TOTP 07 JAN 1993

1992 has bitten the dust and to celebrate the dawning of 1993, there are a glut of new songs on the first TOTP of the new year. Traditionally a time when singles don’t have to sell that many copies in the post Xmas sales slump to bag a Top 40 placing, let’s see if we can spot any examples of that here….

Could this be a contender? Now admittedly there was a time when Jesus Jones were one of the hottest properties on planet pop but that was back in 1991 and we all know that the old adage about a week being a long time in politics can also apply to the music industry. Would they still have an audience nearly two years on? Well possibly but one big and committed enough to send their new single “The Devil You Know” straight into the Top 20?

This was the lead single from third album “Perverse” which was one of the first albums ever to be recorded entirely on computer and the concept behind it according to rock journalist Stephen Thomas Erlewine was “to make techno palatable for the pop masses”. A worthy ambition or a pointless pursuit? The music press of the time couldn’t make their minds up and reviews were mixed. The album has been revisited more positively retrospectively so maybe Mike Edwards and co were just ahead of their time?

As for the single itself, I think I can hear the sound they were trying to meld but I’m not sure that it was any good. There’s an Eastern influence to it at the beginning (an Iranian instrument apparently) and a bit of a panel beating techno riff where the chorus should be. All a bit of a mess really. The single went to No 10 and I’m stating for the record that chart peak would not have been achieved at any other time of the year.

Having just been pipped to the best selling single of the year title late doors by Whitney Houston, Snap! have followed up “Rhythm Is A Dancer” with their ode to the daleks “Exterminate!”. Not as gigantic sounding a tune as its predecessor, it was hardly understated either though. There some Enigma “Sadeness” vibes thrown in the mix but the biggest change is the omission of rapper Turbo B from proceedings. I’m not sure of the exact timeline but he left the Snap! family around this time and so it was left to ex-Madonna backing singer Niki Haris to do the vocals and be the public face of the whole project. Given “Exterminate!” achieved an ultimate chart peak of No 2, you’d have to say she did a pretty decent job. And yet, asked to name a song by Snap!, how many of us would opt for it? “Exterminate!” you say? By Snap!? Like Kajagoogoo having hits without Limahl, it just doesn’t compute.

Something else that didn’t compute was this next performance by a band making their TOTP debut. More specifically it was their look that didn’t make any sense.

The Frank And Walters (not Frank And The Walters Tony Dortie!) hailed from Cork, Ireland and “After All” would turn out to be their only UK Top 40 hit when it peaked at No 11. A couple of EPs got them noticed by the Go! Discs label who released their debut album “Trains, Boats And Planes” from which “After All” was taken.

I liked “After All”. It was quirky, catchy and blazed its own little trail for unlikely pop stars. Listening back to it now, it seems to have a sliver of “Sit Down” by James about it. However, it did seem to divide opinion. I once worked with someone who absolutely detested it though I could never quite work out why.

So getting back to their image, my use of the word ‘unlikely’ doesn’t rally cover what was happening in front of our eyes with this performance. Bright orange roll necks and hideously patterned trousers?! Really?! Here’s singer Paul Linehan (courtesy of @TOTPFacts) with some more detail:

And the hair? Here’s Paul again:

None of the above explains why though? Were they influenced by the Trevor and Simon ‘Singing Corner’ characters from Going Live? Or were they the influencers? Was Mike Flowers watching this show and taking hairstyle notes for launching his tilt at the charts with that bizarre cover of “Wonderwall” in 1995?

The Franks came close to a second hit when follow up single, the wonderfully titled “Fashion Crisis Hits New York” stalled at No 42. A gap of five years until their next album was never going to be good for maintaining momentum and the charts would never make their acquaintance again though they have continued to release material with their last album coming in 2016.

After that portal into a possible parallel world where the charts weren’t full of nasty, homogeneous dance hits, that wormhole is firmly shut by the arrival of next act Slipstreem and their hateful single “We Are Raving”. A rave version of “Sailing”?! What in the name of Rod’s beard? Who were these people and just what the f**k was going on here? Actually, I couldn’t care less who they were and I know what was going on. This was cashing in pure and simple. Jumping on a bandwagon and then bastardising it for a shit hit and a quick buck.

And what a dog’s dinner of a performance to promote it. There’s the obligatory two guys on keyboards because hey! This is a dance hit you know. Then there’s two dancers in wet suits (obviously) and the ‘singer’ in a de rigueur puffa jacket. And then there’s the other two. A Captain Birdseye lookalike is behind a ship’s wheel bedecked with a tartan scarf but for any viewers who hadn’t quite cottoned onto the Rod Stewart connection there was the shittest Rod lookalike you’ve ever seen stumbling about the stage ramming the point home. He’s definitely not wearing it well.

“We Are Raving” peaked at No 18.

After that unedifying spectacle, it’s time to chill out, with some come down music and that must be the first time rockers Little Angels have been described as such. Let’s face it, they’re hardly Röyksopp are they? We do, however, find them in reflective mood at least with new single “Womankind” which would prove to be their biggest ever hit when it peaked at No 12.

Taken from their No 1 album “Jam”, it’s a decent rock ballad and singer Toby Jepson has some pipes on him for sure. I could imagine it being used to soundtrack some dramatic scene in a big Hollywood blockbuster. They’ve even got some orchestra strings thrown into the mix to give it a big, epic feel. Plus, I always quite liked the phrase “desperate proclaimer” in the lyrics. Yeah, not a bad effort all round.

Are you kidding me? FIVE Breakers?! This better not be how it’s going to be for the whole of 1993! There had better be some decent tunes amongst them then. We start with…ah…a decent tune from Prefab Sprout. How can anyone not love Paddy McAloon? As the 2018 song he wrote for the aforementioned Rod Stewart “Who Designed The Snowflake” says in its lyrics, he’s a genius work. So many great songs and yet, like XTC who I referenced in my review of 1992, so little commercial success.

“Life Of Surprises” was a new track taken from the previous year’s Best Of album of almost the same name and its peak of No 24 meant it became only the band’s fifth ever Top 40 hit. Indeed, in their whole career they only had six all told. Compare that to, oh I don’t know, Snap! who were on earlier who had fourteen UK Top 40 entries. More than double! Where’s the justice?

That Best Of album actually supplied three of their six hits as new tracks “Sound Of Crying” and “If You Don’t Love Me” had earlier achieved chart highs of Nos 23 and 33 respectively. “Life Of Surprises” was actually an older track from fourth studio album “Protest Songs” from 1989 and had already been released once as the B -side to “From Langley Park To Memphis” single “Nightingales”. It’s typical McAloon fare with a fine melody allied with Paddy’s almost whispered vocals. Lovely stuff.

Paddy is still writing and recording with his most recent release being 2019’s “I Trawl The Megahertz”. He suffers from tinnitus which makes his output even more remarkable and has grown a massive Gandalf like beard in later life, far removed from his clean cut image in this video.

Hasn’t this one been out before? I’m sure “Love See No Colour” by The Farm has already been a hit once hasn’t it?

*checks internet*

OK, so not a hit (it peaked at No 58) but it had been released 12 months previously. Why was it given another promotional push? Well, I’m guessing that sales of their second album of the same name had been a massive disappointment after their debut “Spartacus” had been a No 1. After they’d finally got a hit single out of it by resorting to a cover of The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”, record company Sony must have wanted to consolidate on that bit of success.

Their solution was to get the band to re-record “Love See No Colour” with an emphasis on a synth sound and gospel feel. They even commissioned a new video to help promote it. None of their strategies really worked though as the single got no higher than No 35. Sales of the album didn’t improve and the band were dropped. Quite a fall from their “All Together Now” peak, a 2.0 version of which they were presumably trying to recreate by re-recording “Love See No Colour”.

You wait for ages for one band from Cork to have a hit and then two turn up at once! Yes, unbelievable as it seems, The Sultans Of Ping FC, like The Frank And Walters earlier in the show, were also from Cork. It’s not quite up there with that bizarre phenomenon of The Wonder Stuff, Pop Will Eat Itself and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin all hailing from Stourbridge in the West Midlands as Cork is three times the size population wise but it’s still quite a thing. There was a third Cork band around at this time called Stump who achieved a minor chart placing with the gloriously eccentric single “Charlton Heston” but for now it was all about The Ping.

Having released a trio of singles on independent label Divine Records during 1992 (including the marvellous “Where’s Me Jumper”), the band had been picked up by Epic through which their debut album “Casual Sex In The Cineplex” was released. Trailing it was the single “You Talk Too Much” which had much more of a punk vibe than their fellow Corkonians The Franks and their simultaneous hit single.

Around this time I was visiting my mate Robin in London and wandering around Piccadilly Circus we arrived at the Virgin Records store just in time to catch a p.a. and set by the band. Robin has reminded me that there were some hecklers in the audience and the lead singer came back with “we’re No 27 in the charts. Have you ever been in the charts?”. Excellent.

The album included the track “Give Him A Ball (And A Yard Of Grass)” which was inspired by a remark from his Brian Clough when talking about brilliant Nottingham Forest winger John Robertson. Here’s his quote in full:

John Robertson was a very unattractive young man. If one day I was feeling a bit off colour, I would sit next to him. I was bloody Errol Flynn compared to him. But give him a yard of grass and he was an artist. The Picasso of our game.

The legendary Brian Clough there. Still sadly missed. As for The Sultans Of Ping FC, they went through a few name alterations dropping the FC, then removing the Ping part before finally restoring it to Sultans Of Ping in 2005.

Another cover version now but an unlikely one. The decision process behind Sunscreem‘s choosing of a 1980 Marianne Faithful single that flopped takes some fathoming. “Broken English” was the title track from her comeback album after years of health and addiction problems. It is widely regarded as her ‘definitive recording’ and Faithfull herself described it as her “masterpiece”. I was surprised to find out then that it bombed in the charts peaking at No 57. The title track from it sank without trace. I have to admit to not knowing it at all so I gave it a whirl…

Hmm. It doesn’t (Sun)scream techno anthem to me I have to say. The Essex groovers version adds a few interesting squiggles in the background but I can’t imagine it being that easy to dance to but then I wasn’t spending much time in the clubs around then. It would become the band’s highest charting hit when it settled at No 13 and they would follow it up with a rerelease of early single “Pressure.

The final Breaker is a bit confusing. In my head, Arrested Development followed their huge hit “People Everyday” with another big seller called “Mr. Wendal” so what was this track “Revolution” all about? Well, both tracks were released as a double A-side. “Mr. Wendal” was from their “3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days in the Life Of…” album whilst “Revolution” was from the soundtrack to the Spike Lee directed biopic Malcolm X starring Denzel Washington. In the US they were released as separate singles but in Europe they were doubled up. I have zero recall of “Revolution” but “Mr. Wendal” was a tune. Hope we get to see that in future TOTP repeats.

A real taster next of the direction the charts would be going in this year although in truth, Apache Indian was actually ploughing his own furrow. Real name Steven Kapur, this guy grew up in the multicultural metropolis that was Birmingham in the early 80s listening to reggae and dancehall music. Creating a stage name for himself, Steven set about fusing those influences with the cultural sounds of his own Indian background. That fusion of ragga and Bhangra drew positive reactions from audiences of both genres and so bhangra ragamuffin was born or bhangramuffin as it became known.

Picked up by the legendary Island Records, Apache Indian recorded his debut album “No Reservations” in Jamaica’s Tuff Gong studios and from it came the single “Arranged Marriage”. The controversial track dared to take on the normally taboo subject of its title and provoked negative criticism from some of the Indian community. This guy was no ordinary pop star and was determined to do things his own way.

The performance here is great and nothing like we’d really seen before. There were no sitars à la Monsoon and “Ever So Lonely” from the early 80s. “Arranged Marriage” would make No 16 and was nominated for an Ivor Novello award for Best Contemporary Song. However, Apache Indian will surely be best remembered for his later single “Boom Shack -A- Lak” which took him to the Top 5.

In the Story Of 1993 BBC documentary, Kapur opened up about his experiences of this year and he explained that he was good buddies with Shaggy, one of the year’s other big reggae fusion/dancehall movers alongside Shabba Ranks and Snow. The charts they were a-changin’..,

From someone brand new to one of the biggest artists in the world. Paul McCartney hadn’t released any new material in the 90s so far but delivered on his fanbase’s hopes of a new song with “Hope Of Deliverance”. Taken from his ninth solo studio album “Off The Ground”, it was hardly the stuff of legend. Yes it was bright, breezy and positive but it was also the wrong side of predictable and ever so slightly annoying.

The album achieved gold status but didn’t furnish any further hit singles (“Hope Of Deliverance” peaked at No 18) and surely can’t be any Macca fan’s favourite album of his? This phase of his career very much reminds me of his mid 80s era when his “Press To Play” album was commercially and critically received in much the same way and the singles from it were only minor hits. He would return four years later with “Flaming Pie” which got his best reviews since 1982’s “Tug Of War”.

If we were thinking that Whitney Houston’s reign at the top would be over when the Xmas decorations were put away for another year then we were completely and utterly mistaken. Any of us under that illusion hadn’t factored in that the film “I Will Always Love You” was taken from, The Bodyguard, wasn’t released in the UK until Boxing Day therefore instantly giving the single another impetus of sales. Whitney’s run at No 1 still had plenty of legs left yet.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Jesus JonesThe Devil You KnowNah
2Snap!Exterminate!Nope
3The Frank And WaltersAfter AllLiked it, didn’t buy it
4SlipstreemWe Are Raving NO!!!
5Little AngelsWomankindNo but I had a promo copy of their album
6Prefab SproutLife Of SurprisesNo but I had the Best Of album it was taken from
7The FarmLove See No ColourNope, neither time it was released
8The Sultans Of Ping FCYou Talk Too MuchSee 3 above
9Sunscreem Broken EnglishNo
10Arrested DevelopmentRevolutionNo my wife had the album though
11Apache Indian Arranged MarriageInteresting though it was, no
12Paul McCartneyHope Of DeliveranceVery weak – no
13Whitney HoustonI Will Always Love YouI did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0017wtw/top-of-the-pops-07011993

TOTP 22 OCT 1992

Growing up as a young child in the 70s was mad looking back on it now. I’m not talking about the things that today’s youth would find incomprehensible – only three TV channels, no mobile phones nor internet, people actually using public telephone boxes to make phone calls rather than piss in…No I’m talking about all the mad things that passed as entertainment that I would witness on TV on a regular basis. For example, Johnny Morris providing voiceovers to give the impression of talking animals in Animal Magic. Or televised pub games like bar billiards, arm wrestling and shove ha’penny in The Indoor League as hosted by dour Yorkshire cricketer Fred Trueman. Or The Golden Shot, a game show that centred around a TV camera attached to a crossbow guided by a contestant that fired bolts at targets.

Then there were the madcap TV personalities that came into our living rooms to supposedly liven up our often dull and drab lives in that decade. Mainstream entertainers came in the form of people like Dick ‘Ooh you are awful but I like you’ Emery and impressionist Mike ‘And this is me’ Yarwood who had a large roll call of celebrities that he could imitate but seemed to have very little personality of his own.

One of those celebrities that Yarwood mimicked was eccentric TV science presenter Magnus Pyke who had died three days before this TOTP was broadcast. Pyke was one of a number of scientific folk who came to TV fame in the 70s with his peers being the likes of astronomer Patrick Moore, botanist David Bellamy and the Tomorrow’s World presenters (Michael Rodd was my favourite). The Sky At Night host Moore was infamous for his monocle, rapid speech style and xylophone playing and Bellamy for his enthusiasm and speech impediment but none of them to my knowledge had ever appeared on a bona fide chart hit like Magnus Pyke. That came courtesy of Thomas Dolby and his 1982 track “She Blinded Me With Science” which was not only a No 5 hit in the US but also provides a neat link back to the blog which is, after all, supposed to be about pop music. Pyke appeared on the record and in the video with his shouts of “Science!” and the rather creepy exclamation “Good heavens Miss Sakamoto, you’re beautiful!”. I wonder if any of tonight’s acts can boast links to scientists? I don’t think I’ll need to consult Nostradamus’s book of prophecies to know the answer to that one.

