TOTP 04 OCT 1996

We are well into the Autumn of 1996 here at TOTP Rewind as we enter the month of October and big changes are afoot. No, I don’t mean the show’s new opening titles but rather the fact that Manchester City have just appointed a new manager – Steve Coppell replaced Alan Ball two days after this TOTP aired. This was big news where I worked in the Our Price store in Stockport where many of my colleagues were City fans. Coppell had done wonders over two separate stints at Crystal Palace and big things were expected of him but his reign would last just 33 days and 6 matches after which he quit stating that the pressure of the job was to big for him. What I remember most of this time was that in those 33 days, the Man City calendar for 1997 came out and had a team photo on the cover with Coppell front and centre. The calendar company and the club must have been so pissed off. What were the chances? With Stockport not being far from Manchester, we stocked the calendar and decided we would try and hide the recently resigned Coppell’s face with the price sticker to try and make it seem like it wasn’t an already out of date product which, let’s be fair, is not a good look for a calendar. Anyway, I wonder if there are any artists on this show that had a similarly short career in pop music?

Our host is ‘Tony from Terrorvision’ (that’s was his official name around this time) who looked like he might have a potential career in the media if the whole rock star thing didn’t work out. To be fair to him, his appearance on Never Mind The Buzzcocks was very good and indicated that a projected media career wasn’t so fanciful. He starts his shift by introducing Sleeper and their latest hit “Statuesque”. The fourth and final single released from “The It Girl” album, it also drew a line under their most successful period. By the time that third album “Pleased To Meet You” came out in the Autumn of 1997, Britpop was in its last vestiges and with no zeitgeist to ride, reaction to it was cool with neither of the singles taken from it making the Top 20. For now though, it was success as usual. “Statuesque” was very much in the same style as its predecessors from the album and secured a No 17 chart peak and a third hit for the band in this calendar year. However, the winning formula of the music wasn’t translating into a ring of confidence when it came to Louise Wener’s stage presence. I’ve said it before but she does look a bit uncomfortable up there in terms of knowing what to do with herself when not singing into the mike. She just sort of shuffles about, swinging her arms and flicking her hair. They could have at least given her a guitar to strum.

Rivalling ‘Tony from Terrorvision’s’ profile at this time, Louise would appear on the Vic Reeves/Bob Mortimer TV game show Shooting Stars in December of this year. Actually, the pair would mirror each other’s extra curricular TV appearances with Wener also appearing on Never Mind The Buzzcocks in 1997 having already presented TOTP six months prior to Tony’s slot here. All of this must have only highlighted the gulf of recognition between Louise and the rest of her band mates whose anonymity was seized upon by the music press who referred to them as “Sleeperblokes”. They took it in good spirits though even having T-shirts produced for them to wear with the phrase on the front.

Steve Coppell-ometer: Burnt brightly but briefly in their heyday but were saved from a higher score by reforming in 2017

We’re still in the ‘techno bollocks’ stage of Everything But The Girl’s career and I still can’t get in board with it. “Single” was the third single taken from the “Walking Wounded” album that had seen them take a more electronica direction following the huge success of the Todd Terry remix of “Missing”. This track, like its predecessors from this era, just sounds a bit ‘meh’ to me (for want of a better word). If I’d been out at a club on an all nighter and I’d made it back home in the early hours and wanted some comedown music to chill out to as the sun came up, then maybe “Single” would be a good choice in that scenario but as I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I’ve been in that situation…

I had wondered if “Single” was a clever marketing ploy as per the one used by Public Image Ltd back in 1986 when they released an album called “Album” (the CD version of it was called “Compact Disc” and the cassette format “Cassette”). Its lead single was a song called “Rise” but was packaged as being called “Single”. Sadly, Everything But The Girl’s song was just about being single, as in not in a relationship. Miserabilists.

Steve Coppell-ometer: A very low score for Ben and Tracey who recorded under the Everything But The Girl banner between 1982 and 2000 before resurrecting it in 2021 and releasing the “Fuse” album in 2023. They have also been in a relationship with each other for decades finally marrying in 2009. So they didn’t really know anything about being single did they?

It’s another female lead vocal now. Having gone from a band to a duo we now get a solo artist. Gabrielle’s career might have gone another way after her debut single “Dreams” went to No 1 in 1993. She could have been a classic one hit wonder but a series of follow up hits ranging in size from minor to middling to mighty meant that her time as a pop star would carry on until the present day. “If You Really Cared” was one of those middling sized hits I would suggest, peaking at No 15. It strikes me as typical Gabrielle fare, smooth R&B pop, very radio friendly (some of the guitar parts put me in mind of “You’re The Best Thing” by The Style Council) though not likely to last long in the memory. There’s only really the aforementioned “Dreams” plus “Rise” and “Out Of Reach” from her back catalogue that I could tell you how they went.

There is something else to say about this song though and it’s this: why did Gabrielle put out a single so close to the scheduled release of her duet with East 17? Everyone clearly knew it was in the pipeline as ‘Tony from Terrorvision’ describes her as the drinking partner of the boys from Walthamstow and the TOTP caption says ‘Soon releasing duet with East 17’. “If You Really Cared” was made available in the shops on 23 September whilst “If You Ever” came out on 21 October. Was that really an advisable strategy and whilst we’re at it, having the titles of both singles start with the word “If” – would they not have been slightly confusing for punters and indeed record shop staff?

Steve Coppell-ometer: Hardly a blip on its radar which is understandable given she’s been a recording artist for over 30 years

Things I know about LL Cool J:

  1. He’s a rapper non
  2. He had a hit in the 80s called “I Need Love”
  3. He’s also an actor (though I couldn’t name any of the films he’s been in)
  4. The name LL Cool J stands for Ladies Love Cool James
  5. Erm…that’s it

Clearly that list doesn’t include this hit “Loungin’” so this must have passed me by despite going to No 7 in our charts. So back in the day, did the word loungin’ mean something other than relaxing (probably) on a sofa? Was it a forerunner of Netflix and chill? Well, the online urban dictionary gives a definition of:

The act of a girl lying across a guy’s chest with her head on his shoulder. Usually undertaken while on a sofa watching a film.”

Frodrick Frankenstein February 4, 2009

Hmm. Kind of a Netflix and chill vibe then. “Loungin’” would the first of a run of five UK Top 10 hits for LL Cool J including a No 1 with his version of “Ain’t Nobody” for the Beavis and ButtHead Do America soundtrack. Well, there’s something to look forward to then. Ahem.

Steve Coppell-ometer: Cool James hardly registers a flicker with a career stretching into five decades

This week’s ’flashback’ section features a very famous TOTP performance – it’s Rod Stewart doing “Maggie May”. Yeah, that one with a very hirsute John Peel miming the mandolin. Apparently Rod was told he couldn’t have a non musician up there with him but he insisted on Peel being part of the performance with the latter having to guarantee the Musicians’ Union that he hadn’t received payment for the privilege. The TOTP cameramen were instructed not to focus on Peel but Rod got wind of this and so indulged in some horseplay in and around the DJ so that he would be caught in shot on camera. The performance as a whole is a riot of ill discipline with The Two Ronnies Laine and Wood disappearing off stage mid song meaning that they missed their miming cues whilst scrambling back to their original positions. Sadly in this clip, we don’t get to see the infamous scenes of Rod, Wood and Laine kicking a football about on stage as the song finishes.

“Maggie May” was Stewart’s first solo No 1 and has become perhaps his most enduring song though my first awareness of him would be via his 1975 No 1 “Sailing” which my Mum and Dad liked. They weren’t the only ones. Apparently ex-footballer turned pundit Alan Shearer replied “Sailing by Rod Stewart” when asked by then Blackburn Rovers team mate Graeme Le Saux to name his favourite song ever. Shearer would have been in his early to mid 20s at that point! Le Saux, who is two years older than Shearer and was all about the likes of Jamiroquai at the time, was (perhaps rightly) flabbergasted.

