TOTP 09 APR 1999

As usual, this episode of TOTP is a complete hotchpotch of musical styles and artists. There’s new acts, established ones, returning former Britpop luminaries, the debut of a soon to be rap superstar, a dance track and an almost novelty No 1. Utter chaos. Our host is Jamie Theakston and we start with a hit going down the charts – of course we do. However, I like this one so no Chris Cowey bashing from me this time! Indeed, “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals would prove to be a long term Top 40 resident spending a month in the Top 10, ten weeks inside the Top 20 and over three months on the Top 40 as a whole. I mean, it’s not quite up there with the Steps version of “Tragedy” or “How Will I Live” by LeAnn Rimes but even so.

By way of contrast, what would be the band’s second and final single, the rather excellent “Someday We’ll Know”, spent a meagre two weeks within the Top 100, peaking at No 48. Why the disparity? Well, firstly it took over five months for it to be released. Presumably, this was because of the extended chart life of “You Get What You Give” meaning the band’s record label MCA had to wait for its sales to dissipate before any follow up could be made available. An understandable decision but the consequence of which was that much of the momentum behind the band was lost. Secondly and most impactful though was the press release issued by Gregg Alexander on July 12th informing the world that the New Radicals were breaking up. I’m guessing MCA couldn’t see the point in spending much time or money promoting the single after that although a video was made to accompany it (albeit quite a lacklustre one). So, the New Radicals – they came, they saw, they conquered and then turned their back on it all. A missed opportunity creatively and commercially or an artist who stood proud and firm by his principles and rejected the machinations of the music industry? You decide.

After an exclusive pre-release performance last week (the like of which the show’s captions were just terming as ‘NEW’), Mariah Carey entered the charts at No 16 with “I Still Believe”. It turns out that this was actually a cover version of a song originally recorded by one Brenda K. Starr who had an early career as an R&B singer and a role in the hip-hop film Beat Street but who would go on to be better known as a Latin pop artist. Here’s the real kicker though – Mariah Carey used to be her backing singer. Described by the five-octave vocal ranged one as being her ‘mentrix’, Starr initiated Mariah’s solo career by giving her demo tape to Columbia Records executive (and future Mr Carey) Tommy Mottola. Perhaps as some sort of tribute to Starr, Carey would record her own version of “I Still Believe” 10 years after the original was released.

This story got me thinking…are they any other examples of a former backing singer recording one of the main attraction’s songs? There are plenty of examples of backing singers going into have their own solo careers – Sheryl Crow performed that role for Michael Jackson whilst Luther Vandross did the same for David Bowie for example – but did anyone go that step further and cut their own version of a song they presumably did backing vocals for? The closest I can come up with is Whitney Houston who provided backing vocals for Chaka Khan aged just 15 and then went on to record her own version of the latter’s “I’m Every Woman”. However, she didn’t originally sing on the Chaka original. So unless, Julia Fordham did a version of “Just What I Always Wanted” by Mari Wilson or Eddie Reader gave her take on a Eurythmics number, I’m at a loss.

A curious release next. After racking up three hits over the previous twelve months including a No 1, Another Level’s next move was a double A-side single featuring a cover version and, bizarrely, a remix of their debut hit. What was all this about then? Well, from what I can work out, the strategy behind the release of “Holding Back The Years” / “Be Alone No More” was two pronged. Their take on the Simply Red classic was a charity record with the profits from it going to the Help A London Child project (hence one of the band shouting “Yeah, c’mon…help a London child y’all” during this performance) whilst the revisiting of their debut hit was part of the promotion of a remix album that presumably was to…well, I’m not sure why they felt the need to release a remix album just five months after their debut studio album. To maintain their profile until the second album came out? Seems unlikely given that said album (“Nexus”) arrived five months after the remix album. Was it to showcase their R&B credentials? Whatever the reason, its release was a non event with it peaking at No 76.

As for their take on “Holding Back The Years”, the guy doing lead vocals can certainly sing but it isn’t a patch on the Hucknall original and I say that as someone who for ages couldn’t bear to listen to the Simply Red version. I might have lessened my resolve on that one as time has passed. We’ll be seeing Another Level three more times during these TOTP repeats as said second album would yield a trio of hit singles. Oh great. I think I’ve got the fear. Can someone help me with holding back the fear?

Here’s that dance hit I mentioned at the top of the post. As Jamie Theakston referenced in his intro to this one, Phats & Small were from Brighton and “Turn Around” was the first and biggest of their four UK hits. Now, I think it’s probably quite apparent from the fact that there’s two blokes at the back of the stage spinning the decks behind two huge stacks, one labelled ‘Phats’ and the other ‘Small’ that the bloke up front doing the singing wasn’t, in fact, either Phats or Small. No, he was Ben Ofoedu whose biggest claim to fame might not be his involvement with this track (and subsequent hits) but the fact that he was engaged to broadcaster Vanessa Feltz for 17 years. Their ultimate split was very public with Feltz describing it in detail in her autobiography Vanessa Bares All so I don’t propose to go into that any further. After all this is a music blog not a celebrity gossip column so let’s get back to the music.

“Turn Around” pretty much hit the mark in following the same blueprint that Daft Punk used for side project Stardust’s 1998 hit “Music Sounds Better With You”. Or, to put it another way, it was very repetitive. That didn’t stop it getting to No 2 in the UK charts and becoming a hit all around Europe though. Despite the single’s success and that of subsequent releases, like many dance acts of the time, Phats & Small couldn’t generate much in the way of album sales despite it having one of the best titles ever. A few weeks later in 1999, another duo would take another dance track right up the charts to No 1 but Shanks & Bigfoot couldn’t rival Phats & Small when it came to album titles – “Swings And Roundabouts” was no “Now Phats What I Small Music”.

Time for a returning Britpop luminary now but, in truth, Reef weren’t really Britpop were they? They were a British rock band that happened to be successful in the era of Britpop. And successful they were. A No 1 album and a string of hit singles and yet all I can remember of them is “Place Your Hands” (which I bought) and its follow up “Come Back Brighter”. Oh, and this…

Anyway, I certainly don’t remember “I’ve Got Something To Say” which was the lead single from their third album “Rides”. The two years since last album “Glow” had seen trends change though. For one, Britpop was over and although Reef probably didn’t perceive themselves as being part of it, did that movement’s demise have any effect on their popularity? That proposition is probably a bit of a stretch I have to admit but what is true is that their commercial fortunes did decrease. Sure, “Rides” went Top 3 but it only achieved a fifth of the sales of “Glow”. Listening to “I’ve Got Something To Say” in 2026, I quite like it in a not having to be too engaged type of way but it doesn’t seem to have advanced their sound at all in the time they’d been away and maybe that was the problem? It would prove to be their penultimate UK Top 40 hit. The band are still together today albeit after a seven year hiatus between 2003 and 2010 having last released an album in 2022 which went Top 20. Echoing Jamie Theakston’s comment, I can confirm that they are still hairy. Very hairy.

In case you were wondering, Jamie Theakston’s comments about “Welsh gigs” and “scoring a last minute equaliser” were referencing the fact that Welsh footballer Ryan Giggs had scored in the 92nd minute to grab a 1-1 draw for Manchester United in the first leg of their Champions League semi-final against Juventus two days before this TOTP aired. United would, of course, go into win the Champions League and complete an historic treble that season. I wonder if Theakston nearly said Cantona instead of Catatonia when introducing the Welsh band as the next artist on the show?

Anyway, unlike with Reef, I think I’m safe describing Cerys and co as returning Britpop luminaries (or should that be Cool Cymru stars?). They hadn’t been away as long as Reef – indeed, there was barely 14 months between the albums “International Velvet” and “Equally Cursed And Blessed” – and yet, seen through the perspective of time passed, just like Reef, Catatonia did experience a fall off in commercial success. It didn’t seem like it at the time, of course, as “Equally Cursed And Blessed” followed “International Velvet” to the top of the charts but the plain truth is that the former sold a third of what the latter did despite its lead single “Dead From The Waist Down” becoming the band’s third Top 10 hit. Unlike Reef who sounded pretty similar to how they did two years prior, the new track was quite a departure from previous hits such as “Mulder And Scully” and “Road Rage”. A country tinged ballad, it was almost a sweet song by comparison. It also strikes me, listening to it back, that it’s quite a simple song with some basic chord structures but is embellished with some string flourishes which, alongside Cerys’s distinctive vocal phrasing, make the track.

Despite debuting at No 1 and at one point all three of the band’s albums being in the Top 40, “Equally Cursed And Blessed” didn’t stick around the charts as long as its predecessor though it did record five weeks in the Top 10. “International Velvet”, by comparison, remained there for 18 weeks. Had they rush released a follow up to their best known work too soon? If so, they didn’t make that same mistake again by taking nearly two and a half years to come up with their fourth and final album “Paper Scissors Stone”. The strategy of taking a longer gestation period didn’t work either as it only spent four weeks in the charts before the band split up for good.

And so to the debut of that soon-to-be rap superstar. Twenty seven years on fromhis debut hit, could any of us who were around back then honestly say that they knew that this kid was going to go down in music history as a legend? I’m pretty sure I can’t. A legend he is though and that can’t be denied, regardless of what you think of his music. Just a quick scan of his Wikipedia page is enough to appreciate how big a name and influence this guy is. His discography shows cross-Atlantic No 1 albums with every release helping to make him the best selling music artist in America during the 2000s with global sales exceeding 220 million. The roll call of artists who have cited him as an influence includes Usher, 50 Cent, Ed Sheeran, Drake, Lana Del Ray…the list goes on and on. He’s won 15 Grammy Awards and been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. His song writing has been compared to that of John Lennon whilst his stage presence has been lauded by the likes of Elton John whom he calls a friend. He has been nicknamed the Elvis of hip-hop and is widely recognized for breaking racial barriers for the acceptance of white rappers in popular music. He is…Vanilla Ice! I’M JOKING!!it’s Eminem of course and we see him here at the start of his mega career with “My Name Is”.

Now, I wasn’t sure about this track initially. Firstly, I’m not a rap enthusiast so it would have to be quite something to have taken me with it immediately. It felt a bit…gimmicky? Not authentic? Even Eminem himself is on record as describing it as ‘tongue-in-cheek’ and ‘kitschy’ and that, ultimately, he got tired of performing it. I was also a bit dumb when it came to understanding the ‘Slim Shady’ persona. The opening lines of “Hi, my name is, what? My name is, who? My name is chka-chka, Slim Shady” confused me. Wasn’t his name Eminem? Like I said, I was a bit dumb on that front. However, in the end, I couldn’t resist its catchiness nor ignore its provocative lyrics, so provocative in fact that Eminem’s mother Debbie Mathers filed a $10 million slander lawsuit against her son for insinuating that she did drugs in the line “99% of my life I was lied to, I just found out my mom does more dope than I do”. Even in this sanitised version of the song*, the BBC censors had to make some changes with certain word deemed to be offensive being muffled and even the subtitles are scrambled just to ensure nothing got through the net. Talking of censorship, record label Interscope released a ‘clean’ version of parent album “The Slim Shady LP” but guess what? None of the white , middle class lads shopping at the Our Price in Altrincham where I was working wanted to buy that. Not very street was it? Not very ‘in the hood’.

*Labbi Siffre whose track “I Got The…” is interpolated for “My Name Is” insisted that Eminem change the original lyrics that were sexist and homophobic.

It’s a second week at the top for Mr. Oizo and “Flat Beat” and I don’t know what else to say about this one. Just bizarre. OK, what I will say is that the ‘Flat Eric’ puppet would briefly look as if it was going to be the next huge merchandising opportunity. Certainly HMV chain’s Simon Winter said at the time that the little yellow puppet was creating demand for anything with its image reproduced on it and that it had the potential to rival South Park as that year’s big seller. I have to say that I don’t recall ‘Flat Eric Fever’ happening in any significant way and certainly don’t remember the Our Price store in Altrincham selling any such merchandise. Was it a licensing issue? If so, somebody holds the rights now as a quick search of the internet shows ‘Flat Eric’ T-shirts, hoodies, mugs and socks. However, it seems that a toy or puppet of the little yellow fella is only available via vintage websites or as pre-owned items suggesting that nobody is manufacturing them anymore and that somebody indeed did have the licence to produce and sell them back in the day. Now I come to think of it, wasn’t there one in an episode of The Office? I think there was when David Brent was showing someone new around. So there you go. The sharp, cultural impact of Flat Eric writ large.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1New RadicalsYou Get What You GiveYES!
2Mariah CareyI still BelieveNo thanks
3Another LevelHolding Back The Years” / “Be Alone No MoreNever
4Phats & SmallTurn AroundNah
5ReefI’ve Got Something To SayNegative
6CatatoniaDead From The Waist DownNope
7EminemMy Name IsNo
8Mr. OizoFlat BeatI did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002r8hl/top-of-the-pops-09041999

TOTP 02 APR 1999

We have a new host on display in this TOTP, one who seemed to buck the trend of presenters being recruited by executive producer Chris Cowey from a non-radio background. Jamie Theakston and Jayne Middlemiss were from youth TV programme The O-Zone whilst Kate Thornton had a journalism background and Gail Porter came from Children’s BBC Scotland. However, Scott Mills was a radio person, a good, old fashioned DJ, the likes of whom you don’t get on the airwaves much these days apart from…well, Scott Mills. With Radio 2’s schedules populated by celebrities rather than professional disc jockeys including such names as Paddy McGuinness, Romesh Ranganathan, Michael Ball and Rylan Clark, Mills still carry the torch for time served DJs who haven’t just adopted radio as another string to their bow off the back of existing fame. Mills began his career at 16 working for commercial radio until, in 1999 at the age of 26 he was presenting the early breakfast show (4-7 am) on Radio 1. Cowey obviously thought this qualified Mills for a shot at hosting TOTP and so here he was with his face on our TVs in full technicolour rather than just a disembodied voice on our radios. All power to him and his continued high profile career which has taken him to the coveted position of presenting the breakfast show on Radio 2.

Having said all of that, I’m not the biggest Scott Mills fan. I just don’t warm to him. When I have seen him on TV such as on the celebrity version of Race Across The World, I found him almost unlikeable. He seems to me to have been very lucky to have reached the heights he has in his chosen career. Maybe I’ve misjudged him though. Let’s see how he did all those years ago as a debutant TOTP host…

Well, you’ve got to feel for the guy here. His debut on the BBC’s legendary pop music show and the first act on that he has to comment on are this pile of shite! I’ve had executive producer Chris Cowey pegged as many things but cruel wasn’t one of them…until now. I must have blanked this lot from my memory as an act of mental self-defence and to save my mortal soul from torment. “Witch Doctor” by Cartoons must be up there as one of the worst hits of the decade if not of all time. Originally a hit in the 50s for Ross Bagdasarian under the stage name of David Seville, the song was given an extra dimension when Bagdasarian created a trio of singing chipmunks who would become Alvin And The Chipmunks and inflict their squeaking voices on the world. If that wasn’t enough, novelty Danish band Cartoons whose USP was to update 50s songs with their self-styled ‘technobilly’ sound (basically adding a Eurodance backing) and wear ridiculously OTT stage costumes based on the old ‘Teddy Boy’ look, got their hands on “Witch Doctor” in the late 90s. Sensing that the track’s nonsensical “oo-ee-oo-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla, bing-bang” chorus would fit perfectly with their outlandish image and brand of cartoonish pop music, the band recorded a version and released it to huge success in the UK where it landed at No 2. What were we thinking?! Was anybody who bought this thinking at all?! Who was buying this slop and why?! Was it all just tiny kids and weeny boppers?! If so, where were the parents and why didn’t they stop them?! The single really should have come with ‘Parental Advisory’ warning stickers that stated ‘Allowing your young child to buy this record will rot their brains and significantly damage their credibility rating once they grow up’. Talking of which, Devo did a version of this which featured on the soundtrack to The Rugrats Movie which I based the whole of my last post on. I don’t think either Devo or myself should ever mention that again.

