EYC

TOTP 08 DEC 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

Christmas is coming but the charts aren’t full of facts. The Top 40 announced on the Sunday before this TOTP contained incorrect information. Apparently there were some Woolworths shops that couldn’t retrieve their sales data to send to chart compilers Millward Brown so the tech guys were deployed to extract it. This they did except it was the wrong data. They just duplicated the Friday sales figures instead of Saturday’s and by the time the mistake was noticed it was too late as the Top 40 had been published and announced on Radio 1. Millward Brown chose to style it out by retrospectively compiling the correct chart but it was never made available to the public other than by using it as the basis for the ‘last week’ positions for the following week’s chart. It must have played havoc with the minds of all the Top 40 nerds devotees out there. TOTP decided to go with the chart that Radio 1 had initially announced rather than the revised one but in the end, the cock up hadn’t made that much difference to many records with only minor adjustments of a place or two being required – I think the biggest was that Mariah Carey should have been at No 5 rather than No 6.

Anyway, none of the above is mentioned by guest presenter Neneh Cherry who is the holder of the ‘golden mic’ chalice this week. Neneh had been back in the charts of course in a big way in 1994 alongside Youssou N’Dour on “7 Seconds” but even so, I’m not sure that she had the pull that she would have had 5 years previously. Still, she had a nice delivery style and brought a certain amount of credibility to proceedings. Her first job is to introduce the opening act who is Whigfield who had the unenviable task of trying to follow up a massive selling debut single somehow. And how do you do that? As we have seen so many times in the course of these TOTP repeats, you take the original record, add a few minor changes, give it a different song title and release it all over again. Listen to the banking track on “Another Day” – exactly the same as “Saturday Night”. To try and fool the record buying public into purchasing a single they’d already bought once, the producer behind the Whigfield brand – one Larry Pignagnoli – mixed things up by stealing the groove from Mungo Jerry’s 1970 No 1 “In The Summertime” (main Mungo Ray Dorset would receive a writing credit ultimately). It’s all very unsatisfactory and underhand really but it got Whigfield a Top 10 hit just in time for the Christmas party season. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – nice work if you can get it.

Of course, party dance tunes wasn’t the only way to bag yourself a Christmas hit. A nice ballad was also a strong and proven strategy. Many an artist had pulled off the trick of coming out with a ‘slowie’ in contrast to their previous material over the years – Wet Wet Wet (“Angel Eyes”), The Christians (“Ideal World”) and Bros (“Cat Among The Pigeons”) from the late 80s spring to mind but I’m sure there’s loads more examples. Not impervious to this idea were PJ & Duncan whose previous hits had all been uptempo examples of their brand of pop rap but the fifth single from their album “Psyche” and their fourth hit of the year broke that mould. I guess with a title like “Eternal Love” we shouldn’t have been surprised. Aimed squarely at the teenage girl’s market, it’s as wet and drippy as a poor quality nappy. Do you think this was their attempt at following in LL Cool J’s footsteps when he slowed things down for his hit “I Need Love”?

At this fledgling stage of their career, there were still a few things the duo had to sort out and come to a decision on. Firstly, PJ / Ant’s hat – what was that all about?! So that we could tell them apart?! I’m not sure how long this style affectation lasted but at some point it was ditched. Another style decision that was yet to be resolved was actually more of a staging conundrum. Who should stand where. These days, the fact that Ant stands to the left and Dec the right as we look at our TV screens (in reverse for them of course) is well established but it’s the other way round in this performance and I think it has been like that for every TOTP appearance so far. I wonder when and why they changed it? Is there some sort of feng shui consultant but for people whose services you can call upon?

Next up it’s the familiar video for Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” after the The Ronnettes pastiche promo last time. Presumably it wasn’t that familiar back in 1994 though. You can’t avoid it now, so immeshed is it in our festive culture. You could just as easily make a case for a game of Mariah-geddon as Wham-a-geddon. In fact, so ubiquitous is the track that I think the fact that she did a whole album of Christmas songs is almost overlooked. Can you name any of the other tracks on that “Merry Christmas” album without either owning it or looking it up?

Apparently, there were other singles lifted from it (either for commercial release or promotional purposes) though not in the UK I believe. In other territories, “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” and “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) both charted but I’m fairly confident in saying that if you were to hear those songs played on radio in this country it would be the Bruce Springsteen and Darlene Love versions. Despite being No 1 in certain countries, the album only managed a peak of No 32 in the UK. Still, it’s all about that song isn’t it and it’s so far generated $80 million in royalties.

The first TOTP appearance next of a boy band that would last the decade and beyond despite the most inauspicious of beginnings. Boyzone were put together by Louis Walsh (who later found fame himself as a judge on TV shows X Factor and Popstars) with the direct intention of forming an Irish Take That (who were themselves put together by Nigel Martin-Smith to be a British New Kids On The Block). After auditioning 300 hopefuls, an initial six-piece outfit was established and they appeared on Irish talk show The Late Late Show in late 1993 to do…erm…this:

So when I said inauspicious beginnings earlier, what I actually meant was perhaps the most mortifying, ignominious debacle ever witnessed on TV. Sheesh! What were they thinking?! What was Louis Walsh thinking?! Was anybody thinking?! Despite that…whatever it was…the group weren’t killed stone dead by it and somehow got signed by Polygram. There were casualties though. Two of the original line up were ditched and were replaced by Mikey Graham who joined Roman Keating, Stephen Gately, Shane Lynch and Keith Duffy for the release of their debut single, a cover of the Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons / The Spinners hit “Working My Way Back To You” which was a success on the Irish chart but nowhere else. That was all the impetus they needed though and another cover of “Love Me For A Reason” (made famous by The Osmonds) would make them bona fide chart stars when it made No 2 over Christmas in the UK singles chart.

Watching this TOTP performance back, it’s clear that some drastic styling had gone on since that turn on The Late Late Show. They’ve all been kitted out with suits and super wide collar shirts to create a sense of unity and their dancing has been stripped back to a few synchronised arm movements and sidesteps. No more freestyle workouts for these boys. It just about hangs together well enough to deliver the song. They would go on to have another fifteen hit singles before the decade was out including six No 1s and six No 2s. The time of Boyzone (not Boys’ Own Neneh) was upon us.

Gloria Estefan does U2? Of course not – it’s not the same song at all although their similar titles could cause confusion I guess. Gloria’s hit is a cover of the 50s song “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” taken from her album of the same name. U2, on the other hand, contributed a song to the soundtrack of the movie Batman Forever called “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”. Hope that clarifies everything.

Gloria’s single did surprisingly well for her just missing out on the Top 10 by one place and thereby becoming her biggest hit since “Megamix / Miami Hit Mix” made No 8 promoting her Best Of album two years prior. You had to go back to 1989 and “Don’t Wanna Lose You” for her previous Top 10 hit. Maybe it was the Christmas factor that allowed Gloria to hit big with a familiar if not well known love song? She would never have such a high placing single in the UK charts again though she has continued to release albums up to the present day with the last being 2022’s Christmas collection. What with Gloria and Mariah both having done Christmas albums, all we need now is one from Madonna for a full set. Or maybe we don’t…need a Madonna Christmas album that is.

Now here’s EYC following the same game plan as PJ & Duncan earlier in that they’re ditching their usual high tempo mix of pop and R&B for a slow smoocher for the Christmas market. “One More Chance” was all sighs and harmonies but very little in the way substance or indeed a tune. In short, it was a stinker.

PJ & Duncan weren’t the only influence on the trio though. They must have been watching Boyzone in rehearsals with their shirts and suits and decided that they wanted a piece of that action. Are they morning suits they’re wearing?! They also seem to have pinched some of Ronan and co’s stripped back dance moves but then completely blow the whole effect by attempting to outdo them with the addition of a totally incongruous accessory. What were the white gloves all about? They look like snooker referees on the pull! Utter nonsense. Talk about “Snooker Loopy”! Brave heart though as I think this lousy lot have just one more hit single in them and then their table will have been cleared.

Cliff Richard is no stranger to a duet. He’s performed alongside the likes of Sarah Brightman, Elton John, Van Morrison, Olivia Newton John, Cilla Black and this guy – Phil Everly and not just once but twice. Back in 1983, Cliff and Phil took “She Means Nothing To Me” to No 9 in the UK charts. I didn’t mind it actually although obviously I never let anyone at school know this. Fast forward 11 years and the two were reunited for a curious collaboration. How so? Well, there was nothing particularly odd about their choice of song; “All I Have To Do Is Dream” had been a No 1 for The Everly Brothers in 1958 so it was a song Phil had been performing for over 35 years. Cliff meanwhile had his first hit “Move It” in the very same year so was a contemporary of Phil’s and would of course know the song. Cliff was promoting a Best Of collection for Christmas in 1994 called “The Hit List” which rounded up all his highest charting singles to date (those that went Top 5 or higher) but curiously also included one that only made No 15. “Miss You Nights” was a hit in 1976 but was included on “The Hit List” as it was a fan favourite.

“So what?” you may ask. Well, a remix of “Miss You Nights” was released as a single to promote the album which seems an unexpected choice of song given the nature of the album’s track listing criteria. That wasn’t all though. It was released as a double A-side single with a live version of “All I Have To Do Is Dream” which wasn’t on the album at all! OK, then maybe it was on an album by Phil Everly and it was promoting that? Not according to my research – his last solo album had been in 1983. There was a 105 track Everly Brothers box set released in 1994 but surely that would have been for super fans and completists only. I can’t believe the Cliff/Phil single was anything to do with that. So what was the rationale behind its release? Yes, obviously Christmas was on the way and Cliff had absolutely cornered the Christmas singles market in recent years but did his record company EMI really think he could garner another festive No 1 with this? In the end, it scampered up the charts to No 14 so nowhere near replicating the success of “Mistletoe And Wine” or “Saviour’s Day”. Phil never released another solo single after this whilst Cliff would return in 1995 with his musical project Heathcliff which he conceived, starred in and allowed him to release an album of songs from.

https://youtu.be/9W5h34PAumY

Next up is “the very attractive Jimmy Nail” according to Neneh Cherry. Jimmy’s transition from Oz in Auf Wiedersehen Pet, who was an extremely likeable character but hardly a pin up, to the sleek, some may say chiselled, pop star/actor we see here was quite a thing. Obviously he’d lost quite a bit of weight since he first appeared on our screens but was it also something to do with the more endearing roles we were seeing him perform in Spender and Crocodile Shoes? I think it’s a possibility.

