TOTP 17 OCT 1991

It’s mid October 1991 and therefore week three of the new TOTP format – had we all got used to it yet? I recall some of these performances so I must have carried on watching it whether I liked the show’s new style or not (pretty sure it was the latter). I would have been 23 by this point – was that too old to have been watching TOTP? In my defence, I was working in a record shop (Our Price) for a living so I could make a case that it was work related. Looking back, I didn’t feel too old to still be a TOTP viewer but as I say, I was working in a mainstream, chart led record shop so it kind of felt the obvious thing to do.

Now if I was too old to be watching the show, tonight’s opening act were surely too old to have been performing on it?! Presenter Tony Dortie correctly advises us that even back in 1991, it was 20 years since Slade had scored their first No 1 single (“Coz I Luv You”) and in 1991 the youngest member of the band was Jim Lea at a sprightly 42 while the rest of the band were all 45. That makes them 8 year younger than I am now and I would like to think I’m not an old man yet but mid 40s for being on a pop music show that had recently gone through a revamp to show it was still ‘hip for the kids’? Clearly new producer Stanley Appel hadn’t learned his lesson from two weeks ago when one of the bands booked for the first show under his tutelage were Status Quo!

So why exactly were these gods of glam rock in the charts and on TOTP in 1991? Well, after their resurrection in the mid 80s due to hits like “My Oh My” and “Run Runaway”, the band’s chart fortunes had once again been on the slide and they’d descended into a world of greatest hits packages for the Xmas market and endless re-releases of that festive single (8 separate occasions in the 80s). However, 1991 racked up a quartet of a century of the band’s existence (in one form or another) and the Slade fan club-organised a 25th anniversary party to celebrate. Wanting to cash in on the renewed interest in the band, their record label Polydor floated the idea of yet another Greatest Hits compilation album but backed with a TV advertising campaign and two new singles to add interest for the fanbase. “Radio Wall of Sound“was the first of those two singles and it’s a right old stomper and no mistake but why is bassist Jim Lea doing most of the singing and not Noddy Holder? Well, it was written by Lea for a solo project and when the band came to record it, they found that it was not in Noddy’s key and so Lea did most of the vocals with the Nodster just joining in on the chorus. Around this time, Noddy had come into the Our Price where I was working and I ended up serving him. I can’t recall what he bought but I was delighted to note that his credit card was emblazoned with the legend N Holder on it. However, my joy was cut short when I realised that his real name is Neville and so the ‘N’ of course referred to that and not ‘Noddy’.

Back to “Radio Wall of Sound” though and despite it definitely sounding like a Slade record, for me it also displayed another influence. The radio DJ voice-over bits were undeniably channelling Starship’s “We Built This City”. Apparently, the DJ in question is Mike Read who had presumably taken time off from writing the theme tune for BBC horse racing drama Trainer and had also had to miss a UKIP fund raiser dinner party to record his lines.

To be fair to Stanley Appel and his production team, they’ve gone in hard straight away to create a buzz with some pyrotechnic explosions behind the band before they even start singing. Happily, they haven’t reverted to that practice during their mid 80s revival of handing out nasty, cheap looking and probably highly flammable Slade scarves to the studio audience to wave around.

“Radio Wall of Sound” achieved a decent chart high of No 21 but was undone by, according to Noddy Holder, a lack of TV slots to promote it. Apparently they’d tried to do Wogan but couldn’t get on the show. I checked the listings for the week that this TOTP was broadcast and the two musical guests on Wogan were Alison Moyet and Texas both of who performed their latest singles – Alison’s track “This House” peaked at No 40 and The Texas single “In My Heart” stalled at No 74. Neither were pulling in huge hits in the early 90s so it seems odd that a space couldn’t be found for Slade (especially Texas who at this point had only scored one hit single in 1989 and were six years away from their commercial peak of the “White On Blonde” album). The second of those new Slade singles was called “Universe” and was released as the follow up to “Radio Wall of Sound” in the December but got lost in the Xmas market and failed to chart. As such, Polydor went cold on the idea of the band recording any new material and they broke up in 1992 with Lea and Holder leaving whilst Dave Hill and Don Powell carried on under the banner of Slade II.

