TOTP 1999 – the epilogue

As with seemingly every year, 1999 brought us the usual bad news stories – war and conflict, earthquakes, political turmoil etc but let’s not dwell on all that – the state of the world is shocking enough in 2026 without reminding ourselves that it was ever thus. In popular culture, the Pokémon phenomenon took over the world whilst in TV, The Sopranos, Family Guy and SpongeBob SquarePants premiered. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace was predictably the biggest grossing film of the year though one of the most talked about movies was the genre bending The Blair Witch Project.

In technology, the way we consumed music was about to change forever. File sharing network Napster was launched ushering in a musical digital revolution. As the year and indeed the century ended, technology was at the forefront of all our minds as the fear of the millennium bug loomed. In the end, those fears came to nought but in terms of 1999’s music (in the charts at least) they were realised.

As for TOTP itself, we were still in the Chris Cowey era and after he’d introduced a new theme tune, logo and title sequence the year before, 1999 saw the executive producer focus on the show’s running order and, let’s be fair, he made a right mess of it. The historical mantra that a song must be No 1, a new entry or going up the charts to be featured was totally ransacked with records descending the Top 40 regularly showcased. The constant rotation of No 1s meant that we often had the spectacle of ending a show and starting the next with the same hit as last week’s chart topper was shown again immediately despite having been knocked of its perch. If it was frustrating to watch back then, reviewing the BBC4 repeats in 2026 was torturous.

The show’s main presenters were Jamie Theakston, Jayne Middlemiss and Scott Mills though we also saw the introduction of Gail Porter as a replacement for Kate Thornton. There was also the curious footnote of TOTP history that was Emma Ledden’s solitary appearance.

OK, well, let’s stick to tradition and look at the year’s Top 50 singles:

Best-selling singles

No.TitleArtistPeak
position
1…Baby One More TimeBritney Spears1
2Blue (Da Ba Dee)Eiffel 651
3The Millennium PrayerCliff Richard1
4Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…)Lou Bega1
59 PM (Till I Come)ATB1
6Livin’ La Vida LocaRicky Martin1
7That Don’t Impress Me MuchShania Twain3
8Sweet Like ChocolateShanks and Bigfoot1
9Flat BeatMr Oizo1
10When the Going Gets ToughBoyzone1
11Bring It All BackS Club 71
12Better Off AloneDJ Jurgen presents Alice Deejay2
13Genie in a BottleChristina Aguilera1
14Perfect MomentMartine McCutcheon1
15Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!Vengaboys1
16No ScrubsTLC3
17If I Could Turn Back the Hands of TimeR. Kelly2
18When You Say Nothing at AllRonan Keating1
19Heartbeat“/”TragedySteps1
20I TryMacy Gray6
212 TimesAnn Lee2
22My Love Is Your LoveWhitney Houston2
23Beautiful StrangerMadonna2
24Turn AroundPhats & Small2
25It’s Not Right but It’s OkayWhitney Houston3
26I Have a Dream“/”Seasons in the SunWestlife1
27Witch DoctorCartoons2
28King of My CastleWamdue Project1
29We Like to Party! (The Vengabus)Vengaboys3
30Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)The Offspring1
31Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)Baz Luhrmann1
32Wild Wild WestWill Smith2
33MariaBlondie1
34SometimesBritney Spears3
35I Want It That WayBackstreet Boys1
36Keep On Movin’Five1
37Re-Rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta)The Artful Dodger featuring Craig David2
38We’re Going to Ibiza!Vengaboys1
39TenderBlur2
40You Get What You GiveNew Radicals5
41My Name IsEminem2
42Mi Chico LatinoGeri Halliwell1
43The LaunchDJ Jean2
44You Don’t Know MeArmand van Helden featuring Duane Harden1
45(Mucho Mambo) SwayShaft2
46Swear It AgainWestlife1
47Man! I Feel Like a Woman!Shania Twain3
48She’s the One“/”It’s Only UsRobbie Williams1
49You Needed MeBoyzone1
50Fly AwayLenny Kravitz1

The first thing to say is how many No 1s there were! Twenty-nine of the Top 50 were chart toppers. In total there were thirty-six singles that made it to the top which I’m pretty sure was a record. This was no doubt down to heavy first week discounting by the record companies which the public very soon got on board with and wise to. Three weeks at the top was the maximum time any of those records managed with the first nine weeks of the year seeing nine different songs at the summit. Only two of the Top 50 were singles that peaked outside of the Top 3. As for the Top 10 best sellers, I’d break them down like this:

  • Six were dance hits of one hue or another
  • One was by an established boy band
  • One was by a country artist crossing over into the mainstream with a hybrid sound
  • One was by a new teenage singing sensation
  • One was by Cliff Richard!

Clearly dance music still dominated the charts but what was interesting (possibly) was the different genres represented. Eurodance, Latino, garage, electro house, trance…it was exhausting. Further down the list we found returning superstars such as Madonna, Whitney Houston, Lenny Kravitz and most surprising of all Blondie. We still hadn’t had enough of novelty singles with South Park‘s Chef, Bad Luhrmann, Cartoons and, arguably, Mr Oizo all having huge hits.

Boybands may not have been having it all their own way anymore but Boyzone, Five, Backstreetboys and the depressing emergence of Westlife ensured they were still very much able to pull in sales from a devoted fanbase. Girl groups though were on the wane it seemed with the Spice Girls releasing no new material but laucnching solo careers instead whilst B* Witched looked on decidedly dodgy ground come the year end. However, girl/boy combos were finding success easier to come by with S Club 7 and Steps both featuring. How many of the Top 50 did I buy? One. Any guesses which? OK, I’ll put you out of your misery…it was New Radicals.

Best-selling albums

So let’s move on to the best selling albums…

No.TitleArtistPeak
position
1Come On OverShania Twain1
2By RequestBoyzone1
3The Man WhoTravis1
4Gold: Greatest HitsABBA1
5Performance and CocktailsStereophonics1
6I’ve Been Expecting YouRobbie Williams1
7SteptacularSteps1
8Talk on CornersThe Corrs1
9WestlifeWestlife2
10On How Life IsMacy Gray3
11The HushTexas1
12All the Way… A Decade of SongCeline Dion1
13You’ve Come a Long Way, BabyFatboy Slim1
14…Baby One More TimeBritney Spears4
15My Love Is Your LoveWhitney Houston4
16Step OneSteps3
17The Miseducation of Lauryn HillLauryn Hill2
18Songs from the Last CenturyGeorge Michael2
19Forgiven, Not ForgottenThe Corrs2
20The Party Album!Vengaboys6
21S ClubS Club 72
22Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George MichaelGeorge Michael1
23ReloadTom Jones1
24SynkronizedJamiroquai1
25You Me & UsMartine McCutcheon2
26Greatest Hits IIIQueen5
27InvincibleFive4
28FanMailTLC7
29Ray of LightMadonna7
30The Greatest HitsCher7
31UnpluggedThe Corrs9
32This Is My Truth Tell Me YoursManic Street Preachers4
33Life thru a LensRobbie Williams8
34SurrenderThe Chemical Brothers1
35Ricky MartinRicky Martin2
36Charlotte ChurchCharlotte Church8
37MillenniumBackstreet Boys2
38Gran TurismoThe Cardigans8
39SchizophonicGeri Halliwell4
40Turn It On Again: The HitsGenesis4
41WillenniumWill Smith10
42The Very Best of Dean Martin: The Capitol & Reprise YearsDean Martin5
4313Blur1
44The Best of MeBryan Adams12
45SognoAndrea Bocelli4
46Where We BelongBoyzone3
47Equally Cursed and BlessedCatatonia1
48BelieveCher7
49Twenty Four SevenTina Turner9
50AmericanaThe Offspring10

Yet again, my overall impression is how mainstream most of the artists were. The Corrs, Celine Dion, Westlife, Texas, Cher, Bryan Adams are just a few of the names that stand out on first glance. Then there’s legacy acts like ABBA, Queen and Dean Martin…where were the new artists? OK, Britney Spears and Macy Gray. Who else? Martine McCutcheon? Please! Even breakthrough names like Travis had already been around for a while before hitting it big in 1999.

If new artists were hard to find, now about non-mainstream acts? I’ll offer you The Offspring, The Chemical Brothers, TLC, Fatboy Slim, Stereophonics, Catatonia and The Cardigans. It’s not many is it? Best Ofs and Greatest Hits were still doing decent business accounting for nearly a fifth of the Top 50 whilst Cher, George Michael, Robbie Williams, The Corrs, Boyzone and Steps all had two albums on the list making up nearly a quarter of the chart. As for the year’s best seller, give me strength! What on earth was happening?! And me personally, How many did I own? Maybe three? Four or five if you add in my wife’s contributions. A vintage year it was not.

Hits We Missed

We missed five shows that BBC4 did not broadcast in this run of 1999 TOTP repeats due to the Scott Mills sacking controversy and the Gouryella cultural appropriation issue. Two of those are addressed below whilst there are a further two that weren’t deemed big enough hits to warrant a place in the running order.

Duran Duran – “Electric Barbarella”

Released: Jan ‘99

Chart peak: No 23

Duran Duran were having hits in 1999?! Yes, they were but this one will take a bit of explaining as it has quite the back story. Six years on from their Indian Summer moment that was “Ordinary World” and their seventh studio and second eponymous album aka “The Wedding Album”, the band’s fortunes had taken a bit of a nose dive. The disastrous decision to record a cover versions album – 1995’s “Thank You” – as its follow up (which Q magazine declared the worst of all time in 2006) had derailed the good will and credibility they’d acquired with that comeback to the point that their ninth studio album “Medazzaland” was only released by record label Capitol in the territories of North America, Latin America and Japan. It wasn’t officially released in the UK on various digital platforms until 2021 and finally a physical release the year after.

“Electric Barbarella” was one of two singles released from it but only initially in America where it made little impression. That could have been the end of its story but come 1998, the relationship between the band and their record company reached breaking point after the commercial failure of the whole “Medazzaland” project and they parted company with EMI. And guess what EMI did next? They tried to maximise the commercial returns of their previous charges by raiding their back catalogue for a Best Of collection. Of course they did.

Rather unsurprisingly, it turned out that although the UK didn’t have much of an appetite for new Duran Duran material, when it came to revisiting their past glories, then there was definitely a whole to be filled. The “Greatest” album would eventually go three times platinum, updating as it did, 1989’s “Decade” collection. I say ‘updating’ but, in truth, there were only four songs on it from the 90s one of which (and crucial to our story) was “Electric Barbarella”. Off the back of the success of “Greatest”, it was finally given a UK release in its own right. OK but one week spent at No 23 isn’t much of a story you might well comment. However, here’s the kicker which places the track at the heart of the biggest change in music consumption ever. “Electric Barbarella” is widely considered to be the first ever single by a major label artist available for digital purchase/download on the internet. No really.

The alt-rock and pop history website Diffuser has a great piece about the song’s significance and it’s so interesting to read about some of the concerns and attitudes such a milestone release caused back then. Whilst their label was initially reticent about the whole concept, they eventually relented and the track was to be made available as a digital download two weeks before the physical single hit record shop racks. The retail sector had a wobble about supporting a format that seemed to be given exclusivity and Capitol caved by synchronising release dates. Some of the prevailing attitudes of the time have not aged well though. Look at this quote from Scott Burnett, the VP of Marketing at Liquid Audio, the company Duran Duran partnered with to deliver the electronic version:

“This is about creating additional revenue—not about taking away established revenue streams.”

20 Years Ago: Duran Duran Make Music History by Selling ‘Electric Barbarella’ as a Digital Single; Annie Zaleski, diffuser.fm; 2017

Didn’t really work out like that did it Scott? Then there was Robin Bechtel, senior director of new media (U.S.):

“Most people who find out about music on the Internet do go down to their local retailer to make a purchase. This will help to generate more sales at retail.”