Talking of roles, a reader reminded me in reply to a previous post where I wondered whatever happened to Jimmy that as well as the two shows mentioned above, he was also kept busy with a third and fourth series of Auf Wiedersehen Pet in 2002 and 2004 respectively and two hour long episodes called Au Revoir that were broadcast in the Christmas of 2004. As for “Crocodile Shoes” the single, was at its chart peak of No 4 this week; a significant success though I don’t think it ever really had a chance of being the Christmas No 1.

East 17 are No 1 with “Stay Another Day” and will remain there for 5 weeks to become the festive chart topper as well. As I recall, the Christmas chart was actually announced on the TOTP broadcast on the big day itself and I was convinced that Oasis would pip both East 17 and Mariah Carey to the crown with their standalone single “Whatever”. They seemed to have timed its release just right with it being available for the first time just the week before and with the buzz about the band reaching boiling point and judging by the amounts we were selling if it in the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester, it seemed like a shoo-in to me. I was amazed when they were announced at No 3 and cried foul, stating something didn’t smell right. However, there were no such stories of rigging in the papers and media. I clearly was letting my Oasis tinted glasses cloud my judgement.

The Walthamstow boys were rightly crowned the Kings of Christmas and their song has gone into the great cannon of festive tunes. Although we get another studio appearance here, there were actually two promo videos made for the single though I only remember seeing one of them at the time. I assume they were made at the same time but the one I saw back in 1994 was the one of the bend seen laying down the track in a recording studio. The one that we now see every December of the band in oversized, white fur trimmed parkas shot in black and white floating about in a snow storm shocked me when I first saw it as it was many years after 1994 and I’d long since left working in record shops behind. How could I have missed seeing it in all those intervening years?

And that’s a wrap for 1994 here at TOTP Rewind. The shows broadcast on the 15th and 22nd December were pulled from the BBC4 repeats schedule as they both featured Gary Glitter. I’ve checked the running order for those shows though and we’re not missing much. Rednex, Mighty Morph’n Power Rangers, Celine Dion, Zig & Zag…it couldn’t be much worse. They did show the Christmas Day edition hosted by Take That (obviously) but it didn’t feature any hits I hadn’t already commented on and so I’m not regurgitating all that again. I will do my own review of 1994 post (the epilogue) as usual though.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1WhigfieldAnother DayAs if
2PJ & DuncanEternal LoveInfernal racket more like! No!
3Mariah CareyAll I Want For Christmas Is YouNope
4BoyzoneLove Me For A ReasonNo
5Gloria EstefanHold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss MeNah
6EYCOne More ChanceNo chance more like!
7Cliff Richard & Phil EverlyAll I Have To Do Is DreamDidn’t happen
8Jimmy NailCrocodile ShoesI did not
9East 17Stay Another DayAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mwfx/top-of-the-pops-08121994

TOTP 28 JUL 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

It’s back to the regular presenters this week after the distraction of Julian Clary last time out and it’s the revitalised Bruno Brookes in the chair who I’m starting to have a sneaking regard for second time around. I couldn’t stand the bloke in the 80s but 90s Bruno seems more likeable somehow. Maybe it’s just that he isn’t Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo who has been more irritating than dandruff in these TOTP repeats. Maybe I should take the advice of that Hammerstein and Rodgers tune and “Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair”. Well, I’ve got just the thing in the first act on tonight – it’s Shampoo! Don’t worry, I’ll be getting me coat later.

Anyway, I said in the last post I’d take a deeper dive into the story of Jacqui Blake and Carrie Askew so here goes…Like most of us I’m guessing, I wasn’t aware of Shampoo until this hit “Trouble” made the charts but they had already released two singles before that which had received encouraging reviews in the music press but didn’t…ahem…’trouble’ the chart compilers. I found them both on YouTube (they don’t seem to be on Spotify) and they’re definitely spiky of attitude but low on production values. Wikipedia describes them as being typical of the ‘riot grrrl’ movement – I’m not sure I know enough about that particular subculture to make any judgement on that statement but I always thought that bands associated with that scene were a bit more hardcore than our two girls from Plumstead.

Regardless, “Blisters And Bruises” and “Bouffant Headbutt” brought them to the attention of Blur’s record label Food and resulted in the release of the much more radio friendly “Trouble”. The tale of two party girls who’d stayed out too late and missed the night bus home, it was, depending on your point of view, a breath of fresh air to liven up a stagnant chart or just plain dumb. I think I was in the former camp. On reflection though, hadn’t we seen this all before. Whilst there were comparisons made with the bubblegum rock of Transvision Vamp and even the post-punk of The Slits, the most glaringly obvious example was Fuzzbox. An all-girl band with a punk look who released some edgy material on an independent label before being picked up by a major who polished up their sound, image and even their name and turning them into bona fide pop stars. It’s a valid comparison I think.

“Trouble” would rise to No 11 and saw Jacqui and Carrie on the front cover of Smash Hits. Somehow they seemed to have successfully trodden a path between credibility and commerciality. An album (“We Are Shampoo”) duly followed but that’s where the spell appeared to break. Despite doing well in Japan, it stiffed in the UK only making No 45 on the charts. It did furnish two more minor hit singles but “Trouble” would be their defining song, its profile raised by being included on the soundtrack to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers film causing the single to be re-released in 1995 (it made No 36).

Jacqui and Carrie do a pretty good job of selling the song in this performance with the former pioneering the schoolgirl look well before Britney Spears came along. I watched this TOTP with my wife in the room and she said “Trouble” sounded like something from Horrid Henry. She might have a point.

It’s those EYC berks again next. How was it possible that these US boy band lightweights managed to get six UK Top 40 hits? I’ll tell you how – because the charts were completely bonkers when it came to any sort of identity. Just in this week alone you had the following artists all rubbing shoulders with each other:

  • The Prodigy
  • Mariah Carey
  • Michael Ball
  • PJ & Duncan
  • Galliano
  • The Three Tenors
  • The Jesus and Mary Chain
  • Kate Bush and Larry Adler

Pick the bones out of that lot! Not included on that list were our own boy bands in the shape of Take That and Bad Boys Inc which you might have thought fulfilled the boy band quota for one week but no, there was still room for one more and so EYC gladly took that spot. “Black Book” was the fourth of those aforementioned six hits and also the biggest when it peaked at No 13. EYC stood for ‘Express Yourself Clearly’ but with this track, they expressed themselves as clearly wanting to sound like Michael Jackson. Actually, let me express myself more clearly – a third rate, piss poor Michael Jackson impersonator more like. It’s bad to quote the King of Pop himself.

Not this lot again! The problem with having a stagnant chart with lots of records hanging around for ages was that it meant they warranted multiple repeat appearances on TOTP. How many times is this for All 4 One now? Three? Four? They’re showing that live by satellite performance of them walking along the beach while singing “I Swear” this week. The track stayed at No 2 for seven consecutive weeks and would end the year as the UK’s fifth best selling single outperforming a host of No 1 records by the likes of Mariah Carey, Tony Di Bart, Take That and Prince.

The track was originally recorded by country singer Jon Michael Montgomery and it actually makes more sense when done in that style to me. More of a solid song somehow as opposed to the drippy, harmonies-fest that All 4 One turn it into.

And here’s another of those songs that hung around the charts like a particularly eggy fart. Just like All 4 One before them, this must be the third or fourth time on the show for Let Loose. Also just like All 4 One, their single (“Crazy For You”) would end up in the Top 10 of the best selling singles in the UK for 1994 despite never getting to No 1 clocking in at No 8. Their guitarist seemed to still have Chesney Hawkes hair three years on. Even Chezza had given it up as a bad idea by then. Meanwhile, the drummer seemed intent on showing the watching millions that he really had perfected that trick of twirling one drumstick in the air whilst carrying on playing. And the lead singer? He looks like that annoying best looking guy at school who always had girls flirting with him whilst the rest of us spotty herberts looked on enviously. Git.

https://youtu.be/ZVkrduKT61w

If it’s 1994 (or indeed 1993), there must be at least one reggae-infused song on the show every week (I think it was the law) so here’s one we haven’t seen before. “Compliments On Your Kiss” by Red Dragon with Brian and Tony Gold was a mouthful to say but it didn’t stop punters going up to the counter of their record shop of choice and asking for it as it would sell enough copies to go all the way to No 2.

So who were these hitmakers? Well, Red Dragon was Leroy May, a Jamaican DJ who played with a number of sound systems and recorded for King Tubby in the 80s before founding his own label and moving into production. As the 90s rolled around, he returned to recording and collaborated with Sly and Robbie who co-wrote and produced “Compliments On Your Kiss”. As for Brian and Tony Gold, they weren’t actually brothers (real names Brian Thompson and Tony Morrison) who had been working together since competing in Jamaican talent contests in the mid 80s.

Enough of their biographies though, what about the song? Well, on reflection, it sounds like it belongs to another era altogether with its gentle, lilting melody…until Mr Red Dragon himself (I’m assuming that’s him up there on stage) starts toasting and drags it into the 90s. He bangs on about some woman having a sexy body and driving him crazy (how predictable) and even gets in that “number one girl in the world” line that was so prevalent around this time. For some reason it reminds me of that song “Hello Darling” by Tippa Irie from the 80s. Similar vibe. Leroy May died in 2015 aged just 49. “Compliments On Your Kiss” was his only UK chart hit.

It’s The Three Tenors time again who are in the charts with the double A-side single “Libiamo / La Donna E Mobile”. This was of course José Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti but it always seemed that the former two were in the latter’s shadow (no size jokes please). Even Bruno Brookes refers to them as Pavarotti and pals. I guess he was a dominating figure with his frame and beard but I wonder if ‘the other two’ ever felt slighted? They look like they’re all getting on in this performance taken from the 1994 World Cup concert and was that French actor Alain Delon that the camera picks out in the audience at one point?

Oh, what a surprise a reggae/pop crossover song. After Red Dragon earlier, here’s another one from China Black. Maybe it was a legal requirement back then! Is it just me or does “Searching” sound a bit like “Don’t Turn Around” by Aswad and a cover of which was back in the charts at this time courtesy of Ace Of Base? Anyway, as the TOTP caption says, Errol was still working as a town planner while “Searching” was in the charts which got me thinking about how many other pop stars were still holding down ‘normal’ jobs simultaneously? It’s quite a hard category to pin down. There’s plenty of pop stars who had regular jobs before they were famous and also a big list of ex-chart acts who went onto to more mundane careers after the hits dried up but actually holding down a 9-5er whilst in the charts at the same time? Not so easy. One I do know of though is Haircut 100 percussionist Marc Fox who was still working as a German teacher whilst playing with the band and left some exam papers on a British Midland plane whilst flying back from a gig in Scotland.