I’m no Des’ree expert but I’m sure that this single – “You Gotta Be” – had been a hit before 1999.

*checks official charts website*

I was right! Not only had it been a hit before but it had been a hit twice before! Look at this:

  • April 1994 – No 20
  • March 1995 – No 14

and now this

  • April 1999 – No 10

What was all this about then? Well, it was originally released as the lead single from Des’ree’s second album “I Ain’t Movin’” but after being a modest hit, it was given a second chance after it became a Top 5 hit in America resulting in an improved chart position of six places. Then five years, five singles and one album later, it was back again, this time making the Top 10. So what happened in 1999 that made it a hit for the third time? Do I really have to tell you? I do? OK, it was used in an advert of course and yet again it was a car advert:

Off the back of that exposure, record label Sony decided to strike while the iron was hot and rerelease “You Gotta Be” for a quick cash in and fair enough. However, the decision to the add the track to Des’ree’s current album “Supernatural” was cynical in the extreme. As a means of maintaining Des’ree’s momentum following the success of its lead single “Life” it made sense but to blatantly tack a five year old song onto to an artist’s new album? Nah, that, as the kids today would say, was stinky. There’s probably loads more to say about the song itself so I will refer you to my earlier comments from when it was a hit in 1995:

Next up is one of the few songs that I ever bought on day one of its release. This means it must have had loads of pre-sale airplay for me to have been aware of it so early I’m guessing. That promotion clearly worked on me as I love “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals. In many ways it is the crystallisation of what appeals to me in a pop/rock song – a synthesis of a hook laden melody, a propelling rhythm and intriguing lyrics (more of which later). This one was a winner from the off for me and I was always going to fall for its charms. If this debut single was anything to go by then the band, centred around the songwriting duo of Greg Alexander and Danielle Brisebois, seemed destined for greatness. It didn’t turn out that way. One album and one follow up single was all that they released prior to splitting before 1999 was up.

Alexander is an interesting character. Raised in a conservative Jehovah’s Witness household, he joined his first band aged just 14 before signing to A&M Records two years later and released two solo albums to little acclaim or profile. However, the formation of New Radicals, which was essentially a vehicle to platform his and Brisebois’s songwriting, proved to be a stars-aligning moment. Their album “Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too” would go platinum in the US and reach the Top 10 over here. Some of the song titles within it indicated that the Alexander/Brisebois partnership operated outside of the norms of musical composition. Look at these:

  • “Mother We Just Can’t Get Enough”
  • “I Hope I Didn’t Just Give Away the Ending”
  • “Jehovah Made This Whole Joint for You”
  • “Crying Like a Church on Monday”

Music press reviews of the album were overwhelmingly positive and cited a host of musical influences including Hall & Oates, Phil Spector, Style Council, Prince, Todd Rundgren and even Chumbawamba whilst noting lyrics that challenged the commercialisation of the Western world and the influence of the media and religion. None of this seemed to mean much to Alexander though who, within three months of this TOTP appearance, called time on the New Radicals in favour of concentrating on songwriting and production for other artists. It proved to be a financially beneficial decision with Alexander going on to work with the likes of Geri Halliwell, Rod Stewart, Enrique Iglesias and Texas. Some of his most notable co-authored hits include Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s “Murder On The Dance Floor” and Ronan Keating’s “Life Is A Rollercoaster”. Artists definitely not on his list of collaborations would be Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson whom he infamously called fakes and threatened to kick their asses in the closing lyrics to “You Get What You Give”. Here are those lyrics in full:

“Health insurance, rip off lying
FDA, big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they’re multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson
You’re all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around, we’ll kick your ass in”

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Gregg Alexander / Rick Nowels

You Get What You Give lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Spirit Music Group

Alexander wrote those words to test whether the media would concern themselves with the serious political issues of the opening lines or the faux celebrity bashing that followed. Predictably, it was the latter which captured the headlines proving Alexander’s suspicion about media manipulation and priorities. Supposedly the celebrities mentioned in those lyrics didn’t take permanent umbrage though Marilyn Manson reportedly commented that he didn’t mind that Alexander said he’d kick his ass in but objected to being named in the same sentence as Courtney Love!

In the end, despite all his pushback against the media and music industry operations, Alexander found himself jumping through the same hoops to promote his hit that he’d rallied against and lost any remaining faith in the project. His adoption of a low worn hat to cover his face whilst performing (as per this TOTP appearance) was to hide his lack of enthusiasm for what he was doing. Ultimately, he’d gotten back what he’d given to the New Radicals and chose another path leaving us with one memorable hit and an album that deserved more recognition.

After three uptempo, dance-pop tunes on the spin, it was time for Billie to stop revolving and deliver a more mature sounding, slower song. Partly to mix things up a bit but also because, you know, she wanted to. Probably. Anyway, the almost* title track from her album was chosen for the job and so “Honey To The Bee” became her fourth consecutive hit.

*The album was actually called “Honey To The B”.

Now, perhaps the obvious thing to do here was release a big, string laden ballad to showcase Billie’s range and diversity but what we actually got was her best impression of All Saints as, and there’s no getting away from this, “Honey To The Bee” is essentially “Never Ever Pt II”. I suppose it wasn’t the worst idea in the world to copy one of the most successful singles of the past 18 months but when even Scott Mills described Billie as having gone “all saintly” in his intro, well, it can’t have been any more obvious. Ms Piper pulls off the steal/homage (delete as appropriate) competently but it’s peak of No 3 and subsequent spiral down the charts and out of the Top 40 within a month suggests it was never destined to have the enduring appeal of “Never Ever”. I guess you just can’t beat the original sometimes.

We’re at the midway point of the show so let’s do a half-term report on Scott Mills and his performance so far. Well, he hasn’t done anything wrong but he’s hardly got a scintillating screen presence has he? Must do better in the second half. A grade of C minus I think is appropriate. Back to the music and a song that was very popular with the staff at the Our Price in Altrincham where I was working at the time and when I say the staff I mean the female staff. Having reached commercial and critical mass with second album “CrazySexyCool” and its attendant hits “Creep” and “Waterfalls”, TLC were faced with the task of making good on that success and they gave it decent shot with third album “Fanmail”. Though it only achieved half of what its predecessor sold, 10 million copies shifted worldwide is not to be sniffed at.

Its lead single was “No Scrubs”. An American No 1 and double Grammy winner, the song’s lyrics seemed to describe the position of a woman who wasn’t going to just settle for any man just to avoid being single which sounds fair enough to me. However, the term ‘scrub’ and the perceived demonising of men with limited money and romantic vocabulary sparked a divisive response and even triggered a series of answer records , most notably by Sporty Thievz and their hit “No Pigeons”. Personally, I think that strand of reaction is a bit rich considering the misogyny that persisted in some R&B and rap music. “No Scrubs” was the first time that Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas sang lead vocals on a TLC single and its tone, rightly or wrongly, brought comparisons with Madonna’s “Material Girl” and Gwen Guthrie’s “Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But The Rent”. It’s also the second song on this particular TOTP that my wife really liked alongside Billie’s “Honey To The Bee”. I’m not sure if anything should be read into that.

An ‘exclusive’ performance now from Mariah Carey who is still plugging her Best Of album “#1’s” with another new track called “I Still Believe”. Her last single, a duet with Whitney Houston from the soundtrack to The Prince Of Egypt movie, was called “When You Believe” – it’s like she was constructing a conversation between two people about their belief systems. Anyway, Mariah was still going through an identity crisis by this point in terms of whether she was a power balladeer or an R&B dance diva which is reflected in the fact that the album version of the track conforms to the former whilst the performance of it she gives here is definitely of the latter persuasion. Having listened to both, I’d have to say I’m not arsed about either construct.

The video for the ballad version sees Mariah recreate Marilyn Monroe’s 1953 performance for US troops stationed in Korea. It’s not very convincing despite Mariah being styled to look like Marilyn. However, I did note one detail that completely dates it which is someone in the crowd trying to take a picture of Mariah with a disposable camera. Remember them? Are they still a thing? They seemed to be predominantly used at weddings where one would be put on each table at the meal for guests themselves to take photos which would then go into the the happy couple’s photo album of the day. Of course today, everyone at that Mariah video shoot would just have their mobile phones out. They were simpler times back then.

I have moaned and criticised, criticised and moaned in this blog about the Chris Cowey era and the practice of repeatedly reshowing hits that were coming down the charts. It’s maybe because I grew up watching TOTP in the late 70s and 80s when the rules were that you couldn’t secure a place on the show’s running order if your song was going down the charts. I have tried to see the arguments for it – week one record company discounting subverting the charts and creating false peaks and troughs – but this example of the exercise really is unfathomable and inexcusable. “Blame It On The Weatherman” by B*Witched was No 1 last week and so rightly featured on the show. This week, it’s been torpedoed from its reign at the top and resides at No 9. Quite the fall down the charts. So why was a performance of it on our TVs again?! Come on Cowey? Explain yourself! Talk your way out of this one! From No 1 to No 9! Surely such a downward motion did not deserve more exposure?! It equalled the decade’s biggest fall from the top previously held by Iron Maiden’s Bring Your Daughter… To The Slaughter” in January 1991. Even if it was some sort of quid pro quo arrangement, said promotion didn’t stop the single’s slide down the Top 40. These were its next four chart positions:

14 – 19 – 24 – 35

Neither did its parent album benefit much in terms of a resurgence up the charts so what was it all about? Well, looking at the new entries this week, maybe there weren’t that many viable other options. Of the other four entries in the chart (not counting the new No 1), three were dance acts – System F, Sash! and Aphex Twin – which the show had historically struggled to get the staging right for whilst the fourth was a bit niche – the Brian Setzer Orchestra with their swing revival hit “Jump Jive N’ Wail”. Furthermore, given the…erm…unusual nature of the new No 1 and the fact that there’s already been a novelty hit opening the show, perhaps that topping and tailing required something a bit more mainstream in the middle. Hang on…am I making an excuse for Cowey here when I should actually blame it on him?

Having worked in record shops since late 1990, by April of 1999, I was less than 12 months away from leaving it all behind me and becoming a civil servant (what was I thinking?!). I was nearly 32 by the time I finally left but I really should have read the signs much earlier that it was time for me to go. One of those signs was “Flat Beat” by Mr. Oizo. I just didn’t get it. How could a track that was basically anti-music inspire such adoration and sales, enough to take it to No 1?! Yes, of course there was the fact that this sparse track, which was basically a repeated bass loop and drum sample, was backed by the weight of the huge promotion machine that was a Levi’s ad campaign (to promote their new range of Sta-Press clothing) and yes, it was fronted by a yellow puppet (put together by Muppets creator Jim Henson) which added to its novelty value but the track itself was almost unlistenable wasn’t it? Well wasn’t it?! Was it being played in clubs? Did it make more sense in that environment? How could anyone listen to it in the privacy of their own home for enjoyment? As I said, I just didn’t get it.

So who was Mr. Oizo? He was Quentin* Dupieux, a French electronic musician, record producer, songwriter and filmmaker who used the pseudonym of Mr. Oizo to promote his musical output. Apparently, it only took him two hours to come up with “Flat Beat”, a claim I can well believe.

*Hence the only ‘lyric’ in it being “Oh yeah, I used to know Quentin…He’s a real…he’s a real jerk”

The one thing I did like about this whole nonsense was that Scott Mills managed to raise his debut TOTP performance up a notch by re-enacting one of those Levi’s ads and featuring alongside Flat Eric. Worthy of a B grade I think.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1CartoonsWitch DoctorI’d rather eat my own arm
2Des’reeYou Gotta BeNo
3New RadicalsYou Get What You GiveYES! On day one too!
4BillieHoney To The BeeNope
5TLCNo ScrubsI didn’t
6Mariah CareyI Still BelieveI don’t though – no
7B*WitchedBlame It On The WeathermanNah
8Mr. OizoFlat BeatNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002r8hj/top-of-the-pops-02041999

TOTP 12 JUN 1998

It’s the Summer of 1998 and there’s only one game in town – the World Cup. Yes, France ‘98 is in full swing and, despite only starting two days before this TOTP aired, Scotland have lost a game already! It was hardly the embarrassment many were expecting (or hoping for if you were English maybe) going down 2-1 to the reigning champions and pre-tournament favourites Brazil to a late own goal. England are there as well for the first time since Italia ‘90 and after the hysteria and heartache of the Euros ‘96 tournament, expectations for Glenn Hoddle’s squad were high despite the omission of Gazza.

Now, before you all start thinking I’ve turned this blog into a football fest (again), there’s a valid reason why I mention the World Cup which is the plethora of football themed hits that it generated in the UK Top 40. There’s two on this show but there’ll be a further three on the following week’s as well. Of course, football related songs were nothing new. Going right back to 1970 and the England World Cup Squad’s No 1 “Back Home”, there have always been attempts to merge the two worlds of football and music, some successful, some dreadful. 1972 saw my beloved Chelsea riding high in the charts with “Blue Is The Colour” whilst the 80s saw teams competing in the FA Cup final regularly releasing singles to mark the occasion. Who can forget the cringeworthy “Ossie’s Dream” from 1981 and that line from Spurs legend Ossie Ardilles “In the cup for Tottingham”? Into the 90s, we had the unspeakably awful “Come On You Reds” by Manchester United which topped the charts but at other end of the scale, we also had the sublime “World In Motion” by New Order. Then, of course, came Euro ‘96 and terrace anthem “Three Lions” – we would never see the end of that particular hit. So what are the class of ‘98 football songs like? Let’s find out with our host Jo Whiley (who is a Spurs fan – boo!)…The football songs are coming (I promise/warn you) but we start with two established Top 10 hits that have already been on the show previously beginning with “Horny ‘98” by Mousse T featuring Hot ‘N’ Juicy.

Despite just being on the previous week, I’d saved a couple of tidbits to wheel out for future appearances starting with the fact that it was included on “Chef Aid: The South Park” album. Around the end of 1998, the animated sitcom South Park became a TV ratings sensation and made household names of its four protagonists Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. Known for its profane, dark and satiric humour, it soon gained a reputation for being outrageous beyond the normal standards of broadcasting decency. It was also fabulously funny and to this day continues to push the boundaries by being a constant thorn in the side of man-baby Donald Trump.

The Our Price chain for whom I worked stocked all the show’s merchandise and, of course, the album and hit single “Chocolate Salty Balls” by Chef which would appear at Christmas. We could never play the album in store because of the Parental Advisory sticker but, having found the version on the album with the conversation between show creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker and the character of Sid Greenfield (America’s Most Wanted director) bracketing it, that version is much more palatable.