We start with those little scallywags The Farm and their rendition of The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”. I say scallywags but I’m not sure that’s entirely the right word to describe what has gone on here. The Cambridge Dictionary definition of scallywag is someone who has behaved badly but who is still liked. Well, the first part is applicable in that the band behaved very badly indeed in recording this appalling cover version of an 80s classic. Were they still liked afterwards though? They shouldn’t have been after this frightful crime against music. They only managed three further chart hits after this (two of which were remixes of “All Together Now”) and their final album “Hullabaloo” sank without trace so I think it’s fair to say they weren’t universally liked after “Don’t You Want Me”.

The Farm originally recorded the track for NME compilation album “Ruby Trax” which was to commemorate 40 years of the publication. The concept behind it was to get contemporary acts to record covers of classic No 1 singles of the past. I remember it coming out but don’t think I heard much of it other than this and the Manic Street Preachers version of “Theme From M.A.S.H.” which was released as a single and made No 7 on the charts. We didn’t get to see it on TOTP though. Looking at the track listing, there are some covers I wouldn’t mind hearing so I may have to investigate further but for now, how about this…?

It’s time for the nostalgia section again which was a new initiative by the TOTP producers to help celebrate the show’s forthcoming 1,500th episode. This week it’s the famous clip of Roxy Music performing “Virginia Plain” but what’s that Tony? It’s from 1978 you say? Erm…no, it was their debut single from 1972 actually but hey, you were only six years out. Wow! 50 years old this year then and it still sounds as fresh, daring and exciting as ever. Supposedly it influenced Squeeze’s “Up The Junction” as Chris Difford wanted to write a song whose title only featured in the lyrics for the first time at the very end of the track.

“Virginia Plain” peaked at No 4 on its initial release in 1972 and at No 11 when rereleased in 1977. Ah, so even if Tony Dortie was referring to the single’s second chart foray he still got the year wrong.

In recent months the show has reverted to referencing the Top 40 singles chart more heavily than when it first relaunched in October’91. Back then we just had the Top 10 countdown but after a few bits of tinkering we finally have what constitutes a full chart rundown again as Nos 40 through 11 are displayed on screen as Roxy Music played. Tony Dortie refers to it as the bottom half of the charts in his intro which isn’t strictly correct as that would be Nos 40 to 21. Not sure you could say No 11 for example was the bottom half of the charts in all honesty.

One of those ‘bottom half of the charts’ acts is Chris Rea who’s at No 16 with “Nothing To Fear”. Now I don’t remember this single at all though I do recall the album it was taken from as it was called “God’s Great Banana Skin” and had a picture of a…yes…banana skin on the front cover. This track was the lead single from it and what an odd choice it was. The full version of it is 9:10 in length! For a single! And that was the version made available to radio initially. Rea’s manager explained that they wanted to trail the album with the full length version so as to get over the gravitas of the album. An edit of the song was later released but even that was 6:45.

The song’s length really doesn’t aid the performance here. For the first 2:45 it’s just Chris noodling away on slide guitar. Finally a drumbeat enters the fray but it’s another 30 seconds before Chris sings a word. So that’s 3:15 in and the song is only just warming up! There then follows 1:20 of Chris delivering his vocal in full on monotone style and that’s it! What were the producers thinking! The structure of the song just didn’t fit with the fast moving TOTP format.

The sentiments of the song though were laudable highlighting that there is nothing to fear from people who differ from us in terms of nationality, religious faith or skin colour. Unfortunately most listeners had fallen asleep before they got to that message.

“Nothing To Fear” peaked at No 16.

From soporific to ABBA-tastic now as 1992 continues its mission to rekindle the flame of popularity of the Swedish Super Troupers. After Erasure topped the singles chart earlier in the year with their “Abba-esque EP”, prominent ABBA tribute act Bjorn Again responded with an answer record called “Erasure-ish” which I thought was quite clever at the time but I’m not so sure of the erudition of its quippery now. I think I feel the same about the their treatment of the two Erasure songs that they cover which are “A Little Respect” and “Stop”. We get the former in this performance and I recall not minding it at the time but it now sounds insipid next to the originals.

To be fair to Bjorn Again, they’ve got the ABBA traits and mannerisms down pat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tribute act though some of them have some great names. Check these out:

  • Jamirrorquai
  • Proxy Music
  • Amy Housewine
  • Phoney M
  • Earth Wind For Hire

“Erasure-ish” peaked at No 25.

This next record is peak 1992 or rather whenever I hear it, I am immediately transported back to that year and what I was doing…which included selling a lot of this single to the punters in Rochdale where I was working in the Our Price store there.

We’d seen Arrested Development on TOTP earlier in the year in one of those satellite link up exclusives (possibly in a US charts feature) performing “Tennessee”. That single had failed to chart in the UK (although it did when rereleased the following year) but we couldn’t resist “People Everyday”. Based on Sly &The Family Stone’s 1969 hit “Everyday People”, it retains the positive vibe and message of hope for equality between differing races of the original whilst adding their brand of hip hop styling and rhymes. It was one of those feel good songs that got you out of bed on a cold late Autumn morning especially if you had to be on the 7.00am bus to Rochdale from Piccadilly Gardens like I did. My wife loved this one and also it’s follow up Mr Wendal so much she eventually bought the album though I don’t think it’s been played in years. She wasn’t the only one as the single glided effortlessly to No 2 in the UK Top 40. By the way, I can’t find a clip of this satellite performance from New York (they seem to have an aversion to the TOTP studio) so the official video will have to do instead.

Actually in the studio are Take That who, as host Tony Dortie says, are dominating the front covers of the teen press who cannot get enough of these lads who are grinning from ear to ear as they can’t believe their luck. By the time they ended the first era of the band in 1996, they’d racked up eight No 1 singles and three No 1 albums. However, in that period they actually released seven DVD/video titles of either promo videos or live concerts more than double the amount of studio albums they recorded. I think that’s quite a telling statistic in terms of their musical output. They have released five studio albums since reforming in 2006 in their defence though.

“A Million Love Songs” is their current hit back in October 1992 and there’s a strong “Careless Whisper” vibe about the performance here what with the sax player having quite the spotlight at some points. Meanwhile Gary Barlow has turned up looking like he’s just finished taking a spitfire for a spin at Benson airfield.

“A Million Love Songs” peaked at No 7.

We’re sticking with a now fairly established running order – six songs, four Breakers, another act (possibly an ‘exclusive’) then the Top 10 rundown and finally the No 1. Seems a reasonable format to me actually. Anyway, the first Breaker tonight is “Miserereby Zucchero and Luciano Pavarotti. Although a massive superstar in his native Italy, Zucchero was mainly known in the UK for “Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)”, his duet with Paul Young from the year before. I’d quite liked that but I wasn’t on board for another opera/pop hybrid. We’d only just had “Barcelona” by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé back in the charts for a second time and I’d hated that on both occasions. This was actually the title track from Zucchero’s latest album which included collaborations with Elvis Costello, Bono and Paul Buchanan from The Blue Nile which sounds kind of interesting (apart from the Bono bit) but frankly I’m not committing to exploring it any time soon.

“Miserere” the single peaked at No 15.

We must be due a nasty dance tune by now and sure enough, here comes one right on time. Their last single was called “Don’t You Want Me” but unlike The Farm, it wasn’t a cover of The Human League classic. No, Felix were not interested in cover versions, they were recording their own material and on one of the most prolific hit-making labels around in Deconstruction, home to recent hits by K-Klass and Bassheads. “It Will Make Me Crazy” was their follow up and was more of the same to my ears.

The video was made by Lindy Heymann who is a prolific and diverse promo director. In 1992 alone she made this Felix video plus productions for Suede, The Auteurs and Hull (my home of the last 18 years) chart stars Kingmaker. She has gone in to work with everyone from The Proclaimers to the aforementioned Take That.

“It Will Make Me Crazy” peaked at No 11.

Oh great! Some more thrash metal! According to Wikipedia Megadeth are one of the ‘big four’ US thrash metal bands with the others being Metallica, Anthrax and Slayer. When I was growing up in the early to mid 80s, the UK charts were also dominated by a ‘big four’ – Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, Culture Club and Wham! Frankly, I think we got the better deal.

“Skin o’ My Teeth” was taken from Megadeth’s album “Countdown To Extinction”. Do you think it was their “Sweet Child ‘o Mine” m’oment?

The final Breaker comes from Bon Jovi who we only saw the other week but who are a mover and shaker in the Top 40 as the highest new entry at No 5 with “Keep The Faith”. Seen as a triumph of remodelling their sound in the wake of grunge but of also retaining their ‘Jovi-ness’ for want of a better word, it was a decent comeback from a band that had made their name with hair metal hits and wearing spandex. Some of the album didn’t seem that different to their past output though – I don’t hear that much difference between say “In These Arms” and something off “Slippery When Wet” but I’m happy to be told exactly why I’m wrong by the Jovi fanbase.

The video seems designed to show off Jon’s newly shorn locks and not much else but then that was also an important part of the strategy to show how the band had adapted and moved on.

How did it ever come to this? A male dance troupe specialising in striptease on the UK’s premier music show that hosted some of the most iconic performances in pop history like David Bowie’s “Starman”, “Wuthering Heights” by Kate Bush and “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. This was just wrong. Wrong and preposterous.

I can only assume The Chippendales were at the height of their popularity and that their management felt confident enough to release a single under their name. “Give Me Your Body” was that single and there really isn’t any point in trying to critique it as a piece of music because it isn’t one. It’s just background noise to the preening and flexing of some over sculpted, baby oiled up posers who get off on being screamed at by an hysterical mob.

Hang on though, aren’t there some direct parallels to be made between this and the video for an early single by a band who were on earlier in the show and who were then being fawned over as the next big teen sensation? I refer, of course, to this…

At least The Chippendales didn’t resort to the use of jelly. “Give Me Your Body” peaked at No 28.

Tasmin Archer is No 1 for the second of two weeks with “Sleeping Satellite” and finally we have a song on the show that has some sort of scientific theme to it which, if you remember, was how this blog post started.

The titular ‘sleeping satellite’ was in fact the moon with the song chronicling humanity’s obsession with space exploration in the 60s and the idea of the human race populating a different planet. Or rather how that dream seemed to die after the space race had effectively been won. Here’s Tasmin herself courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

Five years after Tasmin’s stellar success, her name was resurrected into the mainstream as part of The Badger Parade on Channel 4’s The Harry Hill Show:

Order of appearance ArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1The FarmDon’t You Want meNo I didn’t want you
2Roxy MusicVirginia PlainNot the original in 1972 as I was four but I bought their Street Life Best Of 14 years later with it on
3Chris Rea Nothing To FearNah
4Bjorn AgainErasure-ishNope
5Arrested DevelopmentPeople EverydayNo but my wife had the album
6Take ThatA Million Love SongsNo
7Zucchero and Luciano PavarottiMiserereNever happening
8FelixIt Will Make Me CrazyAnd no
9MegadethSkin o’ My TeethI’d rather pull my own teeth out
10Bon JoviKeep The FaithNot the single but I had a promo copy of the album
11The ChippendalesGive Me Your BodyFor the love of God no!
12Tasmin ArcherSleeping SatelliteGood song but no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0016cdg/top-of-the-pops-22101992

TOTP 15 OCT 1992

It’s mid October in 1992 here at TOTP Rewind and something very odd is happening to the UK singles charts which seems to have been infiltrated by a string of acts that have very little to do with music. Now if you haven’t been enjoying these TOTP repeats on BBC4, you may want to argue they could apply to most of the Top 40 occupants but I’m talking about a very specific form of chart interloper. These were entities that have no genuine musical connection nor talent but are just spin offs from another form of ‘entertainment’. Who am I talking about? Well, here’s an example; “Tetris” by Dr Spin, a track based on the theme tune to a computer game. Ah yes but that’s just one song you may say. You’d be wrong. In a week or two there will be another computer game based hit by an act calling themselves Ambassadors Of Funk (oh the irony) entitled “Supermarioland”. OK, so there was a mini craze for computer game inspired novelty hits. So what? It’s hardly the sound that ate the world. True but that’s not the end of it. Soon our eyes and ears will have to cope with the sight and sound of an all male stripping troupe gyrating up the charts as The Chippendales make their musical bow. Not to be outdone in the manliness stakes, the WWF Superstars will soon be pile-driving their way into Top 5 with their “Slamjam” single.

Where was all this coming from? Well, one influence may have been ITV’s new Saturday teatime show Gladiators that had just premiered the weekend before this TOTP aired. Remember that? Where members of the public tried to outdo the programme’s ‘gladiators’ in a series of physical challenges called things like Swingshot, Joust and Pole-Axe? It was presented by Ulrika Jonsson and John ‘Awooga’ Fashanu and made stars of the ‘gladiators’ like Jet, Hunter and Wolf. It was quite the ratings sensation for a while. Although there was no spin off single from the show until 1996 (an horrendous cover of Thin Lizzy’s “Boys Are Back In Town”) it was certainly part of the cultural landscape. Unfortunately we will be seeing two of these cultural giants in tonight’s TOTP.

We start though with Sunscreem who I was amazed to find had eight Top 40 hits. I have to admit that I couldn’t have named any of them without looking at their discography. I do remember them being around at this time and that they were a dance act but their material seemed to have passed me by. Listening to this track “Perfect Motion”, they’re a lot more accessible than I would have imagined, a hybrid of dance floor bpm and pop. They sort of remind me a little of New Order – certainly the single’s title sounds like a New Order track. Image wise, singer Lucia Holm was a sort of grunge version of Yazz. Hmm. Yazz does New Order? Is that really the comparison that I’m looking for?

Now what’s going on here? Pan’s People on TOTP in 1992? According to host Mark Franklin it was part of a retrospective strategy to celebrate the show’s forthcoming 1500th edition by revisiting highlights from its past. Pan’s People are dancing to “(They Long To Be) Close To You” by The Carpenters which was a No 6 hit in the UK in 1970. Mark though tells us it’s from 30 years ago to the day in 1972. I’ve checked the official charts database and can’t see anything on there to confirm that the song was in the charts then. According to the next-episode website there was no TOTP broadcast on that day so what gives? Surely the producers haven’t just made it up to fit with a neat narrative?

Pan’s People were the dance troupe that I remember from my first memories of the show which include Mud performing “Tiger Feet”. At some point they changed to Legs & Co and then Zoo was it? When were Ruby Flipper then? It doesn’t matter I suppose. Pan’s People’s performance isn’t too un-PC I guess. I’m sure there are some right howlers in the archives though.

Meanwhile back in the studio in 1992 we find Bizarre Inc featuring Angie Brown once more with their hit single “I’m Gonna Get You”. There’s two things that sprang to my attention whilst watching this back. Firstly, what was the deal with the keyboards made to look like swings? It’s literally the worst look for a musical instrument since the key-tar. Secondly, the different coloured alternate backdrops remind me of something but I can’t put my finger on it. It’ll come to me….oh God. I’ve got it. It’s Naked Attraction that weird dating show on Channel 4! The very last thing I want to put my finger on! It’s the multi coloured booths that the naked contestants stand in which reveal their bodies from the feet up! Not that I watch it myself you understand but I’ve seen it on Gogglebox. Honest!

“I’m Gonna Get You” peaked at No3.