Which duo’s had more Top 10 hits than The Everly Brothers and Pet Shop Boys? Well, Erasure according to Bruno Brookes in his intro. Was that true? Let’s do a quick bit of counting…

*Checks discographies*

No it bloody isn’t by my adding up! “Run To The Sun” was Erasure’s 14th Top 10 hit up to this point in time. The Everly Brothers had 13 but Pet Shop Boys had 15 – that’s if we’re going on UK Top 10 singles (I haven’t counted hits in every country). I hate it when the TOTP presenters make claims that are best disputed and worst just wrong. As for the song itself, I’d lost touch with Erasure by 1994 and don’t remember this one at all. but then it’s not that memorable. All a bit basic and too linear. All the typical Erasure components are there but it was starting to sound a bit too familiar by then – to me anyway. Sorry guys.

https://youtu.be/aSsj-nYxHUA

It’s nine weeks at No 1 for Wet Wet Wet and “Love Is All Around”. I’m nearly out of things to say and there’s another six weeks to go after this!

OK, how about a reference to the version that appears in Love Actually courtesy of Billy Nighy. What was Richard Curtis thinking?! Well, presumably he thought it worked for me in Four Weddings And A Funeral so I’ll just use it again except this time, as it’s a festive film, I’ll add the word ‘Christmas’ into it. Correct me if I’m wrong but plot wise, isn’t it meant to be an awful rendition of the song and therefore, the fact that it ends up as the Christmas No 1 is a comment on the nation’s bizarre buying habits come December? Mr. Blobby anyone? In that case, why was it released as an actual single in the real world? Was it to construct a perfect example of life imitating art as it did when the single made the Top 30? Or was it just an observation that the good old British public would buy any old shite if it meant getting to see some bloke waving his dick about on telly? For those who haven’t seen the film and who are confused by that last comment, the Bill Nighy character Billy Mack is a fading rock ‘n’ roll star who tries to revive his career with a Christmas record and promises in an interview with Michael Parkinson that if it gets to No 1, he’ll go naked on TV. And that’s me done for this week’s instalment of ‘Finding something to say about Love Is All Around’. Join me next week where I’ll cobble together some more…well…cobblers to say about it.

As has been the case most weeks, it seems head TOTP producer Ric Blaxill was still struggling to know what to do with the play out song section of the show as he searched for a permanent identity for it. He’d already tried showcasing newly released singles that would ultimately end up not making the Top 40 and also doing away with the section altogether by just letting the No 1 play over the credits. This week was another new idea as we got a track from an album that wasn’t released as a single. The album was “The Glory Of Gershwin” which was a tribute album featuring various artists to celebrate the 80th birthday of American harmonica player Larry Adler who was a lifelong friend of George and Ira Gershwin. The album was a massive seller going to No 2 in the charts and included contributions from perhaps what could be described as the usual suspects like Sting, Elton John and the aforementioned Kate Bush whose take on “The Man I Love” was released as a single. However, that isn’t the track that TOTP chose to go with. No, that honour went to “I Got Rhythm” by Robert Palmer even though it was never released as a single. I think Blaxill must have been a bit of a Robert fan as the super smooth singer was on the show earlier in the year with “Girl U Want” which only got as far as No 57. No complaints from me as I like a bit of Palmer now and then but his inclusion here doesn’t seem to help establish the identity of the show.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1ShampooTroubleNo
2EYCBlack bookAs if
3All 4 OneI SwearNope
4Let LooseCrazy For YouNo but my wife did
5Red Dragon with Brian and Tony GoldCompliments On Your Kiss I did not
6The Three TenorsLibiamo / La Donna E MobileNegative
7China BlackSearchingNah
8ErasureRun To The SunIt’s a no from me
9Wet Wet Wet Love Is All AroundDidn’t happen
10Robert PalmerI Got RhythmAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001l56l/top-of-the-pops-28071994

TOTP 12 MAY 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

There was a lot going on in mid May 1994. Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as South Africa’s first black president. Labour leader John Smith died of a heart attack. The British romantic comedy Four Weddings and a Funeral opened in UK cinemas. However, the one event that was dominating my thoughts occurred two days after this TOTP aired. The 1994 FA Cup final was not the best of games and it will probably only be remembered for Man Utd completing their first league and cup double and becoming only the fourth team in the 20th century to do so. For me though, it will always be a painful memory.

Growing up as a Chelsea fan in the late 70s and early 80s was horrible. We were mainly useless and spent five consecutive seasons in the old Second Division and we were hopeless in the cups. The closest we got to cup glory were wins in the Full Members Cup in 1986 and the Zenith Data Systems in 1990. Most people reading this will never have heard of them. Suddenly though, in 1994, we were in the FA Cup final. The actual FA Cup final! Our first time since 1970! I couldn’t have been more excited. I was working in the Our Price in Market Street, Manchester at the time so obviously there were a couple of United fans in amongst my colleagues. I’m pretty sure we all managed to get the Saturday off to watch the game though. I got a couple of friends round to watch the game at our little flat and, with beers at the ready, settled in for the kick off. I should have known that the day was set for disaster when the heavens opened and the rain came down. Where was the glorious sunshine that had always made an appearance during those cup final days of my youth?

Despite the portents of doom provided by the weather, we actually started well and were the better team in the first half. Our talismanic midfielder Gavin Peacock hit the bar. 0-0 at half time. We more than had a chance. The second half remains one of the worst of my life. Three goals conceded in nine minutes (one an awful penalty decision by public schoolteacher David Elleray) destroyed Chelsea and indeed me. We couldn’t even get a consolation goal despite numerous chances. At 4-0 down, I was willing Elleray to blow the full time whistle to put me out of my misery.

In an extraordinary act of self inflicted pain, I was in Manchester city centre the next day seeing off my friends at Piccadilly train station just as the United team were arriving back from London with a huge crowd assembled to welcome their heroes home. I should have run a mile in the opposite direction but somehow I loitered and was spotted by a bunch of Ryan Giggs obsessed young girls who decided I didn’t look like I was enjoying myself enough and asked who I supported. Loyalty to my club took over and I replied “Chelsea” at which point they hurled merciless abuse at me. My disastrous weekend was complete. To add insult to injury, that hateful United record “Come On You Reds” was ubiquitous and went to No 1 the following week and with me working in a record shop, my misery continued for quite some time.

Anyway, that’s enough football talk. This is a music blog isn’t it? Here comes the music then but just before that, I need to acknowledge the host who this week is Jack Dee. This use of celebrity hosts was known as the ‘golden mic’ feature where presenting duties were performed by pop stars, comedians and…well…Chris Eubank. We’d already had Robbie and Mark from Take That and Meatloaf step into the breach and now it was the turn of Dee, making him the first non-music related host. Jack had been a name for a couple of years by this point with his own show having first aired in 1992. That, allied to his starring in the ‘No nonsense’ John Smith’s beer adverts, had helped cement his dour personality and sardonic humour in the minds of the public. As such, the TOTP audience had a decent idea of what to expect from Dee who could almost have been a natural successor to John Peel.

So, to the music, if you can call it that as tonight’s opening act are American R&B chancers EYC. How this lot ever amounted to anything more than one hit single is beyond me. What’s this one called? “Number One”? Ha! Fat chance! Or should I say flat chance as their vocals here are like the proverbial pancake. They also sound completely breathless (in their defence, I suppose they are jumping around like loons for the entirety of the performance). The track is basically a backbeat with some suggestive lyrics over the top of it. Just awful. Next!

We’ll come to the next act in just a sec but for the moment, I want to talk about Jack Dee again and give him some deserved credit for him calling out the inane displays of the Radio 1 DJs who have hosted the show (yes, I mean you Simon Mayo).

“Yes, I am presenting Top of the Pops because I’m a comedian and if you think that’s a bad idea, then what about all the DJs who keep trying to tell jokes” Dee deadpans. You nailed it Jack.

Back to the music and it’s that Joe Roberts bloke again. Just who was this guy and why was he on TOTP so much? Well, his Wikipedia entry, like the size of his hits, is pretty small. As the TOTP caption says, he’s from Manchester and he had three Top 40 hits, one of which was this song “Back In My Life”. This was a rerelease – it made No 59 first time around – and despite this exposure on the show, couldn’t get any higher than its peak this week of No 39. Not surprising really as it’s the musical equivalent of narcolepsy. Totally soporific. Joe himself is like a combination of Curtis Stigers and Vic Reeves’s club singer. Dear oh dear. Next!

Now, here’s a band about to enjoy arguably the biggest year of their career. In 1994, East 17 would release a double platinum album and three hit singles the last of which would become the Christmas No 1 and become a nice little pension pot for its songwriter Tony Mortimer. The first of those singles though was “All Around The World”, the lead single from second album “Steam” and absolutely nothing to do with the Oasis song of the same name. For me, East 17 had hit the ground running with their debut single, the frenetic “House Of Love” but then stumbled with the lacklustre follow up “Gold” before regaining their balance with the super slick “Deep”. However, the subsequent two singles “Slow It Down” and the misguided cover of Pet Shop Boys’ “West End Girls” were more potholes in the road before they really got into their stride with the sublime “It’s Alright”.

This new single harked backed to the sound of “Deep” though it wasn’t as good and felt like it had been written specifically to be a Top 5 hit. Nothing wrong with that I guess and the plan worked when it got to No 3 but there was something a little bit cynical about it, as if their record label had really taken control of these pop urchins and wanted to push them up a bit. The video for the track also gives the impression that the boys have had their urban wrinkles ironed out. It’s all a bit too…sophisticated? Is that the right word?

Parent album “Steam” was released in the October and the Our Price chain had a preview CD of it to be played instore but it had Radio 1 DJ Mark Goodier talking in between the tracks. Bah! Despite this, I took the freebie promo home when the actual album came out for my wife who’d bought the first album. We had it for ages without ever playing it I think but I’m guessing it got lost/disposed of following a couple of flat and house moves. In short, it didn’t follow us ‘all around the world’. It’s OK, my coat is already in my hand.

