TOTP 09 AUG 1996

I’m looking at the running order for this episode of TOTP from 1996 in the hope that I’ll spot a trend that will give me a foothold for a theme for this post but as usual it’s all over the place. In the latest edition of Classic Pop magazine, feature writer Ian Peel wrote:

But there’s one thing Classic Pop has never talked about or will ever talk about. And that’s ‘80s music’. Because there’s no such thing. There’s music from the 80s but it’s an era not a genre.

Anthem Publishing, 2024

Could the same not be said of the 90s? Sure, there were definite movements and trends like Britpop, Eurodance and the whole ‘Madchester’ thing just as the 80s had New Romantics, acid house music and Stock, Aitken and Waterman. However, these were transient and didn’t account for the whole of the decade’s tastes. They were a component part not the whole entity. Sometimes they would morph into something else or in the case of the dance music explosion, splinter into multiple sub genres. As for myself, I have, on occasion, been labelled as an “80s music fan” but that term is spurious – there’s plenty of music from the 80s I can’t stand and would never listen to. I like some but not all music that happened to be made in the 80s would be a more accurate description but I guess that’s a bit of a mouthful to be fair. Anyway, back to my original point which was that there are all sorts of music types represented in this show so I’ll just have to proceed with an open mind and call it as I see/hear it and see some sort of narrative emerges to glue it all together. One constant throughout the entirety of every show is, of course, the host and tonight’s is…oh god, it’s Peter Andre! He’d only been a thing for five minutes by this point – how did he get this gig so early on? Well, got it he has done let’s see how he did…

His first job is to introduce a reactivated New Edition who he claims are one of his all time favourite R&B groups before referring to them as ‘The Dream Team’. Hmm. Seems a bit over the top for a band whose best known song in this country is the bubblegum pop of “Candy Girl”. But then maybe Andre wasn’t aware of his R&B faves’ past? What was he doing in 1983 when “Candy Girl” was at No 1 in the UK.

*checks Wikipedia*

He was 10 years old and living in Australia having emigrated there with his family in 1979. Was “Candy Girl” even a hit down under?

*checks Wikipedia again*

Yes, it made No 10 in the Aussie chart so it’s certainly possible that Andre was aware of the song. In his defence, by the time he was a teenager and presumably his musical tastes more established and embedded, New Edition were recording an album with legendary R&B producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis so that may well have informed his opinion of them. Having said that, “Hit Me Off” was their first new material released since 1988 and the album before that had been a collection of doo-wop covers so that does rather undermine Andre’s claims. Why am I analysing the authenticity of Peter Andre’s music tastes? Sad as it is, I’d rather do that than write about New Edition’s 1996 comeback. “Hit Me Off”? Turn me off more like.

Another boy band next but one from our own shores. Unlike the squeaky clean New Kids On The Block who were created by ex-New Edition manager Maurice Starr to be “the white New Edition”, East 17 could never be described as beyond reproach or without vice. Whether it be interviews advocating drug use or their urban, grubby image, they were not your standard 90s boy band. It didn’t stop them selling records though, 10 million albums since their first hit back in 1992 according to Peter Andre in his intro. Is that true? 10 million?! Seems like a lot but who are we to doubt the word of a man who renewed his vows to then wife Katie Price in 2008 and ended up divorcing her 12 months later.

Anyway, “Someone To Love” was the fourteenth consecutive hit single for East 17 though by peaking at No 16, became their smallest since their second “Gold” stalled at No 28. Was the writing on the wall for the band’s future? I think it was. 1996 would turn out to be a bit of a swansong with a double platinum selling greatest hits compilation and a No 2 hit with Gabrielle. However, by 1997, first singer Brian Harvey was sacked and then songwriter Tony Mortimer left the band. There was a brief flurry of success in 1998 with Harvey reinstated and a hit single in “Each Time” but it was only delaying the inevitable. Had the band themselves realised that continued success couldn’t be taken for granted as early as 1995 and the recording of third album “Up All Night” and tried to push a new direction for themselves? “Someone To Love” is a passable gentle ballad with an acoustic guitar rhythm augmented by a sympathetic string section and Harvey’s plaintive vocals supported by some considered backing singing by his band mates. It’s actually quite a nice song and not typical of their normal output. Yes, their most famous song “Stay Another Day” was a ballad as well but that was a huge number with everything including sleigh bells thrown at it. “Someone To Love” had much more of a lilting nature. Rather sadly, in both meanings of the word, as of 2024, Terry Coldwell is the only original band member still with the group.