From Naked Attraction to “Erotica” by Madonna. What a segue! Was this the peak of Madge’s controversy? She’d already incurred the wrath of the Vatican three years earlier with her “Like A Prayer” video and its imagery of the Ku Klux Klan’s burning crosses but now she was back with a three pronged attack on society’s moral standards according to some commentators (Mary Whitehouse must have had something to say about it all). Firstly there was the “Erotica” single with its S&M undertones which sees Madonna assuming the pseudonym of Mistress Dita and its MTV banned video (presumably the version shown on TOTP was heavily edited). Then there was a whole album called “Erotica” with its themes of fantasy, desire and pleasure. Lastly, and this was the real moral majority baiting clincher, there was the ‘coffee table’ book Sex. Has there ever been such a misnomer? Well, apparently not as it has sold 1.5 million copies and is the biggest and fastest selling coffee table book of all time. This was a 128 page spiral bound tome that featured images of nudity, simulations of sexual acts, bondage etc. It came in a sealed bag presumably to stop casual browsers seeing what all the fuss was about. I remember being in WH Smith around this time and some curious teenagers asking the poor sales assistant to open the seal so they could peruse the contents. Happily, she refused to do so.

As for the song “Erotica”, was it really that different to “Justify My Love” from two years prior? I’m not so sure. Maybe Madge was just taking continuing that theme to its logical conclusion? Where could you go with it other than to illicit more outrage? I have to admit I wasn’t that convinced.

“Erotica” the single peaked at No 3.

I may not have been convinced by Madonna’s latest offering but it was wholly preferable to the next act as we arrive at the first of these chart outliers that I mentioned before. I speak of Doctor Spin and the Game Boy influenced track “Tetris”. Now, there had been computer games when I was growing up in the 70s but despite amazing the pre-teenage me, they were incredibly basic. I had a Binatone console…

Ah, happy memories. By 1992, things had advanced dramatically but I had never gone back to the world of gaming after my 70s foray. Consequently, when Our Price for whom I was working started selling them in the early 90s I was a bit lost. I was in the Rochdale store at this time and we were stocking a Nintendo and Sega range. I recall there being a big deal about the latter’s release of the follow up to Sonic the Hedgehog. The release date was specifically shifted to a Tuesday so the marketing for it could be framed as Sonic 2sday which was the 24th November. That marketing budget by the way was $10 million and it worked generating 1 million sales in the US and 750,000 in the UK in a day selling out everywhere.

All of this helped establish gaming as not just a legitimate leisure pursuit but as one of the fastest growing. The cash-in spin-off was inevitable I guess and so it came to pass that Andrew Lloyd Webber exploited the gap in the market with this heinous load of nonsense. Who bought this? “Tetris” peaked at No 6 which presumably was the average age of the punter who purchased it.

We move seamlessly (not even a voice over intro) onto the next stage where Boyz II Men are patiently awaiting their cue. What on earth must they have been thinking about British taste watching Doctor Spin on before them?! They here to perform “End Of The Road” of course and, given its popularity back in the day, I was surprised to see very little love for it out there in Twitter land. Look at this guy for example:

Wow! If that’s what he thought of Boys II Men I wonder what he made of Doctor Spin?! As for me, I didn’t doubt these guys could sing but their staging and image was bizarre. They’ve got the prop of a streetlight which I guess references the origins of doo-wop which was clearly an influence on the band but why are they all wearing baseball caps, jackets and jeans?! It’s ludicrous. Also, why has one of them got a walking stick? Did he have a genuine leg injury or was it an affectation Mick Hucknall style? Boyz II Men – crazy name, crazy guys!

Four Breakers now starting with a cover version which is surely one of the most pointless and also most forgotten in musical history. It had been nearly two years since The Farm had been riding a wave of popularity off the back of two huge hit singles in “Groovy Train” and “All Together Now”. Debut album “Spartacus” had risen swiftly to the top of the charts. However, subsequent singles releases had been minor hits and by the time they were releasing new material from second album “Love See No Colour”, those minor hits had turned into flops. The title track and follow up single “Rising Sun” had both missed the Top 40 altogether so what do you do when in need of a hit to reverse your chart fortunes? We all know the answer to this by now. Their choice of cover version was decidedly odd. Choosing The Human League’s classic No 1 “Don’t You Want Me” seemed frought with issues not the least being that Phil and co’s version was so definitive that anything that came after it was destined to be seen as inferior. That applied to the video as well as the song so what The Farm served up as their promo looked ghastly. Some sort of karaoke bar setting with sing-a-long lyrics on screen and a cameo by well known alcoholic George Best? My God. What were they thinking?!

The cover version trick worked though and returned the band to the Top 20 and paved the way for a rerelease of the “Love See No Colour” single which made No 35. However, it proved to be a false dawn and their only two subsequent chart entries were with reissues of “All Together Now”.

I’ve seen many a band come and go, many a musical genre rise and fall in the course of these TOTP reviews but one constant has been AC/DC. Racking up hits whatever else was going on in the charts, they never seemed to go out of fashion. They are back in our Top 40 courtesy of a live version of “Highway To Hell” which was to promote their live album called…erm… “AC/DC Live”. I’m guessing this was released to plug the five year gap that would follow the release of 1990’s “The Razors Edge” album and its follow up “Ballbreaker” which didn’t arrive until 1995. I remember that “AC/DC Live” was a double album and the slip case for the cassette version was a bugger to get back on without tearing it after taking it off. That, and that the single made No 14, are all I have to say about this AC/DC release.

The Wedding Present’s single for this month was a number called “Sticky” which I don’t remember at all but then they did release 12 singles in 1992 as part of their “Hit Parade” project so I’m not going to give myself a kicking over that.

The clip of the video we see here has a bit of a Twin Peaks vibe to it with a bloke in the desert telling the listener to get out using a speeded up animation effect before a devil figure wrestles with someone in a white room with a black and white chequered floor. Very weird. The single peaked at No 17, the second consecutive single to do so in their attempt to equal Elvis Presley’s record for the most hit singles in one year.

The final Breaker comes from The Orb. After the genre breaking ‘chess’ performance on the show for the last single “Blue Room” that apparently had a major effect on Robbie Williams and his view on how to make music, they’re back with standalone single “Assassin”. I have to say this does/did little for me but then I was never a bpm fiend. The video reminds me of one that a group of students on my course made way back in the mid 80s at Sunderland Polytechnic. We all had to write, film and edit a small film as part of the module. My group’s was called “Wet Dream” but it was not what you’re thinking and nothing approaching similar to Madonna’s “”Erotica” promo! One of the other groups ran out of time so in the end just filmed some of them sat down and added some visual effects over the top to a soundtrack of Jean Michel Jarre. I didn’t think much of it at the time but I think I prefer it to The Orb’s video.

“Assassin” peaked at a No 12.

The return of Bon Jovi next. It had been four years since their last album “New Jersey” and the musical landscape had changed almost beyond recognition. Added to that, the band were facing some existential demons after taking a deliberate hiatus during which Jon Bon Jovi wrote a film soundtrack and Richie Sambora a solo album. Jon is on record as saying that “We’d been kicked in the teeth by Nirvana but we didn’t pay attention to that. We got rid of the clichés, wrote some socially conscious lyrics and got a haircut. I didn’t do a grunge thing and I didn’t do a rap thing but I knew I couldn’t rewrite “Livin’ On A Prayer” again so I didn’t try. And it paid off”.

It was true. “Keep The Faith” the single and the album were no attempt to jump on the Nirvana bandwagon but nor were they more of the poodle rock on which they’d made their name. For a start it was (and remains) the longest album they’d ever recorded clocking in at 66 minutes. The album version of the title track is nearly 6 minutes long itself though it was edited down for radio. Now I’m not suggesting that longer means a more mature sound necessarily but neither were they looking for the quick thrill opening of something like “Born To Be My Baby”.

The album would spawn six hit singles and go to No 1 in the UK and No 5 in the US. Incredibly they released the last single from it (“Dry County”) nearly 16 months to the day since the album came out. It was, in short, a monster.

Jon Bon Jovi seems to be channelling his inner Davy Jones from The Monkees in this performance with his maracas action. I had a promo copy of the album through work at one point but I’ve no idea what happened to it. You can’t really say the same of Bon Jovi.

Tasmin Archer is at No 1 for the first week of two with “Sleeping Satellite”. It really was a magnificent achievement for a debut single especially when you consider that major, established acts like Madonna and Bon Jovi had new material out at the time. Written about the moon landing and the Apollo missions of the 60s and early 70s, it must be the best (and only) song to reference space hardware since Kirsty MacColl had a hit with Billy Bragg’s “New England” in 1985. Do you hear it played on the radio these days? Maybe on the retro stations like Absolute 90s. Whether it is or not, there will always be a part of 1992 that belongs to Tasmin Archer.

And finally Cyril (one for you Esther Rantzen fans), there was an epilogue to this show where we got a glimpse (possibly unwanted) of an act on next week’s show and it’s the second of those cultural chart outliers. We are ‘treated’ to a few seconds of the new single by The Chippendales “Give Me Your Body” plus a personal invitation from one of them to join them on the show next week. You have been warned.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1SunscreemPerfect MotionNope
2The Carpenters(They Long To Be) Close To YouNo but everyone has a Carpenters Greatest Hits album don’t they?
3Bizarre Inc featuring Angie BrownI’m Gonna Get YouNo
4MadonnaEroticaNo, I wasn’t convinced
5Doctor SpinTetrisSod off!
6Boyz II MenEnd Of The RoadI didn’t think it was the auditory equivalent of rabies but I didn’t buy it either
7The FarmDon’t You Want MeNo, no I didn’t want you
8AC/DCHighway To Hell Not my thing
9The Wedding PresentStickyNah
10The OrbAssassinSee 8 above
11Bon JoviKeep The FaithNot the single but I had that promo album for a while
12Tasmin ArcherSleeping SatelliteGood song but no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001648v/top-of-the-pops-15101992

TOTP 29 AUG 1991

The Summer of 1991 has nearly shed its last vestiges as we look towards the Autumn. And what happens in the Autumn? Yes, a new football season begins. Despite enduring years of disappointment, I still retained some small hope that 1991/92 might be the season when my beloved Chelsea actually win something. Back in the early 90s, we were a mid table side, we could beat the best one week and lose to the worst the next. We were consistently inconsistent. On the day this TOTP was broadcast, Chelsea signed a new player to help take us to the next level. There was just one problem. It was Vinnie Jones. The renowned hard man and one time member of Wimbledon’s ‘Crazy Gang’ was signed from Sheffield United for £575,000 and his main contribution that season was to break his own record for getting booked when he was cautioned for a tackle after just 3 seconds against his former club. Oh great.

Not only did Vinnie follow Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne so closely that he was infamously photographed grabbing him by the balls in 1988, he would also follow Gazza into a music career. For “Fog On The Tyne” read “Wooly Bully” which Jones recorded a version of in 1993. It failed to chart. Vinnie still thought he had a talent for singing though and in 2019 took part in The X Factor: Celebrity where he finished 6th out of 14 entries and performed covers of “I Fought The Law” and “Should I Stay Or Should I Go” by The Clash in Live Show 4 which is possibly the worst thing I have ever seen or heard…

Talking of ‘hard men’, this show starts off with someone who would make a name for himself as an actor playing some ‘tough guy’ roles along the way in flicks such as The Yards, Four Brothers and Shooter before branching out into lighter roles in Ted and Ted 2 and Instant Family. Back in 1991 though, he was more known as the brother of one of the guys in New Kids On The Block. It is of course Mark Wahlberg or as he was known in his pop career Marky Mark.

Having originally been involved in the NKOTB project but dropping out before they found fame, Wahlberg took his music career in a hip-hop direction with the creation of Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch and the decision brought immediate dividends with debut single “Good Vibrations” which was a huge global hit including being a US No 1 record. Nothing to do with the Beach Boys hit of the same name, this track instead based around “Love Sensation” by Loleatta Holloway which, of course, was famously sampled by Black Box for their mammoth No 1 “Ride On Time”. Had Wahlberg not heard that record before deciding to re-use its famous sample for his own track? He couldn’t have come up with something different? There was one difference between the records though and that was the acknowledgment of Loleatta Holloway who appears on stage here with Wahlberg. Presumably record label Interscope had taken note that Holloway had sued the heck out of Black Box for their uncredited use of her vocals and didn’t want to enter into litigation with such a formidable person.

The other thing that Wahlberg was known for back then was his pants or more precisely his Clavin Klein pants and his naked torso both on show in this performance. He would go onto star in Calvin Klein adverts the following year. Having watched them back, they really are quite repugnant.

“Good Vibrations” peaked at No 14 and was the only UK hit for Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch.

PM Dawn are next with “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss” having slotted snuggly into the No 3 spot behind Right Said Fred and Bryan Adams. I had high hopes that they would displace both on its surge to a triumphant No 1 but in the end they made no inroads on either as both stood firm against the onslaught of dreamy, Spandau Ballet infused R&B.

The video features a very brief cameo by Spandau’s Tony Hadley at its denouement. Well, his band were totally inactive at the time so why not earn some extra cash? The director of said video was a guy called Mark Pellington who sounds like he should have been playing centre midfield for Sheffield Wednesday but who actually went on to produce promos for the likes of U2, Pearl Jam, INXS, REM and Public Enemy amongst a host of others.

As for their album that host Mark Goodier plugs in his intro, “Of The Heart, Of The Soul And Of The Cross: The Utopian Experience” would go gold in the UK and platinum in the US off the back fo the success of “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss”.

Apparently, after the death of the band’s Prince Be, remaining member DJ Minutemix re-recorded all the vocals of the band’s catalogue to ensure he got more royalty money and for a while they were the versions of the duo’s output that you could hear on Spotify. Didn’t Squeeze do a similar thing to get around the issue of their record label owning the rights to their back catalogue?

Back in the studio we find EMF with their latest single “Lies”. I know they weren’t a one hit wonder as some seemed to believe and could name maybe four of their singles at a push but this one has clearly escaped my memory banks. Listening to it now, the formula was starting to wear a bit thin. This really did sound like all their other songs with the exception of “Unbelievable”. Apparently this was the track they issued as a follow up to that single in the US as they skipped the UK follow up “I Believe” thinking it wasn’t right for the US market. I’d have to day that my mind really isn’t tuned in to the finer nuances between those two songs to have made such a distinction other than “Lies” has a very slight Spaghetti Western feel to it. As for Mark Goodier’s claim the the band had sold a million albums in the US, I can’t find anything online to corroborate that but certainly they were a big deal over there with “Unbelievable” going to No 1.

As well as being commercially successful across the pond, they also attracted controversy and notoriety surrounding the track “Lies”. Initial pressings of “Schubert Dip” originally had the song beginning with 8 seconds of a sample of the voice of John Lennon’s assassin, Mark Chapman, reciting the first two lines of the lyrics to Lennon’s “Watching the Wheels”. Lennon’s widow, Yoko Ono, objected to its inclusion and as a result all subsequent pressings of the album have omitted the sample. Apparently pressings that include it are very rare and much sought after. Not up there with the A&M pressing of “God Save The Queen” by The Sex Pistols a mint copy of which sold for £13,000 in 2019 maybe but worth keeping an eye out for all the same.

EMF would return with their second album “Stigma” in 1992 but it seriously under performed – it was only on the charts for two weeks while its predecessor reached No. 3 and charted for 19 weeks. It would take a link up with Vic Reeves for a cover of “I’m A Believer” by The Monkees to take them into the Top 3 one last time in 1995.

Now I don’t think I would ever have described Prince as a ‘tough guy’ but he certainly didn’t flinch when it came to courting controversy. “Gett Off” was the first single to be released under the public billing of Prince And The New Power Generation and was the lead single from the “Diamonds And Pearls” album. It was also filthy. So filthy in fact that it had to undergo a drastic edit before it could be shown on TOTP. So, the first line of the chorus “Gett off, twenty three positions in a one night stand” was deleted for starters. Next, the lyric “Now move your big ass ’round this way, so I can work on that zipper, baby” hadn’t a hope of making the cut and finally the couplet “She said you told her a fantasy, that got her all wet (wet)” was included but had the word ‘wet’ drowned out by …a woman moaning?! How did that work?! In the immediately preceding lyrics, Prince used the word ‘jizz’ that also got past the BBC censor so maybe they weren’t on top of their game that week. Or maybe they just didn’t know what the word ‘jazz’ meant? I know I once worked with someone who’s never heard of it before.

