TOTP 02 FEB 1995

OK, we’re moving into a new era of TOTP with this particular edition. It’s taken a whole year but executive producer Ric Blaxill has finally turned his attention to the show’s logo, theme tune, titles and set. The much ridiculed ‘weather vane’ title graphics are gone and replaced by just seven seconds of some golden hued torsos indulging in vaguely musical activities involving a microphone and headphones and finally holding up a plaque with the new logo on it. It’s all very underwhelming. The logo itself was soft launched on the retro archive spin off show Top of the Pops 2 five months previously and is a much more basic design than its immediate predecessor with the ‘of’ and ‘the’ rather oddly highlighted within a blue box. As for the theme tune – “Red Hot Pop” composed by Erasure’s Vince Clarke – it’s main riff reminds me of something I can quite put my finger on…give me a moment…got it! The intro to “Rasputin” by Boney M! No really! It does! Blaxill hasn’t chucked everything out though. He’s retained the increasingly pointless artist to camera piece at the very top of the show (this week it’s Luther Vandross telling us Stingray like ‘not to go anywhere for the next half hour’) as well as the ‘golden mic’ presenter feature. As it’s a special week, he’s got a big name in to do the honours – it’s Kylie Minogue in a scorching hot, red latex dress! Blimey!

We hardly have time to take that image in before we’re into the first act though who are M People with “Open Your Heart”. This would turn out to be the band’s seventh in a run of eight consecutive Top 10 hits and was the second single release from their “Bizarre Fruit” album. Given those numbers, clearly the record buying public hadn’t had enough of the M People formula just yet though they were arguably teetering at the top of the hill named success and about to start coming down the other side.

“Open Your Heart” ticked all the usual boxes – perky backing, uplifting chorus, powerhouse Heather Small vocals, parping sax courtesy of Mike Pickering and yet I don’t remember this one at all which suggests to me that I, at least, was tiring of M People. Their next single release was “Search For The Hero” which would deviate from the template rather and remains one of their most well known tunes. Could it be that even the band themselves had got a little bored with their sound?

Ah, now then. It’s time for that weird period of 90s pop when there were a flurry of hits that were all based around a riff that went ‘nah, ne, ne, nah, ne, ne, ne, nah, ne’. This example comes from MN8 whose debut single “I’ve Got A Little Something For You” went all the way to No 2 and was the first of seven UK chart hits.

Off the top of my head there’s “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan which was a hit in the early Summer of 1995…

Then a year later the abysmal Peter Andre recycled the riff to score a No 1 no less (no really) with “Flava”…

There’s possibly more examples but anyway, back to MN8 who…erm…emanated from Surrey and comprised of KG, G-Man, Kule T and Dee Tails (I’ve no idea what there real names were but I bet they are along the lines of Kevin, Keith, Gordon and Dean). Coming on like Ultimate Kaos’ hormone filled, elder brothers (the six pack exposing strip in this performance was a bit gratuitous lads), this lot briefly threatened to be a big deal. Tour support slots with Boyzone, East 17 and even Janet Jackson only strengthened the notion. However, after their deal with Sony expired, the band concentrated on live shows and then took time out to decide what they wanted to do next. We weren’t talking a few weeks here though – the lads’ sabbatical is now at 25 years and counting. Apparently they did reconvene in 2013 to record an album that remains unreleased.

This inactivity hasn’t affected the band’s ego though. Also in 2013, G-Man declared in an interview on BBC1 Xtra of MN8’s legacy, “How are you going to write a story about the best acts of the past fifteen years and not mention us”. G-Man’s confidence clearly wasn’t matched by his ability to count – at the time of the interview, MN8 hadn’t released any new material for sixteen years. Ah.

Here’s another ‘Na-na-na-nah’ song and it’s a third outing on the show for the video for “Here Comes The Hotstepper” by Ini Kamoze next. Although there is an obvious emphasis on the word ‘Hotstepper’ given its appearance in the song’s title and chorus (it’s patois slang for someone on the run from the police), there’s also the reappearance later in the lyrics of a phrase that I only knew from Kris Kross and their 1992 hit “Jump”. I refer to ‘Mack Daddy’ (or is it ‘Daddy Mack’?). So what did this one mean? Well, apparently it’s another patois term and means ‘a conspicuously successful pimp’! Did Kris Kross’s parents know what they were rapping about?!

In the ocean of mainly sub standard dance tunes that was the UK Top 40 at this time, here’s a life buoy of a tune that I have a particular connection to. Scarlet were Cheryl Parker and Jo Youle who met at Wolfreton school in Hull. Now Hull, of course, is where I have been living for the past twenty years but that’s not the connection I was talking about (obvious though it is). No, it’s that my wife (who is also from Hull)…no, she doesn’t know Cheryl or Jo (that really would be obvious)…no, it’s that my wife had heard of them well before “Independent Love Song” was a hit.