Next up, a song that set a new record at the time for the most plays on radio in one week. “Good Enough” by Dodgy racked up approximately 3,700 plays on national radio in seven days helping it rise to a peak of No 4 on the UK Top 40. By far the band’s biggest hit it is also, thanks to all that airplay, surely their best known as well. As far as I can tell though, it wasn’t the most played track on radio for the entire of 1996. That honour went to Mark Morrison’s “Return Of The Mack” though “Good Enough” did come in at No 8. Of those seven songs above it, only Pulp’s “Disco 2000” and “Give Me A Little More Time” by Gabrielle peaked lower in the charts than Dodgy with three of those above it being No 1 records. Not bad then for a band who had never had a Top 10 hit prior to this.

“Good Enough” wasn’t typical Dodgy fare though. An out and out pop song as opposed to an indie rock track, it felt like a deliberate attempt to write a huge hit but having read an interview with its composer Nigel Clark on its creation, it does sound like it came about organically. Messing around with an Akai S900, a very early sampler, Clark put a Lee Dorsey drumbeat on a loop and grew the track from there. Inspired by listening to Bob Marley’s “Kaya” album, he wanted it to be an upbeat track though he worried about demoing it to the rest of the band. However, their reaction was positive and after laying it down in the studio, Clark recalled thinking that “Good Enough” would last longer than Dodgy would. He was right. Thankfully though, I think their legacy is more than just that one track though – they were/are a band not a song, a fate which has befallen other artists like 4 Non Blondes who found it hard to escape the trappings of their mega hit “What’s Up?”.

The timing of its release to coincide with the Summer was perfect and surely deliberate; the single’s artwork was just a shot of a sunflower – they knew what they were doing. I think at Our Price where I was working, we had a pin badge with said sunflower on it to give away free with the single. The success of “Good Enough” would propel parent album “Free Peace Sweet” to platinum sales of 300,000 units. Pretty good going for a band derided by some as a Britpop also ran.

I’ve used the phrase “musical curiosity” or “curious musical footnote” many times whilst writing this blog – perhaps I’ve overused it but I really should have reserved it for this next hit. Anybody remember “Hanging Around” by Me Me Me? It must have passed me by despite the involvement of one of my favourite pop people ever that is Stephen Duffy. I’m not sure if his presence alongside Blur’s Alex James and Justin Welch from Elastica really qualifies as a ‘supergroup’ – probably more of a collective but it was very short lived either way. This single was their only release with the whole project only generating three tracks in total. The concept wasn’t even conceived to secure a hit single but rather as the soundtrack to a film made by artist Damien Hirst which was made for the Spellbound exhibition at the Hayward Gallery within the Southbank Centre. The film was only screened at the exhibition and once on national television at 11.50 at night.

Given that niche exposure, its peak of No 19 seems rather like a case of overachievement. Or perhaps its chart performance was down to it actually being good? Heh. Don’t be so naive I hear you shout and you’re right. When has quality been anything to do with popularity? In all fairness, there wasn’t much quality to “Hanging Around”. There wasn’t much of anything to it. A few random phrases picked because they rhymed set against a jaunty, Madness-lite tune that would have been discarded at the demo stage when it came to making the cut for a Blur album. What a waste! Stephen Duffy has a back catalogue of some incredibly affecting and crafted pop music but this…this was pure hokum. I can only assume some record label marketing and dubious ‘selling in’ practices got it into the charts at all. “Hanging around”? Nah, it was just angin’.

Although this next track topped the American charts for eight weeks, I can’t recall it being in our charts. However, most unfortunately, I do remember only too well a cover of it going to No 1 in the UK six years later. “Tha’ Crossroads” by Bone ThugsnHarmony was written as a tribute to a number of people close to the hip-hop group who had died recently including the rapper and their mentor Eazy-E.

