TOTP 03 MAY 1990
Can you remember a time before the word ‘Brexit’ even existed? A time when the UK wasn’t being torn apart by rival factions concerning our relationship with Europe? A time even when we didn’t always completely fall on our arses when it came to the Eurovision Song Contest? For yes, that time did used to exist when we were routinely amongst the favourites to win the competition before every other country hated us and gave us a paltry points score (or in the case of Jemini in 2003 the dreaded ‘nul points’). As we reach May in these BBC4 1990 TOTP repeats, Eurovision rears its head again and the final in this year took place on the Saturday after this show was broadcast. We had come 2nd in the previous two years and had only finished out of the Top 10 once in the previous decade which also included an actual win in 1981 courtesy of Bucks Fizz and those mini skirts. Fast forward nine years and our entry is from a 15 year old Welsh school girl but more of her later.
For now, we start with ….Simon Mayo’s shorts and knees! What was he thinking?! In recent weeks we’ve had Jakki Brambles in big Winter coats (twice) clearly freezing, Mark Goodier complaining about being too hot whilst being dressed in full jacket, shirt and tie combo and now this! Most off putting. The first act that the be-shorted Mayo introduces is Sinitta with “Hitchin’ A Ride” who adds some more confusion to this issue about the temperature in the TOTP studio. Without wishing to sound like a perv, I can’t help but notice that Sinitta gives the impression it was not that warm in the studio that day (despite Mayo’s choice of outfit) judging by the…well…’stunt nipples’ that she is sporting. What’s that? What about the music? Oh, well..erm…well, this single was taken from her “Wicked” album which was given the Cherry Pop super deluxe re-issue treatment which was well received judging by some of the Amazon customer reviews of it. Check out this one from a very happy fan:
One of the best pure-pop albums of all time, in my opinion. Not one bad track on it. You won’t be disappointed if you buy this!!
Alternatively, we have this via someone who goes by the username of Too Shy:
Please avoid this, its far too cheesy and friends who examine your record collection while you nip up to the bathroom will be gone by the time you return if they find it.
By the way, I didn’t include that review because of the use of the word ‘nip’ in it just to carry on the subject of Sinitta’s chest! I didn’t! I used it as it reminded me of something that a guy called Pete who I used to work with said to me once. Pete was the original bass player in The Stone Roses and a cool as f**k but he did once say this which I found quite remarkable. The scenario he outlined was that if he was to meet the woman of his dreams who was compatible with him in every single way and he would gladly spend the rest of his life with her, if he found a Phil Collins CD in her collection he’d be out of there in a heartbeat and wouldn’t look back. Not sure what his views on Sinitta were though.
“Hitchin’ A Ride” peaked at No 24.
A new track incoming from Soul II Soul with their latest single “A Dream’s a Dream“. The second single from their sophomore album “Vol. II: 1990 – A New Decade”, I wasn’t sure that I knew how this one went until hearing it again but the “I can see, I can see…right through you” refrain does ring a bell. Why are we getting the video and not a studio performance from the band? Well, in a Smash Hits interview in this year, main man Jazzie B made some cryptic comments about the show and the BBC in general that suggested that he wasn’t completely OK with the corporation. When asked if he ever disagrees with his mother, he replied:
“She’ll say things like ‘Why won’t you go on Top Of The Pops‘? I have to show her that it’s badness to explain what you’re dealing with…”
When asked if he would ever be on Top Of The Pops again, he replied:
“I don’t know. Maybe if it weren’t the BBC. I can’t really say. I can’t be damaging my career. It’s existed for many years and has helped many people but it’s for pop star isn’t it?”
Hmm. Something definitely not quite right there I think.
As for “A Dream’s a Dream”, it did a good job of consolidating the band’s success and profile and paving the way for the release of that second album a couple of weeks later by going to No 6 in the charts.
A highlight of the rock year next, well at least that’s what Simon Mayo says in his intro, as we get the new single by Morrissey. I’m not sure that Mozza enjoys such reverence these days on account of him having turned into a right arse but back in 1990, I guess he was still worthy of discussion. One thing you’d have to say about Morrissey is that he did have intriguing song titles. “November Spawned A Monster” certainly fell into that category for me. What was it about? Here’s Moz himself courtesy of @TOTPFacts:
Apparently the song sparked some criticism of Morrissey who was accused of ridiculing the disabled (the titular ‘monster’) but I’m not convinced that was his intention at all.
With Eurovision having been imminent when he gave this performance, I can’t not mention Mozza’s own little footnote in the song contest’s history. Back in 2007, heavy rumours circulated that he was in negotiations with the BBC to be that year’s UK entry. Apparently, he had been appalled that the previous year’s UK act who had finished in 19th place. Sadly, it was never meant to be although Morrissey had been serious about taking part supposedly. And for anyone thinking I’m making all this up…. look, it was even reported on the news…
Some “Dirty Cash (Money Talks)” next courtesy of Adventures Of Stevie V. I haven’t got much more to say about this one other than Stevie V (real name Stephen Vincent) once described the rave experience as
“…it’s like on the telly when you see the Queen coming out onto the balcony and everyone’s cheerin’ and feeling really brilliant. It’s that sort of crack, except with music.”