As for the sound of the song, I wasn’t that impressed at the time much preferring subsequent singles off the album “Cream”, “Money Don’t Matter 2 Night” and the title track. However, listening to it in 2021, I can hear how it really was damn funky.

However, I can’t actually hear it without thinking of this sketch from The Fast Show...

Dear God no! Not Steve f*****g Wright with another of his ‘hilarious’ comedy records. FFS! There he is with the tin hat on miming with a guitar. Bellend! Of course he had previous for this sort of shit. As way back as 1982 he’d released a single called “I’m Alright” under the name Young Steve And The Afternoon Boys and follow it up a year later with “Get Some Therapy” as Steve Wright And The Sisters Of Soul. “The Gay Cavelieros” followed in 1984 (no, not at all offensive!) and finally in the 80s “I’m So Angry” by Mr Angry featuring Steve Wright. All were based around catchphrases or characters employed by Wright on Radio 1 afternoon show and they were all f*****g awful. Not content with having tortured us with this crud throughout the 80s, he decided we needed some more of his ‘humour’ in the 90s with “I’ll Be Back” by Arnee And The Terminaters. Obviously playing on the current popularity of the Terminator 2: Judgment Day film, this just stank the studio out. Not funny, no musical talent, it was idiotic and anyone who bought it must have been as well. Some f*****s did though as it went all the way to No 5. Completely and utterly inexplicable.

Simple Minds with a third single from their “Real Life” album next. This one was called “Stand By Love” and one generous soul tweeted while watching the BBC4 TOTP repeat that it was ‘The Most meaningless song ever written’. Ouch! To be fair, this was stadium rock by numbers by this point. All the ingredients for a Simple Minds song seemed to be there but it tasted as bland as the guy introducing it, Mark Goodier. Even the video is anonymous with it just being yet another in concert promo of the band.

“Stand By Love” was already at its peak of No 13.

The story of a band starting from humble indie beginnings before scoring a huge hit and bagging a major record deal is one that permeates the history of pop music. Yet for every James who switched to major Fontana from Rough Trade in the wake of “Sit Down” and set themselves up for a career of longevity and success, there is also the other side of the coin as exemplified by The Farm. Their 80s indie singles garnered them acclaim but no sales but when “Groovy Train” and “All Together Now” hit as the new decade broke, their popularity was enough to earn them a No 1 album in “Spartacus”.

Taking note of this success were Sony Records who signed the band and even gave them their own record label called End Product. With the backing of a major, what should have been a continuing tale of hits and fame turned into a footnote in the story of 90s music as the band struggled to re-establish themselves in the charts. Second album “Love See No Colour” bombed whilst the only Top 20 hit from it came from that ever desperate ploy of doing a cover version, this one being “Don’t You Want Me” by The Human League.

Before all of that though came “Mind”, the lead single from that sophomore album. It’s not that it’s a terrible record, it’s just that it’s not a very good one either. The chorus is pleasant enough but the rest of it is as sluggish as its progress up the Top 40 (where it petered out at a peak of No 31). And those shockingly awful lyrics like these:

Remember all the good times that we had
Some of them happy, some of them sad

Seriously though, what were they thinking?!

A genuine rock legend now as David Bowie is back in the TOTP studio after what seemed like forever but this time with his new(ish) band Tin Machine. This appearance was part of a big publicity push to relaunch the project with the release of their second album due out on the following Monday. They had already done Wogan in the week. For me though, once you’d got past the fact this was yer actual Bowie up there, the music just didn’t cut it. “You Belong In Rock ‘n’ Roll” was dull, dull dull. It actually belonged in the bargain bin (which is probably where it ended up). I even preferred Bowie’s much maligned late 80s output to this. Then of course there was all that nonsense with the chocolate eclair being shredded by guitarist Reeves Gaberels. What was that all about? Well, here’s @TOTPFacts with the answer:

Just ridiculous. What a load of jizz! Talking of which, how overexcited must the other acts in the studio that night have been to be appearing alongside David Bowie?! Let’s remind ourselves who they were again. Well, there was EMF (could be worse) The Farm (dreary), Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch (oh deary) and Steve Wright (Dear God!). Bowie must have felt like he’d stepped into a parallel universe. I hope he thought it was all worth it.

“You Belong In Rock’N’ Roll” peaked at No 33.

Third time on the show for Right Said Fred and “I’m Too Sexy” but first time for their promo video. Had they been in the studio alongside Bowie*, Richard Fairbrass could have had a reunion with him as he worked with David as a session bassist in the mid 80s and appeared in the videos for “Blue Jean” and “Loving The Alien” alongside him.

As for the video for “I’m Too Sexy”, well, it’s all very knockabout fun made on a cheap budget by the looks with the scenes within it a direct correlation to the lyrics. There’s catwalks, shirts being pulled off, cars, images of Milan, New York and Japan, and of course a hat. According to IMDB database that bit where Fred Fairbrass pulls off his brother Richard’s hat as the three Freds walk down the street was improvised and Richard’s reaction of surprise is genuine. Oh come on! There’s a string attached to the back of the hat which Fred used to yank it off. Was Richard really not aware of that and not in on the joke?

“I’m Too Sexy” stayed at No 2 for six consecutive weeks.

*Late update:

There’s only time for two Breakers this week but they were both memorable for different reasons. “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt ‘N’ Pepa would be another of those records that peaked at No 2 behind Bryan Adams and would surely have been a No 1 if the UK record buying public weren’t behaving so bizarrely as to keep the same record at the top of the charts for 16 weeks.

With AIDS very much acting as its backdrop, this was basically an upfront discussion about the dangers of unprotected sex in the form of a pop/rap song. The track was originally released on the trio’s “Blacks’ Magic” album but in the UK, it is more well known as being on their “Greatest Hits” album that seemed to appear very rapidly in October, possibly rush released to cash in on the single’s success?

The lyrics included some memorable lines none more so than the three way conversation in the middle 8:

Yo, Pep, I don’t think they’re gonna play this on the radio
And why not? Everybody have sex
I mean, everybody should be makin’ love
Come on, how many guys you know make love?

The brilliance of the track was the dichotomy at the heart of it. Whilst the subject matter was decidedly heavy, it was addressed in such a playful manner and backed up with an insanely catchy sound. A very clever rerecord all round. A huge hit globally (though not especially in there native US), it went to No 1 in eight countries including Germany where it was the first original song by an American hip-hop act to achieve that feat.

The second Breaker was significant mainly because of who it was by. Dire Straits had not released an album since the all conquering “Brothers In Arms” in 1985, an album so massive that it is the eighth-best-selling album in UK chart history. More than its commercial feats though, it was its cultural influence that made its legend. It was the first album to be recorded entirely digitally which perfectly lent itself to CD and would promote sales of that format within the rock/pop genre like never before. Despite being around since 1982, CDs had mainly sold within classical music markets but “Brothers In Arms” changed everything and became the first album to sell a million copies in that format. It became the default demonstration disc used by shops to persuade customers to turn to CD players. So huge was its perceived connection to the CD technology that it almost became a well worn joke.

Up against that legacy, anything the band released next was on a hiding to nothing. “On Every Street” was the album they came up with and despite going to No 1 and achieving double platinum sales in the UK, it was still dwarfed by “Brothers In Arms” which had gone 14 times platinum in this country.

“Calling Elvis” was the lead single and I have to say I found it a particularly drab affair. The Gerry Anderson themed video is fun though and reminds me of the Team America: World Police film from the makers of South Park. Very bad taste but very funny as well. “Calling Elvis” the song on the other hand was just very bad. If I wanted a song about Elvis Presley then there are loads of other songs that are more worthy of attention. How about “Blue Moon Revisited (A Song For Elvis) by Cowboy Junkies or “Tupelo” by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds. Hell, I’d take “Walking In Memphis” by Marc Cohn over “Calling Elvis”! Mark Knopfler seemed very preoccupied by Elvis as he would write a song called “Back To Tupelo” as a solo artist.

Anyway, the single that announced the return of Dire Straits wasn’t a big hit peaking at No 21 but then I guess they weren’t really a singles band and the record company would have been more concerned about sales of the album. I was slightly more tolerant of the follow up single “Heavy Fuel” which was a very obvious but desperate attempt to rewrite “Money For Nothing” but that missed the Top 40 altogether. I did say they weren’t really a singles band.

We’ve reached the halfway point of its reign at the top as “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams racks up its 8th week at No 1. It’s hard to recall what the reaction of the press and media to this astonishing chart story that was unfolding was. I suppose by week 8 there must have been talk of and reference to Frankie Goes To Hollywood and “Two Tribes” which was No 1 for 9 consecutive weeks in the Summer of 1984. Once that milestone was passed, I’m guessing all bets were off.

Looking at the songs that have been No 1 for the longest (discounting anything this century like Drake and Ed Sheeran) then once Adams got into double digits then he really was out on his own. Queen had been No 1 for 9 weeks with “Bohemian Rhapsody” in 1975 and indeed spent another 5 weeks atop the UK charts on its re-release in 1991 after Freddie Mercury’s death but that was obviously not a consecutive run. Apart from that, Slim Whitman spent 11 weeks at No 1 with “Rose Marie” in 1955 but that was so long ago that any reference to it felt like talking about another universe. By the time Adams’ run was into the teens it felt like nothing would ever dislodge it.

Of course, rather than being a once in a lifetime event, the phenomenon of “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” started a mini trend. The following year, Whitney Houston took “I Will Always Love You” to the top for 10 weeks with yet another song from the soundtrack to a Kevin Costner film in The Bodyguard and two years after that Wet Wet Wet were No 1 for 16 weeks with “Love Is All Around” from Four Weddings And A Funeral. I believe they would have even eclipsed Bryan Adams had the band not asked for the single to be deleted so sick of it themselves were they. None of them though could match the feats of “I Believe” by Frankie Laine which spent 18 weeks at No 1. Initially at the top for nine weeks, after a week at No 2, he went back up to spend a further 6 at the top. He was then toppled by Mantovani before Frankie struck back by regaining the top spot for a further 3 weeks. Quite remarkable.

The play out video is the re-released “20th Century Boy” by Marc Bolan & T.Rex. My favourite story about Marc is that he chose the surname Bolan (he was originally born Mark Feld) because he liked the name of a young actor that he was flat sharing with in Landale Road in Barnes – a certain James Bolam of The Likely Lads fame. Apparently James wasn’t too keen on the idea.

Marc had been going by the name of Toby Tyler before this which would have been great alteration for his act had he stuck with it (Toby Tyler & T.Rex). Mark became Marc after a trip to Paris and at one point he adopted an absurd affectation of adding an umlaut to the ‘o’ of his new surname making it Bölan. Thankfully it dropped off somewhere in the mists of time.

“20th Century Boy” (the 1991 version) peaked at No 13.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Marky Mark And The Funky BunchGood Vibrations Nope
2PM DawnSet Adrift On Memory BlissYes on cassette single! No idea where it is now mind
3EMFLiesI didn’t and that’s the truth
4Prince And The New Power GenerationGett OffNegative
5Arnee And The TerminatersI’ll Be BackGet to f**k!
6Simple MindsStand By LoveNah
7The FarmMindThanks but no thanks
8Tin MachineYou Belong In Rock ‘n’ RollDefinitely not
9Right Said FredI’m Too SexyNo
10Salt ‘N PepaLet’s Talk About SexDon’t think I did
11Dire StraitsCalling Elvis100% no
12Bryan Adams(Everything I Do) I Do It For YouIt’s a no
13Marc Bolan & T.Rex20th Century BoyNot the re-release but I have it on a Best Of CD

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000zwr1/top-of-the-pops-29081991

TOTP 22 AUG 1991

Welcome back to TOTP Rewind where I’m pretty sure we are about to witness the very last time that Bruno Brookes hosted the show. Yes, that annoying little git that seems have been hanging around forever is about to be deprived of one of his regular gigs and it’s come not a moment too soon as far as I’m concerned. I wonder if he knew this would be his last appearance at the time? Obviously it wasn’t just Bruno who was being ousted though. The great TOTP ‘Year Zero” cull that happened in October 1991 would take out all of those Radio 1 DJs that had been inviting themselves into our sitting rooms every Thursday for years in one fell swoop. We will see valedictory appearances by Mark Goodier, Jakki Brambles, Simon Mayo, Nicky Campbell and Gary Davies in the weeks to come. I wasn’t particularly a fan of any of them but Brookes was such an irritating little runt (yes that’s ‘runt’ although it could easily have been another word ending in ‘-unt’) that I think it’s his removal that pleases me the most. Despite his TOTP dismissal, he still had his Radio 1 post that he had been in since 1984 and somehow he would survive for another four years there before new Head of Radio 1 Production Trevor Dann axed him with the infamous words “…Why is Bruno on? You know, he seems to have a charmed life, because if the view was ‘we must get rid of the dinosaurs’, you know we’ve got this behemoth striding the airwaves of dawn”. Anyway, lets see if Brookes makes a decent fist of his last show or if he makes a few howlers like always…

He starts off with zero controversy (even his usually elaborate wardrobe has been toned down) as he introduces someone else making their final TOTP appearance on the show in Midge Ure. I was listening to some Ultravox on Spotify earlier and some of their Ure-period stuff was pretty good. I’m thinking about the likes of “All Stood Still”, “Hymn” and “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” rather than the pompous “Vienna” (which I never liked that much) and the frankly ridiculous “We Came To Dance”. A lot of Midge’s solo stuff paled in comparison to his Ultravox high points. Some of it was OK but even his most successful stuff like surprise 1985 No 1 “If I Was” I found laborious and uninspiring. “Cold Cold Heart” was hardly electrifying and could be filed under the category of ‘meh’.

Although he’s got rid of his horrid ponytail, Midge still has a cracking pair of sideburns on display here. Pretty bold stuff as I don’t remember them being an essential male fashion accessory back then. Of course, these days Midge is actually bald rather than bold. The rather ham fisted attempt to show off the song’s Celtic credentials at the end via the use of three tympanum drums looks a bit daft to me. “Cold Cold Heart” peaked at No 17.

Oh, here we go…what’s Bruno on about now? There are two records at No 21 in the chart run down? What?! For once, Brookes hasn’t made a right ricket as there were two No 21 records that week. Apparently Oceanic and Sophie Lawrence had pulled in the same amount of sales and so, after the furore the previous year surrounding the Dee-Lite / Steve Miller Band debate about who should have been No 1 after sharing the exact number of sales, Gallup had made the policy not to try and separate artists in these circumstances but would instead grant them equal chart billing.

The soundtrack to this unusual countdown was supplied by The Prodigy who were having a huge hit with their debut single “Charly”. Infamously sampling the 1970s BBC Public Information Film Charley Says, I for one did not see them becoming such huge players in the dance scene of the 90s and beyond off the back of it. That mining of vintage Childrens TV programs as source material for dance tracks would become a thing of sorts . Following in the steps of “Charly” came amongst others Smart E’s “Sesame’s Treet”, Urban Hype’s “A Trip to Trumpton” and “Roobarb & Custard” by ShaFt. This short-lived genre even had a name which I was unaware of until now which was ‘Toytown Techno’.