As Tony Dortie walks up the gantry steps at the end of the song to do the link into the Top 10 countdown, you can hear what I assume can only be Noddy Holder making some guttural noises that sound like an alarm going off. Maybe he was making it up to the studio audience for his lack of vocal participation on “Radio Wall of Sound”?

Oh crikey, Enya‘s back! Yes, she of the No 1 song “Orinoco Flow” that everyone went overboard about back in 1988 for being so dreamlike and haunting and blissful and all those other epithets that the press and media bestowed up on her. The single propelled her to international stardom and the album it was taken from (‘Watermark”) sold 11 million copies worldwide. Well, it took her three years to record the follow up which was an album called “Shepherd Moons” of which “Caribbean Blue” was the lead single. I remember that the album was expected to shift a huge number of units over Xmas in the Our Price store I was working in and therefore a huge amount of units were ordered in. It didn’t disappoint going to No 1 with 13 million copies purchased world-wide. All this sales were achieved without the massive promotional pull of a No1 single that its predecessor “Watermark” had benefitted from. “Caribbean Blue” went to No 13 in the UK but was not a huge hit globally only making the Top 10 in her native Ireland.

For this studio performance, the stage has a back drop that seems to be some sort of lost temple in an overgrown jungle but which fortunately still has functioning dry ice machines. Enya herself sits statically at the piano but unlike with Julian Lennon’s keyboard performance the other week, new TOTP producer Stanley Appel resisted the urge to beef up the performance with clips of the official promo video (even though it featured future Eastenders star Martine McCutcheon).

The intro to the song by presenter Mark Franklin is a bit sycophantic…

“She’s live in the studio tonight playing the unique sound of Enya…”

What sound did you expect her to play Mark? She is Enya after all so she was hardly likely to come out and do a tribute to Liberace was she?!

Moving on and it’s another studio performance by another returning female solo star in Lisa Stansfield. Like Enya before her, Lisa had also scored a massive No 1 back in the late 80s with “All Around the World” but hadn’t been seen in the charts for a good 18 months by this point. “Change” was the lead single from her second solo album called “Real Love” and that album would help to establish Lisa as one of the UK’s most prominent soul singers by going double platinum over here and reaching No 3 in the charts. It housed four UK Top 40 singles including one of her most well known songs in “All Woman” though the track I would have liked to have seen released was “Soul Deep” that remained an album track.

Lisa’s grown her hair a bit since the days of “All Around the World” and that short cut and kiss curl look. She still looks fabulous. I worked in Our Price Rochdale (Lisa’s hometown) for a whole year between ’92 and ’93 and the only time she came into the shop, I was on my day off. Damn it!

Luckier than me was presenter Mark Franklin who gets to interview Lisa at the end of her performance for one of those embarrassing interviews in which he asks Lisa about her forthcoming tour and we find out that she is going on tour (surprise surprise), that it begins in February and is going pretty much everywhere on the planet. Quality in depth interviewing there. He reminds me of Lady One Question from early noughties Channel 4 comedy gambling game show Banzai

So after Stevie Wonder and Queen in weeks one and two of the show’s new format, week three brings us another big hitter in the ‘video exclusive’ section as we get U2‘s latest promo for their new single “The Fly”. Their first release of the 90s, this was the lead single from their multi-platinum “Achtung Baby” album. Very much seen as a change of style at the time with its multi layered guitars and distorted effects on Bono’s vocal, it was certainly no “With Or Without You”. Indeed, Bono is on record as describing the song as “The sound of four men chopping down The Joshua Tree”. For me though it sounded like U2 doing their best INXS impression but that wasn’t a bad thing in my book although I was surprised to find a copy of the 7″ in my singles box as I don’t recall buying it. I would also end up buying the album on which there are much better tracks than “The Fly” for me.

The song would also announce Bono’s ‘The Fly’ character which was meant to send up the stereotype of an egomaniacal rock star. Sadly for Bono, I’m not sure everyone got the joke and his wearing of large wrap-around sunglasses backfired on him in many ways. Attending press conferences in ‘The Fly’ persona was probably not the best idea Bono ever had either and didn’t help his cause.

Whatever any of us thought about the song, it created itself a space in chart history as the single that eventually toppled Bryan Adams’ 16 week run at the top of the charts. Ironically, although it went straight in at No 1, “The Fly” was only made available for three weeks before the band’s record label Island deleted it so that they could clear the release schedules for further singles to be pulled from the album. How many music fans wished that Bryan’s record label A&M had done a similar thing with “(Everything I Do) I Did It For You”?

