The Carpenters

TOTP 15 OCT 1992

Posted on April 13, 2022 by 80stastic

It’s mid October in 1992 here at TOTP Rewind and something very odd is happening to the UK singles charts which seems to have been infiltrated by a string of acts that have very little to do with music. Now if you haven’t been enjoying these TOTP repeats on BBC4, you may want to argue they could apply to most of the Top 40 occupants but I’m talking about a very specific form of chart interloper. These were entities that have no genuine musical connection nor talent but are just spin offs from another form of ‘entertainment’. Who am I talking about? Well, here’s an example; “Tetris” by Dr Spin, a track based on the theme tune to a computer game. Ah yes but that’s just one song you may say. You’d be wrong. In a week or two there will be another computer game based hit by an act calling themselves Ambassadors Of Funk (oh the irony) entitled “Supermarioland”. OK, so there was a mini craze for computer game inspired novelty hits. So what? It’s hardly the sound that ate the world. True but that’s not the end of it. Soon our eyes and ears will have to cope with the sight and sound of an all male stripping troupe gyrating up the charts as The Chippendales make their musical bow. Not to be outdone in the manliness stakes, the WWF Superstars will soon be pile-driving their way into Top 5 with their “Slamjam” single.

Where was all this coming from? Well, one influence may have been ITV’s new Saturday teatime show Gladiators that had just premiered the weekend before this TOTP aired. Remember that? Where members of the public tried to outdo the programme’s ‘gladiators’ in a series of physical challenges called things like Swingshot, Joust and Pole-Axe? It was presented by Ulrika Jonsson and John ‘Awooga’ Fashanu and made stars of the ‘gladiators’ like Jet, Hunter and Wolf. It was quite the ratings sensation for a while. Although there was no spin off single from the show until 1996 (an horrendous cover of Thin Lizzy’s “Boys Are Back In Town”) it was certainly part of the cultural landscape. Unfortunately we will be seeing two of these cultural giants in tonight’s TOTP.

We start though with Sunscreem who I was amazed to find had eight Top 40 hits. I have to admit that I couldn’t have named any of them without looking at their discography. I do remember them being around at this time and that they were a dance act but their material seemed to have passed me by. Listening to this track “Perfect Motion”, they’re a lot more accessible than I would have imagined, a hybrid of dance floor bpm and pop. They sort of remind me a little of New Order – certainly the single’s title sounds like a New Order track. Image wise, singer Lucia Holm was a sort of grunge version of Yazz. Hmm. Yazz does New Order? Is that really the comparison that I’m looking for?

Now what’s going on here? Pan’s People on TOTP in 1992? According to host Mark Franklin it was part of a retrospective strategy to celebrate the show’s forthcoming 1500th edition by revisiting highlights from its past. Pan’s People are dancing to “(They Long To Be) Close To You” by The Carpenters which was a No 6 hit in the UK in 1970. Mark though tells us it’s from 30 years ago to the day in 1972. I’ve checked the official charts database and can’t see anything on there to confirm that the song was in the charts then. According to the next-episode website there was no TOTP broadcast on that day so what gives? Surely the producers haven’t just made it up to fit with a neat narrative?

Pan’s People were the dance troupe that I remember from my first memories of the show which include Mud performing “Tiger Feet”. At some point they changed to Legs & Co and then Zoo was it? When were Ruby Flipper then? It doesn’t matter I suppose. Pan’s People’s performance isn’t too un-PC I guess. I’m sure there are some right howlers in the archives though.

Meanwhile back in the studio in 1992 we find Bizarre Inc featuring Angie Brown once more with their hit single “I’m Gonna Get You”. There’s two things that sprang to my attention whilst watching this back. Firstly, what was the deal with the keyboards made to look like swings? It’s literally the worst look for a musical instrument since the key-tar. Secondly, the different coloured alternate backdrops remind me of something but I can’t put my finger on it. It’ll come to me….oh God. I’ve got it. It’s Naked Attraction that weird dating show on Channel 4! The very last thing I want to put my finger on! It’s the multi coloured booths that the naked contestants stand in which reveal their bodies from the feet up! Not that I watch it myself you understand but I’ve seen it on Gogglebox. Honest!

“I’m Gonna Get You” peaked at No3.

From Naked Attraction to “Erotica” by Madonna. What a segue! Was this the peak of Madge’s controversy? She’d already incurred the wrath of the Vatican three years earlier with her “Like A Prayer” video and its imagery of the Ku Klux Klan’s burning crosses but now she was back with a three pronged attack on society’s moral standards according to some commentators (Mary Whitehouse must have had something to say about it all). Firstly there was the “Erotica” single with its S&M undertones which sees Madonna assuming the pseudonym of Mistress Dita and its MTV banned video (presumably the version shown on TOTP was heavily edited). Then there was a whole album called “Erotica” with its themes of fantasy, desire and pleasure. Lastly, and this was the real moral majority baiting clincher, there was the ‘coffee table’ book Sex. Has there ever been such a misnomer? Well, apparently not as it has sold 1.5 million copies and is the biggest and fastest selling coffee table book of all time. This was a 128 page spiral bound tome that featured images of nudity, simulations of sexual acts, bondage etc. It came in a sealed bag presumably to stop casual browsers seeing what all the fuss was about. I remember being in WH Smith around this time and some curious teenagers asking the poor sales assistant to open the seal so they could peruse the contents. Happily, she refused to do so.

As for the song “Erotica”, was it really that different to “Justify My Love” from two years prior? I’m not so sure. Maybe Madge was just taking continuing that theme to its logical conclusion? Where could you go with it other than to illicit more outrage? I have to admit I wasn’t that convinced.

“Erotica” the single peaked at No 3.