Meanwhile, back in the studio, we find Gloworm with the second (and biggest) of their two chart hits “Carry Me Home”. It had been nearly two years since this lot combined house and gospel music to create a dancefloor banger in “I Lift My Cup (To The Spirit Divine)” but now they were back with a tune that sounded…exactly the same. Well, it does to my ears but then they’re not bpm refined so I probably don’t know what I’m talking about.

As it’s got a gospel bent to it, obviously the staging for the performance has singer Sedric Johnson in a pulpit and the backing singers all have those full length community choir smocks on. I suppose a Kenny Everett Brother Lee Love big hands get up would have been a bit too over the top? “Carry Me Home” peaked at No 9.

https://youtu.be/iis2rBhKen8

Bollers is back! Yes, Michael Bolton is on the show again for no discernible reason. Well, yes obviously he’s on to plug his latest single, his cover of the Bill Withers tune “Lean On Me” but is his appearance justified? Well, he is a new entry at No 15 having been an exclusive performance two weeks earlier so what do you think? Is that reason enough? You’re right of course. There’s never any justification nor need for Michael Bolton on our TV screens and I say that as someone who saw him in concert by mistake! No, I’m not going into that particular story again! It’s in the archives if you must read about it.

I have a good friend who I met when I first worked for Our Price back in 1990. Steve’s from Bolton and everyone in the shop referred to him as Steve Bolton or just Bolton on account of his accent. When I first started working with him I assumed his surname was actually Bolton as I never heard anyone refer to his actual surname which is Wilson. Well, you know. If there could be a Michael Bolton then why not a Steve Bolton? One day, someone rang the shop asking for Steve Wilson. I answered the phone and confidently replied that there was nobody of that name that worked there but that there was a Steve Bolton. After much talking at cross purposes, confusion and to the hilarity of my colleagues, Steve was eventually put on the phone. Actually, Michael Bolton isn’t even Michael Bolton’s real name which is Michael Bolotin. Probably not enough difference between that and his stage name to cause Steve Wilson levels of perplexity though.

Two people now who also go by monikers that aren’t actually their real names. We all know that Elton John was originally named Reg Dwight but I’m not sure I knew that Marcella Detroit is actually Marcella Levy and that she’s from Detroit. They’ve come together to cover the classic Motown duet originally performed by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell “Ain’t Nothing Like The Real Thing”. Their take on it was obviously on Elton’s “Duets” album as were his last two single releases with Kiki Dee and RuPaul. It also ended up on Marcella’s “Jewel” album and I have to say I don’t recall it at all. Hardly surprising since it only spent three weeks inside the Top 40 and didn’t get any higher than No 24. It doesn’t seem to add much to the original I have to say.

Elton and Marcella appear to be having an earring-off in the TOTP studio with the former sporting a single cross-shaped one up against the latter’s Bet Lynch style massive ring. I make Marcella the winner in this particular battle. She’s also got a much superior voice to Elton (and this was before he turned into Foghorn Leghorn).

Marcella would return to the Top 40 one more time as a solo artist before going on to appear in ITV’s Pop Star To Opera Star and reforming Shakespear’s Sister in 2019 with Siobhan Fahey. Elton, meanwhile, would score two further hits in 1994 with “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and “Circle Of Life” both from The Lion King soundtrack.

When I started reviewing these TOTP repeats, I began with the year 1983 and back then many a show was not rebroadcast due to problematic presenters in the wake of Operation Yewtree. Others were pulled due to the late Radio 1 DJ Mike Smith not signing the licence extension to allow the BBC to air any shows that he presented. At the time, many in the TOTP fanbase questioned why the BBC didn’t just edit the presenters out rather than just not broadcast the show at all. Well, they’ve done some retrospective editing for this one but it’s nothing to do with the host, the marvellous Jack Dee. In the light of R Kelly’s conviction for racketeering, child pornography and enticing a minor, his performance of “Your Body’s Callin’” has been removed.

This weeks ‘exclusive’ performance comes from a cultural icon whose career just goes to show that not everything can be measured in sales and commercial success. Iggy Pop is surely one of the most recognisable and memorable rock stars of all time and yet, despite having recorded some classic songs during his career of over 50 (!) years, has hardly any chart hits to his name. His only appearance in the UK Top 40 by the time of this TOTP appearance had been seven years prior when his version of “Real Wild Child (Wild One)” had made No 10. I know – it seems unbelievable. What about all those other iconic songs like “Lust For Life” and “The Passenger”? Surely they were hits? Well, yes they were but not when they were originally released. The former was a hit in 1996 after featuring prominently in Trainspotting whilst the latter made the Top 40 after being used in a Toyota car advert in 1998. “China Girl”? Nope, although obviously co-writer David Bowie had a huge hit with it in 1983. His work with The Stooges? Afraid not. Despite all of the above, Iggy’s stature as the ‘Godfather of Punk’ remained undimmed and TOTP producer Ric Blaxill wasn’t going to let the chance of an in person appearance pass him by.

“Beside You” was taken from Iggy’s “American Caesar” album which came with the parental warning sticker ‘This is an Iggy Pop record’. It’s a nice enough slice of melodic rock but according to reviews, the track isn’t really representative of the rest of the album which I have to own up to having never heard. It was co-written by ex-Sex Pistol Steve Jones in 1985 for Iggy’s “Blah-Blah-Blah” album but never made the cut. When record label Virgin heard “American Caesar”, they gave Iggy the classic “we can’t hear a single” line and so “Beside You” was retrieved from the demo archive. Iggy is joined onstage here by multi-instrumentalist Lisa Germano who’s worked with everyone from John Mellencamp to David Bowie to Neil Finn. So, did this TOTP exposure propel Iggy to a rare UK hit? No, of course not. It peaked at No 47.

Oh, one final thing. When I first started working at the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester, the walls in the gents loo were covered in graffiti where employees past and present had come up with toilet humour based around music artists. There was Deacon Poo, Kenny Log-gins, Ruthless Crap Assassins but my favourite by far was Iggy Plop.

https://youtu.be/wr9yqbbKT6w

There’s a new No 1 and it’s from Stiltskin courtesy of that Levi’s ad. And that means…it’s time for my Stiltskin story. Sometime in 1994, we had some some friends to stay at our flat in Manchester. It may have been around October time as we moved flat from No 47 to No 43 on our road around that time and we may have roped in our friends to help with the move (you still have to put everything in boxes and move them you know!).

Anyway, my wife had a works do to go to on that weekend so I was left to entertain our friends with a night out in Manchester. We were all in our mid 20s at this point so we could just about get away with going to a nightclub – so we did. Me, Robin, Susan and the aforementioned Steve ended up at an indie night in Fifth Avenue nightclub. We’d had enough drink to embolden us to strut our stuff on the dancefloor to some banging indie tunes for the whole night. As we got to the wee small hours and the club was winding down, me and Robin were still at it. The place was full of dry ice and obviously dark so we weren’t overly aware of our surroundings. As it happened, Stiltskin’s “Inside” was played as the last song of the night and as the lights came up and the dry ice cleared, Robin and I were faced with the horrifying truth that we were the only people left on the dancefloor…and we were dancing to Stiltskin – a made up band who’s were only briefly famous because of a jeans advert and whose singer would end up in Genesis for a while. We try not to talk about it but we both know it happened.

https://youtu.be/kpfWisNlHnQ

The play out tune is another dance anthem by someone called Maxx. I have zero memory of “Get-A-Way” despite it getting to No 4 in the charts. If only my memory was as discerning when it came to forgetting things like your team getting stuffed 4-0 in the FA Cup final or dancing to Stiltskin.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1EYCNumber OneAs if
2Joe RobertsBack In My LifeNo
3East 17All Around The WorldNo but I had that promo CD of the album
4GlowormCarry Me HomeNah
5Michael BoltonLean On MeNever happening
6Elton John / Marcella DetroitAin’t Nothing Like The Real ThingI did not
7Iggy PopBeside YouNope
8StiltskinInsideDanced to it, never bought it
9MaxxGet-A-WayAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001k2r1/top-of-the-pops-12051994

TOTP 03 MAR 1994

Posted on by 80stastic

There’s some veritable veterans of UK music history on the show tonight in amongst all the shiny new pop kids. Sadly, we’ve also got an old timer as host who is Simon ‘Smug’ Mayo returning for his third appearance in five episodes since new producer Ric Blaxill brought back the Radio 1 DJs.

We start with 2 Unlimited who could hardly be classed as a seasoned chart act having first appeared on our charts a mere two and a half years prior but in that time they certainly packed in the hits. “Let The Beat Control Your Body” was their ninth UK hit of which all but two went Top 10. However, by 1994 the formula was starting to flounder and the hold Anita and Ray had on UK record buyers’ habits was starting to wear off. After this single made No 6, they would only return to our Top 10 once more and click up just five more Top 40 entries by the end of the decade.

I’m not sure what this performance is all about though. Are the backing dancers meant to be aliens? If so, why? I think the costumes they’re wearing are meant to be the ones that give the effect of fluorescent stripes moving independently when the person wearing it is obscured in darkness but the studio lights are far too bright and ruin any potential effect. Meanwhile, Anita seems to have styled herself on Betty Boo’s space cadet look from 1990. Interestingly, the single was renamed as “Let The Bass Control Your Body” for release in France as the word ‘beat’ sounded very similar to the French word ‘bite’ (pronounced beet). So? Well, ‘une bite’ is French slang for penis, similar to ‘cock’ or ‘dick’ in English. Sacre bleu!

https://youtu.be/UqDxtiAtCtA

The first of those veterans next. Elvis Costello hadn’t had a UK Top 40 hit for five years before this track – “Sulky Girl” – made No 22 in the charts. This was the lead single from his “Brutal Youth” album which saw Costello reunite with members of his band the Attractions for the first time since 1986. Critically well received and seen as a return to form by the fanbase, the album would go all the way to No 2 in the charts, Costello’s highest chart placing since “Get Happy!!” In 1980.

“Sulky Girl” is a good tune in my book but it still wasn’t up there with those early New Wave classics though my wife may disagree as a big Costello fan. Eight months on from this TOTP, we were at the Manchester Opera House to see Elvis on tour. He played a whopping 27 song set (including “Sulky Girl”) and was supported by a then unknown band called Cast, the members of whom were a few rows in front of us to catch the Costello show after they’d finished their slot.