20 Years Ago: Duran Duran Make Music History by Selling ‘Electric Barbarella’ as a Digital Single; Annie Zaleski, diffuser.fm; 2017

Ha! Anyway, as for the song itself, it was a very electro track, with a repetitive, driving rhythm and simple but hooky chorus but its most interesting parts were the sonic effects in the mix that gave it a claustrophobic, under duress feel. The rather inevitable film reference in its title that gave the band their name reminded me of that time that The Rolling Stones finally recorded Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone” for their live album “Stripped”. The robot sex doll video for “Electric Barbarella” will surely only be remembered for all the wrong reasons though. And if you think I’m done with artists who made their names in the 80s in a review of 1999, then think again…

Groove Armada – “At The River”

Released: Jul ‘99

Chart peak: No 19

Another hit now that wasn’t huge in terms of its chart position but it was in terms of its reach. Groove Armada are the electronic music duo of Andy Cato and Tom Findlay who had visited the Top 40 earlier in the year with the single “If Everybody Looked the Same” but it was “At The River” that really announced them, certainly to me at least. What a curious thing this was. Ostensibly a dance track, this was no high bpm dance floor filler though. No, this was an early morning, come down tune that would become a staple in the running order of all those ‘Chilled Ibiza’ compilation albums.

Those solitary two lines of lyrics – “If you’re fond of sand dunes and salty air, Quaint little villages here and there” – are sampled from the 1957 song “Old Cape Cod” which was recorded by American country and pop music singer Patti Page whom I’ve never heard of before and certainly didn’t know about back in 1999. Indeed, Cato and Findlay only became aware of the track whilst holidaying in the Lake District when they bought a 1950s compilation album from a bargain bin in a shop in Ambleside for 50p. Added to that, the mesmerising trombone solo was only included because Andy Cato had brought his instrument with him on holiday to practice for a forthcoming jazz concert. On such random incidents can huge moments in popular culture be made.

“At The River”‘s ubiquity and lazy beats didn’t help though when it came to staging the performance of it on TOTP. A hazy sheen visual effect and a small monitor showing the talking head part of the official video seemed to be the only idea the programme makers could come up with to enliven what was on our screens. That and a fair bit of attention on the very blonde woman on the keyboards. The track would have a second life in 2006 when it was used to soundtrack adverts for Marks & Spencer Food and you don’t get bigger moments in popular culture than that (ahem).

Travis – “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?”

Released: Aug ‘99

Chart peak: No 10

I’ve included this one as Travis really were the breakout stars of 1999 and although they would go on to have bigger hits, this single seemed to me to be the one that made a statement of intent – they were on their way and there would be no turning back. Ironically, it’s opening lyrics – “I can’t sleep tonight, Everybody’s saying everything is alright” – refers to a late night conversation between songwriter Fran Healy and their manager who was trying to reassure the former that the band’s career was taking off whilst Healy himself wasn’t convinced. In many ways, it mirrored the rise of Oasis who after two middling-sized hits, unleashed “Live Forever” and we knew that they meant business. Lending weight to that comparison is the fact that both “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?” and “Live Forever” peaked at No 10.

Sonically, I don’t think there’s that much similarity between them (any musicians reading this will no doubt correct me) although Healy has admitted to pinching the chords from “Wonderwall” for the Travis hit “Writing To Reach You” even referencing the Oasis song in its lyrics. “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?” is almost jaunty in its chorus (despite its oppositional lyric) whereas “Live Forever” has a heavier, almost defiant tone to it. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that WDIAROM also picked up extensive radio play which helped establish Travis in the minds of the public who had not yet caught up with the band.

In a Guardian article in 2020, Fran Healy stated that the moment they started playing the song in their set at Glastonbury 1999, the heavens opened and that everything turned around for them and superstardom beckoned. I guess a song called “Why Doesn’t It Always Rain On Me?” wouldn’t have translated as well.

The Divine Comedy – “Gin Soaked Boy”

Released: Nov ‘99

Chart peak: No 38

Not only did we miss “The Pop Singer’s Fear Of The Pollen Count” on the show due to the Scott Mills controversy, but we also missed this little gem from The Divine Comedy because it wasn’t considered a big enough hit I guess. Both tracks came from the compilation album “A Secret History…” and both deserved to be bigger hits (TPSFOTPC peaked at No 17) but the ignoring of “Gin Soaked Boy” by the record buying public bordered on criminal.

Sometimes the lyrics to a song pass you by (even if you enjoy its sound ) but in this case, the track is all about the lyrics. Now, whether you hear them as random nonsense or cleverly constructed rhyming couplets that play on oppositional meanings, that’s up to you. Personally, I find it intriguing even on repeated hearings with my favourite line being the penultimate and ridiculous “I’m Jeff Goldblum in The Fly“. Glorious stuff. If you still weren’t convinced by it, then the CD single included the Father Ted theme “Songs Of Love” and the marvellous Eurovision entry “My Lovely Horse” from the episode ‘A Song for Europe’. What more could you ask for?

As for the song’s title, it must have been borrowed from the song of the same name from the Tom Waits 1983 album Swordfishtrombones” which also includes the wonderful “In The Neighbourhood”. Neil Hannon himself says that the gin reference is about ‘spirit’ using the word’s alcoholic definition as a metaphor for resilience within the human condition. Or something. Whether my liking for the song has any bearing on my liking of the drink I’m not sure. If I’m not the gin soaked boy, though, well, who am I?

Hits That Never Were

Slim pickings in this section again, so much so that I had to resort to seeking out two fallen 80s idols.

Toploader – “Let The People Know”

Released: Aug ‘99

Chart peak: No 52

The ubiquity of their hit “Dancing In The Moonlight” (and, let’s be honest, its tweeness) is generally perceived to have taken a sledgehammer to Toploader’s credibility, a blow from which they have never recovered. Now, I’m not saying that I disagree with that but they didn’t start out as everybody’s go to bland band to hate on (or was that the aforementioned Travis?). This single which preceded that mega hit was a precision-tooled, driving, darting arrowhead of disco-influenced soul-pop that was as startling as it was slick.

I first heard it not on initial release but as part of a free gift CD attached to the cover of Q Magazine about a year or so later and, on first listen, it almost blew me away. It was unconscionable that they were the same band which released that King Harvest cover. Even the Rocky inspired video felt like it fitted. Maybe they should have rereleased it as the follow up to “Dancing In The Moonlight” instead of “Achilles Heel” although, to be fair, that was a decent tune as well.

I guess I didn’t subscribe to that theory that they were the ultimate creators of generic, safe, uninspired and inoffensive rock/pop music. In fact, I’m sure I didn’t as I saw them live once (gulp!). No, wait! Come back! It was when I was living in York having left Manchester and you didn’t get many names on the circuit come to York at the time so I went. They were OK as I recall.

There is, of course, a link from them to TOTP 1999 even though they didn’t appear on the show during that year which is that their guitarist Dan Hipgrave was dating the aforementioned presenter Gail Porter (and was presumably the envy of many a teenage lad back then). They married in 2001 but separated three years later before divorcing. He would subsequently marry sports presenter Lynsey Horn.

Howard Jones – “Let The People Have Their Say”

Released: Feb ‘99

Chart peak: No 99

I guess once you have “Let The People Know” then the logical progression is to “Let The People Have Their Say”. The paucity of decent entries for this section has led me to find out what a pop hero of the mid 80s was up to in 1999. Sadly, Howard Jones had long since faded from the minds of the general UK record buying public. His last Top 40 hit had been 1986’s “All I Want” which itself had only just secured that status by clambering to No 35. After that it had all been downhill over here though he had remained a significant live draw in the US.

After his ten year record deal with Warners had expired in 1993, he’d resorted to releasing albums on his own Dtox label via his website and at live gigs. One such release was “People” from which the single “Let The People Have Their Say” was taken. A jaunty, bounce-a-long pop tune with a calypso feel, it was never likely to become a huge hit up against the boybands and dance anthems that were occupying the charts at the time. It’s a nice enough tune though and until 2005 when he featured on Mohito’s No 82 hit, was the last time he ever broke the Top 100 barrier. One final thing though Howard. If you let the people have their say, they invariably get it wrong.

Nik Kershaw – “Somebody Loves You”

Released: Feb ‘99

Chart peak: No 70

Now, it was always the case that Howard Jones and Nik Kershaw came as a pair so…in truth though, it is odd how their careers have almost run in parallel. They both hit within a few months of each other, both had huge selling debut albums with the word ‘Human’ in the title and their chart careers both fell away at almost exactly the same time with the release of their third albums. By 1999, they were still in sync in terms of a lack of commercial success albeit that Kershaw had written a No 1 hit for Chesney Hawkes eight years earlier. However, in terms of racking up the sales under their own names…well, there was virtually nothing.

In the case of Nik though, he hadn’t actually released any music as a solo artist since 1989’s “The Works” as he’d been writing and collaborating with other artists for most of the decade including Genesis’s Tony Banks, Elton John, Les Rythmes Digitales and…erm…Let Loose. However, for his fifth album “15 Minutes”, Kershaw decided that nobody but him could record those songs and so he returned to the studio in his own right.

The lead single from it was “Somebody Loves You”, a very melodic, very mature, very well constructed pop/rock song so, obviously, the crap-obsessed record buying public of 1999 weren’t having it at all. It surely deserved better than its No 70 chart placing. The video with Nik as a living museum exhibit foreshadowed the House Of Annie Lennox exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum which on occasion saw her working within a perspex box by 13 years. Kershaw has continued to record and tour extensively in the past 25 plus years and has even written a book detailing the stories behind his big hits as well as every track spanning his 40 years career.

Shack – “Comedy”

Released: Jun ‘99

Chart peak: No 44

Keeping the 80s theme going in 1999 were Shack who emerged from the ashes of the criminally ignored band The Pale Fountains. They released some wonderful tracks between 1982 and 1985 such as “Thank You”, “Palm Of My Hand” and “…From Across the Kitchen Table” all of which fell by the chart wayside. Singer Mick Head licked his wounds and formed Shack with his brother John in 1987 releasing two albums before finally finding not just critical acclaim but crucially commercial success as well with third album “H.M.S. Fable”. From personal memory, this was a steady, consistent seller rather than a runaway sensation, a recollection which its peak chart position of No 25 supports. The music press loved it though declaring it the second best album of 1999 in the NME and Uncut magazine.

Two singles were taken from it of which “Comedy” was the first. In an unexpected turn, I find myself potentially using similar words to describe it which I used whilst writing about Nik Kershaw above. Sacrilege? Maybe but also undeniable. The album received plaudits that talked about ‘lyrical craftsmanship’, ‘effortless melody’ and ‘classic pop harmonies’. There were also the inevitable Oasis comparisons but with the caveat that Shack were an upgrade (in today’s parlance) or that they were the band that Oasis always wanted to be. You can understand such reviews when listening to songs such as “Comedy” which, without wanting to repeat myself, was all those things and more. Why oh why wasn’t it a hit?

Shack would release two further albums (the final one ironically on Noel Gallagher’s Sour Mash label) whilst Michael Head now plys his trade as Michael Head & the Red Elastic Band who, in 2022, finally gave him the commercial respect he deserved when the album “Dear Scott” made No 6 in the charts.

Their Season In The Sun

Martine McCutcheon

Seemingly taking the well trodden route of soap star to pop star, Martine actually went from pop star to soap star to pop star. Sort of. She was originally in an all-girl group called Milan as a teenager who released three singles and toured as a support act for East 17 before joining the cast of EastEnders. They never achieved fame and fortune though.

By 1998, McCutcheon had decided that it was time for another go at this pop star lark and so, with her Albert Square character Tiffany killed off in the New Year’s Eve episode, there was nothing to distract her from devoting her full attention to music. Her start couldn’t have gone any better with a No 1 straight off the bat with classy, big ballad “Perfect Moment”. Her album “You, Me & Us” made No 2 and generated two more hit singles. The noughties brought two more albums which sold but not in the same numbers and her recording contract was eventually cancelled. She would return to the charts briefly with a fourth and so far final album in 2017. Since then though, her only musical foray has been as Swan in 2021 on The Masked Singer.

The Offspring

This one probably needs some context adding as I’m sure if you’re a fan of The Offspring, you’ll be coming at me with all sorts of stats and data that belie my perceived suggestion that they had one magnificent year and that was it. That certainly was not the case. For a start these American rockers have been going for over 40 years and have released 11 studio albums. In terms of sales, as of 2015, The Offspring had sold over 40 million albums worldwide.

And yet…in 1999, the UK fully discovered and embraced the band as they released perhaps their most commercial album to date – “Americana” – that furnished them with a No 1 and a No 2 hit single. “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)” came out of nowhere to debut at the top of the UK charts at the start of the year, spending over a month inside the Top 10. To put that into perspective, their biggest hit over here up to that point had been “All I Want” which made No 31 in 1997. They followed it up with the “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” apeing “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” which just missed the top spot. However, when the album’s third single “The Kids Aren’t Alright” failed to make the Top 10, signs that the fever dream was coming to an end appeared. They didn’t disappear from our charts completely but the high flying days of 1999 would never return. However, they still record and play live to this day including the quaintly titled Shit Is Fucked Up tour in 2009.