Steve Coppell-ometer: Are you mad?! Rod’s 80 in January and still going strong

There are only nine songs on this TOTP as opposed to what has become the standard ten and I can only assume that was to allow the show to feature the six minutes long video of Celine Dion performing “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”. As ‘Tony from Terrorvision’ says, “it goes on and on and on…”. The way that the decks were cleared to accommodate it is similar to the special treatment reserved for a Michael Jackson video exclusive – I know she was shifting some units but really?! You don’t have to listen to the song for long to realise it’s a Jim Steinman composition – legend has it that his on/off pal Meatloaf wanted to record it but Steinman told him to hang fire and he could have it for “Bat Out Of Hell 3” but then gave it to Celine to record. Also unimpressed by that decision was one Elaine Caswell, singer with all female group Pandora’s Box who Steinman put together in the 80s and who first recorded “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”. Apparently, the original recording just had her vocals removed and Dion’s added over the top. Elaine was so upset that she couldn’t bear to be in the room if Celine’s version came on the radio. Supposedly Caswell collapsed five times whilst laying down the track in the studio. It is not known whether it was due to physical exhaustion from all that overwrought singing or that the rancid stench of the song overpowered her senses causing her to faint.

As for the video that TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill seems to have made such a fuss over, it’s all very derivative with a “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” promo vibe detectable and substantial nods to the movie Ghost and even to The Rocky Horror Picture Show* present. Celine emotes all over the place and the whole thing feels like it wasn’t really worth all that bother. “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” would take Celine to No 3 in the UK and No 2 in the US. All of this and we haven’t even got anywhere near that Titanic song yet…

*That bit where the ghost of her dead lover drives his motorbike in the house reminds me of Eddie riding his round and round the stairs before he is ultimately despatched by Dr. Frank-N-Furter with an ice pick. Eddie was, of course, played by Meatloaf.

Steve Coppell-meter: Nothing doing here. Despite health issues, Celine still has the desire to record and perform live. She completed an eight year residency in Las Vegas in 2019.

On and on and on…do you think ‘Tony from Terrorvision’ knew that as well as poking fun at Celine Dion that he was also referencing a song by the next artist. Longpigs would rack up four chart hits in 1996 – “On And On” was the second of them peaking at No 16. This one though – “Lost Myself” – was the fourth and final single to make the Top 40 for them in that calendar year. I thought I didn’t know this one but I did remember it when I watched this performance back – the hook of lead singer Crispin Hunt pausing momentarily between the words ‘live’ and ‘by’ in the lyric “to live by myself I’m far too weak” was very arresting and immediately rang a bell. It did strike me as unusual that there were two bands in the charts at this time with lead singers with very similar and… well…let’s have it right, quite posh sounding names in Crispin Hunt from Longpigs and Crispian Mills from Kula Shaker. Still, what’s in a name. I mean, I couldn’t tell you if that’s a Barbie or a Sindy doll strapped to Hunt’s microphone. Actually, what was that about?

Steve Coppell-ometer: Finally an artist who shows up on it. Longpigs were only in existence for seven years and bar one minor chart entry in 1999, all their hits came in this year.

As in the previous two years, Boyzone (now elevated to being the UK’s premier boy band after the demise of Take That earlier in 1996) looked to that old chestnut of a cover version to secure themselves a massive hit. Having taken both “Love Me For A Reason” by The Osmonds and “Father And Son” by Cat Stevens to a chart peak of No 2, the band’s decision to record a version of “Words” by the Bee Gees would reward them with their first UK chart topper. Sound logic but was it all becoming just a little bit cynical? Off the top of my head, I can think of at least another two covers that they released as singles in Tracy Chapman’s “Baby Can I Hold You” and Billy Ocean’s “When The Going Gets Tough” (the second one was for Comic Relief at least) so it’s a concept they weren’t done with yet.

“Words” was originally a No 8 in 1968 for the Bee Gees and you can see why Boyzone (or their management) chose it. A wistful, weary ballad that suited Ronan Keating’s wistful, weary voice perfectly and of course, it had that Gibb Brothers stardust that so many other artists had found themselves sprinkled with when covering a Bee Gees song. The lads seem a bit overdressed here in all that stuffy clobber of large coats, scarves and ties – they must have been sweltering under those studio lights. What do they care for what I’m writing about them though? It’s only words.

Steve Coppell-ometer: Nothing registering here. The lads would carry on until 2000 and then again from 2007 to 2019.

And so to the No 1 and it’s “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something and what a divisive chart topper it was. Literally the worst song ever for some online commenters, it was also undoubtedly popular at least briefly. Where do I stand on it? Well, I certainly wouldn’t describe it as the worst song ever but is it a great track? Probably not. However, look it up on YouTube and there are so many videos of people having a go at playing the song – it seems to be quite the busker’s favourite and if the mark of a song is how many times it’s been played then, at least that’s one thing it’s got.

Steve Coppell-ometer: Finally a massive score on this. They came, they saw, they conquered… and then they disappeared having spent as many weeks inside the Top 10 as Coppell had games in charge of Manchester City – six.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1 SleeperStatuesqueDecent song but no
2Everything But The GirlSingleNot happening
3GabrielleIf You Really CaredNope
4LL Cool JLoungin’Negative
5Rod StewartMaggie MayNo but my parents liked it
6Celine DionIt’s All Coming Back To Me NowNever
7LongpigsLost MyselfI did not
8BoyzoneWordsNah
9Deep Blue SomethingBreakfast At Tiffany’sNo

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0024hpb/top-of-the-pops-04101996?seriesId=unsliced

Cannot

TOTP 02 MAY 1996

When I write these reviews, I try and make reference to what else was going on at the time of the show’s broadcast either nationally, globally or indeed personally on occasion. Well, I’ve made a discovery on the last of those angles – I’ve found an old diary from 1996. I’d forgotten that I used to keep one from about 1991 to 1997. I can’t find the rest of them which were presumably lost in various house moves but the ‘96 one is intact. Now obviously I’m not going to reveal my inner most thoughts from back then but it might prove to be a gold mine for filling in some background details. So what was I doing on the day of this particular TOTP?

*refers to diary*

Ah excellent! It was my day off (I was working in the Our Price store in Stockport) so what did I do with it? I went into town to pay our council tax bill! The 27 year old me knew how to live back then! In my defence, I don’t think I paying bills by direct debit was commonplace in 1996 and though I was no poll tax rioter, I probably wanted some control over when I paid it on account of permanently being skint. Paying bills wasn’t the only thing I was doing though. In an unlikely push to better myself, I was doing two courses at this time. One was a First Aid class and the second was about 50s music. Get me! These days I struggle to read an online article in its entirety. I also note that on this day, Glenn Hoddle accepted the offer of becoming the next England manager and would be leaving my beloved Chelsea at the end of the season. I write this post the day after Gareth Southgate has just resigned as national team coach following England’s loss to Spain in the Euros 2024 final. Whilst it may have seemed as if the appointment had come a bit early in Hoddle’s career, he looked like Pep Guardiola compared to the current crop of names being lined up to replace Southgate. Graham Potter?! Do me a favour!

Now this is all very interesting (or not) but what about TOTP? What about the music? You’re right of course so let’s get to it and we start with “Ooh Aah…Just A Little Bit” by Gina G. Despite having been on the show at least twice already, she’s back on tonight in another promotion push as the UK’s 1996 Eurovision entry with the contest just over two weeks away. Due to the multiple appearances, Gina and her backing dancers were step and word perfect by this point and I have to say it all hangs together pretty well. Gina seemed to be channeling her inner Kylie with her glittery micro dress and wide, perma-smile and why not? One of her dancers (the one in the pink dress) looks a bit like ex-EastEnders actress Samantha Janus who of course represented the UK at Eurovision in 1991. It isn’t her but she had me fooled for a while or perhaps I should say just a little bit.

In a recent TOTP repeat, we witnessed the sad spectacle of Miss Diana Ross making a fool of herself by covering Gloria Gaynor’s disco classic “I Will Survive” as she searched desperately for a hit to keep her relevant in the mid 90s. I said at the time of reviewing her performance that we would be seeing and hearing another cover of the track very shortly and that time is now. Chantay Savage (nothing to do with Robbie, Lily or Doc) however took the track in a completely different direction, slowing it down so much that it was reconstructed as an R’n’B ballad. Although it did little for me, I give her full marks for creativity. Sadly, such imagination was lacking when it came to naming her album which was called “I Will Survive” (Doin’ It My Way)” – a more literal title it’s hard to conceive. Chantay would never have another UK hit single in her own right though she did co-write “We Got A Love Thang” for CeCe Peniston in 1993 which went Top 10.