I may not have been convinced by Madonna’s latest offering but it was wholly preferable to the next act as we arrive at the first of these chart outliers that I mentioned before. I speak of Doctor Spin and the Game Boy influenced track “Tetris”. Now, there had been computer games when I was growing up in the 70s but despite amazing the pre-teenage me, they were incredibly basic. I had a Binatone console…

Ah, happy memories. By 1992, things had advanced dramatically but I had never gone back to the world of gaming after my 70s foray. Consequently, when Our Price for whom I was working started selling them in the early 90s I was a bit lost. I was in the Rochdale store at this time and we were stocking a Nintendo and Sega range. I recall there being a big deal about the latter’s release of the follow up to Sonic the Hedgehog. The release date was specifically shifted to a Tuesday so the marketing for it could be framed as Sonic 2sday which was the 24th November. That marketing budget by the way was $10 million and it worked generating 1 million sales in the US and 750,000 in the UK in a day selling out everywhere.

All of this helped establish gaming as not just a legitimate leisure pursuit but as one of the fastest growing. The cash-in spin-off was inevitable I guess and so it came to pass that Andrew Lloyd Webber exploited the gap in the market with this heinous load of nonsense. Who bought this? “Tetris” peaked at No 6 which presumably was the average age of the punter who purchased it.

We move seamlessly (not even a voice over intro) onto the next stage where Boyz II Men are patiently awaiting their cue. What on earth must they have been thinking about British taste watching Doctor Spin on before them?! They here to perform “End Of The Road” of course and, given its popularity back in the day, I was surprised to see very little love for it out there in Twitter land. Look at this guy for example:

Horrific. The auditory equivalent of rabies.
— Peter (@DasJarg) April 8, 2022

Wow! If that’s what he thought of Boys II Men I wonder what he made of Doctor Spin?! As for me, I didn’t doubt these guys could sing but their staging and image was bizarre. They’ve got the prop of a streetlight which I guess references the origins of doo-wop which was clearly an influence on the band but why are they all wearing baseball caps, jackets and jeans?! It’s ludicrous. Also, why has one of them got a walking stick? Did he have a genuine leg injury or was it an affectation Mick Hucknall style? Boyz II Men – crazy name, crazy guys!

Four Breakers now starting with a cover version which is surely one of the most pointless and also most forgotten in musical history. It had been nearly two years since The Farm had been riding a wave of popularity off the back of two huge hit singles in “Groovy Train” and “All Together Now”. Debut album “Spartacus” had risen swiftly to the top of the charts. However, subsequent singles releases had been minor hits and by the time they were releasing new material from second album “Love See No Colour”, those minor hits had turned into flops. The title track and follow up single “Rising Sun” had both missed the Top 40 altogether so what do you do when in need of a hit to reverse your chart fortunes? We all know the answer to this by now. Their choice of cover version was decidedly odd. Choosing The Human League’s classic No 1 “Don’t You Want Me” seemed frought with issues not the least being that Phil and co’s version was so definitive that anything that came after it was destined to be seen as inferior. That applied to the video as well as the song so what The Farm served up as their promo looked ghastly. Some sort of karaoke bar setting with sing-a-long lyrics on screen and a cameo by well known alcoholic George Best? My God. What were they thinking?!

The cover version trick worked though and returned the band to the Top 20 and paved the way for a rerelease of the “Love See No Colour” single which made No 35. However, it proved to be a false dawn and their only two subsequent chart entries were with reissues of “All Together Now”.

I’ve seen many a band come and go, many a musical genre rise and fall in the course of these TOTP reviews but one constant has been AC/DC. Racking up hits whatever else was going on in the charts, they never seemed to go out of fashion. They are back in our Top 40 courtesy of a live version of “Highway To Hell” which was to promote their live album called…erm… “AC/DC Live”. I’m guessing this was released to plug the five year gap that would follow the release of 1990’s “The Razors Edge” album and its follow up “Ballbreaker” which didn’t arrive until 1995. I remember that “AC/DC Live” was a double album and the slip case for the cassette version was a bugger to get back on without tearing it after taking it off. That, and that the single made No 14, are all I have to say about this AC/DC release.

The Wedding Present’s single for this month was a number called “Sticky” which I don’t remember at all but then they did release 12 singles in 1992 as part of their “Hit Parade” project so I’m not going to give myself a kicking over that.

The clip of the video we see here has a bit of a Twin Peaks vibe to it with a bloke in the desert telling the listener to get out using a speeded up animation effect before a devil figure wrestles with someone in a white room with a black and white chequered floor. Very weird. The single peaked at No 17, the second consecutive single to do so in their attempt to equal Elvis Presley’s record for the most hit singles in one year.

The final Breaker comes from The Orb. After the genre breaking ‘chess’ performance on the show for the last single “Blue Room” that apparently had a major effect on Robbie Williams and his view on how to make music, they’re back with standalone single “Assassin”. I have to say this does/did little for me but then I was never a bpm fiend. The video reminds me of one that a group of students on my course made way back in the mid 80s at Sunderland Polytechnic. We all had to write, film and edit a small film as part of the module. My group’s was called “Wet Dream” but it was not what you’re thinking and nothing approaching similar to Madonna’s “”Erotica” promo! One of the other groups ran out of time so in the end just filmed some of them sat down and added some visual effects over the top to a soundtrack of Jean Michel Jarre. I didn’t think much of it at the time but I think I prefer it to The Orb’s video.

“Assassin” peaked at a No 12.

