to me, I often say “Come Benji come, Benji, Benji come come”.

Ah now, talking of delicate…how to approach this one? OK well, the facts around the record are that “Gone Too Soon” was the ninth and final single taken from Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous” album (the first – “Black And White” – had been released an incredible 25 months earlier). As the ninth single from an album that had been out for two years, even Jackson couldn’t eke out a big hit from it and it stalled at No 33. This was his lowest UK chart placing since a rerelease of “Girl Your So Together” in 1984.

Jackson recorded the track as a tribute to Ryan White, a US teenager who was haemophiliac and became infected with the HIV virus from a contaminated blood treatment. This was the dark ages of 1984 and Ryan was subsequently barred by his school from attending due to concerns from other parents that he would spread the virus. Given just six months to live, Ryan lived on for another five years in which time he became a high profile figure for HIV/AIDS research and public education attracting the attention of Jackson.

Unfortunately for the singer (and this is where the delicate bit comes in) the release of the song coincided with allegations of child sexual abuse against him made by the then thirteen years old Jordan Chandler. I’m guessing the single’s cover with a picture of Jackson walking around his Neverland ranch with Ryan maybe didn’t do the King of Pop any favours in the eyes of anyone who wanted to believe the allegations. The case was eventually settled out of court with the plaintiff reportedly receiving $23 million. Speculation about Jackson’s private life (already a media frenzy) had gone onto another, darker level. The scrutiny and effects of the accusations would never leave him and indeed resurfaced in 2003 with a second set of allegations. Jackson was acquitted on all counts in 2005. Four years later, he would be dead himself from cardiac arrest. At the memorial service, Usher performed “Gone Too Soon” and the circle was complete.

After being on the show last time, Cliff Richard is into the charts but it’s more with a loud fart than a bang at a lowly No 27 with “Healing Love”. The single would struggle on gamely to a high of No 19 but it was a far cry from the massive Christmas hits of “Mistletoe And Wine” and “Saviour’s Day”.

I can’t even find the official promo video for the single online so unloved is the song but from the few seconds we see here there seems to be a lot of billowing drapes behind Cliff as he sings. Haven’t seen as much material being wafted about since Spandau Ballet and “Only When You Leave” in 1984.

Next up a duet featuring a man who, despite being around since the time of disco, is only known in the UK for three songs, all of them collaborations with a female singer. Peabo Bryson first had a – no wait! You’re right. Let’s address that name of his before anything else. Peabo…you don’t get many of them to the pound do you? I’ve never heard anyone calling out “Peabo, come here now!” or “Have you seen our Peabo?”. However, I do know someone who once heard these immortal words come out of the mouth of a tired and frustrated mother:

Oi! Cleopatra! Pack it in or I’ll twat ya!”

Hessle Road, Hull sometime around 2010

Only in Hull. Anyway, Peabo isn’t his real name. No, of course it isn’t! Sadly his real name is worse if anything – Robert Peapo Bryson. Peapo! That’s what you say when playing with a baby! As I was saying though, he first had a hit in the UK in 1983 with “Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You”, an horrendously schmaltzy ballad that went all the way to No 2. There then followed an eight year gap until he returned with the title song from the Disney animation Beauty And The Beast alongside Celine Dion which bagged them a Top 10 hit. Clearly onto a good thing, he returned in 1993 with another Disney film song. This time it was “A Whole New World” which was from Aladdin and was, of course, another duet. The lucky lady this time was US singer songwriter Regina Belle who had been releasing records since 1987 without much commercial success. That was rectified and then some by “A Whole New World”. Not only was it an American No 1, it also is noteworthy for being the record that finally knocked Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” off the top spot after fourteen weeks over there. The reception to the record was a bit more lukewarm in the UK where it peaked at No 12.

It’s been covered a few times including by ex- One Direction member Zayn Malik (alongside Zhavia Ward) but the one that really stands out is the version by the god awful Peter Andre and his then wife Katie Price who included it on their album of covers also called “A Whole New World”. The track listing includes their takes on “Islands In The Stream” and the aforementioned “Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You”. Hell’s teeth! That’s a whole new world of pain more like!

Next another of those rappers that the white middle class kids of Altrincham, Cheshire would fawn over. Ice T had a reputation for controversy that far outweighed any commercial success he achieved, certainly in this country. By 1993, he’d already released five albums but had never had a UK Top 40 hit…until “That’s How I’m Livin’”. We kind of knew already how he was living (that’s with a ‘g’ rather than as a ‘G’) and that was tendentiously. He’d provoked the ire of the POTUS George Bush no less with the release of “Cop Killer” by Body Count a track he wrote and a band he was a member of. He is also recognised as one of the defining influences of gangster rap and had well publicised disputes with fellow rappers like LL Cool J. However, Ice T was also savvy enough to diversify and forged an acting career for himself, starring in dozens of films and TV shows like New Jack City and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. “That’s How I’m Livin’” was taken from his album “Home Invasion” and peaked at No 21.

