Teletubbies

TOTP 19 DEC 1997

Posted on by 80stastic

Christmas is nearly upon us in the world of BBC4’s TOTP repeats and, unlike nowadays, there is much talk of who will be this year’s festive No 1. Some of the contenders in the race were:

  • The Teletubbies – “Teletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’”
  • Various Artists – “Perfect Day”
  • Spice Girls – “Too Much”
  • Robbie Williams – “Angels”
  • Chicken Shed Theatre Company – “I Am In Love With The World”

If you can’t remember who clinched the title then here’s a clue – they had silly names and there was a lot of controversy surrounding them. No, not the Teletubbies! It was the Spice Girls though I’m willing to bet a few of them had handbags to rival Tinky Winky’s!

Anyway, we’re not there yet. We still have one last show for the great and the good of the class of 1997’s pop cohort to promote their Christmas wares and we start with Natalie Imbruglia who is still in the Top 10 despite having spent the last two months in residence there. Although this was the era of singles debuting high and crashing out of the Top 40 completely within a fortnight due to record company first week of release discounting, there were still plenty of examples of hits that bucked that trend. Off the top of my head, just in 1997, there’s No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”, “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba, No Mercy’s “Where Do You Go”, All Saints’ “Never Ever” and “Encore Une Fois” by Sash! “Torn” was another such song. Look at these chart stats:

2 – 2 – 2 – 4 – 5 – 9 – 8 – 8 – 8 – 9 – 10

This week’s TOTP appearance was for one of those No 8 positions so presumably because it had gone back up the charts or was holding steady. In the week before Christmas, it seems a bit odd to be opening the show with a months old hit which would also feature in the Christmas Day show but there you go. Would there have been a discussion at her label RCA about deleting it to make way for the follow up single “Big Mistake”? If there was, it was clearly poo-pooed in favour of ensuring it wasn’t swallowed up in the festive rush and was held back for the much slower post Christmas sales period. Nearly thirty years on though, it all see seems a bit academic as despite a triple platinum selling debut album and ten UK Top 40 singles to her name, I’m willing to bet the vast majority of people could only name “Torn” when it comes to Natalie Imbruglia hits.

Here’s another of those songs that took up long term residency in the charts – “Angels” by Robbie Williams. This one spent twelve consecutive weeks inside the Top 10 whilst never going higher than No 4 thus undermining the faith that some of the bookies had in it to be the Christmas chart topper. Maybe some of that belief was based on the fact that:

  1. It was a ballad – always a winner at Christmas
  2. There appeared to be some sleigh bells somewhere in the mix in the intro
  3. There was an extra track on the CD single called “Walk This Sleigh”

History tells us, of course, that this was the single that saved Robbie’s career which got me thinking if there were other examples of this. The first that came to mind was “Instinction” by Spandau Ballet. After scoring their biggest ever hit with “Chant No. 1 (I Don’t Need This Pressure On)” in the Summer of 1981, their next two singles released for the “Diamond” album were chart failures. “Paint Me Down” only managed a humble peak of No 30 whilst “She Loved Like Diamond” was a sales disaster failing to make the Top 40 at all. Suddenly, the pressure was on and the band were in desperate need of a hit to resurrect their career. Enter Trevor Horn whose remix of the album track “Instinction” took them back to the Top 10 before the band became global superstars with “True”.

Then there’s the case of Culture Club. Having had demos rejected by EMI, the band finally signed with Virgin Records but after their first two singles had less longevity to them than TACO Trump’s tariff charges, there must have been concern within the record label that their charges were a dud. A last throw of the dice in third single “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me” saw the track receive support from David Hamilton on Radio 2 (which wasn’t the popular music playing station it is today back then) and a last minute TOTP appearance after Shakin’ Stevens cried off saw the world introduced to Boy George. Cue tabloid hysteria but also massive sales and pop superstardom.

Bringing it back to Robbie Williams, Take That struggled to find chart success in their early days with their first three singles getting no further than No 38. After all the promotional groundwork the band had done in clubs and schools, it was scant reward. A fourth single was given the go ahead but only with the safety net of it being a cover version. Their version of the old Tavares hit “It Only Takes A Minute” took them into the Top 10 and Take That are still with us 33 years later (albeit now as a trio).

Now I remember there was a Bryan Adams MTV Unplugged album because I recognise the cover but I couldn’t have told you that the lead single from it was called “Back To You”. However, I do know the song. How come? Because it was a staple of the early guitar classes I attended back in about 2009 as it turns out the chords to it are pretty basic. We used to start with this one to get us warmed up. Does that mean I liked it? It’s an OK track but it doesn’t come near to the power of “Run To You”. It actually sounds a bit twee in comparison. Still, those chords won’t learn themselves and a part of me will always be reminded of sitting in a circle and strumming along to its backing track whenever I hear it. Bryan’s original would make No 18 in the UK but was a No 1, rather predictably, in his native Canada.

