TOTP 28 NOV 1997

The end is approaching for these 1997 TOTP repeats as we arrive at the last show of November. It was also the last show for Mark Lamarr who was presenting the final of his four episodes. This left a roster of four regular hosts – Jayne Middlemiss, Zoe Ball, Jamie Theakston and Jo Whiley – a line up that would stay unchanged until July 1998. I can’t say I’m too upset about Lamarr’s departure – I liked him on The Word and Never Mind The Buzzcocks but his comic approach didn’t quite fit with TOTP – something about it I found jarring like he was trying too hard to take the piss out of everything and everyone. He starts this show with an eyepatch and claiming he’s Snake Plissken who is the fictional character from the films Escape From New York and Escape From L.A. as portrayed by Kurt Russell. The reason behind this ‘escapes’ me but then I’ve never watched either film so maybe there’s some weird connection between them and the BBC’s premier pop music programme. If anyone reading this is in the know, please leave a comment.

We begin with Louise who, after leaving Eternal, has fashioned a very respectable pop career for herself. I use the word ‘pop’ deliberately as her previous band mates were pursuing a much more R&B direction. Maybe a parting of the ways would have been inevitable regardless. Anyway, “Let’s Go Round Again” was Louise’s sixth Top 10 hit out of seven single releases – like I said, not too shabby. However, was the fact that she’d got to the cover version stage so early a sign that her time as a solo artist was already going stale?

Originally a No 12 hit for the Average White Band in 1980, on the one hand it was a sensible choice of cover in line with her positioning as a mainstream dance/pop act. It was light and catchy and a shoo-in for Radio 1’s daytime playlists. On the other hand, it was just too safe and a definite step away from her rebranding as a sex symbol and sultry performer of songs like “Naked”. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle of these two views but ultimately it just seemed all a little pointless to me. Mind you, not as pointless as this No 78 hit from 1990 by Yell!…

After the rather surprising collaboration of hard rock heroes Metallica and English singer and actress Marianne Faithfull in the previous show, this week we get another unusual combination – ‘dream house’ pin up boy Robert Miles and one quarter of disco legends Sister Sledge, Kathy Sledge. I’m not sure how this came about and I care less but presumably Miles wanted a female vocalist for his tune “Freedom” much as he had done with Maria Nayler on his previous hit “One And One”. Kathy’s last appearance on the show would have been nearly five years before as part of Sister Sledge to promote yet another rerelease of “Lost In Music” and in the meantime she’s changed her hairstyle to what I can only describe as a Deirdre Barlow perm! She seems to be up there on her own with no sign of Robert Miles. Maybe he was washing his hair that night? Actually, Kathy’s not quite alone. Check out the studio audience member in the grey shirt who’s ‘’avin’ it large’ with his flailing arm movements. Despite most of the rest of the audience not being in the spotlight, he’s managed to keep finding a position where the studio lights keep picking him up. Not sure if that’s deliberate or lucky. As for the song, it’s fairly standard Miles fare – a twinkling piano intro and dream house beats but doesn’t really go anywhere for me. Put it like this – I wasn’t lost in the music.

Now, she may be the ‘Queen of Hip-Hop Soul’ but this single by Mary J. Blige sounds common and ignoble to my, admittedly soul-less, ears. “Missing You” is a right old dirge. Once more, it was written by legendary producer Babyface (it felt like half the Top 40 was down to him around this time) and he seems to have re-written 10cc’s “I’m Not In Love”. Certainly the opening lines have clear parallels with the 1975 chart topper. Witness:

I’m not in love, it’s just some kind of thing I’m goin’ through

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Kenneth Edmonds
Missing You lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

And…

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it, it’s just a silly phase I’m going through

Writer/s: Eric Michael Stewart, Graham Keith Gouldman
Publisher: MUSIC SALES CORPORATION
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Busted! Apparently, Shanice is on backing vocals. Remember her? “I Love Your Smile”? You couldn’t get a song so diametrically opposed to “Missing You” as that sunny, breezy, upbeat track.

Oh brilliant! Another TV actor trying his arm at a career in music. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, that seemed to be the preserve of soap stars but by 1997, one man had opened the door for anyone in a drama series to become a resident of the charts. That man was, of course, Simon Cowell. The charge sheet of this guy’s crimes against music is huge! Not happy with inflicting Robson & Jerome on us he also paved the way for Steven Houghton to play at being a pop star but this time, for Soldier Soldier read London’s Burning. The show about the lives of Blue Watch of the London Fire Brigade had already spawned one wannabe pop singer in John Alford who had three hit singles in 1996 (all cover versions* obviously) all of which were so bad he was given the nickname Jon Awful in the Our Price where I was working.

*Including “If” that had been a No 1 in the UK for yet another actor in 1975 – Telly Savalas. Talk about the phenomenon eating itself!

I’m not sure if Cowell had anything to do with that abomination (I wouldn’t be surprised if he did though) but he definitely had his mucky fingers over Steven Houghton’s cover of “Wind Beneath My Wings” as he knew the actor’s agent and encouraged him to secure a commercial release of the song. Why did the public keep falling for this practice? The set up for the single was a carbon copy of that of the aforementioned Robson & Jerome. Houghton’s character performs the song as part of the plot of one episode and…well, that was all that was required for the general public to hot foot it down to their local record store to ask for that record by the TV fireman. Look, I get that it’s a heady cocktail of promotion – a song on your favourite TV show beamed directly into your living room would be worth more than a thousand adverts in the music press and yes, I know it wasn’t an original concept. EastEnders had given us Nick Berry in 1986 singing a song that had initially been featured on the soap but this was all getting a bit much. Thankfully both Alford and Houghton’s pop careers were mercifully short lived but we aren’t out of the woods yet. We’ve still got Adam Rickitt, Martine McCutcheon and Will Mellor to come before these 90s TOTP repeats are done with us. At least we didn’t have to suffer the Bill Tarmey version of “Wind Beneath My Wings” as mentioned by Mark Lamarr. Small mercies and all that.

You know Simon Cowell’s charge sheet of crimes against music I mentioned before? Add this nonsense to it! Yes, Mr High-Waisted-Trousers also brought us this massive hutch full of rabbit shit that was “Teletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’ “ by the Teletubbies. Good Lord! Was there no end to this sadist’s desire to fling musical excrement at the general public. Ah, the general public. Perhaps they/we should be taking a lot of the blame for this? After all, Cowell didn’t buy all 1.3 million copies it sold himself did he? I wouldn’t put it past him to have engaged in some chart manipulation though.

Teletubbies was a TV phenomenon. A BBC children’s show aimed at a pre-school audience that first aired in March of this year, its characters Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po would become household names. The secret of the show’s success was that the Teletubbies were designed to resemble toddlers and that the way they communicated was via a language that was pure gibberish. Of course, when I was a child, our supply of gibberish came courtesy of The Flowerpot Men but they weren’t half as cute as the Teletubbies.

Cuteness wasn’t the only thing that The Flowerpot Men didn’t have – there was also the marketing strategies that existed in the 90s. Given the success of the show, the Teletubbies were always going to generate commercial spin offs and consequently Teletubbies dolls were the biggest selling toy of Christmas 1997. There was also a game released for Microsoft Windows and then there was the dreaded single. Basically just the theme tune to the show with some added bits, it would storm to the top of the charts and be the bookies favourite for the Christmas No 1. Well, if Mr. Blobby could bag the festive top seller why couldn’t the Teletubbies? In all fairness, if Simon Cowell hadn’t released the single, someone else would have. Indeed, when he got news that another label wanted to sign the Teletubbies, he got the BBC in his office and offered them £500,000 in advance to do a deal so sure was he of the single’s ability to sell. But who was buying it? I can only assume parents for their toddlers. Surely it wasn’t pop music fans?! In the end, it would be another act with young child appeal that would grab the Christmas No 1 at the last to deny the Teletubbies but that’s for a future post. In the meantime, we will be seeing Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po again in these TOTP repeats I’m afraid. At least they were a one hit wonder and were spared a follow up single.

After two stinkers comes a sweet smelling quality tune in “Never Ever” by All Saints. It certainly provides some fragrant relief from the nasty stench of Steven Houghton and the Teletubbies. However, I’ve a feeling even its bouquet might start to go stale as – get this – it’s on TOTP nine times over a thirteen week period! NINE! This was the second of those nine appearances and already the group’s shoulder shrugging dance move is becoming firmly established. A couple of things leapt to my attention. Firstly, that the only person not to get a solo part in the song is Natalie Appleton. Is this significant? She was originally going to be the group’s manager but became a performing member once she’d sorted child care arrangements for her daughter. Secondly, in the lyrics, the phrase ‘A to Z’ is used twice but the first time ‘Z’ is sung using the American pronunciation of ‘zee’ but the second time it’s the English version of ‘zed’. Make your minds up girls!