I would come to appreciate The Prodigy much more as the decade wore on and their Glastonbury performance of 1997 remains spectacular. For now though, I think I almost dismissed “Charly” as a novelty. Maybe I just didn’t like to be reminded of those 70s public informations films, of which none were more scary than this one:

“Rave on!” exclaims Bruno at the end of the Prodigy video sounding like he was auditioning for a part in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights. The turd. Right, here’s somebody new even if the song had been out before. Nothing to do with Elkie Brooks (that was “Sunshine After The Rain”), this little pop nugget was called “Sunshine On A Rainy Day” and was written by legendary producer Youth for his then girlfriend Zoë but it failed to find an audience when originally released in 1990 when it peaked at No 53. However a remix by Mark “Spike” Stent earned it a second shot at the charts and this time it powered all the way to a high of No 4. Youth seemed to be preoccupied with writing songs about rain back then as he also co-wrote Blue Pearl’s 1990 hit “Naked In The Rain”.

Zoë’s hit song though captured something of the essence of 1991 it seemed to me. Was it the mix of hypnotic dance beats with a folky song structure or just that uplifting, sing-a-long chorus pre-fixed with a shout of ‘Yay!’ from Zoë that so beguiled? Or was it just that Zoë herself cut quite the pop star figure in this performance? I seem to remember a few male work colleagues being quite taken with her.

Sadly for Zoë, it never got any bigger or better than this for her as a singer. One minor Top 40 hit followed called “Lightning” but her album “Scarlet Red And Blue” disappointed commercially. She returned with a new rock sound in 1996 with a song called “Hammer” which seemed to be trying to ride on the Alanis Morissette bandwagon but nobody noticed nor cared. After its failure, she left the music business to become a sculptor and potter although she has since recorded material under the alias Hephzibah Broom.

So The Prodigy creating Toytown Techno proved to be a case of “What Can You Do For Me” and passed me by completely but an act sampling proper pop records and making them into dance anthems proved to be “Something Good” I could get behind. OK, enough for the puns but I have always had a soft spot for Utah Saints. Their ambition according to themselves was to get rock ‘n’ roll into rave and they achieved this by sampling Eurythmics’ “There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)” and Gwen Guthrie’s “Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But The Rent” to outstanding effect.

Originating from the Leeds club scene where they hosted their own nights, their name was nothing to do with toothy 70s boy band The Osmonds who hailed from Ogden, Utah. No, here’s @TOTPFacts with the real story behind that name:

So now you know. Anyway, they hit big immediately with their debut single “What Can You Do For Me” making the Top 10. Now I’ve read both Dave Stewart’s autobiography and a biography of Annie Lennox and I don’t remember anything in either about there being a dispute between Annie and Dave about allowing Utah Saints to use a sample of “There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)” as Bruno Brookes suggests there is. “Annie Lennox wanted it banned but Dave Stewart thinks it’s a smash. What do you think?” he rambles in his intro. I can’t find any mention of it online either. In fact the only Utah Saints / Annie Lennox reference I found was that they did a remix of one of her solo singles (“Little Bird”) in 1993 so she can’t have been that pissed off with them.

Another song that made it to No 10 in the charts was this one from Jason Donovan although Brookes can’t resist one final incorrect chart prediction when he says that it’s “no doubt a future No 1”. Maybe he was basing his forecast on the fact that Jase’s last single “Any Dream Will Do” had gone to No 1. That song’s success though was backed up by Donovan performing it live twice a day all week at the London Palladium in the lead role of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. A little naive I think from Bruno to think that chucking out an unimaginative cover of “Happy Together” by The Turtles would repeat the trick. Not that there’s anything wrong with the song – I love the original version – but Donovan’s take on it brought nothing new to the table at all. It just seemed a lazy choice of song and indeed it had been cynically shoe horned onto his recent Greatest Hits album presumably with the intention of releasing it as a single all along.

Even Donovan can’t really be arsed to sell the record too much in this performance. At one point he does a Paul McCartney ‘whacky tombs aloft’ gesture for some reason and then his panicked facial expression immediately afterwards gives away that he suddenly thought what did I did that for?! “Happy Together” was Jason’s final UK Top 10 hit.

It’s that song by Karyn White that was a Breaker last week next. It turns out that Karyn is quite the businesswoman. She started her own music label and entertainment company in 2011 called Karyn White Enterprise Inc and also runs a successful interior design and real estate business. Not content with that, she’s also tried her hand at acting and is still recording with her last release being in 2018. If only she had given video directing a shot as well – it may have livened up the video for “Romantic”. The ‘storyline’ for it as listed on the IMDB database is this:

The music video begins with Karyn White pulling up in a sports car. She sings as she wears pearl necklaces against a gray background. A group of dancers strike poses throughout.

Seruously?! Did somebody pitch that as an idea and got the gig?! “Romantic” peaked at No 23.

“Onto more rave” announces Bruno as we head into the No 21 hit (of which there are two of course this week) sound of Oceanic with “Insanity”. Now you know me, I could never be described as a dance head but after Utah Saints earlier, this is the second dance anthem of the show that I didn’t mind at all. I think it was that huge, euphoric chorus or maybe even the key change at the finale. There seemed to be much more of a traditional song structure to it than some of the other dance tracks of the time. Here’s David Harry of the band on that very subject courtesy of @TOTPFacts:

OK, well the comparison between Oceanic and Nirvana slightly undermines the point but I think you get the gist.

What? You want to hear about my Oceanic story? Oh OK. Well, I was once at a freebie record company do (possibly the Ricky Ross album playback) whilst I was working for Our Price and I’d arrived at the venue before any of my colleagues. I’m not great at parties anyway so I found myself mooching around feeling lost. I spotted someone else who appeared to be experiencing the same thing so I decided maybe we could help each other out by striking up a conversation. The person who I started chatting to was *that lady from Oceanic! It turned out she was feeling exactly the same as me and was glad of someone to talk to. Eventually my colleagues and her friends turned up and our time together was over – cue lots of questions from my contingent about who I had been talking to and what did we say to each other. All I remember is that she was very nice and that I learned that her friends she was at the event with were in the middle of some legal action about the songwriting credits to Gina G’s hit “Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit”.

“Insanity” peaked at No 3 and was the best selling dance single of the year and the ninth best selling overall outselling nine No 1 records in the process. Let’s hope whoever wrote it got their just royalties.

*I should give the lady her proper name which is Jorinde Williams although to be fair to me they did call their album “That Album By Oceanic”.

Martika is back! Yes, she of “Toy Soldiers” fame back in 1989 had returned and with a credible song. How so? Well “Love… Thy Will Be Done” was written by Prince of course and much was made of that at the time I seem to remember. It didn’t strike me as an obvious collaboration I have to say but then if you think about it, he has worked with / written songs for loads of different people. There’s even a Prince family tree online which lists them all. Under the section People who recorded songs written or co-written by Prince you’ll find Martika along with Madonna, (Chaka, Chaka, Chaka) Chaka Khan, Sheena Easton, Sheila E, Paula Abdul, The Bangles, Celine Dion, Kenny Rogers and of course Sinead O’Connor. If he could write songs for Celine Dion then Martika wasn’t that big of a stretch! As for the song, I quite liked it – a much more mature sound (that’s the word all the music press used anyway). Bizarrely its drums and bass backing do not vary at all throughout the song in terms of bpm yet somehow it just works.

“Love… Thy Will Be Done” was from Martika’s second album “Martika’s Kitchen” which performed well in Europe but poorly in her native US. The title track would be issued as a single and was a return to the more poppier fare that I would have expected from her.

“Love… Thy Will Be Done” peaked at No 9 on the UK Top 40.

Yet another dance tune as we start the Breakers section with “Lift” / “Open Your Mind” by 808 State. Like previous singles “Cubik” / “Olympic” and “In Yer Face”, this was taken from the band’s third album “ex:el” but unlike those tracks which both went Top 10, the spreadsheet formulas for chart success didn’t work for “Lift” / “Open Your Mind” and it stalled at No 38. I didn’t mind this but to my untrained ear were they all starting to sound a bit the same? Maybe it didn’t matter if you were on the dance floor with chemical substances coursing through you which I wasn’t at this time.

What?! Tin Machine?! F*****g Tin Machine are on TOTP?! In my mind, Bowie’s much maligned super group project had disappeared after their first album in 1989 but having checked out their discography on Wikipedia, I do remember the cover of the second album (“Tin Machine II”) from working in Our Price. I don’t recall this track (“You Belong In Rock n’ Roll”) though. Apparently it was released in a blaze of publicity (it clearly had no effect on me) but it struggled to a chart high of just No 33. Even that paltry chart placing for the musical legend that Bowie is/was turned out to be Tin Machine’s biggest hit. The band had to change labels from EMI to Victory Music to even get that second album released as the lack of hit singles on their debut album had freaked EMI out and they got cold feet about the whole project.

Apparently there’s a studio performance in the next TOTP repeat that involves a chocolate eclair but I’ll keep my powder dry on that one until next time….

Following “The Joker” by the Steve Miller Band and “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash into our charts comes the next vintage track to be reactivated for a Levi’s TV advert. “20th Century Boy” was originally a No 3 hit for T. Rex in 1973 but it was chosen to front the latest Lev’s ad campaign in 1991 and re-issued curiously as being by Marc Bolan and T.Rex.

The advert itself features a very young Brand Pitt and the single’s success in 1991 (it peaked at No 13) , just like The Clash, sparked the release of a T.Rex Best Of album called “The Ultimate Collection ” which, backed by a TV Ad campaign, went to No 4 in the album charts.

It’s a great song and as much as I had a weakness for them, is sooo much better than – “21st Century Boy” by Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

So it’s been a “healthy” chart Brookes advises us before we get to the No 1. Not sure what standards he’s applying to the nations’s pop choices there but it is still suffering from an extreme case of ‘Adamsitis’ as “(EverythingI Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams is still at the summit of the Top 40 for the seventh week running. OK, what can I dredge up about this song that hasn’t already been said so far. My own personal opinion of it? Sure…

Question: Is it a terrible song?

Me: No, but it has a deservedly terrible reputation. No song should be No 1 for 16 weeks.

Question: Ah, so you like it then?

Me: It’s not up there with his best material but I didn’t mind it on first hearing. After the 10th, 20th, 100th time, it lost its appeal certainly.

Question: Did you buy it?

Me: No. I never even considered it. It was so inescapable that even if I’d really liked it, there would have been no point – you heard it all the time anyway.

The play out video is “Mind” by The Farm. It seemed as though this lot’s time in the sun was coming to an end by this point. After the glory of two consecutive Top 10 singles in 1990, impetus had been lost and subsequent singles “Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” with Pete Wylie and “Don’t Let Me Down” failed to crack the Top 20.

Still, not to worry, they had lots of new tunes up their sleeve and “Mind” was the first of those being the lead single from second album “Love See No Colour”. Unfortunately that also failed the Top 20 test and also the Top 30 one as well when it stalled at No 31. In truth, it’s not a great song, lacking the groove of ..erm…”Groovy Train” and the hook of “All Together Now”‘s rousing chorus. It also had some seriously terrible lyrics:

Remember all the good times that we had
Remember those days they were never sad
All our hopes and all our dreams
All our crazy mixed up schemes

I’d have been embarrassed by those in 5th form.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Midge UreCold Cold HeartMouldy old fart more like – no
2The Prodigy CharlyNo
3ZoëSunshine On A Rainy DayLiked it, didn’t buy it
4Utah SaintsWhat Can You Do For MeSee 3 above
5Jason DonovanHappy TogetherHell no
6Karyn WhiteRomanticNah
7Oceanic InsanityNo but I didn’t tell Jorinde that
8Martika Love… Thy Will Be DoneNope
9808 StateLift / “Open Your MindGuess what? No
10Tin Machine You Belong In Rock n’ RollThis belonged in the bin – no
11Marc Bolan and T.Rex20th Century BoyNot the re-release but I have it on a Best Of CD
12Bryan Adams(EverythingI Do) I Do It For YouI think we’ve already established the answer to that question
13The FarmMindNegative

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000zwqz/top-of-the-pops-22081991

TOTP 18 APR 1991

Those generous TOTP producers have seen fit to cram 14 (FOURTEEN!) songs into this particular show which means lots of typing and putting my grey cells through their paces for old muggins here. They’ve shoe horned 5 Breakers in this week which is the reason for the high song count and having timed it, they are squeezed into just 1 minute and 21 seconds of screen time. That’s 16 seconds per song. What was the point of that?! OK, there weren’t too many places that you could watch a music video back in 1991 so was it a case of something was better than nothing? I’m not sure. There was The Chart Show which was a staple of Saturday morning TV by this point having moved from Channel 4 to ITV in 1989 so maybe they were trying to compete with that? There was also MTV Europe though how may of us had access to that back in the day? Whatever the reason, I hope for my sake that this was a one off and the TOTP producers showed some self control in the future.

Tonight’s host is Jakki Brambles and for some weird reason concerning how the brain stores totally irrelevant and throw away bits of info for years, there are some parts of this show that I can really remember mainly surrounding Jakki’s to camera bits. More of that later though as we start the show with James and “Sit Down”. The boys are at No 2 by now and still have designs on that No 1 spot. *SPOILER ALERT* However, the fact that they spent three weeks there and were unable to dislodge Chesney Hawkes must have rankled with not only the band but also their army of fans. Possibly music lovers in general saw it as a monstrous injustice. Possibly.

Anyway, they’re in the studio this week and look happy enough with life especially guitarist Larry Gott who laughs and smiles his way through the performance. After leaving the band in 1995, Gott took up studying Art and Design at Manchester Metropolitan University, specifically furniture design. Somebody I worked with at Our Price in Stockport was also on the course with him and said he didn’t talk much about James at all preferring to just be a student with the rest of the cohort. He graduated in 2000 and won awards for his ‘reaction recliner’ design including the Allemuir Award for Industry and the Blueprint Award for Creativity. Not to be outdone, my colleague at Our Price became a successful freelance graphic designer and photographer. “Outstanding” – as Kenny Thomas might have said.

So if it wasn’t James who would dethrone Chesney, who did do the deed? In an unlikely turn of events, the honour fell to Cher who, despite her last album “Heart Of Stone” being a Top 10 success in 1989, hadn’t had a UK No1 single for 26 years when she topped the charts with “I Got You Babe” as part of Sonny & Cher. The song that rectified this for her was a cover of “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” which had originally been a minor hit for Betty Everett in 1968. Cher’s version was taken from the soundtrack to her latest film project called Mermaids. This family comedy-drama which also stars Bob Hoskins, Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci is rarely shown on TV these days but, and I haven’t seen it since going to the cinema to catch it in 1991, is actually OK as I recall. A little too heavy on the quirkiness and I found Winona’s character a tad annoying but not bad.

The film’s soundtrack featuring original 60s tracks by the likes of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons and Smokey Robinson and The Miracles sold reasonably well off the back fo the success of “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” but I never realised until now that there was a second Cher track on the album called “Baby I’m Yours” (another cover) which had been released as its lead single but which did bugger all in the charts.

So why did the UK go mad for the second single? I really don’t know. Was the film a massive commercial success? According to IMDB, it was ranked the 20th top film in the UK for 1991 – not too shabby but hardly a phenomenon. “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” on the other hand was the third best selling single of the year in 1991 behind only 16 weeks at No 1 “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” by Bryan Adams and Xmas No 1 “Bohemian Rhapsody”/”These Are the Days of Our Lives” by Queen. Sadly, my purchase of it added to its popularity. Now just hold on before you all pile on. The whole thing was a mistake. Firstly, I bought it for my wife and not me. Secondly, she didn’t even want it either as I had purchased the wrong thing entirely in Cher. She had wanted a completely different single that features in next week’s TOTP. Quite how I managed to make such a mistake, I have no idea. The fact that back in 1989 I had bought another Cher single (“If I Could Turn Back Time”) had nothing to do with the whole sorry escapade at all and that is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God!

