No, no, no, no, NO! Not Simon Mayo again! I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t deal with his smugness and tone deaf belief against all perceivable reality that he is somehow funny and entertaining. I can’t talk about every cringeworthy line he utters in this show – it’ll break me. Just know that he was as unfunny as ever. Jarvis Cocker had it right at the end of last week’s show when the guest presenter wrapped up his stint by saying “Try and watch next week, Simon Mayo will be presenting though”. He might as well have said “Try and watch next week, Simon Mayo will be presenting though so, you know, you’ll have to put up with that gobshite”. I’ll say no more about him…in this post anyway.

I also don’t have much to say about the opening act who are Snap! and are on the show for the third time with their single “Welcome To Tomorrow (Are You Ready?)”, hence why I’ve run out of any meaningful comment on them. What I have said before is that I didn’t mind the Turbo B-less version of the group and preferred this lighter sound that the new line up had brought with it. What I wasn’t sure about though was the staging of this TOTP performance. It looked like every expense had been spared when it came to the set. What is that backdrop meant to be depicting? Some sort of strange new world or planet? Was that an attempt at making a connection (however remote) with the song title? And then what the hell was that computer graphic of a moving target glitter ball all about? It all looked amateurish and crap frankly. Even Simon Mayo’s remark about it afterwards is justified but I’m not talking about him so I couldn’t possibly comment about his…erm…comment. The cumulative effect is that it reduced an act who had already scored two memorable UK No 1s that decade so far to looking like Eurodance also rans. If rhythm was a dancer, you had to be serious about it didn’t you?

You know that thing where an artist is so well known for just one song that it almost comes as a surprise that they ever released anything else? I think we might have another example of it in China Black. During the Summer of 1994, “Searching” had been such a big hit for this duo (7 weeks in the Top 20, 13 in the Top 40) that it was always going to be a struggle to follow it up. Follow it up they did though with a track called “Stars” that stuck to the template of its predecessor so closely that if it had been a race, you would have needed a photo finish to distinguish between the runners. Some more reggae influenced, radio friendly pop music? Certainly – we’ve got lots of that in stock. “Stars” though couldn’t replicate the success of “Searching” when it peaked at No 19. They did manage two further chart hits in 1995 but neither got near to breaching the Top 10.

*Other examples include The Boo Radleys, Aqua and Doctor And The Medics who all had further chart hits but which were overshadowed by “Wake Up Boo!”, “Barbie Girl” and “Spirit In The Sky” respectively.

I’ve said before here and in my 80s blog that I never really caught the boat going to Pink Floyd island. I mean, I can appreciate the majestic aural landscapes of “Dark Side Of The Moon” and the video for “Another Brick In The Wall” was a (scary) part of my childhood but they always seemed a bit over indulgent and that they were posh boys noodling to me. By 1994, my opinion hadn’t changed that much and certainly hadn’t been affected by the release of “The Division Bell” album. However, it did give them something that they were not renowned for – two consecutive Top 40 singles. After Runrig soundalike tune “Take It Back” had charted earlier in the year, “High Hopes” would meet its title by securing a chart peak of No 26.

Nothing to do with that song about ants and rubber tree plants popularised by Frank Sinatra, this was a mournful, heavy density rock ballad that spoke of the band’s days growing up in Cambridge when things all seemed much simpler. Now I can appreciate that sentiment much more now as a middle-aged man of 55 than I could as a 26 year old back in 1994 – hell, this blog is all about nostalgia – but it still sounds too doom laden to me. Built around a constant ringing church bell (the clanging chimes of doom anyone?), it’s very epic and cinematic (I can imagine it working well in a film) but I couldn’t listen to it over and over I don’t think. It would be the last new material released by the band for 20 years.

My resistance to berating Simon Mayo has lasted three songs because I can’t let this one go. After the Pink Floyd video finishes, he glibly announces “And that’s Pink Floyd who are currently on tour with The Scaffold as support but then you probably knew that”. What was he on about? He was referring to a near tragedy that happened on the first night of 14 dates played by the band at Earl’s Court. Early in the concert, a scaffolding stand (block 9) holding 1,200 fans collapsed throwing hundreds of people 20 feet to the ground. 96 were injured with 36 needing hospital treatment. And that was considered a suitable topic by Mayo for a throwaway line that he clearly thought showed how clever he was. A total and utter bellend.

Another of those artists now that could be added to that list of acts who are so well known for one hit that you forgot they released anything else. Rozalla burst onto the scene in 1991 with “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)” but could you name any of her other songs? I couldn’t and I’ve probably written about them in this blog! Anyway, this one was called “You Never Love The Same Way Twice”. The music press at the time saw this as a return to form for Rozalla after a couple of previous missteps but it sounds rather lacklustre and uneventful to me. She seemed to have restyled herself as Gabrielle at this point with her short hair stuck flat to her head. I guess she never had the same hairstyle twice.