And there was me wondering in my middle age if I’d missed out by never having attended a rave. As a firm republican, if that’s what it was all about, blow that for a game of soldiers.
“Dirty Cash (Money Talks)” peaked at No 2.
Three Breakers now and we start with En Vogue. Now, whilst no sort of expert, I thought I had a pop quiz passable knowledge of these ladies in that I can name more than one of their singles but having read up about them, they’re like a singing and dancing eight-legged soap opera that I knew nothing about. Their conveyor belt of line up changes makes The Sugababes look like a model of consistency and longevity. Check this out:
- Original members are: Terry Ellis, Dawn Robinson, Cindy Herron, and Maxine Jones
- 1997: Dawn Robinson leaves
- 2001: Maxine Jones leaves and Amanda Cole joins
- 2003: Amanda Cole leaves and Rhona Bennett joins
- 2005: The original members briefly reform before disbanding again
- 2009: The original members reform again for their “En Vogue: 20th Anniversary” tour
- 2011: Dawn Robinson and Maxine Jones leave again while Rhona Bennett rejoins
Confused? You will be…we haven’t even got onto the lawsuits yet! When Maxine Jones and Dawn Robinson left the band for the second time in 2011, they joined forces, added a new singer and hatched plans to record and tour under the name Heirs To The Throne. Then Robinson decided to leave before that got off the ground so Jones got in another singer to replace her and went on the road under the name of En Vogue To The Max (see what she did there?). At which point, the inevitable lawsuit was filed by original members Cindy Herron and Terry Ellis (who were still touring as a duo under the name of En Vogue) against Jones for unauthorized use of the band’s name. The judge ruled in Herron and Ellis’s favour. And we thought that the legal fight for the right to own the name Bucks Fizz was a saga!
Anyway, back in happier times, the original line up are here with their debut single “Hold On” which would got to No 5 in the UK and No 2 in the US. Put together by songwriting duo Denzil Foster and Thomas McElroy, they were originally conceived as following in the tradition of some of the celebrated 60s girl groups like The Supremes but without any of the members being the designated star. It was to be a democratic unit in which every member would qualify to take the lead vocals on any given number. Yeah, looking at those multiple line up changes, I’m not sure if that ever worked out.
The return of Billy Idol now who was last seen in the UK Top 40 in 1987. “Cradle Of Love” was the lead single from his “Charmed Life” album and was a massive hit in the US only being kept off the No 1 spot by Mariah Carey. We were less interested back in blighty and the single stumbled to a No 34 peak. I’m not surprised – it sounds completely uninspired to my ears; in fact its sounds like a dodgy rewrite of his 1986 hit “To Be A Lover” – lots of rawk ‘n’ roll growling but very little in the way of a tune.
Never mind what it sounded like though, what the hell was going on in that video?! Well, the song was based around the saying ‘robbing the cradle’ meaning sexual relationships between the individuals where there is a large age gap. The video director obviously took the song’s meaning to heart and came up with a Lolita style plot line. It all looks decidedly creepy viewed in 2020 but back in 1990, TOTP seemed fine with showing it. Billy himself appears in the video only in the background as he had suffered a significant injuries back in February of this year following a motorcycle accident. It didn’t stop him touring to promote the album though against his doctor’s wishes. His injuries curtailed his role in the Oliver Stone The Doors biopic so to make up for this, he released a cover of The Doors “L.A. Woman” as his next single. Nobody was interested in that at all though.
Ah man, it’s Michael Bolton again! Look, I have no intention of reliving my Bolton live concert story every time he’s featured in these TOTP repeats so I’m going to just ignore it. It’s there in all its gory glory in a previous post if you want to read all about it.
“How Can We Be Lovers” was the follow up to his No 3 hit “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You”. Listening back to it now, it sounds like it could be a Rocky theme tune performed by Survivor. Either that or a Belinda Carlisle B-side. At least it had more of a punch to it than its wimpy predecessor but that’s as positive as I can get about it. I was surprised to learn that it had been such a big hit over here (No 10). No doubt Bolton would have performed it when I saw him live three years later and …oh shit! I wasn’t going to go there again was I?!
These songs that I can’t recall at all are coming thick and fast now. BBG (or Big Boss Groove even) anyone? “Snappiness” was their hit but I’ve got nothing about them in the old memory banks at all.
*checks internet*
Not much there either. What I did discover is that “Snappiness” is basically the (featured earlier) Soul II Soul’s track “Happiness” with some added vocals courtesy of singer Dina Taylor. Also I found out that BBG’s main man Tony Newland wasn’t keen on giving any royalties from his hit to Jazzie B although he did admit that Soul II Soul were one of the “best things to happen to British dance music in years”. Oh well, I’m sure some grovelling compliments would have been enough to assuage Jazzie – pay him what you owe him you cheapskate!
“Snappiness” peaked at No 28.