I’m not sure where but she’d heard one of their early singles released on indie label Haven Records “Shine On Me Now” and liked it so much she asked me to try and find out about it/them what with me working in a record shop and all. Clearly my research skills weren’t up to the job as we don’t own that single. However, I did try honest. Look, here’s the note that I made of it in my Filofax (yes, I had one!).

Anyway, three years later, Scarlet were signed to WEA and their second major label single release (the first was “I Really Like The Idea” recorded with third member Joanne Fox who left before success hit) propelled them into the charts. And what a song! It swoops and soars, ebbs and flows and has an epic chorus. It stood out like a firework against the dark night sky to me. It really should have got higher up the charts than No 12. In fact, Scarlet should have had a much bigger career but they only had one more chart hit after “Independent Love Song” – the follow up single “I Wanna Be Free (To Be With Him)” which made it to No 21. They released two albums “Naked” and “Chemistry” – the former made No 59 whilst the latter disappeared without trace. Jo Youle is now chief executive of Missing Persons, a charity that gives support to those searching for lost loved ones whilst Cheryl Parker started SongwritersWorldwide, a website for new acts to find songs.

By the way, I finally found “Shine On Me Now” (if only YouTube had been around back then). A version of it appeared on “Naked” retitled as just “Shine”.

It’s time for Luther Vandross now who, as previously mentioned, did the message to camera piece at the top of the show earlier. He’s here to perform the latest single from his covers project “Songs” which had been a No 1 album and had already given him a Top 3 single courtesy of his duet with Mariah Carey on “Endless Love”. The track chosen as the follow up was “Always And Forever”. Nothing to do with the debut album of last week’s hosts Eternal* but a hit for Heatwave in 1977.

*The Eternal fall out story broke just after I’d published hence why I didn’t comment on it in the post

It’s a bit of a dirge to be fair and Luther’s straight down the middle version doesn’t do anything to alter my opinion. It was written by Rod Temperton who hailed from Cleethorpes (just down the East coast from Hull) who also wrote “Thriller”, “Off The Wall” and “Rock With You” for Michael Jackson! However, for me his masterpiece remains Heatwave’s “Boogie Nights” which has one of the best intros ever…

I’ve been critical in the past of the live by satellite exclusive performances that TOTP promoted going all the way back to the 1991 ‘year zero’ reboot I believe. My main issue with them was that there wasn’t anything very…well…‘exclusive’ about them with the majority being filmed in empty theatres and concert venues (presumably in the middle of the night due to time differences) that could have been from anywhere and were certainly no better than a turn in the TOTP studio. I get that it was a way for the artist to appear on the show if they couldn’t be there in person due to touring or promotional commitments but surely these satellite slots weren’t even as good as an expensively produced video were they?

Well, I can’t accuse this particular satellite performance of being anaemic but I’m not sure it’s entertaining either. It’s just…well, bonkers. Beaming in from Japan, are REM performing “Crushed By Eyeliner” on a stage along with a crowd of extras some of whom are dancing on a podium. Having watched the official promo video, perhaps they are trying to recreate it on stage. Perhaps. But the three stooges in bear costumes?! What the f**k was that about? It all just smacks a bit of “look at us being so zany and subverting the mainstream”; so much so that rather than promote the single, it distracts from it. Still, Blaxill didn’t miss the chance to promote the TOTP brand by emblazoning the new logo on the arse of one of the bears!

“Crushed By Eyeliner” was the third single from the band’s “Monster” album and it was probably the last one of theirs that I took any real notice of. I kind of lost sight of REM after this. Their final two albums of the 90s – “New Adventures In Hi-Fi” and “Up” – passed me by completely. This track is still a winner though and its No 23 peak probably doesn’t do it justice.

“How many of you remember the original?” asks Kylie and the end of this next track. Me Kylie! Me! And it was better than this bastardised version! Back in 1982, Pigbag went all the way to No 3 with “Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag”, an instrumental with a genuinely once heard never forgotten brass riff. The success and legacy of the track (its distinctive refrain was even adopted as a football terrace chant especially by QPR fans) meant though that Pigbag became one of those artists where the song became bigger than the band. In fairness, they did their best to make sure that fate didn’t become them when they pushed their post punk anarchist agenda by being escorted out of the TOTP studio after one of the band performed steaming drunk on a live show and swore at a BBC producer after the cameras stopped rolling. Pigbag split in 1983 but their hit refused to go away.

Fast forward to 1995 and here it is again remodelled by Perfecto Allstarz as “Reach Up (Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag)”. Whereas Pigbag struggled to be known as a band and not a song, Perfecto Allstarz weren’t a band at all but rather a vehicle for Paul Oakenfold and his Perfecto brand. The trance DJ and record producer would dominate the 90s dance world and work with everyone from Moby to The Rolling Stones via his Perfecto remix team and record label. His remix of U2’s “Even Better Than The Real Thing” was the first time I heard the name Perfecto and a fine remix it was too. “Reach Up” though was awful. The original was a classic that I would argue couldn’t be improved upon and certainly not by adding a strangulated house style vocal imploring us to ‘Reach Up’ to it. And what was with the skeleton costumes? Maybe Blaxill had watched Live And Let Die that week and run with the idea…

I feel as if I should make more of a big deal of Celine Dion finally making it to No 1 with “Think Twice” after twelve weeks on the Top 40 including three consecutive at No 2 but seeing as it’s going to be the UK’s chart topper for the six more after this, I can’t really be bothered.