I should have said that tonight’s host is the very affable Michelle Gayle who is perhaps being slightly disingenuous when she says in her intro to The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad and their hit “Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)” that she doesn’t know if United will win the league and FA Cup double for the second time in three years. History records that the Red Devils did indeed do the ‘double double’ in 1996, a view that was obviously not available to Michelle seeing as those events were yet to happen but I’m pretty sure that they were red hot favourites to do so. Three days after this TOTP aired, Fergie took his team to Middlesbrough, easily won 3-0 and secured the Premier League title having successfully hunted down Newcastle United who led the table by 12 points in January, Kevin Keegan rants and all. Six days on from that, they were at Wembley for the FA Cup final against a Liverpool side who were no slouches but neither were they anywhere near the great teams of their 70s and 80s history. It would have been a shock (albeit a mild one) had the Scousers triumphed. As it turned out, the 1996 final was a terrible game with Eric Cantona’s late winner sparing us the misery of extra time. The fact that the final is best remembered for the Liverpool squad’s horrendous cream suits says everything.

Alex Ferguson’s United were in the middle of their 90s pomp but at least their dreadful cup final song for this season didn’t replicate the success of its 1994 counterpart “Come On You Reds” which inexplicably topped the charts. The good news is that unless they released one for the 1999 FA Cup final which formed part of their historic treble (I can’t recall if they did or not) this should be the last time I have to review any more of their singles. The bad news is that we haven’t seen the last of football related hits in 1996 by a long chalk.

Blimey! This next song is as dull as my diary! If I thought 3T’s last hit “Anything” was as drippy as the roofs of some of the stadiums at EURO 2024, I hadn’t reckoned on its follow up “24/7”. Jacko’s nephews have tried to inject a slightly more uptempo beat to it than its predecessor but it seems to just shine an even harsher light on how insipid a tune it is. The guy who dramatically flung his rucksack to the ground during performances of “Anything” (I’ve no idea which one he is out of Taj, Tyrell and TJ) seems to have lost his prop for this single – maybe the song wasn’t his bag (ahem).

I’m guessing that after being introduced by Chris Eubank the other week as “an absolute tottie’, Sleeper’s Louise Werner might have expected a less suggestive intro from a fellow female artist but Michelle Gayle can’t resist referring to her as “sexy” and lumping her in with similarly categorised pop star Louise (“she’s called Louise – aren’t they all?”). Louise and her band (now I’m at it, making it all about the female lead singer) are into the Top 10 for the first time with “Sale Of The Century” and to celebrate, she’s come in a top that is appropriately Britpop in style. In fact, what with that and her jumping and hopping stage moves, she’s coming across like a feminine version of Damon Albarn (more of whom later). At least she’s not just standing there statuesque (see what I did there?).

Louise would go on to be a successful author post Sleeper and before their reforming in 2017 writing both fiction and an account of her music career Just For One Day: Adventures In Britpop (also published as Different For Girls: My Truelife Adventures In Pop). The blurb for that autobiography includes the line “eating Twiglets backstage and enviously eyeing up Damon Albarn’s plate of foreign cheeses”. Don’t cheddar tear over him Louise! It’ll ruin your mascarpone. These cheese puns are starting to grate now aren’t they?

As is the case with Erasure, there’s a list of every Pet Shop Boys single in my memory banks from 1985 to the early 90s that I’m pretty sure I could recite in its entirety. However, as is also the case with Erasure, it all starts to go a bit hazy around the mid 90s when, despite working in record shops for the entire decade, I must have taken my eyes off what both duos were up to. “Before” is a case in point. This track is definitely not anywhere to be found in my ageing grey matter cells. It was, however, the lead single from sixth studio album “Bilingual” which was actually Chris and Neil’s first since 1993’s “Very”. However, there had been Pet Shop Boys releases in the meantime in the form of the collections “Disco 2” and “Alternative” which were a remix album and B-sides compilation respectively.

“Bilingual” didn’t appear until the start of September so “Before” preceded it by four months making it feel like a stand alone single which maybe explains why I don’t remember it. I do recall second single “Se a vida é (That’s The Way Life Is)” which came out a few weeks before the album which is presumably why I would have sworn that was its lead single. Why the early release date for “Before”? I’m not sure but Wikipedia tells me that in 1995, Neil and Chris ended their contract with the American arm of EMI and singled with Atlantic who launched a renewed marketing campaign to promote the duo in the US so maybe that had something to do with it? Or maybe they wanted to consolidate on the success they had achieved with their collaboration on “Hallo Spaceboy” with David Bowie in the February and didn’t want to leave a gap of six months until their next single? Either way, I’m not sure “Before” deserves all this retrospective attention and consideration as it’s a pretty weak track in my opinion. Sure it was a Top 10 hit but the Pet Shop Boys fan base would always guarantee that for a release of brand new material. It’s not terrible it’s just not that memorable. Listening to it now, I could imagine its chorus being sung by (the horror!) Take That on one of their 90s hits. Even the video is just full of special effects and computer graphics which seems to dominate all their promos around this time and which showed a lack of foresight as they have dated so much as to appear naff now if not…erm… before.

The last time The Cure were on the show performing “The 13th” I wasn’t especially complimentary about the song. I’m not the only person who has a downer on it. A regular reader of this blog commented that the whole album it was taken from – “Wild Mood Swings” – was such a disappointment when it came out and the fact that “The 13th” was one of the better tracks on it shows how poor it was. Online forums seemed to be split in their judgement on it. Some people rate it in their Top 10 songs by The Cure whilst others state (and I quote) “The 13th is justifiably shat on by most fans” and that “it sounds like something brought up from the sewer”. On reflection, have I been too harsh? Sure, it’s a bit out there and maybe not what we might have expected but look at their back catalogue. The Cure have always innovated and reinvented themselves. Look at the difference between “The Walk” and “The Lovecats” first example – two non-album singles that were released within four months of each other in 1983 but were years apart sonically it seemed to me. If only “The 13th” could have peaked at No 13 instead of its actual high of No 15, my musical itch would have been scratched.

If asked to come up with a song by the Smashing Pumpkins then “Tonight, Tonight” would be the only track I could name with total confidence. Nothing to do with the Genesis hit which almost shared the same title (theirs had an extra ‘Tonight’ in it), there’s a reason why this one has stood tall and proud in my music recollections – it’s magnificent. A sprawling epic masterpiece, it was recorded with a 30 piece string section courtesy of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. It’s one of those rare songs where the standout hook of the chorus is actually purely instrumental with no vocal, well for me it is anyway. Those swooping, descending strings allied to rousing guitars and a galloping drum riff – remarkable stuff. Somehow though it didn’t make me explore their material any further. Maybe I should do now that investigating an artist’s back catalogue is so much easier due to streaming platforms like Spotify. As for host Michelle Gayle’s claim that although it was the band’s first appearance on the show that she was sure it wouldn’t be the last, as far as I can tell, they never made it back to the TOTP studio despite having a further five UK Top 40 hits.

George Michael is straight in at No 1 with “Fastlove” just as he did with previous single “Jesus To A Child”. This was impressive stuff given it was all happening at the peak of Britpop and George’s chart toppers had been a melancholic ballad and then a funky, R&B workout. The successful streak continued when parent album “Older” was released eleven days after this TOTP aired and immediately went to No 1, going on to sell 1.8 million copies in the UK. It was quite a comeback given his last studio album had been six years earlier.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had consecutive No 1 singles. His first two solo hits “Careless Whisper” and “A Different Corner” both scaled the heights albeit two years apart and punctuated by a raft of Wham! releases. If you count his 1987 duet with Aretha Franklin “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” then it’s three on the bounce. Similarly, if you go back to George’s involvement in the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and his version of “Somebody To Love” on the “Five Live EP” in 1993, then there’s also a run of three No 1s including “Jesus To A Child” and “Fastlove”. However, despite a subsequent string of No 2 hits, the latter would prove to be his final UK chart topper.