I’m not sure if the bookmakers had this one down as a potential Christmas No 1 but then, in fairness to Ladbrokes, William Hill and the rest, the chart journey of “Never Ever” by All Saints was hard to have predicted. In at No 3 in its first week, it then fell for two consecutive charts before reversing the trend to spend three weeks at No 4 of which this TOTP appearance was one. It would finally top the charts for a solitary week in early 1998. Quite extraordinary really.

P.S. I like host Jayne Middlemiss’ intro where she really lets her Geordie accent come through when she says “Mel. Shaz, Nicki and Nat are gonna sing for wuh”. Lovely stuff.

What’s not so lovely though is the link to the next song which comes from one of the band themselves. Yes, introducing “If God Will Send His Angels” by U2 is Bono himself. What was this all about? A demonstration that the show’s profile was still so powerful that it could get superstars to record exclusives for it? Bono’s Christmas message includes him banging on about his kids wanting him to have a bath after returning from being on tour (how festive) before apologising for not being there with us (by which I presume he means in the studio) and therefore we get the promo for the single which was the fifth and last taken from “Pop”. I had totally forgotten about this one probably because it’s totally unmemorable. Even the by now over used record-at-slow-speed-and-then-sped-up video technique employed on the promo seemed old hat. It really is a bit of a dirge but it managed a chart peak of No 12 nonetheless. You could doubt the wisdom of releasing a fifth track from an album at the height of the Christmas singles rush – what did record label Island think was going to happen? The reasoning behind it seems to be the fact that due to the deadline of a pre-booked tour, the “Pop” album was rushed to market in what the group felt was an unfinished state. As such the band either remixed or completely remade the tracks taken from it for single release making them seem like more essential than usual purchases for the die-hards in the fanbase.

“If God Will Send His Angels” would also end up on the soundtrack album for the film City Of Angels (the clue to the reason why is in both titles!). I’ve never seen it but it starred Nicolas Cage and Meg Ryan and was about an angel falling in love with a mortal woman. The film was a commercial success as was the soundtrack which also featured songs by Alanis Morissette and Goo Goo Dolls both of whom were managed by Rob Cavallo who was the album’s executive producer. Funny that. Morissette had the follow up album to global smash “Jagged Little Pill” due out whilst Goo Goo Dolls also had an album forthcoming. Again, funny that. The latter’s track contributed to the film was “Iris” which would top airplay charts around the world when released as a single the following year, be nominated for a Grammy and is still a staple of pop/rock radio station playlists to this day and you can’t say that about “If God Will Send His Angels”,

And so to another of those potential contenders for the Christmas No 1 according to the bookies. “I Am In Love With The World” by Chicken Shed Theatre Company was originally included on the “Diana Princess Of Wales: Tribute” charity album due to her patronage of the theatre company that literally started in an old chicken shed and was released as a single from it in time for Christmas. Presumably the bookmakers were predicting another Elton John style flood of sales. It never transpired with “I Am In Love With The World” (why was it ‘I am’ and not ‘I’m’) peaking at a relatively lowly No 15. Maybe its inclusion on an album that went double platinum in the UK reduced its chances or maybe the nation had taken enough time by this point to shake off its collective malaise that Diana’s death had brought on. Or maybe, and I don’t wish to wield harsh criticism against a charity record, it was just terrible. Because it really was.

Say what you like about Celine Dion (and many of us have) but she worked with some of the biggest names in music. Her previous single to this (which was still in the Top 40) was a duet with Barbra Streisand and the follow up – “The Reason” – was co-written by Carole King. My wife introduced me to Carole’s “Tapestry” LP when we first met back in 1986 so it has a special place in my heart but this track was like a paper doily compared to the songs woven into that classic album. A power ballad (of course it was) but it wasn’t a Jim Steinman type powerhouse like “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” which she’d had a hit with the previous year. It sounded like a Eurovision* entry or possibly an X Factor winner’s song.

*Celine had, of course, won that particular song contest for Switzerland in 1988.

Tellingly, that duet with Barbra Streisand (“Tell Him”) would endure much better than “The Reason”. It peaked at No 3, spent four weeks inside the Top Ten 10 and a further four inside the Top 20 whereas “The Reason” peaked at No 11 and spent just three weeks in total in the Top 20. In the week of the Christmas chart, “Tell Him” held at No 13 whilst “The Reason” dropped to No 16.