OK, this is new (sort of). Instead of playing out with the No 1 record we’ve got a preview of a new song that wasn’t even released until the Monday following this broadcast. Annie Lennox (or Annie Lenn-ox as Kylie curiously pronounces her surname) had been away from the charts for two years since the runaway success of her debut solo album “Diva” and with no sign of Eurythmics getting back together she moved onto a follow up. Nothing out of the ordinary there except that as her sophomore effort, she chose to record a set of cover versions. Wasn’t that the sort of thing an artist would do to fulfil a contractual obligation with a record company? Whatever reason was behind the decision, Annie chose to cover songs from the likes of Paul Simon, Bob Marley, Neil Young and, in an act of musical heresy, The Clash. Entitled “Medusa”, it received mixed reviews in the music press though just about everyone agreed that the lead single was actually rather good. Given the stellar names of the other artists whose work Annie covered, the choice of taking on obscure 80s act The Lover Speaks was straight out of left field. Or was it? The Lover Speaks were the duo David Freeman and Joseph Hughes who sent a demo tape to Dave Stewart of Eurythmics who signed them to his publishing house. He sent their demo to Chryssie Hynde who sent it to producer Jimmy Iovine who got them signed to A&M. You don’t even need all six steps of separation to draw a line back to Annie.

Now then, back in the Summer of 1986, big things were being predicted for The Lover Speaks. They were being touted as The Walker Brothers of the 80s and their debut single “No More ‘I Love You’s’” was attracting lots of airplay. I think I first heard it on the Gary Davies show on Radio 1 as he seemed to play it everyday and what a glorious thing it was. My friend Robin described it as “a poppy Cocteau Twins” and I think he’s spot on. A shimmering diamond of a song that was full of melody and drama that pulled at your heartstrings every time you heard it (well, mine at least). I was so impressed I bought their album but in truth, a bit like Annie’s “Medusa”, nothing else on it matched its quality. As with many a single that I adored in the 80s though, “No More ‘I Love You’s’” didn’t even make the Top 40 peaking at No 58.

Given all of this, despite Annie’s version not being anything near as good as the original, I was pleased when it became a huge hit peaking at No 2. A song that good deserved to be heard by a wider audience. I’d had similar thoughts back in 1987 when Alison Moyet released a very poor version of “Weak In The Presence Of Beauty”, a wonderful song which was originally released by Floy Joy also in 1986 and which also failed to become the huge hit it deserved to be when it peaked at a lowly No 85. And guess what? It turns out that The Lover Speaks collaborated with Alison on her album “Raindancing” from which “Weak In The Presence Of Beauty” came. Kevin Bacon’s got nothing on The Lover Speaks!

Now, as I recall, there was quite a bit of reaction to Annie’s performance on this TOTP but then I guess that’s what she wanted. I mean, you don’t take to the stage with four drag queen ballerinas by accident do you? Annie herself though is rather out there as well. The extravagant headwear that made her look like Minnie Mouse and the weird performing as if under duress when being buffeted by the ballerinas towards the end? All very strange but at least it made for a memorable appearance.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1M PeopleOpen Your HeartNo
2MN8I’ve Got A Little Something For YouAs if
3Ini KamozeHere Comes The HotstepperNo but I think my wife did
4ScarletIndependent Love SongCall the fuzz! Where’s my copy of this gone?!
5Luther VandrossAlways And ForeverNope
6REMCrushed By EyelinerNah
7Perfecto AllstarzReach Up (Papa’s Got A Brand New Pigbag)NO!
8Celine DionThink TwiceI did not
9Annie LennoxNo More ‘I Love You’s’No but I had The Lover Speaks album with the original on

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001qp2q/top-of-the-pops-02021995

TOTP 19 JAN 1995

Well hello there! It’s been a while hasn’t it? The Summer was one of inactivity at the towers of TOTP Rewind due to the enforced break caused by BBC4’s decision to pause their broadcast schedule for TOTP repeats. Having rampaged through 1994 at breakneck speed, the channel came to an abrupt stop just two shows into 1995 and commenced on a two month sabbatical from the chart hits of that year. Some immovable events took precedent like Glastonbury weekend and then there was The Proms but what seemed odd was that the programme schedulers found space to re-show TOTP episodes from the archives we’d already seen previously. Why didn’t they just allocate those slots to the 1995 shows? They’d clearly put some thought into it as the shows chosen for another airing were those that were broadcast on or near to the current date in 2023 – sort of like an ‘On this day in TOTP history’ mini series. I didn’t really get it but I was quite glad of the break from writing if I’m honest. All I had to do each week was tweet a link to my blog archive for my corresponding review of said shows. Brilliant!