The members of the group were:

  • Bizzy Bone
  • Flesh-n-Bone
  • Krayzie Bone
  • Layzie Bone
  • Wish Bone

That list reminds me of a reality tv series called Tool Academy the premise of which was to take twelve unsuspecting ‘bad boyfriends’ and send them to a ‘relationship boot camp’ to teach them how to be better partners. The boyfriends were given nicknames such as ‘Massive Tool’, ‘Temper Tool’, ‘Stoner Tool’, ‘Jealous Tool’ and ‘Neander Tool’. Anyway, want to know the real names of the ‘Bones’? Here you go:

  • Bryon
  • Stanley
  • Anthony
  • Steven
  • Charles

Heh. As hip-hop tracks go, “Tha’ Crossroads” was a little unusual with an almost gospel feel to the chorus and it was all the better for that. However, the version by Blazin’ Squad in 2002 which was retitled “Crossroads”…what on earth was going on there? I’m guessing that this lot weren’t taken seriously at the time? Certainly watching them back over 20 years later they look staggeringly ludicrous. The fact that there’s so many of them for a start undermines any credibility for me and the there’s their horribly hackneyed hip-hop posturing, all that throwing their arms about and the Ali G hand gestures. Someone from their management really should have had a word with them. One of their number appeared on Celebrity Big Brother and another ended up on Love Island. Says it all really.

Suede are back in the TOTP studio after doing an exclusive performance the other week having crashed into the charts at No 3 with “Trash”. I said in a previous post that I’d caught them live in Blackburn in early 1997 so I looked that gig on the Setlist FM website and can report it was a 14 song strong set of which, rather predictably, 10 came from latest album “Coming Up” – basically the whole album. The only tracks not taken from it were “The 2 Of Us” and “The Wild Ones” from “Dog Man Star” and “So Young” and “Animal Nitrate” from their eponymous debut album. I think I might have been ever so slightly disappointed that they didn’t do “The Drowners” and “Metal Mickey” as well.

Peter Andre says of them in his intro “here’s Suede at their most Suede”. Was that meant to be a play on words? If so, it didn’t match up to my mate Robin who once wrote me a letter (remember those!) informing me he’d been to see Suede at a very early gig when the music press were going crazy for them. His three word review? “Suede. I wasn’t”.

The UK really had a weakness for Michael Jackson in the 90s. By this point in the decade he’d accumulated thirteen hit singles over here including three No 1s and two No 2s. In addition, all three albums he released topped the charts. But it wasn’t just him that was the object of the nation’s affections – anybody related to him was also on our radar. The recently passed away Tito Jackson’s offspring benefited from the UK’s devotion to all things and people Jacko to the tune of five hit singles as 3T including this one “Why?”. There was no chance of us giving this one a miss what the King of Pop himself appearing on it alongside his nephews.

I’m surprised he deigned to be officially credited on it and didn’t just give it to them free of charge as it were given what a dreary, lamentable track it is. And don’t get me started on its lyrics. It’s very first two lines are;

Why does Monday come before Tuesday? Why do Summers start in June?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Annie Lennox
Why? lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Boobie And Dj Songs, Inc.

Give me a break! The song sticks with this theme as a few lines later we get:

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday? Why do flowers come in May?

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Annie Lennox
Why? lyrics © La Lennoxa Music Co. Ltd., Boobie And Dj Songs, Inc.

What?! The point Jackson was trying to make in a very laboured way was ‘why do we let ourselves fall in love if that love doesn’t last?’. Not sure what that has to do with days of the week or the seasons to be honest. Look, if you want to listen to a song called “Why” then try this one:

For the third week running, we have Robbie Williams on the show with “Freedom”. Wow! TOTP was really getting behind the launch of his solo career weren’t they? Perhaps executive producer Ric Blaxill could see something the rest of us were struggling to, namely that this guy was going to have the kind of longevity that most artists can only dream of. Robbie looks a bit disheveled in this performance though, as if he’s just wandered onto the stage direct from an all night bender. Maybe he did get a couple of hours sleep judging by the ‘ski slope’ bit of hair on the back of his head that you get if you slept in an awkward position that’s a bugger to get to behave. He’ll have eight months to sort it out though as we won’t be seeing him on the show again until his next single “Old Before I Die” is released the following April.