The return of Bon Jovi next. It had been four years since their last album “New Jersey” and the musical landscape had changed almost beyond recognition. Added to that, the band were facing some existential demons after taking a deliberate hiatus during which Jon Bon Jovi wrote a film soundtrack and Richie Sambora a solo album. Jon is on record as saying that “We’d been kicked in the teeth by Nirvana but we didn’t pay attention to that. We got rid of the clichés, wrote some socially conscious lyrics and got a haircut. I didn’t do a grunge thing and I didn’t do a rap thing but I knew I couldn’t rewrite “Livin’ On A Prayer” again so I didn’t try. And it paid off”.

It was true. “Keep The Faith” the single and the album were no attempt to jump on the Nirvana bandwagon but nor were they more of the poodle rock on which they’d made their name. For a start it was (and remains) the longest album they’d ever recorded clocking in at 66 minutes. The album version of the title track is nearly 6 minutes long itself though it was edited down for radio. Now I’m not suggesting that longer means a more mature sound necessarily but neither were they looking for the quick thrill opening of something like “Born To Be My Baby”.

The album would spawn six hit singles and go to No 1 in the UK and No 5 in the US. Incredibly they released the last single from it (“Dry County”) nearly 16 months to the day since the album came out. It was, in short, a monster.

Jon Bon Jovi seems to be channelling his inner Davy Jones from The Monkees in this performance with his maracas action. I had a promo copy of the album through work at one point but I’ve no idea what happened to it. You can’t really say the same of Bon Jovi.

Tasmin Archer is at No 1 for the first week of two with “Sleeping Satellite”. It really was a magnificent achievement for a debut single especially when you consider that major, established acts like Madonna and Bon Jovi had new material out at the time. Written about the moon landing and the Apollo missions of the 60s and early 70s, it must be the best (and only) song to reference space hardware since Kirsty MacColl had a hit with Billy Bragg’s “New England” in 1985. Do you hear it played on the radio these days? Maybe on the retro stations like Absolute 90s. Whether it is or not, there will always be a part of 1992 that belongs to Tasmin Archer.

And finally Cyril (one for you Esther Rantzen fans), there was an epilogue to this show where we got a glimpse (possibly unwanted) of an act on next week’s show and it’s the second of those cultural chart outliers. We are ‘treated’ to a few seconds of the new single by The Chippendales “Give Me Your Body” plus a personal invitation from one of them to join them on the show next week. You have been warned.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Sunscreem	Perfect Motion	Nope
2	The Carpenters	(They Long To Be) Close To You	No but everyone has a Carpenters Greatest Hits album don’t they?
3	Bizarre Inc featuring Angie Brown	I’m Gonna Get You	No
4	Madonna	Erotica	No, I wasn’t convinced
5	Doctor Spin	Tetris	Sod off!
6	Boyz II Men	End Of The Road	I didn’t think it was the auditory equivalent of rabies but I didn’t buy it either
7	The Farm	Don’t You Want Me	No, no I didn’t want you
8	AC/DC	Highway To Hell	Not my thing
9	The Wedding Present	Sticky	Nah
10	The Orb	Assassin	See 8 above
11	Bon Jovi	Keep The Faith	Not the single but I had that promo album for a while
12	Tasmin Archer	Sleeping Satellite	Good song but no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001648v/top-of-the-pops-15101992

TOTP 20 DEC 1990

Posted on May 18, 2021 by 80stastic

Xmas 1990 is upon us meaning that we are just days away from finding out that year’s festive No 1 record. This also means that there is precious little time for record companies to stimulate enough sales to get their particular act to the coveted top spot. Activity is frenzied and to paraphrase David Bowie, you can almost see the record pluggers sliding down chimneys.

As for me, I’m working my first Xmas at Our Price and am just longing for some time off after day after day of huge queues of customers all needing serving. Back then, Our Price still had what must now been seen as an archaic ‘masterbag’ system where the contents of a CD, tape, VHS etc were kept filed behind the counter with just the empty case on the racks. This meant serving someone could be quite labour intensive as you had to go and find what they wanted behind the scenes first. If you were on the counter all day, it felt like a long shift.

Added to this was the impending pressure that all the temps felt which was who (if any of us) would be kept on after Xmas was over. As it stood, I had nothing lined up work wise if I wasn’t kept on and we had the rent on our flat to make. My wife was also in temporary employment at a toy shop but we knew that was definitely ending as the store was to close after Xmas. This was proper adult stuff. It came to pass that I did end up being offered a permanent job by the store manager whist I was out for a drink one night in the achingly trendy Dry bar with my wife one evening. I think it was the first time we’d been in there as we were skint most of the time. The manager (Greg) happened to be there as well and he just sidled up to me and said did I want to stay on after Xmas. I immediately accepted and that was that. The biggest phew of all time (or at least it felt like it)! Was it just a case of serendipity that secured my employment (and our rent)? That I just happened to be in the right bar at the right time? I guess I’ll never know now but I will always be grateful to Greg. It turned out that only a couple of us got permanent jobs so the relief was even bigger once this became apparent.

Back to the music though and we start with “Mary Had A Little Boy” by Snap! The fourth and final single to be lifted from their “World Power” album, it extended their run of Top 10 singles by peaking at No 8. Although superficially based around the Mary Had A Little Lamb nursery rhyme, there’s not actually much of the source material on display save for the chorus the lyrics of which paraphrase its opening couple of stanzas. The rest of it seems to be about Turbo B working up the courage to chat up the titular Mary. It’s all pretty nasty stuff as well with him rapping about Mary’s ‘fantasy body’ and describing himself as a ‘ruthless chiller’ and a ‘ladies killer’. Was there a more objectionable pop star this year than this guy? Oh yeah, there was Timmy Mallett of course but even he wasn’t sure about this track, describing it in Smash Hits (as the guest singles reviewer) as sounding “as though they’re scraping the barrel by doing what is basically a nursery rhyme.” Having your music dissed by Timmy Mallett? Ouch!