Now, given the time elapsed since the last post, a quick catch up might be in order to remind myself about what I was up to in January 1995. Well, work wise I was still with Our Price and had spent Xmas ‘94 in the Market Street, Manchester store where I’d begun my retail career four years earlier. However, times they were a-changin’ and that shop had been sold on to a travel agents. Obviously the company had waited until after the busy Xmas sales period to pull the plug but once that had been and gone the countdown until the end was on. We had the ‘everything must go’ sale but I was focused on what would happen to the staff. As I recall, every full time member was offered alternative employment in another store (probably the Piccadilly shop) but my own future had yet to be decided. A return to Piccadilly wasn’t the most attractive option for me as I’d hated my five months there and to be fair to the company management, they didn’t send me back. All portents seemed to advise that another stint at the Stockport branch was on the cards for me and so it proved when I returned there to spend the next three and a half years in the Cheshire shop.

Before all of that though was the task of closing down the store. Once the shop had shut its doors for the last time, most people moved onto their new locations leaving just a skeleton staff to deal with the remaining stock etc. Come the very end, there were just two of us left – myself and the manager. It was a weird feeling turning up to work in those final few days with the shop basically a hollowed out carcass. My main memory of this period though involved the store’s fire alarm system. I can’t remember exactly why but there was a need for it to be turned off while some work by the shopfitters was carried out. The manager and I believed this had been done successfully but as soon as the work began, the alarm sprang into life. The realisation then hit us that the alarm was linked to the fire station and that a team of firefighters would have been immediately deployed to attend the scene. This wasn’t a pre-planned fire drill exercise after all. As the store was part of the Manchester Arndale shopping centre, we legged it down to the loading bay area below us so that we could be there to head off the firemen and reassure them that the shop was not ablaze. They duly arrived to find me and the manager looking very sheepish and apologetic. They were NOT amused and rightly so though we firmly believed the whole incident wasn’t our fault per se. Once again though, I apologise to the Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service.

Back to the music though and it’s time for the nose to become reacquainted with the grindstone so let’s crack on with 1995. Here’s hoping there were some hot tunes burning up the charts! Before the titles roll though we’re reminded that the show still has that direct to camera piece from an artist appearing that week advertising their forthcoming presence. This week it’s ‘The Walrus of Love’ himself Barry White who is back on the show for the first time in eight years. I can’t think of Barry White without thinking of this which I know is very disrespectful to his legacy but I can’t help how my brain works…

However, we start with those little scamps Ultimate Kaos who are back with their second hit single “Hoochie Booty”. Yes, despite having an average band age of 14 as detailed in the TOTP caption, Simon Cowell’s protégés were considered old enough to be singing a song about a sexually promiscuous woman’s bottom. At least I think that’s what the title refers to. I’m not completely clear on the lyrics but at one point they seem to be singing “she’s hangin’ out wit Judy Judy with the big ol booty” and then banging on about taking her home. Blimey! I didn’t know my arse from my elbow sexually speaking when I was 14 and certainly nothing about women’s bottoms! Maybe Ultimate Kaos were trail blazers though, paving the way for All Saints to have a No 1 in 1998 with “Bootie Call” and Destiny’s Child to score big with the track “Bootylicious” in 2001, a phrase that is now so immeshed in popular culture and language that it is listed in all the English language dictionaries and didn’t show up on spellcheck when I typed it earlier in this sentence.

As for the song itself, the newly adopted swing beat direction was clearly an attempt to extend the appeal of Ultimate Kaos to a wider (more mature) audience but it just comes across as inappropriate to me. I think the youth of today might describe it as “giving me the ick”.

Come 1995, the UK trip hop scene appeared to have a new poster group to spearhead it in the form of Bristol’s Portishead who’s debut album “Dummy” would climb to No 2 in our charts. However, anybody writing off OG act Massive Attack were hugely wide of the mark*.

*As a numerical demonstration of this, Massive Attack are at No 14 in this particular chart whilst Portishead are below them at No 15.

Although it had taken the band three and a half years to release a follow up to their iconic debut album “Blue Lines”, sophomore effort “Protection” was worth the wait. Sure, lead single “Sly” hadn’t set the charts alight but when the title track was released it couldn’t be ignored. As with their classic tune “Unfinished Sympathy”, “Protection” benefitted from the talents of a guest vocalist. In 1995, for Shara Nelson read Tracey Thorn from Everything But The Girl. In many ways, Tracey wasn’t an obvious choice. Despite realising a string of great material over the previous decade, their only charting singles since 1984’s “Each And Everyone” had been cover versions – “I Don’t Want To Talk About it” (No 3 in 1988) and their “Covers EP” (No 13 in 1992). However, despite the record buying public collectively cockn’ a deaf ‘un, Tracey’s voice remained and indeed remains to this day both beautiful and immediately recognisable. The song itself is effortlessly and elegantly melancholy yet has a stunning, haunting melody. Tracey herself contributed to the lyrics using her experience of caring for partner Ben Watt through his rare autoimmune condition Churg–Strauss syndrome as inspiration. I read Ben’s account of his recovery from the condition in his auto biography Patient many years ago and it’s a wonderful book. It was out of print for a while but is now available again via Bloomsbury. Worth seeking out. I wasn’t expecting to see Tracey with a guitar strapped to her for this performance and it seems to accentuate her tiny frame but then it does help with the song’s themes and she even sings at one point “Sometimes you look so small, you need some shelter”. Indeed.