Shanks & Bigfoot

Not quite the classic one hit wonder (a solitary No 1 and then nothing) but not far off it. Hailing from that hot bed of late 90s dance artists that was Brighton, Steven Meade and Danny Langsman (aka Shanks & Bigfoot) scored a chart topper in “Sweet Like Chocolate” in the Summer of 1999 and for a while they were the bomb. Accolades and awards followed (nominations and one win at the MOBO/ Ivor Novello/ BRITs) and the likes of Britney Spears and Destiny’s Child asking the duo to write for them.

Somehow though, it all fell away, possibly not helped by the year’s delay between “Sweet Like Chocolate” and their debut and only album “Swings And Roundabouts” being released. Momentum lost and all that. When it finally arrived, it failed to dent the Top 75. Their only other chart entry came from No 12 single “Sing-A-Long” in 2000. What are they up to today? The trail is a little cold though “Sweet Like Chocolate” was sampled by Stormzy during his headline set at the 2019 Glastonbury Festival.

Vengaboys

They came (on a bus), they saw (an opportunity) and they conquered (the charts). The success of this…this…project (I refuse to dignify this insult to music by calling them a group) was both baffling and irritating in equal measure. How on earth did the masses fall for their idiotic, nursery rhyme-like ditties (I refuse to call them songs)?! Yes, they had hits before 1999 and after but it was this year that they racked up two consecutive No 1s in “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!” and “We’re Going To Ibiza!”. This was peak Vengaboys and boy did they cause a fit of pique in me.

Come the new millennium, they would replace an original member with a dolphin trainer which is pretty apt as I think I’d rather listen to the chirping squeaks and clicks of a dolphin than a Vengaboys record – in fact, what’s the difference? Unbelievably, a version of the group project still exists and as recently as 2025 opened for Scissor Sisters and Kesha at Madison Square Garden on The Tits Out tour (insert your own joke here…).

Last Words

1999, you were pretty crap I have to say. I’m not sure what I was expecting from these TOTP repeats but what I got was underwhelming, no not underwhelming…poor…no, not that either…shite…yes, that’s the right word…SHITE! You can an ‘utter’ before it too for maximum accuracy.

Personally, it was my final year of working in record retail for Our Price and I lasted just 10 weeks with the company into the new millennium before leaving after having been an employee for nearly 10 years. Not only did I change jobs but also cities, swapping the ever hip Manchester for the not quite as cool York. Sorry York but it’s true. The change from record shop to the civil service proved too big a change and I struggled from day one to come to terms with office life. Somehow I managed seven years before uprooting again to my current home of Hull.

What would have happened if I hadn’t have left when I did? I’d have probably stumbled along for a bit feeling ever less connected to the music I was selling as I settled into my 30s. The writing was on the wall for the traditional record shop though as the digital revolution lurked around the corner yet in plain sight. If I’d have stayed at Our Price, ultimately I would have had to find a new job as the chain folded in 2004. It was a wrench to leave though after all that time and I did feel emotional on the final day. The first thing I ever sold was an Elton John Greatest Hits cassette so my colleagues managed to find an old Elton cassette single that we had in the shop and one of them bought it so Elton on cassette was also my last sale. Bless ‘em.

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 03 DEC 1999

And the 1999 TOTP repeats disappoint yet again. The running order for this show looks uninspiring at best and downright dreadful at worst. Were there no other hits in this week’s chart that executive producer Chris Cowey could have slotted in instead?

*checks the official charts website*

Oh god. Not really. Of the seven acts on this episode, six were new entries between Nos 2 and 11 so Cowey could easily justify them all being featured. The only song going up was the song at No 1 which climbed one place to get there. Three hits were non-movers but they were all past chart toppers so they weren’t going to be on again (nor did I want them to be). There were another five new entries much further down the Top 40 but the only one I recognise is “Mary” by Supergrass which had already been on one of those TOTP on Tour episodes back in August. So, on this occasion, it’s not Cowey’s fault but the poor musical choices and taste of the record buying public. I suppose we’d better get on with it then…

Our host is Gail Porter and we start with the continuing story of the solo careers of the various members of the Spice Girls both past and present. This time it’s the turn of Melanie C who is onto her second solo single (not counting her collaboration with Bryan Adams on “When You’re Gone”) which is also the title track from her album “Northern Star”. Unlike her previous single “Goin’ Down” which saw her restyled as ‘Grunge Spice’, this track was much more pop. A thoughtful ballad that drew comparisons to Madonna’s “Frozen”, it’s actually another Frozen that I could imagine the song featuring in – the film of the same name. With its imagery about Northern and falling stars and lyrics like those below, that could be about Elsa couldn’t it?

“They tried to catch a falling star.
Thinking that she had gone too far.
She did but kept it hidden well.
Until she cracked and then she fell”

Writer(s): Rick Nowels, Melanie Chisholm

OK, it’s not “Let It Go” but then there the way that Mel C sings it as if she was auditioning for a role in a musical theatre show, over annunciating her words and ever so slightly over emoting her delivery. Nothing about either the song or the performance is terrible just on the wrong side of insincere. Melanie C would hit a rich vein of hits after entering the new millennium with two consecutive No 1 singles in 2000 helping her album to go three times platinum in the UK. She would never reach such commercial highs again though she remains a consistent recording artist and live performer.

It’s the highest of those aforementioned new entries now as Boyzone enter the charts at No 3 with “Everyday I Love You”. This was their 16th (!) UK Top 40 hit (including six No 1s) during the period 1994 to 1999 and their final one before the group’s nine year hiatus period that would see the various members pursue solo projects until a reunion tour in 2008. This final single release of the 90s seemed especially cynical. Nominally taken from their Best Of album “By Request”, it actually wasn’t or rather it wasn’t taken from the UK version – it was an extra track on the Asian Special Edition so presumably not available in this country? Was this a pure money grab to get the fanbase to part with even more of their pocket money? If so, they really shouldn’t have bothered as “Everyday I Love You” is a stinker of a song. So pedestrian and laboured, this was the very definition of money for old rope. Do you know, if you wanted a song about loving someone every day, I think this would, unbelievably, be a better choice…

By this point, the group’s profile was all about Ronan Keating and Stephen Gately with the other three literally reduced to the role of backing singers and barely that to be honest. You can kind of forgive them if their hearts weren’t really into performing that role. I don’t think Mikey Graham even gets one camera close up. Poor Mikey has been in the news this last couple of days following the Boyzone farewell concerts at London’s Emirates Stadium over the weekend. Billed as a full reunion of the four surviving members of the band (Stephen Gately died in 2009), Graham only featured in a handful of songs and remained seated for nearly all of them. Much has been made of his appearance with some horrible comments appearing on social media. The truth is that he’s struggled with alcoholism and his mental health which he discussed in the recent Boyzone documentary in which he also revealed he hadn’t spoken to his former band mates for five years. Given all of that, it would have been easier for him and understandable if he’d just declined to appear in the live shows at all so really he should have been praised and supported for the fact that he did instead of being on the receiving end of some vile abuse. Sadly, this is currently the way of the world we live in.

Time and time again in these TOTP repeats, we have encountered the ‘rinse and repeat’ approach to hit making – i.e. once you’ve stumbled on a winning formula, just do the exact same thing again for the follow up. Never mind that it shows a lack of creativity and an attitude of disdain towards the people who bought your first hit. Those mindless sheep will just accept any old rubbish if it’s packaged well enough. That might seem cynical in the extreme from me but what other stance can one take when comparing Alice Deejay’s first hit “Better Off Alone” with her second “Back In My Life”? There really isn’t much difference at all between the two to my non-dance culture ears. Maybe if you were a club DJ at the time you could split some hairs about bpm or something but that would have been dancing on a pinhead behaviour.

Anyway, Alice Deejay were back on the show and this time had lost Dutch producer DJ Jurgen who was credited on “Better Off Alone” (oh, is that the difference?). And yes, were is the correct word used above as Alice Deejay wasn’t just the woman on stage selling the song, they were a collective of Dutch Eurodance producers which raises the question of who was the woman out front? Well, she was Judith Anna Pronk (great name) who, after falling out of love with working within the music industry, pursued a career firstly in hair and make up and subsequently in photography with her website describing her as “A creative mind in the Netherlands”. A creative mind? Pity that the rest of the Alice Deejay people hadn’t shown the same creativity when coming up with a second hit.

There’s no upturn in quality with the next artist. In fact, it’s a definite low point not just in the show but within the whole of 1999. The success of Lolly takes some explaining and I’m not sure that I can. Three Top 10 singles in a six month period suggests she must have been doing something right but she was hopelessly in the wrong with all of them being intensely annoying bubblegum pop hits. The other day I managed to grate my index finger instead of the Red Leicester cheese I was holding – listening to a Lolly record elicited much the same painful reaction.

Her cover of the 1972 Michael Jackson hit “Rockin’ Robin”* was perhaps the worst of the lot. It’s a terrible song anyway but allied to Lolly’s pipsqueak vocals, it was downright diabolical. Who was buying this crap? I can only assume it was the weeny bopper market who probably also bought those records by Cartoons. Thankfully, just like Judith Anna Pronk, Lolly (real name Anna Shantha Kumble) had other career ambitions than being a pop star and would eventually move into the world of TV presenting and acting thus mercifully cutting short her time as a recording artist.

*”Rockin’ Robin” will always remind me of my Dad who was convinced that Michael Jackson was always older than he let on offering “Rockin’ Robin” as his evidence and stating that Jacko must have been at least 30 when it was in the charts. He was, in fact, 13 years old.

Oh God! Not another mindless, generic dance record! Yes, yes it is and it’s courtesy of “Turn Around” hitmakers Phats & Small. Unfortunately, they did have more than that one hit (four in total in fact) of which “Tonite” was the third. I can’t say I remember this one at all but, actually, having listened to it back, it’s not as bad as I would have expected. Despite the hackneyed start where the vocalist sings “Yeah, oo-oo, oo, oh yeah” and the awful descent into the “oo-oo” call and response routine with the studio audience, it’s got a very familiar, retro feel to it and reminds me of something I can’t quite put my finger on. There’s also something very comforting about the performance with all the people up on stage looking like they’re having the best time. Why did they use the American spelling of “Tonite” as the title of the track though? Was it just for conformity with the rhyming of “unite” and “white” in the lyrics?

Despite being for charity, the Children In Need single had never cut through in the same way that the Comic Relief song had. Looking at the list of titles that had been released on behalf of Children In Need, there’s many I don’t recognise at all probably because they didn’t even make the Top 40. 1987’s “Boy Eyed Jog” by Ray Moore anyone? Anyway, that trend changed dramatically in 1997 when the BBC pulled together a host of music names to record Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” for a video to promote the diversity of their music offering and proved so popular with viewers that it was given a full release for Children In Need, going to No 1, selling over a million copies and raising over £2 million for the charity. It remains the biggest selling Children In Need single to date.

1998 saw Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen do their Kylie and Jason impression with a version of “Especially For You” which went to No 3. Come 1999, it was the turn of Martine McCutcheon. On the face of it, she was a good choice. She had been the darling of EastEnders and had become a successful pop star with a No 1 to her name in the form of a classy big ballad. The song chosen for the charity was “Talking In Your Sleep” which I thought I didn’t know but the chorus of which brought childhood memories rushing back. My first thought on seeing the song’s title in the running order was that it was that 1983 single by US band The Romantics that Bucks Fizz covered a year later and took to No 15 but no. It was actually Crystal Gayle’s 1978 hit which had topped the American Country chart. Whilst Martine does her best with it, the production on it is all wrong and sounds clunky and mechanical next to the smoothness of the original.

Not wanting to miss an opportunity to promote McCutcheon’s album “You Me & Us”, for the Christmas period, her record label made it a double A-side with another cover version from said album. This time it was a Bee Gees track called “Love Me” which had been a hit for Yvonne Elliman in 1976. Martine performed the song at the Children in Need telethon on 26 November 1999 where she was supported by a choir of 100 children.