Dannii Minogue‘s annus mirabilis continues a pace with her fourth hit single of 1991 “Baby Love”. Not a cover of the Diana Ross & The Supremes number but a cover version all the same as this track was originally recorded by one hit wonder Regina and was a US No 10 hit in 1986. Dannii would have been better off going for the Motown track in my opinion as the Regina song doesn’t seem to have much going for it to my ears. Interesting to note that now the acts have to sing live on the show, Dannii’s dance moves are considerably curtailed – in fact she hardly moves at all leaving all the “nifty dance moves” (as promised by Tony Dortie in his intro) to her trio of backing dancers. To be fair to her, you couldn’t have expected anything but an out of breath vocal if she’d also attempted all the dancing we saw for her performance of previous hit “Jump To The Beat”.

The film that she is starring in that will be released the following year that Tony Dortie references, I hadn’t realised I’d seen until I researched it for this post. Success (also known as One Crazy Night) tells the story of four Beatles obsessed fans (plus an Elvis fan who can’t stand them) who find themselves locked in the basement of the hotel that the moptops are staying in whilst in Australia during their touring years period. While waiting to be rescued, they start to share their deepest secrets with each other. Often compared (unfavourably) to The Breakfast Club, it attracted criticism for the use of Beatles songs that didn’t belong in the time period the film was set. The plot takes place in 1964 but some of the songs used are from much later albums like “Abbey Road” and “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” which does seem unforgivable. However, the fact that I even remembered the film at all suggests it must have done something right to stay in my memory banks although I’d certainly forgotten that Dannii Minogue was in it.

“Baby Love” peaked at No 14.

The video for “Wind Of Change” by Scorpions is next. As Tony Dortie says, it was giving Bryan Adams a run for his money by occupying the No 2 spot in the charts this week although I have no idea how many copies it was actually selling and whether it was indeed anywhere near to knocking the Canadian off his throne.

The song was the subject of an eight part podcast in 2020 which raised the possibility that the song was written by or connected to the CIA. What?! The premise goes that the CIA may have wanted to engender anti Soviet Union sentiment by utilising pop culture and the result was the writing of this people unifying, Cold War busting anthem. I haven’t heard the podcast but it’s an interesting theory and all. However, I get the impression it involves lots of internet rabbit holes and reminds me of all those conspiracy theorists out there who believe that Paul McCartney was killed in a car crash in 1966 and replaced with a lookalike as the Beatles obsessed nation couldn’t have handled the truth. I’m not buying either story.

This week the album chart feature is fulfilled by Paul Young whose Best Of collection “From Time to Time – The Singles Collection” is at No 5 this week. I’m guessing that neither Paul nor his record label Columbia could have foreseen the album going straight in at No 1 and being certified triple platinum but that’s exactly what happened. To be fair to Paul, it was a quality package filled with substantial hits from 1983 to the present (i.e. 1991) plus four newly recorded tracks one of which was this cover of Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over“. I’d bought the original back in 1987 and although Paul’s version is inferior, he does a decent job of it all the same.

The performance here is interesting with Paul sat down for the duration and strumming a guitar! Don’t think I’d ever seen him do that before or indeed knew he could play. And isn’t that Paul Carrack on keyboards once of Ace, Squeeze and Mike + The Mechanics? It is you know. Bizarrely, Carrack had shared lead vocal duties with another Paul Young whilst in Mike Rutherford’s Genesis offshoot project but this one was the ex lead singer of Sad Café who passed away in 2000 rather than the singer of such hits as “Love of the Common People”, “Wherever I Lay My Hat (That’s My Home)” and “Everytime You Go Away”.

Paul’s version of “Don’t Dream It’s Over” peaked at No 20.

Mark Franklin goes in for another interview about tour dates when he grills Paul Young about his forthcoming Xmas tour and then we’re into the Breakers starting with Ce Ce Peniston and “Finally”. Hang on – I thought this was in the charts much later than this and after she’d had already had a hit with a track called “We Got a Love Thang”

*checks officialcharts.com*

Yes I was right…and wrong. It was a much bigger hit (No 2) when re-released in March of ’92 after “We Got A Love Thang” had been a Top 10 hit at the start of the year. I had completely forgotten that “Finally” was also a No 26 hit in ’91. The track has routinely featured in various publications and music stations polls usually called something like The Biggest 90’s Dance Anthems of All Time etc and was also a huge smash in the US where it peaked at No 5. There was also a parent album called “Finally” which also performed well in the UK peaking at No 10.