Perhaps lazily, when talking about the Battle of Britpop in the Summer of 1995, the phrase ‘Blur won the battle but Oasis won the war’ is often trotted out. This translates as “Country House” beat “Roll With It” to No1 but in terms of albums, “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” sold loads more than “The Great Escape”. Whilst that is true with the former achieving sales equivalent to seventeen times platinum compared to the latter’s three times, Blur’s fourth studio album sometimes unfairly gets a bad rap. Yes, all the critical plaudits go to “Modern Life Is Rubbish” and “Parklife” for being musical milestones and I don’t disagree but if you apply a purely statistical analysis, “The Great Escape” is the only Blur album to furnish the band with four Top 10 hits including a No 1. 1997’s eponymous follow up album came close to matching that accomplishment but was let down by fourth single “M.O.R.” peaking at No 15. The fourth single from “The Great Escape” was “Charmless Man” which is a decidedly decent song that doesn’t have the profile it maybe deserves with TOTP not contributing to it by only showing 30 seconds of its video over the closing credits. Said video features the actor Jean-Marc Barr as the titular protagonist who would be one of the actors regularly employed by the controversial film director Lars Von Triers in his movies. In this very year of 1996, the first of his Golden Heart Trilogy of movies was released. Breaking The Waves though, is one of the most miserable films I have ever seen – truly charmless.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Gina GOoh Aah…Just A Little BitI did not
2Chantay SavageI Will SurviveNo
3The Manchester United FA Cup Final Squad Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)Never!
43T24/7I’ll give you one guess…
5SleeperSale Of The CenturyNope
6Pet Shop BoysBeforeNegative
7The CureThe 13thNah
8Smashing PumpkinsTonight, TonightApparently not but I really should have
9George MichaelFastloveIt’s another no
10BlurCharmless ManNo but I had The Great Escape album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020sr3/top-of-the-pops-02051996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 25 APR 1996

We have arrived at one of the most infamous episodes of TOTP certainly of the 90s, maybe ever. It’s that show with Chris Eubank. Why was he presenting the nation’s favourite music programme? Well, he’d retired from boxing in the September of 1995 having failed to regain his super-middleweight title from Steve Collins. However, he would return to the fight game later in 1996. For now though, he was seen by executive producer Ric Blaxill as a suitable choice for the ‘golden mic’ slot. As far as I can tell he was one of only three sporting celebrities to host TOTP with the others being footballer Ian Wright and jockey Frankie Dettori. All three you could argue have a personality that transcended their sporting fame – Wright is exuberant and Tigger-ish, Dettori is cheeky and likeable and Eubank…well, he’s eccentric if not downright odd. I’m actually quite intrigued to see what he says in his links to camera. Ding! Ding! Round one!

Eubank starts by introducing himself (as if he needed to) by giving us his full nomenclature including his middle name Livingstone. It’s pretty impressive as middle names go but nobody will ever top ex-footballer Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey. He then says something about the forthcoming “goodies” on the show and that he’s feeling “effervescent”. It’s a nervous, stumbling start – he needs to get a few punchy lines in to settle him down. The act he introduces are Babylon Zoo and their second hit of the year “Animal Army”. I said of this song when the video was shown the other week that it had traces of both Oasis and the Stone Roses about it and listening to it again here, I’m even more convinced of that assertion. Try closing your eyes and just listening to this performance – see what I mean? Anyway, Jas Mann has grown a spattering of facial hair and is wielding a guitar for this performance which we never saw during the “Spaceman” weeks. I presume he was trying to establish some musicianship credentials on the hunt for credibility points but I’m not sure he really wins that fight. Following what would turn out to be the third biggest selling single of the year in the UK was always going to be a bout too far but its peak of No 17 was probably a little on the harsh side on reflection. Babylon Zoo would stagger on for one final round before being KO’d when third single “The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes” peaked at No 32.

Eubank looks like he’s on the ropes already, appearing dazed and confused and uttering barely remembered lines instructing us to “enjoy the show”. He needs to rally and quickly. Whilst he takes a break between rounds and gets some encouragement from his corner man, we get a performance of the latest dance hit to cross over from the clubs to the charts. “Keep On Jumpin’” was originally recorded by US disco act Musique in 1978 but didn’t trouble our charts until it was revived by The Lisa Marie Experience who took a version of it to No 7 in the UK Top 40 and to the top of our Dance Chart. Despite their name, this lot were actually two male house DJs Neil Hinde and Dean Marriott (aka D. Ramirez). They would go on to remix tracks for the likes of Sash, Eternal, Robin S and Inner City. “(Keep On) Jumpin’” (no brackets, no points) would be their only chart hit as The Lisa Marie Experience though. I’m assuming that their name was inspired by Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis and Priscilla, who, at this time, was in the process of divorcing perhaps the most famous person on the planet Michael Jackson. I’m guessing they were hoping to trade subliminally on the news headlines that the couple would have been generating? Is that a known marketing strategy?

As for their hit, they couldn’t get clearance to use a sample of the original track so had to record their own version of the chorus which they do pretty faithfully with convincing disco strings to the fore. Having not been a UK hit in the 70s, the song found itself in the Top 10 twice in the space of a few weeks in 1996 when a much more housed-up version by Todd Terry featuring Martha Wash and Jocelyn Brown peaked at No 8.

Eubank throws a cryptic curveball with his next link, setting the mathematicians in the watching audience a brain teaser – “how long does it take a lady to make that step?”. What was he on about? I can only assume he was referring to the first video of the night for “The Box” by Orbital. In it, actor Tilda Swinton plays an alien-like character who observes Earth and its inhabitants in stop-motion giving the impression that she is operating outside of temporal constructs before disappearing whence she came. It’s all very The Man Who Fell To Earth which apparently was the inspiration for the promo according to its co-director Jes Benstock. Was its stop-motion effect what Eubank was being obscure about in his intro? Another question I have is how famous was Tilda Swinton at this point? I’m thinking not that well known beyond the art house crowd as most of her credits up to this point were for a clutch of Derek Jarman films. This was well before her roles in The Beach, Vanilla Sky and The Chronicles Of Narnia franchise. If my guess is true, then her smaller profile would only have added to her portrayal of the mysterious protagonist of the video.

As for the track itself, “The Box” would become one of Orbital’s bigger hits peaking at No 11. It sounds like the soundtrack to a 60s spy thriller but with a few dance beats thrown in. Maybe the duo of brothers Phil and Paul Hartnoll were in training with their eye on the prize of an actual film soundtrack which they achieved the following year with their reworking of the theme to the 1997 remake of The Saint which gave them their second consecutive No 3 hit following the rather disturbing “Satan Live”. In 2000, they would continue with the soundtrack work when they contributed a track (with Angelo Badalamenti) to the aforementioned The Beach movie.

Eubank’s landing some blows now (or at least he thinks he is) with some more enigmatic words. This time, he says “We live in a country where the minds of the people are manipulated by the press. Think about it”. I mean, he’s not wrong and nearly 30 years later that is still the case but why was he prompted to say that at this time? Was he having a particularly bad time with the tabloids? In his early pugilist career, he hadn’t enjoyed a good relationship with the press who depicted him as arrogant and with ideas above his station with his flamboyant sartorial style and posturing or as his Wikipedia entry puts it ‘the man you love to hate’. After he’d lost his boxing title and was supposedly retired from the fight game, would he have still attracted so much attention? I guess by presenting TOTP he was hardly shying away from the public counting his money in his expensive mansion was he?

Definitely on the covers of the music press would have been Ash who were onto their third (and ultimately biggest) hit in “Goldfinger”. I guess this would have been a breakthrough moment for the band – their first time inside the Top 10 and it came with a single that was released a good six months after their last hit. Momentum could easily have been lost. “Goldfinger” not only consolidated that previous success but went beyond it. To do that, the band had to come up with a bloody good tune and they did that. I used my words carefully there – it’s a good tune but not a great one to my ears in the respect that I think they’ve got better songs. Still better than most of the garbage in the charts though. Watching this performance back, I’m struck by how much Tim Wheeler looks like Vernon Kay? Odd(job).

Eubank is finding his feet now and getting a combination together. He’s not stumbling over his words so much and is addressing the audience in a more direct way informing us that he’s got something next to get us “absolutely freaking” before describing it as a modern day version of “Knees Up Mother Brown”. Who can he be talking about? It’s Technohead of course and their latest hit “Happy Birthday”. Yes, the people who brought us “I Wanna Be A Hippy” thought we could do with another dose of their dumbo brand of high speed, happy hardcore nonsense and duly delivered unto us a second hit. It’s a carbon copy of its infuriating predecessor but that didn’t stop UK punters from buying it in enough numbers to send it to No 18 – just bonkers. That’s also the word I would use for this performance which is a riot of idiots jumping around maniacally for the duration of the ‘song’. And what was the recreation of the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party all about? Ever wondered why the hatter was mad? Well, apparently it was an actual condition arising from the use of mercury in the Victorian era to cure pelts in the hat making process. When the mercury got into the systems of the hat makers, it gave rise to mental health problems including dementia hence the phrase. In terms of Lewis Carroll’s character in Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, some analysis suggests he was written this way to highlight some of the most irritating and unpleasant traits of human nature. ‘Irritating’ and ‘unpleasant’? Well, that explains it then as “Happy Birthday” by Technohead was nothing if not irritating and unpleasant.