Three songs now that were all Breakers on the previous show starting with The Carpenters and (They Long To Be) Close To You”. Although their songs are instantly recognisable to us, I hadn’t checked out their chart history before nor realised quite how many of their songs had actually been hits over here. I was thinking it would resemble Barry Manilow who, for all his fame, only ever had one Top 10 record in the UK. Not so Richard and Karen. Although not as successful as in the US where they had three No 1 singles, a haul of seven Top Tenners (of which two were No 2 hits) in this country is pretty impressive.

Oscar Wilde famously said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and that is true of many a music artist. Perhaps the biggest indication of your standing is if you are so well respected that you have your own tribute album. The Carpenters achieved this in 1994 when “If I Were A Carpenter” appeared featuring covers of their songs by artists including Sheryl Crow, The Cranberries and Sonic Youth. This one was my favourite though…

Some INXS now as “Disappear” does the very opposite by climbing three places to No 21. This was peak INXS in many ways, consolidating on the staggering commercial success of “Kick” by pretty much repeating the formula and thereby keeping the record company and fans alike happy. This was pre-grunge and before the mainstream emergence of Nirvana that overnight seemed to make every other contemporary rock band irrelevant. Things were pretty sweet in the band’s world. Michael Hutchence even had a nice, steady girlfriend in Kylie Minogue.

In a review of “Disappear” on the songmeanings.com site, there is a comment by a user that says the song sounds like the theme tune to a kids TV show called Super WHY!. OK then, lets’s see if there’s anything in this….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkDe5ZMy72E

…no, that claim is just utter nonsense.

Enigma now and there’s no disputing it that “Sadness (Part 1)” is going to be massive as it rises from No 27 to No 6 in one week prompting ideas of it even being No 1 for Xmas. It didn’t quite achieve that but it did rise to the top spot eventually in the New Year for one week whilst spending an impressive seven whole weeks in the Top 10. I have to admit that I thought it was at No 1 for much longer than that. This Gregorian chant inspired piece of ambient, new age pop (if there is such a genre) was soon seen as a massive cash cow by Virgin records who proceeded to flood the market with a series of ‘mood’ music compilations, the most successful of which was “Pure Moods” featuring artists like Vangelis, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Enya and, of course, Enigma. Included in the comments on YouTube for the video to “Sadness (Part 1)” was this lovely little observation:

If you’re here because you remember this from the Pure Moods CD as a kid – I regret to inform you your parents definitely were banging to this song

Dear me! Thankfully this statement does not apply to me. I must stop reading these user comments!

Oh, I neglected to mention that the host for this one is Bruno Brookes who displays some shocking musical ignorance by declaring “The 80s return and remember this film…” before introducing the “Grease Megamix”.The 80s Bruno? The pissing 80s?! Are you out of your mind?! Grease came out in 1978 you cretin! It was based on a musical that opened in 1971 depicting life in a US High School in the 50s – what on earth is 80s about Grease?! What’s that?! Bruno also says it was mixed by Pete Waterman so maybe he was referring to him? No, not having that. Let me listen to his intro again…

…no he’s clearly referring to the film Grease. Just unforgivable. Oh and on checking , it wasn’t remixed by Pete Waterman but by Phil Harding and Ian Curnow of PWL.

Enough of Brookes and his inaccuracies though. Why were John Travolta and Olivia Newton John back in the charts in 1990? It was to celebrate / promote the release of the film on home video. OK, that makes sense but why, if it’s a megamix, does it only feature one song? The actual record featured three songs from the soundtrack ( “Summer Nights” / “You’re The One That I Want” / “Greased Lightnin'”) but TOTP just showed “Summer Nights”. I’m guessing it was a timing issue as the full megamix is 4:46 in length so maybe they just showed the end of it which happened to be solely “Summer Nights”? It does look odd I have to admit.

“Grease Megamix” peaked at No 3. Xmas party anyone?

Back to the songs we’ve already seen now as MC Hammer brings us “Pray”. Taken from his album “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em” which went diamond (note, not platinum but diamond) in the US. Now either I didn’t know or I had erased from my memory but in conjunction with the album, there was a film imaginatively entitled Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em: The Movie. Ye Gods! I looked it up on IMDB and the storyline is listed as:

MC Hammer returns to his hometown and, with the help of some funky tunes, defeats a druglord who is using kids to traffic his stuff.

WTF?! That sounds…no, I’ve got no words. And of course, you know what’s coming next…user reviews! Yes, I had to go there again didn’t I? Now these reviews were either deeply ironic or deeply insane. I’m not sure which. Here’s one…

“This movie is clearly about the epic, nay, cosmic struggle of good and evil, that films like Full Metal Jacket or Apocalypse Now can’t even begin to address. Even though Hammer is a rapper, and generally that would be a bad thing, this film depicts him as the sword of justice fighting the evil drug dealers of Oakland with his “posse”. Hammer plays dual roles in this film: one as himself (i.e. MC Hammer) and another as the Reverend Pressure who is known for his jaw dropping performances. This leitmotif is similar to the star turns of Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in films like “Coming to America” where they play multiple characters except that Hammer is clearly better. This film also has a really important message: say yes to Jesus and Hammer, no to drugs and violence. I cannot imagine a film that does a better job of capturing the essence of the nineties, except perhaps Cool As Ice. Sadly, however, this film was overlooked by the Academy.”

Wow! A lot to unpack there but basically Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em: The Movie is better than Full Metal Jacket and Apocalypse Now according to somebody called cindi0724. Not only that but it can only be eclipsed by the film Cool As Ice which of course was Vanilla Ice’s acting debut. Starting to see a theme in cindi0724’s thinking yet? I like the way she notes that the film was ‘overlooked by the Academy’. Overlooked?! Completely disregarded and ignored and with good reason more like.