It’s “Talking In Your Sleep” which we get in this TOTP performance though which sees a rather jarring intro from Gail Porter who seems to be about to interview Martine judging by her proximity to her but when she fails to do that, she just ends up looking like she was invading Martine’s personal space or like the strange person on the bus who sits next to you even though there are loads of spare empty double seats. Maybe Gail had wanted to ask her about the very severe fringe Martine was sporting but lost her nerve. By peaking at No 6, “Talking In Your Sleep”/“Love Me” became the 14th highest ever charting Children In Need single.

And so to a fitting ending to this piss poor episode as the new No 1 is “The Millennium Prayer” by Cliff Richard. The song credits eight songwriters as having contributed to its composition including, and this is a bit out there but there’s a logic to it, Jesus Christ himself. It is the only single that credits Jesus as a lyricist. I don’t think anything else I could say will top that fact.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Melanie CNorthern StarNo
2BoyzoneEveryday I Love YouOf course not
3Alice DeejayBack In My LifeNegative
4LollyRockin’ RobinAs if
5Phats & SmallToniteNope
6Martine McCutcheonTalking In Your Sleep / Love MeNah
7Cliff RichardThe Millennium PrayerNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002x8m8/top-of-the-pops-03121999

TOTP 10 SEP 1999

Here we are again for another whizz through the sights and sounds to be found in the charts of Autumn of 1999. We’re still in the TOTP On Tour phase of the programme with this particular show coming from Isis nightclub in Nottingham. Neither exist anymore – Isis nor TOTP – but then we are talking 27 years ago so I’d be more surprised if they did to be honest. Gail Porter is our host for a third week running. In fact, she’s done all of these touring shows so far – I wonder if anyone else got a look in?

*checks the TOTP Archive website*

Yes they do. This was her last time on the road with the programme though she would return to present a further 27 episodes up to 2003. OK, with that admin done, it’s on with the show…

Now, if you’re an actor who has given up the regular gig of being in a soap opera to pursue a pop career and you are faced with the task of following up your debut single which was a No 1 hit, what do you do? Well, if you’re Martine McCutcheon then you change tack completely by ditching that classic, sophisticated ballad sound and release a jaunty, upbeat, acoustic backed pop song that would comfortably reside in daytime radio playlists and hope for the best. Under those terms, “I’ve Got You” is a perfectly serviceable track and by securing Martine a Top 10 hit, it did what it was meant to in terms of consolidation. Or did it? After going straight to the top at her first attempt with “Perfect Moment”, was a solitary week at No 6 substantial enough a success? I’m not sure. Ultimately, I don’t think “I’ve Got You” was…well…substantial enough. Certainly the lyrics were lightweight, going on about having the moon, the stars and the sun and flowers not blooming. I guess if she’d done another big ballad she’d have been accused of being a one trick pony so maybe she couldn’t win?

Not only did Martine change her sound but also her look. Just as the sophisticated sonics of her debut hit were dropped, so was her sleek image that she adopted to promote it. “I’ve Got You” required something different and so her dark, lacquered hair was replaced by blonde, flyaway locks that Gail Porter describes as “loverly” thereby foreshadowing Martine’s role as Eliza Doolittle in the 2001 West End revival of My Fair Lady.

Gail goes on to say that mambo fever is still sweeping the nation in the intro to the next act and she’s not wrong as the No 3 and No 1 records this week are both of that persuasion. “(Mucho Mambo) Sway” by Shaft was the record in bronze medal position and like Fatboy Slim and Phats & Small before them, this duo were also from Brighton. What was it with electronic dance music acts in the 90s that so many of them had connections to that seaside resort? It was a relationship that would only be rivalled by my beloved Chelsea FC who, under their current useless owners, became unhealthy obsessed with Brighton and Hove Albion’s modus operandi. Erm…anyway…football rant over. Shaft would shamelessly try to repeat this mambo nonsense in early 2000 by releasing their version of “Mambo Italiano” but the world had moved on and it only made it to No 12. They then turned their attention to the “Wassuup!” Budweiser advertising campaign by setting the overused phrase to a sample of MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This”. What a pair of absolute grifters!

Of course, it wasn’t just the specific sub genre called mambo that was casting a huge influence over the UK charts in 1999 – the whole parent, umbrella term of Latin music was making itself known not just here but on a global stage. We’d already seen massive hits for artists like Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez crossover into the mainstream and now, here was our first glimpse of the latest Latin superstar and this one had a family pedigree to back up his claims. Enrique Iglesias is, of course, the son of legendary crooner Julio Iglesias and had already recorded three Spanish language albums before “Bailamos”  – his contribution to the soundtrack of the Will Smith movie Wild Wild West – brought him to our attention. I have to admit to not remembering how this one went – in fact, I think the only one of his that I know is “Hero” – but on watching this TOTP performance, I probably could have given it a good guess as to how it sounded. All the ingredients are there – the mixture of Spanish and English lyrics, that overused dance backbeat, lots of ‘whoah-oahing’, some whispered vocals from Enrique, and, most obviously, the obligatory Spanish guitar flourishes especially in the middle eight. In the then clamour for Latin flavoured tunes, it was a heady mix and was always going to deliver a breakthrough hit. Enrique’s looks weren’t exactly going to hold him back either.

“Bailamos” would secure a deal with a multi national record company and the chance to record whole albums in English and a career in the global mainstream inevitably followed. In a parallel world, it would be his elder brother Julio Iglesias Jr. (eh? His elder brother is called ‘Jr’?) who would have that career but his own musical offerings that were released before “Bailamos” did very little commercially and he was left with the fate of living not just in his father’s shadow but his younger brother’s as well. He should have recorded a song about a dance. His Dad’s biggest hit – “Begin The Beguine” – translates as “Start The Dance” whilst his brother’s breakthrough song means “We Dance” in English. A Latin pop version of Ultravox’s “We Came To Dance” was probably too much to hope for!

Oh dear. We have arrived at another horrible low point. I am very challenged by Shania Twain’s success in the respect that I just didn’t/don’t get it. Sure, she’s good looking and can no doubt sing but the hits that she’s most known for, I just couldn’t…well…I just couldn’t. Let’s leave it at that. Actually, no I won’t because “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” deserves a proper slaughtering. From its dumb title to its honking, parping synth hook, everything about this song winds me up. It’s just so lowest common denominator. In short, it’s stinky as my teenage son would have it. That’s not a view that was shared at the time though. Look at this review in Rolling Stone magazine:

“ “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” and other high-gloss songs “open with a bubblegum glam cheerleader shout, then blasts into radio-ready rapture with offhand vocal interjections – doot-doot-doot scatting, do-si-do rapping, sexy squeaks, sarcastic Alanis Morissette asides.”

Eddy, Chuck (December 9, 1997)

That all sounds hideous! Who wants to”doot -doot-doot scatting” and “do-si-do rapping” in their songs?! And yes, I know the lyrics are all about female empowerment and that’s not to be discouraged and that its success could be down to its appeal to women record buyers…but I still don’t understand why its sound sucked so many people in. I was clearly in the minority though as it went to No 3 in the UK charts, matching the peak of its equally dreadful predecessor “That Don’t Impress Me Much” and would, as Gail Porter informs us, help propel parent album “Come On Over” to No 1 after being out for 18 months. It would spend 11 weeks accumulatively at the top of the charts becoming the UK’s best selling album of 1999. Bah!

There’s no upturn in quality following Shania as we get the latest boyband teen sensation A1 (awful, awful name) with their second single “Summertime Of Our Lives”. Predictably, this tune was so lightweight, if it had been a bloke on a pub crawl, it would have had its head down the toilet after a half of lager. I’ve read some reviews of it online suggesting its frivolity and throwaway nature should be embraced as, after all, it was the Summer and released to soundtrack the most relaxed of all the seasons. Except it wasn’t the Summer was it? September is surely the start of Autumn so A1 and/or their record label got their release schedule timings all wrong. In a way, that perfectly complimented its awfulness as did its lyrics. Look at these:

“Baby get ready get down
Are you up for it get down with it”

Songwriters: Adams / Cunnah / Ingebrigtsen / Marazzi / Read

Summertime of Our Lives lyrics © Reservoir Media Management, Inc, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

They just stole that from Five’s “Everybody Get Up” and put the words in a slightly different order. I use the word ‘they’ correctly here as the four lads all have their names up there in the writing credits alongside Peter Cunnah who was clearly looking for something to do after the demise of D:Ream. The single’s debut at No 5 and subsequent rapid tumble down the charts indicated that they had, indeed, developed a big enough devoted fan base to create an initial demand for whatever they released but that they were nowhere near crossing over into the mainstream of record buyers. Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter, A1 were crap all year round.

Just before we get to the next act, a quick word about the BBC Music Live 2000 event that Gail Porter trailed and for which there were details scrolling across our screens. Said details included a website address – were we all internet savvy in September 1999 in terms of having access to it at home? I think we may have had some sort of dial up connection but I certainly don’t recall being able to get on the worldwide web easily back then.

There was a third hit from The Offspring’s “Americana” album?! Yes there was and it was called “The Kids Aren’t Alright” but it wasn’t as big a seller as it’s two preceding singles “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” or “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” so maybe that’s why I don’t remember it. Clearly there’s a reference to The Who’s classic song in its title but it was actually a more unlikely track that caused plagiarism claims to be made which are undeniable once you’ve heard it. “Electricity” by OMD might not seem like an obvious influence for an American pop-punk band but its melody is unmistakably there in “The Kids Aren’t Alright”. Apparently there’s a version of “Electricity “ by LA punk rockers NOFX which adds substance to the accusation. Let’s have a listen…

Yep, that seals it for me. Does that mean “The Kids Aren’t Alright” isn’t any good then? No, of course not. In fact, it was seen as a return to form by their fanbase who had been with the band before those two aforementioned chart busting hits came along and you can understand why. It just has a much rawer edge to it. As with Shania Twain earlier, the lyrics had a deeper message than might have been expected from a song with such a contrived title being about the fates of the people who lead singer Dexter Holland had grown up around in his home town of Garden Grove, California including unwanted pregnancy, drug addiction, unemployment and suicide.

Just a word about the studio audience for this one which seems to include some very committed moshers and a least one crowd surfer. This wasn’t standard for a TOTP crowd was it? Were they specially invited members of The Offspring fan club or had they been given specific instructions by the floor managers to behave like that?

Oh. My. God. Is this really what passed for music in the Autumn of 1999? I speak of “The Launch” by DJ Jean which thankfully I seem to have blanked from my memory banks. This ‘track’ was huge in Ibiza apparently (Gail Porter says so anyway) where its trance-infused house beats (I’ve clearly pinched that from something online as I have no idea what I’m talking about) hit big time, hooked around a NASA themed rocket launch countdown. It’s utter garbage. Clearly the staging of this nonsense was going to require some thought as the three dancers on stage couldn’t carry it by themselves and to be fair to the TOTP producers, they do try something different with swirling camera angles and tacked on filters but it doesn’t overly impress. I’m struck by two thoughts:

  1. Why didn’t the dancers have space themed costumes on? DJ Jean seems to have some sort of astronaut outfit on.
  2. Shouldn’t there have been a voice saying “We have lift off!” after the countdown and “Ignition” parts?

“The Launch” topped the Dutch charts (DJ Jean was from Holland) but fell one place short of that peak in the UK. According to his Wikipedia biography, Jean used to DJ in a club called iT in Amsterdam in the early 90s but as with the Isis club in Nottingham, it doesn’t exist anymore after burning down. There’s got to be a line in there somewhere about burning down the house surely?

Before we get to the No 1, a quick word about the acts that are actually on the show in person in these tour locations as I’m not convinced the quality of them makes admission to these shows the hot ticket that the BBC would have had us believe. If you were in Nottingham this particular week, you would have witnessed Martine McCutcheon, Shaft, A1 and DJ Jean. (Enrique Iglesias, Shania Twain, and The Offspring were presumably recorded in a different studio somewhere or at Elstree weeks prior before the studio renovations started). The previous week in Brighton, it was Shaft (again), Moloko, A-Teens, Ocean Colour Scene and Stereophonics. I’d say maybe two of those eight acts would have piqued my interest at the time.

So, Lou Bega is still at No 1 with “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…)”. Again, he’s not in Nottingham but it’s not the video either so it must have been recorded in a BBC studio…somewhere.