P.S. The Emily who Eubank says happy birthday to in his intro is presumably his daughter Emily whose 2nd birthday it had been six days before this TOTP aired.

Oh dear. Eubank makes a misstep in his next intro although in 1996, I’m not sure his choice of words would necessarily have tripped him up. Would we have winced at him describing Louise Werner of Sleeper as “an absolute tottie” back then? I like to think I would have but I can’t be sure. Also, would Eubank’s Nicholas Parsons reference have hit home with the TV audience in 1996? The game show that Parsons presented that shared its name with Sleeper’s single ran from 1971 to 1983 so had been off our screens for 13 years by this point. I think that particular punch line might have failed to hit its intended target.

Just like Ash earlier, Sleeper were at a pivotal moment in their career with the release of their first Top 10 single “Sale Of The Century”. Also just like Ash, it came six months after their last hit so it was an important moment momentum wise. In terms of the song itself, it was arguably just more of the same Sleeper sound that previous hits “Inbetweener” and “What Do I Did Now?” had established. That shouldn’t be seen as a criticism though. They had a successful formula and were giving the people what they wanted. What’s that? Couldn’t the same argument be applied to Technohead? Erm…no. Why not? Well…I didn’t like them did I? That’s fair enough isn’t it? I think it is. Interestingly, Louise Werner doesn’t have her guitar with her for this performance and she seems a bit lost without it. Not knowing quite what to do with herself, she resorts to a few skip and jump movements. She should have floated around the stage Muhammad Ali style, throwing a few jabs, ducking and weaving. I’m sure Chris Eubank would have been even more enamoured with her than he already was.

It’s round seven and Eubank rallies with an intro that sits well with the esoteric, faux-existential quotes he specialises in. It also shows that he knew something of the band he was introducing. “Now here’s a group to make you philosophise and think” he pronounces before the Manic Street Preachers fill our screens. There’s no doubting that the Welsh rockers have a canon of work that displays a certain intellectual rigour with their influences ranging from Nietzsche to Camus to Chomsky and much wider. Was it possible that Eubank was a Manics fan or just that he’d done his research? Whatever Eubank’s truth, the band were telling us that theirs was that they were definitely still a going concern despite the disappearance of Richey Edwards via the success of “A Design For Life”. Ironically, the song’s best known lyric – “We don’t talk about love, we only wanna get drunk” – in which the band highlight the working class’s right to do so, would be sung back to them by crowds of middle class festival goers. Think about that as Chris Eubank might have said.

OK, we nearly at the KO moment for Eubank. The moment when Chris is dealt a blow he can’t recover from. When the BBC4 audience, with our prior knowledge of what’s coming, look on with a building sense of schadenfreude until suddenly it’s here…and Chris Eubank has to introduce Suggs singing “Cecilia”. Why was this a big deal? Because of our host’s lisp of course – it’s not a great look is it? Taking the piss out of a speech impediment. Six years on from this, Gareth Gates would win the hearts of the public on Pop Idol with his singing and looks but also because of his determination to not let his stammer prove too big an obstacle in his pursuit of becoming a pop star and recording artist. I guess Eubank’s perceived arrogance and eccentric demeanour meant he was never going to be afforded the same reaction.

His intro for the actual performance by Suggs and Louchie Lou and Michie One of “Cecilia” has him on the ropes but the knockout blow comes during the Top 10 countdown when he has to say “At six, Cecilia by Suggs”. That moment was used in an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks in the a round called Freeze Frame which was basically a What Happened Next? section…

Go to 3:40 in for the “At thickth, Thethilia by Thughth” moment

Mark Morrison is still in pole position at the top of the charts and he’s still got his rather creepy handcuffs with him. The recurrent line “you lied to me” combined with Morrison’s style of delivery has made me ponder that “Return Of The Mack” is what you get if you combined “Ain’t No Doubt” by Jimmy Nail (“she’s lying”) with “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy. What a thought!

After the Suggs KO, the defeated Chrissy boy gives a reflective speech about being true to yourself before signing off with a cheery “Good bloody show”. To paraphrase Chumbawamba, you can knock Eubank down but he’ll always get up again. The play out song is something of an oddity called “That’s Nice” by Minty. If you don’t remember it (as I don’t), it’s probably because it never charted as far as I can tell. Yes, it’s another of those left field Ric Blaxill choices where he championed a track that would not actually become a Top 40 hit.

Minty was a vehicle for Australian performance artist, club promoter, fashion designer and friend of Boy George, Leigh Bowery. Wikipedia tell me that Minty were part of the Romo movement which I’d never heard of but which was short for Romantic Modernism and was characterised by a hotchpotch of musical genres including disco, glam rock and the New Romantics with its base camp being the club night Club Skinny in Camden. This track was a posthumous release as Bowery died from an AIDS related illness on New Year’s Eve 1994 though the project continued under the leadership of his long term female partner Nicola Bateman. I’m guessing now but was Leigh Bowery the inspiration for the character of Vulva from Spaced?

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Babylon ZooAnimal ArmyNot for me but for a friend. Honest!
2The Lisa Marie Experience(Keep On) Jumpin’No
3OrbitalThe BoxNot for me thanks
4AshGoldfingerNo but I have it on their Intergalactic Sonic 7″s compilation album
5TechnoheadHappy BirthdayAs if
6
Sleeper
Sale Of The CenturyLiked it, didn’t buy it
7Manic Street PreachersA Design For LifeNo but I had the Everything Must Go album
8Suggs featuring Louchie Lou and Michie One CeciliaNah
9Mark MorrisonReturn Of The MackNope
10MintyThat’s NiceAnd no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020ldh/top-of-the-pops-25041996?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 05 OCT 1995

We’ve entered October with these TOTP repeats and three days before this show aired, an album hit the shops that would prove to be a landmark release in UK music history. “(What’s The Story) Morning Glory?” by Oasis would shift 345,000 copies in its first week and spend 10 weeks at No 1 on the album chart in total. It would eventually go 17 x platinum in the UK alone and win a Brit award for Best British Album. It even broke through in America going to No 4 over there selling 4 million copies in the process. It spawned two chart topping singles and two No 2s. In short, it was a monster, a phenomenon even. After the Battle of Britpop in the Summer that had put record shops at the heart of the national news, this album was a slam dunk off the back of it for the takings of stores across the country. It sold and sold and sold and then it sold some more. It sold more than any other album in the entire decade that was the 90s. Whether you liked it or not, you couldn’t ignore it.

Something else that you couldn’t ignore but it would be hard to like are the comedy characters dished up for our entertainment by tonight’s ‘golden mic’ hosts Hale & Pace. So, I have questions. To start with, why were these two on the show in the first place? Well, the eighth* series of their TV comedy series was just about to air but that was on ITV so it can’t have been seen as an opportunity to plug one of the Beeb’s shows.

*I know! Eight! They even did a couple more before it came to an end in 1998.

Was it just that they had these characters Jed & Dave who were like the stoned rocker versions of Smashie & Nicey and so executive producer Ric Blaxill took a lazy decision to get them in as guest presenters? It certainly wasn’t anything to do with Comic Relief as we’d already had that in March. Whatever the reason, they were in the TOTP studio and were ready to annoy!

There may not be any of the aforementioned Oasis on tonight’s show but there is certainly some Britpop. We start with Sleeper who are just getting into their stride with their third and biggest hit of 1995 with “What Do I Do Now?”. The lead single from their second album “The It Girl” which would be released the following May, it built on the success and sound of previous chart entries “Inbetweener” and “Vegas” but if anything was even more radio friendly. With that sophomore album not making an appearance until well into the following year, its subsequent success would mean that Sleeper were never as big as they were in 1996. “The It Girl” would go Top 5 and sell 300,000 copies in the UK spawning four Top 20 hits including two No 10s.