Want to hear another review? Here’s someone called Pilgurn’s take on MC Hammer’s film:

“Without a doubt sending out an inspiring message to the youth of all our great cities around the globe. Just to free your legs and to dance and rap your way through disputes and even into a girls heart. Absolutely fantastic bombastic, watch it any time you wanna get jiggy.”

As a mantra for life, it’s hard to argue against freeing your legs and dancing and rapping your way through disputes isn’t it?

“Pray” peaked at No 8.

After the “Grease Megamix”, we now get another 50s inspired medley, this time courtesy of Status Quo. Unlike Enigma who took 26 years to record “Sadeness (Part II)”, the Quo only took 80 days to release “The Anniversary Waltz (Part II)” as the follow up to Part I. To put this in context, Michael Palin managed to circumnavigate the world in 80 days back in 1989 whilst it took Rick, Francis and co the same amount of time to come up with some money for old rope, Jive Bunny style medley bullshit. Quite the achievement.

Following Part 1’s formula to the letter, this was some rock ‘n’ roll standards from the likes of Buddy Holly, The Everly Brothers and Chuck Berry all cobbled together but unlike Jive Bunny – and this was the band’s crucial differential – they were all recorded live. There was even a a small sketch of a rabbit on the record sleeve to make the point. You weren’t fooling anybody boys – this was unmitigated shite. Even so, their army of fans still bought enough of it to send it to No 16 in the charts proving you can actually fool all of the people all of the time if they are Quo fans.

OK so this was the last TOTP to be broadcast before the Xmas Day show (which I won’t be reviewing as there’s nothing in there that I haven’t already passed comment on) but when did we actually find out the Xmas No 1 for 1990? Well, it was officially announced on Sunday 23rd December 1990 meaning the chart run down featured in this programme did NOT tell us who it was. All of which was just as well for Cliff Richard as he was only at No 2 by this point with “Saviour’s Day”. Was it this this TOTP performance that ensured he got enough last minute sales to get over the line? Possibly. We know that he also did The Des O’Connor Show in the run up to Xmas which Andy, the singles buyer at the Our Price store where I was working, put great stock in and predicted it would win Cliff the race.

Aside from being his 13th No 1 record, “Saviour’s Day” was also the single that meant that he was the first recording artist to achieve a chart topper in five different decades – a fact that was much trumpeted at the time I recall. He would only last one week at the top due to some dastardly, cunning ploy by Iron Maiden to manipulate the singles sales in the slowest week of the year after the Xmas rush but that’s all for a future post.

Close but no cigar time for Vanilla Ice as “Ice Ice Baby” will fall just short of becoming the Xmas No 1 by one week despite it spending its fourth week at the top here. He would follow up that single’s success by releasing a cover of Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” in the new year which would make the Top 10 but it was all down hill from then on in with no subsequent releases even making the Top 20 over here….until that Jedward mash up thing in 2010 but let’s not go there again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptTkBtpUfbw

Inevitably after two megamix singles already on the show, we end with the most famous medley transgressors of them all. “The Crazy Party Mixes” was the seventh (!) hit for Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers who couldn’t resist the lure of Xmas and just had to release a festive party single to delight us all. It was taken from an album called “It’s Party Time” (of course it was) and, like all their releases, it was hateful.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM5pmNpxCxw

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Snap!	Mary Had A Little Boy	Nope
2	The Carpenters	They Long To Be (Close To You)	No but we all have a Carpenters Greatest Hits CD don’t we?
3	INXS	Disappear	Not the single but I have it on something somewhere I think
4	Enigma	Sadness (Part 1)	No
5	John Travolta and Olivia Newton John	Grease Megamix	Negative
6	MC Hammer	Pray	Nah
7	Status Quo	The Anniversary Waltz (Part II)	Are you joking me?
8	Cliff Richard	Saviour’s Day	Hell no!
9	Vanilla Ice	Ice Ice baby	No No baby
10	Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers	The Crazy Party Mixes	And once again Hell no!

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000v4b8/top-of-the-pops-20121990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

TOTP 13 DEC 1990

Posted on May 14, 2021 by 80stastic

And we’re back! After a two week hiatus due to BBC4’s coverage of the snooker, TOTP Rewind is back in the groove as we hoover up the last couple of shows from the year 1990. This episode picks up the story of the year with just 12 days to go until Xmas and I am working my very first Our Price yuletide retail season. Despite being frenziedly busy, I’m enjoying it.

I was working in the Market Street store in Manchester which was a three floor unit (two of them trading) so the number of staff employed there was pretty sizeable – although this was certainly not the case in future years – meaning there was always somebody to chat to. This was especially true if you got yourself to work early. An early arrival you see meant that you could grab yourself a place at the processing table upstairs, set yourself up with a brew and a fag (yes in 1990 you could still smoke in work premises kids!) if so inclined, a stash of stock for processing and settle in for a comfortable day off the counter chatting to your processing neighbour. Hell, if you were really organised, you could commandeer the staff cassette player and relax with some tunes of your choice as well. The store seemed to run itself to a point (or that’s how it seemed to me). There was very little delegation of tasks. If you were a temp (like me) then you were counter fodder whilst the permanent members of staff would only come down if buzzed due to a customer queue build up. Ah yes, the buzzer system. I’m pretty sure it went like this:

1 buzz = it’s busy, help serving required

2 buzzes = management required (refund, swap etc)

3 buzzes = a very attractive woman has entered the shop. Cue a stampede of male staff members rushing down the stairs for a look.

It sounds horrendous to me now but that sort of thing seemed to be much more prevalent and tolerated back in the un PC early 90s. I can honestly say that I never used the three buzzes signal!