In the last post, I noted upon the identity crisis surrounding the rerelease of “You Sexy Thing” in the wake of the success of the film The Full Monty. All of the online evidence I could find points to it being under the name of Hot Chocolate which is how it should be given that the group had already had a hit with it twice. However, TOTP billed it as being by the singer Errol Brown and they’ve done so again this week. What was going on here? Errol did have a brief solo career in the late 80s but it only gave him one UK Top 40 hit in 1987 called “Personal Touch”. Or was it two as the officialcharts.com archive says that the follow up to the 1997 rerelease of “You Sexy Thing” was “It Started With A Kiss” which was under the name of Hot Chocolate featuring Errol Brown. It was all very confusing. Even Errol himself needed clarification when he sang in that follow up “you don’t remember me do you?”…

And so to the new No 1. Although this was a charity record for this year’s Children In Need appeal, it didn’t start out with that intention. 1997 was the 75th anniversary of the BBC which prompted the Beeb to undertake a corporate redesign and a series of promotional campaigns to highlight the services it offered the public. One such campaign was a trailer put together over an 18 month period to promote the wide range of music offered by the BBC. It took the form of various music artists from all genres singing a line of “Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day”. I’m not going to list all the participants but some of the names appearing included heavyweights like Bono, David Bowie and Elton John but also some left field people like Sky from Morcheeba, Laurie Anderson and Robert Cray. Country music was represented by Emmylou Harris and Tammy Wynette whilst opera was championed by Lesley Garrett and Thomas Allen. Indie had Brett Anderson and Evan Dando but perhaps the one person who everyone remembers but whose name many didn’t know was Dr. John for his pronunciation of ‘perfect’ as “poi-fect”.

The trailer proved hugely popular with the public and demand to be able to buy this version led to a single release that was tied in with the Children In Need appeal. A couple of points of interest to note here. Firstly, there can’t have been too many UK chart hits under the name of Various Artists. Off the top of my head, there was a dance medley single released to tie in with the BRIT Awards in 1990 which made No 2 I think but surely this was the first ‘Various Artists’ chart topper. Secondly, “Perfect Day” had an unusual chart journey. Having debuted at No 1 and staying there for a further week, it then spent two weeks at No 2 and two weeks at No 3 before leaping back to the top of the charts a whole month after its initial spell there. You just keep me hangin’ on indeed.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1LouiseLet’s Go Round AgainNope
2Robert Miles featuring Kathy SledgeFreedomNah
3Mary J. BligeMissing YouNo
4Steven HoughtonWind Beneath My WingsNever
5TeletubbiesTeletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’What do you think?!
6All SaintsNever EverLiked it, didn’t buy it
7Hot ChocolateYou Sexy ThingI did not
8Various ArtistsPerfect DayNo but I had Lou Reed’s Transformer album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002c5fm/top-of-the-pops-28111997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 29 NOV 1996

We’re getting close to Christmas both in present day 2024 and 28 years ago in 1996 here at TOTP Rewind where the BBC4 repeats are knocking on the advent calendar doors of December. Back then, I was about to work my seventh consecutive Christmas at Our Price and my second on the spin at the Stockport store. I can’t remember all the specifics of what went down that year – over time the details such as who my work colleagues were have become jumbled up as my memory has shifted and re-edited – but one thing I do recall is that Oasis were selling their fans empty boxes for Christmas. Yes, with no new album available until the following year and no single having been released by the band since “Don’t Look Back In Anger” in the February, their record label Creation needed something to flog to the legion of Oasis followers – it was Christmas after all. What they came up with was unbelievable and yet somehow they sold. To house all those CD singles the band had released, you could purchase two boxes designed to look like a packet of cigarettes – one for the tracks from “Definitely Maybe” and one for the songs from “”(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?”. The latter was gold and the former silver and both carried the warning ‘RockNRoll Can Seriously Damage Your Health. I can’t remember exactly how much they cost but I’m guessing a fiver each. What a racket!

Anyway, tonight’s hosts are Ronan and Stephen from Boyzone – nice lads who would never attempt to fleece their fans by selling them some old tat I’m sure. Ahem. After an ill advised impression of The Prodigy’s Keith Flint from Ronan at the top of the show, we’re off with the first artist of the night who is Belinda Carlisle who was experiencing her penultimate UK Top 40 hit with “Love In The Key Of C”. Now, I’m no musician but I did take a few guitar classes over the years which did cover elements of music structure so I know the chord progression in the key of C major is C – G – A – F for example. What I don’t know though is what love in the key of C is. A quick google of the phrase ‘Key of C’ tells me that it’s one of the most common keys in music as it’s also one of the simplest with no sharps nor flats making it easier to play as its key signature is a blank staff. It’s also a neutral key that doesn’t evoke strong emotions making it versatile for various genres and moods. Hmm. A blank staff and doesn’t evoke strong emotions – why that’s a perfect way to describe “Love In The Key Of C” as it’s as dull as Tess Daly’s presenting skills. What’s worse is that one of the lyrics says:

Love in the key of C, you’re my life’s sweet harmony,

It’s the key of Amazing Grace

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Rick Nowels
Love in the Key of C lyrics © Spirit Music Group

Well, I’m sorry Belinda but that’s just not true. “Amazing Grace” was written in the key of F Major. Not since Alanis Morissette came up with “Ironic” had a lyric been so wrong.

Next, it’s another artist whose poster would have adorned the wall of many a teenage lad’s bedroom back then. Following Belinda Carlisle comes Louise with her fifth hit single in a just over a year, all taken from her debut album “Naked”. This one was called “One Kiss From Heaven” and was…hang on a minute…didn’t her ex-band Eternal have a hit called that?!

*checks Eternal discography*

My bad. Their third single was called “Just A Step From Heaven” so I was close – just round the corner you might say. I thought Louise had been recycling a tune for a minute. Anyway, her song was all sultry and sensual but it sounds to me as if it was trying a little too hard to be those things. It was co-written by Simon Climie of Climie Fisher fame who knows his way around a decent pop tune but I’m not sure slinky seduction is his thing really. I guess it was the logical next step in the master plan to change our perception of Louise from wholesome, girl next door to sex goddess but it doesn’t quite convince for me although I’m sure it would have for all those aforementioned teenage boys.

It turns out that Louise did record her own version of that Eternal song for her 2023 Greatest Hits album and called it “Just A Step From Heaven (Reimagined)” and guess what? It sounds just like the Eternal version. Never has the word ‘reimagined’ been so misused since Tim Burton reimagined Planet Of The Apes.

Nice to see Roman Keating get in a name check for my beloved Chelsea in his intro to Robert Miles and Maria Nayler. How so? Well, they feature in his list of things you associate with Italy (Miles was Italian) as, at the time, their team included Gianluca Vialli, Roberto Di Matteo and Gianfranco Zola. Club legends every one of them. Sorry? What about the music? Oh, well “One And One” was holding for a third week at No 6 and so was deemed due another TOTP appearance. The showing of the video would move it up the charts in increments one place at a time until it peaked at No 3 before undertaking a descent down them that would take nearly two months. You’d think given the amount of time it spent inside the Top 40 that I would have strongly associated it with Christmas ‘96 but I don’t, I really don’t. To be fair, there aren’t many singles that do spring to mind when I think of that particular festive period. There’s the Spice Girls obviously and Madonna’s version of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” but after that, nothing much. The Christmas chart had Toni Braxton at No 4 but it had already been in the Top 10 for nine weeks by that point so maybe it was inevitable with long running hits like that and Robert Miles’ that it would be hard to connect them to Christmas when they’d been with us for months. Or maybe, yet again, my memory has just failed me. Always a possibility.

1996 saw a number of artists put together consistent runs of multiple UK Top 40 hits. I’m thinking Shed Seven, Manic Street Preachers and indeed, from this very show, Louise. All of them had at least four singles make the charts and to that list can be added Skunk Anansie for whom “Twisted (Everyday Hurts)” was their fourth hit of the year. Unlike those other acts though, it also started a run of three consecutive songs that would not only chart but which had brackets in their titles. Following this, they had hits with “Hedonism (Just Because You Feel Good)” and “Brazen (Weep)” and it got me to thinking why people put brackets in their song titles. Well, let’s start with what brackets are used for grammatically which is to provide clarity or add extra information. Do we need either of those in a title of a song? Maybe but I would say not. Surely the art form of the musical composition should be about the emotional response that it illicits rather than its syntax? So why do any song titles feature brackets? To add an element of mystery or intellectual rigour to them? I’m not convinced that any song title should have brackets to be honest. And in any case, some of the songs that have employed brackets that I can think of haven’t made any sense at all. Take George Michael and Aretha Franklin’s 1987 duet “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” for example. What was the need for the brackets here? Or what about the near hit single by The Icicle Works called “Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)” that was retitled “Whisper To A Scream (Birds Fly)” for the American market? What was that all about?

As for Skunk Anansie’s foray into bracket world, were they trying to distinguish themselves from the Sad Cafe 1979 hit “Every Day Hurts”? Surely not including those words in the title would have done that? Enough of the linguistics though, what about their song? Well, as with previous single “All I Want”, I actually quite enjoyed it though I couldn’t have told you how it went before watching this TOTP repeat. And there was I thinking that all there was to them was “Weak”.

So what sort of banter or should I say craic did Ronan and Stephen have together as a presenting duo? Well, it was a little bit stilted but their winning Irish accents saw them through even the most cringey of exchanges such as the Bob Marley/ Bob Geldof one that happened in the segue to the Fugees. There’s one bit in it where Ronan sounds as if he’s saying a line from Father Ted. Anyway, “No Woman, No Cry” is straight in at No 2 but I like previous single “Ready Or Not” that also debuted in the same chart position, it wasn’t able to make that leap to the top of the charts the following week.

Was it sacrilege to cover a Bob Marley song? I think they probably just about pulled it off but did Bob himself ever indulge in the art of the cover version? Well, I did find this which is quite extraordinary in its unlikeliness…

Now, I like to think of this blog as irreverent in nature (though many who have read it might use the word ‘irrelevant’ instead) but that tone isn’t really going to cut it for this next song so I’m going to stick to the facts rather than pass any judgement on it.