However, that’s nothing compared to this almighty mashup that appeared in 2006 that blended the track with “Bohemian Like You” by The Dandy Warhols. I’d never been aware of this until now but this is truly epic…

The second song we’ve seen before comes from Lutricia McNeal who is marooned outside of the Top 5 but still in the Top 10 at No 7 this week with “Stranded”. There really isn’t that much to say about this one and indeed, Lutricia doesn’t have the biggest online presence with even her Wikipedia page’s last update on her whereabouts being as long ago as 2011. As such, I’m forced to bang on again about how unusual her first name is. According to the mynamestats.com website, only 785 people in the whole of America are called Lutricia making the name the 10,377th most popular. That means there are 0.25 people per every 100,000 Americans called Lutricia. Even the name Lucretia with all its connotations is more popular. There is a singer called Lucretia – Lucretia Death whose LinkedIn bio refers to ‘vampiric longing’, ‘eternal darkness’ and ‘unholy ascension’! Gulp! Don’t fancy being stranded with her!

Still no football songs! Perhaps I should have realised that there was another trend going on in the charts which was the amount of female artists having hits at this time. Following Lutricia McNeal here’s Shania Twain (and there are two more solo artists and an all girl group at No 1 to come). In my head, Shania’s run of hits started with “You’re Still The One”, continued with “That Don’t Impress Me Much” and culminated in “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!”. It turns out that these are just the ones I know and not a reliable account of her discography as there are other hits in that run and loads after it as well. Should I be embarrassed by my lack of Shania knowledge? I’ll live with it thanks. Anyway, one of those hits that I missed out was “When” which having heard it, does sound faintly familiar, presumably because of its catchy hooks. The lyrics however…I mean. Really? Look at these…

“I’d love to wake up smiling, full of the joys of Spring

And hear on CNN that Elvis lives again

And that John’s back with The Beatles and they’re going out on tour

I’ll be the first in line for tickets

Gotta see that show for sure

Songwriters: Robert John Lange, Shania Twain
When lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

Is it me or do they seem a little bit…unsophisticated? Is that the right word? Clunky maybe? Ham-fisted? I don’t want to come across as a pseud or condescending but I think I prefer a bit more mystery in my lyrics. Maybe I’m missing the point of Shania though which, according to Jo Whiley, is that she’s gorgeous describing her as “drool-inducing” and instructing us to wipes our mouths after her performance. Really Jo?!

It’s another female solo artist now with her second hit single but that term is a complete antonym for the product she released. Nothing to do with the title of her song which was called “Gimme Love” but rather the amount of versions and mixes that were made of it. I’m talking about Alexia whose debut hit “Uh La La La” had made the Top 10 in March which itself had been the subject of multiple remixes that were commissioned by her record company Sony in an attempt to launch their artist in Europe. “Gimme Love” took it to another level with 20 different versions listed on its Wikipedia page. Single? They should have promoted it as a ‘multiple’.

Now apparently “Gimme Love” is an example of Europop whereas “Uh La La La” was classified as Eurodance and the shift of genre disappointed her fan base. I can’t say I’m expert enough to be able to pinpoint the differences but what I can say is that “Gimme Love” is repetitive in the extreme which also renders it rather insubstantial – in my humble opinion of course. The initial pressings of the single contained a listing error showing the title as “Gimmi Love” which is rather appropriate as the word ‘Alexia’ can refer to an acquired reading disorder characterised by the inability to read.

We’ve finally got to a football song but this one was not a typical example of the genre. “Don’t Come Home Too Soon” was the official World Cup song of the Scotland squad and was recorded by Del Amitri providing the band with what would be their final Top 20 hit. Eschewing the traditional notion of the singalong football song, this was a slow ballad and, in truth, a rather mournful one and I say that as someone who is quite partial to a bit of Del Amitri. If it’s sound was mournful then its lyrics were positively pessimistic (if it’s possible to be such a thing) referring to the team as “long shots” and saying that the rest of the word “may not be shaking yet” and limiting Scotland’s chances to not being on “that stupid plane” and not coming home too soon. Not winning the damn thing, just staying a bit longer than usual. In fairness, that probably was the limit of their ambitions given that they’d never (and still haven’t) got past the group stage of any major tournament. Even so, the song didn’t go down that well with some of the Tartan Army. I’m sure I read something about lead singer Justin Currie saying he’d been abused in the street for writing such a negative song. As for Jo Whiley’s hope in her intro that Scotland would stuff Norway and Morocco, they drew 1-1 to the former and got hammered 0-3 by the latter leaving them bottom of Group A and on that ‘stupid plane’ home that Del Amitri feared.

Heck, we really were in the era of ‘lad culture’ back in the late 90s weren’t we? In her intro to yet another female artist on tonight’s show, Jo Whiley says “a woman who’ll always get her tassels out for the lads, this is Mariah Carey”. Or does she say “tonsils” not tassels? The subtitles say ‘tassels’. Either way, you were better than this Jo surely?! Or was she perhaps using irony to undermine the “get your t**s out for the lads” line? Nah, I think she was going along with the predominant narrative.

Anyway, Mariah is here with her new single “My All” which was taken from her “Butterfly” album the lead single from which (“Honey”) had combined hip-hop and R&B and gone Top 3. Its follow up – the album’s title track – was a pop gospel ballad which had only managed a high of No 22. As a result, Mariah edged her bets with her next release as “My All” is both a ballad and an R&B dance track. The first 2:20 of the track is in a slow paced, whispered vocals style reminiscent of Toni Braxton but with Latin guitars before the bpm winds up (the subtitles literally say ‘Beat kicks in, audience cheers’) and Mariah gets almost hysterical proclaiming she’d risk her life to feel someone’s body. Blimey!

The blending of styles worked and gave Ms Carey a No 4 hit here and yet another Stateside chart topper. As with Alexia before her, there were loads of different mixes of the track to accommodate every radio station sub genre and she also recorded a Spanish version but the first line of that version was mistranslated and was grammatically incorrect. As a blogger, I can confirm that these things matter you know.

And so we get to the second football song of the night and like Del Amitri’s, it’s also the official World Cup song for a competing nation but this time England. After the terrace anthem and official song that was “Three Lions” just two years prior for Euro ‘96, the English FA wanted to go in a different direction for the ‘98 World Cup. The result was “(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The World” by England United who were Echo and the Bunnymen, Ocean Colour Scene, Space and, rather inexplicably, the Spice Girls. The song was written by Ian McCulloch and Johnny Marr though the latter wasn’t officially part of England United. The reaction to it was overwhelmingly negative. ‘You can’t sing it on the terraces’ seemed to be the main complaint about it but I think, in truth, its major failing was that it wasn’t “Three Lions”, a song so durable, it still to this day gets trotted out for every international tournament. Indeed, the first reworking of it would will be along in the next repeat and would easily outsell “(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The World” reaching No 1 again. According to Wikipedia, when the latter was played at Wembley in a pre-World Cup friendly, the crowd that day booed it.

Going against national taste once more, I quite liked the England United effort. Sure, it wasn’t much of a football song but it was a decent track. It’s nicely constructed and has an uplifting, soar away chorus. I wonder actually, if it was ultimately rejected as a potential Echo and the Bunnymen release for being too pop? As for the other artists on the record, I’m not entirely sure what linked them altogether. OK, you could draw a very basic line between The Bunnymen, Space and Ocean Colour Scene as being rock/pop groups whose paths might have crossed at some point or another? The first two were both Liverpool bands of course so there might be a potential association there but the Spice Girls? Mel C was another scouser so was there a link there? Talking of the Spice Girls, as with the “Viva Forever” performance the other week, this TOTP appearance was also clearly recorded some time previous to its broadcast date as the recently departed Geri Halliwell features and executive producer Chris Cowey must have thought himself doubly lucky to have another bit of film with Ginger Spice there in the ranks still. She doesn’t look too unhappy with her lot in life, bouncing around deliriously alongside Mel C and Emma Bunton. If anything you might have thought Victoria and Mel B were the ones potentially uncommitted to the cause, separated from the other three on the other side of Ian McCulloch and Simon Fowler of Ocean Colour Scene and turning in a much more reserved performance. So there you have it. England United. The forgotten English football song. I don’t see it being revived any time soon.

B*Witched remain at No 1 with “C’est La Vie”. Watching this performance back, it’s clear that they were being promoted as purveyors of bouncy, good time, care free pop music. The catchy tune, the hyper-energetic dance routine…and yet behind the image, as all too often happens, there was sadness, despair and dark times. The ridiculously long days the group would work and their relentless schedule was sometimes too much. So much that in the case of Keavy Lynch, it would cause a major mental health issue.

Keavy is an interesting figure in pop being an identical twin whose sister was chosen as the focal point of an internationally successful group over her. That must mess with your head! Are there any other cases of this? The Proclaimers are identical twins but they very much come as a pair and are seen as a unit. I love The Proclaimers and I’m not sure I know which one is which! Bros? Again, I’m not sure that the screams and adulation were reserved just for singer Matt Goss. As the vocalist, I guess he commanded more profile than his drummer brother Luke but they had a ready made stooge in bassist Craig ‘Ken’ Logan. Maybe the other B*Witched members Lindsay Armaou and Sinead O’Carroll felt aggrieved as well as Keavy but they didn’t have the mind f**k that the chosen lead singer looked exactly like them. Having to sing a song called “C’est La Vie” just twisted the knife a little deeper.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Mousse T featuring Hot ‘N’ JuicyHorny ’98No
2Lutricia McNealStrandedNah
3Shania TwainWhenAbsolutely not
4Alexia Gimme LoveNope
5Del AmitriDon’t Come Home To SoonNo but I had it on a Best Of album of theirs
6Mariah CareyMy AllBig NO
7England United(How Does It Feel) To Be On Top Of The WorldIt’s another no
8B*WitchedC’Est La VieAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 12 SEP 1997

I’ve decided that this post will be a Diana’s death free zone on account of it having dominated the last two and that we still have weeks of the Elton John single to come. Right then, let’s get to it starting with tonight’s presenter. Now, I thought that, under executive producer Chris Cowey, the ‘golden mic’ feature where a celebrity would host the show had been done away with and replaced with a roster of young BBC presenters sourced from their existing youth TV output. So why is comedian Mark Lamarr on hosting duty this week? Well, maybe he was considered as a member of the extended BBC family or an associate member if you like seeing as he was a regular on two of the corporation’s popular panel games Shooting Stars and Never Mind The Buzzcocks at the time. Anyway, our host he is and he will lead us through tonight’s acts in a similarly dismissive manner to his Buzzcocks demeanour. Well, did we expect anything else?

We start with Hanson who were only on last week but are back again as they have shot into the charts at No 4 with “Where’s The Love”. I recently met up with a friend with whom I discussed my blog and admitted that after nearly nine years of writing it that occasionally the creative juices can run dry. I summed this position up by saying “Sometimes I ask myself ‘what more can I say about Hanson?’”. And so here I am facing that very question. OK, how about this? Somebody on Twitter described Hanson as ‘Kula Shaker meets The Osmonds’ which I thought was pretty clever but he followed it up with ‘Tuneless meets unlistenable’ which I thought wasn’t. What was unlistenable were some of the comments that drummer Zac made on his Pinterest account in 2020 which were described by Ashley Spencer of Vice Media as “a trove of pro-gun memes many of which were racist, transphobic, homophobic and sexist”. Three years later, Zac Hanson was appointed as a deacon in the Georgian Orthodox Church under the name Father Mercurios. Form your own opinions. I had to.

In the last post, I posited the theory that Ocean Colour Scene had become serial chart stars by 1997 based on the peaks of their last half a dozen or so singles. The same logic could also be applied to Cast. Check out the placings of their last six hits below:

8 – 9 – 4 – 7 – 9 – 7

The last of those was “Live The Dream”, the third single released from their sophomore album “Mother Nature Calls”. It’s a fairly laid back, strolling type number that’s quite pleasant though, on reflection, I’m kind of surprised was considered suitable for release as a single. Its chart high would suggest I don’t know what I’m taking about*. However, I’m pretty sure all of those peaks were achieved in their first week of sales when they would have been discounted as new releases so was it more a reflection of their growing fanbase than the hit potential of the song?

*Actually, I did my dissertation at polytechnic on what makes a hit record a hit record – I think I called it something one the lines of ‘The Mechanics of the Music Industry’. Something wanky like that. Does that mean I did know what I was talking about? Of course not as I came to no valid conclusions. Obviously.

For the aforementioned question “What more can I say about Hanson?”, repeat for Tina Moore. Well, The Guardian no less ranked her hit “Never Gonna Let You Go” at No 11 in their list of ‘The best UK garage tracks – ranked!’ in 2019 which I guess shouldn’t be disregarded assuming that sort of thing means something to you (it doesn’t to me). As for this performance, this is just a repeat of her previous appearance from the other week which Mark Lamarr had clearly watched before his stint as host as he takes the piss out of a part of it that I hadn’t picked up on before. “In the middle of this next track, Tina Moore does some of the snappiest footwork I’ve ever seen since Bambi learned to walk but watch very carefully as it might be too fast for the human eye” he warns. What follows, via a camera situated underneath the glass podium Tina is performing on, are some of the slowest, most plodding shoe shuffle moves ever witnessed on prime time TV!

Next up is Finley Quaye with his second hit single “Even After All”. The follow up to “Sunday Shining”, it would be his biggest ever peaking at No 10. It was again more of that soul/reggae fusion sound on which he made his name with a meandering groove that was perfect for whiling away whatever was left of the weekend after a big night out on the Saturday. Finley’s affectation here for singing with one arm behind his back confused me at first glance and left me asking the question “Finley Quaye didn’t have just one arm did he?”. Of course he didn’t so with that issue resolved my next query was “What is he wearing?”. The 60s went that way *points behind him* Finley!

My final question to myself was “How did I not know at the time that his nephew was trip-hop artist Tricky?”. The clue was right there in the title of Tricky’s album “Maxinquaye” which was literally the name of his Mum (minus an ‘e’) – Maxine Quaye who is Finley’s half-sister. Apparently the family ties are quite distant though – Finley and Tricky didn’t actually meet until 1996.

Here comes the next instalment of the curious tale of Kavana the pop star. I find his story* peculiar because on the one hand, he could have been extraordinarily successful with his classic teen heart-throb looks and catchy pop tunes and on the other, on another day, you look at him and think “How did this bloke become a pop star?” so insubstantial was he.

*Apparently he has an ‘explosive’ autobiography coming out later this year. I’m not so intrigued by his story that I would shell out good money for that though!

For the record, come 1997, Kavana was at the peak of his fame with two Top 10 hits under his belt and a Smash Hits award for Best Male Artist on his mantelpiece. Given all of this, the decision was taken to maintain his career momentum by rereleasing his debut single “Crazy Chance” which had been a minor hit in 1996. Given a remix and retitled as “Crazy Chance ‘97”, it would do the job efficiently enough by returning a No 16 chart peak. It was co-written by Take That’s Howard Donald but I don’t think I’d own up to that if I was Howard as it sounds like an Eternal B-side at best.

Now, what was going on with the staging of this performance? All that hazy camera focus and wobbly, garishly coloured ‘green screen’ effect behind Kavana? Many of the TOTP online community came up with the theory that it must have been a nod to or in joke with Mark Lamarr referencing his time on The Word the look of which Chris Cowey seems to be trying to recreate. Had he taken inspiration for the controversial Channel 4 show or was he just trying out something new?