“Protection” the single would make No 13 whilst the album peaked at No 4 and would go double platinum. Possibly off the back of this collaboration, Everything But The Girl would be reborn as electronic dance maestros after the Todd Terry remix of “Missing” sold over a million copies in the UK alone. The original version had peaked at No 69 when released six months prior to this TOTP performance.

The problem with having this massive gap time wise between 1995 episodes is that when you return to them, it creates the false impression that the songs featured must have been hanging around the charts for ages when in reality they haven’t. Take “Here Comes The Hotstepper” by Ini Kamoze for example. Even though it was only in its third week on the UK Top 40, it feels like it must be into double figures by now. Something about the progression of time in the present bleeding into the past maybe? Time really can bend your head if you think about it too hard. Having said all that, “Here Comes The Hotstepper” did plant its soles in the charts for weeks including nine within the Top 10 and four consecutively at No 4.

Famously, the track’s lyrics refer to a “lyrical gangster” but what exactly was/is a lyrical gangster? Well, the Songfacts website suggests that although the Jamaican term ‘Hotstepper’ signifies someone on the run from the law, in the case of Ini’s protagonist, he’s guilty of metaphorical murder as opposed to the literal stories of murder contained within the material released by gangsta rapper artists at the time. So that’s metaphorical not literal – got that? Good. Presumably the distinction between the spelling of gangster and gangsta was important too. Well, we’re back to dictionaries again as the Oxford English Dictionary does distinguish between them with the former referring to membership of organised crime groups and the latter as belonging to an urban territorial gang. Not sure that distinction supports the Songfacts metaphor argument to be honest. I think that’s enough of the semantics for now to be honest. One thing I am in no doubt about though is that the film that the song featured in – PrêtàPorter– was absolute garbage.

Somebody who definitely has been hanging around for ages is tonight’s host Bruno Brookes who was one of the Radio 1 DJs brought back into the fold at the beginning of 1994 by new TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill when the ‘year zero’ revamp of 1991 was consigned to the dustbin. Don’t fret though, his charmed run on the show will be over soon. Before then though, he advises us about the new TOTP magazine that was due to appear on the shelves of your local newsagents imminently. Initially earmarked for the spot left vacant by the demise of No 1 magazine (of which I was a reader in the mid 80s and which BBC Magazines took over in 1990), its biggest claim to fame was surely coming up with the nicknames for a then fledgling Spice Girls in 1996.

Anyway, back to the music and here come a band that were inextricably connected to the Britpop movement whether they liked it or not. It could be argued that Sleeper only had themselves to blame having opened for Blur on their Parklife tour but the origins of the band lay way before that when guitarist Jon Stewart met Louise Wener at Manchester University in 1987. Following the familiar route of playing in various bands they finally morphed into Sleeper and were signed to Indolent Records (a subsidiary of RCA) in 1993. A handful of singles were released to critical acclaim but underwhelming sales before they broke through with “Inbetweener”. You can understand why as it’s a real ear worm with some great hooks. Watching Louise up there on stage for this performance she looks so confident and, well, powerful. Inevitably, as with Blondie in the late 70s / early 80s, Elastica rather more recently just twelve months prior and No Doubt three years later, the focus on the band centred around the female lead vocalist, certainly in terms of the media anyway. Louise had that girl next door look but with a glint in her eye and it worked for many a young male fan – I may have even been a bit taken myself. Erm…anyway, Wener was suddenly everywhere; NME front covers (and placing high in the publication’s rather laddish ‘Sexiest Woman’ poll, TV appearances on TFI Friday and The Word and even a turn in the ‘golden mic’ presenter slot on TOTP. All this attention was taken in good humour by the guys in the band who, unlike the aforementioned Blondie, didn’t seem too put out even when the music press coined the term ‘sleeperbloke’ to describe the anonymous other group members who faded into the background when faced with the harsh lights surrounding their more photogenic (and therefore deemed sometimes incorrectly more important lead singer).

As Britpop raged, Sleeper’s profile rose in parallel. 1996 brought a platinum album in the shape of “The It Girl” and four hit singles. They were an undoubted success. I caught them live around this time at the Manchester Academy. They were pretty good too as I remember. However, just as Britpop faded away, so too did Sleeper (thus adding to the perception of the band’s connection to the movement). 1997’s difficult third album “Pleased To Meet You” failed to hit the commercial highs of its predecessor and the band would split in 1998. Wener carved herself a successful career as a writer having four novels and an autobiography published and the band reconvened in 2017 playing live gigs and releasing new material for the first time in two decades.