On 13th March 1996, 43 year old Thomas Hamilton entered the gymnasium of Dunblane Primary School, Stirling and shot dead one teacher and 16 pupils aged between five and six and injured a further 15 people before turning the gun on himself. It remains the deadliest mass shooting in British history and led to the introduction of the Firearms (Amendment) Act 1997 and the Firearms (Amendment) Act No 2 1997 that banned all cartridge ammunition handguns in England, Scotland and Wales. This legislation was the result of the official enquiry into the incident (Cullen Report) and a public campaign (Snowdrop Petition) to ban private ownership of all handguns.

On 9th December 1996, a version of Bob Dylan’s “Knocking On Heaven’s Door” was released accredited to Dunblane which was Scottish musician Ted Christopher with the help of Dire Straits’ Mark Knopfler and featuring singing by children from the town of Dunblane itself (including the siblings of some of the children who were murdered). I can’t find anything online which connects the single explicitly to the Snowdrop Petition campaign but no doubt the two would have been linked in the minds of some parts of the public. The song was rewritten (with Dylan’s consent) to refer specifically to the events of Dunblane with the proceeds from its sales going to children’s charities. The release schedules were cleared by the record labels of all other major artists (including the Spice Girls) at the time so as to give the single a clear path to becoming No 1. Bookmakers agreed to not take bets on it being the Christmas No 1, not wanting to appear to be making profit out of such a tragedy, with a promise that bets on any other artist being honoured if they were at No 2 and Dunblane topped the charts in Christmas week. Although the single did indeed go to No 1, it would only stay there for only one week.

There appears to have been some thought given to the running order by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill as the Dunblane single is followed by the aptly named “Child” by Mark Owen. Not only that but there is no intro from the Boyzone lads just a respectful segue from performance to performance. And not only that but the first line Owen sings is “Sleep peacefully now, my child”. Definitely some consideration there of how to schedule the Dunblane song into the show. As for Mark, he gives a curious delivery of his single, hardly moving and when he does it’s in faint, jilted movements as if he’s the worlds worst escapologist, half-heartedly trying to work out how to get out of the straight jacket he’s in. It does make him look quite vulnerable which was maybe the image he was looking for to match the tone of his single but it’s slightly at odds with the four lads backing him who look like they want to be in a Britpop band – one of them even breaks rank to turn and give a little smile to the camera. Cheeky!

The last artist in the studio is Sheryl Crow who was really getting into her stride by this point. After “All I Wanna Do” had been her massive breakthrough hit two years earlier, her next four singles had underwhelmed in the UK but she bounced back with eponymous, sophomore album the lead single from which “If It Makes You Happy” had restored her to our Top 10. She followed that up with “Everyday Is A Winding Road” which sounded even better than its predecessor to me. Inspired by Crowded House drummer Paul Hester whose character and joie de vivre had a lasting impact on her when she toured with the band as support act, it fair stomps along with a slide guitar and tom tom drums to the forefront. Some critics lambasted it for stealing from “Sympathy For The Devil” by the Rolling Stones but I can’t hear it.

If the line “He’s got a daughter he calls Easter” is about Hester, then there’s a bit of creative licence going on as his daughters are called Olive and Sunday but to be fair if she’d used the latter name, it wouldn’t have scanned at all and might have prompted images of Olive Oyl or Olive from On The Buses (for me at least). Tragically, Hester struggled with depression and lost his battle with it in 2005 committing suicide at the age of 46.

I was in good company with those who liked the song – Prince was such a fan that he recorded a version of it for his “Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic” album and has even performed it live with Sheryl herself.

The Prodigy remain at No 1 with “Breathe” for a second week – a fine achievement for a dance act but there was no way that they would ever cling on to be the Christmas chart topper. Indeed, three other artists would occupy top spot before the actual festive No 1 was announced. That probably said much of how record company release scheduling and promotional campaigns had changed. I can’t imagine such activity could have happened just 10 years prior. To The Prodigy’s credit, “Breathe” would still be in the Top 10 in the Christmas week chart.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Belinda CarlisleLove In The Key Of CNope
2LouiseOne Kiss From HeavenNah
3Robert Miles and Maria NaylerOne And OneI did not
4Skunk AnansieTwisted (Everyday Hurts)No but its not bad
5FugeesNo Woman, No CryNo but my wife had the album
6DunblaneKnocking On Heaven’s DoorNo but please don’t judge
7Mark OwenChildSee 4 above
8Sheryl CrowEveryday Is A Winding RoadNo but I had her Best Of with it on
9The ProdigyBreatheNo but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0025gmv/top-of-the-pops-29111996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 15 NOV 1996

Why oh why didn’t we have more of this calibre of ‘golden mic’ presenter? Having four of The Fast Show cast in character was a genius move by TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill. Or was it his decision? Did it come from higher up within the BBC to promote the first (and so far only) The Fast Show Christmas Special that was aired on 27 December of this year? Whatever the truth, the turn by Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Mark Williams and John Thomson was so much better than the usual standard we’ve seen from the majority of these celebrity hosts. It was certainly a vast improvement on the drivel many of the old Radio 1 DJs used to shovel at us (yes, obviously I’m pointing at you Simon Mayo). We start with the characters of Ted and Ralph who are straight into their uncomfortable relationship mode. I especially like the way Ted says he doesn’t know about Boyzone (sir) but then immediately informs Ralph that Take That have split up.

The first act they introduce is Robert Miles and Maria Nayler with a track called “One And One”. Miles, of course, was the poster boy of the dream house movement and had scored a massive hit earlier in the year with “Children”. Unlike that song and follow up “Fable” which were both instrumentals, this one had actual singing in it courtesy of Nayler who had started her music career with the band Ultraviolet who I’d heard of but had no idea what they sounded like. Someone who did though and who liked what he heard was DJ and producer Sasha who sought Nayler out to record the track “Be As One” which became a Top 20 UK hit earlier in 1996. This would peak the interest of Robert Miles who similarly made contact with Nayler to collaborate on the song “One And One” – clearly Maria had a thing about songs with the word ‘one’ in the title.

So what was this ‘new’ sound like? Well, it was like “Children” with vocals wasn’t it? If you liked that sort of thing then good luck to you but for me it was all fairly insubstantial. If I’ve said this once, I’ve said it hundreds of times but the record buying public didn’t agree with me and sent it to No 3 in the UK charts. However, the dream house phenomenon would peter out from this point on (although it probably morphed into something else). Miles would have just one further UK chart hit (bizarrely with a Sledge Sister) and he himself would pass away in 2017 from metastatic cancer aged just 47.

Next up are Mrs Ted’s favourites the Backstreet Boys. I’m sorry Mrs Ted but I could never understand the appeal of this lot. Awful name, useless songs and most of them were not even that good looking. Without wishing to sound too Little Englander about it, didn’t we have enough boy bands of our own without making space for New Kids In The Block 2.0? Take this song “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” for example. It’s just a sub par version of something Boyz II Men might have released. Somehow though, I still hear their songs played on the radio to this day. Maybe it’s me that’s got it all wrong? Nah, couldn’t be but even if liking the Backstreet Boys was being in the right, I’d rather be wrong. In fact, I want it that way (ahem).

Somebody put some thought into this running order (though clearly not “I’ll Get Me Coat” man who does the intro) as we segue from “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” to “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton. Just like Robert Miles’ “One And One” from earlier, this single had a remarkable chart life partly helped by the fact there was a ballad version and a dance version of the single available to buy. Look at these chart positions though:

4 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 4 – 2 – 4

That’s eleven weeks inside the Top 5 with a climb down the chart being reversed on three separate occasions. Compare that to the chart record of “One And One”:

6 – 6 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 6

Incredible really that two records in the charts at the same time could display such consistency of sales. Working in Our Price at the time, that pattern of sales would also have been hard to order for with the question “surely it’s going to tail off next week?” always in the back of the singles buyer’s mind. Interesting that “One And One” spent three consecutive weeks at No 6. The devil’s music perhaps?

We were always going to see Jazz Club’s Louis Balfour weren’t we and John Thomson duly delivers. It’s the plausible detail of the script that makes this character funny for me – the names of the fictional artists and songs that Balfour introduces that are simultaneously ludicrous and believable. He’s on form in this link referencing Peter Python and The Bop and a track called “Beat My Feet Sweet”. Nice! Not nice though was the real act that he introduces – The Woolpackers with “Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll”. Whose shameless and shameful idea was this to cash in on the line dancing phenomenon that was sweeping the country around this time?! Presumably some executive producer at Emmerdale from where this grotesque abomination originated. I’ve never watched the soap much – it was the one that I could never really get into – and this single wasn’t going to tempt me in.

Supposedly, the group that consisted of three cast members actually featured in a plot line of the show but I couldn’t tell you what the story was. All I knew was that this was a terrible record engineered to fleece fans of the soap or those people who would only come into a record shop once a year at Christmas. Somehow this pile of crap got to No 5 and spent ten weeks inside the Top 40. They repeated the grift the following Christmas with another line dancing song called “Line Dance Party” (the thought that must have gone into naming it!) and there were two whole albums released off the back of this initial nonsense. Here’s a thought, after you’ve done your cha cha slides, your brushes and your heel fans, here’s another move for all those involved in this record – it’s called the ‘hang your head in shame’ and that includes TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill for having it on the show.

In 1995, Michael Jackson had the UK Christmas No 1. Twelve months on and his Yuletide offering was still being sourced from his “HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I” album but “Stranger In Moscow” was no “Earth Song”. In fact, despite its chart peak of No 4, I don’t remember this one at all. I think I can be forgiven as it’s the somnambulist’s anthem, sleepwalking its way from start to finish. Indeed, it’s 65bpm makes it one of Jackson’s slowest songs.