The performance here seems to me to cement Louise Wener’s position as one of the faces of Britpop and what a face! Wide eyed innocence, wrapped up in knowing coyness and a smile that you knew meant she’d be the best person to have a laugh with down the pub. I caught Sleeper live at the Manchester Academy in 1996 and they were pretty good as I remember. I went with my mate Steve and I have a clear memory of him grooving away to “What Do I Do Now?” which was way more entertaining than anything Hale & Pace served up on this TOTP.

Oh come on! How many times is this now that Smokie and RoyChubbyBrown have been on the show? I think this is the third already. The success of “Who The F**k Is Alice?” was absolutely baffling to me. Were there really people up and down the country whom, having bought the single, took it home, put it on their stereo system, pressed play and then listened to it waiting for the chance to shout out “Alice? Who the f**k is Alice?!” at the top of the voices and then chuckling to themselves?! I guess there were mobile DJs who bought it and would play it at a birthday do they’d been booked for. That might account for some sales but this single stank out the charts for a total of 14 weeks on the Top 40 including 8 within the Top 10. It spent 9 consecutive weeks without once going down the charts. Surely wedding DJs can’t have accounted for all those sales?! And where was the outcry from the press about this record ?! Sure, it couldn’t be played on the radio unless it was a bleeped version but I don’t recall the papers in a meltdown about this youth corrupting filth. No, they were too busy getting their knickers in a twist about another chart hit but more of that later.

By the way, Hale & Pace’s intro with one of them (I never did know which one was which) getting lifted in the air on a wire really wasn’t worth setting up as the punchline for a limp play on words. Give me Cheryl Baker instead any day…

Some West Coast hip-hop next from Cypress Hill. As a pop kid, this lot were never really going to be my bag though I did quite like their previous hits “Insane In The Brain” and “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That”. This one – “Throw Your Set In The Air” – was the lead single from their third album “III: Temples Of Boom” but I have to say I don’t remember it. Cypress Hill were one of those ‘parental advisory explicit lyrics’ sticker artists which meant we weren’t supposed to play them on the shop stereo in the Our Price store I was working in at the time. Consequently, I was never that familiar with their work. I knew the album covers of such artists better than their songs due to the fact that the CD and cassette inlays were so nickable that we would keep them behind the counter and put a temporary, generic inlay out on the shop racks. This was in the days before the stock was security tagged and out on the shop floor live as it were. Rather pathetically, the hip-hop/rap artists would most likely be pinched by middle class white kids pretending they were from the hood (or something).

Another contrived yet duff intro from Hale & Pace about going metric and rhyming ‘a litre’ with Oleta ushers in the return of Oleta Adams. Yes, I was surprised to see her on the show again too. In my head, she had one massive hit single in the early 90s with her version of Brenda Russell’s “Get Here” (the success of which also catapulted her album “Circle Of One” to the top of the charts) and then nothing. This was plainly not the case though. Exhibit A, m’lud – “Never Knew Love”. The lead single from her “Moving On” album, its sound was nothing like the balladeering of “Get Here” but rather a competent if unremarkable R&B track – Oleta had indeed ‘moved on’.

Of course, I should have remembered earlier that in addition to “Get Here”, Oleta had added her considerable voice to the Tears For Fears hit “Woman In Chains” back in late 1989. By a pleasing quirk of fate, TFF were back in the UK Top 40 nine places below Oleta this week with their single “Raoul And The Kings Of Spain”. However, by this point, Curt Smith had left the band and it was essentially a Roland Orzabal solo track. By the way, I’m pretty sure that’s Shirley Lewis on backing vocals in this performance who was married to Luke Goss of Bros fame for 23 years before splitting in 2017. She clearly did “Drop The Boy” though I have no idea if there is any truth that Luke said of the divorce settlement “I Owe You Nothing”. I know – I’m looking for my coat as I type.

After their first appearance in the TOTP studio since 1980 the other week, Iron Maiden are back on the show again though clearly the experience scarred them as they have put a distance of approximately 3,000 miles between them and London for this second performance of “Falling Down”. Obviously, that’s not the reason – they’d played a gig in Jerusalem and then travelled to the ancient fortification of Masada to record this footage. It’s a stunning backdrop and is another example of the show’s executive producer Ric Blaxill’s vision of taking the satellite performances away from empty concert halls and giving them landmark locations instead.

However, I’m not sure that the helicopter views aid the song. It just makes the band seem small, inconsequential and rather silly against such a massive vista. I’ll leave the final word on this though to a Twitter user who posted this rather sage observation:

Robbie Williams wasn’t the only high profile departure from a successful five piece group in 1995. Louise Nurding left Eternal amid unsubstantiated rumours that a prominent US radio station dedicated to music made by black artists wouldn’t promote an interracial group. Rather obviously, a solo career beckoned and after a small rebrand (Nurding possibly wasn’t the best name for a pop star), Louise emerged with her debut single “Light Of My Life”. Now, I remember this as being a huge ballad but hearing it back, it’s quite a slight thing really. Written by Simon Climie of Climie Fisher fame, it never really gets going despite all those strings in the mix trying to beef it up. More 40 watt bulb than incandescent theatre spotlight. Watching this performance, Louise’s miming doesn’t seem very convincing somehow. Not that she’s out of sync or forgets the words or anything like that but just it all seems a little artificial – most strange.

Louise would go onto have a procession of hits including nine Top Tenners and two platinum selling albums. I know, I wouldn’t have believed it either if I hadn’t read it for myself. She would shed the girl next door image and then some by the time of her hit “Naked” but that’s for a future post. Let’s not get to that point too quickly (ahem).

And so to the hit that the British press couldn’t turn a blind eye to as they seemed to be able to with “Who The F**k Is Alice?”. Pulp’s double A-side single “Mis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s And Whizz” had careered into the UK charts at No 2 – we’d seen the band perform “Mis-shapes” on TOTP two weeks earlier as an exclusive preview. However, it was the second song that had caused controversy. Now, clearly its title contained some rather in your face drug’s references but that didn’t seem to bother the BBC as Jarvis Cocker is allowed to sing the lyrics without any censure* in this show.

*I think they may have shortened the title to just “Sorted” for the caption on that performance of “Mis-Shapes” though it is restored to its full, corrupting glory here.

And why would he have? If you listen to the lyrics, Jarvis isn’t pro recreational drugs but rather he’s pointing out what a hollow experience it ultimately is; that it’s just an artificially induced high and that the comedown can be brutal. He was writing from personal experience of attending raves and taking Ecstasy but at no point does he condone drug taking. The actual song title had come from something a girl he knew had said about going to see the Stone Roses at Spike Island in 1990. All she could recall of it was loads of dodgy looking geezers going around asking people if they were sorted for E’s and Whizz. Talking of the Roses, Pulp stood in for them at that year’s Glastonbury at the last minute whilst I myself was working in the Our Price store in Stockport alongside the late and very great Pete Garner who was their original bass player. I distinctly recall Pete saying that he couldn’t believe that Pulp had got away with releasing a single called “Sorted For E’s And Whizz”.

However, one newspaper in particular was determined to publish a story of outrage about the song and so turned their attention to the CD single’s cover which included an illustration of how to fold a speed wrap (though it doesn’t mention anything about it being used for that purpose in the text). The Daily Mirror went all in on this “sick stunt” as they called it with the article being written by one Kate Thornton later of X Factor fame. Here’s @TOTPFacts with the details:

DJ Neil Fox jumped on the bandwagon and refused to play it on his show and in the end, the band pulled the artwork and replaced it with something non controversial. With echoes of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s “Relax”, all the press attention just increased sales of the single. Jarvis used both these TOTP appearances to make wry observations on all the fuss. In the “Mis-Shapes” performance, he channels his inner Bob Geldof and reads a copy of the Daily Mirror with that front cover during the middle eight and in this one, he finishes the song by producing an origami bird sculpture. Nicely done Jarvis.

One of the most interesting hits of the year now as we get Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave with “Where The Wild Roses Grow”. Everybody at the time was talking about how had this duet come about, so unlikely was the pairing – Cave, the gothic Prince of doomy art rock with the intimidatingly deep voice and Kylie, the Princess of Pop. Really though, there was no great story behind it. They were both Aussies and Nick really liked Kylie and so he wrote a song for her. Well, I say ‘liked’ but in his own words Cave described himself as having:

“…a quiet obsession with her for about six years.”