Christmas wasn’t just about selling singles though. Albums was where the real money was and what type of album did record companies love to put out at Christmas time? A Best Of compilation of course! Yes, the reliable old staple of festive release schedules was a Greatest Hits/Best Of/Collection (delete as appropriate) and around this time a new strain of the format appeared – a retrospective of a solo artist and their former band on the same album. Although there had already been a Sting Greatest Hits (“Fields Of Gold: The Best Of Sting 1984-1994”) and two collections from The Police (1986’s “Every Breath You Take: The Singles” and 1992’s “Greatest Hits”), record label A&M reckoned they could still squeeze some more readies out of the back catalogue of both their artists by combining them into one album. Was this a genius move or a hateful idea – you’ll have your own opinion but it didn’t sit well with me. I like my retrospectives to be definitive which this surely couldn’t be. Not everything by two artists could be contained in one album. Surely a box set was needed?

Anyway, in 1997 came “The Very Best Of Sting & The Police” (note the use of the word ‘Very’ to signify that this was something different even though it wasn’t). Featuring fifteen tracks (seven from Sting and eight by The Police), it went four times platinum in the UK either matching or beating the sales of those aforementioned previous collections. So which songs didn’t make the cut?

The Police:

  • “So Lonely”
  • “De Do Do Do De Da Da Da” (though it was included in subsequent reissues of the album)
  • “Invisible Sun”
  • “Spirits In The Material World”
  • “Wrapped Around Your Finger”
  • “Synchronicity II”
  • “King Of Pain”

Sting:

  • “Spread A Little Happiness”
  • “All This Time”
  • “It’s Probably Me”
  • “Nothing ‘Bout Me”
  • “All For Love” (with Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams)
  • “Love Is The Seventh Wave”
  • “Seven Days”

And those lists aren’t completely exhaustive! Bah!

To promote the album, a single was required and so The Police’s first UK Top 40 hit “Roxanne” was recommissioned for the job. However, it wasn’t the original version but a horrible remix by Puff Daddy who probably reckoned he owed Sting one for “I’ll Be Missing You”. What he came up with featured samples and a horrible rap and was retitled as “Roxanne ‘97” and was just a dreadful mess. Thankfully, we don’t get that version here but a rather affecting acoustic take on it. Although Sting might rival Bono in the holier-than-thou arse stakes, you can’t deny that “Roxanne” is a great tune (Puff Daddy remix aside).

I’m guessing that the bookies didn’t want to get burned by a Christmas No 1 they hadn’t seen coming as happened in 1993 when firm favourites Take That were bounced out of the top spot by Mr Blobby and so didn’t underestimate the Teletubbies. Thankfully, history didn’t repeat itself. It seems the joke was wearing thin by this point as we only get 30 seconds of “Teletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh!’” as the credits roll. I never thought I’d say this but thank God for the Spice Girls.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Natalie ImbrugliaTornNo
2Robbie WilliamsAngelsNo but I had a promo copy of the album
3Bryan AdamsBack to YouNope
4All SaintsNever EverNegative
5U2If God Will Send His AngelsI did not
6Chicken Shed Theatre CompanyI Am In Love With The WorldHell No!
7Celine DionThe ReasonNever
8The Police / StingRoxanne ’97Nah
9TeletubbiesTeletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh!’Of course not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002chnq/top-of-the-pops-19121997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 12 DEC 1997

Posted on by 80stastic

I’ve said before in this blog that I’m not and have never been a massive James Bond fan. The character is just too slick and confident – two things that I’ve never been. I just can’t relate to him. Having said that, I did quite enjoy the films from the Daniel Craig era. As for the rest of the actors who have taken on the role, obviously I have seen some of the Sean Connery and Roger Moore movies but I don’t think I’ve caught any of the Timothy Dalton nor Pierce Brosnan stories and that includes Tomorrow Never Dies which opened in the UK on the day this TOTP aired. Although it grossed $339.5 million worldwide, it was ultimately eclipsed by the juggernaut that was Titanic which was in cinemas at the same time. Also eclipsed by Titanic was the theme song for Tomorrow Never Dies which couldn’t complete with that gargantuan hit by Celine Dion but more of that later.

Our host tonight is Jo Whiley whom I’m increasingly beginning to suspect wasn’t totally enjoying introducing songs by the likes of Aqua and the Teletubbies. Anyway, we start with a superstar (I think that’s a fair description of the artist concerned) in Janet Jackson who is at No 4 with “Together Again”, the second single taken from her album “The Velvet Rope”. You may remember her last trip to the TOTP studio to promote her Joni Mitchell sampling “Got ‘Til It’s Gone” single was a very pompous performance involving Ms Jackson on a throne and a stage full of would be courtiers. Thankfully, this time around, she’s gone for a much more informal and much less po-faced vibe. Apart from her heavily stylised corkscrew hairstyle, it’s all very relaxed with a ‘dress-down-Friday’ feel to what everyone on stage is wearing. As for the song itself, it’s a light, pleasant, upbeat track that actually had a more sombre source material being written about a close friend of Janet’s who died from AIDS. It’s very listenable but for me, her most interesting material came in her “Rhythm Nation 1814” era.