A ballad about loneliness, it apparently drew on Jackson’s personal experience of walking through the city at night alone looking for someone, anyone to talk to. The Russian angle was meant to highlight his feelings of fear and alienation though lyrics like “Armageddon of the brain”, “Stalin’s tomb won’t let me be” and “KGB was doggin’ me” all seem rather clunky and ham fisted. Supposedly the track’s origins came from a bizarre source – the credits theme for the computer game Sonic The Hedgehog 3. What this?

Oh my God! I think I can hear a similarity! And here’s another similarity – a cover of “Stranger In Moscow” by a band I’d never heard of before but whose version actually turns the track (for me) into a decent song. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge and dismiss.

Right, so I’ve now watched the first part of the Boybands Forever documentary on iPlayer and it dealt specifically with the rise of and rivalry between Take That and East 17. It starts with a clip of the latter’s Brian Harvey smashing up a disc for 1 million sales of East 17 records in a fit of rage. The clip was dated as being from 2015 and sees Harvey ranting about grief he’s getting from the police, the CPS, the court system before he finally says turns on the music industry. Now, you may have seen that Harvey has been posting a lot of videos of himself lately where he talks/shouts about conspiracies and cover ups and being censored. His ex-band mate John Hendy got involved by posting a reply video telling Harvey to shut up and move on. Brian, predictably, did neither. Reading between the lines, Harvey seems to be insinuating that events took place during the band’s career that should have warranted an Operation Yewtree style investigation and that they have consistently been covered up and he wants to get the truth out there whatever the cost may be to him personally. He even referenced the recent death of Liam Payne as part of his conspiracy theory. I don’t know where the truth lies in this – why would I? – but all I’m going to say is that, in retrospect, having Ken and Kenneth the “Ooh! Suit you sir!” twins introduce East 17 and Gabrielle perform “If You Ever” hasn’t aged that well.

Ken and Kenneth really push the envelope with their next link to Prince by referring to him as the “purple-headed one” – I think we all understand that double entendre. I say Prince but I think he was officially known as that squiggly symbol thing by this point. Apparently, he’d always wanted to record “Betcha By Golly Wow!” that had originally been a hit for The Stylistics in 1972 but his record company Warners hadn’t allowed it so he got his way once he was free from contractual obligations to them and recorded it for his “Emancipation” album. I have to say that although it seems a logical choice given the range of Prince’s falsetto voice, I’m not sure he does a great job with it. If it was a shout for a penalty in a football match, you’d say that he made a meal of it. It did make No 11 in the UK which suggests the record buying public once again disagreed with me. However, aside from a rerelease of “1999” as the new millennium dawned, he would never have as big a hit in this country again.

In amongst the headlines that were fashioned by the press in the Gary Barlow v Robbie Williams battle, there was another contender for solo artist supremacy who rather went under the radar and yet, for me, his first solo single was better than both his ex-band mates’ efforts combined. The perceived wisdom was that Barlow was the talent when it came to writing songs and was therefore the most likely to succeed out on his own. Williams had generated a lot of press for himself but when it came to it, his first release was a cover version – where were your songs Robbie?

Tiptoeing a path through both came Mark Owen – the pretty young one as described by Ralph in his intro – and therein lay the issue for Owen, that he could be dismissed as just that. Even the TOTP caption adds to the condescending narrative by stating “Wrote this track himself” with the underlying tone being “Who would have thought it?” and yet “Child” is actually very good. Coming on like a cross between Donovan and David Cassidy, Owen delivered a sparkling, shimmering pop song that perfectly suited him vocally. With all due respect, Mark doesn’t have the biggest voice but he didn’t need one for this string drenched ballad. The chart positions for the debut singles by Barlow, Williams and Owen seemed to solidify in the minds of the public some sort of natural order with Gary’s “Forever Love” going to No 1, Robbie’s George Michael cover spinning to No 2 and Mark’s “Child” finding a home at No 3. Those three chart peaks were replicated for all three’s follow up singles as well. It was like some preordained medal podium for ex-members of Take That. Time would show that it would be Williams who would ultimately ascend to the gold medal position in terms of record sales but for Mark Owen it would never get better than a bronze medal. His album “Green Man” didn’t sell in bucket loads (we had a massive overstock in the Our Price where I was working after Head Office buyers mistakenly bought in loads of it thinking it was a surefire winner) and he was dropped by his label within a year. Winning the second series of Celebrity Big Brother in 2002 raised his profile again to the point where he bagged a Top 5 hit with “Four Minute Warning” but it was a case of diminishing returns after that until the Take That reunion in 2006. Mark has continued his solo career in parallel with the band and last released an album in 2022.

In an inspired move, Bob Fleming does the voice over for the Top 10 countdown which obviously means we don’t actually hear much of the Top 10 countdown. In pole position are Robson & Jerome for a second week with their triple A-side single “What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. Mercifully, this would be their last ever release (excluding a Best Of and a Love Songs collection that would follow in later years) which makes me wonder if that was the reason behind this triple track product. Going out with a bang and a third No 1 single out of three. Would they have risked doing a Frankie Goes To Hollywood if they’d have gone for a fourth single and missed the top of the charts? Or was it as simple as they’d had enough of this pop star lark and wanted to get back to their day jobs? Presumably they had a contract with their record label RCA so maybe they’d just fulfilled their contractual obligations? Whatever the reason, I think this might be their final TOTP appearance (bar Christmas specials) and I think we can all say “thank f**k for that!”. The madness was over. As for The Fast Show, it would go on for a further two series with the cast reuniting for a 30 anniversary tour this year. Nice.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Robert Miles and Maria NaylerOne And OneNope
2Backstreet BoysI’ll Never Break Your HeartNever
3Toni BraxtonUn-Break My HeartI did not
4The Woolpackers Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly RollAs if
5Michael JacksonStranger In MoscowNah
6East 17 / GabrielleIf You EverSorry Brian – it’s a no
7PrinceBetcha By Golly Wow!No
8Mark OwenChildLiked it, didn’t buy it
9Robson & JeromeWhat Becomes Of The Brokenhearted” / “Saturday Night At The Movies” / “You’ll Never Walk AloneSee 4 above

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00256xq/top-of-the-pops-15111996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 06 JUN 1996

Ah, it’s time for that infrequent event of a TOTP being aired on my birthday. This particular show coincided with my 28th birthday (I’m now 56) and usually I wouldn’t have remembered what I got up to on my special day but, as I revealed just the other week, I recently rediscovered an old diary that helpfully covers the year 1996 in its entirety so lets see what occurred that day.

*checks diary*

Well, sensibly I’d booked the day off work and so had lunch in town with my wife before another meal in the evening at a favourite restaurant. Perfect. I did fit in going to my first aid course in between eating and I hope I was listening carefully as I spent the next couple of days with a gippy stomach. Maybe that favourite restaurant shouldn’t have been such a favourite! Anyway, presumably I didn’t see this TOTP episode due to being out so let’s see what I missed.

Tonight’s host is Nicky Campbell and the first act he introduces is Louise who is back in the charts with her third, and possibly most well known, solo single “Naked”. This was the point in the ex-Eternal member’s career when her management/label made a clear and definite decision to change her image from angelic, girl-next-door to pvc-clad, sex goddess. It worked as well. FHM Magazine readers voted Louise second in their list of the ‘100 Sexiest Women’ of 1996 (XFiles star Gillian Anderson came first). I’m guessing one of those that voted for Louise may have been this fellow (@jjtotheb) who commented on the YouTube video of this performance:

“I remember having my first tug to this”

Well, you can’t argue with that I guess. Or maybe you can. Providing the view from the other side is this chap on Twitter/X:

Hmm. Well, whatever your feelings about Louise, we should probably do her the courtesy of discussing her song rather than just her looks and clearly “Naked” was written as a integral component of her rebrand. With lyrics that include the words ‘sexual’, ‘sensual’ and, of course, its title, there was no doubt that this was a much sassier type of track than she had been given previously. To my ears it was a catchy, competent soul/pop hit that was a bit Madonna-lite* and no more but it’s No 5 peak helped to establish Louise as a genuine solo artist with a chart career. She would clock up a further nine UK hits all but two of which would go Top 10.

*Actually, the synthesised riff in the chorus of “Naked” is very reminiscent of the intro and outro motif of “Father Figure” also now I come to think of it.

After “Children” gave Robert Miles a continent-straddling mega-hit earlier in the year, it must have seemed to the poster boy for ‘dream house’ music that the obvious way to follow it up was to release another track that was almost identical to its predecessor. Genius! And lo, it came to pass, that the single “Fable” did just that. The record buying public did what they always do and fell for the trick by buying enough copies to send it to No 7. So, the moral of the story of fable is ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ otherwise known as ‘don’t f**k with the formula’.

Now, before carrying on, I feel I should pull Nicky Campbell up on something he says in his intro for the next artist who is Tina Turner. Our host describes her as “the great soul survivor” and notes that the performance we are about to see of her new single “On Silent Wings” is from a live concert in Rotterdam before announcing “and let’s face it, if you can survive Rotterdam, you can survive anything”. What?! Why the need to slag off Holland’s second biggest city? Has he even been there? I can’t vouch for what it was like in 1996 but I visited it in 2018 and it was delightful. The Markthal (Market Place complex) is a marvel, its skyline stunning and parks wonderful to spend time in. A few months after this TOTP aired, The Beautiful South would have a big hit with “Rotterdam (Or Anywhere)” though I’m not sure that was a love letter to the city either. Around the same time that song was in the charts, I found myself on holiday in Barcelona where Tina’s Wildest Dreams tour was in town at the Palau Sant Jordi sports arena. I didn’t feel the need to shell out a small fortune that I didn’t have for tickets, I must admit.