I always quite liked it and much preferred it to “We Got a Love Thang”. It was kept off the top spot in ’92 by another long running No 1 song – Shakespears Sister’s “Stay”.

The second Breaker comes from Moby with “Go”. As with Ce Ce Peniston, I get a little confused over the chart history of this one. Various sources say that it was either released in March ’91 or July of that year – either way, it took a long time then for it to get into the Top 40. Maybe it was a sleeper hit, big in the clubs but not being played on mainstream radio?

The track was originally the B-side to Moby’s debut single from the previous year “Mobility” but was remixed with added samples from the obligatory Jocelyn Brown (the ‘yeah’ bit) and David Lynch’s mystery-horror TV series Twin Peaks and it would eventually (ahem) go Top 10. It wasn’t really my cup of tea although I would end up working with someone at Our Price who adored Moby well before his record-busting “Play” album of 1999 (which I did succumb to buying).

The clip that we see on TOTP of the kaleidoscopic video for the track was pretty standard dance tune fare and gave no idea to the identity of Moby who would turn out to be a little bald headed American bloke (although he does feature if you watch the whole promo).

Oh, it’s one of those TOTP performances that get talked up as memorable but was it actually any good? I refer to Monty Python and “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”. I say Monty Python but it’s really just Eric Idle surrounded by what seemed to be a cast of thousands but was in fact a few blokes in Python-esque housewife fancy dress and a fake band. I guess it’s quite well choreographed with various explosions, instruments being broken and parts of the set falling down (hopefully the Health & Safety risk assessment was rigorous) and Idle does a good job of leading us all through it (and the studio audience through the set) but was it that funny?! That walk through the studio reminded me of similar performances by Adam Ant for “Goody Two Shoes” and that time Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes To Hollywood took a stroll to relieve the boredom of miming to “Two Tribes” on the show for the ninth (?) time. In all honesty, I preferred Adam and Holly’s excursions. The taxi at the end to whisk Idle away brought to mind Blur in that milk float at the start of the TOTP in the week of the legendary Blur v Oasis chart battle.

“Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” went all the way to No 3 whilst the re-release of the “Monty Python Sings” album off the back of it peaked at No 62.

And it’s STILL there at No 1 – Bryan Adams records a 15th consecutive week at the top of the charts with “(Everything I Do ) I Do It For You”. Bryan must have got a taste for doing songs for film soundtracks as he would record three more before the decade was out – “All for Love” (with Rod Stewart and Sting) reached No 2 in the UK charts in 1994 from the film The Three Musketeers whilst “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?” a year later from Don Juan DeMarco peaked at No 4. A final soundtrack song was recorded with Barbara Streisand in 1996 called “I Finally Found Someone” from her The Mirror Has Two Faces movie. Into the new millennium, he recorded “Here I Am” for the DreamWorks animation film Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron. I don’t think I liked any of them.

Just before the closing credits, Eric Idle returns to pie presenters Mark Franklin and Tony Dortie in the face. A watching nation cheered him on.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1SladeRadio Wall Of SoundNope
2EnyaCaribbean BlueNo
3Lisa StansfieldChangeYes! Well, it’s in my singles box but I think my wife bought it actually.
4U2The FlyYes! Two on the trot! When was the last time that happened?
5Dannii MinogueBaby LoveThis was never going to complete a hat-trick of purchases – no
6ScorpionsWind Of ChangeNah
7Paul YoungDon’t Dream It’s OverNo but I bought his Best Of album with it on
8Ce Ce PensitonFinallyI did not
9Moby GoGo? No.
10Monty PythonAlways Look On The Bright Side Of LifeNever happening
11Bryan Adams (Everything I Do ) I Do It For You”Negative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0010rl4/top-of-the-pops-17101991

TOTP 03 OCT 1991

For the first time in what seems like forever, the stars have aligned and the BBC4 TOTP repeats and therefore the TOTP Rewind blog is in sync with the real world! Yes, it is October in 2021 and we have finally entered October in 1991. Come the broadcast of the repeats next Friday, we will almost be in exact parallel to the day with 30 years ago.