Whoah! OMD? In the charts in 1991? Yes, it was true. One of the most surprising comebacks of the year (maybe even the decade) was the return of OMD but they weren’t the same beast we had last seen in the Top 40 way back in 1986 with “(Forever) Live And Die”. No, for one, founding member Paul Humphreys had done a runner and left the band! How so? Well, after reaching a commercial peak around the middle of the 80s with the huge US hit “If You Leave” from the Pretty In Pink soundtrack, things had started to unravel. Their next album “The Pacific Age” had been recorded under duress and the results were patchy. The aforementioned “(Forever) Live And Die” had been a sizeable hit but it was the only one from the album which received mixed critical reviews.

Suffering from a creative drought, a Best Of album was released in 1988 which was a huge success going three time platinum but the band were clearly trading on former glories. By 1989, Humphreys (along with two other band members ) had had enough and left to form footnote-in-electronic-music-history band The Listening Pool whilst Andy McCluskey committed to carry on under the OMD name.

“Sailing on the Seven Seas” was the first post Humphreys single and a curious thing it was too. Listening to it now, it seems quite pedestrian though I don’t recall thinking that at the time. That almost shuffling glam rock back beat allied with McCluskey’s plaintive vocals and a decidedly weird Jean Michel Jarre style keyboard solo in the middle and yet the UK record buying public lapped it up. The single would rise all the way to No 3, OMD’s highest charting hit since “Souvenir” some 10 years earlier. I don’t think either McCluskey or record label Virgin really expected that sort of success if they were being honest.

Things would get even better though as “Sailing on the Seven Seas” paved the way for the successful launch of parent album “Sugar Tax” which would go platinum in the UK and spawn a further Top 10 single in “Pandora’s Box”. Remarkable stuff really. OMD were back and how!

Seriously?! Still with Black Box?! That ship hasn’t sailed, struck an iceberg and sunk yet?! This must surely be their last TOTP appearance (please!)? Anyway, they’re here once more with “Strike It Up” and…hang on…did Jakki Brambles say “Will you welcome Black Box featuring Steps”?! Steps?! As in Steps that did “Tragedy”? As in ‘H’ from Steps? Relax, it will be a few years before that lot appear in these TOTP repeats. No, this was Stepz (with a ‘z’ see?) who was the rapper dude on the track. And who was he? Well, as far as I can ascertain, he also went by the names Stepsi and Stepski but his real name was Lee Bennett Thompson and he also worked with Quartz who did that Carole King cover with Dina Carroll. Yeah, I don’t care either. Next!

After the Levis-inspired success of “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, it was inevitable that a follow up single was released by The Clash and what more obvious candidate could there be than “Rock the Casbah“. Similarly pulled from their “Combat Rock” album, it made complete sense even though it had already been a No 30 hit in the UK 9 years previously. I certainly remember it being in the charts back in 1982 but curiously have little memory of it being an even bigger it (No 14) in the charts in 1991.

The video prompted some controversy featuring as it does a Muslim hitchhiker and a Hasidic Jew befriending each other on the road on the way to a Clash gig which, according to director Don Letts, was all “about breaking taboos”. At one point they are seen eating hamburgers in front of a Burger King restaurant whilst later on the Muslim character is seen drinking a beer. Although the track was initiated by the band’s drummer Topper Headon, that isn’t him in the video as he had been sacked for continuous drug abuse by then. That’s actually original drummer Terry Chimes on the drums that we see on screen.

Despite the recent Gulf War BBC black list, the track was chosen by Armed Forces Radio to be the first song broadcast on the service covering the area during Operation Desert Storm and to Joe Strummer’s horror, the phrase “Rock the Casbah” was written on an American bomb that was to be detonated on Iraq during the the conflict. Commercially, it was the biggest US hit that the band ever had and, alongside “Should I Stay or Should I Go”, is predominantly what The Clash are known for ever the pond in some quarters and let’s be fair, it is a f*****g tune!

It’s The Mock Turtles again with “Can You Dig It?”! Excellent! The last time they featured in this blog I rambled on and on about how they had done an instore PA at the Our Price where I was working in Manchester and that I had got on the guest list for their gig that night at The Manchester Academy and about their connection to Jude Law. This week I have dredged up my signed copy of their “Two Sides” album from that PA. I didn’t queue up to have it signed I should add. Rather it was a left over copy after they had finished and I recall having a long discussion with the Assistant Manger about how it should be treated as a promo as it was part of a promotion event. I seemed to put a lot of stock in the fact that it was signed I think rather than if it had cost the shop any money to get it in which surely was the deciding factor when it came to its promo status. For the life of me I can’t recall if it was supplied by the record company FOC or if the shop was charged fo it but the AM won and I had to cough up the readies to buy it. It’s a pretty good album with some lovely pop tunes on it but it does have an awful cover, signatures or no.

“Can You Dig It?” was a hit all over again in 2003 when it was used in that Vodafone advert featuring David Beckham who was still in his Hoxton Fin hairstyle period back then…

…but for me, they will always be a part of my 1991.

“Can You Dig It?” peaked at No 18 on its initial release and at No 19 in 2003.

It’s those pesky, high speed Breakers next, four of which were never shown on the show in full. Five write ups for me then all for the sake of 1 min and 21 seconds worth of videos. Cheers TOTP producers! We start with “My Head’s In Mississippi” by ZZ Top which I have zero recollection of. It only got to No 37 in the charts so I could be forgiven I guess. It sounds a bit like the band doing their best Johnny Cash impression from the 16 seconds we got to hear of it on TOTP – I couldn’t be bothered to root out the track in full to be honest. It was taken from an album called “Recycler” which I don’t remember either though it did have the track “Doubleback” included on it from Back to the Future Part III apparently.

ZZ Top would return the following year with a cover of the Elvis track “Viva Las Vegas” to promote a Greatest Hits album which was much more fun.

Nope, don’t remember this either. “Seal Our Fate” by Gloria Estefan was the second of four singles taken from her “Into The Light” album all of which made the UK Top 40 but none of which made the Top 20. Make of that what you will. If we saw ZZ top channelling their inner Johnny Cash before, this was like Gloria being Britney Spears some 7 years before Britney was Britney. Apparently the video was well received by her fans as if Gloria could do its choreography routine then this was proof that she had made a full recovery from her injuries sustained in a coach crash in March of 1990.

Next on the Generation Game style conveyor belt of Breakers is Silver Bullet with “Undercover Anarchist” which was the follow up to “20 Seconds To Comply”. Again I don’t remember this one at all but then that’s hardly surprising as the TOTP graphics team seemed to have forgotten what the single was called whilst it was still in the charts as their caption reads “Under Anarchist”.

It doesn’t really matter as if I’d wanted to listen to a track with the word ‘anarchist’ in the title then I would have gone for this by one Hull’s finest…

There was a definite hint of 80s chart acts making a comeback in this particular TOTP. After OMD earlier in the show here were Transvision Vamp who had been AWOL for the whole of 1990 after their last chart appearance with “Born To Be Sold ” at the end of 1989. They hadn’t been idle though as they had been recording their third album, the ludicrously entitled “Little Magnets Versus The Bubble Of Babble” and inevitably they wanted to move away from the bubble gum glam pop that had brought them fame and fortune with tunes like “I Want Your Love” and “Baby I Don’t Care”. However, record label MCA weren’t that keen on the idea of the band maturing and refused to release the album in the UK. Instead, it was given a limited world wide release with copies only available in Australia, New Zealand and Sweden. The idea was to see how it did in those territories before a UK released was sanctioned. This lead to many an import copy of the album finding its way into UK record stores. We certainly had one in the Our Price I was working in and we had a Wendy James devotee who would come in week after week to see if the UK release was out yet. I can’t recall if he was tempted by the £20 import CD that we had in stock but if he didn’t buy it then nobody would have.

The lead single from the album was “(I Just Wanna) B with U” and it was the first track that Wendy received an official co-writing credit for. Was it any good though? Well, I was underwhelmed and I’d liked a lot of the band’s previous singles. I wasn’t the only one unimpressed as it struggled to a high of No 30, the band’s last ever UK chart hit. Follow up single “If Looks Could Kill” missed the Top 40 by one place and that was that. By the time that MCA had authorised an UK release for the album, the band had split anyway. Even now, the album is not available on Spotify although its singles are on a Best Of album which can be streamed. Was it the new material that let them down or were the band just an anachronism in the new decade? Who knows but they did burn brightly during their time in the sun.

Talking of 80s pop stars making a 90s comeback, here’s Pete Wylie and he’s joined forces with fellow scousers The Farm to do a re-working of “Sinful”. Yes, despite being completely wonderful, this was the first time Pete had been in the Top 40 since “Sinful” had been a No 13 hit back in 1986. His lack of chart success really is a crime against music.

I’m not totally secure in my knowledge of the circumstances around this release. The Farm were at their commercial peak having secured two Top 10 singles in 1990 with “Groovy Train” and “Altogether Now” from their No 1 album “Spartacus” which was released in the spring of 1991. However, their commercial fall was imminent. They released a third single from the album the Monday after this TOTP aired but “Don’t Let Me Down” peaked at a disappointing No 36. This re-working of Sinful retitled “Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” was a non-album single but presumably it was a live favourite as showcased by the video here.

Later in the year, Wylie would release the criminally ignored album “Infamy! Or How I Didn’t Get Where I Am Today” whilst The Farm would release an album called “Love See No Colour” in 1992 which would fail to chart making them, along with the aforementioned Transvision Vamp and purveyors of blue eyed soul Johnny Hates Jazz as acts that followed up a No 1 album with an LP that failed to chart.

A terrible accident would befall Pete later in the year when he suffered a near fatal fall when a railing gave way in Upper Parliament Street, Liverpool causing him to fracture his spine and his sternum. The legend goes that when the ambulance crew turned up and did their usual checks including to ask what the injured party’s name was, Pete replied ‘You should f*****g know who I am!”. I love Pete Wylie!

“Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)” peaked at No 28.

Next a song that was… well…just bizarre and yet it just worked. Despite no longer being the chart topper he was in the 80s, Paul Young was doing a decent job of keeping his career going into the new decade with a couple of Top 40 hits in 1990 from his “Other Voices”. By the time 1991 came around though, he had also had a couple of flops. So what do you do when your career needs a lift? Release a Best Of album of course! “From Time to Time – The Singles Collection” was a huge success going to No 1 and three time platinum in the UK off the back of an extensive TV ad campaign.

The album included three new tracks that were in fact cover versions that all ended up being released as singles. “Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)” was the first of those and was actually a duet with some geezer called Zucchero. I’d never heard of him before at the time but, as Jakki Brambles says in her intro, he was a very big deal indeed in his native Italy. “Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)” was actually his song and he had released it himself back in 1987. When Paul Young heard it whilst on holiday there, he approached the Z man about covering it but the reply came back ‘why don’t we do it as a duet?’. And so it came to pass that Paul Young would have his biggest hit since “Every Time You Go Away” back in 1985 stood next to a bloke who, according to the reaction on Twitter when this TOTP was re-shown the other week, looked very much like Keith Lemon. They have a point.

I think it’s the lyrics which make this record so curiously memorable. Certainly some of the lines have stayed with myself and my wife all these years. For example, ‘Look at me, I’m a flower’ and ‘You got to dig a little deeper lady’ stand out – maybe they didn’t translate too well from Italian to English. It’s the ‘even doing my own cooking’ line though that steals it. At the time, I wasn’t the most handy in the kitchen and so anything that I did produce would be met with a retort of ‘even doing my own cooking’ by my wife. I have got a lot better now! Zucchero’s inspiration for the line came from his own culinary trials…

OK, just to clarify, I wasn’t that bad that I couldn’t have cooked some pasta nor was I in the process fo getting divorced!

It’s the first of Jakki’s lines that have stuck with me now as she says at the song’s end “Senza Una Donna which means Without A Woman – bare faced liars the pair of them”. Well, I’d have to say that Paul looks pretty cool with a sharp haircut but Zucchero? I can’t unsee Keith Lemon now.

Another Jakki Brambles line that for some reason has stuck in my brain these last 30 years next as she introduces Chesney Hawkes who is at No 1 for the 4th week with “The One And Only”. After starting off her intro with “What else can we say about our next man…” and listing all his ‘achievements’ which include having “a bit of a famous Dad” – Whoah! Stop right there! A bit of a famous Dad?! Len “Chip” Hawkes was the bassist in The Tremeloes it’s true but was he really that famous? It’s also true that Decca famously chose The Tremeloes over The Beatles for a recording contract back in 1962 so the band do have a place in pop music history but Hawkes wasn’t anything to do with it as he didn’t join the band until 4 years later. And yes, he did co-write some of their Top 10 hits but would anyone have really recognised him walking down the street back in 1991? Was he doing lots of TV appearances as some sort of talking head aficionado on pop music Paul Gambaccini style? I don’t think so. I suppose Jakki did say “a bit of a famous Dad” as opposed to “celebrity royalty” but even so.

Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent there. Anyway, finally Brambles gets to her killer line as she says “All that remains for me to say is Chesney Hawkes…GET YOUR HAIRCUT!” She had a point. Chesney’s Barnet was a disgrace. He’d clearly grown it out since appearing in Buddy’s Song and it now resembled a bob. Thankfully, he no longer has said style now that he is nearly 50.

The play out video and the final of 14 songs on the show tonight is “Deep, Deep Trouble” by The Simpsons. When I was a small child, my Dad had the “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” single by Benny Hill. I thought it was funny at the time as I had an undeveloped sense of humour. My Dad thought it was funny because…I’m not sure why…I think it must have been the ridiculousness of the tale that Hill’s distinctive voice imparted. As I grew older (and so did my Dad), that record never got played again in our house because it was a novelty record and novelty records don’t age at all well. Suffice to say, “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)” was a timeless classic compared to “Deep, Deep Trouble” which has rightly been consigned to the dustbin of popular culture.

For the sake of posterity, I include the chart run down below:

Order of Appearance ArtistTitleDid I Buy It?
1JamesSit DownNo but I have it on their Best Of album
2Cher The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)Yes but it was an honest mistake!
3OMDSailing On The Seven SeasNo but I have it on their Best Of album
4Black BoxStrike It UpNope
5The ClashRock The CasbahNo but I must have it on something
6The Mock TurtlesCan You Dig It?Not the single but I bought the album (signed!)
7ZZ TopMy Head’s In MississippiNo
8Gloria EstefanSeal Our FateNegative
9Silver BulletUndercover AnarchistI did not
10Tranvision Vamp“(I Just Wanna) B with U”No but I have it on their Best Of album
11Pete Wylie / The Farm Sinful! (Scary Jiggin’ with Doctor Love)I bought the original in 1986 but not this version
12Paul Young / Zucchero“Senza Una Donna (Without A Woman)”No but I have it on Paul’s Best Of album
13Chesney Hawkes The One And OnlyNah
14The SimpsonsDeep, Deep TroubleHell no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000xp0k/top-of-the-pops-18041991

TOTP 06 DEC 1990

We’ve finally hit December 1990 here at TOTP Rewind and that can only mean one thing, the Xmas rush is on and I don’t just mean that scramble to find presents for family and friends – there is also the race for the Xmas No 1 to consider. This was definitely still a thing back then before it was hijacked and devalued by X Factor winners and latterly some bloke going on about sausage rolls every Yuletide. As such, the Top 40 is awash with new songs frantically looking for those all important sales that could make them a festive chart topper. As host Mark Goodier says at the top of the show “Tonight we may well see the song which is the Xmas No 1 so stay tuned”. Eyes down then (or should that be prick up your ears) as we find out who’s in the running…

…well surely not this lot?! Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain Hollywood had been Top 10 in our charts with their single “I Can’t Stand It” just a couple of months prior to this but their chances of being the Xmas No 1 with a song that was just some more Eurodance pap were slim to non existent. The performance of their single “Are You Dreaming” here is….excruciating frankly.