It’s a third week at No 1 for the Spice Girls. In 2014, a study by the University of Amsterdam and Manchester’s Museum of Science and Industry found that “Wannabe” was the catchiest song of all time in that it is the most easily recognisable. In an experiment of 12,000 participants who were asked if they knew songs from a random sample of 1,000 of the most popular songs since the 1940s, the quickest to be recognised was “Wannabe” in 2.29 seconds. Second was “Mambo No 5” and third was “Eye Of The Tiger”. Hmm. Well, the Survivor hit has that very distinctive guitar riff intro with the chord changes designed to match the punches in the boxing scenes from Rocky III so that’s understandable. “Wannabe” starts with Mel B’s laugh and then is straight into the “Well, I’ll tell you what I want” hook so I get that but Lou Bega? He literally just says “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No 5”! Of course people were quick to identify it!

So how did Peter Andre do as host? I have to grudgingly admit he was alright actually. Nothing too embarrassing, didn’t get his six pack out and didn’t stumble over his lines. His last job is to introduce the play out video which is “Love Sensation” by 911. Of all the 90s bands, this lot were one of the most unlikely. Lead singer Lee Brennan was your typical pretty boy but the other two? They looked like nightclub bouncers. Apparently, they met as dancers on late night, cult viewing music show The Hitman And Her and decided to form a band. Weren’t Take That’s Jason Orange and Howard Donald also dancers on the show? Anyway, despite the odds, having joined forces with Brennan, they somehow managed to score 13 UK hit singles including a No 1. Many of them were cover versions of the likes of Shalamar, Dr. Hook and the Bee Gees. This No 21 hit was all their own work though but is so lightweight as to hardly exist at all.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1New EditionHit Me OffI did not
2East 17Someone To LoveNegative
3DodgyGood EnoughNo but my wife had their Free Peace Sweet album
4Me Me MeHanging AroundNo No No
5Bone Thugs-n-HarmonyTha’ CrossroadsNope
6SuedeTrashNo but I had their Coming Up album
73T / Michael JacksonWhy?What? Of course not
8Robbie WilliamsFreedomNah
9Spice GirlsWannabeNo
10911Love SensationNever

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00fsvcz/top-of-the-pops-09081996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 26 JUL 1996

It’s the Summer of 1996 and the Olympic Games are being held in Atlanta, Georgia. For Team GB though, it was a games to forget as we endured our worst performance since 1952 with just one gold and only 15 in total. Lack of sufficient funding was identified as a major issue – cyclist Chris Boardman had to resort to practicing in his bathroom with the shower turned on in an attempt to create the humidity conditions of Atlanta for acclimatisation training. In a rare moment of celebration, the day after this TOTP aired, that single gold medal was won by rowers Matthew Pinsent and Steve Redgrave in the Men’s Coxless Pair. Meanwhile, in this week’s show, there seemed to be no shortage of cocks but sadly, like Team GB, hardly any gold standard performers. Where were Shed Seven and Gene when you needed them?*

*See what I did there? “Going For Gold”? “Olympian”? No? Oh well, it’s the taking part that’s important not winning so they say.

Bit of admin before we get going. Tonight’s host is Lisa I’Anson and we start with another to camera piece featuring the latest winner of the meet and greet competition who is in Hollywood with New Edition. The first act in the studio though is Pato Banton & The Reggae Revolution. What the guy who had a No 1 with his version of “Baby Come Back” in 1994? That guy was still having hits two years later using the same formula of reggae-fying old pop hits?! That guy?! The very same but his take on the 1967 hit “Groovin’” would be his last UK chart entry. He never got close to repeating his chart topping feat with this one peaking at No 14. He did like a collab as the kids say though – two with Sting (who seems to have a weakness for this type of artist seeing as he’s also teamed up with Shaggy), one with Ranking Roger and now this one with The Reggae Revolution. Who were they? I can’t find out much about them though I did note one of their members is called David Forskins. Stop sniggering at the back – he’s a drummer. Skins? Drum skins? Geddit? What? It was me that mentioned members? Oh, you young rascals!