Right that’s enough record shop reminiscences for now, back to TOTP and if it’s Xmas it must be Shakin’ Stevens right? Sadly, this was the case as despite it being five years since his Xmas No 1 record “Merry Christmas Everyone”, Shaky still thought it was worth a go bunging a festive ditty out there again. Somebody would buy it wouldn’t they? Apparently so as here is the Welsh Elvis with “The Best Christmas Of Them All”.

This really was bottom of the barrel stuff. Shaky’s chart career had been in decline for a while by this point. This was only his second hit of the calendar year and also only the second time he had made the Top 20 in three years. There would be only a further three Top 40 singles after this one – yet another Xmas effort in 1991, a collaboration with Queen’s Roger Taylor in 1992 and a cover of Pink’s “Trouble” in 2005 which I think was linked to him winning ITV’s entertainment show Hit Me, Baby, One More Time.

“The Best Christmas Of Them All” was utter crud with Shaky phoning it in over a formulaic 50s honky tonk rhythm and some banal festive lyrics about Santa Claus, Rudolph, presents and peace in the world. Just horrible. He’s backed in this performance by some bizarre looking characters. There’s two fellas dressed as waiters one whom looks like Jason Donovan (if you squint) and the other who seems to have modelled his hairstyle on Francis Rossi of Status Quo. The rest look like they should be down the Queen Vic pub for a right old cockney Xmas knees up except for the drummer – isn’t that Boabby the landlord of The Clansman from Still Game?

“The Best Christmas Of Them All” peaked at No 19.

The most predictable re-release of the year up next as following the phenomenal success of The Righteous Brothers‘ “Unchained Melody” due to its use in Ghost, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” was hastily put out into the market place as a follow up. One of the most recognisable songs of all time (in 1999 it was ranked by performing rights organisation the BMI as the most-played song of the 20th century), this was always going to be a surefire hit all over again and it duly sped up the charts all the way to No 3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DHI-g4Fq4w

I had no idea until now that this track was at the centre of one of the most bizarre chart battles ever back in 1965 when it was first a hit for The Righteous Brothers. Apparently Cilla Black had recorded her take on the song as well and both versions were released in the same week. Cilla hit the front early and maintained a lead over Bobby and Bill until peaking at No 2. with The Righteous Brothers right behind her at No 3. In the heat of the battle for No 1, the US boys were flown into the UK to spend a week promoting their version and it tipped the balance in their favour as they won the battle for top spot with Cilla falling away to No 5. Forget your Oasis V Blur, this was the mother of all chart battles.

As with “Unchained Melody”, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” was also heavily featured in a hit film (albeit a few years previously)…

It’s been covered by just about everybody – aside from Cilla, it’s also been recorded by Dionne Warwick, Elvis and Hall & Oates to name a few. Oh and this lot…

Yazoo? In 1990? What was this all about? I really don’t know and despite searching the internet I can’t find a reason why “Situation” was released in 1990. There was no Best Of compilation to promote (the first Yazoo Greatest Hits album didn’t arrive until 1999) and it wasn’t featured in a film Righteous Brothers style. Originally hurriedly recorded as the B-side to their debut hit “Only You” (the only other song they had was “Don’t Go” which was deemed to good to throw away as a B-side) it was actually released as the duo’s first single in the US and although only a minor hit, on the Billboard Hot 100, it topped the Billboard Hot Dance Club Play chart there. This 1990 incarnation was named the Deadline Mix and was produced by French DJ, producer, remixer and label owner Francois Kevorkian and it was he that also produced that original 1982 12″ mix for the US market back in the day.

My abiding memory of the 1990 version is watching a work colleague called Scott getting ribbed mercilessly by the rest of the staff for dancing to it while listening on headphones on the shop stereo after the store had shut for the day. He was really going for it (in silence to the rest of us) before he eventually realised that he had attracted a crowd. Scott’s reaction? “Fuck you, it’s a great track”. Well said Scott.

“Situation ’90” peaked at No 14.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvsOYx8_NyU

Right, who’s this then? Malandra Burrows? Oh yeah, I remember this. In an attempt to prove that it wasn’t just Aussie soap stars that could have chart hits in our country, a star of one of our own soaps was pushed into the world of pop. Malandra played a character called Kathy Glover in Emmerdale (or Emmerdale Farm as it was when she first appeared in it) and by 1990 had been on our screens for about 5 years (her character was called Kathy Merrick by this point). With that established profile, perhaps she was seen as a safe bet for popularity and appeal with UK pop fans?

“Just This Side Of Love” was the song with which she debuted as a pop star and incidentally is also very nearly the same title as the aforementioned Yazoo’s third single release. Apparently the song was actually featured in an Emmerdale plot line as it was sung by Malandra’s character at a village concert. In that respect, it was more Letitia Dean and Paul Medford than Kylie and Jason. Malandra gives a confident performance here and she would go onto release three more singles before the decade was out but none of them made the Top 40.

My abiding memory of this song was that when copies of the 7″ single arrived in store and we opened up the box, they were all damaged in a rather peculiar way as the silver bit in the middle with all the song credits on seemed to have spilt over onto the actual grooves of the record. It was like a thermometer had exploded and there was mercury everywhere.

Oh and that was a terrible pun Simon Mayo on Emmerdale Farm and The Farm. Idiot.

Blimey, these next four songs were leaving it late for a title at the Xmas No1 spot. Breakers they may have been but time was against them if they wanted to get anywhere near the summit of the charts. We start with INXS and “Disappear”. The second single from the band’s “X” album, I always preferred it to the more organic (yes I do sound like a knacker!), frantic “Suicide Blonde”. It was a more polished production and the track had room to breathe – a good , sold, proper record. The difference between the two reminded me of my feelings towards the U2 singles “Desire” and “All I Want” from “Rattle And Hum”. I guess it was the pop kid in me coming out again.