Anyway, back to “On Silent Wings” which was the third single pulled from her “Wildest Dreams” album which was, rather surprisingly, her first collection of new studio material since 1989’s “Foreign Affair”. Those intervening years had been filled with a Best Of and the soundtrack to the biopic of her life. I’m guessing I wasn’t really paying much attention to this era of Tina as I couldn’t tell you how any of the songs from this album went but I was surprised to read that it was produced by Trevor Horn. The country-tinged slumber fest that is “On Silent Wings” is a world away from his iconic work with the likes of ABC, Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Art Of Noise. Apparently, the studio recording of the song also features vocals by Sting which obviously we don’t get to hear in this ‘live’ clip. Money for nothing or money for old rope? You decide.

Really?! In 1996, did we really have to have this in the charts?! A pretty much identikit version of one of Cliff Richard’s most naff, sickly and insipid tunes by a bloke who would be given the middle name of ‘love rat’ by the tabloids?! I refer, of course, to Darren Day, a former Butlin’s redcoat who made a small name for himself in 1988 via talent show Opportunity Knocks (then hosted by Bob Monkhouse) before carving out a bigger career on London’s West End theatre circuit. His appearance on TOTP though arose from his turn as the star of the touring stage version of the 1963 film Summer Holiday. I’m guessing there was a soundtrack album to go with the show and so the titular track was released as a single. I can’t quite work out who would have wanted to shell out hard cash to purchase this though. Someone who had been to the show and wanted a souvenir of it? Wouldn’t a tour programme have sufficed?

Day does a passable impression of Cliff in his performance of “Summer Holiday” but I don’t think the presence of the songwriters (Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett of The Shadows) on stage with him is as a big a scoop as Nicky Campbell tries to make out in his intro. Day looks like someone who you would be happy to take home to meet your parents here, in total contrast to the image he would go on to cultivate. In the 90s alone, he was engaged to Ana Friel, Tracy Shaw and Isla Fisher. Into the 2000s, he was in a relationship with Hear’say singer Suzanne Shaw (he seemed to have a thing for women with that surname) with whom he had a child and they would also work together in a relaunch of the Summer Holiday show. The last entry in his filmography on Wikipedia came back in 2018 with a minor role in The Krays: Dead Man Walking.

Next up we have the first sighting of a group that my friend Robin once dismissed (he’s good at dismissing things) as being a “joke band”. In Robin’s defence, he wasn’t alone in his opinion. Scousers Space gave the music press a dilemma in that they were hard to categorise. ‘Wacky’, ‘Novelty’, ‘Quirky’ and, in a spectacularly failed attempt by some hack to appear pithy, ‘Queasy Listening’ were just some of the descriptors used to label the band’s sound. Lead singer Tommy Scott was especially combatant in his refusal to accept such tags:

“It is because I just do not want to stick to one genre of music. I am into everything so why can’t it all just go into one song? Why would you want to do just country or rock? Why can’t you just do what you want?”

Skillen, Paul (29 January 2021). “‘Scouse Pop: Essay On Creativity”. University of Chester.

Have that Robin! For my part, I quite liked their stuff. Yeah, it was a bit out there yet catchy enough to make daytime radio playlists. My wife liked them enough to buy their debut album “Spiders” which would furnish the band with four hit singles no less. The first of those (though actually their fourth single release) was “Female Of The Species”, its title no doubt inspired by both the Rudyard Kiping poem and the title track to 1950s James Bond rip off film Deadlier Than The Male by The Walker Brothers.:

In this performance, Scott looks just the right side of being a wide eyed, crazy person but then such an image never did Keith Moon any harm did it? Well…yeah it did I suppose seeing as his self destructive behaviour led to him dying at the age of 32 but you get my point. The really lazy option was to lump them in with all those Britpop bands (I’m sure we did in the Our Price store I was working in when it came to setting up a Britpop display) but that was…well…really lazy. They were distinctly different from the usual Britpop candidates like fellow scousers Cast* who were ploughing a much more ‘authentic’, 60s influenced guitar sound.

*I should point out that I did also like Cast to be fair

The “Spiders” album peaked at No 5 whilst 1998’s follow up “Tin Planet” went Top 3 but it seemed as if, once the 90s were over, so were Space’s commercial fortunes. A third album’s release was constantly delayed leading to the band leaving their record label whilst line up changes meant that they pulled their own legs off in 2005 by breaking up the band. A reunion in 2011 has seen them release a further four albums (including that ever delayed third one “Love You More Than Football”) and they still tour to this day proving that there is still space for Space even three decades later.

Due to its success and ubiquity, we would all be forgiven for thinking that “Three Lions (It’s Coming Home)” by Baddiel & Skinner / Lightning Seeds was the official song of the Euro 96 football championships. It wasn’t however – that particular ‘honour’ fell to Simply Red who gave the world this woeful own goal of a song “We’re In This Together”. Apparently this was the last track on their 1995 album “Life” and ‘last’ is how previous act Space might have described it in their Scouse vernacular because it was and remains a terrible track. Awful. Just no good. It hasn’t even got any thing to do with football as far as I can tell judging by the lyrics in which Hucknall wails about “the train of universal feeling” and his eyes being “open just like the ocean”. Utter drivel.

The track was performed at the opening and closing ceremonies of the tournament but I’m guessing hardly anyone remembers it despite that exposure. Of all the plethora of football songs that littered the charts around this time (and there were a lot most of which were indescribably terrible), I think this is the worst. I listened the other day to an interview with the comedian Joe Pasquale (stay with me) and he recounted the tale of an early gig in Wales when he was on the end of what he described as the worst heckle in the world. A member of the audience who was on crutches threw them at Joe and then slumped to the floor shouting something in Welsh at him as he fell. Pasquale picked up the crutches and left the stage at which point a guy met him round the side and said could he have his mate’s crutches back. When Joe asked him what his mate had shouted at him, he replied “You don’t want to know”. Pasquale insisted and was told that he’d shouted “I’d rather fall over than listen to this shit!” and he was true to his word. This is exactly how I feel about Simply Red’s “We’re In This Together”.

From a dodgy tune to a tune by Dodgy now as the “Staying Out For The Summer” hitmakers return with “In A Room”, lead single from their third studio album “Free Peace Sweet” (see what they did there?). I think this track gets overshadowed rather by subsequent single “Good Enough” which is surely their best known hit (apparently one of the most played tracks on British radio in the last 25 years) but it’s actually a pretty decent song in its own right. Angular guitars allied with some breezy drumming courtesy of Matthew Priest and a strident if not completely obvious hook would give them their then biggest hit when it debuted at No 12. Just a few short weeks later though would come that ever present hit making Dodgy good enough for daytime radio playlists everywhere and consigning “In A Room” to also-ran status. Shame.

By 1996, it was four years since Shakespeares Sister had topped the charts for eight weeks with their mammoth hit “Stay” but it felt more like forty. The pop world had not so much moved on as relocated to the other side of the planet and Siobhan Fahey was struggling to find her way back to it. I say Siobhan Fahey as Marcella Detroit had long since been jettisoned from the band rather publicly via an acceptance speech by the former’s publisher at the 1993 Ivor Novello Awards ceremony. After dealing with some personal issues (not least her divorce from Eurythmics Dave Stewart), the Shakespeares Sister project was relaunched with the single “I Can Drive”. Much less ‘pop’ than their previous stuff, it has a definite glam rock bent to it with Siobhan’s much maligned vocals and delivery making her look and sound like she’s auditioning for a part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The song itself has shades of “All The Young Dudes” to it but the verses sound just like those of this hit for OMD that was released just a couple of months after this TOTP aired. Who copied who I wonder?

“I Can Drive” didn’t provide the jump leads to restart Shakespeare Sister’s career that Siobhan must have been hoping for when it stalled at No 30. Relations between her label London Records deteriorated to the point that they refused to release third album “#3” and a parting of the ways became inevitable. The album was finally released in 2004 on Fahey’s own website and a reunion with Marcella Detroit in 2019 saw the duo release a new single and embark upon a tour together.

And so we arrive at the record that would become the biggest selling single of 1996 in the UK. Although the Fugees had already had a Top 40 hit earlier in the year with “Fu-Gee-La”, I don’t think I’d even noticed it as it debuted and exited our charts in just three weeks back in April. Fast forward a couple of months and they went supernova with their cover of Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” which they retitled as “Killing Me Softly”. If I remember correctly, this was around the time that record companies started to allow new singles to be made available in the shops to buy on the Sunday of the week of release as opposed to the traditional Monday. I guess they realised that with stores now routinely opening on both weekend days after the Sunday Trading Act of 1994, there was some logic in stimulating more sales of their products by having them on the shelves for an extra day. I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport on the Sunday that “Killing Me Softly” came out and all I remember doing is selling copy after copy of it from opening to closing time. I couldn’t refill the shelves quick enough (Stockport was a two floor store and I think there was only two of us in that day; I was downstairs where the singles were). It was absolutely relentless.