Next up is Mark Morrison and for once he’s not singing “Return Of The Mack”. No, he’s finally got round to releasing a follow up single or should I say rereleasing as “Crazy” had been out before, making No 19 in 1995. Morrison doesn’t tamper with the formula much with it basically being “Return Of The Mack II”. I did notice though that the lyrics have Morrison claiming “I went to Number One (like a bomb)” presumably referring to his recent chart topper so my question is, were those the lyrics when “Crazy” was originally released before ROTM went to No 1 or did Morrison rewrite them after the event? If it’s the former, he was either very lucky or very arrogant. Either way, he then bangs on about girls “trippin’” on him since he got famous which apparently means acting crazy and is a word he seems very keen on as it was also the title of his next single. The two after that were called “Horny” and “Moan & Groan” – he was a classy fella our Mark.

He’s got a rapper in to help with the flow on this one and his name is Daddy Wattsie. When I was at polytechnic back in the 80s, I knew someone with the surname Watts who insisted on people calling him ‘Wattsie’. He was a bit of a knob and I’m not sure about Daddy Wattsie either. Had I not had the subtitles on iPlayer, I wouldn’t have had a clue what he was going on about (which is some nonsense about hip-hop ragamuffin DJs or something). Meanwhile, Morrison is singing about “doggin’” (that got past the censor) and then blatantly pinches Bobby Brown’s shtick by harping on about his prerogative. It’s all rather unpleasant and Morrison tops it off when he whips out his trademark handcuffs. Well, he had to keep up his ‘king of the cuffs’ moniker that Lisa I’Anson gave him in her intro I suppose. It’s hardly the same as being known as an Olympic champion though is it?

This next track should come with a health warning – it used to come close to giving me panic attacks. There was something about “Higher State Of Consciousness” by Josh Wink that would scratch at my nerve ends. It made me feel claustrophobic and like I just needed to escape from its sonic reach every time I heard it. Was it something to do with its frequency, its bpm, all its little bleeps, breaks and bass (to quote the title of an old dance compilation series)? Or was it that it sounded to me like a car alarm going off? Whatever it was about it that disturbed me so, what was even worse was that I foolishly let my record shop colleagues know about its effect upon me and they would mercilessly play it when I was on the shop floor.

Not content with giving me the jitters for five weeks in Autumn 1995 (the length it spent inside the Top 40), Josh Wink – a DJ, producer and remixer from Philadelphia (real name Joshua Winkelman) – decided to double down on my uneasiness by rereleasing it less than a year later under the shortened name of Wink. I mean, why? It had already been massive in the clubs of Europe and a No 8 hit in the UK on first release so why put it out again? Ah, well – it was all about the remixes wasn’t it? “Higher State Of Consciousness 96 Remixes” included a version by Dex and Jonesey (whoever they were) which deemed it worthy of another push at the charts. It succeeded as well peaking one place higher than its 1995 predecessor. Pass the paracetamol!

The first of two songs on this show that I will always associate with each other. Not for any musical reasons but purely because they formed an end panel display in the Our Price store where I was working at the time. In fairness, they were also both comeback singles of a sort. The first one is from Suede who released their first new material for nearly two years with “Trash” , the lead single from their third studio album “Coming Up”. It was also the first new material written without Bernard Butler who had left the band after the “Dog Man Star” album so there was a lot riding on this song. Would the absence of Butler prove to be insurmountable for the band? Or would his replacement Richard Oakes prove to be a just as gifted songwriter? History shows us that it was the latter scenario that played out. “Coming Up” would become Suede’s biggest selling album going platinum in the process. It generated five Top 10 singles with “Trash” itself the biggest of those and Suede’s joint highest charting hit ever when it peaked at No 3. You could hear why. It was a great tune displaying a much bigger pop sensibility than anything on “Dog Man Star”. Apparently, it was a deliberate choice by Brett Anderson to go down that route after the downturn in sales experienced by their 1994 album. Although, defiantly more ebullient, “Trash” also retained the band’s edge. This was angular pop with Brett singing about being “litter on the breeze”. It worked and it worked well.