Maybe Cowey was indeed trying to be inventive as we stick with the ‘green screen’ effect for the next act who are NTyce. That’s N-Tyce, not ‘N Sync nor N-Joi but N-Tyce…yeah, I’ve got no idea either. Apparently they had four UK Top 20 hits though of which this one, “We Come To Party” was their second and biggest. I’m sure it’s not as clear cut a divide as this but it did superficially seem like the first part of the 90s were all about boybands whilst the second part was the turn of all girl groups. Eternal, All Saints and of course the Spice Girls are names that trip easily off the tongue but N-Tyce? They would surely have been a perfect choice for the ‘identity parade’ round in the aforementioned Never Mind The Buzzcocks. As if that wasn’t enough indignity, there were those tours supporting Boyzone and Peter Andre that Mark Lamarr mentions in his link – “so it is true there’s always someone worse off than you” he closes his segue with. He’s not wrong though is he?

Just as with Tina Moore earlier, the next performance is just a re-showing of an earlier appearance on the show as we get Mariah Carey and “her wobbly legged sailors” again as Lamarr puts it. I like the way he plays along with the all too easily seen through deception that Mariah is actually there in the studio by craning his neck as if to get a better view. His shout of “Go on love!” is the icing on the cake. I have nothing else to say about her song “Honey” except that it was her 13th of 19 US No 1 singles! *Nineteen!

*You’ve got that Paul Hardcastle song in your head now haven’t you?

Even Lamarr has to stop his cynic act to prostrate himself at the altar of this week’s No 1. After crossing over into the mainstream with “Bitter Sweet Symphony”, The Verve really hit the big time with follow up “The Drugs Don’t Work”. A ballad that redefined melancholy, it was either written about Richard Ashcroft’s father-in-law who passed away after having cancer or his own Dad who died of a blood clot when Ashcroft was just 11 years old – depends which story you believe. One which I’m not sure that I believe is that its success was somehow fuelled by the mood of the nation which was in mourning over the death of Diana, Princess of Wales…Damn! I said I wasn’t going to mention it! Oh well, I nearly made it through the whole post. The theory goes that with the single having been released the day after Diana died, the public were more open to “The Drugs Don’t Work” than they perhaps might have been, that they connected with it more if you like, and bought it in enough copies to send it to No 1 for a week. Just a week mind as then “Candle In The Wind ‘97” would have been in the shops and all bets were off. It was, in effect, a makeshift chart topper until the real mania could take place courtesy of Elton John. I’m just not having that. I just don’t think that those people that were literally buying armfuls of the Elton single at a time would have also bought a song by an indie band, no matter how melancholy it was.

Now I can’t find any reference to it online anywhere but wasn’t there someone within the Irish media at the time, a TV presenter or a radio DJ perhaps, who totally misunderstood the song and called for it to be banned? Apparently, he thought that the story behind “The Drugs Don’t Work” was that of a drug user moaning that their recreational drugs weren’t giving them the required high. I haven’t made that up have I?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1HansonWhere’s The LoveDidn’t happen
2CastLive The DreamI did not
3Tina MooreNever Gonna Let You GoNegative
4Finley QuayeEven After AllNo but my wife had his album
5KavanaCrazy Chance ’97Nope
6N-TyceWe Come To PartyNo
7Mariah CareyHoneyNah
8The VerveThe Drugs Don’t WorkNo but I had the Urban Hymns album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0029cfk/top-of-the-pops-12091997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 05 SEP 1997

Given the events in Paris five days before this TOTP aired and that the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales was to happen the following day, it will be interesting to remind ourselves how the BBC handled broadcasting their flagship pop music show. On the face of it, a programme based around the pop charts might have seemed at odds with the sombre mood of the nation which was still in shock and in some cases hysterical about accepting the tragic news. A studio audience shouting and cheering and behaving in an overexcited way whilst a presenter introduced the latest sounds might have seemed incongruous at best and disrespectful at worst. Would the decision to cancel the show altogether have been considered? You would assume so given that radio stations had been tying themselves up in knots all week about their on air output and avoiding playing anything deemed to be inappropriate. That decision wasn’t made though so let’s see how they did handle it.

Tonight’s host is Zoe Ball who we haven’t seen in these repeats as yet though she had presented the show before but the Puff Daddy/P Diddy/R Kelly issue meant they weren’t broadcast on BBC4. There’s no discernible changes in the opening of the show with Zoe giving us the well worn line about TOTP still being No 1 though there’s no actual prop of the figure ‘1’ this week. The studio audience breaks into the usual screaming/cheering on cue but Zoe does seem to be playing it straighter than we’ve seen from fellow presenter Jayne Middlemiss up to now.

The first artist on tonight is global superstar/diva (delete as appropriate) Mariah Carey. By this point in her career, Mariah was up to her sixth studio album in just eight years – “Butterfly” was released the week after this TOTP aired and was trailed by lead single “Honey”. This wasn’t a case of just churning out another album though. No, this was the moment Mariah went full hip-hop. Or was it R&B? Or both? It’s not my bag so I don’t feel qualified to comment really but everything online I’ve read tells me this was an ‘important’ album for Mariah which usually signals a crossroads in an artist’s career. Messing with the formula can produce amazing results – think of all those brilliant songs by The Beatles we would have been denied if they’d never deviated from their early ‘moptop’ sound. It can also go the other way alienating the fanbase – I lost faith with Radiohead once they disappeared up their own arses on “Kid A”. Of course, it’s all subjective. You may prefer Genesis of the “Invisible Touch” brand to the early Peter Gabriel era or the abstract noodling of late period Talk Talk to their synth pop beginnings. Similarly, a hip-hop-upped Mariah Carey may have held your attention more than her warbly balladeer persona. Personally, I wasn’t bothered about either. As for the track “Honey”, is it me or does she not actually appear to sing that much on it? I can hear the backing singers more than Mariah. Was she turned down in the mix or something? Even when you can hear her, all she seems to be doing is some elongated, over pronouncing of the words so we get a load of ‘ye-aah’, ‘no-oo’, and ‘ba-aabe’. Then, before she can really let rip, she’s joined on stage by a rapper (called Mase apparently) – well, she had gone hip-hop I suppose. It’s all a bit of a mess and guess who had his fingerprints all over it? Yep, P Diddy. We couldn’t have had this show cancelled as well?

Next up are Ocean Colour Scene and we find another case of someone being about out-sung. “Travellers Tune” was the second single lifted from the band’s “Marchin’ Already” album and featured soul singer P.P. Arnold on additional vocals but describing her contribution as ‘additional’ hardly does her justice. It’s not that frontman Simon Fowler doesn’t do a decent job of anchoring the song but P.P. Arnold brings it into dock and secures its lines with a clear hitch knot. It’s not surprising as her track record shows she has worked with some huge names like Ike and Tina Turner, Small Faces and the aforementioned Peter Gabriel as well as having her own hits in the 60s and collaborating with dance acts like Beatmasters and Altern-8.

Unlike Mariah Carey before them, “Travellers Tune” itself wasn’t breaking any new ground and was more of the blues rock sound that made the band’s name as Britpop broke. It was still a decent…well…tune though, full of melody and enough hooks to keep the listener engaged. Its chart peak of No 5 meant their last five singles had achieved the following chart highs:

7 – 4 – 6 – 4 – 5

They were now established chart stars. Indeed, “Marchin’ Already” would knock Oasis’s “Be Here Now” off the top of the album chart when released nine days after this TOTP aired. Ocean Colour Scene had supported Noel, Liam et al on their 1995 tour. As far as I can tell, they won’t be supporting them on their 2025 reunion tour though the likes of Cast and Richard Ashcroft have been confirmed.

Not this guy again! How on earth did Ginuwine manage to have hits with his nasty brand of call and response R&B? Having already bagged himself two UK Top 20 singles, he went one further with a third chart entry by going Top 10 with – blasphemy upon blasphemy – a cover of Prince’s “When Doves Cry”. How dare he?! This really was nonsense for the feeble minded. Predictably, Ginuwine (real name Elgin Lumpkin – no, really!) starts his performance by exhorting the crowd to wave their arms in the air and shouting “Ho-ooo!”. Someone else made their name by doing a similar thing but he was playing it for laughs – Ginuwine was…well…being genuine!

This version of “When Doves Cry” was produced by Timbaland whose own real name is Timothy Mosley but I’m guessing he isn’t named after Moseley, the suburb of South Birmingham like Ocean Colour Scene’s “Moseley Shoals” was. No, because that was a humorous play on Muscle Shoals, Alabama, home to several famous recording studios. There’s nothing funny about Ginuwine covering Prince which was a mad idea. Elgin Lumpkin? I think Elgin lost his marbles on this one.

Now here’s a quality tune from a group who were only what the Spice Girls could/should have been like – the time of All Saints (and their cargo pants) is upon us. Just like Baby, Posh, Scary, Sporty and Ginger, this lot had a back story that involved a Pete Best type figure – for Michelle Stephenson (Lost Spice) read Simone Rainford who was part of an original trio (alongside Melanie Blatt and Shaznay Lewis) named All Saints 1.9.7.5. who were signed to ZTT Records. Two single releases failed to make any impression on the charts and, following internal conflicts, Rainford left the group who were subsequently dropped by their label. Tasked with finding a replacement member and a new recording contract, Blatt and Lewis turned up trumps on both accounts finding the Appleton sisters Natalie and Nicole and a new label in London Records. The mix was perfect and they hit the ground running with debut single “I Know Where It’s At”, a slinky, R&B infused but resolutely pop track (that’s how you do it Mariah!) that became an instant earworm once heard. I never knew that it had a Steely Dan sample in it but then I’m hardly a Steely Dan aficionado so I can forgive myself that. For the record though it’s this track:

Although the comparisons with the Spice Girls were inevitable, I always thought that All Saints were cooler by far though in truth, I’m not convinced that they were similar acts at all. My sense is that the Spice Girls had a much younger fanbase. The All Saints performance here ticks all the boxes, synchronised moves though not overly choreographed, those cargo pants and a definite sense of unity. They would become a huge success with five No 1 singles and two multi platinum albums before they split in 2001. Though there have been two subsequent reunions and three further albums as well as solo careers and the duo Appleton, I still have the feeling that, if not unfulfilled potential, then there was more we never got to see and hear from All Saints.

Following up “MMMBop” was always going to be a tall order for Hanson but they gave it a decent go with “Where’s The Love”. A No 5 hit over here (it didn’t chart in the US as it wasn’t given a physical release so didn’t comply with Billboard regulations), it was another uptempo, hook-laden pop tune. However, to me, this always sounded like a more mature sound compared to its predecessor. Now I now the words ‘mature’ and ‘Hanson’ don’t seem compatible (especially in 1997 – had lead singer Taylor’s voice even broken yet?) but hear me out. Whereas “MMMBop” had that saccharine feel to it that even the youngest of the young could cotton onto (my then six year old goddaughter included), “Where’s The Love” just seemed more like a proper song. I’m probably vastly over examining this whole subject but then I have to write something about it don’t I?

At the time of their biggest fame, drummer Zac wasn’t even a teenager and I have a distinct memory of Huey Morgan of Fun Lovin’ Criminals telling a story about him whilst appearing on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Apparently, they’d been in a recording studio at the same time and Huey had lit up a cigarette during a break only to be confronted by the youngest Hanson brother saying “You can’t smoke in here, you can’t smoke in here!”. Huey wasn’t going to be told what he could and couldn’t do by an 11 year old and so it spilled over into an argument resulting in him telling the viewing audience that he had “beef with the little guy”. Where’s the love Huey?

It’s the fourth and final week at the top for “Men In Black” and still we have the superimposed Will Smith intro over the top of the video. I guess TOTP just got him to freestyle for a bit and then cut up whatever he gave them and laid it over the four separate times the video was played. I wonder how much more footage they had if he was at the top any longer? Four weeks feels like enough but we should maybe have cherished that time more – Elton is on his way…

…but not yet. We finally get to the part of the show where they acknowledge “the end of a very sad week” as Zoe Ball puts it. Clearly, Zoe had been given instructions about the presenting style that was required at this time and she duly delivered a muted tone with some basic intros and a lack of extravagance. There weren’t even any of those knowing looks and raised eyebrows that Jayne Middlemiss was determined to make her trademark. And talking of Jayne…why has she suddenly appeared on screen alongside Zoe? All she does is a plug for the chart rundown show on the Sunday – this seemed really odd. Was it meant to be a show of unity by the show’s presenters as if to say “we’re all in this together’? If so, it failed as Jayne can’t resist her raised eyebrows look before Zoe steps in and takes over with a respectful intro into the last song of the night which, by very fortunate happenstance, is actually a suitable track and a new release.

“You Have Been Loved”, Zoe tells us, was written by George Michael for his late mother. However, everything I’ve read online says it was inspired by the death of his lover Anselmo Feleppa who passed away from an AIDS-related illness in 1993. I guess maybe the cover story given to the press about his mother* was deemed necessary as George hadn’t come out as gay by this point (he would do so in 1998).

*His previous single with Toby Bourke “Waltz Away Dreaming” was also reported to have been recorded as a tribute to his Mum

The sixth and final single taken from George’s “Older” album, “You Have Been Loved” was the tale of losing a loved one (whoever that may have actually been) and had already been distributed to radio stations for plugging and so was manna from heaven for programme directors desperately trawling the playlist catalogues for something inoffensive to play*. It would peak at No 2 and would surely have been a third No 1 from the album but for the Elton John single. As it was, “Older” itself would receive a sales injection off the back of it.

*As I recall, another contemporary tune that was deemed appropriate was “Don’t Go Away” from Oasis’s recently released “Be Here Now” album.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Mariah CareyHoneyDidn’t happen
2Ocean Colour SceneTravellers TuneNegative
3GinuwineWhen doves CryNever
4All SaintsI Know Where It’s AtNope
5HansonWhere’s The LoveI did not
6Will SmithMen In BlackNah
7George MichaelYou Have Been LovedNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0029cfh/top-of-the-pops-05091997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 21 JUN 1996

Here’s a blast from the past. Anyone remember Julia Carling? I have to admit I’d forgotten all about her but here she is presenting TOTP in 1996. OK, the show was maybe not commanding the same profile as in its 70s and 80s heyday but it was still the BBC’s flagship music programme. So who was/is Julia Carling and how did she get this gig? Well, she was a TV presenter (obviously) who’d started as a VJ on VH-1 and guested on Channel 4’s Big Breakfast before her spot here. She was also the wife of England rugby player Will Carling though Wikipedia informs me that the couple divorced in this year. Will was rumoured in the tabloids to be romantically linked with Diana Princess of Wales something that must have passed me by at the time. As for Julia, she spent some time on This Morning before disappearing from our screens to concentrate on a career in journalism and writing a book.

Before we get to Julia though there’s the return of the direct to camera message from a featured artist that was curiously replaced by a highlights montage the other week. Not sure what all that was about but there’s no ignoring its reappearance as we get Black Grape in the slot this week but it’s Keith Allen not Shaun Ryder taking centre stage as he’s joined them for their Euro 96 single “England’s Irie”. Unfortunately, Allen is there as his alter-ego, the never-not-annoying Keithski banging on about the football so let’s move on quickly to opening act Longpigs. Although more often than not categorised as Britpop, they never seem to get talked about as much as some of the movement’s other luminaries. In fact, the most frequent comment about the band always see seems to be that their guitarist was Richard Hawley who, of course, went on to forge a career as a solo artist in the new millennium. Longpigs had some decent tunes though of which this one – “She Said” – is probably my favourite. Despite sounded like the band are performing it under duress, it also has a power and menace of its own. Part of that menace comes from the repeated lyric “you better hit her”. I’m not quite sure what songwriter and singer Crispin Hunt was getting at when he wrote it but, certainly taken in isolation, the line is dubious. That apart, I do think the track stands up with that piano scale leading into the chorus simple yet very effective. Back to Crispin though and his name must be up there as the most posh boy moniker in all of Britpop. What? How about Crispian Mills of Kula Shaker? Oh hush!