In the US, “Disappear” was a much bigger hit where it went Top 10 but it was left stranded at No 21 over here. I think it just got lost in the Xmas rush. The fact that it was released a whole three months on from “Suicide Blonde” (and indeed the album) seems like an error of judgement by the record company in hindsight.

The mostly black and white video showcases Michael Hutchence at his lithe, rock god peak. There would be terrible tragedy to come but for the moment, INXS were maintaining their status as one of the world’s top rock acts just nicely than you very much and it would lead to perhaps the band’s ultimate high of performing at Wembley Stadium in July of the following year to a sold-out audience of 74,000 fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKAa20ukR-s

Oh God! Remember this? The Gregorian chant phenomenon? This was truly strange wasn’t it? The Enigma project was the brainchild of producer Michael Cretu who wanted to create a new form of music that didn’t follow the traditional blueprints and that had an added element of mysticism. He found the ingredient he was after in Gregorian chant which he combined with an almost hypnotic, downbeat rhythm and some whispered vocal parts in both French and Latin on the hit “Sadness (Part I)”. Who would have though that those disparate parts would make a huge No 1 record? In the wake of Enigma’s success, a plethora of Gregorian chant albums were suddenly released and became massive sellers. The one I remember the most was called “Canto Gregoriano” by Coro De Monjes Del Monasterio Benedictino de Santo Domingo de Silos. It was a double album but the cassette version came in individual cases which was a bugger to display on the shelves. Cue the sellotape!

Having been a No1 hit all over Europe, it was inevitable that “Sadness (Part I)” would make its way to these shores and indeed it did but with one small difference – for the UK release the title was changed from its original spelling of ‘Sadeness’ to ‘Sadness (Part I)’ dropping an ‘e’ like a late 80s raver. I recall this being pointed out to me by an Our Price colleague called Sarah though I had no idea that it was all to do with the sexual desires of Marquis de Sade! This makes more sense when you realise that the French bits roughly translate to ‘Sade tell me’ (‘Sade dis moi’) and ‘Sade give it to me’ (‘Sade donne moi’). It’s kind of like a Gregorian chant version of “Je t’aime… moi non plus” by Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. Pure filth in other words!

The parent album “MCMXC a.D.” was also a No 1 and a 3 x platinum seller in the UK seller despite neither of the subsequent singles issued from it making the Top 40. Enigma returned in early 1994 with a Top 3 hit in “Return to Innocence” which had a more world music flavour to it and another No 1 album in “The Cross Of Changes” before a dose of diminishing returns set in. Oh and by the way, any idea how long it took before “Sadeness (Part 2)” was released? 26 years! Yes, it wasn’t until their 2016 album “The Fall Of A Rebel Angel” was released that part II came into existence as its lead single. Truly an enigma.

Despite its near iconic status these days, George Michael‘s “Freedom ’90” only achieved a chart high of No 28 in the UK (No 8 in the US). Was it third single from the album syndrome? The Xmas rush? We’ll never know for sure but it does seem a very meagre peak for a song that has had so much written about it over the years. My contribution to the word count (for what its worth) is that clearly George was in turmoil at this point. Legally trying to disentangle himself from record company Sony and artistically trying to free himself of the “Faith” era image, “Freedom ’90” was a statement in more ways than one. Intensely autobiographical charting his career from Wham!…

Heaven knows we sure had some fun, boy
What a kick just a buddy and me (what a kick just a buddy and me)
We had every big-shot good time band on the run, boy
We were living in a fantasy (we were living in a fantasy)

via “Faith”…

I went back home, got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV

and onto a declaration of intent to move away from all that into his next phase as an artist…

But today the way I play the game is not the same, no way
Think I’m gonna get myself happy

The lyrics were backed up by the hard hitting video. After not doing one at all for “Praying For Time” and with something cobbled together off a South Bank Show documentary for second single “Waiting For That Day”, a video was produced for “Freedom ’90” but George refused to appear in it. Instead a quintet of super models (Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Tatjana Patitz, Christy Turlington and Cindy Crawford) were the stars of the show lip synching the lyrics while the storyline literally dismantled George’s “Faith” persona image by image.The iconic jukebox was usurped by a CD player before being blown up whilst the leather jacket was set on fire. Powerful stuff. Michael would use the promo video format to make an even more explosive point when his “Outside” video depicted him dressed as a police officer kissing another male officer in retaliation to his arrest by an undercover police officer for ‘engaging in a lewd act’ in a public toilet in Beverly Hills.

The comments about the “Freedom ’90” video on the songfacts.com website include one which states

‘I have heard that Michael added “90” to the title so that it would not be confused with the song by Wham! with the same title. Yeah, like that would ever happen!’

Well, I can confirm that this did actually happen. How do I know? Because it was me that made that error. Sitting in the staff room at the Our Price store I was working in I was checking out the official chart rundown in Music Week (the go to trade paper for the UK record industry). Seeing the title “Freedom” against the name George Michael, I had a senior moment (despite being aged just 22 at the time) and exclaimed to my assembled work colleagues ‘Why is “Freedom” by Wham! back in the charts?’. After much guffawing and comments from the assembled throng such as ‘Oh shit, have Wham! broken up?’, I finally realised my mistake. What a schmuck.

The song was covered in 1996 by Robbie Williams to celebrate his emancipation from boy band Take That. I remember looking at the single’s track listing and thinking ‘So there of the four tracks on here, one is a remix, one is an instrumental and one is an interview?! Where are your songs Robbie?’. He would confound me a year later with his mega successful “Life Thru A Lens” album with its five hit singles. Who knew? Well, Guy Chambers probably.