For now though, it isn’t exact timings that preoccupies the world of TOTP but the ‘year zero’ revamp. The 03 October 1991 show brought about the biggest changes to the show’s format in years. Radio 1 DJs as hosts? Gone! Paul Hardcastle’s “The Wizard” theme tune that had soundtracked the show’s opening credits for the last 5 and a half years? Gone! Indeed, said opening credit graphics? Gone! The option to mime to a backing track? Gone! Acts had to sing live from hereon in. Even the set was new with the show having been shifted from BBC Television Centre in London to BBC Elstree Centre in Borehamwood. All of these changes were the brainchild of incoming new producer Stanley Appel whose associations with the programme extended back to 1966 through various roles as cameraman, production assistant, director and stand-in producer. Despite his long standing connections with the show, I’d have to say ‘talk about a new broom’!

The concept behind all these changes was to make the show appear ‘cool’ again and install within in it a sense of it being fit for purpose as a music show reflecting the trends and taste of youth. So why get in someone who had been kicking around the show for the past 25 years? Appel was 58 at the time of being put in charge of the show! 58! That’s even five tears older than I am now and I am sooo middle aged!Given all of the above, could the new format work work? Did it succeed? Let’s see what happened in the very first show in this new era of TOTP…

Yeah well, straight off the bat I wasn’t keen on the new theme tune which was composed by somebody called Tony Gibber (who?). At least the previous theme tune was written by a bona fide pop star. Tony Gibber sounds like the name of a weatherman on local radio. In all of the online polls I have seen as to the best ever TOTP theme tune, nothing comes close to “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin and certainly not Tony Gibber’s effort! As for the new graphics, it looks like they were trying just a little but too hard to prove that this was the show for the kids and that new dance music they liked by having silhouetted figures dancing in…what was that supposed to be ? A generic warehouse setting seems most likely (it was actually The London Museum of Water & Steam). Meanwhile, the new metallic logo was widely ridiculed as looking like a weather vane.

Once all of that was out of the way, instead of the usual grinning fizzog of the host doing a to camera intro, we get a disembodied voice introducing the first act who are Erasure with their single “Love To Hate You”. I guess it was a solid and sensible choice of act to open the new look TOTP. Vince and Andy were in their imperial phase and the song itself is an upbeat number to help set the mood for the show. Andy seems to have come wearing striped, sleeveless pyjamas but it’s the backing dancers who cause you to gawp the most as they appear to be be dressed as four fortune tellers (possibly called Madame Zelda). Not sure what that was all about but someone should have asked them to look into a crystal ball to ask if this new TOTP format would be a success or not. Definitely a success was “Love To Hate You” which would become one of the duo’s biggest ever hits when it peaked at No 4.

Finally we get to see the new presenters who this week are Tony Dortie and Mark Franklin. Dortie had first been seen on 24-hour cable and satellite television channel Music Box before moving onto work for Children’s BBC on a show called UP2U which I think was meant to be a hip version of Blue Peter. If so, Dortie’s recruitment would tally with the strategy of trying to update the show’s image to be more ‘cool’. Mark Franklin was just 17 at the time of his elevation to national TV having previously worked on BBC Wiltshire Sound. By the end of his time on the show, Franklin would have presented more TOTP episodes than the likes of Bruno Brookes and Mark Goodier but that stint has hardly made him a household name I would argue. Still, they both seemed keen and enthusiastic although neither actually introduce themselves preferring to allow the on screen text below them to tell us their names. Dortie then gives some blather about the show going to reflect the changing trends in the UK music scene before saying something unintelligible about the Top 10. Here come those what Tony? I’ve rewound this a number times and still can’t understand what he’s saying. Being a mumbler is probably not great if you’re a TV presenter!

The Top 10 countdown then appears on our screens with nothing but the new theme tune playing over it. There’s not even any voiceover announcing the songs. It just looks weird. Back in the mid 80s the producers introduced a video Top 10 which played snippets of every song. This is like that but you can’t hear the actual songs! They even just throw away the No 1 reveal within the first five minutes of the show but then it is only Bryan Adams for the 13th week in a row so I guess there wasn’t much of an element of surprise anyway.