Jenkins, Jeff; Meldrum, Ian (2007). Molly Meldrum presents 50 Years of Rock in Australia. Melbourne, Vic: Wilkinson Publishing. p. 227. ISBN 978-1-921332-11-1.

Hmm. Doesn’t sound like the best starting point for a friendship but still. The song he came up with after a few ‘inappropriate” (his words again not mine) attempts was a murder ballad, that dark sub genre of the ballad form that told the narrative of a crime and (usually) gruesome death. I suppose that wasn’t your typical subject matter for a chart hit in 1995. However, it was quite brilliant – haunting, disturbing and yet beautifully melodic with both singers telling their version of the story superbly in tandem. It wasn’t just their differing musical backgrounds that made the duet so curious (though Kylie was well into her first career transformation from perceived SAW puppet to dance diva by this point) but their physical appearance. Cave has naturally…erm…striking (?) looks whilst Kylie has those fine, beautiful features but then there’s also the height difference – it really shouldn’t have worked but it absolutely did.

Around fifteen years after this TOTP performance, I did my own version of “Where The Wild Roses Grow” in a guitar class I was attending at the time, as a duet with a fellow student called Lisa. It even got recorded by the teacher. If only I could work out how to get it embedded into this post…

Simply Red are No 1 again with “Fairground” and this is already the third time in four weeks that it’s featured on the show. Mick Hucknall is, by all accounts, a massive…wait for it…Man United fan (you thought I was going to say something different then didn’t you?!) so no doubt he would have been delighted that his beloved team beat Liverpool in the FA Cup quarter final on Sunday just gone. Somebody who wasn’t impressed was my Hucknall despising mate Robin who texted me at the final whistle to say that United’s victory was the “footballing equivalent of a new Simply Red album”. I was just glad the result stopped Liverpool’s pursuit of a quadruple and thereby putting a spoke in the wheel of the media’s Jürgen Klopp love in. Jürgen Klopp…now he really is a “bleep” to quote Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown!

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1SleeperWhat Do I Do NowLiked it, didn’t buy it
2Smokie and Roy ‘Chubby’ BrownWho The F**k Is Alice?Away with you!
3Cypress HillThrow Your Set In The AirI did not
4Oleta AdamsNever Knew LoveNah
5Iron MaidenFalling DownNope
6LouiseLight Of My LifeNo
7PulpMis-Shapes / Sorted For E’s And WhizzNo but I had the album Different Class with them on
8Nick Cave and Kylie MinogueWhere The Wild Roses GrowNo but I sang it!
9Simply RedFairgroundNever!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001wsmh/top-of-the-pops-05101995?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 19 JAN 1995

Well hello there! It’s been a while hasn’t it? The Summer was one of inactivity at the towers of TOTP Rewind due to the enforced break caused by BBC4’s decision to pause their broadcast schedule for TOTP repeats. Having rampaged through 1994 at breakneck speed, the channel came to an abrupt stop just two shows into 1995 and commenced on a two month sabbatical from the chart hits of that year. Some immovable events took precedent like Glastonbury weekend and then there was The Proms but what seemed odd was that the programme schedulers found space to re-show TOTP episodes from the archives we’d already seen previously. Why didn’t they just allocate those slots to the 1995 shows? They’d clearly put some thought into it as the shows chosen for another airing were those that were broadcast on or near to the current date in 2023 – sort of like an ‘On this day in TOTP history’ mini series. I didn’t really get it but I was quite glad of the break from writing if I’m honest. All I had to do each week was tweet a link to my blog archive for my corresponding review of said shows. Brilliant!

Now, given the time elapsed since the last post, a quick catch up might be in order to remind myself about what I was up to in January 1995. Well, work wise I was still with Our Price and had spent Xmas ‘94 in the Market Street, Manchester store where I’d begun my retail career four years earlier. However, times they were a-changin’ and that shop had been sold on to a travel agents. Obviously the company had waited until after the busy Xmas sales period to pull the plug but once that had been and gone the countdown until the end was on. We had the ‘everything must go’ sale but I was focused on what would happen to the staff. As I recall, every full time member was offered alternative employment in another store (probably the Piccadilly shop) but my own future had yet to be decided. A return to Piccadilly wasn’t the most attractive option for me as I’d hated my five months there and to be fair to the company management, they didn’t send me back. All portents seemed to advise that another stint at the Stockport branch was on the cards for me and so it proved when I returned there to spend the next three and a half years in the Cheshire shop.

Before all of that though was the task of closing down the store. Once the shop had shut its doors for the last time, most people moved onto their new locations leaving just a skeleton staff to deal with the remaining stock etc. Come the very end, there were just two of us left – myself and the manager. It was a weird feeling turning up to work in those final few days with the shop basically a hollowed out carcass. My main memory of this period though involved the store’s fire alarm system. I can’t remember exactly why but there was a need for it to be turned off while some work by the shopfitters was carried out. The manager and I believed this had been done successfully but as soon as the work began, the alarm sprang into life. The realisation then hit us that the alarm was linked to the fire station and that a team of firefighters would have been immediately deployed to attend the scene. This wasn’t a pre-planned fire drill exercise after all. As the store was part of the Manchester Arndale shopping centre, we legged it down to the loading bay area below us so that we could be there to head off the firemen and reassure them that the shop was not ablaze. They duly arrived to find me and the manager looking very sheepish and apologetic. They were NOT amused and rightly so though we firmly believed the whole incident wasn’t our fault per se. Once again though, I apologise to the Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service.

Back to the music though and it’s time for the nose to become reacquainted with the grindstone so let’s crack on with 1995. Here’s hoping there were some hot tunes burning up the charts! Before the titles roll though we’re reminded that the show still has that direct to camera piece from an artist appearing that week advertising their forthcoming presence. This week it’s ‘The Walrus of Love’ himself Barry White who is back on the show for the first time in eight years. I can’t think of Barry White without thinking of this which I know is very disrespectful to his legacy but I can’t help how my brain works…

However, we start with those little scamps Ultimate Kaos who are back with their second hit single “Hoochie Booty”. Yes, despite having an average band age of 14 as detailed in the TOTP caption, Simon Cowell’s protégés were considered old enough to be singing a song about a sexually promiscuous woman’s bottom. At least I think that’s what the title refers to. I’m not completely clear on the lyrics but at one point they seem to be singing “she’s hangin’ out wit Judy Judy with the big ol booty” and then banging on about taking her home. Blimey! I didn’t know my arse from my elbow sexually speaking when I was 14 and certainly nothing about women’s bottoms! Maybe Ultimate Kaos were trail blazers though, paving the way for All Saints to have a No 1 in 1998 with “Bootie Call” and Destiny’s Child to score big with the track “Bootylicious” in 2001, a phrase that is now so immeshed in popular culture and language that it is listed in all the English language dictionaries and didn’t show up on spellcheck when I typed it earlier in this sentence.

As for the song itself, the newly adopted swing beat direction was clearly an attempt to extend the appeal of Ultimate Kaos to a wider (more mature) audience but it just comes across as inappropriate to me. I think the youth of today might describe it as “giving me the ick”.

Come 1995, the UK trip hop scene appeared to have a new poster group to spearhead it in the form of Bristol’s Portishead who’s debut album “Dummy” would climb to No 2 in our charts. However, anybody writing off OG act Massive Attack were hugely wide of the mark*.

*As a numerical demonstration of this, Massive Attack are at No 14 in this particular chart whilst Portishead are below them at No 15.

Although it had taken the band three and a half years to release a follow up to their iconic debut album “Blue Lines”, sophomore effort “Protection” was worth the wait. Sure, lead single “Sly” hadn’t set the charts alight but when the title track was released it couldn’t be ignored. As with their classic tune “Unfinished Sympathy”, “Protection” benefitted from the talents of a guest vocalist. In 1995, for Shara Nelson read Tracey Thorn from Everything But The Girl. In many ways, Tracey wasn’t an obvious choice. Despite realising a string of great material over the previous decade, their only charting singles since 1984’s “Each And Everyone” had been cover versions – “I Don’t Want To Talk About it” (No 3 in 1988) and their “Covers EP” (No 13 in 1992). However, despite the record buying public collectively cockn’ a deaf ‘un, Tracey’s voice remained and indeed remains to this day both beautiful and immediately recognisable. The song itself is effortlessly and elegantly melancholy yet has a stunning, haunting melody. Tracey herself contributed to the lyrics using her experience of caring for partner Ben Watt through his rare autoimmune condition Churg–Strauss syndrome as inspiration. I read Ben’s account of his recovery from the condition in his auto biography Patient many years ago and it’s a wonderful book. It was out of print for a while but is now available again via Bloomsbury. Worth seeking out. I wasn’t expecting to see Tracey with a guitar strapped to her for this performance and it seems to accentuate her tiny frame but then it does help with the song’s themes and she even sings at one point “Sometimes you look so small, you need some shelter”. Indeed.