After enduring 2 Unlimited at the top of the show, Costello’s appearance here is both welcome and an outlier. He seems completely at odds with the charts and indeed is on record as saying he felt the success of “Sulky Girl” was more down to record company Warner’s promotion campaign rather than the commercial appeal of the song.

He would end the decade with a collaboration with the sadly recently departed Burt Bacharach and a cover of Charles Aznavour’s “She” from the film Notting Hill. The latter is a perfect vehicle for Costello’s distinctive voice although its rise to the status of one of his most well known hits potentially undermines his back catalogue it seems to me.

https://youtu.be/e6LWWASqT88

Wait. What?! This is still in the charts? Yes, yes it is. “Breathe Again” by Toni Braxton spent a very impressive eight weeks in the Top 10 alone even managing to move back up it from No 5 to No 4 after it had seemingly peaked at No 2. It literally breathed again (ahem) in terms of its chart life. The performance here is a repeat of that live by satellite one from America where Toni performs to a non existent audience in an empty theatre that was originally broadcast a few shows prior.

https://youtu.be/Pp_OMu3top0

Simon Mayo had a special talent for coming up with one liners in his intros that were so unfunny that even if you heard them whilst under the influence of Nitrous Oxide/ laughing gas then you still wouldn’t crack a smile. The latest nugget from the Mayo repertoire saw Smug Simon trying to make a quip about confusing the name of the next artist with the “Ealing Young Conservatives”. It’s not even that they weren’t funny but they were totally stupid to boot. EYC was actually an acronym for ‘Express Yourself Clearly’ but hey, why let the truth get in the way of a bad joke? “The Way You Work It” was the US trio’s second UK hit single after “Feelin’ Alright” the year before and was more of the same, over enthusiastic, anodyne R&B/pop hybrid. It really was astounding that they managed six Top 40 hits between’93 and ‘95 with such a weak appeal.

Back to that name though and although we’ve clarified what it meant, the band themselves didn’t practice what they preached. The cover of their debut album called “Express Yourself Clearly” included its title printed upside down. Hardly communicating clearly that is it? “The Way You Work It” peaked at No 14.

Mention the name Tucker to many people of my age and you’ll likely illicit memories of Grange Hill and Todd Carty as Tucker Jenkins. Or possibly if your references are a little bit more niche, Wolfie’s cowardly mate Tucker from Citizen Smith. Barbara Tucker though? She hadn’t managed to usurp either of those two in my memory banks. It turns out that Barbara is quite the all rounder though. As well as being a singer, she’s also a songwriter and choreographer and has worked with the likes of Deee-Lite, George Clinton, David Guetta and C+C Music Factory. Apparently she clocked up five UK hit singles starting with this one “Beautiful People” which is revered as a bit of a house anthem it seems. So why don’t I remember it? Oh yeah, I don’t really like house music, that’ll be it. Sorry Barbara.

There’s three Breakers this week starting with Mötley Crüe and a track called “Hooligan’s Holiday”. These California rockers were a much bigger deal in their homeland* than they were here where they were very occasional and meek visitors to our charts. They’d had only five UK chart entries to this point, none of which got any higher than No 23. The only songs of theirs I could have named were “Girls, Girls, Girls” and “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” neither of which I liked. “Hooligan’s Holiday” was never going to convert me.

*They even had a biopic made of them in 2019 called The Dirt which was released on Netflix.

As Simon Mayo states in his intro, this was the first Mötley Crüe material after lead singer Vince Neil had been fired from/quit the band (depending on who’s version of events you believe) and was replaced by John Corabi. The eponymously titled album that he recorded with the band was their first not do the business commercially resulting in their record company refusing to fund any further albums unless Corabi was removed and Neil reinstated. There was only ever going to be one outcome – Corabi was gone and Neil returned to the fold. The band are still together (somehow) touring for the first time in seven years in 2022 as co-headliners with Def Leppard.

Now it’s Beck who we saw in the studio the other week but this time, as he’s officially a Breaker now, it’s his video for “Loser”. Shot on a budget of just $300 plus $14,000 to edit and master it, it certainly has a homemade feel to it. There’s a moment in it where Beck is wearing a stormtrooper helmet which is censored by pixelation due to copyright reasons. I guess there wasn’t any capacity in such a small budget for potential litigation costs.

The song’s lyrics may be nonsensical but that hadn’t stoped it being used for educational purposes. I have a friend who’s a teacher that used it as the source material for a school assembly to promote self confidence and a positive attitude in her students. “Loser” peaked at No 15 in the UK and No 10 in America.

I guess Michael Bolton was a music veteran even in 1994. He was 41 when this TOTP aired and had been releasing music for nearly 20 years though most of us in the UK hadn’t heard of him before his 1990 breakthrough song “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You”. This single – “Soul Of My Soul” – was not just a terrible song title but also his twelfth UK hit. Now twelve sounds quite impressive but his numbers were not great. Since that first hit that went to No 3, Bollers had only managed two further Top 10 hits and one of those was a cover version (Percy Sledge’s “When A Man Loves A Woman”). He would manage one further trip to the hallowed upper echelons with the creepily titled single “Can I Touch You…There?” that made No 6 in 1995. He has not been back there since and quite right too.

Sadly, Michael Bolton’s appearance here gave Simon Mayo the chance to get in another pointless comment. “Michael Bolton One Villa Nil” he toots referring to the result of an FA Cup fifth round tie played nearly two weeks before this TOTP aired. Why did he think this stuff was funny?

Another of those elder statesmen of music now as Mark E Smith joins forces with Inspiral Carpets on a face blistering track called “I Want You”. Now, whilst I can appreciate the legacy of The Fall and their place in musical history, I’ve never been a great fan of the actual music. I think I always found it difficult to get along with Mark E Smith’s voice. And yes, I know that opinion is musical heresy to many people out there. I just struggle with the inflections he puts on everything – the “-ahs” that seemed to follow every line he sings especially. On this relentless track though, his idiosyncrasies are perfect. The sonic power on display here is something to behold as it lays seige to your aural capacities. The difference between it and previous single “Saturn 5” defies the notion that they were all about Clint Boon’s farfisa organ.

Mark E Smith looks like he gives zero f***s that he’s on TOTP as he wanders belligerently around the stage, sometimes referring to a piece of paper that presumably had some lyrics on it though I’m guessing he could have sang anything here and nobody would have challenged him on it. Someone certainly not going to challenge him on anything was Simon Mayo who declines the opportunity to make some barbed witticism in his link by just saying “Right…OK…thank you boys”. Not so smug now eh Mayo?

“I Want You” would peak at No 18 making it the band’s third biggest hit ever and one year on from the single’s release, it was used to soundtrack a Sony In Car Stereo advert to great effect.

And so to another old timer (though he was only 34 at the time of this broadcast). According to Simon Mayo he hadn’t been on TOTP for many years though by my calculation he was on as recently as 1992. Is two years many years? I think not. Morrissey (for it is he) was bang in form in 1994. This single – “The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get” – was the lead track from his fourth studio album “Vauxhall And I” which would prove to be his first chart topper since his debut “Viva Hate” in 1988. Indeed, TMYIMTCIG would become his first Top 10 single since “Interesting Drug” in 1989. However, no other singles released from the album made the Top 40 so was this a devoted fanbase at work desperate for new material? Fair play though, it’s a good song with a lovely, lilting chorus.

I wonder if new TOTP producer Ric Blaxill was aware of the tension between Morrissey and Mark E Smith when he booked both Manchester legends on the same show? Many people had fallen foul of Smith’s ire over the years including Mozza whom Smith always referred to as “Steven”. Oh to have been a fly on the wall of the Green Room/BBC bar for this show!

https://youtu.be/ucJfUTQWFHQ

There’s no shifting Mariah Carey from the No 1 spot as her version of Nilsson’s “Without You” stands strong at the top. It will go onto sell half a million copies and end up the 7th biggest selling single of 1993 in the UK. It would be Mariah’s only solo* chart topper over here until “All I Want For Christmas Is You” finally made No 1 in 2020 after years of trying.

*She did get to No 1 in 2000 when she joined forces with Westlife to cover “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins.

One of Ric Blaxill’s innovations for the show was to use the No 1 record slot to make predictions about which records would be entering the Top 40 the following week. These were displayed in a scrolling ticker tape along the bottom of the screen. Looking at the artists posited on this show, it hardly made TOTP a musical Nostradamus. All very obvious stuff (M People, Janet Jackson etc). That doesn’t stop Mr Smug himself from praising the show by saying all of last week’s predictions came true in his intro. Mayo really was insufferable.

The play out song this week comes from Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine. Somebody on Twitter pointed out that “Glam Rock Cops” sounds an awful lot like “Parklife” by Blur. I think they may have a point although there’s no suggestion of plagiarism on either side as they were presumably written and recorded at roughly the same time? I think another artist beat them both to it by about 10 years anyway. “Steamhammer Sam” by Intaferon sounds like a “Parklife” prototype…

“Glam Rock Cops” peaked at No 24 and came from a collection of B-sides called “Starry Eyed And Bollock Naked”.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
12 UnlimitedLet The Beat Control Your BodyOf course not
2Elvis CostelloSulky GirlYes I did! For my wife though.
3Toni BraxtonBreathe AgainNope
4EYCThe Way You Work ItNever
5Barbara TuckerBeautiful PeopleNah
6Mötley CrüeHooligan’s HolidayNo
7Beck LoserLiked it, didn’t buy it
8Michael BoltonSoul Of My SoulAs if
9Inspiral Carpets / Mark E SmithI Want YouNot the single but I have it on their Greatest Hits CD
10MorrisseyThe More You Ignore Me, The Closer I GetNegative
11Mariah CareyWithout YouIt’s a no
12Carter The Unstoppable Sex MachineGlam Rock CopsAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001hyxl/top-of-the-pops-03031994

TOTP 23 DEC 1993

Posted on by 80stastic

It’s nearly Christmas. Well, yes that’s hardly news I know but I’m talking about Christmas twenty-nine years ago as per the BBC4 TOTP repeats schedule which has arrived at the festive period in 1993. I was working in the Our Price store in Altrincham at the time and so if I watched this episode then I would have done so in the knowledge that the following day was perhaps the busiest of the whole retail year. Given my experience of Christmas Eve in the Rochdale store the previous year, I wouldn’t have been looking forward to it. You could say there was a distinct lack of festive cheer from the punters or to put it another way, they tore lumps out of us. Rude, aggressive and if we told them that we’d sold out of Gloria Estefan’s Greatest Hits on cassette (we had), they reacted as if we’d told their three year old child that Father Christmas didn’t exist. As such, I wasn’t looking forward much to the 24th December. I wonder which songs were in the charts that I might have been flogging to Christmas stressed customers?