In 2000, Bega recorded a version of the track for Disney which was much more sanitised and replaced the girls names in the lyrics with those of Disney characters. The line “A little bit of Donald is all I need” has perhaps more resonance in the present day than could ever have been imagined back then…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Martine McCutcheonI’ve Got YouNope
2Shaft(Mucho Mambo) SwayOf course not
3Enrique IglesiasBailamosNah
4Shania TwainMan! I Feel Like A WomanNEVER!
5A1Summertime Of Our LivesGod no!
6The OffspringThe Kids Aren’t AlrightI did not
7DJ JeanThe LaunchJust awful – no
8Lou BegaMambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002v4qm/top-of-the-pops-10091999

TOTP 07 MAY 1999

It’s early May 1999 here at TOTP Rewind and that can only mean one thing – the culmination of the football season! Despite only losing three games all season, my beloved Chelsea have blown the league by drawing too many matches and would finish third to a Man United team on their way to an historic treble. However, it was in League Division Three where all the drama was the day after this TOTP aired. Specifically, at Brunton Park, Carlisle where a near legendary game would play out. Carlisle United were fighting a dire relegation battle which, if lost, would condemn them to demotion to non-league football. It would be either them or Scarborough who would fall through the trap door. Carlisle needed a win but with time running out, the score in their game was locked at 1-1. Scarborough’s match had finished and they were safe as things stood but a Carlisle goal would reverse that situation and relegate Scarborough. With just 10 seconds left on the clock, the home team won a corner and Carlisle’s goalkeeper, one Jimmy Glass, was given the signal from his manager to go up the pitch to join in one last attack. Glass was only playing after being loaned from Swindon Town after a Carlisle goalkeeping emergency and this would be the last of three games he ever played for them. As the corner came in, this happened…

…pure, chaotic drama with a fairytale ending (for Carlisle at least). It’s the stuff of legend. However, for Glass, this wouldn’t be the fillip to his career that some might have assumed. There was no big money move to an elite club following his heroics; in fact, Carlisle United didn’t even sign him permanently and he only played a handful of professional games for a couple of clubs before drifting into non-league football and ultimately retiring from the game aged just 27. I wonder if any Glass related parallels can be drawn with the acts on this episode of TOTP?

Our host is Kate Thornton, and just as Jimmy Glass’s time at Carlisle United was coming to an end, this would be her final TOTP appearance. She only got to present ten shows which is a shame I think as she seemed a fairly safe pair of hands. Her first duty on her valedictory programme is to introduce Phats & Small on their fourth appearance on the show with “Turn Around”. There really can’t be anything else to say about this one can there? Well, it was back on TOTP as it had risen from No 8 to No 7 having already peaked at No 2. Yeah, that’s not exactly riveting reading material is it? I did notice that Phats & Small (the blokes on the decks as opposed to the singer) were wearing Skint Records T-shirts despite not being on that label – they were on Multiply, the people who brought us Sash! Skint was the home of Fatboy Slim and was based in Brighton which is where Phats & Small were from hence the connection I’m guessing? Russell Small is a big Brighton fan and they were in the same division as Carlisle United in 1998/99 finishing 17th out of 24, with only seven more points than bottom club Scarborough.

Jimmy Glass moment: You can’t get a bigger ‘turnaround’ moment than a last ditch winner to save your team from relegation can you?

It’s four consecutive appearances for Martine McCutcheon on the show but two of them were while “Perfect Moment” was at No 1 so I can’t argue with that. She was still in the Top 5 by the time of this final outing. Even so, it seems a little bit like overkill to me but then I wasn’t writing a TOTP blog back in 1999 and not watching two shows back to back as per the BBC4 schedule of repeats in 2026 so maybe I wouldn’t have noticed back then. As with Phats & Small, I’m struggling to find anything else to say about this one. Let me trawl the internet for a minute…

*blogger trawls internet*

Oh this is brilliant! No, really. Martine once went on a date with Mick Hucknall. She was very nervous, was drinking continually, hadn’t eaten anything and when she got in a car with him and the engine turned over she spewed all over him! Just fabulous work!

Jimmy Glass moment: Is there a more ‘perfect moment’ in football than Jimmy’s last minute winner?

If any of us thought that The Offspring’s chart topper “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” was destined to be a one-off, well we were right and wrong. The US pop-punk rockers never did have another UK No 1 but they came within a whisker of bagging another when follow up “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” debuted at No 2 meaning that they certainly weren’t one-hit wonders. However, avoiding that status didn’t come without criticism. Nobody with even a perfunctory knowledge of The Beatles could listen to “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” and not immediately think “Hang on, that’s “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”!”. And it was although the lyrics were very different to the Fab Four’s original, detailing two miserable sounding relationships from the point of view of both a man and a woman complaining about the laziness of their partners and their lack of any discernible income. The opening two lines include the word “bitch” which the BBC censors decided to muffle for this TOTP appearance. I don’t think they did that when Meredith Brooks was on the show but then I think the gender of the singer was pivotal there. Given the song that it was based on, “Why Don’t You Get A Job?” was always going to be a catchy tune which certainly didn’t harm its chart chances though Bryan ‘Dexter’ Holland’s strained live vocals in this performance might have adversely affected them. He really couldn’t hit those higher notes. It’s a very scratchy affair altogether.

Of course, Scottish band Marmalade beat The Offspring to it by over 30 years with an actual cover of “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”!” which went to No 1 in the UK though this little known pop song from the 80s always makes me think that Owen Paul had been listening to The Beatles’ original when he recorded it.

Jimmy Glass moment: When Jimmy’s football career ended, he needed to go and get a conventional job and worked as both an IT salesman and a taxi driver.

With another airing for “No Scrubs” by TLC, it means that three of the first four hits on this show were clocking up their fourth TOTP appearance. Come on Cowey! Sort it out! And no, I don’t care that TLC were up to No 3, their highest position in six weeks. However, the chart trajectory of this single is interesting. A debut at No 7 followed by an immediate drop out of the Top 10 to No 13. An expected descent down the Top 40 failed to materialise as “No Scrubs” lurched back into the Top 10 where it would remain for seven weeks. Even within that time period it moved up and down before finally reaching its peak of No 3 having fallen as low as No 9 the week before. How to explain this? It may be something to do with the delayed release of the its accompanying video. An MTV Award winning, sci-fi themed promo featuring the group in different coloured space suits, was its eventual delivery to video channels linked to its rise up the charts? If so, TOTP clearly didn’t get the memo/video as they stuck to showing that same satellite performance for every one of its four appearances on the show. Am I overstating the importance of this video? Maybe but there is some context to this situation, specifically that the group weren’t allowed into Europe for promotional duties possibly due to Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez’s criminal record following an incident in 1994 when she set fire to her boyfriend’s trainers which led to their mansion burning down.

One more thing, the intro to this one from Kate Thornton is a bit inappropriate. “Now going up the charts, those bad girls from Atlanta. No scrubs, no scrubbers – it’s TLC!”. No scrubbers Kate? And I thought she was a safe pair of hands!

Jimmy Glass moment: “No Scrubs” is from an album called “Fanmail” and I’m sure that Jimmy Glass got some fan mail after his last minute heroics in 1999.

Well, this is a damn shame. Of the three singles released from the sophomore album “100% Colombian” by Fun Lovin’ Criminals, the one which I bought – “Big Night Out” – is the only one that failed to warrant a TOTP appearance. Boo! Not that the two that did make it were worthless – they weren’t – but..you know. Anyway, the third of those releases was “Korean Bodega” which does sound pretty cool compared to most of its chart contemporaries but also very familiar. It’s something about that guitar riff that runs through it. I can’t place which song it reminds me of but it’s certainly recognisable.

Despite it happening in 2021, I’m not sure that I was aware that Huey Morgan had left the band. They are still an ongoing entity but it’s kind of hard to imagine them without their charismatic frontman. The band have released one album since Huey’s departure but continue to perform live.

Jimmy Glass moment: There is a track on the “100% Colombian” album called “All My Time Is Gone” which was so nearly true for Carlisle United that day in 1999 until Jimmy Glass strode forward into the box with ten seconds to go…

It’s the return of Cast next whom we had not seen in the Top 40 for 18 months. Indeed, it had been two years since their last album “Mother Nature Calls” which, though a commercial success, had divided critics. Third album “Magic Hour” therefore had a lot riding on it. The lead single from it was “Beat Mama”, a relentlessly upbeat track with a looped guitar riff and sparse, almost non-specific lyrics. Maybe the latter didn’t matter though as it was all about the feel. I liked it I have to say.

However, when I think about “Beat Mama”, its sound isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Let me explain. The week that it came out, the shop stereo in the Our Price store I was working in suddenly stopped working one morning. That’s pretty much a disaster for a record shop. As a last resort, we brought down to the shop floor the only thing we had that could play music – a tiny, portable CD player/radio that was in the stock room that staff working in there could listen to. It sounded tinny and pathetic as we opened the doors to the public. The first CD that we put on to play through it? “Beat Mama”. We couldn’t spend the whole day with this as the output for our in-store music so I decided to try and fix the shop stereo’s misfiring speakers. Quite why I thought I had the knowledge to do this I don’t know. Somehow I did get them working again though – it must have been something simple like a loose connection. However, at one point I had the speakers wired up so that two different songs were playing out of them at the same time. How did I manage that? To this day I’m wary of doing anything technical in our house beyond changing a light bulb on account of this.

Jimmy Glass moment: Cast hail from Liverpool. In May 2021, Liverpool FC’s goalkeeper Alisson scored a 95th minute winning goal versus WBA with a header prompting immediate comparisons with Jimmy Glass.

Despite this being its second time on the show, you still couldn’t actually buy “Look At Me” by Geri Halliwell in the shops as it wasn’t released until the Monday after this TOTP aired. The promotion on this one was huge but then it was always going to be. The first official solo single by an (ex-) Spice Girl was big news. After being served up the official promo video on its last outing, we get an exclusive performance of the song this time, again introduced by Geri herself. It’s all very over the top with Halliwell backed by four male dancers on a set that includes an elaborate staircase and chaise longue as props. It all seems a bit forced to me, trying a bit too hard to make it look like Geri was this kooky, zany character that we hadn’t really been aware of before. In the end, all that promotion couldn’t quite deliver the expected and presumably desperately wanted No 1 with “Look At Me” debuting in second place.

*Mel B’s “I Want You Back” had featured Missy Elliott whilst Melanie C had duetted with Bryan Adams on “When You’re Gone” before “Look At Me”.

Jimmy Glass moment: After his legendary winning goal, the whole world was looking at Jimmy.

Westlife remains at No 1 with “Swear It Again” and if that wasn’t annoying enough, for this performance, they’ve ditched the stools I said they always sat on therefore making me look like a lier! Apart from one of them, they’re all dressed in white which was another affectation of theirs but no doubt the next time they’re on, they’ll be dressed as goths just to spite me again! I swear it!

Jimmy Glass moment: Westlife had a No 1 with a cover of ABBA’s “I Have A Dream” and there was no more dream like moment in football than Jimmy Glass’s last second winner.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Phats & SmallTurn AroundI did not
2Martine McCutcheonPerfect MomentNo
3The OffspringWhy Don’t You Get A Job?Nah
4TLCNo ScrubsNope
5Fun Lovin’ CriminalsKorean BodegaNot this one but the one before it
6CastBeat MamaGood song but no
7Geri HalliwellLook At MeNo thanks
8WestlifeSwear It AgainNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 30 APR 1999

The day after this TOTP aired, Andrew Motion was announced as the next Poet Laureate in succession to previous incumbent Ted Hughes. His term would last ten years until he handed the baton to Carol Ann Duffy whilst the current Poet Laureate is Simon Armitage. You know what’s coming now…I wonder if the artists on tonight’s show have any connection with that role or poetry in general?

Our host is Jamie Theakston and we begin with last week’s No 1 (of course we do) which has been deposed and is currently No 3 in the charts. There was clearly a lot of belief, willingness and capacity from the management people behind Martine McCutcheon when it came to ensuring her transition from soap darling to pop star. From signing a significant record deal with Virgin, being given the song “Perfect Moment” as her debut single (a song A&R person Cheryl Robson had been sat on for three years) to having an hour-long television documentary about her journey from EastEnders actress to a singer, all the stops were being pulled out to make sure the project was a success. And a success it was. A No 2, platinum selling album, the 14th best selling single of the year and a pair of No 6 hits to follow.