One up her nose and two up her jumper is how Janet rolls according to Jo Whiley (she talking about rings and therefore Ms Jackson’s rack I would assume which is a bit risqué for before the watershed) before our host tells us firmly where she stands musically which is with the next artist The Seahorses apparently. “Next a band who don’t need fancy dances – they have damned great tunes…” she trills except I’m not convinced that “You Can Talk To Me” is that great. After coming out of the traps fast with glorious debut hit “Love Is The Law”, the quality of their output had diminished in consistent increments it seemed to me before plateauing with this standalone single. Presumably released to bridge the gap between debut and follow up albums, it was rendered redundant somewhat as that sophomore collection of songs would never actually appear as the band broke up in 1999. In James Bond terms, The Seahorses were George Lazenby. Maybe it was just as well if this was an example of the direction in which they were going. “You Can Talk To Me” feels like it should be a tremendous track but for me, it’s all surface and no depth, like it was knocked out in about half an hour one afternoon. Or to put it in modern parlance, it’s as if AI had been asked to produce a song by The Seahorses if “You Can Talk To Me” had never existed.

As with Janet Jackson earlier, this appearance was vastly different to their last visit to the TOTP studio when they delivered a bizarre performance that involved all but lead singer Chris Helme seated alongside some random people also on stage looking bored and presenter Mark Lamarr rubbing John Squire’s knee. This time they’ve gone for a much more conventional set up which with their rather conventional song makes me yearn for some of those arbitrary strangers up there with the band again. Finally, if I want to hear a song with a ‘you can talk to me’ chorus, I think I’d rather listen to this:

Sometimes during these TOTP repeats you come across a song that it’s hard to remember that there was a time when you didn’t know it, that is, before it was released and before it became part of our cultural fabric. “Angels” by Robbie Williams is one of those songs. The story of how it single-handedly saved the ex-Take That star’s career and propelled him into superstardom is so well documented that even that narrative is taken for granted but it is an astonishing tale of a truly remarkable comeback. With his debut album “Life Thru A Lens” stalling and the singles from it achieving diminishing chart peaks, the word from the wise was that Williams was all washed up and unwanted by the record buying public. Although I had a promo copy of the album and had therefore heard “Angels” before its release as a single, I can’t lay claim to any great insight that if only Williams would release it, all his problems would be solved. I did think it was a decent song though and, as Jo Whiley says in her intro, the standout track from the album.

So, had “Angels” not been released what would have happened? Would Williams have been dropped by his label Chrysalis? Would pop music history have played out differently? Was this a sliding doors moment? I guess we’ll never know. What we do know is that “Angels” was a sales phenomenon. Twelve consecutive weeks inside the Top 10, sixty-eight on the Top 100 over ten separate occasions spanning seventeen years. Somehow though, it never got higher than No 4 despite shifting 1.16 million copies by 2014. The song’s legacy wasn’t just about its sales though. Its ubiquity was widespread and deep. In 2022, Alex Petridis wrote in The Guardian:

“Throughout the late 90s and 00s, it wasn’t so much a song as an unavoidable fact of daily life”

Petridis, Alexis (25 August 2022). “Robbie Williams’ 20 greatest songs – ranked!”. The Guardian.

In 2005, a Music Choice survey of 45,000 Britons chose “Angels” as the song that they would most like played at their funeral. In that same year’s BRIT Awards, the public voted it the best song of the last 25 years whilst a 2004 VH1 survey saw it voted as the best single never to have got to No 1. Say what you like about Williams but “Angels” certainly left its mark and for many remains his defining moment despite everything that followed including a No 1 less than 12 months later that interpolated the Nancy Sinatra song to the Bond movie You Only Live Twice. I love a post with a theme…

…and it’s the theme that keeps on giving as we arrive at the official track to the 1997 James Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies courtesy of Sheryl Crow. Jo Whiley effuses about a new Bond theme being a “big deal” and that “this time they’ve got it right” which implies that they haven’t in the past. Which song could she be talking about? “Goldeneye” by Tina Turner? Yeah, that one was definitely underwhelming. Surely not Duran Duran, A-ha nor Gladys Knight the latter of which is the last great 007 theme to my ears. By its very nature, that last sentence therefore excludes “Tomorrow Never Dies” which I have to admit I don’t remember at all. Having listened to it back, I stand by my earlier statement. My reaction to it reminded me of a Daily Mirror article from when I was young that would be seen as sexist by today’s standards but was presumably acceptable back then. It was a piece where they tried to build a composite image of the ‘perfect’ woman by taking various elements of the most beautiful women in the world (hair, smile, legs etc). The result was less than flattering. Similarly, Sheryl’s song seems to have all the best parts of previous Bond themes but they don’t quite all sit together comfortably. There’s the cinematic orchestral strings, iconic kettle drum, dramatic pauses and twangy guitar refrain in the chorus whilst Sheryl does her best Shirley Bassey impression but it never quite gets there for me. It was nominated for a Golden Globe and a Grammy but lost out on both to the aforementioned “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.