We start with a song that would reach its chart peak the following year which is why I associate “Come Baby Come” by K7 with 1994 rather than 1993. The last time this was on TOTP in the Breakers section, I commented on how its lyrics were full of innuendo so I was expecting a very risqué studio performance full of explicit, sexually charged dance moves. However, whilst Mr K7 (real name Louis Sharpe) and his three backing singers/dancers are next level slick, I didn’t notice too many moves that would have had the TOTP producers panicking. Bizarrely though, at one point the main man pulls out one that appears to be replicating him washing his armpits in the shower with his microphone substituting for a bar of soap! He then follows it up with a Jarvis Cocker Michael Jackson baiting bum waft – not sure if that qualifies as explicit or just plain silly. “Come Baby Come” would peak at No 3 in the UK.

https://youtu.be/v5QlvbrJyIo

The Bee Gees are up to No 4 with “For Whom The Bell Tolls” giving them their highest chart placing since their No 1 “You Win Again” in 1987. The song’s title references the phrase originally written by metaphysical poet John Donne and the novel by Ernest Hemingway but there was another band that beat the Gibb brothers to using it to name a song by nearly a decade. I have to admit to not having a clue that this track even existed before now but exist it does and it comes from one of the biggest rock bands ever. Metallica (for it is they) recorded a track called “For Whom The Bell Tolls” for their second album “Ride The Lightning” in 1984. In the name of musical exploration, I listened to it earlier and guess what? It did absolutely nothing for me! Lots of crunching rock guitar and strangulated vocals does not make yours truly a happy boy. Apparently the song is a huge fan favourite but seeing as I’m not a Metallica fan, that influences me as much as Rishi Sunak telling me that he cares about the working class (ooh, bit of politics there as Ben Elton used to say).

Anyway, the rather surprising success of the Bee Gees song meant that the group now had a UK Top 5 single in four consecutive decades (the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s) – that’s approaching Cliff Richard levels of chart achievement. They would even bag themselves two more before the decade was out. Quite remarkable.

Now here’s a curious but rather charming Christmas tune. This seemed to come out of nowhere just as the big day approached but maybe it was released too late to make any real impression on the Top 40. Certainly its chart peak of No 37 seems to reflect that. Or maybe it was just too out of leftfield for the mainstream Christmas market with its non traditional shoppers for whom the festive season is the only time they would venture into a record shop all year looking for Cliff Richard or that nice Elton John and Kiki Dee song or even the Bee Gees. It was unlikely their shopping list included the record by Saint Etienne and the bloke from The Charlatans.

I’d forgotten that “I Was Born On Christmas Day” was actually just one song from a four track EP called (rather bluntly) “Xmas 93” but it was the only one to feature the now national treasure that is Tim Burgess. The other tracks included a Billy Fury cover and two instrumentals none of which I’ve ever heard as the lead song was presumably the only one played.

As Christmas tunes go, it’s an odd one but pretty groovy. Mostly devoid of the usual festive music baubles (sleigh bells, references to Santa Claus, snow, trees, presents etc), it instead has a driving house beat and an unusual melody. In fact, apart from its title which is sung on repeat in the coda, there’s very little to distinguish it’s a Christmas song. The lyrics seem to be about someone missing their absent partner throughout the course of the year awaiting their return at Christmas and thinking of everything that has happened in the world they left behind whilst away.

Tim Burgess and Sarah Cracknell have definite chemistry up there on stage, holding hands, draping a shared feather boa around each other’s shoulders…is there even a little kiss between them at one point? Well, the lyrics do refer to a Tim and Sarah tying the knot!

As host Mark Franklin says in his intro, 1993 had been a great year for Saint Etienne with a Top 10 album (“So Tough”) and their highest ever charting single (to that point) in “You’re In A Bad Way”. The Charlatans on the other hand failed to release any material but would return in 1994 with their own Top 10 album “Up To Our Hips” and the excellent single “Can’t Get Out Of Bed”. As for “I Was Born In Christmas Day”, you don’t hear it that often on the radio despite its obvious time slot each year. Incidentally, neither Tim nor Sarah were actually born on Christmas Day though Saint Etienne’s Bob Stanley was. Other rock/pop stars born on the 25th December include Annie Lennox, Dido and Shane MacGowan whilst Lemmy came into the world on Christmas Eve.

https://youtu.be/7bkD035IpzI

One of the nastiest things about 1993 (amongst many) was the breakthrough success of the revolting Shabba Ranks. After a rereleased “Mr Loverman” took him to No 3, there was a small procession of follow up singles in its wake of which “Family Affair” was the third. Pretty much a remake of the Sly And The Family Stone classic with some rapping and toasting over the top (including inevitably a few shouts of ‘Shabba!’), this was from the soundtrack to the Addams Family Values film. I’d quite enjoyed the silly but likeable “Addams Groove” by Hammer from the original 1991 The Addams Family film but this was just horrible. It featured Patra, Terri and Monica (I’ve no idea) and made No 18 in the charts but I’m glad to say I don’t remember it at all – I’ve never seen any of the Addams Family films either. Shabba Ranks would only have one more UK Top 40 hit after this. Good riddance to his homophobic ass!

https://youtu.be/uByYfM2AcfI

Dina Carroll now with “The Perfect Year”, a single that perfectly encapsulates her annus mirabilis. One of the comments most made by people commenting on the Twitter hashtag #TOTP during the 1993 repeats has been “Whatever happened to Dina Carroll?” and it’s a fair question. After this single, we didn’t hear any new material from her for nearly three years. When it did arrive, it was successful but just not anywhere near as much as her earlier stuff. Debut album “So Close” went four times platinum. By comparison, the follow up “Only Human” sold a quarter of that; not insubstantial by any measure but a definite decline. Why did it take so long for that sophomore album to appear? Well, she suffered from burn out after that initial runaway success and took a break from touring and recording and when she returned she walked into a contract mess. The guy who signed her for A&M had left for Mercury Records but his new label weren’t keen on him taking Dina with him initially. By the time it was all resolved and Dina’s first single on Mercury appeared (“Escaping”), it was 1996!

Her new label seemed unsure what to do with her – was she a slick, soul balladeer or a club diva? Or both? She’d successfully straddled both camps with her eclectic debut album but somehow Mercury didn’t seem reassured by that. A third album was never released and a case of otosclerosis (hereditary bone disease of the ear) was clearly not helpful for a recording artist. As the millennium dawned, Dina just seemed to disappear. A Best Of album fulfilled her contractual obligations to Mercury in 2001 and her only release since then was 2016’s “We Bring The Party” with the Dig Band.

Meanwhile, back in 1993, Dina became the only British female artist to have two simultaneous Top 10 hits during the whole of the decade. In the week 12th to 18th December, “Don’t Be A Stranger” was at No 8 whilst “The Perfect Year” was at No 10. I think I’m right in saying A&M had deleted the former to make way for the latter so we had loads of the No 10 but hardly any of the No 8. Funny the things you remember isn’t it?

https://youtu.be/STvZNiPbNB4

Even though this is officially the Christmas chart, there are still room for a couple of Breakers. One though is utterly dreadful and the other is last year’s Christmas No 1! Yes, despite being the best selling single in the UK of 1992, it’s back in the Top 40 twelve months on. I refer, of course, to Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You”. Now remember that the charts were a different beast back then to the one that functions (sort of) these days. You couldn’t just get a song (any song) into the charts via a concerted social media campaign by coercing people into streaming it loads. It had to be officially released which means that “I Will Always Love You”, despite its ubiquity over the last twelve months, must have been rereleased. Why would that have happened? Well, it was all to do with the VHS of The Bodyguard coming out in November of this year.

This was such a big marketing event back then that it presumably made perfect sense to record label Arista to give the soundtrack and the most famous single from it another promotional push. As a result, “I Will Always Love You” managed a peak of No 25 the second time around. Of course, this wasn’t an entirely new phenomenon. In 1985, both “Last Christmas” by Wham! and “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid returned to the charts after being the festive No 2 and No 1 respectively the year before. Even so though, it did feel like overkill.

Now to that second and abhorrent Breaker. Probably long forgotten as the other novelty record in the chart of Christmas 1993, overshadowed by the spotted, pink dickhead at No 1 but the combination of Hulk Hogan and Green Jellÿ doing a cover of “I’m The Leader Of The Gang” is potentially even more heinous than the blobby one’s effort, given what we now know about Gary Glitter. Hulk Hogan had been a wrestling star throughout the 80s with his 1988 WWF match with Andre the Giant holding the record for the highest TV audience for wrestling ever. In 1993, Hogan broke away from WWF to sign for rival federation WCW which maybe is the reason for this single release? Bit of promotion for WCW? After all, the WWF Superstars had bagged themselves two UK hit singles in the past twelve months so…

Green Jellÿ had achieved the same chart feat with two hits of their own in 1993 with “Three Little Pigs” and “Anarchy In The UK” and it was they that Hogan was paired with to deliver this execrable record. I mean, it’s literally unlistenable. Who the hell bought enough copies to take it to No 25?

The penultimate tune before we get to the Christmas No 1 comes from EYC. This lot of chancers were put together to take the US by storm but did diddly squat over there. They did, however, gain moderate chart success both here and in Australia. Debut hit “Feelin’ Alright” reached No 16 but listening to it back now, it just sounds like a lot of horrible shouting. Maybe I’m just too middle aged to be able to engage with this sort of stuff now but I probably felt the same about it nearly thirty years ago.

They were the first act to win the Best Roadshow Act award at the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party but that sounds like an award that was designed purely for them to win – a bit like the award I got from my works 5-a-side team for Most Improved Player (a back handed compliment if there ever was one). They also picked up six UK Top 40 singles during their brief career so I fear we may not have seen the last of them by a long chalk.