Gabrielle’s career is a curious mixture of massive hits and middling, blink-and-you’ll-miss-‘em chart entries. For every “Dreams”, “Rise” and “Out Of Reach”, there was a “Because Of You”, “I Wish” or this one – “Forget About The World”. The second single from her eponymous sophomore album, it would peak at No 23 whilst spending just three weeks on the Top 40. As such, I don’t recall this one at all but *whisper it* it’s actually quite good. A nice tune, perfect for Summer with a polished but not ostentatious production, I much prefer it to some of those aforementioned bigger hits. One thing that does let it down though, and this applies to nearly all of Gabrielle’s work, is her lack of diction. I had to have subtitles permanently on to be able to understand what she was singing about. Annunciate Gabrielle annunciate! Never mind forget about the world, she forgot about the words!

Another female solo artist now as we get the latest single from Mariah Carey who, after a slowish start to her UK chart career, was on a hot streak of Top 10 hits by the mid 90s. “Always Be My Baby” was the eleventh in a row to achieve such a chart peak over here. Of course, in the US, it had always been huge smash after huge smash right from the start with eight of her first ten hits going to No 1.

This track was the fourth and final to be lifted from her “Daydream” album and would go straight in at No 3 (it was a chart topper in America obvs). It would stay within the Top 40 for eight weeks, quite the feat of endurance in a chart era of singles debuting high then falling away rapidly. Contrast that with the stats for Gabrielle’s single – two comparable hits with wildly fluctuating chart performances. Why was that exactly? I’ve been writing this blog long enough to know that question is largely unanswerable. I even wrote a dissertation on it as a student and couldn’t get to the bottom of it. If I had to guess, I’d say that maybe Mariah had more airplay behind it than Gabrielle? Could be as I thought I didn’t know “Always Be My Baby” but the “doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-dum” hook sounded very familiar. Maybe though I was thinking of this 1992 hit from Betty Boo…

If it looks, sounds and has the whiff of an act of desperation, then it surely is an act of desperation. It had been two years since Let Loose had a huge hit single with “Crazy For You” that had transformed them briefly into contenders for the next teenage heartthrob band. By 1996 though, despite having a clutch of medium sized hits to their name, nothing had replicated the success of their breakthrough song and their album had sold moderately. Enough to warrant a follow up but a chart high of No 20 wasn’t going to give Boyzone sleepless nights.

The alarm bells must have truly started ringing though when the lead single from their second album – “Everybody Say, Everybody Do” – could only scramble to No 29 in the charts at the back end of 1995. Seven months would pass before the band reappeared. Presumably, in that time, the decision was made to break the pop music emergency glass and execute the standard, fall back contingency plan which was – altogether everyone – RELEASE A COVER VERSION! Yes, of course. When in need of a career reviving hit, that was the obvious move. In the case of Let Loose, their safe word song was the old Bread hit “Make It With You”. Now OK, it’s a nice ballad and it certainly did the job (albeit a stop gap one) when it returned the band to the Top 10 but that particular track had already been used for a similar purpose by The Pasadenas* only four years previously when their version peaked at No 20. Stealing ideas from the “Tribute (Right On)” hit makers was surely a low. Despite the cover’s chart success, the band still ended up going down the pan when second album “Rollercoaster” hit the skids and then disappeared without trace taking Let Loose with it. Ah, the ups and downs of life as a 90s boy band.

*The Pasadenas had done a whole album of covers in an attempt to rebuild their career.

And so to a band who had just announced that they were splitting up according to Julia Carling and she was right as Crowded House (initially) called it a day in 1996 after having been around for about a decade. Was she right about it being their last time on TOTP though? Having done a little research, I think she might have been. 1-0 to Julia. Anyway, Crowded House were going out with a bang in that they released their first Greatest Hits album called “Recurring Dream” which would go on to sell over a million copies in the UK twice as many as their previous bestselling studio album “Woodface”. It included three new songs of which “Instinct” was one. Taking of things recurring, thus was yet another track that I thought I didn’t remember until I listened to it and it was hidden deep in my memory banks, presumably buried behind a heap of recollections of drunken nights out or the name of that kid from school that I can never recall. Anyway, it’s a very Crowded House tune which seems a lazy but accurate way to describe it. Another way would be that it was a typical example of their thoughtful, well crafted melodic rock/pop which I’ve always been a sucker for. In fact, perhaps one of my favourite gigs ever was seeing them play The Academy in Manchester around 1991 when bassist Nick Seymour did his infamous ‘chocolate cake’ party trick. Is “Instinct” one of the band’s best tunes? No, I wouldn’t say so but it’s a decent tune and at least they used the correct word for its title and didn’t make one up just so it scanned better. Yes, I’m talking about you Gary Kemp!

A second new track called “Not The Girl You Think You Are” was released as a follow up which I do remember as it sounded so much like The Beatles which was apparently deliberate as Neil Finn has described it as an homage to the Fab Four. It would help propel “Recurring Dream” to the top of the charts. It was also assisted in achieving that chart feat by an advertising campaign that featured a tag line that went something like “you know more Crowded House songs than you think you do” which I remember thinking was quite clever at the time. Its sales performance felt similar to that of The Beautiful South’s “Carry On Up The Charts” Best Of from a couple of years prior. Not shed loads of massive hits but enough familiar songs that it felt like a soundtrack to your life and therefore something you would need to own to represent it.

Crowded House would reconvene in 2007 and release the “Time On Earth” album though without founding member and drummer Paul Hester who tragically committed suicide in 2005 after battling with depression. The band’s latest album “Gravity Stairs” was released just four months ago in May of this year.

Oh shite! It’s that dreadful Simply Red song that was appropriated as the official Euro 96 anthem. “We’re In This Together” should have been made available on the NHS for insomniacs – talk about soporific! I mentioned the last time this tripe was on that my reaction to it was in line with a Joe Pasquale heckler who threw his crutches away whilst shouting “I’d rather fall over than listen to this shit!” on the way down. Following on from that, I’ve remembered another extreme reaction that was in response to actually hearing a Simply Red track. When at polytechnic, a friend was in the student bar and not in a particularly good mood. Whatever was troubling him was not helped by Hucknall and co coming on the bar jukebox. His response to this was to set fire to his hair! Talk about “A New Flame”!

By this point in his career, Maxi Priest had been having chart hits for a decade beginning with “Strollin’ On” in 1986. Although there were a many a single that missed the Top 40 along the way, there were also plenty of major successes. Look at his 1990 hit “Close To You” which combined New Jack Swing and soul so well that it went to No 1 in America making him one of only two reggae artists (alongside UB40) to ever achieve a US chart topper.

However, to some uneducated ears (and I include my own in that description), it might seem that Maxi has become an enduring figure predominantly off the back of doing some reggae covers of already well known songs like “Some Guys Have All The Luck” and “Wide World” but that perhaps doesn’t tell the whole story. Maxi established himself by being able to adapt his natural reggae tendencies to align with the predominant musical trends of the day. His Wikipedia page lists his own musical genres as being Roots Reggae, R&B, Lovers Rock, Dancehall and Reggae Fusion. He’s worked with artists as diverse as Jazzie B, Roberta Flack, Lee Ritenour and Apache Indian. His choice of collaborator hasn’t always been spot on though. His willingness to follow the zeitgeist meant teaming up with two of the three S’s* of 1993’s ragga phenomenon. “Housecall” saw him join forces with the despicable Shabba Ranks before this track – “That Girl” – had him in partnership with the laughable Shaggy. Sampling “Green Onions” by Booker T. & the M.G.’s, I’m convinced that this would be so much better if Shaggy had not been involved. He’s turned up and done his usual nonsense in that low growl of his so we get random interjections like “Gangsta kinda lover”, “Fancy kinda lover” and, inevitably, “Sexy kinda lover” before he just resorts to making grunt noises. Come on Maxi! You were better than that!

*A Maxi Priest / Snow duet has yet to happen thankfully

It’s time for this week’s ’exclusive’ performance from Black Grape with their contribution to the “Beautiful Game” compilation album (which also featured “Three Lions”) entitled “England’s Irie”. I never really got this one perhaps because, like Simply Red’s awful “We’re In this Together”, it doesn’t seem to have that much to do with football. Sure, there’s a few stock phrases in there like “Cross into the box”, “A perfect pass” and “It’s a football thing” that clearly anchor it as a football song but some of the lyrics are tenuous at best. “Dribble around my socks”? “Check my shirt and drink my shots”? “Squeeze me in box”? I suppose that last one could relate to the infamous photo of Vinnie Jones grabbing Gazza by his nuts but still. Maybe Shaun Ryder’s lack of a connection to football might explain it. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

Hmm. Shaun was aided in this track by Keith Allen and Joe Strummer who, as Julia Carling states in her intro vowed never to appear on TOTP with The Clash (2-0 to Julia). The fact that he broke that vow to perform on this track, well…I think this sums it up:

Keith Allen, of course, was carving out a nice little side career for himself with football songs. As well as this one, there’s “World In Motion” with New Order and he would go on to release three further football ‘songs’ under the Fat Les banner. Cheers for that Keith. Apart from the lyrics, there are other things about “England’s Irie” that confuse me. For a start, what has the word ‘Irie’ got to do with the England football team? Here’s @TOTPFacts again:

Secondly, apart from Strummer, nobody seems to be wearing an England football shirt. Shaun’s looks more like an England rugby top, Keith Allen is wearing orange as if he’s Dutch but also a kilt as if he’s Scottish. The drummer’s wearing an Argentina shirt for Chrissakes! It’s all a bit of a mess but then this is Black Grape we’re talking about so…

Before the No 1 record, Julia announces the first winner of the TOTP meet and greet competition and it’s David Howe from Chingford in Essex! I wonder what David thought of his prize – a chance to hang out with Shampoo as they shoot an ‘exclusive’ performance for the show in Madrid. A trip to the Spanish capital would have been nice but Shampoo? They were hardly the biggest of names were they? At least it wasn’t Peter Andre though!

The Fugees are No 1 for a third week with “Killing Me Softly”. This was one of those singles that flew off the shelves. There were a few of them in the 90s where anticipation for a song’s release created phenomenal demand. “Mmm Bop” by Hanson (no really!) was another along with “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt and “…Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears. Nothing though can touch the clamour for Elton John’s “Candle In The Wind 1997” after Princess Diana died but that’s a whole other story for a future post.

The play out track is “Where It’s At” by Beck. This was a track taken from his “Odelay” album (the one with the shaggy dog jumping over a hurdle on the cover) and was only his second UK hit when it peaked at No 35. Everyone I ever worked with at Our Price seemed to love Beck as he was perceived as being super hip. My view? Yeah, I quite liked him though not as much as my wife who bought “Odelay”. “Where It’s At” was typically edgy and alternative with samples a plenty and a whiff of 60s psychedelica. It would win Beck a Grammy for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance though, for me, it wasn’t as memorable as follow up “Devil’s Haircut”. Still, what did I know.

P.S. In a link more tenuous than an “England’s Irie” lyric, there’s a connection between Julia Carling and Beck…Jeff Beck the rock guitarist with whom she lived for six years from the age of 18.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1LongpigsShe SaidNo but I had their album I think
2GabrielleForget About The WorldNo
3Mariah CareyAlways Be My BabyNope
4Let LooseMake It With YouAs if
5Crowded HouseInstinctNo but I had the Best Of album with it on
6Simply RedWe’re In This TogetherNever!
7Maxi Priest / ShaggyThat GirlNope
8Black Grape / Keith Allen / Joe StrummerEngland’s IrieNah
9FugeesKilling Me SoftlyNo but my wife had the album
10BeckWhere It’s AtSee 9 above

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00233yy/top-of-the-pops-21061996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 15 FEB 1996

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day 1996 but there’s only one token slushy love song on this TOTP. What there is though are eight ‘new’ songs on the show with only the No 1 having been on previously. The grip of Britpop on the nation is on display with two bands in the running order who could be described as being part of that movement though probably not by themselves. In addition to that, the host for this one is Justine Frischmann, lead singer of Elastica, who were undeniably of that parish.

We start with one of those Britpop associated bands who were making their TOTP debut despite having been in existence for seven years by this point. I have to admit to never having heard of Ocean Colour Scene before “The Riverboat Song” though. We would all come to know the band and that song in particular thanks to the championing of them and it by Chris Evans. Not only did he play “The Riverboat Song” extensively on his Radio 1 breakfast show but six days before this TOTP aired, he had the band as the very first musical guests on the very first episode of TFI Friday performing it. Said track was subsequently used as the walk-on music for every guest as they made their way along a walkway to the bar area to be interviewed by Evans. As the show lasted nearly five years, the PRS cheques for the band must have been a substantial earner.

The success of the single (a No 15 hit) would pave the way for a run of six consecutive Top 10 hits and two multi platinum albums in “Moseley Shoals” and “Marchin’ Already”. In the April of 1996, they were the opening act on the bill supporting Oasis at their two Maine Road gigs. I went to the Saturday gig but to my shame missed Ocean Colour Scene as I was too busy pre-gig drinking with friends. We arrived in time for second support artist Manic Street Preachers though. I can’t remember much about the gig except I have a clear memory of the massive queue for the bar and pints being handed back to customers over people’s heads. A sad indictment on me that my memories of the day are mainly alcohol related.

Back to “The Riverboat Song” though and it is widely considered to be heavily influenced by the Led Zeppelin track “Four Sticks”. As I have never been a regular traveler on the boat to Led Zep island, I’ve no idea if this is true so I’ll have to investigate…

…yep, a definite similarity. However, what I’d really like to hear would be a Led Zeppelin/ Two Ronnies mash up of the track. They could call it “Four Candlesticks” (sorry).

I give myself a hard time in this blog about not recalling artists and songs from back in the day but seriously, who remembers “Giv Me Luv” by Alcatraz? Apparently this was a No 12 hit though it only remained on the Top 40 for two weeks. Listening to it now, it sounds like a mash up of “French Kiss” by Lil Louis and “Show Me Love” by Robin S. Quite what genre of dance music that would be described as I have no idea.

As I was also clueless as to who this lot were, I googled them but there seem to be a few groups called Alcatraz or variants of that name throughout musical history. There’s the English heavy metal band called Alcatrazz who formed in 1980 but split in 1983 after being dropped by their label. Picking up the baton immediately were an LA rock band also called Alcatrazz featuring Graham Bonnet, Steve Vai and Yngwie Malmsteen (great name!) in the line up. Formed in 1983, they are still a going concern or rather two going concerns as, after an internal dispute, there are two versions of the band, one led by Bonnet and one by Jimmy Waldo (another great name!) and Gary Shea. If that’s not confusing enough, there was also a German band called Alcatraz (with one ‘z’) from the 70s who played Black Sabbath and Soft Machine covers. Oh, and also an outfit called Alcatraz House Band, an acoustic rock trio who play covers by the likes of Fleetwood Mac, The Cult and Tom Petty. Seriously people, enough with naming yourselves after a Federal Penitentiary in San Francisco! I’ve been to Alcatraz Island and done the prison tour and I wouldn’t wish that place on anyone, not even the people that gave us “Giv Me Luv”!