There were other songs in the running to be the official theme tune that were invited to be considered including this from Pulp which someone has helpfully put over the top of the opening titles. It would end up being a B-side for the band and retitled “Tomorrow Never Lies”…

Hmm. Not sure that they quite nailed it. Not sure at all. There’s this from Saint Etienne…

That’s more like it but then the band’s Bob Stanley does have a second career producing film soundtracks and films themselves as well as curating film seasons for various art institutions. If I had to be critical, I’m not sure that Sarah Cracknell’s vocals are quite big enough for a Bond theme.

We have a winner! Check this out from k.d. Lang! This is perfect! It was used over the end credits in the movie but surely it should have outranked Sheryl Crow’s track?

Before she introduces the next act, Jo Whiley dashes on stage to give Sheryl an award commemorating her album going three times platinum. Fair enough but why do we not get to hear Sheryl speak? What was all that about? The effect is just odd and talking of odd, here comes a most bizarre Beatles cover version from Blackstreet. Now, music history is littered with terrible takes of the Fab Four’s material and this is certainly not the worst but I’m still left asking the question why did they do it? Did the world really need a slowed down R&B version of their 1964 No 1 “Can’t Buy Me Love”? I know there is a school of thought that says there is only any point in a doing a cover if it’s substantially different from the original and I subscribe to that view. However, although Blackstreet clearly also did, I just don’t think that “Can’t Buy Me Love” in its original form lends itself to such a drastically different treatment. Those early Beatles hits were high octane, thrill inducing pop romps. It wasn’t in their DNA to be slowed down like that. Maybe it’s my fault for having a closed mind but I just can’t reconcile myself to Blackstreet’s version and why was it retitled as “(Money Can’t) Buy Me Love”? Was it something to do with the licensing of the track?

I said in the last post that Boyzone wouldn’t be having it all their own way in the boy band stakes as Westlife would be appearing on the horizon soon. However, even before those lovely lads from Sligo and Dublin turned up, there was Five. Or was it 5ive? Anyway, whereas Take That and East 17 had been depicted by the press as polar opposites, Five seems to combine elements of both. Pretty boys that were also ‘street’. It seemed like a plan.

Put together by the same father and son duo who had the idea for the Spice Girls, Bob and Chris Herbert thought the same could be achieved with an all male group. An audition process attended by 3,000 hopefuls resulted in a line up of Abz Love (real name Richard Breen), Jason ‘J’ Brown, Sean Conlon, Ritchie Neville and Scott Robinson (not to be confused with the Neighbours character played by Jason Donovan). Signed by Simin Cowell (him again) to BMG/RCA, the group embarked on months of rehearsals and promotional work before they’d even released a note of music so that their name was already well known by the time debut single “Slam Dunk (Da Funk)” was available in the shops. The hard work paid off when it landed at No 10 in the charts in its first week of release. I have to say as boy bands go, I didn’t mind them. “Slam Dunk (Da Funk)” was daft but it was fun and their Joan Jett sampling hit “Everybody Get Up” was great. Some of their stuff was routine boy band guff though as well. Someone who really did like them though was a person that my wife used to work with in a past job who was a difficult character who took offence at the unlikeliest of things. One such thing he hated was work colleagues who had pictures of their loved ones on their desks. Being a gay man, he staged his own protest by bringing a framed picture to work of J from Five which took pride of place on his own desk.

Five shone brightly for a three year period which included a trio of No 1 singles before splitting up in 2001. A planned reunion in 2006 came to nothing but they did get together again in 2013 via the ITV show The Big Reunion which resulted in a tour although J Brown declined to be part of it. Abz Love left the band after the tour meaning that a second reunion in 2019 featured just three members despite the fact that they retained the name of Five. However, a UK arena tour has been scheduled for October this year featuring all five members.

During late 1997 and early 1998, it was never, ever not time for All Saints – this was their third TOTP appearance out of nine (NINE!) promoting their second single. This must be some sort of record for a song that spent just a solitary week at No 1. How did Executive Producer Chris Cowey justify all these slots in the running order? Well, I guess if you look at these chart positions over nearly four (FOUR!) months inside the Top 10, you could make a case for at least half a dozen by my reckoning if your criteria is a hit going (back) up the charts or holding firm in the same place:

3 – 5 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 4 – 4 – 2 – 1 – 2 – 2 – 4 – 5 – 3 -7

They are spectacular numbers you have to say. Well, I’ve got another six appearances featuring “Never Ever” to write about so I’m going to leave it there for this one for this week.