Obviously the band toured the album and I caught them in Blackburn with my mate Steve in February of 1997. They were supported by Mansun who would release their excellent debut album “Attack Of The Grey Lantern” two days later but that’s all for a future post. For now, Suede were back and how. They’d survived the fallout from Bernard Butler’s departure and added to their ranks in the aforementioned Richard Oakes and keyboard player Neil Codling (who Lisa I’Anson rather fawned over in her intro). Britpop may have seemed to have washed them away but they had surfaced from the depths and were riding their own wave and not the zeitgeist.

Although mostly overshadowed by her 60s career and subsequent rise from the ashes in the 80s, Tina Turner was remarkably consistent in the 90s. I’m not talking gold medal standard here (most of it wouldn’t even make the medal podium) but she was certainly a qualifier for the final. She achieved 18 Top 40 hits in the UK during the decade albeit that most of them were distinctly medium sized with only four making the Top 10. The fifteenth of those hits was her cover of the soft rock classic “Missing You”. The third single to be lifted from her “Wildest Dreams” album, this was a stinker from start to finish. The 1984 John Waite original had always been a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine but Tina’s rendition is simply the worst. It just doesn’t suit her growly vocal and overblown delivery. Whoever made the decision for Tina to record should have been disqualified. I was surprised to learn that Trevor Horn produced it because the backing sounds all tinny and hollow. There’s even a sound in there that is reminiscent of that ‘boing’ effect you get from a mouth harp. Just horrible. Let’s move on quickly…

I’m still not convinced by this meet and greet competition. I mean, the locations are great – so far we’ve had the likes of Madrid and now Hollywood – but the pop stars involved don’t strike me as stellar. After Shampoo the other week, this time we’ve got New Edition. That’s New Edition of “Candy Girl” fame from 1983. That’s 1983! Since then, despite continued success in the US, they’d scored just one more hit single in the UK with “Mr. Telephone Man” from 1985. Sure, after the group split in 1988, all the members went on to solo success (or trio success in the case of Bell Biv DeVoe) especially Bobby Brown but when they reformed in 1996, would they have been seen as a huge name? I guess what I’m saying is would the competition winner have been blown away by meeting them? I’m not so sure. Had TOTP been an American TV show, maybe the chance to hangout with New Edition would have been a huge deal – after all the 1996 version of the group scored a huge hit in comeback album “Home Again” which sold two million copies in the US and went to No 1. It wasn’t the same level of success over here though. The album stalled at No 22 whilst it’s lead single “Hit Me Off” peaked at No 20 (it was an R&B chart topper and No 3 hit on the Billboard chart over the pond). I suppose we just weren’t as invested in the group here – we didn’t have that level of connection with them.

Anyway, the performance here is from the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios, Hollywood which explains why there is a huge crash of water behind them every now and again as the log flume ride splashes down. By the way, if you’re thinking that there seem to be more members of New Edition than you remember, don’t worry. You’re not losing it. There were five in the original line up but there are six here as both Bobby Brown and the guy who replaced him – Johnny Gill – are both featured. As for their song, it sounds like every other R&B song from this era with them singing about spending “an hour in the shower when it’s nice and wet”. If only they had misjudged the staging of this performance even slightly then maybe that log flume ride would have made their desire to be soaking come true.

Who remembers Joyrider? Not me for one. As Lisa I’Anson tells us in her intro, they were from Portadown, Northern Ireland and this was their big moment. One solitary week in the UK Top 40 and a TOTP appearance. They can’t gave thought this would be it for them surely but it pretty much was. Their single fell out of the charts despite this exposure and the follow up peaked at No 54. They did release an album but initial pressings didn’t include their only hit – a rock cover of Jane Wiedlin’s “Rush Hour” – which seems like a massive oversight though I believe it was reissued with it as included at a later date.