Why did it capture the nation’s hearts so? Well, it was a bloody good cover version with the hip-hop slant the band put on it coming up trumps alongside some unusual hooks such as the synth sitar sound that kickstarts the track and Wyclef Jean’s “One time, two times” interjected chants. Even so, did that explain its stratospheric sales? It was No 1 just about everywhere and the best selling single of the year not just here but in Germany, Holland, Iceland and Belgium as well. In the UK, it spent nine consecutive weeks at either No 1 or No 2 and 15 weeks inside the Top 40. Its sales were still going strong when the band released follow up “Ready Or Not” causing their record label Columbia to withdraw it from sale to clear the path for its successor. Maybe it was something to do with the amount that radio got behind the track. It broke the record at the time for the most radio plays in a week in the UK. Whatever the reasons, it made the Fugees superstars for a while and led to successful solo careers for all three members Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean and Pras Michel.

After blowing smoke up their collective arses for most of this review, I have to say that the performance here is actually quite annoying mainly due to Wyclef Jean who insists on shouting about being on Top of the Pops and bellowing “Yo!” and “Pow!” over and over. Makes you wish he was “Gone till November”.

The play out video is “The Changing Man” by Paul Weller. Why were we seeing the video for a hit from 12 months previous? It was to trail the fact that Weller would be doing two tracks live on the show next week that Nicky Campbell referred to. It was a feature designed to promote the new Friday night slot that the show was shifting to over the Summer due to the Euro 96 football tournament. It would prove to be a short lived phenomenon with only the reactivated Sex Pistols going on to perform two songs on the show later in the month. As I’ll have already reviewed “The Changing Man” in the 1995 TOTP repeats, I won’t delay myself here any further.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1LouiseNakedNope
2Robert MilesFableNegative
3Tina TurnerOn Silent WingsNah
4Darren DaySummer HolidayAs if
5SpaceFemale Of The SpeciesNo but my wife had their Spiders album
6Simply RedWe’re In This TogetherGod no!
7DodgyIn A RoomNo but my wife had the Free Peace Sweet album
8Shakespeares SisterI Can DriveNo
9FugeesKilling Me SoftlyNo but my wife had The Score album it came from
10Paul WellerThe Changing ManNo but I had the Stanley Road album with it on

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0022v3t/top-of-the-pops-06061996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 14 MAR 1996

Sometimes, things can take a while before they come to fruition, a substantial gestation period before conditions are right for optimum blossoming. In the world of entertainment, we might call it a sleeper hit. In the UK singles chart of 1996, such things were becoming a rarity with singles careering in and out of the Top 40 within a couple of weeks, usually debuting at their peak position before falling away quickly. Songs going straight in at No 1, a complete rarity in the 80s, was becoming a weekly event. In the television industry however, sleeper hits were still a thing. Stretching back to the 70s, Happy Days only became a huge success once the programme makers decided to centre the show around the character of Fonzie. In the 80s, the first series of Blackadder was not a ratings winner until they changed eras and the personality of the title character in Series 2. A similar thing happened with Men Behaving Badly with its popularity soaring once Harry Enfield’s character was replaced by Tony played by Neil Morrissey.

So it was in 1996 with This Life which first aired four days after this TOTP was broadcast. An ensemble piece about a group of 20 something law graduates as they began their careers, it gained little attention when first broadcast. However, with a second series secured, the first was repeated early in 1997 so that it would segue into the second and it started to gain traction both critically and ratings wise. I’m pretty sure that would have been when I started watching it. The show’s success would make stars of the young, mainly unknown cast, none more so than Andrew Lincoln who would eventually become the lead in The Walking Dead phenomenon. This Life featured plenty of contemporary music in it chosen by a pre-fame Ricky Gervais (credited as ‘Music Advisor’) with a heavy Britpop bent. Artists such as Oasis, Pulp, Blur, Suede and Supergrass would all have their songs used. None of those acts are on this episode of TOTP sadly but let’s see who are.

Oh come on! After I’d spent the intro making the case that unlike TV, the Top 40 wasn’t home to any sleeper hits by 1996, the very first song on tonight’s show is just that. “Return Of The Mack” by Mark Morrison would take six whole weeks to get to No 1, the making it the first record to actually climb to the top spot since Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone” the previous September. Not only that, it also took its own sweet time descending the charts. Look at these positions in a solid twelve week stay inside the Top 10.

6 – 6 – 6 – 4 – 3 – 1 – 1 – 2 – 2 – 3 – 3 – 10

In short, it was a monster shifting 1.8 million copies in the UK alone, being our fifth best selling single of the year and also going to No 2 in the US Billboard Hot 100. So what was it about it the track that got under people’s skin so? Well, it was damned catchy with a singalong chorus that anyone could do but especially if your surname began with ‘Mc’ or ‘Mac’. Plus, it was a very smooth sound, almost effortlessly so. Much of that came from its sampling of “Genius Of Love” by Tom Tom Club which also featured heavily in Mariah Carey’s hit “Fantasy” from a few months earlier so maybe that triggered some brain muscle memory that appealed?

As for Morrison himself, he was not a pleasant individual and would never win any Citizen of the Year awards. I knew he’d been in trouble with the police but it wasn’t until I read up on him for this post that I understood the full extent of his law breaking. Perhaps the most famous incident was when he was sentenced to 12 months in Wormwood Scrubs for paying a lookalike to do 108 of his 150 hours of community service following his conviction for affray in a brawl in which there was one fatality. In an act of premonition, Morrison foretells his fate by wearing a set of handcuffs on his left hand in this performance.

Continuing the police presence in this show, here’s Gabrielle who wasn’t in trouble with the law herself at this time but she did have to help them with their enquiries. This was a case involving her ex-partner and father of her child who murdered his stepfather. Obviously, once the press got hold of the story and made the connection with Gabrielle, it was her name that hit the headlines not his but there was never any suggestion of the singer being involved in the murder. It wasn’t the greatest profile with which to relaunch her career though. However, “Give Me A Little More Time” was too appealing a song for any bad press to derail it and it became a Top 5 hit.

I should say, by the way, that tonight’s hosts (plural) are MN8 who are making the most of their brief time in the spotlight. I can’t say I approve of their banter so far especially the feeble joke about a band trying to be like Oasis called, The Ants…The Spiders…no The Beatles. Come on guys, that’s awful! Anyway, “Real Love” was the second single to come out of The Anthology project following the massively disappointing “Free As A Bird”. Based around another unfinished John Lennon demo, at least this one doesn’t sound like an ELO B-side despite the involvement once again of Jeff Lynne in a producer role. The video is the predictable montage of archive clips of the band integrated with some new footage of Paul, George and Ringo recording their contributions to that original demo. It doesn’t seem to have such a defined narrative as the promo for “Free As A Bird” which was meant to be from the perspective of a bird in flight. It also doesn’t have that grainy animation effect which its predecessor did but, personally, I think it’s all the better for that.

I don’t recall this but apparently Radio 1 refused to play “Real Love” on the basis that they were a contemporary music station and the latest release from The Beatles wasn’t what their listeners wanted to hear. Oh dear. Whilst falling short of calling it a ban, Radio 1’s stance caused a reaction from Paul McCartney (the return of the Mc?) who wrote an 800 word article in the Daily Mirror expressing his disappointment and that he could hear the influence of The Beatles in a lot of the then contemporary music. He had a point when it came to Oasis at least. In an act of contrition, station controller Matthew Bannister agreed for a ‘Golden Hour’ of Beatles music and that of those artists influenced by them to be broadcast.

The sixth take of the “Real Love” demo is the first track on the soundtrack to the 1988 documentary Imagine: John Lennon which I owned at one point. The official 1996 release of it would be the last new Beatles song released in the lifetime of George Harrison who died in 2001. In 2023, the final ever Beatles single “Now And Then” was released but thankfully I won’t have to review that.

OK, I quite liked the MN8 intro for this next one. One of them says “There’s Motörhead, Radiohead, Beavis and Butthead now there’s Technohead” while his pal keeps interrupting him saying he wants to be a hippy. “Go away and be a hippy then” the first one exclaims in exasperation finally. Look, it’s hardly Derek and Clive or Morecambe and Wise but it amused my tiny brain OK?! Talking of which, the brainless “I Wanna Be A Hippy” was purely for the feeble minded. The TOTP producers couldn’t get enough of it though it seems. Despite having fallen down the charts twice (and gone back up once), staying at No 9 (after peaking at No 6) for two weeks was considered enough chart traction for another (a third?) TOTP appearance. It would hang around the Top 40 for a further five weeks before departing by which point their follow up single was out and straight into the Top 20. Oh joy!

Wait…what?! Peter Andre had a hit in this country before “Mysterious Girl”?! I wouldn’t have believed it but here’s the evidence literally in front of my eyes. “Only One” was already at its peak of No 16. The aforementioned “Mysterious Girl” would be his subsequent single release and it would be that song that really broke him when it went to No 2. He followed that up with two consecutive No 1s before 1996 was over meaning he had four hits in that calendar year. Who would have thought that 28 years later, this perma-tanned, baby oiled berk would still be appearing on our TV screens long after his pop career was over?! What is his enduring appeal? I just don’t get it.

If I had to say something about “Only One” it would be that it’s not as bad as “Mysterious Girl” but that’s like saying Rishi Sunak isn’t as bad as Liz Truss. Both are horribly useless but one couldn’t outlast a wilting lettuce. Sadly Peter Andre’s career could.