By the way, if you Google the term ‘inbetweener’, once you’ve got past all the results for the antics of Will, Simon, Neil and Jay, you might see the Urban Dictionary definition of the term which refers to a sub group of people who are not cool enough to be popular but are not nerdy enough to be geeks. That’s a perfect description of my schooldays right there.

R Kelly’s misdemeanours mean that he’s been edited out of this show so it’s straight on to The Human League and their surprise comeback hit “Tell Me When”. The last time they were in the show I remarked on their curious decision to perform in a line rather than in the classic band formation and damn me if they haven’t done it again here! However, this time I’m more drawn to the idea that James frontman Tim Booth has seemingly invented a Time Machine and travelled back from present day to 1995 to be The Human League’s bass player. Complete dead ringer.

“Tell Me When” came from the band’s seventh album “Octopus” which gave them their highest chart position since “Hysteria” in 1984. Despite being around in one form or another for forty-five years, there have only ever been nine Human League albums or rather nine studio albums. There have however been thirteen greatest hits collections. Given the legacy left by 1981’s “Dare”, that hardly seems right but Phil, Joanne and Susan are much more of a live act these days regularly playing gigs and festivals. I caught them myself a few years ago at an open air venue in Hull. They were fine but the audience were not – too many people old enough to know better off their heads and being loud and lairy. In short, I didn’t like the sound of the crowd. I’ll get me coat.

And so to Barry White and I have to admit that, unlike Bruno Brookes who admits to owning all his records in his intro, I never really got his appeal but then I don’t think I was his optimum target audience. Was it just the unfathomably deep voice? Anyway, I don’t recall “Practice What You Preach” at all but it seems to be in keeping with his usual come-to-bed-and-make-sweet-music style. In fact, he actually seems to be in rather a hurry, exhorting his sexual partner to quit with the claims of how pleasure inducing the experience will be and to just get on with it. Heavens! I was rather surprised to discover that the single got as far as No 20 in the UK but then it was a No 1 record on the US R&B chart.

Now according to Bruno Brookes in his next intro, TOTP was a very important show to all the big stars, so much so that the next artist cut short her honeymoon to appear on it. Said star was Celine Dion who is on the verge of bagging herself a No 1 with her hit single “Think Twice” which is currently just one place off the chart summit. Was this true? Well, it could be I suppose – the chance of a No 1 and all that. I can imagine her record company stressing the importance of another bit of promotion on the UK’s premier music show to give the single that extra push. However, one thing doesn’t ring true – I checked the date when Celine got married. It was the 17th December 1994. Now given that this TOTP aired on 19th January 1995, that meant she’d been on honeymoon for over a month by this point! Really?! Well, she did marry one René Angélil who was her manager so I guess nobody was better placed to authorise an extended holiday for her than him!

And so to this week’s No 1 and it’s the same record as the last time I posted on this blog – “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex.

Look, I’ve got nothing left for this one so here’s Beavis and Butt-head’s take on it…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Ultimate KAOSHoochie BootyNah
2Massive Attack ProtectionNegative
3Ini KamozeHere Comes The HotstepperNo but I think my wife may have
4SleeperInbetweenerLiked it, didn’t buy it
5The Human LeagueTell Me WhenNope
6Barry White Practice What You PreachNo
7Celine DionThink TwiceNo thought required – no
8RednexCotton Eye JoeAs if

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agre

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001qgbk/top-of-the-pops-19011995

TOTP 05 JAN 1995

It’s time to welcome in the New Year…of 1995. As I recall I was in a curry house in Rusholme, Manchester with my wife and a friend as the midnight struck on New Year’s Eve. The head waiter announced to everyone in the restaurant the following:

“Ladies and gentlemen; we have just slipped into 1995”

…with a very salacious emphasis on the word ‘slipped’. It was all very unsavoury. Anyway, 1995 it was and what a year it would turn out to be. Britpop exploded, the unfashionable Blackburn Rovers win the Premier League (try telling your kids that) and pubs are allowed to stay open throughout Sunday afternoons for the first time.

Meanwhile, over at TOTP, the first new show of the year is hosted by comedian Jack Dee for the second time and who does he introduce as the first artist as we enter the mid point of the 90s? A synth band from the early 80s. Yep, for all its Britpop associations, 1995 opens with The Human League. If you ignore the single “Heart Like A Wheel” which made a lowly No 29 in 1990 (and I am), this was the band’s first major hit since “Human” made the Top 10 in 1986. That song had been a US chart topper with American audiences unable to resist the band’s attempt at a soul ballad, aided by Janet Jackson producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. However, their 1995 offering “Tell Me When” was nothing like “Human” and was instead a return to their early 80s synth sound on which they’d made their name. The lead single from seventh studio album “Octopus” (terrible title), it really did sound like an anachronism – a pleasant anachronism but an anachronism all the same. Quite why it cut through with the record buying public of early 1995 I’m not quite sure although it did top the airplay charts so obviously that will have boosted its chances.