“Protection” the single would make No 13 whilst the album peaked at No 4 and would go double platinum. Possibly off the back of this collaboration, Everything But The Girl would be reborn as electronic dance maestros after the Todd Terry remix of “Missing” sold over a million copies in the UK alone. The original version had peaked at No 69 when released six months prior to this TOTP performance.

The problem with having this massive gap time wise between 1995 episodes is that when you return to them, it creates the false impression that the songs featured must have been hanging around the charts for ages when in reality they haven’t. Take “Here Comes The Hotstepper” by Ini Kamoze for example. Even though it was only in its third week on the UK Top 40, it feels like it must be into double figures by now. Something about the progression of time in the present bleeding into the past maybe? Time really can bend your head if you think about it too hard. Having said all that, “Here Comes The Hotstepper” did plant its soles in the charts for weeks including nine within the Top 10 and four consecutively at No 4.

Famously, the track’s lyrics refer to a “lyrical gangster” but what exactly was/is a lyrical gangster? Well, the Songfacts website suggests that although the Jamaican term ‘Hotstepper’ signifies someone on the run from the law, in the case of Ini’s protagonist, he’s guilty of metaphorical murder as opposed to the literal stories of murder contained within the material released by gangsta rapper artists at the time. So that’s metaphorical not literal – got that? Good. Presumably the distinction between the spelling of gangster and gangsta was important too. Well, we’re back to dictionaries again as the Oxford English Dictionary does distinguish between them with the former referring to membership of organised crime groups and the latter as belonging to an urban territorial gang. Not sure that distinction supports the Songfacts metaphor argument to be honest. I think that’s enough of the semantics for now to be honest. One thing I am in no doubt about though is that the film that the song featured in – PrêtàPorter– was absolute garbage.

Somebody who definitely has been hanging around for ages is tonight’s host Bruno Brookes who was one of the Radio 1 DJs brought back into the fold at the beginning of 1994 by new TOTP executive producer Ric Blaxill when the ‘year zero’ revamp of 1991 was consigned to the dustbin. Don’t fret though, his charmed run on the show will be over soon. Before then though, he advises us about the new TOTP magazine that was due to appear on the shelves of your local newsagents imminently. Initially earmarked for the spot left vacant by the demise of No 1 magazine (of which I was a reader in the mid 80s and which BBC Magazines took over in 1990), its biggest claim to fame was surely coming up with the nicknames for a then fledgling Spice Girls in 1996.

Anyway, back to the music and here come a band that were inextricably connected to the Britpop movement whether they liked it or not. It could be argued that Sleeper only had themselves to blame having opened for Blur on their Parklife tour but the origins of the band lay way before that when guitarist Jon Stewart met Louise Wener at Manchester University in 1987. Following the familiar route of playing in various bands they finally morphed into Sleeper and were signed to Indolent Records (a subsidiary of RCA) in 1993. A handful of singles were released to critical acclaim but underwhelming sales before they broke through with “Inbetweener”. You can understand why as it’s a real ear worm with some great hooks. Watching Louise up there on stage for this performance she looks so confident and, well, powerful. Inevitably, as with Blondie in the late 70s / early 80s, Elastica rather more recently just twelve months prior and No Doubt three years later, the focus on the band centred around the female lead vocalist, certainly in terms of the media anyway. Louise had that girl next door look but with a glint in her eye and it worked for many a young male fan – I may have even been a bit taken myself. Erm…anyway, Wener was suddenly everywhere; NME front covers (and placing high in the publication’s rather laddish ‘Sexiest Woman’ poll, TV appearances on TFI Friday and The Word and even a turn in the ‘golden mic’ presenter slot on TOTP. All this attention was taken in good humour by the guys in the band who, unlike the aforementioned Blondie, didn’t seem too put out even when the music press coined the term ‘sleeperbloke’ to describe the anonymous other group members who faded into the background when faced with the harsh lights surrounding their more photogenic (and therefore deemed sometimes incorrectly more important lead singer).

As Britpop raged, Sleeper’s profile rose in parallel. 1996 brought a platinum album in the shape of “The It Girl” and four hit singles. They were an undoubted success. I caught them live around this time at the Manchester Academy. They were pretty good too as I remember. However, just as Britpop faded away, so too did Sleeper (thus adding to the perception of the band’s connection to the movement). 1997’s difficult third album “Pleased To Meet You” failed to hit the commercial highs of its predecessor and the band would split in 1998. Wener carved herself a successful career as a writer having four novels and an autobiography published and the band reconvened in 2017 playing live gigs and releasing new material for the first time in two decades.

By the way, if you Google the term ‘inbetweener’, once you’ve got past all the results for the antics of Will, Simon, Neil and Jay, you might see the Urban Dictionary definition of the term which refers to a sub group of people who are not cool enough to be popular but are not nerdy enough to be geeks. That’s a perfect description of my schooldays right there.

R Kelly’s misdemeanours mean that he’s been edited out of this show so it’s straight on to The Human League and their surprise comeback hit “Tell Me When”. The last time they were in the show I remarked on their curious decision to perform in a line rather than in the classic band formation and damn me if they haven’t done it again here! However, this time I’m more drawn to the idea that James frontman Tim Booth has seemingly invented a Time Machine and travelled back from present day to 1995 to be The Human League’s bass player. Complete dead ringer.

“Tell Me When” came from the band’s seventh album “Octopus” which gave them their highest chart position since “Hysteria” in 1984. Despite being around in one form or another for forty-five years, there have only ever been nine Human League albums or rather nine studio albums. There have however been thirteen greatest hits collections. Given the legacy left by 1981’s “Dare”, that hardly seems right but Phil, Joanne and Susan are much more of a live act these days regularly playing gigs and festivals. I caught them myself a few years ago at an open air venue in Hull. They were fine but the audience were not – too many people old enough to know better off their heads and being loud and lairy. In short, I didn’t like the sound of the crowd. I’ll get me coat.

And so to Barry White and I have to admit that, unlike Bruno Brookes who admits to owning all his records in his intro, I never really got his appeal but then I don’t think I was his optimum target audience. Was it just the unfathomably deep voice? Anyway, I don’t recall “Practice What You Preach” at all but it seems to be in keeping with his usual come-to-bed-and-make-sweet-music style. In fact, he actually seems to be in rather a hurry, exhorting his sexual partner to quit with the claims of how pleasure inducing the experience will be and to just get on with it. Heavens! I was rather surprised to discover that the single got as far as No 20 in the UK but then it was a No 1 record on the US R&B chart.

Now according to Bruno Brookes in his next intro, TOTP was a very important show to all the big stars, so much so that the next artist cut short her honeymoon to appear on it. Said star was Celine Dion who is on the verge of bagging herself a No 1 with her hit single “Think Twice” which is currently just one place off the chart summit. Was this true? Well, it could be I suppose – the chance of a No 1 and all that. I can imagine her record company stressing the importance of another bit of promotion on the UK’s premier music show to give the single that extra push. However, one thing doesn’t ring true – I checked the date when Celine got married. It was the 17th December 1994. Now given that this TOTP aired on 19th January 1995, that meant she’d been on honeymoon for over a month by this point! Really?! Well, she did marry one René Angélil who was her manager so I guess nobody was better placed to authorise an extended holiday for her than him!

And so to this week’s No 1 and it’s the same record as the last time I posted on this blog – “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex.

Look, I’ve got nothing left for this one so here’s Beavis and Butt-head’s take on it…

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Ultimate KAOSHoochie BootyNah
2Massive Attack ProtectionNegative
3Ini KamozeHere Comes The HotstepperNo but I think my wife may have
4SleeperInbetweenerLiked it, didn’t buy it
5The Human LeagueTell Me WhenNope
6Barry White Practice What You PreachNo
7Celine DionThink TwiceNo thought required – no
8RednexCotton Eye JoeAs if

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agre

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001qgbk/top-of-the-pops-19011995