Sting is back in the studio for a performance of his “When We Dance” single. A new track to promote his Best Of album, it would be his biggest ever solo hit peaking at No 9. He’s on the double bass this week bringing back memories of that video for “Every Breath You Take”:

As ever, there’s a story behind its appearance and also as ever, @TOTPFacts has the details:

Sting would return with the second new track called “This Cowboy Song” to support that Best Of album in the new year and it featured this week’s No 1 artist. He went on to release a further two studio albums by the end of the decade bringing the number he recorded in the 90s to four. Whatever you think about him, you can’t deny he’s prolific.

Seriously?! A third outing for the Niagara Falls performance of “Always” by Bon Jovi?! In the show’s defence, the single was experiencing a resurgence of sales and was going back up the charts. It had already peaked at No 2 once and dropped down a couple of places but had just moved from No 4 to No 3 this week on its way to a second peak of No 2 where it stayed for a further two weeks. That’s an awful lot of number twos! Ahem.

There’s actually a Bon Jovi tribute act called Bon Jovi Always but then there’s also, confusingly, one called Always Bon Jovi. Hmm. Then there’s Bon Giovi, The Bon Jovi Experience, Born Jovi and Non Jovi. I think my favourite though is Wrong Jovi which might appeal to my friend Robin, who, on hearing the news that my son had discovered the song “Livin’ On A Prayer” and liked it, said that this was like pissing from the top of a multi-story car park – wrong on so many levels.

After being less than impressed with the line up so far in tonight’s show, here’s somebody interesting at last. I didn’t pick up on Green Day immediately but I probably should have. A US punk three piece but who also knew about melody, I’d completely missed their major label debut album “Dookie” when it was released in the February of 1994. I think I first became aware of them in the August when I had to cover at the Our Price store in Rochdale where I used to work and an ex-colleague of mine called Emma said to me “Haven’t you heard the Green Day album? Don’t you know Basket Case?”. I hadn’t and I didn’t. Emma was into quite extreme stuff like the Riot grrrl movement and industrial artists like Meat Beat Manifesto so I assumed Green Day might be similar but I was completely wrong. And yet I ignored them for quite some time until “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” which was a song so brilliant that it was un-ignorable. Back in 1994 though, “Welcome To Paradise” was a No 20 hit and initially appeared on their independently released 1991 album “Kerplunk” but was re-recorded for “Dookie” and it races along convincingly and knocks everything else on the show into a cocked hat. For me though, their 2004 album “American Idiot” is their pinnacle; indeed so huge was it that it outgrew the album format and morphed into a musical. The band’s legacy includes 90 million record sales worldwide, 20 Grammy nominations (5 of which were won) and being voted as the best punk rock band of all time by Rolling Stone magazine.

I used to work with someone in York who was completely obsessed with lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong or, more accurately his looks. The only look I’m going to comment on though is the classic three person band line up of guitar, bass and drums that Green Day had which gives me a fond memory of The Jam. They’ve been acknowledged as having influenced the likes of Fall Out Boy, Sum 41 and Blink-182 though I think I would add Northern Irish punk rockers Ash to that list.

It’s time for the album chart feature now but as with many a track that is showcased in this slot, it would ultimately end up being released as a single and will be appear on a future TOTP down the line. This week’s incumbent is “Let It Rain” by East 17 from the album “Steam”. Despite not matching the chart topping status of their debut “Walthamstow”, “Steam” actually sold twice the amount of copies of its predecessor. I guess the power of a Christmas No 1 shouldn’t be underestimated.

We’re getting ahead of ourselves though (mind you so were East 17). For now, “Steam” had only been out for a couple of weeks but qualified for a spot on TOTP by being at No 4 in the album chart. However, instead of highlighting “Stay Another Day” (their label London Records must have known they would be releasing it for the Christmas market shortly), “Let It Rain” was chosen and it would eventually be released as a single as the follow up to its more famous chart topper. It’s not one of their best by any standard. The intro by Tony Mortimer is quite something though triggering memories of The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown’s “Fire” or maybe Spinal Tap’s “Stonehenge” even.

It’s Sting’s mate Pato Banton now and he’s the new No 1 after deposing Take That after just two weeks. However, he advises Mayo in a pre-song chat that he can’t perform “Baby Come Back” as Robin and Ali Campbell (or the ‘UB guys’ as Pato refers to them) aren’t available so it’s the promo video again this week. It’s split into colour and black and white sections with the latter reserved for Robin and Ali who are portrayed as pop stars performing on a music show in the 60s (hence the black and white tint). Are they meant to be someone akin to The Righteous Brothers because they come across more like Robson and Jerome to me.

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mffl/top-of-the-pops-27101994