Then we’re onto the next act which is again in the new studio and its Voice Of The Beehive with “I Think I Love You”. I’m just putting this out there right now – I always liked this lot. A bit like a poppier B52s. Good songs and an enthusiastic delivery which is exactly what they give here. As markers for what we could expect from the new show, Erasure and Voice Of The Beehive weren’t bad choices at all.

Of course, “I Think I Love You” wasn’t actually a Voice Of The Beehive song and was in fact originally by The Partridge Family. I was just a little bit too young to remember this fictional family group that, like the Monkees before them, went on to have real life pop hits. Their TV show aired between 1970 and 1974 (so when I was between the ages of two and six) but it made a superstar out of David Cassidy who played eldest son Keith. “I Think I Love You” was The Partridge Family’s first hit peaking at No 1 in the US and No 18 over here.

The legacy of the song was strengthened by the reference to it in this clip from the film Four Weddings And A Funeral. A marvellously written speech expertly delivered in Hugh Grant’s characteristic bumbling, self deprecating style…

Although Voice Of The Beehive’s version would peak at a lowly No 25, I think they turn what many might see as a cheesy 70s pop song into a bouncy, jump-around-your-living-room radio friendly hit and it was a great choice of cover for them. Sadly, they would only have one more Top 40 UK hit and the band split after 1996 album “Sex And Misery” failed to chart. They still play the odd reunion gig and have a healthy community of fans on Facebook.

We go into the next studio artist with just a voice over link. As the camera switches stages to the new act you can see him awkwardly clapping along to Voice Of The Beehive. This just isn’t working for me. Is it meant to be seamless? It just looks awkward. That next act is Kenny Thomas or ‘Ke-aaaaarnny Thomas’ as Tony Dortie pronounces his name. Dortie seemed to do this sort of thing a lot as I recall, playing up to his London roots and regularly used phrases like ‘Peace out’, ‘Laterz’ and ‘Respect’. Sometimes he used to mix it up and say ‘Laterz. Much laterz!’. Was he encouraged to do it so as to try and up the show’s hip credentials? I wasn’t a fan.

As for dear old Kenny, “Best Of You” was his third consecutive hit of ’91 and like his first hit “Outstanding”, was actually a cover version. It was written by Booker T. Jones of Booker T. & the M.G.’s back in 1980 but, like “I Think I Love You” / Voice Of The Beehive earlier, it was a pretty good choice of song for Kenny to cover. Not that I liked it of course, I had an irrational dislike of Kenny back then, but the song fitted in with the brand of UK soul he was peddling.

I have since apologised in this blog for my aversion to Kenny as he seems like a very decent guy and has suffered some pretty horrendous stuff in his private life with his four year old daughter being diagnosed with a brain tumour. In the last week, Kenny himself was hospitalised with COVID and was very unwell. Thankfully he has recovered enough to be allowed to return home but he has had to cancel the 30th anniversary tour of the release of his debut album “Voices” as a result. That album was released eleven days after this TOTP performance so no doubt Kenny would have been on the promotional trail this time 30 years ago. Unlike Erasure, Kenny ‘s promotional budget could only afford a lone dancer up there on stage with him and you have to feel sorry for her as she seems to be freestyling desperately. “Best Of You” peaked at No 11.

Remember when TOTP presenters used to occasionally produce incongruous interviews out of nowhere with some of the acts on the show. I can recall The Police and Genesis being asked some truly mindless questions up on the gantry by the likes of Steve Wright for no good reason. Then of course there’s this from 1982. Was Debbie in on the joke or not?

Well, the interviews are back as Mark Franklin takes to the stage himself to chat to the next act who is Belinda Carlisle who is here to perform her new single “Live Your Life Be Free“. Before that though, Franklin starts meandering about how the show can now play any song from the US Top 10 now if it wants to …except they’re not going to as there are no British acts in the US Top 10 that week! WTF?! Why make a big deal of a new feature and then not actually, you know, do the feature? Plus, why did the act in the US chart have to be British? Surely the point was to play something that wasn’t in our charts anyway?! Madness.

Franklin is undeterred though and uses the fact that Belinda is American to shift from the US charts (where she hasn’t had Top 10 hit for three years) to her performance. All we get out of Belinda is the name of her new album (same as the single) and when it’s out. I guess that is the point of her performing on the show in the first place but none of this was really making any sense. Also nonsensical was Belinda’s decision to perform the song whilst wearing what appear to be marigold washing up gloves. To say it’s a live vocal (supposedly), I don’t think Belinda’s notoriously warbly and derided vocals sound too bad.