Phil Oakey’s distinctive vocals sound ever so slightly wobbly in this TOTP performance, not helped by the amount of words in the lyrics of the verses; there seem to be too many causing him to almost stumble. Still, the chorus is an absolute winner recalling the glories of “(Keep Feeling) Fascination” and “Don’t You Want Me”. The band were being promoted as a trio of Phil, Susan Sulley and Joanne Catherall by this point and I have to say I don’t recognise the other three guys up their on stage with them. I think most of the classic line up had departed by then. The sight of all six just standing in a straight line like a New Romantic chorus line is a bit jarring but they just about get away with it with Susan’s Sally Bowles from Cabaret vibe the standout. And Phil still had hair!

The album was their first for new label eastwest since being released by Virgin Records and performed solidly going to No 6 and producing another hit single in the Susan Sulley sung “One Man In My Heart”. Heartened by their success, the band went back out on tour whilst Virgin decided to cash in on their former charges by rereleasing their 1988 Greatest Hits album but with “Tell Me When” tacked onto it. A challenge this year from Pulp to the title of the biggest band from Sheffield not withstanding, The Human League were back.

Despite a new song to start a new year (albeit from an old artist), the charts around this time were usually stagnated after the Christmas rush and the next song is the first of four that we’ve already seen not that long ago on the show. In fact this one, “Eternal Love” by PJ & Duncan, had already peaked at No 12 and started descending the charts but the slow sales after the Christmas rush had created a rather false scenario which saw the record go back up the Top 40 from No 16 to No 14.

I’ve recently been binge watching the Channel 4 sit com Derry Girls (I know, where have I been?!) and there’s an episode where the gang go to see a Take That concert in Belfast. Inevitably, various events delay them on their journey including an escaped polar bear and a bomb scare. When they realise that they are running late, one of the characters points out that they’ve already missed the support act who are PJ & Duncan. Expressions of crushing disappointment ensue amongst the group. This got me thinking – was that based on fact or a work of fiction courtesy of the script writers? So I checked. As Derry Girls is set in the 90s and the episode concerned occurs at a time when Robbie Williams was still in the band, I checked for concerts between 1992 and 1995 and as far as I can tell, PJ & Duncan did not support Take That. The support acts that I found listed were Eternal, Ultimate Kaos and an act called Overlord X.

Just in case my Take That concert research hasn’t made me look sad enough, I think that I should say, in the spirit of full disclosure, that I have actively attended a Take That concert myself! It was in 2009 and I went because my younger sister (a big fan) had been let down by a friend who was meant to be going with her so I stepped into the breach. And you know what, they were great fun making the crowd forget all about the terrible weather (it was at Old Trafford cricket ground in Manchester). Oh and the support that day? It was meant to be a young Lady Ga Ga and some bloke called Gary Go but Ga Ga went doolally and didn’t turn up so we got an extended set from Mr Go. It could have been worse I suppose – it could have been PJ & Duncan.

A future No 1 incoming. For now though, “Think Twice” by Celine Dion is up to No 4 on its 9th week inside the Top 40. It would get held up at No 2 for a further three weeks before finally getting to the chart summit. Its thirteen consecutive weeks rise to the top was a chart record and when it got there it stayed for nearly two months. Why was it so enduring? Well, the UK record buying public had already shown in spectacular fashion in the 90s that it was an utter sucker for big ballads with the towering stretches at the top of the charts of “Love Is All Around” and “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” and “Think Twice” was certainly a big ballad so maybe we shouldn’t have been too surprised by its success. Plus, Celine had already put us on notice of her penchant for a huge love song with her cover of Jennifer Rush’s “The Power Of Love” so she had it in her armoury to inflict some major damage on the charts. Added to all of that, “Think Twice” was written by Andy Hill and Peter Sinfield who had a history when it came to writing UK chart toppers having been responsible for “The Land Of Make Believe” for Bucks Fizz. Even so, the song’s tenure in the charts and slow gestation to becoming a No 1 did seem like an anomaly. I think I’ll leave it at that for now. Seven weeks at No 1? Sheesh!

Becoming more regular than Rishi Sunak reciting his five pledges, here comes another future No 1 and unbelievably it’s worse than Celine Dion’s chart topper. Much worse. We have reached a definite low point in 90s music. The time of Rednex is upon us. Who were these people that were responsible for one of the rottenest singles of the decade? Well, they were a trio of Swedish producers who hit upon the idea / dastardly plot to fuse Eurodance and American country folk music into a diabolical hybrid. The first result of this experiment of the devil was “Cotton Eye Joe”, a bastardised version of “Cotton Eyed Joe”, a 19th century song that possibly had its origins in the slave communities working on plantations in the Deep South. It’s a ridiculous notion cheaply executed.

They needed some stooges to front the single so they recruited this ragtag collection of…well…ragtags. To make the whole project look more authentic, they were given rustic stage names which only made the debacle look more risible. Ace Ratclaw, Boneduster Crock, Ken Tacky and my personal favourite Jiggie McClagganahan were just some of the pseudonyms used. With depressing predictability, “Cotton Eye Joe” went to No 1 all around Europe including the UK where it remained in pole position for three weeks. In fact, it would get to the top of the charts before Celine Dion and would be the record they kept her at No 2 for three consecutive weeks. So, let me get this straight; we are looking at ten weeks at No 1 spilt between records by Rednex and Celine Dion. Yeah, 1995, the year of Britpop my arse!