Next a reefer anthem that got past the BBC censors presumably because they didn’t know what the slang term of the title meant. “I Got 5 On It” by Luniz was all about splitting the cost of a $10 bag of marijuana and laying down your half. It’s logical at least. After not understanding that “No Fronts” by Dog Eat Dog was all about blazing up just the other week, the Beeb did take a more cautious approach to this one as we only get to see two minutes of Luniz performing live by satellite in LA with the Hollywood sign prominent in the background. Did cutting the length of the track in half mean the watching TV audience didn’t get exposed to any drug references? Erm… not really. I watched it with subtitles turned on (in case I misheard anything) and read “hoochies wanna puff on it”, “you take a puff and pass my bomb back”, “messin’ with that weed”, “I’ll be damned if you get high on me for free” and “Hell no, you best to bring your own spliff chief”. I mean, come on! What did they think they were rapping about?!

“I Got 5 On It” crashed into the charts at No 3 continuing the popularity of huge hip hop hits in the UK at this time like “Regulate” by Warren G and Nate Dogg and Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise”. My main association of this song though is via my friend Paul. At this time, having moved to the area because of his wife’s work, Paul, who is a chef, was living temporarily out of a hotel in Manchester and used make use of our flat’s washing machine to wash his work whites. While there, he would open the flat’s big sash windows and blare some hip hop tunes out of them including “I Got 5 On It”. Thankfully, the local drug dealer who we called Mr Dodgy never seemed to notice.

Despite having been a UK No 1 way back in 1979, we still couldn’t get enough of “I Will Survive” in the mid 90s. Gloria Gaynor, of course, had that original chart topper with the song and it’s her version that is the definitive take on the track. She took it back to No 5 in 1993 when all sorts of 70s acts were having a revival. However, she wasn’t the only artist to take on the disco staple. In 1994, Dutch group Hermes House Band topped the charts in their home country with a version retitled “I Will Survive (La La La)” whilst later in these 1996 TOTP repeats, I’m sure we’ll see American singer Chantay Savage’s restyling of it as a ballad which went to No 12 in our charts. One year later, the musically eclectic US band Cake would score a minor hit with their version of it.

And then there was this by Diana Ross which managed a UK chart peak of No 14. Yet again I have zero recollection of this even existing so my first (and probably the only one required) question is WHY?! Yes, Miss Diana Ross (I bet they rehearsed and rehearsed Justine Frischmann to make sure she got that right in the intro!) is a Motown and soul legend but she didn’t add to her legacy with this limp version of a disco belter. She just hasn’t got the voice to do it justice and so we get a weak, watered down facsimile of it. I’m guessing she needed a hit as the other three singles from her “Take Me Higher” album hadn’t done any heavy lifting sales wise but even so. Also, why wear a jacket only to awkwardly take it off a few seconds into the performance and what were those gloves all about?!

Talking of being taken higher, here’s another song that is widely believed to be about drug use. Red Hot Chilli Peppers had certainly come into contact with illicit substances during their then 14 year old career in rock ‘n’ roll and were no strangers to writing songs about their experiences with “Aeroplane” appearing to be one of them, especially if you believe the online analysis. With the opening line of “I like pleasure spiked with pain”, it’s not hard to see why many would come to the conclusion it’s referring to drug use. Then there’s the lyrics about “decomposing” and “turning to dust” which could be construed as being about singer Anthony Kiedis having a relapse after being clean for a number of years. However, some offer the opinion that it’s about sex and more explicitly S&M with the titular aeroplane being the rock music lifestyle that afforded such…erm…activities. All I know is that the line about the “star of mazzy ” must surely refer to the band Mazzy Star and their track “Into Dust”. The full lyrics include the use of the ‘f’ word twice but said word is omitted in this live by satellite performance. Presumably someone had a word with Kiedis beforehand about time differences and the UK watershed!

After Supergrass announced themselves to the mainstream in 1995 with one of the anthems of the Summer in “Alright”, it all went quiet for six months. No rerelease of non-hit “Caught By The Fuzz”. Nothing. I guess they were working on second album “In It For The Money”. The problem was that the album would not be released for another fourteen months (meaning a gap of nearly two years) since debut “I Should Coco” came out. Given their new found popularity and the predominance of Britpop (of which they were seen as a prime mover), that was too long to wait for new material. Enter “Going Out” to plug the gap. This wasn’t one of those one off, non-album, standalone singles though. It would end up being the lead track from “In It For The Money” despite the gulf between their releases.

If we’d been expecting a retread of “Alright” though, we didn’t know Supergrass that well. “Going Out” was no blatant attempt to repeat the formula of their biggest success or to pin their colours firmly to the Britpop mast. Rather it harked back to the psychedelic end of 60s pop in sound – I could imagine The Kinks of the Small Faces having recorded it for example. Its No 5 peak was a very solid consolidation of their success but I wonder what Gaz Coombes was talking to the keyboard player about mid performance here? Do you think it was a pre-rehearsed set up because he didn’t know where to put himself during the instrumental break? Or maybe he was asking him about what he’d read in the papers about drummer Danny Goffey who was in the tabloids for his relationship with fashion designer Pearl Lowe at the time. Indeed, Goffey almost fell out with Coombes as he thought “Going Out” was written about them. Coming to that conclusion from the very sparse lyrics seems a bit of a stretch though.

Mariah Carey must have enjoyed doing TOTP – she always seemed to be in the studio in person and here she was again to perform her latest single “Open Arms”. This was the third track to be released from her “Daydream” album and, as a big ballad, was presumably timed to coincide with Valentine’s Day. I think she’d done the same thing two years before with her cover of Nilsson’s “Without You”. Lo and behold, and I had no knowledge of this until this very day, “Open Arms” was also a cover version. Originally recorded by American soft rockers Journey of “Don’t Stop Believin’” fame, Mariah took her take on it to No 4 in the UK charts. It’s the usual Carey production but it’s all a bit lacklustre sounding to me and was panned by the critics. Having checked out Journey’s recording, I can’t say that it’s much better to my ears though it made No 2 in 1982 in the American chart. Despite my opinion of the song, Justine Frischmann referring to Mariah as “Mazza Cazza” does seem ever so slightly disrespectful.

Now, is this the most people ever on one stage for a TOTP performance? There’s a multitude of extras up there with Sting. Obviously, the majority of them are made up of the gospel choir he’s brought with him (you don’t get small gospel choirs do you?) and it’s an impressive sight. Sadly, the word ‘impressive’ can’t be applied to Sting’s song as “Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot” is quite the dirge. The lead single from his fifth studio album “Mercury Rising”, it was inspired by a truly affecting story of a friend of his who was suffering from AIDS. It seems wrong to be so glib about a song that tells such a story but I found it really dull. Well performed and recorded I’m sure but dull nevertheless.

As ever, Sting’s fan base made sure the album was a success though it sold only half the amount of copies as previous album “Ten Sumoner’s Tales”. “Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot” would peak at No 15, easily the best performing single from the album chart wise. However, Stimg had a nice little side line being a ‘featured artist’ on other people’s hits in 1996. He’d already appeared on Pato Banton’s cover of The Police’s “Spirits In The Material World” and would also guest on Tina Turner’s “On Silent Wings” single in the May.

Another week at the top for Babylon Zoo with “Spaceman” and is Jas Mann starting to take it all a bit for granted and not putting the effort in any more. It looks like he’s got a five o’clock shadow in this performance. Maybe he thought superstardom was in the bag or that he’d have the biggest hit of the year at least even though it was only February at the time. However, despite selling 1.15 million copies, despite being the best selling single since “Can’t Buy Me Love” by The Beatles and despite being the fastest selling debut single in British pop music history, it wasn’t the biggest UK hit of 1996. It wasn’t even the runner up.* In an extraordinarily strong field sales wise featuring the phenomenon of the Spice Girls, and the fever pitch propelled football anthem “Three Lions”, the biggest selling single in the UK came courtesy of an American hip hop trio who’d only had one minor hit here before and who would only ever record two albums in their career…

*”Spaceman” came in third

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Ocean Colour SceneThe Riverboat SongDon’t think I did
2AlcatrazGiv Me LuvNever
3LunizI Got 5 On ItNo but clearly my mate Paul did
4Diana RossI Will SurviveAs if
5Red Hot Chilli PeppersAeroplaneNah
6SupergrassGoing OutNope
7Mariah CareyOpen ArmsI did not
8Sting Let Your Soul Be Your PilotNope
9Babylon ZooSpacemanI am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001zj09/top-of-the-pops-15021996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 12 OCT 1995

We’re well intro the Autumn of 1995 with these TOTP repeats now but away from which artists were in the charts, who else was in the news around this time? Well, the day before this show aired, Everton striker Duncan Ferguson was making headlines of the wrong kind when he was sentenced to 3 months imprisonment for making lines on the head of Raith Rovers defender John McStay after head butting him during a game. As such, he became the first British footballer to be given a custodial sentence for an on-field offence. I wonder if there are any criminal records on this TOTP that deserved to be sent down?

Here’s one for a start! PJ & Duncan should have been locked up and the key thrown away for this rubbish. Eighteen months on from their first hit, the novelty was wearing thin. “U Krazy Katz” was the duo’s seventh Top 40 single and what a stinker it was! Everything about this song honked not least its awful title. ‘Crazy’ spelt with a ‘K’ and ‘Cats’ spelt with a ‘K’ and a ‘Z’ with the obligatory ‘U’ replacing ‘You’. Who did they think they were? Slade?! As for the track, it’s like Modern Romance doing their mambo styled hit “Don’t Stop That Crazy Rhythm” but instead of singing it they‘ve rapped their way through the damned thing. Vile stuff.

Although their music was still crap, something had changed with these two. Yes, obviously they’d gone for 40s style suits and brogues (and an ill judged cane for Dec/Duncan) for this appearance rather than the usual baseball cap, jeans and trainers look but it’s something else I’m referring to. A small but defining detail that would shape their future careers to this day…yep, they swapped sides! It’s not for the whole performance but there are definite points where they swap over so that PJ is on the left (as we look at the TV screen) and Duncan on the right. Do you think they watched this back and thought “Haway man! We look better this way round ‘n’ that!”. Think of Ant & Dec now and I’m betting your mind’s eye places the former on our left and Dec the right. It’s hard wired into our brains but up to this point, their stints on TOTP had their positions reversed. By the way, that’s another more obvious change that is on the waythe dropping of the PJ & Duncan monikers and the adopting of the Ant & Dec brand. There’s only two more PJ & Duncan hits to endure after this one before they switch.

The solo career of Suggs was the equivalent of a one man crime wave. It should have been illegal and actionable. After his disastrous cover of “I’m Only Sleeping” by The Beatles as his debut offering, the Madness frontman followed it up with this original track called “Camden Town”. A fusion of ska and pop with a side order of reggae, it was jaunty for sure but oh so insubstantial. The verses remind me of the theme tune to Only Fools And Horses but set in Camden rather than Peckham. Ah yes, that title location. Was that a deliberate and contrived attempt to drum up some credibility for Suggs off the back of the epicentre of the burgeoning Britpop movement?

Now, I like Madness and have seen them in concert but whilst Suggs’s character makes sense within the structure of the band, out on his own, his affected delivery and stilted movements just grate on me. Worse was to come with his cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Cecilia” released from his album “The Lone Ranger” the following April.

So what links Mariah Carey and Simply Red? Well, the former’s video for her single “Fantasy” was set in an amusement park and saw Mariah riding a rollercoaster and the latter were at No 1 at the same time with “Fairground” and the promo for that one was filmed at Blackpool Pleasure Beach with The Big One rollercoaster prominently featured. There was another link between Mariah and a fellow resident in this week’s chart. Ten places below her at No 16 were folk-rockers The Levellers with their new single…yep…”Fantasy”. Fancy that!

Next, a second consecutive studio performance for Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue with their murder ballad duet “Where The Wild Roses Grow”. I mentioned in the last post that I performed this song in a guitar class I used to attend back in 2010 as a duet with a student called Lisa and that it was recorded for posterity. The guitar teacher gave me a CD of our performance and I added it to my iTunes library. I thought I could maybe embed it into this blog but I’ve run into a few tech issues. I got a new Mac a while back and never got around to importing everything from my old one onto the new one including my iTunes library (well, we’re all on Spotify now aren’t we?). When I’ve gone back to said library on the old Mac, it says that the file for the track can’t be located. It’s all a bit of a mess. If I could find the original CD, maybe I could upload it to the new Mac? Can’t find it anyway so it looks like you’re all have to live with the disappointment of not hearing my Nick Cave impression but rest assured it was immense!

My duet with Lisa wasn’t as unexpected as Nick and Kylie’s what with us both attending the same guitar class and all but there have been other pairings throughout musical history that rivalled their unlikeliness. How about Youssou N’Dour and Neneh Cherry on “7 Seconds” or Marc Almond and Gene Pitney with “Something’s Gotten Hold Of My Heart”. Yeah, Richard and Lisa from guitar class doesn’t sound as left field as some of those names I admit. As for musical crimes, “Where The Wild Roses Grow” is an excellent song and should never be considered in those terms but if you listen to the lyrics, well that’s literally a different story altogether.

After Jimmy Nail used his Auf Wiedersehen, Pet fame to launch his music career in 1985 with a cover of Rose Royce’s “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore”, it took him seven years to come up with his next hit single, the chart topping “Ain’t No Doubt”. However, once he’d made that comeback, he was determined to stick around and in the mid 90s, he was prolific. He released three albums in three years between ‘94 and ‘96, the middle of which was “Big River”. Coming after “Crocodile Shoes” and before “Crocodile Shoes II” (a “Crocodile Shoes” sandwich?), it was a sizeable success going platinum in the UK and making the Top 10. Its lead single was the title track which made No 18 on the UK charts. A love letter to the River Tyne and its heyday at the heart of the once thriving shipbuilding industry that also acknowledges its decline, it features the guitar work of fellow Geordie Mark Knopfler. It’s a decent enough song that was a good platform for Nail’s gruff voice but quite why it needed a rerelease three months later as “Big River ‘96” is beyond me and also most of the record buying public as it stalled at No 72.

I’ve said before in this blog that you could do worse than give Jimmy’s 1997 Best Of album “The Nail File” a spin on your streaming platform of choice. Tracks like the Paddy McAloon penned “Cowboy Dreams” and “Country Boy” are just great songs and you can’t deny that Jimmy has a distinctive voice. A crime against music? Hadaway and shite!

Something serious now. The War Child International charity was founded in 1993 to ensure war child victims have access to protection, education and psychosocial support both in conflict and post-conflict areas with the UK arm established in 1994. A year later, they worked with British and Irish artists to create “The Help Album” to raise funds for the charity. Featuring the likes of Oasis, The Stone Roses, Suede, The Charlatans and Sinéad O’Connor, it took John Lennon’s “Instant Karma!” as its inspiration and was recorded, mixed and released within five days. So quick was the process that initial copies hit the shops with no track listing printed on the sleeve. Despite that drawback, the album went to No 1 in the compilation album chart. A single and an EP were taken from the album, the former was a cover of The Beatles’ “Come Together” by supergroup The Smokin’ Mojo Filters whose membership included Paul McCartney, Paul Weller, Noel Gallagher, Steve Craddock, Steve White and Carleen Anderson. It peaked at No 19. The “Help EP” was a four track release that included contributions from Portishead, Guru, PJ Harvey but was headed up by this song – “Lucky” by Radiohead.