We didn’t know it at the time but the “Spooky” single would be the last material released by New Order (barring Best Ofs and rereleased singles) for eight years. For five of those years, the band didn’t see each other at all whilst the concentrated on personal projects. Yet again I have zero recall of this track. New Order singles of 1993? “Regret” of course. “Ruined In A Day”? Yeah. “World (The Price Of Love)”? Just about. This one though? I’ve got nothing, zero, nada. Like I’ve never heard it before. Why put out a fourth single from an album that been out for months during the Christmas rush? Consequently, “Spooky” only made No 22 which is actually higher than I would have expected. Maybe they just wanted to set a personal band record. This was the first time that New Order ever achieved four hits from the same album.

Tellingly, Tony Dortie says he doesn’t think the band have ever made a bad video. A bad video? Is that what they’d become reduced to by this point? What about the music? There were worst times ahead though with Peter Hook leaving under very acrimonious circumstances. Oh dear.

The final Breaker is a song that had already almost been the Christmas No 1 once and was rush released in 1993 to try again. Back in 1984, the whole of the UK record buying public seemed to be enthralled by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Two No 1 singles clocking up fifteen weeks at the top between them meant that when it came to the runners and riders for the festive chart topper, they were the bookies favourite. They had an epic, bowl-you-over ballad that was perfect for Christmas. They even had a nativity themed promo video. “The Power Of Love” duly went to No 1 on its first week of release. What hadn’t been figured into the odds was Bob Geldof and Band Aid which, when the list of high profile pop star contributors to the record became known, was always going to be the Christmas chart topper. Frankie were dethroned after just one week. Could the 1993 rerelease do what the 1984 original couldn’t and be No 1 for Yuletide? For Bob Geldof read Mr Blobby. They never stood a chance though “The Power Of Love” remains a firm favourite on Christmas playlists to this day. Mr Blobby on the other hand…

One of the success stories of 1993 now (and it pains me to say it) as we catch up with Haddaway in Disney World, Florida. Didn’t we see PM Dawn and Boy George there this year as well? Did TOTP have some sort of arrangement with Disney? Anyway, after No 2 and No 6 hits in the UK charts, the big question for Haddaway wasn’t “What Is Love?” but “how do I get a third hit? Well, one of the biggest lessons we’ve learned from these hundreds of TOTP repeats is that if you’re a new act with a shiny, uptempo pop song, you can replicate that formula for the follow up but you need something different for the third release and what is more different than a ballad? Haddaway clearly knew the rules and his third release was indeed a slow, romantic number called “I Miss You”. Sadly though, it’s not only slow but completely laboured and ponderous. It literally never gets out of first gear. Just dreadful. The lyrics sound like they came out of a one minute brainstorming session about the most obvious themes of love and regret.

I miss you, oh I miss you
I’m gonna need you more and more each day
I miss you, more than words can say
More than words can ever say

Copyright © 2000-2022 AZLyrics.com

Dreadful stuff. Somehow though, this nonsense got to No 9 to give Haddaway his third consecutive Top 10 hit. 1993 really had a lot to answer for.

Take That have gone straight into the charts at No 1 for the third consecutive time with “Babe”. No other act had done this at the time. Not the aforementioned Frankie, not The Jam (they managed two) not anyone. It really was quite the rise when you consider that eighteen months earlier, their biggest hit to date had been the No 38 single “Promises”. By Christmas 1993, they were the undisputed heroes for a generation of teenage girls. Of course, it’s not like we hadn’t seen bands being screamed at before. Bay City Rollers, Duran Duran, Bros…and yet none of them attained this particular chart achievement.

Tony Dortie joins the band on stage at the song’s end for a cosy chat about how well they’re doing and so high on success are they that they take the piss out of dethroned No 1 Mr Blobby by doing some Blobby impressions (led by Robbie Williams naturally). The pink and yellow dotted buffoon would have his revenge a week later when, rather improbably, he returned to the top of the charts to bag the Christmas No 1. I remember thinking that this was nuts and how had it happened? I was no Take That fan obviously but at least “Babe” was a proper song. Somebody who was a fan was my younger sister and years later she went to see a Robbie Williams tribute act where, in an unlikely turn of events, the worlds of Mr Blobby and Take That collided once more. The impersonator was a rather rotund figure and so his stage name was Blobby Williams and he was part of Take Fat. Marvellous.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Chaka Demus and PliersTwist And ShoutNope
2MeatloafBat Out Of HellNo
3East 17It’s AlrightYes, yes I did
4Diana RossYour LoveNever happening
5EYCFeelin’ AlrightAs if
6K7Come Baby ComeI did not
7Michael JacksonGone Too SoonNah
8Cliff RichardHealing LoveOf course not
9Peabo Bryson and Regina BelleA Whole New WorldNoi chance
10Ice TThat’s How I’m LivinNot my bag
11New OrderSpookyNegative
12Frankie Goes To HollywoodThe Power Of LoveNot in 1984 nor 1993
13HaddawayI Miss YouAwful – no
14Take That BabeAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001fy5t/top-of-the-pops-16121993