Oh and whilst we’re talking about promotional tools, check out the guy on guitar in the Monty Python T-shirt. Surely this was a deliberate plant by Virgin to advertise the fact that Monty Python’s “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” song had been released as a single and is in the charts and on the show later. “Live Your Life Be Free” (the single) peaked at No 12.

Next, Tony Dortie emerges from the throng of the studio audience to announce another innovative feature of the new format as he promises us “exclusive videos from all the big stars”. Brilliant! So who’s first then Tony? “Fun Day” by Steve Wonder? Obviously Steve is a legend of music but this song? Never heard of it! Taken from the soundtrack album (all Stevie originals) for Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever, the single peaked at No 63. whilst the album fared little better with a high of No 56 in the UK. Given that Stevie’s last UK hit had been three years earlier (and even that was a duet with Julio Iglesias) and that his reputation had taken a big hit after the colossal turd that was “I Just Called to Say I Love You”, were UK kids that bothered about Stevie’s latest song? I know, I know – his 70s stuff is fantastic but his 80s and 90s work? Maybe it was the Spike Lee connection that made Stanley Appel think it was a good idea. Hip film director making gritty urban movies. That’s giving the kids what they want. I wonder who else will show up in this feature?

The video prompted lots of online comments about the fact that it appears to depict Steve driving a car despite his blindness though none of the tweets I saw had the wherewithal to paraphrase the title of one of his 80s dud singles “Don’t Drive Drunk” to “Don’t Drive Blind”.

Oh God! Mark Franklin is back with another cringeworthy interview. This time his victim is Julian Lennon who is asked about why he wrote eco-anthem “Saltwater”. To be fair, Julian’s answer (“In my view the world has a bit of a problem because of us and I think we need to do something about it”) resonates even more loudly today and had we listened more to what he and others like him were saying 30 years ago, maybe we would be looking at a better world future. After nearly tumbling over his keyboards, Julian gives us a run through of his song which prompted a lot of undeserved ‘he’s just imitating his father’ type comments on Twitter. He can’t help the genetics he was born with. Although not a riveting performance, it does include a nice bit of slide guitar. Not sure he needed all that dry ice though and was that the best way to advertise his green credentials?

Meanwhile, in a BBC office somewhere, a few days before this broadcast:

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: Stanley! How’s the new look TOTP going? Got some good artists booked for the very first show of this exciting new era?

Stanley Appel: Oh yes! We’ve got Erasure and Voice Of The Beehive and Kenny Thomas…

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: OK sounds…erm…good. Who else?

Stanley Appel: Julian Lennon…

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: Not that hippy! Never could stand his farther either!

Stanley Appel: Oh…sorry…but the final act in the studio is a huge name!

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: Excellent! Whitney Houston? Madonna? If the next word that comes out of your mouth is ‘Bros’ I’m not going to be happy Stanley…

Stanley Appel: No, they’re huge I promise! Think Live Aid…

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: Not the f*****g Boomtown Rats?!!

Stanley Appel: No, think about it. We’ve got a brand new show the likes of which the world has never been seen before…just like Live Aid…and who opened Live Aid?

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: The Prince and Princess of Wales?! You’ve got Charles and Diana? Not just pop royalty, the actual Royal Family. That’s amazing Stanley. Unbelievable. Well done!

Stanley Appel: No, it’s Status Quo

*tumbleweed*

Stuffy but very important BBC boss: Tony…YOU’RE FIRED!!!

Status Quo?! STATUS “F*****G QUO?! That’s who Appel decided would be a good act to help relaunch TOTP and convince the nation’s youth that they were still a credible music show reflecting new and emerging trends?! In what universe was that a good decision?! This unfathomable choice is passed off as acceptable by use of a graphic that indicates that the Quo are included on the show as part of the album chart feature (their latest release “Rock ’til You Drop” is at No 10) but I doubt many of the watching audience were buying that – the reason for their inclusion I mean and not the album; clearly some people must have bought the album with it being at No 10 and all.