The Teletubbies are at No 1 with “Teletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’”. Of course they are – this was the UK record buying public at work after all (never the most reliable arbiter of taste) and they were especially wayward in their shopping habits at Christmas. For a kids TV show aimed at a pre-school audience, Teletubbies seemed to attract an awful lot of controversy with perhaps the biggest of the lot centred around the character of Tinky Winky. The biggest and oldest (supposedly) of the Teletubbies, he caught the attention of US televangelist Jerry Falwell who proclaimed that Tinky Winky was promoting homosexuality due to his red handbag, his purple colour (purple being the gay pride colour) and his antenna being shaped like a triangle (a gay pride symbol). The BBC released an official response saying Tinky Winky was simply a “sweet technological baby with a magic bag”. Then there was the controversy over the sacking of actor Dave Thompson who originally played Tinky Winky but was fired after receiving a letter from production company Ragdoll saying his “interpretation of the role was not accepted”. Ha!

I’m sure there was also a media furore when a photo of Tinky Winky was circulated without his costume head on. My friend Bev was something to do with the publicity for the show at the time and had to field loads of press enquiries about what the BBC were going to do about allowing the shattering of the illusion of the Teletubbies for its millions of viewers. The truth is that those costumes were incredibly hot and the actors would sweat bucket loads and stink after their 11 hour filming stints in them. No wonder Tinky Winky took his head off! They may have been shot at, chased, punched or had the threat of a laser going up their jacksy but no James Bond actor had to deal with the inferno that was a Teletubbies costume.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Janet JacksonTogether AgainI did not
2The SeahorsesYou Can Talk To MeNegative
3Robbie WilliamsAngelsNo but I had a promo copy of the album
4Sheryl CrowTomorrow Never DiesNo
5Blackstreet(Money Can’t) Buy Me LoveNope
6FiveSlam Dunk (Da Funk)Nah
7All SaintsNever EverLiked it, didn’t buy it
8TeletubbiesTeletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’What do you think?!

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002chnn/top-of-the-pops-12121997?seriesId=unsliced

TOTP 28 NOV 1997

Posted on by 80stastic

The end is approaching for these 1997 TOTP repeats as we arrive at the last show of November. It was also the last show for Mark Lamarr who was presenting the final of his four episodes. This left a roster of four regular hosts – Jayne Middlemiss, Zoe Ball, Jamie Theakston and Jo Whiley – a line up that would stay unchanged until July 1998. I can’t say I’m too upset about Lamarr’s departure – I liked him on The Word and Never Mind The Buzzcocks but his comic approach didn’t quite fit with TOTP – something about it I found jarring like he was trying too hard to take the piss out of everything and everyone. He starts this show with an eyepatch and claiming he’s Snake Plissken who is the fictional character from the films Escape From New York and Escape From L.A. as portrayed by Kurt Russell. The reason behind this ‘escapes’ me but then I’ve never watched either film so maybe there’s some weird connection between them and the BBC’s premier pop music programme. If anyone reading this is in the know, please leave a comment.

We begin with Louise who, after leaving Eternal, has fashioned a very respectable pop career for herself. I use the word ‘pop’ deliberately as her previous band mates were pursuing a much more R&B direction. Maybe a parting of the ways would have been inevitable regardless. Anyway, “Let’s Go Round Again” was Louise’s sixth Top 10 hit out of seven single releases – like I said, not too shabby. However, was the fact that she’d got to the cover version stage so early a sign that her time as a solo artist was already going stale?

Originally a No 12 hit for the Average White Band in 1980, on the one hand it was a sensible choice of cover in line with her positioning as a mainstream dance/pop act. It was light and catchy and a shoo-in for Radio 1’s daytime playlists. On the other hand, it was just too safe and a definite step away from her rebranding as a sex symbol and sultry performer of songs like “Naked”. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle of these two views but ultimately it just seemed all a little pointless to me. Mind you, not as pointless as this No 78 hit from 1990 by Yell!…

After the rather surprising collaboration of hard rock heroes Metallica and English singer and actress Marianne Faithfull in the previous show, this week we get another unusual combination – ‘dream house’ pin up boy Robert Miles and one quarter of disco legends Sister Sledge, Kathy Sledge. I’m not sure how this came about and I care less but presumably Miles wanted a female vocalist for his tune “Freedom” much as he had done with Maria Nayler on his previous hit “One And One”. Kathy’s last appearance on the show would have been nearly five years before as part of Sister Sledge to promote yet another rerelease of “Lost In Music” and in the meantime she’s changed her hairstyle to what I can only describe as a Deirdre Barlow perm! She seems to be up there on her own with no sign of Robert Miles. Maybe he was washing his hair that night? Actually, Kathy’s not quite alone. Check out the studio audience member in the grey shirt who’s ‘’avin’ it large’ with his flailing arm movements. Despite most of the rest of the audience not being in the spotlight, he’s managed to keep finding a position where the studio lights keep picking him up. Not sure if that’s deliberate or lucky. As for the song, it’s fairly standard Miles fare – a twinkling piano intro and dream house beats but doesn’t really go anywhere for me. Put it like this – I wasn’t lost in the music.