It couldn’t sustain though. Two more albums quickly followed but failed to match the achievements of its predecessor. It seemed that appetite for Marine as a chart frequenter had been satiated. Why? For me, the cause of her commercial decline was that the initial burst of sales came off the back of her association with her EastEnders persona Tiffany. It’s as if people were in some sort of mourning for the death of that character and needed something to buy as a souvenir or keepsake. Then, the strength of her debut hit spilled over into sales for her album and before you knew it, momentum was created and away she went. However, the larger the distance of time that separated Martine from Tiffany, the less the connection between her and the public. That momentum waned until she was just another pop singer. Maybe she should have reactivated her pop career after her star turn in Love Actually when the public fell in love with another of her character portrayals. That didn’t happen and the last album she released came in 2017 which made a respectable No 17 in the charts but there has been nothing from her since…apart from this of course….

Poet Laureate link: “Perfect Moment” was written by Wendy Page and one J. Marr. In his podcast The Poet Laureate Has Gone To His Shed, Simon Armitage spoke to Johnny Marr about his life as a musician. OK, the J. Marr that co-wrote “Perfect Moment” wasn’t the ex-Smiths guitarist but give me a break!

Just like Suede on last week’s show, Texas were also making a bit of a comeback after being away for a couple of years and also like Brett and the boys, they had to make a decision about which musical direction should be part of their return route. Unlike Suede, it seemed to me that they decided to basically just replicate their previous album which had brought them into the mainstream and delivered all that commercial success associated with such a transition. I’m sure the band themselves would be able to point to all sorts of details that spelt out the differential nuances between “White On Blonde” and “The Hush” but to your average pop music consumer, it surely felt like more of the same. Certainly, lead single “In Our Lifetime” retained that radio friendly polish that we’d come to expect from the second coming of the band. What was different though was the fact that this was the first time that the band had not employed an external producer for an album, preferring instead to keep it in house with guitarist Johnny McElhone twiddling the knobs on the mixing desk.

The chart performance of “In Our Lifetime” suggested that the record buying public were more than happy with a healthy helping of what they’d been served up before as its peak of No 4 maintained the band’s run of Top 10 singles by becoming their sixth on the trot. And why not? It’s a perfectly decent rock/pop tune with its strident yet melodic looped guitar hook and ‘wickedy-wick’ sound effect that introduces the chorus plus, of course, Sharleen Spiteri’s smooth vocals. For the moment, Texas were still in the ascendancy and doing nothing wrong at all.

Poet Laureate link: The state of Texas has its own Poet Laureate designation scheme, appointing a new incumbent every one to two years to promote poetry and recognize the literary contributions of Texans.

Fancy a bit of Busta Rhymes? No, me neither but executive producer Chris Cowey did and to be fair, the rapper was at No 5 with his single “What’s It Gonna Be?!” so…At the risk of sounding like my Dad commenting on my musical preferences as a teenager, this was just noise and a horrible one at that. “The mightiest and fastest rapper” ever to appear on the show is how Jamie Theakston describes Rhymes. Well, he perhaps he was but that doesn’t mean he could make a record that was listenable and he didn’t with this track. Even the presence of Janet Jackson couldn’t save it though I’m not sure I could even hear her contribution over all that shouting which seems to be about making his baby’s body wet. Eeuuww! Cowey could at least have shown the video in full (rather than on a big screen in the background) seeing as it was one of the most expensive ever produced at a cost of $2 million. The sound mix was much better on the promo as well with Busta’s rantings toned down more than in this studio performance. Not for me thank you.

Poet Laureate link: Poetry? Busta Rhymes? Yeah, that’s all I’ve got for this one.

Some blatant and shameless self promotion next as the Beeb uses its historic, flagship music show to advertise another of its programmes. If Miami 7 doesn’t ring any bells then the collective noun for its stars certainly will. S Club 7 were put together by pop impresario Simon Fuller when he was left at a loose end after the Spice Girls gave him the boot as their manager and his first action was to put together another pop group but this time he’d recruit more compliant people who he perceived wouldn’t tell him where to get off as his previous charges had.

Despite the fact that the Spice Girls project had turned into a global marketing operation encompassing different media and more merchandising than anyone could possibly want or house, Fuller reckoned there were yet more promotional opportunities to be explored. He envisioned a brand that was cross-media marketable, that could conquer both the music charts and TV ratings. Teaming up with his brother Kim (who wrote the Spice World movie story), they devised the TV show Miami 7 which the BBC picked up and broadcast on their CBBC channel. It was only a month into its run at the point of this TOTP broadcast and so, with show still on our screens, the Beeb indulged in some cross channel promotion and we got to meet the show’s stars in the TOTP backstage area. Although the first S Club 7 single – “Bring It All Back” which also acted as the Miami 7 theme tune – was still a whole five weeks away from release, that didn’t stop us from being given a preview of the video for it which, quelle surprise, also included some clips from the show.

Of course, this whole pop group/TV show wasn’t an original Fuller idea. The Monkees project from the 60s famously got there first but even in the 90s it had been tried with the show No Sweat following the adventures of boy band North & South who would have four Top 40 hits between ‘97 and ‘98. That didn’t stop Miami 7 being a hit though and it would run for four seasons albeit under a different title for each series. Its success is widely acknowledged as being the motivation for bringing the world shows like High School Musical and Glee.

As for “Bring It All Back”, it would top the charts when finally released. An insanely catchy slice of bubblegum pop which inevitably and obviously generated comparisons with The Jackson 5, it also contained one of the greatest key changes in all of pop music history. As we’ll be seeing it another three times in these TOTP repeats I’ll leave it there for now but suffice to say that the S Club story would run for years involving success, heartbreak, solo careers, controversy, a juniors version spin off, splits, reunions and ultimately tragedy. Someone really should make a TV show or movie about it.

Poet Laureate link: Not really though there was a literary club known as AuthorsClub whose membership included three Poets Laureate – Alfred Austin, John Masefield, and John Betjeman.

From a request to ‘Bring It All Back’ to a plea to “Bring My Family Back” courtesy of Faithless. They did make some dark records didn’t they and this one is no different with Maxi Jazz recounting the tale of a man who grew up in a broken family, whose wife left him with the kids after his infidelity with a work colleague and who slips through the cracks and end up living in a derelict slum and regretting his life decisions. At least, I think that’s what it’s about. Although I wouldn’t describe myself as a fan, I did quite like this. It’s kind of got an hypnotic quality to it which means you can’t help listening despite the grimness and misery of the lyrics. Someone who is a fan is a friend of mine who will become an octogenarian this month proving yet again that age can be just a number when it comes to musical taste.

Poet Laureate link: A genuine connection! Caleb Femi, who was named London’s first Young Poet Laureate (2016–2017), features on the 2020 Faithless album “All Blessed”. He delivers a rap/spoken-word performance on the track “I Need Someone”. The band’s Sister Bliss commented on the collaboration that for the album, they wanted to work with “thoughtful fresh talent” like Femi to honor the high lyrical bar set by their late frontman, Maxi Jazz. 

Right what was going on here then? Watching this back without any prior knowledge/information, it looked like an attempt by TOTP executive producer Chris Cowey to really shake the format up which it was I guess but he couldn’t really lay claim to a totally original idea here. So, the dance music continued with the next two hits also coming firmly from that genre but there was a deliberate decision to tie the two together as Jamie Theakston gives them a combined intro – “This is Armand Van Helden versus Fatboy Slim”. We then get a studio performance by the former (featuring guest vocalist Roland Clark up front) and the video for the latter’s latest hit but the two are interspersed with clips of both of them entering a boxing ring. What gives?

Well, I didn’t have a clue so I looked it up and it turns out that Armand van Helden and Fatboy Slim were connected by their 1999 “A Date With Destiny” DJ battles. These high-profile, head-to-head gigs featured them competing in a boxing ring at venues like Brixton Academy. Ah, so that’s where that boxing imagery footage comes from! Basically Cowey just got permission to use it rather than it being anything that he set up himself. The boxing match theme is backed up by the fact that Van Helden’s last hit “You Don’t Know” knocked Fatboy Slim’s “Praise You” off the top spot. There was a rematch when their follow ups (“Flowerz” for Van Helden and “Right Here, Right Now” by Fatboy Slim) were released in the same week. This time it was a knockout victory for the Fatboy with his single landing at No 2 whilst “Flowerz” couldn’t punch its weight and was left floundering at No 18. That’s a pretty decisive result despite Theakston saying in his segue that “Fortunately, there were no judges to pick a winner in this particular heavyweight contest so judge for yourselves”. Well, I think the record buying public were the judges Jamie and they made it very clear who their winner was. To be fair, it was a mismatch as “Flowerz” didn’t pack the same punch as its predecessor and never really gets itself off the canvas and into any sort of rhythm. There was no long lasting grudge held though as the duo reunited for performances at The Warehouse Project in Manchester and Drumsheds in London in November 2024.

Poet Laureate link: Ian Henery, the first ever Poet Laureate for Walsall, hosts a radio show on Black Country Xtra and has specifically named Armand Van Helden as a personal favourite from the golden era of house music.

OK, so. This is actually interesting as we just about see a DJ style fade from the Armand Van Helden tune into the video to “Right Here, Right Now” by Fatboy Slim. Fair play to Chris Cowey whom I’ve given a lot of stick to in this blog but the presentation on these two hits has been clever and effective. This was the fourth single lifted from the album “You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby” and it was yet another banger – Norman Cook really was in the groove here. It’s got the usual samples in it from sources I haven’t a clue about but it also has a sense of foreboding, imbuing the listener with the feeling that they’re about to hear something monumental. Then the Big Beats kick in and you’re off on an aural journey signposted by the creativity of Cook’s imagination.

The video hooks into that idea of a journey by depicting the course of human evolution from a single celled amoeba via a jellyfish, an amphibian, a primate an homo erectus before finally becoming a human. It was supposedly inspired by the 70s French animated educational television series Once Upon A Time…Man which I remember from reruns in the 80s, typically shown mid morning during the Summer holidays. It was a clever way of engaging kids in history and tracked the development of humans from the creation of the Earth through to a prediction up to the year 2150. I liked it as I recall though I’m not sure that I caught all 26 episodes.

Anyway, not long before the end of the “Right Here, Right Now” video, Cook himself pops up in a burger van with a message apologising for not being on the show in person before we return to the promo. I get that Cowey wouldn’t have turned down the chance of using such a piece of VT but it does come across as incongruous and doesn’t really add anything which is a shame. The final transformation sees the now fully developed human being turn into the kid on the cover of the “You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby” album but it must be a lookalike or CGI as Cook was never able to track that person down to pay him some royalties for the use of his image.

Poet Laureate link: As a member of The Housemartins, Cook had a connection to the city of Hull (where I have lived for the past 22 years). The poet Philip Larkin was the Librarian at the University of Hull and he was offered the position of Poet Laureate in 1984 which he declined.

Some things in life are just inexplicable. The Bermuda Triangle, the Great Pyramids of Giza, the England football team’s inability to win a trophy since 1966…and the appeal and success of Westlife. Yes, we’ve arrived at that point I’m afraid. The point where somehow the UK decided that far from having had enough of boy bands littering the charts throughout the 90s, that despite the sea change to the popularity of girl groups in the second half of the decade, and never minding that we’d already had years of one Irish boy band dominating everything…we needed another one! Why for chrissakes? WHY?! I just didn’t get it with this lot. They were so dull and, it seemed to me, inherently a one trick pony. How could anyone distinguish between one overwrought, schmaltzy ballad from another?! They all sounded the same! And not just that, they were all performed the same with those grinning berks sat in a line on stools, sometimes getting up if they had a solo. And yet, they were successful. Incredibly so, breaking chart records at will whilst racking up No 1 after No 1. They had four just in 1999 despite the first one “Swear It Again” – coming with four months of the year gone already. They weren’t even that good looking were they? Given the amount of times they will no doubt appear in these TOTP repeats, I’m leaving it here. For now.

Poet Laureate link: W.B. Yeats who was a Nobel Laureate (an Irish equivalent of a poet laureate) and Westlife share a connection with Sligo with the former famously associated with the town and its landscapes and the latter having grown up there (well, three of them anyway). Because of this shared hometown, Sligo’s tourism and cultural boards often promote the “poetry of Yeats and the music of Westlife”!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Martine McCutcheonPerfect MomentNo
2TexasIn Our LifetimeNope
3Busta Rhymes / Janet JacksonWhat’s It Gonna Be?!Never
4S Club 7Bring It All BackNot likely
5FaithlessBring My Family BackI did not
6Armand van HeldenFlowerzNah
7Fatboy SlimRight Here, Right NowNo but I had the album
8WestlifeSwear It AgainNo – I swear!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 23 APR 1999

Of the eight songs in this TOTP, four of them have been on the show before, some of them many times previously. The running order has the four ‘new’ hits sandwiched together in the middle, bookended by two repeated performances at either end of it. Was this some sort of shit sandwich in reverse technique being employed by executive producer Chris Cowey? Let’s see…

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that if a song had been on the show before it was necessarily shit in terms of its quality but rather that Cowey was shitting all over our expectations of being fed some new hits rather than those we were very familiar with.