“So this is Christmas and what have you done?” sang John Lennon and in 1993 this line rang truer than ever for it was indeed Christmas and what the British public had done was to make Mr Blobby the festive chart topper. How on earth could we have let this happen?! I’d foolishly believed that the “Mr Blobby” single had peaked too early after being No 1 two weeks ago but the deposed chart topper somehow rallied and regained the crown just in time to be announced as the Christmas No 1. How often did that sort of chart trajectory occur? Apparently “She Loves You” by The Beatles was No 1 for four weeks in 1963 before dropping down for a whole seven weeks and then miraculously returning to the top for a further two weeks. The Fab Four then knocked themselves off the pinnacle with “I Want To Hold Your Hand”. So not without precedent but that was The f*****g Beatles we’re talking about not some tit in a pink latex suit! Aaaarrrgh!!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1K7Come Baby ComeI did not
2Bee GeesFor Whom The Bell TollsNah
3Saint Etienne and Tim BurgessI Was Born On Christmas DayProbably should have but no
4Shabba Ranks with Patra, Terri and MonicaFamily AffairNever happening
5Dina CarrollThe Perfect YearNope
6Whitney HoustonI Will Always Love YouNot the first nor second time
7Hulk Hogan and Green Jellÿ I’m The Leader Of The GangAs if
8EYCFeeling’ AlrightNo
9Mr BlobbyMr BlobbyDid I bollocks!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001g4xh/top-of-the-pops-23121993

TOTP 16 DEC 1993

Posted on by 80stastic

To paraphrase Frankie Valli, here at TOTP Rewind it’s mid December back in ‘93 and very much like the temperatures in 2022, I recall it being very cold. I was working in the Our Price store in Altrincham and travelling there from Manchester every day by a bus and then a tram. As such, it was an early start and I have a distinct memory of standing next to the radiator in our little flat not wanting to go outside to start the commute. The radio was playing “Babe” by Take That which didn’t help my mood as it brought to mind the song’s video which had lots of snow themed scenes including Mark Owen wandering around in what appeared to be Russia looking for his former lover in a bit of a blizzard. Aside from the cold, the work days were long and busy as this was a time before streaming where you had to physically go out to a record shop and buy a CD or cassette if you wanted an album or single. We packed so many customers into that little shop on George Street that at times it felt like the floor would collapse*.

*That did happen once when I was working in the Rochdale Our Price. A floor tile just cracked one day to reveal a gaping hole underneath. Just one of the many mishaps that occurred during my retail years including a man walking through the window which he mistook for the door, the shop’s fuse box starting to smoke, alarm call outs in the middle of the night, blocked toilets, failed central heating systems etc etc.

Despite all of the above, I was loving my time in Altrincham to the extent that me and my wife even contemplated moving there and even looked around a flat or two. Fortunately, we never made that move as in the first couple of weeks after Christmas came the word from area management that I was being moved again. I wouldn’t get back to Altrincham for five years. Enough of my personal life though, which songs were those busy shoppers snapping up as the big day approached…

If your hear the names Chaka Demus and Pliers, what immediately comes to mind? Apart from the ridiculousness of that second name obviously. For me it’s 1993 and their hit “Tease Me” and yet that No 2 (in more ways than one) was eclipsed by this single, their version of “Twist And Shout”. Somehow though, it seems to have escaped my memory banks despite it going to No 1 one in early ‘94. Maybe it’s because there have been so many different releases of this perennial song. I’m guessing most of us know it from The Beatles take on it in 1963 but it was very first recorded before them by The Top Notes. The first time it was a hit was when The Isley Brothers took it into the charts in 1962. Brian Poole and The Tremeloes had the temerity to release a version just four months after The Beatles (though they claimed they were already playing it live in shows before anybody else) and had a hit with it. It’s also been attempted by The Searchers, The Kingsmen, Bruce Springsteen and then in 1988, it was given the hip-hop treatment by Salt-N-Pepa and became a No 4 single in the UK.

Fast forward five years and here it was again courtesy of Chaka Demus and Pliers (plus Jack Radics and Taxi Gang). Maybe they were inspired by Salt-N-Pepa – if it could be hip-hopped, then maybe the song could be also be reggae-fied? Or maybe they took inspiration from ragga duo Louchie Lou and Michie One who took another song originally done by The Isley Brothers but made famous by another artist (“Shout” by Lulu) and bagged a Top 10 hit earlier in 1993 . Whatever the reason, Chaka Demus and Pliers’ version of “Twist And Shout” didn’t work for me as I could never got on board with all that toasting. Also, wasn’t this more of a Summer tune than a Christmas one? I know host Tony Dortie goes on about what a big party tune it is which could crossover into festive celebrations I guess but clearly the TOTP producers saw it as a Summer song judging by the palm trees in the set they designed for the performance here.

You’d be hard pressed to find a more blatant example of record company cashing in than this. Not having had Meatloaf as their artist for a decade by this point didn’t matter at all to CBS when it came to exploiting the back catalogue of their previous charge. With “Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell” and its single “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” tearing up the charts everywhere on the planet, of course CBS we’re going to rerelease probably his most famous song. So it came to pass the Meatloaf managed to be in possession of two UK Top 20 hits simultaneously in 1993 when “Bat Out Of Hell” got to No 8 beating its original 1979 peak by seven places. Who was buying it though? The parent album is one of the best selling in history so many, many people would surely already own the song so that leaves two options to my mind. One, Meatloaf completists or two, young music fans who’d only just discovered him via his latest success and either thought this was his latest/new single or wanted to explore his older stuff.

All of this just goes to show how perceptions can change in the wake of a huge success. Two years prior to this, “Bat Out Of Hell: Re-vamped” was released -basically a straight reissue but with “Dead Ringer For Love” added – and to promote it “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” was rereleased. It peaked at No 69.

You know that debate that rages about this time of year about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not? Well, there’s surely a musical equivalent to that argument about whether “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is a Christmas song isn’t there? Why am I going on about a track that is twelve months away from being the festive No 1? I guess because looking at their performance here of “It’s Alright”, it’s clear that they weren’t averse to pushing a Christmas agenda if it suited which it did literally here as all four members are Santa suited-up. I actually beat East 17 to it by four years. In Christmas 1989, I was working in the toy department at Debenhams and used to stand in for the guy playing Father Christmas in the grotto on his breaks. That suit stank to high heaven. The store had a fire alarm go off whilst I was in it and we all had to evacuate the building. I got a few comments from the rest of the employees whilst stood outside waiting to be allowed back in.

Back to East 17 though and Tony Dortie says two things that peaked my interest in his links. Firstly that Brian Harvey was “flu affected”. We’ve been here before just the other week when Gabrielle appeared on the show in person to say she couldn’t perform her single as she had flu. Harvey goes one better by having flu but still managing to sing and jig about on stage. Flu my arse! Secondly, Dortie announces that he’s off on tour with East 17 shortly. On tour? Doing what exactly? They already had two guys in the band who appeared to do not very much at all. Surely they didn’t need a third?! Was Dortie just going to introduce them on stage each night? Was that all? Nice work if you can get it. It’s alright indeed.

In Christmas 1993, Diana Ross had a Best Of album out called “One Woman: The Ultimate Collection” which was a huge seller over the festive season going four times platinum and selling 1.2 million copies in the UK. We sold loads of it in that Altrincham Our Price where I was working but we had to go against company policy to do so. The CD was officially priced at something like £11.99 but all the other outlets in Altrincham (Boots, Woolies etc) were selling it for £9.99. Myself and the manager Cathy came to the conclusion that we wouldn’t sell any at £11.99 and so price matched. We didn’t ask permission or tell any other stores, we just did it and it worked – we sold loads and maintained a decent market share on the album. However, when the Area Manager turned up unexpectedly for a store visit we nearly shat ourselves thinking he would notice. He had this thing he did at Christmas where he would help out serving customers and so we were sure we would get busted as somebody in the queue would have the Diana Ross CD. Myself and Cathy joined in serving trying to spot anyone in the queue who would give the game away and head them off at the pass by jumping in and getting to them first. Somehow we got away with it. Phew!

Diana did an extensive tour to help promote the album an Our Price colleague went to see her on one of her dates. When I asked him how it had been the next day, he’d convinced himself that he was Ms Ross’s long lost, illegitimate child so consumed by the experience was he. I’m assuming she performed the single “Your Love” which was a new track added to the album to help promote it but it was hardly up there with some of her classic recordings for me. It peaked at No 14.

WTF?! Eight Breakers?! EIGHT?! You have to be kidding me?! That must be a record! Five is pretty much maximum capacity usually. Presumably the TOTP producers have done this because the chart at Christmas are usually clogged up with new records strategically released to cash in on the extra sales at this time of year. Even so. Eight Breakers means a whopping grand total of fourteen songs on this show! Tossers! Don’t they realise how much work this is for me?

We start with another boy band, this time of the American variety who time would surely have forgotten if not for a gimmick surrounding their name. EYC (it stood for Express Yourself Clearly) had this annoying habit of signing off from any promotional appearances by saying “E Y See ya”. Ugh! Somehow this trio of ex-New Kids On The Block backing dancers (no, that’s literally what they were) somehow managed to bag themselves six UK Top 40 hits the first of which was “Feelin’ Alright”. It had a sub House Of Pain vibe to it tailored for the teen market but it was pretty lame all the same.

My main memory of this lot came the following year. I was now working in the Our Price in Market Street, Manchester where I first started three years previously. I was on the counter with the manager and he served a young girl with one of their singles. As he went behind the shelving to get it (the stock wasn’t in the racks live at this point) he said to me in a really loud voice which the customer must have heard, “This is crap isn’t it?”. How I cringed.

Next up a tune so intensely and annoyingly catchy it’s still in my head nearly thirty years on. I would have said that “Come Baby Come” by K7 was from 1994 not 1993. I’m kind of right. It reached its peak of No 3 in the January of ‘94 but was actually released in December ‘93. K7 was essentially US all rounder Louis Sharpe. A rapper, songwriter, record producer, he also went by the name of Kayel. He’s only really known over here though for this single. Employing that call and answer style of rap (is it meant to be him and his homies who he’s hangin’ with?), it kind of reminds me of that drill instructor song from the late 80s. What was it called again?