Next up is Robert Miles who is up to No 2 with “Children”. In my mind, for no discernible reasons other than they’re both instrumentals and they were both in the charts at the same time, this record is always linked to the theme tune to The X Files by Mark Snow which we’ll see on the show in a couple of episodes time. As for this show, if you look closely in the Top 10 rundown, you can see there’s some editing gone on. The graphics for Robert Miles does not include the title of the song. Here’s @TOTPFacts with the reason why:

Whether this was the right decision or not, it was kind of undermined by what’s reported in the second half of the tweet above.

By 1996, and this might well upset some people, is it fair to say, in terms of the charts, that Gary Numan was becoming a one trick pony? Hear me out. He’s here on the show to perform his only* solo No 1 hit “Cars” – retitled as “Cars (Premier Mix)” – due to its use in an ad campaign for Carling Premier beer.

*”Are Friends Electric?” was released under the Tubeway Army banner

The last time he was in the TOTP studio? 1987. And what song was he performing then? Yes, another remix of “Cars” (this time restyled as the ‘E’ reg model mix). In total, the song has been released four times as a single if you count the original 1979 issue and a further rerelease in 1993 when it peaked at No 53. The 1996 version would get to No 17 and would be backed by a Best Of compilation called “The Premier Hits”. Money for old rope? Almost certainly.

Now, that’s not to say that Numan wasn’t busy recording in all the intervening years. He was – he’s released 22 studio albums and 51 singles so far in his career but would you have noticed unless you were a die hard fan? Ah yes, those fans, the so-called ‘Numanoids’. I’ve said before that I never enjoyed a good relationship with that particular fan base. Why? Because they were a massive pain in the arse when I worked in record shops that’s why! Endlessly ringing up to ask about release dates for their hero and then disputing the information I gave them. Always just a synth riff away from starting an argument. I’ve never been that keen on Numan himself either – all that endorsing of Margaret Thatcher (which he has publicly regretted since) and then marrying a member of his fan club. Then there’s his industrial rock sound that has dominated his later work. Not for me thanks though I can appreciate his pioneering part in the synth pop movement and his influence on subsequent artists. I’ve not got a totally closed outlook you know. I’m pretty open-minded and in touch with my caring side. You could say I’m a new man (ahem).

We arrive at one of the more notorious TOTP appearances, not because of the quality of the performance nor what the band were wearing but because of a much more…well, legal matter. As announced by hosts MN8, for the first time on the show was a totally unsigned act. Yes, it’s time for the curious footnote of pop music history that was/is Bis. Having formed at school in Woodfarm, East Renfrewshire this trio found themselves on the UK’s premier music show on prime time TV despite being unknown to the vast majority of the watching millions. How did this happen? It seems to be down to just one man who was a fan. Handily for Bis, that man was TOTP Executive Producer Ric Blaxill. What are the chances?! Now, as for that “unsigned” claim, it turns out that unknown doesn’t mean unsigned as they were actually on the indie label Chemikal Underground which was started by Scottish band The Delgados to release their first single. Other artists on the label’s roster included Arab Strap and Mogwai though their only UK Top 40 single came courtesy of Bis. The song performed here – “Kandy Pop” – was taken from their “The Secret Vampire Soundtrack” EP and would make No 25 in the charts.

Listening back to it now, I do wonder what all the fuss was about as it’s the sound of some over excited teenagers let loose in a recording studio and thinking that they’re the future of pop music. All very underwhelming. Maybe I felt different about it at the time – I can’t recall. Amazingly, this wasn’t their only UK Top 40 hit as in November 1998, “Eurodisco” went to No 38 (they were on the Wiiija label by this point). Bis split in 2003 but reconvened in 2009 and are still a going concern today and have toured with the likes of Foo Fighters, Garbage and…wait…Gary Numan?! That must surely have come about after they both appeared on this TOTP?! Maybe they got along well in the Green Room post show?

Take That remain at No 1 with their (sort of) valedictory single “How Deep Is Your Love”. In the last post, I said that I hadn’t realised how many units they’d shifted of their albums, seeing them as purely a singles band (in their first incarnation). However, their (first) Greatest Hits album released at this time would easily outsell two of those three studio albums with only “Everything Changes” marginally out performing it. Maybe they were a singles artist after all?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNegative
2GabrielleGive Me A Little More TimeNah
3The Beatles Real LoveNo but I had a version of the demo on that Imagine: John Lennon soundtrack
4TechnoheadI Wanna Be A HippyNever
5Peter AndreOnly OneAs if
6Robert MilesChildrenI did not
7Gary NumanCars (Premier Mix)No
8BisKandy PopNope
9Take That How Deep Is Your LoveNo but my wife had their Greatest Hits CD

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001zyvf/top-of-the-pops-14031996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 22 FEB 1996

Welcome to another instalment of TOTP Rewind, the blog where I, a man who turned 56 yesterday, reviews past episodes of the legendary pop music show and who, despite having lived through this era and worked in record shops for nigh on the whole of the 90s, often has zero recall of some of the acts and songs featured. Don’t let that put you off though! I remember some of it – honest! To help stimulate my brain into activity, and I haven’t done this in a while, I’m going to check in on what I was up to in early 1996 in my personal life (I will get to the music eventually I promise!). Well, I was working at the Our Price store in Stockport and had been there for about a year following the closure of the Market Street, Manchester shop. Retail was hard work but the product was exciting and the staff all pretty much got on with each other (usually) so there were regular after work drinks in the town’s hostelries.

My life was ticking along nicely then until it was rudely interrupted by me being called up for jury service. If you’ve never done it, I can say that it was both fascinating and terrifying. I don’t know if it’s still the same as I’ve not done it since but you were expected to serve for a minimum of two weeks with the courts meeting the costs of your wages. Two weeks off work might have sounded great and indeed day one was spent just sitting around waiting to be called onto a jury which I wasn’t. I remember I was reading Trainspotting by Irvine Walsh and pretty much finished the whole book that day. First thing on day two though I was selected for a jury. Watching the defence and prosecution making their cases in court was fascinating. It wasn’t until they’d finished and you had to go and discuss the case as a jury that it became real and that was the scary bit. That 17th century saying describing the make up of a jury as “twelve good men and true” was a load of bollocks I was to discover and I don’t mean the obvious flaw that women have been serving on juries since the 1920s. I vowed there and then never to get in trouble with the law because if my misdemeanour went to court, the calibre of people deciding your fate could not be guaranteed. I won’t go into any details of the case but one bloke came to his personal verdict straight away based on what the accused looked like, refused to consider any counter arguments and sat there reading his copy of The Sun for the rest of the day. As we couldn’t come to a verdict we were all agreed on by the end of play, we started to wonder what would happen. Would we have to stay overnight in a hotel like in the movies? Fearing this might be the case, The Sun reading bloke started to panic saying he was meant to be going out with the lads that night and so offered to change his mind if it would help! I was appalled! In the end, we were just told to go home and not talk about the case.

When we reconvened the following day, The Sun reader assumed his original stance and we were subsequently dismissed as a jury as we were taking to too long to come to a verdict for this type of case (an historical one brought years after the event with no physical evidence). The experience has stayed with me ever since. Back to the TOTP though and I wonder if there are any acts on tonight who should be tried for crimes against popular music?

Well, “I Wanna Be A Hippy” by Technohead must surely have some charges to face. As established in a previous post, this was an example of gabber dance music, a subgenre of hardcore techno and definitely not happy hardcore as I initially surmised. What it undoubtedly was, of course, was hideously irritating crap that, horror of horrors, also refused to shift from your brain for hours once heard.

I can think of no more of a condemnation of it than to point out that its chart peak of No 6 was actually bettered by a parody of it by The Smurfs later in the year retitled as “I’ve Got A Little Puppy” which got to No 4 despite featuring the lyric “I take it for a walk, pooper pooper scooper”. Talk about dog shit!

I seem to be getting very bogged down in definitions of dance music currently and here’s another one. After the gabber strand of Technohead comes the Dream house of Robert Miles. At least host Lisa I’Anson had the good grace to name check the sub genre in her intro meaning I didn’t have to do too much research into working out which category it belonged to. “Children” was another of those mid-90s hits like “Missing” by Everything But The Girl that stayed on the UK charts for months. Ten weeks inside the Top 10 (of which the first seven were spent at either No 2 or No 3) and sixteen in the Top 40 in total. Quite remarkable for a tune that initially was not included on Radio 1 daytime playlists. No matter though as the UK, just like the rest of Europe where it went to No 1 in twelve different countries, was unable to resist its charms. Characterised by a floating, ethereal piano riff, was it just Jean Michel Jarre for the 90s? I don’t know enough about the “Oxygène and “Équinoxe” hitmaker to make an informed judgment but it was certainly worlds away from the headache inducing relentless beats of the likes of the aforementioned Technohead and thank god for that!

Apparently, Miles created “Children” to help combat a tragic consequence of rave culture, namely that of clubbers falling asleep at the wheel of their vehicles after a night of strenuous dancing combined with alcohol and drug use. Dubbed ‘strage del sabato sera’ (Saturday night slaughter) in Italy, Miles wanted to compose a a calming track to end a DJ set to help the crowd acclimatise before heading home. I had no idea about any of that until now. It was just that instrumental dance track that I sold over and over the counter in Our Price.

Here’s a question. How do you follow up the biggest hit of your career which knocked down barriers that had previously excluded you from a wider audience and brought you into the mainstream consciousness? Well, if you’re Björk, you turn your back on that breakthrough hit and return to your original style and principles and resume your rather experimental music career. Reading that back, it sounds rather glib and possibly inaccurate. Or is it actually correct? Let’s examine the evidence. The case for the prosecution is that surely anyone not previously familiar with Björk’s oeuvre but who loved and bought “It’s Oh So Quiet” were not going to be tempted to continue that purchasing trend by the next single “Hyperballad” were they? A skittering, jerky, bleeping track about throwing objects off a cliff in the early morning before your partner awakes to symbolise the parts of yourself you must sacrifice in order to make a relationship work, this was a return to the Björk of old wasn’t it?