Our host is Gail Porter and we start with…and this is truly ridiculous…Whitney Houston with “It’s Not Right But It’s OK”. Just..why Cowey? WHY?! Look, these are the facts about this one:

  • TOTP appearances: Five
  • No of repeats of original studio performance: Four
  • Date of first appearance: 26 Feb 1999
  • Weeks in Top 40: Twelve
  • In every week but one after debuting at No 3, it moved down the charts.

Why was it on the show so often? Was it part of the contract between Whitney and her people and the BBC that if she did an in person performance that TOTP had to show it a certain amount of times like five maybe?

Right, let’s have a look at Phats & Small and their hit “Turn Around”. Here are their facts:

  • Total TOTP appearances: Four (this was the third)
  • No of consecutive appearances: Three (four over a five week period)
  • Weeks in Top 10: Seven
  • Chart run: 3 – 4 – 2 – 8 – 7 – 8 – 7

So three of those four appearances coincided with the single going back up the chart which seems justified but four times in five shows still seems like overkill to me. Maybe though I was/am just a dinosaur, a relic of a past time having been brought up on the Top 40 of the 80s which was much more sluggish and intransient, when songs would take weeks to move up the charts and instant, week one Top 3 hits were rare to non-existent. Record company practices had changed by the end of the 90s and maybe TOTP was just reacting accordingly to a new way of the charts operating. I’m not sure how regular a viewer of the show I was by 1999 so cannot recall being as frustrated as I am now with all these repeat performances but I wasn’t doing a write up of each show back then either. Oh it’s all relative isn’t it?

From two artists with prolific TOTP appearance stats to one whom I would have thought had a much better record but then, I could have sworn that Electronic had actually released more music than their discography tells me they have. From their debut in 1989, they released a total of eight singles and three albums. Is that a decent amount of material over a 10 year period? I’m not sure. Certainly that singles figure seems a tad on the low side and resulted in just six TOTP appearances over the course of their career. Back in 1991, not long after I’d started working at the Our Price store in Market Street, Manchester, the duo of Bernard Sumner and Johnny Marr had released their eponymous debut album to critical appreciation and commercial success (it made No 2 in the album charts and sold a million copies worldwide). I recall their being such a buzz about the album which was magnified in Manchester obviously given the background of its two protagonists. There was even a demand for the import version of the album which included the single “Getting Away With It” which the UK version did not.

However, a gap of five years until the next album proved to be too long for that momentum to be maintained and sophomore effort “Raise The Pressure” was nowhere near as well received, neither commercially nor critically. By 1999, were they seen as, if not irrelevant, then as an anachronism? Too harsh? Maybe but the truth was that third album “Twisted Tenderness” spent just two weeks inside the Top 40 chart. Its lead single “Vivid” was…well…OK and that seems a damning description when you consider the quality of the cannon of work of Sumner and Marr. Was their heart not really in it anymore? That didn’t seem to be the case watching this performance and more specifically Sumner’s energetic-pogoing, arms-flailing, air-punching, woo hoo-ing antics. Maybe a decision to dissolve the project had already been made and he wanted to go out with a flourish? If so, we couldn’t have known that at the time but retrospectively we got the message.

Fancy a flamenco guitar themed dance anthem? No, nor do I but I haven’t got any choice as the author of this blog so you’re coming with me! According to Wikipedia, Ruff Driverz had six Top 40 hits. Six! I couldn’t have named one of them without looking at their discography but “La Musica” was the fifth of them and the second highest charting peaking at No 13. It was officially credited to Ruff Driverz presents Arrola but who was Arrola? Well, she was Katherine Ellis who came from a very performing arts background. Look at this from her Wikipedia page:

“…her mother Elizabeth was trained as an actress at the Royal Academy for dramatic art, her grandmother Joy was a violinist and pianist, and her great grandmother Elizabeth Haslam was a opera singer who won a competition at the Royal Albert Hall in 1893.”

Blimey! Katherine continued that lineage by becoming one of the go to vocalists in the UK house scene, working with the likes of Freemasons, Soul Avengerz and Cherrone. As for “La Musica”, I’m sure it was popular in the clubs but its repetitive “Di-O-Lo-Le-La” line didn’t make for a very engaging TOTP performance, even allowing for the distraction of the troupe of backing dancers. As for the ‘Arrola’ moniker, whoever thought it up was only one letter away from making a tit of themselves.

Before the Sugababes and their revolving door recruitment policy, there was Honeyz who set the mould for girl groups and continually changing line ups. However, I’ve talked about that story in all its detail before so I don’t propose to go through it all again. Suffice to say that, as Gail Porter comments, this was the first time for most of us seeing new member Mariama Goodman who had recently replaced Heavenli Abdi. The timing of Abdi’s departure was really off though coming as they were preparing to embark on a promotional campaign for the release of their third single “Love Of A Lifetime”. The original trio had already shot the video for the track including scenes with Abdi but her decision to quit after that shoot and before a promotional trip to Australia meant that the promo was now effectively redundant and so would have to be reshot. A temporary, second cut saw Heavenli heavily edited out of the video before a third was produced with shots of Goodman included. I wonder if the Honeyz management billed Abdi for all that re-shooting?

“Love Of A Lifetime” was more of the slick R&B/ pop sound we’d come to expect and duly returned another sizeable hit when it peaked at No 9. As far as I can ascertain, Abdi’s original vocals remained on the track and it wasn’t until follow up “Never Let You Down” that Goodman’s own singing featured. A fifth single from their album “Wonder No 8” appeared in early 2000 at which point Goodman promptly left the group to be replaced by a returning Abdi and the line up shenanigans began in earnest. Honeyz are still a going concern today operating as a trio of Célena Cherry, her sister Candace and Abdi (now known as Heavenli Roberts). In conclusion, I can’t say if they finally found the perfect line up and share a love of a lifetime or if the end of the line might still be in sight.

We’ve arrived at the final ‘new’ single of the show and it’s from Suede who we hadn’t seen nor heard of since August 1997 when “Filmstar” was released as the final single from their “Coming Up” album. In the interim time, Brett Anderson had developed a serious drug problem whilst keyboardist Neil Codling’s health was affected by chronic fatigue syndrome. As such, the environment for writing and recording a new album wasn’t ideal. Plus, there was a decision to be made about which direction the band should head musically. After divisive sophomore album “Dog Man Star” had drawn acclaim as a work of genius and criticism as one of the most pretentious albums ever recorded, a more mainstream sound was pursued with the glam-pop of “Coming Up” that furnished the band with five Top 10 singles. That run was continued by “Electricity”, the lead track from fourth album “Head Music”. However, subsequent singles released from it would form a picture of diminishing returns and indeed, Suede have not returned to the Top 10 since.

“Head Music” would top the charts but would spend just two weeks inside the Top 20 suggesting large early sales due to a sizeable fan base but a lack of crossover appeal. In terms of its sonic properties, it had a more electronic sound with producer Steve Osborne, who had worked with the Happy Mondays, imbuing it with a dance music vibe. As for “Electricity”, it sounded a bit more raw/garage-like to me than anything on “Coming Up” though some reviews heard a connection to “Trash”. It didn’t grab me I have to say and, as with Electronic earlier, left me a little underwhelmed but compared to some of the other rubbish in the charts, it was…well…electric but just on a lower wattage than before. Definitely not displaying low wattage was the visual effect of an electric charge coming from Brett’s microphone. Maybe it looked clever back in 1999 but it looks a bit naff in 2026.

Right, that confirms it. The fact that Westlife are clearly seen in the backstage area next to Gail Porter during the next segue and they haven’t even had a hit yet and won’t perform on the show for the very first time for another seven days is definitive proof that some of these performances were definitely not recorded the same week that the show was broadcast. This explains why the host is sometimes not seen in shot when doing the link and we just get a cutaway instead. Finally!

Right, rant over. We’re back to the repeated performances and we get TLC with “No Scrubs” again. Here are the details for this one:

  • Total TOTP appearances: Four (this was the third)
  • No of consecutive appearances: Two
  • Weeks in Top 10: Eight
  • Chart run: 7- 13 – 8 – 6 – 9 – 3 – 5 – 5 – 9

OK so, having cross-referenced its chart positions with the group’s TOTP performances, there does seem to be some clear, logical correlation with each appearance synchronised with a corresponding rise up the chart. That’s all fine but why did we have to have this satellite performance video every single time? Couldn’t we have had the promo video one time at least? After all, it did win the MTV Video Music Award For Best Group Video at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards.

Right, I can’t really complain about this repeat performance seeing as it is actually the No 1 single for the second week running. Yes, this week’s highest new entry from Suede (No 5) proved to be no serious competition in the end for Martine McCutcheon and her hit “Perfect Moment”. With a No 1 straight off the bat, the only way was down for Martine and she would never have that level of success again but that chart topper can never be taken away from her (even if it was a cover version).

One thing that was taken off her though was any potential return to EastEnders. Supposedly, Martine was not happy with her character Tiffany Mitchell being killed off by the writers to allow her to pursue her pop star ambitions as she would have liked the chance to return once her music-orientated spleen had been vented but they used to call that having your cake and eating it didn’t they?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Whitney HoustonIt’s Not Right But It’s OKNo
2Phats & SmallTurn AroundNo thanks
3Electronic VividI did not
4Ruff Driverz presents ArrolaLa MusicaNever
5HoneyzLove Of A LifetimeNah
6SuedeElectricityNegative
7TLCNo ScrubsNope
8Martine McCutcheonPerfect MomentAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP 16 APR 1999

In the previous show, Jamie Theakston made a reference to Manchester United footballer Ryan Giggs in his intro to Catatonia as the Welsh international had scored an important equaliser for his club in the first leg of their Champions League semi-final versus Juventus. His goal scoring form continued into another huge game – the FA Cup semi-final replay against title rivals Arsenal two days before this TOTP aired. Whilst the goal itself was pretty special, it was his celebration of it that remains uppermost in the memory. Removing his shirt and twirling it around his head, the full extent of the hairiness of the Giggs chest was revealed. Many gagging reflexes were put into operation at the sight. I think it was the shock factor more than anything else. Fancy that lath-thin, whippet-like Ryan Giggs having a big, manly, hairy chest like that. I wonder if any of tonight’s acts had hairy chests or failing that a connection to hair (other than the obvious one on their heads)?

Our host is Jayne Middlemiss (pretty sure she didn’t have a hairy chest) and the first artist on tonight is Phats & Small with their dance anthem hit “Turn Around”. This was only just on the previous show so I’m struggling to find anything else to say about it. I’ve said about vocalist Ben Ofoedu being engaged to TV broadcaster Vanessa Feltz, I’ve referenced their amusingly named album “Now Phats What I Small Music”…what else is there? Oh, the track itself. Well, yeah there is that I suppose. Well, I can hear why it was a success. It was a very accessible tune which crossed over from the dance floor to daytime radio which presumably helped prolong its chart life which clocked in at seven consecutive weeks inside the Top 10. Its legacy includes being voted in at No 38 in MTV Dance’s 2011 list of ‘The 100 Biggest 90’s Dance Anthems of All Time’. That do?

Hairy connection: DHT (a byproduct of testosterone) causes body hair to grow and head hair to shrink sometimes leading to the paradox of hairy men being bald on their heads. Testosterone is sometimes nicknamed ‘phat’.