The band give us a horrible version of that old rhythm and blues standard “Let’s Work Together” made famous by Canned Heat (and later as “Let’s Stick Together” by Bryan Ferry) but just look at them! Francis Rossi is wearing a leather jacket over a collar and tie and jeans with a pair of black leather shoes! It’s just all kinds of wrong. And check out bass player John “Rhino” Edwards’ shaggy hair! Who had hair like that in 1991? Even Tony Dortie’s voice over intro is wrong as he says that the’ve had 25 hit albums but Wikipedia tells me that “Rock ’til You Drop”is their 20th studio album – unless he was including Best Ofs or live albums in that figure? Oh, who cares? This was just dire. In fact, I think the terminally uncool Dire Straits would have been a ‘cooler’ choice than Status Quo. Horrible.

They’ve retained the Breakers section for now but there’s only two acts in it this week as opposed to the four that have been crammed into this feature recently. First off is DJ Carl Cox with “I Want You (Forever)“. I have to admit that I didn’t think of Carl Cox as having hits under his own name but rather as a legendary remixer of other people’s tunes and a ‘superstar DJ’ which is probably why I don’t remember this track at all. That and the fact that I’m not really a dance head anyway so it probably just passed me by completely. As you can imagine, there’s lot of samples included here but I don’t know any of the original tracks so I’m not going to linger around here any longer.

As mentioned earlier, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by Monty Python was in the charts and we all know who was to blame when a novelty record got into the charts around this time. No, not Timmy Mallett (for once) but Radio1 DJ Simon Mayo. Using his breakfast show to promote them, he’d already made unlikely hits out of “Kinky Boots” by Patrick Macnee and Honor Blackman and “Donald Where’s Yer Troosers?” by Andy Stewart and now was at it again.

I can’t recall exactly why the irritating little tit decided he would turn his attention to the closing song from Monty Python’s Life Of Brian but turn it he did and so it came to pass that “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” would finally become a hit. It was originally released as a single to coincide with the film’s opening in 1979 but failed to chart. It was re-released in 1988 to help promote the film’s release on VHS but once again it flopped. Mayo clearly thought he had the golden touch by now and I guess he did when he inspired its re-release by Virgin and it became a No 3 hit. Thinking about it, was it intentional by Mayo to try and launch a campaign to knock Bryan Adams off the top spot and somehow make himself out as ‘the saviour of music’ in his eyes? I wouldn’t put it past the smug git.

Now I love Life Of Brian the film and a school mate taped the soundtrack for me when it first came out but did we need to have its most famous song in the charts in 1991? I don’t think we did. Its renewed popularity has led to it being voted the most popular song to be requested to be played at UK funerals in a 2014 poll by The Co-operative Funeralcare. It has also been taken up as a crowd favourite at sporting events and was sung by Eric Idle at the closing ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics.

We end with the No 1 and it’s still “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” by Bryan Adams. How Stanley Appel must have been hoping and wishing with his whole being that there would be a new No 1 to coincide with new format of TOTP. Out with the old and in with the new and all that. The UK record buying public weren’t having that though and were still purchasing it in massive quantities. Tony Dortie is sat at a drum kit for no discernible reason before Mark Franklin does his intro sat behind Julian Lennon’s keyboards and what an intro. It’s totally non -sensical:

“Now 13 weeks ago, who would have thought 13 weeks later he would still have been No 1 but he is for the 13th week breaking all records it’s Bryan Adams…”

So that’s 13 weeks – got that everyone? That intro doesn’t make any grammatical sense does it?

There’s no play out video only the credits soundtracked by the new theme tune (just like with the Top 10 countdown) but of course there’s always time for a ‘”Laterz!” from Tony Dortie.

So what did we think of the new format? I can’t recall what my opinion was at the time of its original broadcast but watching it back 30 years later, it was a right old shambles.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1ErasureLove To Hate YouNo but I have it on their first Best Of Pop!
2Voice Of The BeehiveI Think I Love YouLiked it, didn’t buy it
3Kenny ThomasBest Of YouObviously not
4Belinda CarlisleLive Your Live Be FreeNope
5Steve WonderFun DayNo
6Julian Lennon SaltwaterSee 2 above
7Status QuoLet’s Work TogetherF**k right off!
8DJ Carl CoxI Want You (Forever)Not my bag at all
9Monty PythonAlways Look On The Bright Side of LifeNegative
10Bryan Adams(Everything I Do) I Do It for YouI did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0010k2p/top-of-the-pops-03101991