The case for the defence is that the track was critically acclaimed by the music press. Look at these reviews:

…excellent example of music meeting art”

Diver, Mike (2009). “Review of Björk – Post”. BBC. Retrieved 25 November 2020.

“…a delightful track that all fans of quality music will enjoy.”

Baltin, Steve (9 March 1996). “Pop Singles”. Cash Box. p. 7. Retrieved 14 November 2022.

“All fans of quality music” eh? Well, that’s me told. Added to that is the fact that “Hyperballad” was a UK Top 10 hit and that Björk had just won a BRIT award for International Female Solo Artist would suggest she was hardly a cult figure any longer and that she had already crossed over into the mainstream quite successfully thank you very much. The verdict? The blogger is guilty of anti-Björk bias m’lud.

Next a duo who were continually accused of committing the crime of making bland and unworthy pop music – will the Lighthouse Family please rise! In their defence, their hit “Lifted” was co-written by Martin Brammer who was the vocalist in the rather excellent 80s band The Kane Gang who knew his way around a tune and indeed is an Ivor Novello Award nominee. The prosecution would level the charges that he’s also written songs for Olly Murs and Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys. My verdict would be that though not a fan, there are much more heinous musical misdemeanours to be offended by although the claim on Smooth Radio’s website that Lighthouse Family are “one of the most popular duos of all time” may result in litigation from Simon & Garfunkel, Soft Cell, Erasure, Pet Shop Boys…

From a duo to a trio now as it’s yet another appearance on the show for 3T and their hit “Anything”. I’m so bored of this lot and their drippy ballad that the only thing that will keep me watching is to see if the one in the hat has brought his backpack with him and whether he’ll dramatically throw it down on the floor again…

*keeps watching…*

He’s definitely got it with him…

*still watching…*

Pow! He’s slam dunked it again! Now cart them all off to jail. It is beyond reasonable doubt that they are guilty of assault and battery of my ears.

It’s time for the Battle of Britpop Version 2.0 that nobody ever talks about (apart from me) probably because it wasn’t really a proper thing. We all know that Blur won said battle in the summer of 1995 but there was nearly a repeat the following year. Perhaps deliberately, Oasis and Blur missed clashing release dates of their first singles of 1996 by a week meaning there was not officially a rematch of the two bands duking it out for the No 1 spot. This was probably just as well in the case of Damon and co as they would have been stopped in the first round by their northern counterparts. “Stereotypes” was the third single released from “The Great Escape” album and its chart high of No 7 was pretty respectable. However, when “Don’t Look Back In Anger” came out seven days later, its sales dwarfed those of “Stereotypes”. Well, they did in Our Price Stockport anyway. I’m pretty sure I have these figures correct – by my memory we sold 429 CDs of the Oasis single in week one but just 13 of Blur’s. Ooof! No wonder Noel Gallagher felt cocky enough to give this message to camera at the top of the show:

“Good evening Top of the Pops. Best band in the world, live and exclusive…and it’s not Blur”

To rub salt in the wound, the TOTP producers have got both bands in the studio together tonight and are letting Oasis perform two tracks after they’d already walked off with three BRIT awards (to Blur’s zero) three days earlier but to Blur’s credit, they seem to have taken it all in good grace with Damon acting all playful around Lisa I’Anson as she introduces them. As for “Stereotypes” as a song, it’s not the band’s best work by any measure. A functional, Blur-by-numbers track to my mind but supposedly it had originally been earmarked as the lead single from the album. Now if that Battle of Britpop had been “Stereotypes” v “Don’t Look Back In Anger” instead of “Country House” v “Roll With It”, we might have had a different winner.

And so to those naughty Manc lads who, as previously mentioned, have been allotted two songs on the show which was not a regular occurrence then or at any point in TOTP history. As far as I’m aware, only The Beatles and The Jam were given that honour previously. The Fab Four’s double appearance was way before my time but I distinctly remember The Jam performing double A-side “Town Called Malice” and “Precious” in 1982 as my Weller obsessed elder brother sat watching transfixed. Fast forward 14 years and it’s self confessed Jam fan Noel Gallagher taking up the baton from his hero. “Don’t Look Back In Anger” was the second of eight No 1s for Oasis and in truth, its success was no surprise. With the album “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” having already been out four months and gone multiple times platinum, you might have thought that a fourth single being lifted from it was destined to not pull up any trees sales wise as so many people already had it. However, such was the buzz around this huge anthem and so long had we known that it would be coming out as a single (it was initially due out in early January but was delayed by five weeks) that there was huge anticipation for its release.

I understand the criticisms that are levelled at it (and many other Oasis tracks) that it’s so derivative and steals from other songs. There’s the “Imagine”-esque piano opening, the lyric pinch from the legendary John Lennon memoirs cassette that was stolen from the Dakota Hotel, the similarity to “All The Young Dudes” and my own personal discovery that the chords are almost the same as those of “Ralph McTell’s “Streets Of London” and yet…I still think it’s a great song, possibly their best. I think there’s a valid claim here that this song and 1996 in general was the high point of the band’s career. Sure they wouldn’t release any new material for another 18 months but this was the year of the Maine Road gigs (more of them later) plus the two nights at Knebworth House where they performed to 250,000 people but could have sold 10 times the amount of tickets. I don’t think they were ever bigger than at this point. 1997 would bring the difficult third album “Be Here Now” and the whole cringey ‘Cool Britannia’ nonsense and subsequent years would see the band change the line up though remain popular but not be the phenomenon that they once were.

I certainly recall thinking this double TOTP performance was a big deal. The way Liam goes “yeah, yeah, yeah” to the studio audience as he crosses over with Noel as if to say “settle down, of course we’re playing another and we’re the only band who can do this because we’re the best”. That second song was their cover of Slade’s “Cum On Feel The Noize” which was one of the three extra tracks featured on the CD single. For some this was a lazy, hammy choice of song to cover but I loved it especially the piss taking Black Country accents the band put in at the beginning and end of the track. Well, I was 28 years younger then and I guess my sense of humour wasn’t as mature (?) as it is (?) now. The other tracks on that CD single were “Underneath The Sky” which didn’t have that much going for it in retrospect but which I thought was perfectly fine back then and “Step Out” which was a gloriously effervescent song that unfortunately gave more credence to the claims of those who were not Oasis fans that Noel just kept stealing other people’s work when it was found to be so similar to Stevie Wonder’s “Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” that the soul legend had to be credited on the track.

So returning to those aforementioned Maine Road gigs, I did get to the Saturday one but I nearly missed out altogether. I knew that they were going on sale from the Manchester Apollo box office and the Apollo wasn’t that far from where we were living. As it happened, the day they went on sale was one of those when I was on jury service. This was great news as it meant I didn’t have to worry about getting to work and also gave me a bit of extra time as the courts didn’t open until about 10ish. Nothing could stop me getting those Oasis tickets now…except the monstrously huge queue that I found when I arrived at the Apollo. I thought I was getting there in time for the box office to open but hadn’t banked on the number of people who had camped out overnight to be at the head of the queue. I joined the back of it and looked at my watch. The queue wasn’t moving quickly and all that time that I thought I had was now not looking like nearly enough. So couldn’t I have just stuck it out and tuned up late at court? Not an option. On a previous day I’d witnessed a fellow jury member return late from lunch by a few minutes delaying the start of the afternoon session. The judge asked him how much his lunch had cost. “Five pounds” came the reply. “Add a zero to that and that’s how much your fine is for being late back” pronounced the judge. As I got closer to the box office window, the minutes were slipping away. I got to within six or seven people from the front of the queue before time ran out and I lost my nerve. I just walked away from the queue and headed into town to do my public duty. Fortunately for me, my mate Paul (the chef from last week’s post who liked to play rap music loudly while washing his whites in our flat) was on the case and got tickets for us all so I did go to the Oasis ball after all.

The “Spaceman”’s orbit has started to decay and he’s crashing back down to earth. Yes, it’s the fifth and final week at No 1 for Babylon Zoo and what a strange ride it was. The nation lost its head over the music on a 30 seconds jeans advert causing the full track to be released. Only then did the truth come out that it wasn’t what the advert had promised but we gave a collective shrug of our shoulders and went out and bought it in our droves anyway. Jas Mann got to be the pop star who he always believed it was his destiny to be for a little while before suffering a backlash that this country always reserves for people deemed to have been too successful. We might see Babylon Zoo on TOTP again in these repeats as there were a couple of minor hit singles in the wake of their No 1 but their time in the spotlight was waning faster than a shooting star across the sky. Unlike “Starman”, “Spaceman” didn’t blow our minds, at least not for long anyway.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1TechnoheadI Wanna Be A HippyNever
2Robert MilesChildrenNo
3BjörkHyperballadI did not
4Lighthouse FamilyLiftedNah
53TAnythingNope
6BlurStereotypesNo but I had The Great Escape album with it on
7OasisDon’t Look Back In Anger / Cum On Feel The NoizeYes sir!
8Babylon ZooSpacemanI am going to admit to buying it but not for me for a friend who was obsessed with it so she could use my staff discount – honest!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001zj0c/top-of-the-pops-22021996?seriesId=unsliced