Meatloaf was still having hits in 1999?! I know the 90s had been a renaissance decade for him what with “Bat Out Of Hell II” being a humongous sales phenomenon but that had been back in 1993. What’s that? He also had a big seller with the follow up “Welcome To The Neighbourhood” two years later? Well, yes he did and yes it delivered him three hit singles including the No 2 hit “I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth)” but that was still years prior. By the end of the 90s, he (or his record company) had resorted to yet another Best Of album (the 13th of 20 according to his discography) which was released the previous November just in time for the Christmas sales rush. How convenient/cynical. Ah, so that’s where this song comes from. The practice of releasing a Greatest Hits album but trailing it with a new track was well established by this point and Meatloaf wasn’t going to buck the trend. “Is Nothing Sacred” had originally been recorded for the “Welcome To The Neighbourhood” album but hadn’t made the cut at the time. It was recycled though for “The Very Best Of Meatloaf” when it was re-recorded as a duet with his go to female singer Patti Russo. It was, in fact, not originally scheduled for that role though as there was another song on that Greatest Hits album that was earmarked for that job which was “A Kiss Is A Terrible Thing To Waste” which had been The Loaf’s contribution to the Jim Steinman penned Whistle Down The Wind soundtrack. Indeed, Meat had been rumoured to be locked in as the artist to record “No Matter What” but that particular golden egg landed up in Boyzone’s laps. Had it gone the other way, I wouldn’t have been asking the question I posed at the start of this paragraph.

As for “Is Nothing Sacred”, despite its place in that Greatest Hits album, it certainly wasn’t one of his very best, being a piss poor imitation of some of those classic hits. There would be a few more charting singles into the new millennium but Meatloaf’s death in 2022 aged 74 meant that 2016’s “Braver Than We Are” would be his last ever album and there would be no more and that’s the truth.

Hairy connection: Well, apart from the obvious long hair he sported in the “Bat Out Of Hell” era, Meatloaf also appeared in the musical Hair on and off Broadway.

It’s a repeat of that satellite performance by TLC of “No Scrubs” next. This was another of those remarkably hardy hits that enjoyed an extended chart life, spending two months inside the Top 10 eventually peaking at No 3. However, looking in more detail at its chart stats, there was a moment when things might have panned out differently. After debuting at No 7 it actually dropped to No 13 the following week and at that point you would have been forgiven for thinking that it would continue to spiral down the charts. Not so though as a third week reversal of fortunes saw it climb back into the Top 10 where it would remain for seven consecutive weeks. Even then, there were undulations within that period with the single moving to No 6 then dropping to No 9 before vaulting back to No 3 and spending two weeks at No 5. What was all that about? Well, it would be featured on TOTP twice more so maybe that exposure helped propel it up the charts? I’m not sure but what I do know is that I’m going to have to find something to write about it at least twice more in this blog for which my creativity might require some tender loving care.

Hairy connection: The follow up hit to “No Scrubs” was “Unpretty” which featured a lyric about hair extensions – “You can buy your hair if it won’t grow”.

In the three years since they’d last released an album, The Cranberries had found themselves rather usurped in the rock band fronted by a charismatic female lead singer with a strong, Celtic influenced accent stakes. Catatonia had ripped up the charts with hits like “Mulder And Scully” and “Road Rage” going Top 5, eclipsing the highest peaking singles of their Irish contemporaries who rather unbelievably and certainly unjustly would never have a Top 10 hit. Come 1999, after Dolores O’Riordan had given birth to her first child, The Cranberries were back with fourth album “Bury The Hatchet” preceded by lead single “Promises”. It was a strong, aggressive sounding comeback (though there was a lot of reliance on lyrics like “Oh-woah, oh, oh” and “Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo”) but the truth was that five years on from their commercial heyday, the band’s sales were in decline. “Bury The Hatchet” sold a tenth of the copies which debut “Everybody Else Is Doing It, Why Can’t We?” did. The album’s cover artwork probably didn’t help. Whilst the first three featured standard but effective poses of the band, their fourth went in an altogether more arty direction. It was designed by Storm Thorgerson who was school mates with most of Pink Floyd and would go on to design the iconic cover for their legendary “The Dark Side Of The Moon” album. However, “Bury The Hatchet” would not garner such an illustrious reputation. You could see glimpses of Thorgerson’s work on, for example, “Wish You Were Here” in the concept but a naked man being observed by a suspended giant eye against a desert background looked outlandish rather than creative.

A fifth album followed within two years but its perceived lack of promotion by their record label pushed the band to split from MCA and ushered in an eight year hiatus. Three more albums would arrive (one posthumously) but the death of O’Riordan in 2018 brought a permanent end to the band’s story.

Hairy connection: Consuming dried cranberries is associated with promoting hair growth due to their vitamin C and antioxidant content. 

Now I remember the name Glamma Kid but can I tell you anything about the artist behind that name? No I can’t. Not without the aid of the internet anyway.

*checks internet*

OK, well that’s not his real name obviously. That would be Iyael Lyases Tafari Constable…yeah, not as snappy as Glamma Kid is it? Anyway, he was/is a toaster – of the musical kind obviously not a relative of the artificially intelligent electric bread toaster variety that was a recurring character in Red Dwarf with an obsession with making small talk exclusively about toast. Of course not. Hailing from Hackney, he initially made a name for himself by appearing on Tim Westwood’s Radio 1 rap show in 1996. By the following year, he was being awarded a MOBO Award for Best Reggae Act and by 1999 he had two Top 10 hits. The first of those was “Taboo” which interpolated the 1985 Sade hit “The Sweetest Taboo” and was a duet (of sorts) with Shola Ama.

I was never the biggest fan of the original but what they’ve done to it with this treatment is nothing short of criminal and when I say they I mean Glamma Kid. What is he doing here? Bent down on his haunches, stalking the stage in an all white suit? I think he was going for a Mark Morrison vibe but he actually looks like Vic Reeves during one of his rubbing his thighs, over excited by a female guest episodes of Shooting Stars. Then there’s the noise that he’s making. It’s just horrible caterwauling! It’s even worse than Shaggy! Who could possibly want to listen to it more than once or am I missing something?! You know what, I don’t think I am.

Hairy connection: Glamma is presumably short for ‘glamour’ which conjures up images of luxuriously coiffured hair plus Glamma Kid featured on a 1998 remix of David Bowie’s “Fashion” which again has connections with hairstyles.

Yay! It’s the New Radicals again! This was the third time in the show for Gregg Alexander’s band and their hit “You Get What You Give” but you won’t find me moaning about repeat performances in the Chris Cowey era as I have done for month after month, post after post as I’m a complete hypocrite and I liked this one so the more the merrier for me!

However, it does leave me with the problem of what else I’m going to say about it. Well, this appears to be a live vocal performance as Gregg does seem to be straining somewhat with his singing in places. Actually, there also appear to be some technical issues as well with echoing vocals and a definite bit of feedback towards the end of the song. We just about have time for the infamous “Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson, Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson” line but not for the word “ass” right at the death though I think the BBC censors might have blanked it out. Hard to tell.

Hairy connection: Although Gregg Alexander wore his trademark hat to cover his face to hide the fact that he was not enjoying promoting a hit record via the rules of the music industry, it also concealed the fact that he was bald that was only revealed in the video that accompanied the song.

Talk about creating a buzz about a forthcoming release! There was always going to be great deal of interest in the debut solo single by ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell but the promotion around “Look At Me” really went into overdrive. Look at this TOTP exclusive showing of its promo video a whole month before it was actually released! And that was just part of the marketing story. Halliwell embarked on a short promotional tour in support of the single visiting cities such as Rio de Janeiro, New York, Tokyo, Sydney and Milan. Remember, she only had the one song at this point that you could actually buy (even the extra tracks on the CD single were just remixes of “Look At Me”) yet she was straddling the globe to sell it! Was it all worth it? Yes and no. A No 2 hit is nothing to be sneered at but surely after all that promotion a chart topping debut would have been expected. In the end, Geri was beaten by Boyzone doing yet another cover version. That must have stung a bit.

So what about her actual song – was it any good? Well, I give Geri credit for not doing an obvious big ballad (I’m not sure she had the vocal chops for that anyway) or indeed, going the Boyzone route and releasing a cover version. However, “Look At Me” was accused of sounding very similar to another late 90s hit – “History Repeating” by Propellerheads featuring Shirley Bassey and you can hear why though I’m not sure I made that connection myself at the time. The structure of “Look At Me” does work with as opposed to against Geri’s rather limited vocals enabling her to sing in snatches or phrases rather than seamlessly not that there’s anything wrong with that but then what the hell was that middle eight breakdown?! Were the Spice Girls fanbase ready for that or was Geri looking for a new, more mature audience?

I guess I should comment on the video. First off, the fact that it’s nearly all shot in black and white was a bold move from someone who once sang “Colours of the world, Spice up your life”. Again, was that designed to show she was now a serious artist in search of a new type of fan? If that wasn’t a clue then the funeral scene killing of her ‘Ginger Spice’ persona couldn’t be see as anything but a desire to leave behind her former group. This was backed up by the caption at the start of the promo asking “Who is…Geri Halliwell?” suggesting that we perhaps had not seen the real version of her yet. The rest of the video has Halliwell playing around with female stereotypes which she nominated as vamp, bitch, virgin and sister. I’m not quite sure if she succeeded in her observations of said stereotypes nor indeed what those observations might have been.

Whatever you thought of her debut single, and on reflection my judgement would be ‘could’ve been worse’ or even “not without merit”, it paved the way for a run of four consecutive No 1 hits three of which came from her debut album “Schizophonic” and that could in no way be seen as a disappointing return.

Hairy connection: You mean apart from the whole ‘Ginger Spice’ persona being based on her red hair colour and apart from Geri referring to her look as “hair power” and apart from her hair being considered to have altered the course of 1990s beauty history, with fans often emulating her look? Nah, nothing really.

You’d have thought that as the new millennium dawned, we’d have gotten a bit bored with the whole soap star to pop star schtick but here was Tiffany from EastEnders to prove that we still had room for more. I think it’s fair to say that Martine McCuthcheon has moved on from that role not in the least part because of her much loved turn in Love Actually but back then she was Tiffany so big and well liked had her character become. Only a few short months prior, Tiffany Mitchell was written out of the soap when she was killed off on New Year’s Eve after being knocked down by a car driven by Frank Butcher (hence Jayne Middlemiss’s quip about her not being very good at road safety). Twenty-two million people watched that episode and a book about the character of Tiffany was a bestseller!

Given all of that, it’s perhaps no surprise that McCutcheon’s debut single went to No 1. What people did seem to be surprised about though was shown in their reaction to “Perfect Moment” which went along the lines of “It’s quite good innit”. I guess it was a similar response to that which another soap star’s debut single had received not so long before – “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia. However, whereas the ex-Neighbours star had gone for a shimmering piece of pop perfection, Martine gave us the full, dramatic big ballad treatment. Just as Geri Halliwell surprised us with her almost jazz-pop first solo song, perhaps we might have expected a bit of pop fluff from Martine or a cover version like previous EastEnders star Sophie Lawrence had and Sid Owen would go on to do. Not a bit of it…or rather a little bit of it as “Perfect Moment” was a cover but I’m pretty sure most people were completely unaware of the original. Recorded in 1997 by Polish singer Edyta Górniak, that version was little known outside of Poland and so, again as with Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn”, most of us thought it was, if not Martine’s song, then it had been written specifically for her. It starts off sounding a bit like “A Different Corner” by George Michael with a some serene strings being plucked before Martine delivers a perfectly adequate vocal. There’s no doubting that she could sing a bit but then she had been in little known, mid 90s girl group Milan who spent one week at No 82 with a single called “Lead Me On” – I did say they were little known! Anyway, “Perfect Moment” came over as quite a classy tune in the style of Barbra Streisand or at least Celine Dion and great things were predicted for Martine McCutcheon the pop star. A No 2 album duly followed and a pair of No 6 singles but by 2000, diminishing returns kicked in and her next two albums didn’t produce anywhere near the same numbers. Then came a return to acting and the role of Natalie in Love Actually though I have to say I can’t think of much else I e seen her in recently and Love Actually is now 23 years old.

*checks her filmography*

Martine’s most recent TV appearances have been as herself in shows like Loose Women, Celebrity Gogglebox and The Masked Singer in which she came 10th dressed as a swan. Probably not her perfect moment then.

Hairy connection: Martine has openly discussed her struggles with scalp sensitivity and dandruff endorsing Polytar medicinal shampoo to treat these issues and has become a scalp health advocate using her platform to discuss the impact of stress and health issues on her hair.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Phats & SmallTurn AroundNegative
2MeatloafIs Nothing SacredI did not
3TLCNo ScrubsNah
4The CranberriesPromisesNope
5Glamma Kid / Shola AmaTabooNo chance
6New RadicalsYou Get What You GiveYES!
7Geri HalliwellLook At MeI did not
8Martine McCuthcheonPerfect MomentAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agre

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002rlpd/top-of-the-pops-16041999