Now, she may be the ‘Queen of Hip-Hop Soul’ but this single by Mary J. Blige sounds common and ignoble to my, admittedly soul-less, ears. “Missing You” is a right old dirge. Once more, it was written by legendary producer Babyface (it felt like half the Top 40 was down to him around this time) and he seems to have re-written 10cc’s “I’m Not In Love”. Certainly the opening lines have clear parallels with the 1975 chart topper. Witness:

I’m not in love, it’s just some kind of thing I’m goin’ through

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Kenneth Edmonds
Missing You lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

And…

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it, it’s just a silly phase I’m going through

Writer/s: Eric Michael Stewart, Graham Keith Gouldman
Publisher: MUSIC SALES CORPORATION
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Busted! Apparently, Shanice is on backing vocals. Remember her? “I Love Your Smile”? You couldn’t get a song so diametrically opposed to “Missing You” as that sunny, breezy, upbeat track.

Oh brilliant! Another TV actor trying his arm at a career in music. Back in the late 80s and early 90s, that seemed to be the preserve of soap stars but by 1997, one man had opened the door for anyone in a drama series to become a resident of the charts. That man was, of course, Simon Cowell. The charge sheet of this guy’s crimes against music is huge! Not happy with inflicting Robson & Jerome on us he also paved the way for Steven Houghton to play at being a pop star but this time, for Soldier Soldier read London’s Burning. The show about the lives of Blue Watch of the London Fire Brigade had already spawned one wannabe pop singer in John Alford who had three hit singles in 1996 (all cover versions* obviously) all of which were so bad he was given the nickname Jon Awful in the Our Price where I was working.

*Including “If” that had been a No 1 in the UK for yet another actor in 1975 – Telly Savalas. Talk about the phenomenon eating itself!

I’m not sure if Cowell had anything to do with that abomination (I wouldn’t be surprised if he did though) but he definitely had his mucky fingers over Steven Houghton’s cover of “Wind Beneath My Wings” as he knew the actor’s agent and encouraged him to secure a commercial release of the song. Why did the public keep falling for this practice? The set up for the single was a carbon copy of that of the aforementioned Robson & Jerome. Houghton’s character performs the song as part of the plot of one episode and…well, that was all that was required for the general public to hot foot it down to their local record store to ask for that record by the TV fireman. Look, I get that it’s a heady cocktail of promotion – a song on your favourite TV show beamed directly into your living room would be worth more than a thousand adverts in the music press and yes, I know it wasn’t an original concept. EastEnders had given us Nick Berry in 1986 singing a song that had initially been featured on the soap but this was all getting a bit much. Thankfully both Alford and Houghton’s pop careers were mercifully short lived but we aren’t out of the woods yet. We’ve still got Adam Rickitt, Martine McCutcheon and Will Mellor to come before these 90s TOTP repeats are done with us. At least we didn’t have to suffer the Bill Tarmey version of “Wind Beneath My Wings” as mentioned by Mark Lamarr. Small mercies and all that.

You know Simon Cowell’s charge sheet of crimes against music I mentioned before? Add this nonsense to it! Yes, Mr High-Waisted-Trousers also brought us this massive hutch full of rabbit shit that was “Teletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’ “ by the Teletubbies. Good Lord! Was there no end to this sadist’s desire to fling musical excrement at the general public. Ah, the general public. Perhaps they/we should be taking a lot of the blame for this? After all, Cowell didn’t buy all 1.3 million copies it sold himself did he? I wouldn’t put it past him to have engaged in some chart manipulation though.

Teletubbies was a TV phenomenon. A BBC children’s show aimed at a pre-school audience that first aired in March of this year, its characters Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po would become household names. The secret of the show’s success was that the Teletubbies were designed to resemble toddlers and that the way they communicated was via a language that was pure gibberish. Of course, when I was a child, our supply of gibberish came courtesy of The Flowerpot Men but they weren’t half as cute as the Teletubbies.