For some reason, and I don’t recall this but Wikipedia assured me it happened, Radio 1 refused to support the EP with airplay which contributed to it only making No 51 in the charts. TOTP had no such qualms and so we got this video exclusive which gave us an early taste of a Radiohead track that would end up on their third album, 1997’s “OK Computer”. This is a great song, epic in its sound and ambition but also moving in its intensity – the sort of song that has the power to send shivers up your spine. For some reason, it’s always reminded me of the theme tune to the 1981 BBC2 adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

The affecting video could sadly have been made in 2024 what with the world witnessing the Russia/Ukraine and Gaza/Israel conflicts, the only difference being that such images (and much, much worse) are now beamed directly into our heads via our mobile phones.

On a much lighter note, “The Help Album” included some great cover versions such as Suede taking on Elvis Costello’s “Shipbuilding”, Terry Hall and Salad doing “Dream A Little Dream Of Me” and this one by the Manic Street Preachers…

All three tracks on the spin to end the show we have seen before so I’m going to rifle through them beginning with “When Love And Hate Collide” by Def Leppard. Like many artists, the Sheffield rockers recently went down the orchestral versions of their back catalogue route (see also Midge Ure, Embrace and even Cutting Crew) with an album called “Drastic Symphonies”. Said album includes an orchestral version of “When Love And Hate Collide” which does make it sound monumentally epic.

An orchestra can’t do anything about the song’s lyrics though which are straight up dreadful. Clichéd, hackneyed and in places non sensical. Look at these:

I got your number on my wall but I ain’t gonna make that call

When divided we stand baby, United we fall

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Richard Savage / Joseph Elliott
When Love & Hate Collide lyrics © Bmg Platinum Songs Us, Bludgeon Riffola Limited, Bludgeon Riffola Ltd

How can you stand divided but fall united? And who had a phone number on their wall? I know this was pre-mobile phone ubiquity but wouldn’t you have written a phone number on a telephone pad or Filofax even? Then there’s stock phrases like “Heart of Stone” and “hits you right between the eyes” and some dreadful rhyming couplets like “fighting for” and “act of war”. What do you expect though from grown men who wrote a song in “Let’s Get Rocked” from the point of view of an American teenager with references to ‘taking out the trash’ and ‘tidying your room’?

I seem to have used the word ‘epic’ a lot in this post but if there’s anyone in the history of music for whom that word was invented it must be Meatloaf. However, he’d also give Def Leppard a run for their money when it came to wonky lyrics. I mean, just look at the title of this one – “I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth)”. Clever play on words or just plain dumb? On top of that there’s more clichés like ‘selling your soul’, ‘holding your hand’ and ‘moving mountains’. Somehow though, Meat manages to sound the right side of ridiculous just by the sheer force of his personality and stage persona. He’s joined for this performance by an un-name checked woman but whom my research (OK Wikipedia!) tells me is Patti Russo who toured and recorded with Meatloaf between 1993 and 2013. She still tours and “I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth)” regularly appears in her set list (and that’s no lie).

It’s a third week (of four) for Simply Red with “Fairground” at the top of the charts and we are still yet to see that aforementioned Blackpool Pleasure Beach video. To date, the single remains the band’s only No 1. In fact, despite all their hits over the years (31 Top 40 entries by my reckoning), very few have come close to getting to the peak. “Holding Back The Years” and “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” were both just one position away from hitting top spot but as for the rest – well, only one other made the Top 5. I guess they’re more of an albums band. A quick check of their discography shows that indeed they are with them racking up four No 1 studio albums plus a Greatest Hits collection that also topped the charts. Now that’s a criminal record!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1PJ & DuncanU Krazy KatzNo chance
2SuggsCamden TownI did not
3Mariah CareyFantasyNever happened
4Nick Cave / Kylie MinogueWhere The Wild Roses GrowSang it, never bought it
5Jimmy NailBig RiverNope
6RadioheadLuckyNo but I had their OK Computer album
7Def LeppardWhen Love And Hate CollideNah
8MeatloafI’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth)No
9Simply RedFairgroundAs if

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wsmk/top-of-the-pops-12101995?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 21 SEP 1995

What Edward Woodward said! A reader of the blog tipped me off that this TOTP show was near and that I should be scared. I am and so should you be. Nothing to do with the music (though nearly all of it is frightening enough itself). No, the reason for my terror is that this is the Simon Mayo rhyming links episode! I’ve said many times when reviewing these TOTP repeats how I can’t abide the smug git and this week he seems to be deliberately trying to tip me over the edge. I don’t think we’ve seen him for a while as there have been a number of ‘golden mic’ presenters of late but now he was back and more annoying than ever. Before Mayo gets started on his inane practice of rhyming segues, we get the direct to camera piece at the top of the show which this week comes from Iron Maiden who are introducing their new lead singer Blaze Bayley after original vocalist Bruce Dickinson left in 1993.

More of them later though. We start, unfortunately, with Mayo who is to be known for tonight as ‘Rhymin’ Simon’ according to the TOTP caption. OK, well first of all, that doesn’t rhyme properly does it?! I think what I’ll do is give marks for each of his rhymes at the end of each act. That OK with you? Good.

Ah there’s lovely. It’s those two smashing, wholesome guys The Outhere Brothers! Veritable pillars of society that pair. Only kidding – the dirty mouthed duo more like. After, two consecutive UK No 1s (how?!!), the purveyors of filth are back with a third hit in “La La La Hey Hey”. It’s as insubstantial as its title hints at. Yet another call and response track, this one resorts to the lowest common denominator with its ‘lyrics’. They might have well have just grunted.

As with their previous hits, the version performed here appears to be the radio edit with any offending words removed. The full track includes a rap which bangs on about keeping “the pressure on the pecker”, “slapping her with a 1-2 checker” and of course a fairly gratuitous “mother f****r”. Just for good measure they slip in the line “Honeys shake ya booty all around”. I say once again, there’s lovely. “La La La Hey Hey” failed to make it a hat trick of chart toppers when it peaked at No 7. One more thing, why have they got the cast of Fame on stage with them?

Mayo’s Meter: “Hello, good evening, better lock up your mothers cos we’re kicking off with The Outhere Brothers

Verdict: Surely the phrase is ‘lock up your daughters’? Poor – 5/10

Right what’s this? Well, it’s another dance tune of course. I intentionally asked “what’s this?” rather than “who’s this?” as the name of the artist for such 90s hits wasn’t really relevant a lot of the time. The ‘artist’ was usually a producer, remixer or DJ who just needed a pseudonym to use for promotional purposes. That was the case with Umboza who were actually house duo Stuart Crichton and Michael Kilkie. Based entirely around the hook from Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long”, it’s basically that sample with a house beat added over the top. That’s it. The paucity of the track and the lack of a proper artist was always a problem for TOTP when it came to a performance on the show which was warranted by its chart position. Here, it’s just four dancers who could be anybody. There aren’t even the anonymous DJ types in the background on a keyboard, there’s just some bloke on a congo drum. There also seem to be some peripheral dancers to the side of the stage one of whom looks suspiciously like a pre-fame Claire from Steps. I can’t work out if these people are part of the act or the studio audience. The only thing that separates this from being a performance by Pan’s People or Legs & Co from the 70s and 80s is when one of the dancers emerges from the throng with a microphone to mumble something or other.

The track is called “Cry India” which is initially confusing given the African sounding Lionel Richie sample its based around. However, those ‘African’ lyrics below were just made up gibberish according to Lionel so they could be as much Indian as African.

Tam bo li de say de moi ya

Hey Jambo Jumbo

Songwriters: Lionel B. Jr. Richie
All Night Long (All Night) lyrics © Chyna Baby Music, Brockman Music, Yfn Lucci Llc, Tig7 Publishing Llc

“Cry India” was a No 19 hit and was followed by “Sunshine” which was based on “Bamboléo” by Gipsy Kings. Bah! Umboza? I’d rather have Umbongo!

Mayo’s Meter: “I’ll be rhyming my links for the rest of the show, there’s Pulp and Iron Maiden raring to go. There’s Mariah and Janet and Vince the composer but new at 19, all dancing Umboza!”

Verdict: He manages to give some teasers for who’s on the show tonight but ‘Vince the composer’?! He means Vince Clarke from Erasure – he does realise they’re a duo doesn’t he? Where’s Andy Bell in that link? And a composer? Songwriter surely is a better description? Very weak – 4/10

The first video of the night is one we’ve already seen before. “Runaway” by Janet Jackson was one of two songs recorded to promote her Best Of album “Design Of A Decade: 1986-1996”. Interestingly, although she’d left her original label A&M in 1991 and signed for Virgin releasing the multi million selling “Janet” with them, she was open to working with her former label to take her first compilation album to market. So reciprocal was the relationship that “Design Of A Decade” included two of the singles from that Virgin album.

“Runaway” though was a new track which had originally been identified as a potential duet with brother Michael but in the end the two decided to unite on “Scream” instead which was the lead single from the “HIStory: Past, Present And Future, Book 1” collection. The promo for the song is pure fantasy nonsense with Janet taking a global trip and appearing next to some of the world’s most recognisable landmarks. At one point, she and her entourage perform a choreographed dance routine on the wing of a plane. Perhaps the most striking image from the whole thing though is Janet’s nose ring and chain which is attached to her braided hair. For all the controversy over Michael’s image throughout his career, even he never went for that particular look.

Mayo’s Meter: “There was an old woman called Janet, went hopping all over the planet. Her brother, she didn’t tell, which was just as well, cos if Michael was in the vid, we’d ban it”.

Verdict: Another nonsensical link. An ‘old woman’? Janet was 29 years old when this single was released! Also, what is this about banning the video if Michael was in it? Sure, the first child abuse accusations had been made against the singer by this point but that hadn’t stopped the BBC from showing his videos. Indeed, Jacko had been No 1 for the last two weeks during which the show played his promo. Make it make sense. Either that or get Mayo to stop. Please! 3/10

Had there ever been a worst opening three acts in the TOTP studio than this?! The Outhere Brothers, Umbozo and now Smokie featuring RoyChubbyBrown!

Novelty (s)hit “Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice?)” is now in the Top 10 proving yet again that you just couldn’t trust the record buying public to make sensible decisions. In this case, they even doubled down on its stupidity by not just buying this version of the bastardised song but also the original* of it by Dutch band Gompie. Twice over! Yes, Gompie initially got there first and had a hit in Europe including the UK with “Alice (Who The X Is Alice?) in June of 1995 peaking at No 34 and then, after the success of the Smokie / Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown version, re-entered the chart reaching No 17. Again, I refer you to Edward Woodward.

*Not the ‘original’ original obviously – I know that was the non-sweary version by Smokie which got to No 5 in 1977.

Mayo’s Meter: “From the dark mists of time an old band called Smokie with Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown who’s a bit of a blokie. Now, they’re singing about this woman called Alice, they’re not going down unlike Crystal Palace”

Verdict: Where do I start?! How about with ‘blokie’. Come on! It’s a terrible rhyme and rather underplays Brown’s offensive act. I’m know it was the era of lads culture but still. Then there’s the ‘going down’ comment. Was that Mayo getting away with something he shouldn’t have by deflecting with a football reference? And what about that reference – was it accurate even? Well, it’s true that Pslace were relegated from the Premier League in 1994/95 but this show was in September when the new season had started. Palace finished third in the First division (now Championship) and were promoted. Try again Mayo – 2/10

At last! Some decent music! After finally securing that elusive massive hit in “Common People” earlier in the year, expectations were now ludicrously high for a Pulp follow up. Jarvis and co didn’t disappoint. Indeed, not only did they meet those expectations but exceeded them with not one but two new songs by releasing a double A-side single. “Mis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s & Wizz” was a brilliant precursor for the band’s iconic “Different Class” album which appeared in the shops at the end of October. Now there was always going to be some outrage about one of those songs given its title but I can see from the BBC4 schedule that Pulp are due back on TOTP in a couple of shows time to perform that track so this week I can just talk about “Mis-Shapes”.

A Cocker-declared anthem for the social outcasts, it was written from very personal experience – Jarvis talked openly about fearing a beating from the ‘townies and beer monsters’ to be found in Sheffield city centre on a Saturday night just because they didn’t like his jacket/trousers/haircut. The lyrics are a call to arms for those demonised as weird and made to feel like a misfit with the title a chocolate themed metaphor. And it works. Lyrics that tell a relatable story combined with a stomping chorus that really gallops along…what’s not to like? Well, Jarvis had some objections and has gone a bit cold on the song subsequently – indeed, it wasn’t included on their 2002 “Hits” collection. I’m sure he wasn’t complaining when the single entered the charts at No 2 though, matching the peak of “Common People”.

Mayo’s Meter: “And now it’s the time we’re going to get to an exclusive, about this band, ooh, we get all effusive. They’re gonna make you swallow, they’re gonna make you gulp, would you welcome please…Pulp”

Verdict: Well, ‘exclusive’ and “effusive’ is a decent rhyme and I guess there aren’t too many words that rhyme with Pulp but it’s Mayo so I can only give him so much credit – 5/10

Two hits on the trot now that we’ve seen before starting with “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey. We may have we seen it before but that doesn’t stop the TOTP producers just giving us the same satellite performance clip that we got first time around. As if that wasn’t enough, they try to kid us that this is still some sort of big deal by emblazoning the caption ‘via satellite’ all over it at the start of the song. Come on! We’re not that daft!

Mayo’s Meter: “I wondered lonely as a cloud, I saw a woman all beautiful and hairy; I said ‘Hang on, I know you, you’re that popular Mariah Carey”

Verdict: This is just awful. Who describes a woman with long hair as hairy?! Worse than that though, he brings Wordsworth into his nonsense! 2/10

And so we arrive at that well known synth pop duo ‘Vince the composer’ and the other guy (i.e. Erasure) who are back in the TOTP studio for a second time to perform their single “Stay With Me”. Taken from their eponymously titled seventh album, this was the point when their commercial fortunes started to tail off. Of those previous six studio albums, the last four had all topped the charts as did their first Best Of, 1992’s “Pop! The First 20 Hits”. “Erasure” (the album) would peak at No 14 with neither of the singles released from it making the Top 10. Maybe Andy and Vince had had enough of churning out the hits and wanted to experiment with their sound a bit. Certainly that’s what the press reviews seemed to make of the album – experimental and contemplative. Apart from the opening intro, all of the tracks were over five and a half minutes in length – the longest clicked in at a towering 10:01! Three minute pop songs? Pah! The album version of “Stay With Me” is nearly seven minutes long but clearly we get the shortened single edit here. Truncated or not, it’s still a decent song.

Mayo’s Meter: “Now a former exclusive as I’m sure that you know, a band who are lauded wherever they go. In Europe, America and of course Asia, err…get your rubbers out and welcome Erasure!”