It’s purveyors of melodic UK rock Thunder next who had been having consistent yet decidedly average sized hits since the start of the decade. Albums wise it was a different story though. Their second album “Laughing On Judgement Day” had gone straight in at No 2 and sold 100,000 copies in 1992/3. This single – “Stand Up” – was the lead single from follow up “Behind Closed Doors” which itself went silver and peaked at No 5. However, “Stand Up” couldn’t disrupt the pattern of middling success for Thunder singles when it peaked at No 23. Of the eighteen UK Top 40 hits the band achieved, none went higher than No 18.

I don’t recall “Stand Up” at all but listening back to it, there’s a definite whiff of “Crazy Horses” by The Osmonds to it. No really, listen to that chugging guitar backing. Well, I guess as a rock band they couldn’t really have done a cover of “Love Me For A Reason” could they?! Ahem.

A true one hit wonder next – one huge, mega smash and then zip, nada, nothing although to be fair to Ini Kamoze, he had been around for years making reggae/dancehall material with the likes of Sly and Robbie before his big commercial breakthrough with “Here Comes The Hotstepper”. I didn’t know any of that at the time though. Like most of us I’m guessing, he was the man with the song that went “naaa na na na naaa etc” who also described himself as a “lyrical gangster” as mentioned by Jack Dee in his intro. You had to give it to Ini, his dancehall/hip-hop/ pop fusion tune was damned catchy but then he had lifted said “naaa” hook from “Land Of 1000 Dances” made most famous by Wilson Pickett.

Two other things spring to my mind when talking about “Here Comes The Hotstepper”. Firstly, its use in one of the worst films I’ve ever had the misfortune to see – PrêtàPorter. A satirical-comedy (supposedly) on the circus that is Paris Fashion Week, it is one of only two films I have ever considered walking out of. The other was Young Einstein starring Yahoo Serious which I did leave before the end and whilst I made it to the end of Prêtà-Porter, it turned out that the two people I went to see it with had spent the entire movie on the verge of leaving as well.

Secondly, and I can find no evidence of this online but I’m sure that it happened, when one of those hit compilations came out around this time that included “Here Comes The Hotstepper”, the track listing didn’t show Ini Kamoze but ‘I’m A Kamikaze’. I swear this happened but 29 years later I can’t remember which hits album it was on. My first thought was the relevant entry in the Now series but all the images online of the track listing for Now 31 show the correct spelling. Maybe it was an error on initial copies and any reorders were corrected? I don’t know but I’m convinced that it happened. “Here Comes The Hotstepper” made No 4 in the UK and was a No 1 record the US.

And so to a band who did feel able to do a cover of The Osmonds’ “Love Me For A Reason” but then Boyzone were hardly Thunder. With Take That still at the height of their commercial appeal at this point, was there really a need or indeed gap in the market for another boy band? Apparently there was as the five, fresh faced Irish lads were up to No 2 with their debut UK hit. Before the 90s were said and done, they would have accrued a further 15 none of which peaked lower than No 4 and included 6 chart toppers. Admittedly, two thirds of them (and all of those No 1s) came after Take That had called it a day (or so we thought) in 1996 and there definitely was an opening down the boy band Job Centre. Even so, despite their obvious credentials for the position, you’d have to say they took full advantage of the opportunity.

The band set out their stall early on with this performance. Ronan Keating was clearly the main guy with his gold coloured jacket while the rest of them are in black but, as co-vocalist, Stephen Gateley gets to share the spotlight alongside Ronan. The other three guys are relegated to the back to spend most of their time doing what can only be described as ‘arm dancing’ – seriously, they hardly move their feet at all during the whole thing. Westlife would take this inaction to a new level when they turned up as the decade was ending and seemed to spend most of their time singing sickly ballads whilst sat on stools.

We end with another boy band (of sorts) as East 17 remain at the top with Christmas No 1 “Stay Another Day”. This was literally the moment when the band were at their peak. A week later they were deposed from their throne by Rednex and they would never return to the chart summit. That’s not to say they weren’t heard of again. 1995 would bring two more hit singles from their “Steam” album plus a third studio album in “Up All Night” with the lead single from it going to No 4. By early 1997 though, Brian Harvey had given that radio interview and things would start to unravel…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The Human LeagueTell Me WhenNope
2PJ & DuncanEternal LoveNah
3Celine DionThink TwiceAs if
4RednexCotton Eye JoeNO!!!
5ThunderStand UpNah
6I’m A Kamikaze Ini KamozeHere Comes The HotstepperNo but I think my wife did
7BoyzoneLove Me For A ReasonNever happening
8East 17 Stay Another DayNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001nq1m/top-of-the-pops-05011995