The three lads in the group bounce on stage and start jive talking about dreams of cars, money and girls until one of them adopts the moral high ground when he interjects with “Yo wait a minute man, you better think about the world”. WTF?! What’s that supposed to mean? The world is a pretty big subject really don’t you think? Care to narrow it down a bit? Are we talking the environment here? Or politics? World peace maybe? What?! The whole thing reminds me of this image on Twitter that went viral a few years ago…

The rest of the song seems to be a jumble of influences and steals. The ‘oaah oh oh oh’ chant in the chorus is very similar to “Montego Bay” by Bobby Bloom (and later covered by Amazulu) whilst the lyrics seem to have stolen from Kajagoogoo (‘Eye to eye from you to me …eye to eye from me to you”) and there is a zeitgeist moment when an obligatory Vanilla Ice theme emerges (“(yeah) dreams can be very nice (yeah) Sometimes hot sometimes ice cold (yeah)”). Just pants. Get off! 

“Are You Dreaming” peaked at No 17  – miles away from the Xmas No 1 title. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c212wkz9ixk

Now this next song had a better chance of…ahem…pulling off a Xmas No 1 as it were (Fnarr! Fnarr!) although it would have been a controversial one. In its favour, it was by a genuine pop music heavyweight, a superstar of the genre in Madonna. Against its chances were its sexually provocative sound and lyrics. “Justify My Love” was one of two new songs released from Madge’s first ever Greatest Hits album “The Immaculate Collection” (the other was “Rescue Me” which I mentioned in the post for the previous  week’s TOTP). Written with Lenny Kravitz and Ingrid Chavez, the lyrics didn’t hold back and Madonna’s almost total delivery of them as a spoken word whisper created an almost threatening vibe to the song:

I want to run naked in a rainstorm
Make love in a train cross-country
You put this in me
So now what, so now what?

I don’t want to be your mother
I don’t want to be your sister either
I just want to be your lover
I want to be your baby
Kiss me, that’s right, kiss me

OK, OK steady on. We haven’t even got to the video yet! Ah yes, that video. Clearly the promo film that TOTP uses was not the official video for the single which was deemed far to explicit for pre-watershed broadcast so instead we got a compilation of scenes from her previous hits. To be fair, there did seem to be some attempt to co-ordinate the scenes chosen with the music (Madonna cavorting about in the waves from “Cherish” for example) but it was nothing compared to the banned video. Shot entirely in black and white, it had a European, art house feel to it and included imagery of sadomasochism, voyeurism and bisexuality alongside some actual (albeit brief) nudity, all designed to push back the barriers of what a pop promo could /should be. All very deliberate and yet designed to be defensible as well as controversial  – Madonna would argue that all the women characters in her videos are sexually in control. 

The film would be released as a stand alone video single (imagine that all you kids brought up on YouTube with instant access to anything ever recorded) and would sell over one million copies world wide. I certainly recall the Our Price I was working in stocking it and it being quite a big deal as it had an 18 certificate.

In a 1991 interview with Q magazine, Lenny Kravitz had this to say about “Justify My Love” and working with Madonna:

“I think it’s a classic of its type, like an old Donna Summer song. And I like Madonna a lot. She’s the best; the queen of what she does. She’s very articulate, elegant, and she has taste up the ass. It’s unbelievable.”

‘Taste up the ass’?! Oh give it a rest Lenny! 

“Justify My Love” would peak at No 2 – close but no cigar Madge. 

Oh this is just a great song and one that will always remind me of this time of my life. The Farm were already bona fide chart stars by this time courtesy of their previous Top 10 single “Groovy Train” but “All Together Now” completely sealed the deal. But this was more than just a chart hit, more than just a catchy pop song. Written about the unofficial truce in 1914 during WWI when British and German troops came out of the trenches to play football with each other for Christmas, it also combines a piece of classical music in its structure via its use of ‘Pachelbel’s Canon’ by the German Baroque composer Johann Pachelbel. Once I realised this, Pachelbel would be my go to classical artist for those specialist music mornings that Our Price insisted upon during the week when I was first working there.

Going back to the lyrical subject matter, we were all now familiar with the truce story thanks to Paul McCartney’s “Pipes Of Peace” single but The Farm had actually beaten him to it in terms of writing a song about it when they recorded a very different version of the song (called “No Man’s Land”) for a Peel session back in 1983.

Fast forward 7 years and with Suggs of Madness as their producer, they returned to that Peel session track and turned it into “All Together Now”. It even had the brilliant fellow scouser Pete Wylie on backing vocals. What’s not to like?! 

The song is very closely associated with football having been co-opted by many a team (including Everton FC) and to promote both the Euro 2004 and 2006 World Cup tournaments. Beyond that though, it has soundtracked charity work like Operation Shoebox which sends gifts in shoeboxes to soldiers serving in Afghanistan. When lead singer Peter Hooton returned to his former school in Bootle, Merseyside in later life, the children there sang his song and read out WWI poetry. Like I said, more than just a pop song. 

At one point, it looked like “All Together Now” with its unity and anti-war themes might have a genuine tilt at being the Xmas No 1 but would eventually run out of steam peaking at No 4. Perhaps the ultimate Xmas No 1 that never was? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6q7RekP-mI

One of the biggest break out stars of the year next. Did MC Hammer have a serious shot at the Xmas No 1 spot? “Pray” was the third single to be lifted from his “Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” album and after pinching from Rick James for “U Can’t Touch This” and the Chi-Lites for “Have You Seen Her”, this time Hammer picks the pocket of Prince for a prominent sample of “When Doves Cry”. I say pickpockets but Prince did actually authorise the use of the sample, the first in fact of just a handful that he would allow. 

This was very much in the mould of “U Can’t Touch This” but I found it all a bit dull and repetitive. Repetitive? Yes, check out this piece of trivia I found on Wikipedia:

The word ‘pray’ is mentioned 147 times during the song, setting the record for the number of times a song title is repeated in an American Top 40 hit.

I wasn’t alone in my thinking. Reviewed in Smash Hits by no less a musical authority than Timmy Mallett, the annoying little git described it as ‘awful’ and a ‘messy noise’. Of course he couldn’t resist the open goal that was MC Hammer’s name:

“I think he’s got a great name though. MC Mallett would be even better than MC Hammer but I’m MC Mallett”. 

Timmy Mallett there, the dickhead’s dickhead. 

“Pray” was never a serious Xmas No 1 contender peaking just inside the Top 10 at No 8 although it was a No 2 record in the US. 

And just like that the game was up. After correctly predicting that The Farm would have a Top 5 hit with “All Together Now” earlier, Mark Goodier amazingly managed to be right twice in the space of a few minutes as *spoiler alert* we do get to hear the Xmas No 1 for 1990 on this very show. Of course, it had to be Cliff Richard didn’t it? This was peak Cliff wins Xmas time. After securing the festive chart topper just two years before with “Mistletoe And Wine”, here he was again with another mawkish, horrible effort in “Saviour’s Day”. In some ways it was a hat trick of Xmas No 1s as he’s appeared on the Band Aid II record in 1989. If pressed, I would have to say it was marginally less annoying than “Mistletoe And Wine” but again, it would be a case of splitting arse hairs. 

He’s, of course, backed a by a choir of extras including that bloke from Modern Romance (again) and can’t resist doing that weird arm waving thing he always does. The gaelic whistle bit (which sounds like an attempt to mimic Simple Minds take on Irish folk song “She Moved Through the Fair” when they released “Belfast Child”) prompts Cliff to stand next to the whistle player and attempt to ‘play’ his microphone in the same way. Oh God, my eyes hurt. Also, what is he wearing? That silver jacket makes him resemble that Honey G woman who tried to convince us (and herself) that she was a rapper on X Factor a few years ago. This is just all kinds of wrong. 

In the run up to the Xmas chart, a TV news crew (Granada?) visited our shop to talk to the people on the front line selling the records about who we thought would be the Xmas No 1. They interviewed the singles buyer who was Andy (another Our Price legend) who loved all the attention. He once just about pushed me out of the way to get to serve actress Barbara Knox who played Rita Fairclough in Coronation Street so he wasn’t going to miss out on this opportunity! Andy correctly predicted that Cliff would be the Xmas No 1 on account of the sales he would generate from appearing on The Des O’Connor Show. I so wish I could find the interview on line but despite extensive searching, I have turned up a blank. 

TOTP were still sticking with the Top 5 albums feature that they had started in the Summer and so here are the best selling albums for November 1990:

  1. Elton John – “The Very Best Of Elton John”

2. Phil Collins – “Serious Hits …Live!”

3. The Beautiful South – “Choke”

4. Paul Simon  – “The Rhythm Of The Saints”

5. Madonna – “The Immaculate Collection” 

A couple of things to note here. Madonna’s “The Immaculate Collection” was already starting to show its huge sales potential and sure enough, it would end up being the best selling album of the whole year in the UK despite having only been released on Nov 9th.

Secondly, can anyone make sense of Mark Goodier’s comment here?

“No 1 artist album in November, Elton John The Very Best Of Elton John …a sort of greatest hits collection” 

Yes, thanks Mark. An album called ‘The Very Best Of…’ really didn’t require the qualifying statement ‘a sort of greatest hits collection’!!

RIght, where are we up to with the Snap! single release schedule of 1990? One of the most dominant charts acts of the year were onto their fourth hit with the release of “Mary Had A Little Boy”. This was the last single to be lifted from their “World Power” album and was based around the ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ nursery rhyme but now I’m wondering if this track was specifically chosen as Xmas approached with one eye on a “Mary’s Boy Child” Boney M vibe. Maybe not. 

This didn’t do anything for me and after a Megamix single early the next year had been and gone, I would have bet money that would have been the last we would have seen of Snap! but I hadn’t reckoned on rhythm being a dancer two years later. 

Much like MC Hammer earlier, their run of Top 10 singles was maintained when “Mary Had A Little Boy” made it to No 8 but it was never going to seriously trouble Cliff. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9e43sm1xMA

Right, if it’s 1990 then there must be a New Kids On The Block record in the charts and indeed there is. “This One’s For The Children” was their eighth (!) Top 10 hit of the year and was clearly aimed at the Xmas market being a track from their “Merry, Merry Christmas” album and all. It is also possibly the most saccharine, schmaltzy dollop of shite it has ever been my misfortune to hear. It’s as if “We Are The World”(hardly a lyrical masterpiece itself) had been re-written by a six year old. Look at these lyrics:

There are some people living in this world
They have no food to eat, they have no place to go

or these…

Many people are happy and many people are sad
Some people have many things that others can only wish they had

For the love of God! Actually, God does get a name check later:

This one’s for the children
May God keep them in His throne

Just unbearable. 

They must have thought they had a genuine chance of being the Xmas No 1 with this but even Cliff would have baulked at this sentimental crap. “This One’s For The Children” peaked at No 9 and would see out not just 1990 but also T’KNOB’s imperial phase. They would never be as popular again. Phew!

After Goodier does a spoonerism in his Top 10 countdown when he says “Kinky Boots” is up 5 at No 9 (it’s the other way round Mark, up 9 at No 5), we get to Vanilla Ice who is not only still at No 1 but also “rapping totally live” in the studio! Would this have been a big deal back in the day? I think it might have been you know. Ice does a good job of performing “Ice Ice Baby” as well alongside his trio of backing dancers plus a DJ. Pretty nifty moves and rhymes. Right, I can’t be seen to be endorsing Vanilla Ice so to even it up, here is his atrocious rhyming message for all the readers of Smash Hits back then :

“Yo, this is Vanilla Ice, Just chillin’ like Bob Dylan, And maxin’ like Michael Jackson on Smash Hits Baby!”

Oof! 

Still, Vanilla Ice looked a good bet for staying at No 1 until Xmas and he would prove to be Cliff’s stiffest competition. The race for that coveted spot would go right to the wire. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptTkBtpUfbw

The play out video is “24 Hours” by Betty Boo and is surely the least remembered of her trio of hit singles in 1990. Nowhere near as good as either “Doin’ The Do” or “Where Are You Baby” it would stall at No 25. Betty’s profile didn’t take an immediate nose dive though as she was voted that year’s best British Breakthrough Act at the 1991 BRIT Awards. However, a lip-synching scandal whilst on tour in Australia combined with caring for her mother when she was diagnosed with cancer meant a pause would have to be inserted into her pop career, a pause from which she would never really recover as a recording artist. 

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtinnFnd_Kk

Order of appearance

Artist

Song

Did I Buy it?

1

Twenty Four Seven featuring Captain Hollywood

Are You Dreaming

Not dreaming, having a nightmare more like – no

2

Madonna

Justify My Love

No but I have that Immaculate Collection CD it’s included on

3

The Farm

All Together Now

I was sure I had but the singles box says no

4

MC Hammer

Pray

Nah

5

Cliff Richard

Saviour’s Day

Hell no!

6

Snap!

Mary Had A Little Boy

Nope

7

New Kids On The Block

This One’s For The Children

See 5 above

8

Vanilla Ice

Ice Ice baby

No No baby

9

Betty Boo

24 Hours

No

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000ty1q/top-of-the-pops-06121990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

 

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TOTP 20 SEP 1990

We’re pushing on through 1990 now and find ourselves entering the final third of September. The year has brought us a dramatic World Cup, a Summer heatwave and a seemingly endless conveyor belt of awful, awful records in the Top 40…but all of those things would pale into insignificance for me as I was exactly one month away from getting married! Yes, my girlfriend and I had been reunited over the Summer when I secured some temporary employment in her hometown of Hull and now we had decided that we weren’t going to be separated again. We were only 22 by this point and none of our friends and peers had got married or were even talking about such a happening that I was aware of but we were determined and confident in each other and our relationship.

We had decided we would move to Manchester. We had very little connection to the city other than we both knew one person each who lived there. To this end, I had applied for jobs in record shops there to have some employment set up for our arrival. Why record shops? I loved music and thought that I would be working in a field that engaged me. I also figured that somehow it would be a springboard into some sort of career in the music business, that I would be headhunted to some record company position and end up running a record label or some such other fantasy. In my defence of this folly, I was very young, just starting out in life and I didn’t have a f*****g clue! The first record shop that I heard back from was the Our Price chain and they invited me to interview for a temporary Xmas sales assistant position. So it came to pass that in this very week of September 1990, I travelled over to Manchester and rocked up at the offices above the Manchester Piccadilly store where I was interviewed by a very pleasant guy (whose name I forget), sat a music quiz and was told that I would be a suitable person to work for Our Price. I remember him asking me if I though the money they were paying was enough (£100 a week as I recall) and I said absolutely! I wasn’t going to talk myself out of the opportunity before I’d even begun. Success!

My other brief whilst I was over in Manchester was to try and find some accommodation for us to live in once we’d moved across the Pennines. On this point I was less successful and I returned to Hull with nothing in place on that subject. Still, one out of two wasn’t bad. I had a start date for late October agreed and had familiarised myself with Manchester a little at least whilst I was staying with one of the two people we knew there for a couple of days. I recall travelling back to her flat on the bus on the Saturday afternoon and wondering how my beloved Chelsea had got on that day. This was before the days of mobile phones, live score apps and the rest. I was unsure about outing myself as a Chelsea fan on public transport in the centre of Manchester but fortunately they had been playing Man City that afternoon so I simply asked somebody on the bus who had a pink ‘un (remember them) sports paper the City result*. Bingo! I was already getting used to this living in Manchester lark!

*It was a 1-1 draw by the way.

As a consequence of all this grown up stuff, I had taken my eye off the ball as to the pop charts and am pretty sure I didn’t even watch this particular TOTP. Let’s see what I missed….

….we start with one of those awful, awful records I referred to earlier. Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain Hollywood were one of those Eurodance outfits that we’d seen so much of in this year like 49ers and Bizz Nizz. The Captain himself was a guy called Tony Dawson-Harrison who earned his nickname when stationed with the US Army in Germany. Hang on! Wasn’t that the same back story as Turbo B from Snap!?