Another airing for “Tattooed Millionaire” by Bruce Dickinson next. Not only is Bruce the lead singer with Iron Maiden, not only is he a qualified commercial pilot, not only is he an international level fencer, he is also a published author! I had no idea until I researched him. He wrote a book called The Adventures Of Lord Iffy Boatrace which was published the same month as this TOTP was broadcast back in 1990. What is it about? Here’s the synopsis from its Amazon listing:
Lord Iffy Boatrace invited some of the Old Boys for a holiday with a difference. But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests – to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.
Ah…erm…well. That sounds erm…f*****g horrible. Judging by its Amazon reviews though, the people that bought it loved it. Dickinson wrote a sequel two years later. Its title? The Missionary Position: the Further Advances of Lord Iffy Boatrace.
Hang on though Bruce. How do you write something like that and then also write a song “Tattooed Millionaire” that supposedly criticises the excesses and bad behaviour of the ‘rock star’ scene? Here’s Bruce himself discussing what the song is about courtesy of @TOTPFacts:
Bruce seems quite conflicted in his values I would suggest. Bruce is also a prominent Brexiteer. I’ll just leave that last sentence there without further comment.
TOTP presenter in correct prediction shocker! After years of Radio 1 DJs pontificating about which record on on the show would go to No 1 and getting it spectacularly wrong, here’s Simon Mayo actually getting one right! Adamski (and not forgetting Seal) will be top of the charts next week with “Killer”. In every TOTP appearance so far though, the presenter has forgotten about Seal and refers just to Adamski in their intro (as Simon Mayo does here). Was it on the insistence of the record label? It seems grossly unfair on reflection. Seal is certainly the visual focus point of the performance while Admaski…well…jigs about a bit whilst twiddling on his keyboards. Maybe he should have gone the Chris Lowe of the Pet Shop Boys route who made standing still an art form.
I’m not sure about the woman in the background either. She looks like she’s limbering up for a ballet class. She should have gone the Tales Of The Unexpected route…
As the camera pans back to Mayo at the end of “Killer”, what the f**k is he doing? Is he trying to replicate the ballet dancer woman’s moves? After giving you credit for a correct chart prediction Simon, I now have to rescind it for that embarrassing display.
Right, onwards and upwards to the No 1 which is still Madonna with “Vogue”. It’s the fourth and final week for her at the top which is a pretty good run. In my head, the parent album “I’m Breathless” didn’t perform so well but on examination of its figures, it did OK. It went to No 2 in the album chart, was certified double platinum for achieving 600,000 sales in the UK and has sold 7 million copies worldwide. However, all of that looks pretty pedestrian when compared to how her next release performed when released at the close of 1990. Her first (and possibly still the best I would argue) greatest hits album “The Immaculate Collection” would go on to sell 31 million copies worldwide making it the best-selling compilation album by a solo artist ever!
Right then, back to where we started from – no not with Sinitta (although she was technically the first act on the show tonight and did release a single called “Right Back Where We Started From”!). No, back to the Eurovision Song Contest of course! Our entry this year was from Emma who performed a song called “Give A Little Love Back To The World”. Mayo is back on the prediction game confidently forecasting a victory for Emma and thereby returning to the familiar TOTP presenter pattern of getting such things completely wrong. Emma would trail in sixth which would be more than respectable in current times but probably seemed a bit disappointing back in 1990. This was her performance that night….
The contest was actually won by Italy whose Toto Cutugno was aged 46 years and 302 days at the time of his victory, making him the oldest winner of the contest to date. He held the record until 2001. This was in stark contrast to Emma who, as Terry Wogan advises in the clip above, was the UK’s youngest ever contestant at the age of 15. Want to hear the winning song? OK then….
When he was announced as the winner, Toto Cutugno splashed water on his face and hair which caused his hair dye to run! Thirty years later, this ‘look’ was replicated by Rudy Guiliani….
For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:
| Order of appearance | Artist | Song | Did I Buy it? |
| 1 | Sinitta | Hitchin’ A Ride | Shittin’ a turd more like – no |
| 2 | Soull II Soul | A Dream’s A Dream | Nope |
| 3 | Morrissey | November Spawned A Monster | Sorry Mozza – it’s a no |
| 4 | Adventures of Stevie V | Dirty Cash (Money Talks) | Not for me thanks |
| 5 | En Vogue | Hold On | Nah |
| 6 | Billy Idol | Cradle Of Love | No but it’s on his Greatest Hits CD that I own. Gulp! |
| 7 | Michael Bolton | How Can We Be Lovers | NO! |
| 8 | BBG | Snappiness | Negative |
| 9 | Bruce Dickinson | Tattooed Millionaire | And no |
| 10 | Adamski | Killer | No but I had the Seal album with his version of it on |
| 11 | Madonna | Vogue | Not the single but it’s on my copy of that Immaculate Collection CD |
| 12 | Emma | Give A Little Love Back To The World | Of course not |
Disclaimer
OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000pz18/top-of-the-pops-03051990
I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).
All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
Some bedtime reading?
https://michaelmouse1967.wixsite.com/smashhits-remembered/1990-issues
TOTP Rewind - the 90s 