Listening back to this frenetic, high speed run through of one of the finest pop records of the 80s, the first question that comes to mind is ‘Why?’. Maybe their label desperately needed them to have a hit and we all know which position to assume in that scenario and, after all, such a tactic had worked for Gun a couple of years earlier when they gave Cameo’s “Word Up” the rock guitar treatment. Then there’s California rockers Redd Kross who did a brilliant job on “Yesterday Once More” for a Carpenters tribute album offering more proof that songs from one music genre could work in that of another given the right choice and treatments but something about Joyrider’s example of this just didn’t click for me. I think it’s that the pop brilliance of the original just can’t be beaten so any attempt at doing something different with it was doomed to failure if indeed you can call a No 22 peaking single a failure. What I can say with some certainty is that we won’t be seeing Joyrider on TOTP ever again.

And so to that other single that was on the end panel in Our Price alongside Suede that week. Just as Gary Barlow was toppled by the Spice Girls, here came another chart adversary but this one was much closer to home and with a much deadlier rivalry. Since leaving Take That in 1995, – labelling Barlow a “clueless wanker” as his parting shot across the bows as he went – the only time we’d seen anything of Robbie Williams was in the tabloids being out of it on another bender. His much hinted at solo career seemed to be taking an age to appear*

*I assume there were some record company legalities to be sorted before he could officially extricate himself from Take That’s label RCA and therefore release anything? His choice of song to cover for his debut single certainly suggested so and indeed, he signed to Chrysalis Records ultimately.

Finally, there was something with his name on it that you could buy in the shops when “Freedom” came out. His version of George Michael’s “Freedom 90” though seemed fairly redundant to me. It was a pure copy of the original with only Robbie’s trademark gurning vocals any sort of differential. What I found really revealing though was that the extra tracks on the CD singles were just remixes of “Freedom” and an interview with Williams in two parts. I recall saying to an Our Price colleague how pathetic this seemed and asking where his songs were. I was convinced at this point that he was doomed to fail as a solo artist. Within a year, Williams would meet Guy Chambers (ex of the wonderful Lemon Trees) who would answer my question about where his songs were and after a couple of false starts, Robbie would become a superstar. I watched a documentary about him on Netflix recently and although I had anticipated it portraying him as all self indulgent and woe is me, he was actually brutally honest about what a f**k up he was/is. In July ‘96 though, I for one thought I had him all figured out and had proclaimed sentence on him. I was wrong. Very wrong.

The Spice Girls have gone to No 1 with “Wannabe” and in so doing, become the first all female group to top the UK charts since The Bangles in 1989 with “Eternal Flame”. Perhaps more significantly, they were the first UK all female group to do so ever. This really did feel like a changing of the guard moment with the deposed former No 1 artist having been a member of the recently defunct biggest boy band in the UK. The Spice Girls were here to wash all them and all the pretty boys that followed in their wake away – it was time for ‘girl power’.

Like last week, the group are still in Japan but this time we get to see them at night in an oriental garden. Interestingly, they subvert the usual model of performance by running across bridges whilst miming before eventually lining up together to knock out some loosely choreographed dance moves. Obviously, we also get Sporty Spice doing her back flips. In another life she was surely an Olympic gymnast*.

*She has completed the London Triathlon twice.

The play out video is “Mysterious Girl” by Peter Andre which is still in and around the top end of the charts. Thankfully we only get a few seconds of the repugnant Andre and his cartoonish six pack. Apparently, his 16 years old son Junior wants to follow in his Dad’s footsteps and become a pop star – he is already signed to Columbia Records. As if there aren’t enough problems in the world along comes a dynasty of Andres making music. There really should be a law against it.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Pato Banton & The Reggae RevolutionGroovin’Nah
2Mark MorrisonCrazyNo
3WinkHigher State Of Consciousness 96 RemixesHell no!
4SuedeTrashNo but I had their Coming Up album
5Tina TurnerMissing YouNever
6New EditionHit Me OffNope
7JoyriderRush HourI did not
8Robbie WilliamsFreedomNegative
9Spice GirlsWannabeNot likely
10Peter AndreMysterious GirlAre you crazy?!

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00fsvcm/top-of-the-pops-26071996?seriesId=unsliced