Verdict: Woeful. Who welcomes anybody with a rubber (yes I get the pun!) unless you are a rubber/eraser salesman attending an industry conference and you are greeted with a welcome pack of them. Maybe. Of course, when I was at school, a ‘rubber’ was short for something else which I’m sure Vince and Andy wouldn’t have wanted to be welcomed by! 3/10

Here’s the band that did the to camera piece at the top of the show. Iron Maiden hadn’t released any new material since 1992’s “Fear Of The Dark” album and in the intervening years had lost their lead singer Bruce Dickinson who left in 1993 to pursue a solo career. After a lengthy audition process, Blaze Bayley was recruited from fellow heavy metallers Wolfsbane – Bayley co-wrote this single “Man On The Edge”. Inspired by the excellent Michael Douglas film Falling Down, it sounds like standard Iron Maiden fare to my admittedly non-fan ears despite the presence of the newbie. Is it just me or does he look a bit like comedian Ross Noble with that long hair and sideburns? Bayley would stay with the band until 1999 at which point Dickinson rejoined.

Mayo’s Meter: “Now this lot haven’t been on since the year ‘81, they’re good heavy rockers, just here to have fun. They’re called Iron Maiden with new man Blaze Bayley, so why not annoy the neighbours and play it twice daily”

Verdict: Is that factually accurate? Iron Maiden hadn’t been on the show since 1981? Of course not (they had a No 1 in 1991 so they must have featured at least once) but I guess Mayo means in the actual TOTP studio rather than a promo video. However, according to the TOTP archive website, Mayo is still wrong as their last such appearance was in 1980 not 1981. 5/10 (points docked for inaccuracy)

It’s a new No 1 and a second UK chart topper of his career for Shaggy. Cards on the table, I’ve never liked anything this guy has done and “Boombastic” wasn’t anything like an exception. I hated all his ‘Mr Lover Lover’ / bump ‘n’ grind bullshit and we’d already seen the use of the made up word ‘Boombastic’ by Dream Warriors in “My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style” years earlier. It all felt so uninspired and shoddy.

The success of Shaggy’s song was no doubt aided by its use in the latest Levi’s advert that was airing at the time. By reaching the pinnacle of the charts he followed in the footsteps of Ben E. King, Steve Miller Band, The Clash and Stiltskin all of who were Levi’s fuelled No 1 singles. The good news is that Shaggy only lasted one week at the top (hurray!); bad news is that he will be replaced by Simply Red (boo!).

Mayo’s Meter: “Now if you like your jeans loose and all baggy, there’s some new ones down the shops. And you know that bloke that promotes them, Shaggy…well guess what? He’s Top of the Pops”.

Verdict: Undeniably awful. Doesn’t scan at all and the rhymes are shoe horned in. Just shite – 1/10

The play out video is another plug for the returning TOTP2 series and is, for me, easily the best thing shown on this programme – Roxy Music with “Dance Away”. I’m not reviewing that though as it’s an outlier with the rest of the show. There is still time for one last chance for Rhymin’ Simon to impress me…

Mayo’s Meter: “Next week exclusives from Def Leppard and TLC and it’s fortunately presented by Steve Lamacq and Jo Whi-ley. Which is very good. Have a nice night, I think you might. Don’t fight, it’s not right.”

Verdict: Oh just f**k off Mayo!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The Outhere BrothersLa La La Hey HeyAs if
2UmbozaCry IndiaDidn’t happen
3Janet JacksonRunawayNah
4Smokie featuring Roy ‘Chubby’ BrownLiving Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice?)Never!
5PulpMis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s & WizzNo but I had their Different Class album
6Mariah CareyFantasyNope
7ErasureStay With MeI did not
8Iron MaidenMan On The EdgeNo
9ShaggyBoombastic I did but only for a friend who liked it so they could use my shop discount. Honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wkgj/top-of-the-pops-21091995?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 14 SEP 1995

After last week’s nadir of content, things aren’t much better this week I have to say with a couple of honourable exceptions. It’s another ‘golden mic’ presenter slot again though unlike last week, I’m not expecting much. The double act of Jo Brand and Mark Lamarr were two of my favourite holders of the chalice but the bar is seriously lowered as this time it’s Robbie Williams. Not long departed from Take That, the cheeky Stoke-on-Trent lad probably seemed like a decent shout for the role given that he was headline news even before his solo career had begun* due to the fall out from the Take That split.

*He wouldn’t release his first solo single until July 1996

However, he must also have been a considerable risk given his appearance at that year’s Glastonbury Festival when he was clearly under the influence of…something. He was a loose cannon. He jokes early on that he’d even stayed sober for the show. Well, let’s see if he can live up to one of his song titles and entertain us…

We start tonight with D:Ream who were starting to run out of steam (and sales) some eighteen months after their No 1 song “Things Can Only Get Better”. Having taken the opportunity afforded by such a big hit and run with it by releasing a flurry of further singles to almost constant diminishing returns, the party was entering the past-midnight-talking-shite phase. Take “Party Up The World” for example. The second single from sophomore album “World”, it sounds like it was written to order to supply a middling sized hit with an equivalent sized amount of quality. The song is not aided by Peter Cunnah’s live vocal here – he definitely hits a bum note early on. “Party Up The World” would give D:Ream a No 20 hit but after that it was a case of reliving the glories of “Things Can Only Get Better” which was most famously utilised by the Labour Party for their 1997 General Election campaign. I wonder if Howard Jones ever sits at home and in a quiet moment of reflection thinks “What was wrong with my song?”

Oh, one last thing. The chorus from “Party Up The World” is surely ever so slightly influenced by this Erasure tune which is ironic as D:Ream also released a single called “Star” which didn’t sound anything like the synth pop duo’s track…

Some Eurodance next courtesy of Cappella who have changed their singer since the last time we saw them. After Kelly Overett departed, a replacement was found in the form of Alison Jordan who was initially discovered via the Search For A Star competition on BBC’s That’s Life show in 1992.

After their last few hits all had titles that were variations of the usage of the word ‘move’ and the letter ‘U’ (meaning ‘you’), the group returned to an earlier hit for the inspiration for this latest one. In 1992, they made it to No 25 in our Top 40 with “Take Me Away” and in 1995, they achieved their final UK hit with “Tell Me The Way” – it’s clever stuff no? No, not really and neither was this tune. It sounds like they’d cut and pasted the most obvious and shittiest riffs and beats from every Eurodance hit ever and just glued them altogether – the musical equivalent of a patchwork quilt but one covered in excrement.

Capella never had another UK Top 40 hit but the project is still a going concern albeit with a totally different line up and they performed on the 90s nostalgia circuit. They even released a single as recently as 2023 called “Happy Phonk” but nobody really noticed.

Unable to resist the lure of tomfoolery any longer, the previously staid and sensible persona Robbie Williams had adopted tonight until now goes out of the window as he goes into skit mode. The premise of said skit is that he’s going to reveal the truth behind what Take That are really like but the only rehearsed line he gets out before an extra dressed as a security guard drags him off camera is that they drink camomile tea. Are you entertained yet? As comedy routines go, it’s hardly up there with the “Don’t tell him, Pike!” scene from Dad’s Army is it?

The first video of the night comes from Foo Fighters for their second ever single “I’ll Stick Around”. It’s another pretty nifty, driving rock tune though not as strong a track as their debut single “This Is A Call” to my ears. Dave Grohl looks so young here but then I guess we all did 29 years ago. I used to work with a guy called Dave at Our Price who looked a bit like Grohl though on reflection I’m wondering if the lookie-likie claims were purely based on the fact that Dave had long rock hair and his name was…well…Dave.

And suddenly, from out of nowhere, a man who hadn’t had a UK Top 40 hit since 1988 and hadn’t been on TOTP for a decade. That appearance had been as part of Lloyd Cole and The Commotions performing their single “Lost Weekend”. If you’d told the 17 year old me back then that Lloyd wouldn’t be on the show for another 10 years, I would have dismissed you as a crackpot completely divorced from musical reality and yet that is exactly what happened. But how did it pan out like this? Well, after “Lost Weekend”, things quietened down for Lloyd and the Commotions. Follow up single “Cut Me Down” barely scraped into the Top 40 and then the band disappeared for nigh on two years recording their difficult third album “Mainstream”. When it did finally come out, it seemed that the world had moved on from their crafted, intelligent jangle pop and despite achieving gold status, the three singles from it could only muster these chart peaks:

46 – 31 – 59

The writing was on the wall and the band read it. They split in 1989 leaving Lloyd to pursue a solo career that somehow never seemed to chime with commercial trends. Three albums were released in quick succession in the early 90s but to limited sales. Not one of them produced a Top 40 single. And then, something finally stuck with public opinion. “Like Lovers Do”, the lead single from fourth album “Love Story” made No 24 in the charts and a TOTP appearance was warranted. I don’t know why the stars aligned between Lloyd and the record buying public on this particular single and no other – maybe it was just good marketing and promotion but it’s a nice enough song I guess.

I always liked Lloyd right from “Perfect Skin” though I can’t say I followed his solo career in too much detail. However, I saw him and the Commotions on the “Mainstream” tour when he failed to say more than two words to the audience and years later on his own in New Mills when he wouldn’t stop talking. His opening line in the latter gig to the crowd was “I know you’re all sat there thinking Lloyd Cole has let himself go a bit. Well, you should have a look in the mirror”. Excellent!

Next a song that I do remember but which I don’t recall so much fuss being made about it at the time as seems to have been written about it online since. “Fantasy” was the lead single from Mariah Carey’s fifth studio album “Daydream”. Her previous one “Music Box”* had been a monster selling 28 million copies worldwide.

*Technically her third album but I’m disregarding her 1994 Christmas collection

So how do you follow that? You just churn out a copycat album don’t you? Based purely on lead single “Fantasy”, it sounded to me like she’d done just that – it didn’t seem a whole lot different to something like “Dreamlover”. But then, I hadn’t heard the Bad Boy remix by Puff Daddy. This was the evidence of Mariah’s new direction. Featuring rapping from Wu-Tang Clan’s Ol’ Dirty Bastard, it was seen as a milestone recording by many for the fusion of urban/hip hop with mainstream pop with an emphasis on rap as a featuring act. Alongside “I’ll Be There For You / All I Need To Get By” Method Man and Mary J. Blige, it was designated as an early recording of the “Thug-Love” sub genre.

Apparently, the rest of the album was of a more R&B flavour which caused much concern and consternation at her label Columbia who really didn’t want to mess with the formula that had brought her and them so much success. The head of Sony Music (and Mariah’s husband at the time) Tommy Mottola was especially vexed. Mariah knew best however and the album was another huge seller shifting 20 million copies worldwide with “Fantasy” going to No 1 in the US and No 4 over here.

I’m not sure that this live by satellite performance from New York was worth the effort though. Is that the official video playing on the huge tv screens behind Mariah? Wouldn’t they have been better off just showing that?

Inevitably, Robbie Williams has gone there and resorted to chatting up a female audience member for his next link. Obviously, it’s all staged (he puts on a silly fake American accent) but it’s still not a good look especially 29 years on.

OK, so back with the music and it’s another showing of the studio appearance by The Rembrandts from the other week. Watching it back, I’ve noticed that in the version of “I’ll Be There For You” the band perform here, the iconic handclaps at the end of the first line seem very low in the mix and nowhere near as prominent as in the opening credits for Friends. That seem a little odd as although the addition of them wasn’t the band’s idea and they didn’t actually record them (they were done by the show’s creators who wanted to be on the record in some way), supposedly The Rembrandts thought the clapping was the best part of the song. There’s only four claps after that first line (though it sounds like more) but apparently it took loads of takes to record as the aforementioned show’s creators just couldn’t get the hang of it. I wonder if their mothers warned them that there’d be days like these?

There’s two ways to consider the next hit on the show – either it’s a clever updating (by 1995 standards) of a classic disco track or…it’s an heinous abomination of an idea that should have been dismissed as soon as it crystallised in the originator’s brain. I think, rather predictably, I’m of the latter opinion. NTrance had started the year with one of the biggest dance anthems of the decade in “Set You Free”. Featuring vocals from Kelly Llorenna, it was a genuine, credible Hi-NRG, rave track. I, for one, didn’t see them following it up by going the tacky cover version route.

“Stayin’ Alive”, of course, was originally by the Bee Gees and was part of the soundtrack to the movie and indeed cultural phenomenon that was Saturday Night Fever. A huge global hit, it was an American No 1 song and UK No 4 in 1978. Fast forward 17 years and it was given the rap treatment by Ricardo da Force whose previous credits included some of The KLF’s biggest hits. Now, given those credentials, I would have hoped for a better outcome than what N-Trance served up which seemed to me to be calculated and cynical to appeal to the cattle market disco crowd.

The performance here goes big on all the 70s disco motifs including the obligatory geezer in the white John Travolta suit. It all seems a bit naff. However, the part where he removes his jacket and twirls it around and throws it into the audience before it is slung back landing on his arm is choreographed quite well. And that’s as positive as I can be about this one. Nasty stuff.

Despite being trailed as the play out track on last week’s show and still not to be released for another four days, Simply Red are back on the show to perform their new single “Fairground”. Not wishing to be outdone by Capella’s costumes earlier, Hucknall has turned up in his own full PVC outfit. For the love of God man! Why?! This was clearly his full on, decadent pop star phase. Check out his overflowing ginger locks as well!

I’m reminded of my own Mick story which I’ve told before but which seems appropriate here. When I first worked in Manchester at the Our Price store in Market Street as a Christmas temp, there was a young woman on the staff called Natalie who was very attractive (I think she’d done done some modelling). One morning she came into work and told us that Mick Hucknall had chatted her up in a bar and wanted to see her again but she wasn’t sure what to do about it. A bit later that day, I answered the work phone and the person on the other end asked to speak to Natalie. When I asked who was calling he simply replied “Mick”. It was Hucknall! In the end, Natalie told him she wasn’t interested I think. That’s not quite the end of the story though. One morning, Natalie turned up to work in a skin tight, black catsuit. I’m not sure she’d been home from another night out. She turned to me and said, “Do you think my outfit is a bit much?”. I didn’t know where to look! Fast forward five years though and I certainly didn’t want to look at Mick Hucknall in his own version of a catsuit!

What’s that?! What about the song? Oh look, “Fairground” will be No 1 soon enough and for 4 weeks so there’ll be plenty of time to discuss it in a future post!

Michael Jackson is No 1 with “You Are Not Alone” for the second and final week. Jackson, like Mariah Carey, recorded for Sony and just as the Songbird Supreme’s (© The Guinness Book of World Records) relationship with the company’s CEO Tommy Mottola deteriorated to the point of divorce, so The King of Pop (© erm…Michael Jackson?) also had issues with him. Big issues. In a 2002 press conference, he called him a racist and held up a picture of Mottola depicted as the devil. Sony refuted the claims and refused to renew Jackson’s contract. In 2020, Kanye West even suggested that Mottola had something to do with Jackson’s death in 2009 in a since deleted tweet though I’m not sure Kanye is the most reliable source of information.

The play out track is “Let’s Spend The Night Together” by the Rolling Stones which was played to advertise the return of TOTP2 as highlighted by Robbie Williams in his final piece to camera but I’m not spending the night or any other time reviewing that one.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1D:ReamParty Up The WorldNope
2CappellaTell Me The WayNever
3Foo FightersI’ll Stick AroundI did not
4Lloyd ColeLike Lovers DoI didn’t as it goes
5Mariah CareyFantasyNah
6The RembrandtsI’ll Be There For YouYes for my wife but she gave it away to our Friends obsessed goddaughter
7N-TranceStayin’ AliveAs if
8Simply RedFairgroundIts a definite no
9Michael JacksonYou Are Not AloneAnd No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wc3t/top-of-the-pops-14091995?seriesId=unsliced