Cuteness wasn’t the only thing that The Flowerpot Men didn’t have – there was also the marketing strategies that existed in the 90s. Given the success of the show, the Teletubbies were always going to generate commercial spin offs and consequently Teletubbies dolls were the biggest selling toy of Christmas 1997. There was also a game released for Microsoft Windows and then there was the dreaded single. Basically just the theme tune to the show with some added bits, it would storm to the top of the charts and be the bookies favourite for the Christmas No 1. Well, if Mr. Blobby could bag the festive top seller why couldn’t the Teletubbies? In all fairness, if Simon Cowell hadn’t released the single, someone else would have. Indeed, when he got news that another label wanted to sign the Teletubbies, he got the BBC in his office and offered them £500,000 in advance to do a deal so sure was he of the single’s ability to sell. But who was buying it? I can only assume parents for their toddlers. Surely it wasn’t pop music fans?! In the end, it would be another act with young child appeal that would grab the Christmas No 1 at the last to deny the Teletubbies but that’s for a future post. In the meantime, we will be seeing Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po again in these TOTP repeats I’m afraid. At least they were a one hit wonder and were spared a follow up single.

After two stinkers comes a sweet smelling quality tune in “Never Ever” by All Saints. It certainly provides some fragrant relief from the nasty stench of Steven Houghton and the Teletubbies. However, I’ve a feeling even its bouquet might start to go stale as – get this – it’s on TOTP nine times over a thirteen week period! NINE! This was the second of those nine appearances and already the group’s shoulder shrugging dance move is becoming firmly established. A couple of things leapt to my attention. Firstly, that the only person not to get a solo part in the song is Natalie Appleton. Is this significant? She was originally going to be the group’s manager but became a performing member once she’d sorted child care arrangements for her daughter. Secondly, in the lyrics, the phrase ‘A to Z’ is used twice but the first time ‘Z’ is sung using the American pronunciation of ‘zee’ but the second time it’s the English version of ‘zed’. Make your minds up girls!

In the last post, I noted upon the identity crisis surrounding the rerelease of “You Sexy Thing” in the wake of the success of the film The Full Monty. All of the online evidence I could find points to it being under the name of Hot Chocolate which is how it should be given that the group had already had a hit with it twice. However, TOTP billed it as being by the singer Errol Brown and they’ve done so again this week. What was going on here? Errol did have a brief solo career in the late 80s but it only gave him one UK Top 40 hit in 1987 called “Personal Touch”. Or was it two as the officialcharts.com archive says that the follow up to the 1997 rerelease of “You Sexy Thing” was “It Started With A Kiss” which was under the name of Hot Chocolate featuring Errol Brown. It was all very confusing. Even Errol himself needed clarification when he sang in that follow up “you don’t remember me do you?”…

And so to the new No 1. Although this was a charity record for this year’s Children In Need appeal, it didn’t start out with that intention. 1997 was the 75th anniversary of the BBC which prompted the Beeb to undertake a corporate redesign and a series of promotional campaigns to highlight the services it offered the public. One such campaign was a trailer put together over an 18 month period to promote the wide range of music offered by the BBC. It took the form of various music artists from all genres singing a line of “Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day”. I’m not going to list all the participants but some of the names appearing included heavyweights like Bono, David Bowie and Elton John but also some left field people like Sky from Morcheeba, Laurie Anderson and Robert Cray. Country music was represented by Emmylou Harris and Tammy Wynette whilst opera was championed by Lesley Garrett and Thomas Allen. Indie had Brett Anderson and Evan Dando but perhaps the one person who everyone remembers but whose name many didn’t know was Dr. John for his pronunciation of ‘perfect’ as “poi-fect”.

The trailer proved hugely popular with the public and demand to be able to buy this version led to a single release that was tied in with the Children In Need appeal. A couple of points of interest to note here. Firstly, there can’t have been too many UK chart hits under the name of Various Artists. Off the top of my head, there was a dance medley single released to tie in with the BRIT Awards in 1990 which made No 2 I think but surely this was the first ‘Various Artists’ chart topper. Secondly, “Perfect Day” had an unusual chart journey. Having debuted at No 1 and staying there for a further week, it then spent two weeks at No 2 and two weeks at No 3 before leaping back to the top of the charts a whole month after its initial spell there. You just keep me hangin’ on indeed.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1LouiseLet’s Go Round AgainNope
2Robert Miles featuring Kathy SledgeFreedomNah
3Mary J. BligeMissing YouNo
4Steven HoughtonWind Beneath My WingsNever
5TeletubbiesTeletubbies Say ‘Eh-Oh’What do you think?!
6All SaintsNever EverLiked it, didn’t buy it
7Hot ChocolateYou Sexy ThingI did not
8Various ArtistsPerfect DayNo but I had Lou Reed’s Transformer album

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002c5fm/top-of-the-pops-28111997?seriesId=unsliced