I have no recollection whatsoever of The Carpenters being in the charts again in 1990. I an only assume that the re-release of “(They Long to Be) Close to You” was part of the promotion campaign for greatest hits compilation “Only Yesterday” which was released in 1990. Or was it a cynical Xmas cash in by label A& M as it seems to have been a double A-side with “Merry Christmas, Darling”. Whatever the reason, it was statistically their first UK Top 4 hit since 1978’s “Sweet, Sweet Smile”.

You have to love The Carpenters don’t you? C’mon. This track has been covered by many an artist including Stevie Wonder, Dian Ross and Gwen Guthrie but I also want to give a shout out to Rick Moranis who gamefully took the song on in the film Parenthood…

The 1990 release of “(They Long to Be) Close to You” peaked at No 25.

Now then, here comes Seal throwing off his Adamski / “Killer” cocoon to emerge beating his wings as a fully fledged pop star in his own right. “Crazy” sounded like a hit instantly, from the very first time I heard it. Boasting a tight yet atmospheric production courtesy of Trevor Horn, it was packed full of hooks, a propulsive beat and Seal’s soulful vocals tying it all together. It seemed like a great deal of thought had gone into its composition but not in a cynical, let’s just pour all the currently popular ingredients into the pot and see what concoction brews way; it was more organic (there’s that word again!) than that.

It was also the first single from his debut album that appeared 6 months later and which would become a No 1, double platinum seller. Indeed, I bought it myself and I even caught him in concert where he was as confident as he was in this performance. He’s definitely giving off a vibe that says ‘look, being a pop star is the only thing I could possibly do – I have no choice’. Adamski who?

“Crazy” peaked at No 2 , the highest charting single of his career.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSM3psgx6sQ

Oh come on! This is really taking the piss! After Technotronic had released a megamix of their previous hits called…erm…”Megamix” just a few weeks earlier, now Italian house outfit Black Box were jumping on the bandwagon! Ah, but they weren’t totally stealing the idea. Yes, it was a mash up of their previous chart hits just like Technotronic but there’s was called “The Total Mix” – different eh? See? Bloody snake oil salesmen the lot of them. Oh and you can add Snap! to the list of shysters who released “Mega Mix” the following year.

“The Total Mix” peaked at No 12.

Right, home stretch now as after ten hits that were new to the show, we end with three that we had seen before. We start with Chris Isaak who is up to No 10 this week with “Wicked Game” (it will rise no further however). I have to say that I’ve always admired Chris’s hair – always immaculate. Only potentially bettered by Mark Ronson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K38ZwN_8crg

What? The music? Oh, well, yes…I liked “Wicked Game” and I think my wife bought the album. So atmospheric was its sound that it was always destined to be used as the soundtrack to a car commercial and director Jeffrey Darling duly delivered in 2001 with this advert for the Jaguar X-Type.

It’s still Vanilla Ice at No 1 with “Ice Ice Baby” and it’s become one of those songs that’s taken on a life of its own way beyond the parameters of its original release. Not convinced? OK, here it is being ‘officially paroled’ on US TV show Glee in 2010…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33vZFEpy4AU

and here’s the song coming full circle with Jedward and Vanilla Ice! Yikes!

Back to 1990 though and could Mr Ice keep all opposition at arm’s length in the battle for the Xmas No 1?*

*SPOILER ALERT!

No he couldn’t – Cliff toppled him at the death obviously

The play out video is Dimples D with “Sucker DJ”. Who was Dimples D? Well, she was only the first female hip hop artist to achieve a No 1 record in Australia. That’s who. As for the phrase ‘Sucker DJ’, well it was used by Cameo in their “Word Up” single. Witness:

Now all you sucker DJ’s
Who think you’re fly
There’s got to be a reason
And we know the reason why

but were Run DMC the true originators with their “Sucker M.C.’s” track back in 1983?

You try to bite lines but rhymes are mine
You’s a sucker M.C. in a pair of Calvin Klein
Comin from the wackiest, part of town
Tryin’ to rap up but you can’t get down

Or was it in fact Dimples D all along…

"Sucker DJ" was first recorded in 1983, when Dimples D was still in school. Here's the original version: https://t.co/G87HCd7Ghs #TOTP

— Top Of The Pops Facts (@TOTPFacts) May 7, 2021

“Sucker DJ” (the 1990 version) peaked at No 17.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl8GEsW0V1k

Order of appearance	Artist	Song	Did I Buy it?
1	Shakin’ Stevens	The Best Christmas Of Them All	The word ‘Best’ and Shaky don’t really belong together do they? Of course not!
2	The Righteous Brothers	You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’	Nope
3	Yazoo	Situation ‘90	I did not
4	Malandra Burrows	Just This Side Of Love	The wrong side though Malandra – no
5	INXS	Disappear	Not the single but I have it on something somewhere I think
6	Enigma	Sadness (Part 1)	No
7	George Michael	Freedom ‘90	No but I have the Listen Without Prejudice Vol 1 album
8	The Carpenters	They Long To Be (Close To You)	No but we all have a Carpenters Greatest Hits CD don’t we?
9	Seal	Crazy	No but I bought the album
10	Black Box	The Total Mix	Total shit more like – no
11	Chris Isaak	Wicked Game	I think my wife had the tape of the “Wicked Game” compilation album once upon a time but no idea where it would be now
12	Vanilla Ice	Ice Ice baby	No No baby
13	Dimples D	Sucker DJ	Nah

Disclaimer

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000v4b6/top-of-the-pops-13121990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

TOTP Rewind – the 90s

My memories of 90s chart music

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TOTP 20 DEC 1990

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Some bedtime reading?

TOTP 13 DEC 1990

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Some bedtime reading?