*googles ‘drill instructor song’

That’s it! “Full Metal Jacket (I Wanna Be Your Drill Instructor)” by Abigail Mead and Nigel Goulding…

Anyway, it also had that drive-you- insane shouty chorus that once heard is never forgotten*. Maybe it was just meant to distract you from those innuendo loaded lyrics which were actually pretty filthy. I guess the clue was in the song title but check these out:

Better move it fast so you can pump it (pump it)
Two balls and a bat (hoo), a pitcher with a hat (ha)
Slidin’ into home base, tryin’ to hit a home run
Swing batta batta batta batta batta swing

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Louis Sharpe / Joey Gardner
Come Baby Come lyrics © Universal Music – Z Songs, Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Blue Ink Music, Third And Lex Music

You don’t have to be Finbarr Saunders to work out what’s going on here! I’m sure we’ll be seeing and hearing more of K7 in future TOTP repeats. For those of a delicate nature, you have been warned!

*Such an ear worm is it that thirty years later, when I want my dog called Benji to come to me, I often say “Come Benji come, Benji, Benji come come”.

Ah now, talking of delicate…how to approach this one? OK well, the facts around the record are that “Gone Too Soon” was the ninth and final single taken from Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous” album (the first – “Black And White” – had been released an incredible 25 months earlier). As the ninth single from an album that had been out for two years, even Jackson couldn’t eke out a big hit from it and it stalled at No 33. This was his lowest UK chart placing since a rerelease of “Girl Your So Together” in 1984.

Jackson recorded the track as a tribute to Ryan White, a US teenager who was haemophiliac and became infected with the HIV virus from a contaminated blood treatment. This was the dark ages of 1984 and Ryan was subsequently barred by his school from attending due to concerns from other parents that he would spread the virus. Given just six months to live, Ryan lived on for another five years in which time he became a high profile figure for HIV/AIDS research and public education attracting the attention of Jackson.

Unfortunately for the singer (and this is where the delicate bit comes in) the release of the song coincided with allegations of child sexual abuse against him made by the then thirteen years old Jordan Chandler. I’m guessing the single’s cover with a picture of Jackson walking around his Neverland ranch with Ryan maybe didn’t do the King of Pop any favours in the eyes of anyone who wanted to believe the allegations. The case was eventually settled out of court with the plaintiff reportedly receiving $23 million. Speculation about Jackson’s private life (already a media frenzy) had gone onto another, darker level. The scrutiny and effects of the accusations would never leave him and indeed resurfaced in 2003 with a second set of allegations. Jackson was acquitted on all counts in 2005. Four years later, he would be dead himself from cardiac arrest. At the memorial service, Usher performed “Gone Too Soon” and the circle was complete.

After being on the show last time, Cliff Richard is into the charts but it’s more with a loud fart than a bang at a lowly No 27 with “Healing Love”. The single would struggle on gamely to a high of No 19 but it was a far cry from the massive Christmas hits of “Mistletoe And Wine” and “Saviour’s Day”.

I can’t even find the official promo video for the single online so unloved is the song but from the few seconds we see here there seems to be a lot of billowing drapes behind Cliff as he sings. Haven’t seen as much material being wafted about since Spandau Ballet and “Only When You Leave” in 1984.

Next up a duet featuring a man who, despite being around since the time of disco, is only known in the UK for three songs, all of them collaborations with a female singer. Peabo Bryson first had a – no wait! You’re right. Let’s address that name of his before anything else. Peabo…you don’t get many of them to the pound do you? I’ve never heard anyone calling out “Peabo, come here now!” or “Have you seen our Peabo?”. However, I do know someone who once heard these immortal words come out of the mouth of a tired and frustrated mother:

“Oi! Cleopatra! Pack it in or I’ll twat ya!”

Hessle Road, Hull sometime around 2010

Only in Hull. Anyway, Peabo isn’t his real name. No, of course it isn’t! Sadly his real name is worse if anything – Robert Peapo Bryson. Peapo! That’s what you say when playing with a baby! As I was saying though, he first had a hit in the UK in 1983 with “Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You”, an horrendously schmaltzy ballad that went all the way to No 2. There then followed an eight year gap until he returned with the title song from the Disney animation Beauty And The Beast alongside Celine Dion which bagged them a Top 10 hit. Clearly onto a good thing, he returned in 1993 with another Disney film song. This time it was “A Whole New World” which was from Aladdin and was, of course, another duet. The lucky lady this time was US singer songwriter Regina Belle who had been releasing records since 1987 without much commercial success. That was rectified and then some by “A Whole New World”. Not only was it an American No 1, it also is noteworthy for being the record that finally knocked Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” off the top spot after fourteen weeks over there. The reception to the record was a bit more lukewarm in the UK where it peaked at No 12.

It’s been covered a few times including by ex- One Direction member Zayn Malik (alongside Zhavia Ward) but the one that really stands out is the version by the god awful Peter Andre and his then wife Katie Price who included it on their album of covers also called “A Whole New World”. The track listing includes their takes on “Islands In The Stream” and the aforementioned “Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You”. Hell’s teeth! That’s a whole new world of pain more like!

Next another of those rappers that the white middle class kids of Altrincham, Cheshire would fawn over. Ice T had a reputation for controversy that far outweighed any commercial success he achieved, certainly in this country. By 1993, he’d already released five albums but had never had a UK Top 40 hit…until “That’s How I’m Livin’”. We kind of knew already how he was living (that’s with a ‘g’ rather than as a ‘G’) and that was tendentiously. He’d provoked the ire of the POTUS George Bush no less with the release of “Cop Killer” by Body Count a track he wrote and a band he was a member of. He is also recognised as one of the defining influences of gangster rap and had well publicised disputes with fellow rappers like LL Cool J. However, Ice T was also savvy enough to diversify and forged an acting career for himself, starring in dozens of films and TV shows like New Jack City and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. “That’s How I’m Livin’” was taken from his album “Home Invasion” and peaked at No 21.

We didn’t know it at the time but the “Spooky” single would be the last material released by New Order (barring Best Ofs and rereleased singles) for eight years. For five of those years, the band didn’t see each other at all whilst the concentrated on personal projects. Yet again I have zero recall of this track. New Order singles of 1993? “Regret” of course. “Ruined In A Day”? Yeah. “World (The Price Of Love)”? Just about. This one though? I’ve got nothing, zero, nada. Like I’ve never heard it before. Why put out a fourth single from an album that been out for months during the Christmas rush? Consequently, “Spooky” only made No 22 which is actually higher than I would have expected. Maybe they just wanted to set a personal band record. This was the first time that New Order ever achieved four hits from the same album.

Tellingly, Tony Dortie says he doesn’t think the band have ever made a bad video. A bad video? Is that what they’d become reduced to by this point? What about the music? There were worst times ahead though with Peter Hook leaving under very acrimonious circumstances. Oh dear.

The final Breaker is a song that had already almost been the Christmas No 1 once and was rush released in 1993 to try again. Back in 1984, the whole of the UK record buying public seemed to be enthralled by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Two No 1 singles clocking up fifteen weeks at the top between them meant that when it came to the runners and riders for the festive chart topper, they were the bookies favourite. They had an epic, bowl-you-over ballad that was perfect for Christmas. They even had a nativity themed promo video. “The Power Of Love” duly went to No 1 on its first week of release. What hadn’t been figured into the odds was Bob Geldof and Band Aid which, when the list of high profile pop star contributors to the record became known, was always going to be the Christmas chart topper. Frankie were dethroned after just one week. Could the 1993 rerelease do what the 1984 original couldn’t and be No 1 for Yuletide? For Bob Geldof read Mr Blobby. They never stood a chance though “The Power Of Love” remains a firm favourite on Christmas playlists to this day. Mr Blobby on the other hand…

One of the success stories of 1993 now (and it pains me to say it) as we catch up with Haddaway in Disney World, Florida. Didn’t we see PM Dawn and Boy George there this year as well? Did TOTP have some sort of arrangement with Disney? Anyway, after No 2 and No 6 hits in the UK charts, the big question for Haddaway wasn’t “What Is Love?” but “how do I get a third hit? Well, one of the biggest lessons we’ve learned from these hundreds of TOTP repeats is that if you’re a new act with a shiny, uptempo pop song, you can replicate that formula for the follow up but you need something different for the third release and what is more different than a ballad? Haddaway clearly knew the rules and his third release was indeed a slow, romantic number called “I Miss You”. Sadly though, it’s not only slow but completely laboured and ponderous. It literally never gets out of first gear. Just dreadful. The lyrics sound like they came out of a one minute brainstorming session about the most obvious themes of love and regret.

I miss you, oh I miss you
I’m gonna need you more and more each day
I miss you, more than words can say
More than words can ever say

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Dreadful stuff. Somehow though, this nonsense got to No 9 to give Haddaway his third consecutive Top 10 hit. 1993 really had a lot to answer for.

Take That have gone straight into the charts at No 1 for the third consecutive time with “Babe”. No other act had done this at the time. Not the aforementioned Frankie, not The Jam (they managed two) not anyone. It really was quite the rise when you consider that eighteen months earlier, their biggest hit to date had been the No 38 single “Promises”. By Christmas 1993, they were the undisputed heroes for a generation of teenage girls. Of course, it’s not like we hadn’t seen bands being screamed at before. Bay City Rollers, Duran Duran, Bros…and yet none of them attained this particular chart achievement.

Tony Dortie joins the band on stage at the song’s end for a cosy chat about how well they’re doing and so high on success are they that they take the piss out of dethroned No 1 Mr Blobby by doing some Blobby impressions (led by Robbie Williams naturally). The pink and yellow dotted buffoon would have his revenge a week later when, rather improbably, he returned to the top of the charts to bag the Christmas No 1. I remember thinking that this was nuts and how had it happened? I was no Take That fan obviously but at least “Babe” was a proper song. Somebody who was a fan was my younger sister and years later she went to see a Robbie Williams tribute act where, in an unlikely turn of events, the worlds of Mr Blobby and Take That collided once more. The impersonator was a rather rotund figure and so his stage name was Blobby Williams and he was part of Take Fat. Marvellous.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Chaka Demus and PliersTwist And ShoutNope
2MeatloafBat Out Of HellNo
3East 17It’s AlrightYes, yes I did
4Diana RossYour LoveNever happening
5EYCFeelin’ AlrightAs if
6K7Come Baby ComeI did not
7Michael JacksonGone Too SoonNah
8Cliff RichardHealing LoveOf course not
9Peabo Bryson and Regina BelleA Whole New WorldNoi chance
10Ice TThat’s How I’m LivinNot my bag
11New OrderSpookyNegative
12Frankie Goes To HollywoodThe Power Of LoveNot in 1984 nor 1993
13HaddawayI Miss YouAwful – no
14Take That BabeAnd no

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001fy5t/top-of-the-pops-16121993