*checks Wikipedia*

Yes, it was! And didn’t Sydney Youngblood of “If Only I Could” fame follow the same route to chart glory?

*checks Wikipedia again*

Yes! What the hell was the deal with American army soldiers based in Germany becoming pop stars in the early 90s?! Anyway, he was joined by vocalist Nancy “Nance” Coolen (not hard to work out where her nickname came from) and a couple of dancers and hey presto! A massive hit called “I Can’t Stand It”. After that single hit big, Captain Hollywood left to pursue a solo career (he had a couple of minor hit singles in the UK in the mid 90s but was a much bigger deal in the rest of Europe) and was replaced by Stacey “Stay-C” Seedorf (they really needed to work on those nicknames a bit more!). From that point on it became a carousel of band members and line up that would put The Fall to shame (well, The Sugababes at least). Apparently they are still a going concern to this day. As for me, I couldn’t stand “I Can’t Stand It” which peaked at No 7 over here.

Wait a minute! What’s going on here? The Stone Roses in the charts with “Fools Gold”? Again? It had already spent 14 weeks in the Top 100 between Nov 1989 and Feb 1990 – why was it re-released so quickly afterwards? Well, after the band’s commercial breakthrough in 1989 with “Made Of Stone”, “She Bangs The Drums” and of course “Fools Gold”, there was a rush to get more of their product out into the marketplace, not all of it with the endorsement of the band. Early single “Sally Cinnamon” on their ex-label Revolver came out again with a video that the band hated. They tried to stop the release and when they couldn’t, it led to the legendary office trashing incident when the band, on route to the recording studio, stopped by the FM Revolver headquarters and trashed the offices by hurling paint all over them and former manager Paul Birch. The inevitable court case followed with the band fined £3,600 each.

After “Elephant Stone” was also released from their iconic debut album came the much heralded single “One Love”. Tipped to be No 1, the band’s mythical aura had slipped after the debacle of the Spike Island concert and it stalled at No 4, unable to dislodge Elton John or indeed get the better of Craig McClachlan! Given its relative failure, was “Fools Gold” re-issued to remind us of their former glories? Its original release had seen it double A-sided with “What The World Is Waiting For” but was it just a standard A -side this time? Or was it just the original release propelled back into the charts by demand? I’m not sure. he waters are muddied further by the fact that it has been re-released at least a further two times since. I’m pretty sure that the debut album was re-released with “Fools Gold” included as an extra track at some point in the early 90s as well.

The 1990 release made it to No 22 in the charts whilst the 1989 original release made it all the way to No 8. I have to say it’s not my favourite Stone Roses tune by some distance, whilst Ian Brown seems to be making quite the fool himself these days without any recourse to gold.

I had to jinx it by mentioning Snap! before didn’t I? Here’s Turbo B and co with their third hit of 1990 “Cult Of Snap”. After “The Power” and “Ooops Up”, this one at least had a differential to it in the form of the African sounding drumbeats and chanting. Indeed, it proved to be popular in that territory as it peaked at No 2 in Zimbabwe. When this TOTP repeat aired, a few social media commentators said that it reminded them of that “In Zaire” song by Johnny Wakelin which I just about remember from my childhood. Let’s see if they had a point then…

…ooh yeah, maybe. Anyway, back to “Cult Of Snap” and I found this one a little less irritating than their previous efforts (maybe it was Johnny Wakelin subconsciously drawing me in from the 70s). It turns out though that Snap! didn’t have the very first release of this track. Here’s @TOTPFacts:

The ever generous Turbo B (who had already been involved in a homophobic instigated nightclub incident by this point) declared of Hi Power’s version in a Smash Hits interview:

“These people, they’re ridiculous. If he was a good rapper, it would be OK but he was a shit rapper, he has no timing. “

What a pleasant man! It’s a bit rich anyway given that “The Power” included the unauthorised sampling of vocals by Jocelyn Brown which led her to commence legal action. The legally complex world of sampling eh?

“Cult Of Snap” peaked at No 8 in the UK.

One of the constants of this blog throughout the 80s and now the 90s has been the persistent existence of hard rock acts within the UK Top 40 whatever the current musical milieu dictated. House music? Not a problem? Overblown ballads from film soundtracks? Out of our way, we’re coming through! Boys bands and teeny bop idols? We give zero f***s! We’re here to play loud rock music and nobody will stop us! The likes of Megadeth, Skid Row and Whitesnake had steadfastly refused to budge from the Top 40, presumably propelled their in the first pace by a sizeable, loyal fan base. Another such act were AC/DC for whom “Thunderstruck” was already their 14th UK Top 40 hit and followed the likes of “Who Made Who” and “Heatseeker” into the Top 20. As I’ve said many time previously, I never got the boat going to AC/DC island and this did nothing for me. I can’t be doing with their song titles for one thing – they all seem to just constant variants on the whole ‘power’ theme.

The song inspired a whole movie called Thunderstruck which was released in 2004 and was a comedy about five guys who go to an AC/DC show in 1991 and agree to bury the first one who dies next to Bon Scott. No really. Look, here’s the trailer….

…yeah. It looks well shit doesn’t it?

Some Breakers next and we start with the return of S’Express. Despite cornering the market as the commercial face of house music when arriving with a bang back in 1988 with the No 1 single “Theme from S-Express”, Mark Moore and co had suffered from a case of diminishing returns ever since with each subsequent single release peaking lower than its immediate predecessor. Their fortunes were not helped by a two year gap between album releases with sophomore long player “Intercourse” not arriving until a whole three years after the bomb that was “Theme from S-Express” had exploded into the charts.

“Nothing To Lose” was actually the second single to be lifted from “Intercourse”, the first had been “Mantra For A State Of Mind” nearly a year before – see what I mean about them not being fussed about maintaining momentum with regular release schedules? Indeed, the four singles that were released from the album covered a period of three years!

I have to say that I didn’t mind “Nothing To Lose” though and my wife liked it so much she bought the 12″. However, their appeal was definitely on the wane. It peaked at No 32 and became their last ever Top 40 hit until a remix of “Theme from S-Express” retitled as “Theme from S’Express – The Return Trip” made the Top 20 in 1996.

Is this the same DNA who were just in the charts with Suzanne Vega with that remix of “Tom’s Diner”? It is apparently. I had no idea they had more than one hit. A quick check of their discography shows that they had five Top 40 entries although this one, “La Serenissima”, seems to be the only one in their own right. Including “Tom’s Diner”, all the other ones were with additional artists with the most successful and famous being Kylie Minogue whom they remixed “Shocked ” for as “Shocked (DNA Remix)” (it did what it said on the tin) in 1991 which peaked at No 6.

Featuring that ubiquitous James Brown “Funky Drummer” sample, “La Serenissima” was actually a cover of a piece by Rondò Veneziano who Wikipedia tells me are ‘an Italian chamber orchestra, specialising in Baroque music, playing original instruments but incorporating a rock-style rhythm section of synthesiser, bass guitar and drums’. That sounds…erm…like an Italian version of ‘Hooked On Classics’?

“La Serenissima” – the Byzantine title for Venice if you’re asking – peaked at No 34.

Who’s up for some Monie Love? Last seen in the charts at the back end of 1989 with her Top 20 single “Grandpa’s Party”, she was back there again with “It’s a Shame (My Sister)” which was her hip-hop take on “It’s a Shame”, the old 70s hit by The Spinners. Is it my imagination or was Monie Love briefly tipped to be the next hip-hop superstar? Well, there’s still a lot of love for Monie online where she is routinely referred to as a hip-hop icon. Interviewed by http://www.pbs.org and asked what her greatest contribution was to hip-hop, she replied:

“Oh, wow, that’s easy for me. My greatest contribution to Hip-Hop was allowing the United States of America to know and understand exactly how far they reach, and how influential they are to children in completely different countries because I am the import. I’m one of the first successful imports on the Hip-Hop tree of life.”

Import? Ah, you see Monie was born Simone Johnson in Battersea in 1970 before relocating to the US permanently where she carved out a successful career in radio. Oh, and I’ve no idea who True Image are/were who are also credited on the record. Sounds like one of Louis Walsh’s X Factor boy bands to me.

After The Stone Roses earlier in the show, we get another of those acts closely associated with the baggy sound of Manchester (although they were actually from a combination of the West Midlands and Northwich in Cheshire). The Charlatans were bona fide pop stars by this point but this was actually their debut appearance on TOTP never actually having made it on the show for previous single “The Only One I Know” despite it going Top 10 (the promo video had to suffice instead). “Then” was a worthy follow up and very nearly made it two Top Tenners on the bounce, peaking just outside at No 12.

Lead singer and now near National Treasure Tim Burgess has obviously been to the barbers with his bowl cut look replaced with something altogether more sharp. The decision to lop off his locks was made because Tim felt that too many people trying to copy his floppy fringe look apparently. These days of course, he has adopted a hairstyle that seems to be a mash up of Andy Warhol and Purdey from The New Avengers. Haircuts aside, he remains a rather wonderful human being.

If this TOTP was a football match, it would be between the indie/dance baggie sound and heavy rock and this would be the match report:

“After The Baggies (no, not WBA!) went 1-0 up early doors via a strike from The Stone Roses, Heavy Rock equalised via the ever reliable AC/DC. Shortly after the break(ers) however, The Baggies were back in front via a good follow up from The Charlatans. Not to be out done, Heavy Rock fired a second equaliser from veterans Iron Maiden.”

Yes, just like AC/DC earlier, Iron Maiden were still rampaging up the charts as the 80s became the 90s. We could have been forgiven for thinking they were on a sabbatical given the solo career of Bruce Dickinson earlier in the year but they were back with new single “Holy Smoke” which was the lead single from their “No Prayer For The Dying” album. By this point, the band’s fan base was so big that they could guarantee a high chart placing for anything they released as demonstrated by “Holy Smoke” which entered the charts at No 3. The band (or possibly their record label) saw a way to exploit this to the max with their next single “Bring Your Daughter… to the Slaughter” which was released in the week after Xmas when there was traditionally a lull in sales after the Xmas rush. This meant that far fewer copies need to be sold to have a massive hit and so it came to pass that Iron Maiden would score their first and only No 1 single as 1991 dawned.

I don’t really recall “Holy Smoke” at all and on hearing it on this TOTP repeat iI did wonder if it was an instrumental. It isn’t but the reason for my confusion was that the show’s producers started the playback of the track from the point of a guitar solo which I’m guessing was a strategic move to omit some of the song’s more profane lyrics which occur early on such as ‘Flies around shit/bees around honey’ and ‘I’ve lived in filth/I’ve lived in sin/and I still smell cleaner than the shit you’re in’. Ooh, they were scary rebels weren’t they Iron Maiden?

Breaking News! There’s a last gasp winner in The Baggies v Heavy Rock match as the former seal the win with a goal from late substitute The Farm. Hang on, it’s gone to VAR! There’s a debate about whether the goal should stand as Stockley Park look at evidence that The Farm were not actually a baggie band and therefore they should be disqualified from playing. According to a Smash Hits interview with Tim Burgess of The Charlatans, he had this to say about the “Groovy Train” hitmakers:

“I saw them live five years ago and they were a crap R’n’ B band.”

Damning stuff. The decision is in though and the goal stands on the basis of this angle from @TOTPFacts:

If holy trinity indie /dance member Happy Mondays were concerned about The Farm, then they must have been baggy! However, I’m pretty sure that I saw an Expedia advert on the TV the other day that used “Groovy Train” as the soundtrack to it which kind of undermines its indie credentials a bit in my book. Apparently, Duran Duran have turned down multiple lucrative requests over the years from various food outlets asking to use “Hungry Like The Wolf” in an advertising campaign but they have always refused. So there you have it – Duran Duran have more credibility than The Farm. Maybe.

Steve Miller Band are still at No 1 with ‘The Joker” holding off Deee-Lite’s tilt at the top for a second week. The previous week of course had raised the whole chart controversy of the two acts being tied for the No 1 position. Using a clearly unfair ruling, “The Joker” was given the number one as its sales had increased more from the previous week. To diffuse chart rigging accusations, the compilers Gallup subsequently announced that “The Joker” had actually sold 8 (EIGHT!) copies more than “Groove Is In The Heart”. How convenient. Did someone have to look for those 8 sales a bit like Donald Trump going looking for missing votes in the US presidential election?

Wanna hear Homer Simpson singing “The Joker”? Of course you do…

Confirming that he wasn’t a one hit wonder, the play out video is “Tunes Splits The Atom” by MC Tunes and 808 State. This track also confirms, Geoff Hurst in the final minute style, the victory for The Baggies over Heavy Rock with both MC Tunes and 808 State hailing from ‘Madchester’. As if that wasn’t enough, “Tunes Splits The Atom” samples a bass riff from “I Am The Resurrection” by The Stone Roses. Done and indeed dusted.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

eqwrt

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain HollywoodI Can’t Stand It…and therefore I didn’t buy it
2The Stone RosesFools GoldNo but I must have it on something
3Snap!The Cult Of SnapI was not a member of this cult
4AC/DCThunderstruckClusterfuck more like! No
5S’ExpressNothing To LoseNo but my wife bough the 12”
6DNALa SerenissimaNah
7 Monie Love It’s A Shame (My Sister) Nope
8The CharlatansThenNo but it’s on my Melting Pot Best Of CD of theirs
9Iron MaidenHoly SmokeThey could blow their smoke out of their arses for all I cared -no
10The FarmGroovy TrainNo but I easily could have
11Steve Miller BandThe JokerIt’s a no
12MC Tunes / 808 StateTunes Splits The AtomNo

Disclaimer

OK – here’s the thing – the TOTP episodes are only available on iPlayer for a limited amount of time so the link to the programme below only works for about another month so you’ll have to work fast if you want to catch the whole show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000st47/top-of-the-pops-20091990

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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TOTP 06 SEP 1990

We’ve finally left the long, hot Summer of 1990 behind (well almost) as we move into September of that year here at TOTP Rewind. However, the BBC were probably not fully focussed on their flagship popular music show this particular week as the day after this TOTP aired, we saw the return to our screens of one of Auntie Beeb’s jewel-in-the-crown shows from back in the day. The Generation Game had been off TV for nearly the whole of the 80s before it was revitalised in the new decade for a run of series between 1990 and 1994. Our family had been avid watchers back in the 70s when I was growing up and Saturdays would be a regular diet of the football scores on Grandstand followed by hiding behind the sofa with Dr Who and then Brucie Forsyth in that once hallowed early evening light entertainment slot with Anthea Redfearn giving us a twirl before a cuddly toy on the conveyor belt at the show’s climax. Even when Brucie left, the show continued to flourish under the stewardship of new host Larry Grayson who pulled in an audience of 25 million on one occasion. By the early 80s though, ITV had upped its game and The Generation Game was being whopped by Game For A Laugh (which I never really got on board with) and was axed after Grayson decided to leave the show.

What has all this got to do with the charts of September 1990? I would love to be able to say that “Cuddly Toy” by Roachford was in the charts but that occurrence had already happened back in early ’89. How about there being a Bruce in the Top 40 courtesy of Mr Springsteen? Sadly no. However, as with the comeback of The Generation Game, this TOTP also sees the return of two acts that were mostly synonymous with a different era of music – OK it was only the recently departed 80s but that was still in the past yeah?

And talking of the return of a golden oldie, we start with Adamski and his latest hit “The Space jungle”. What? Adamski? He was one of the hottest stars of dance music on the planet back in 1990 wasn’t he? He’d just had a massive No 1 in “Killer” and his latest single has a groovy, futuristic title? How on earth does he qualify as a golden oldie? Alright, calm down. It wasn’t Admaski I was referring to per se but his new single. Despite its title, it was actually just a cover version of the old Elvis hit “All Shook Up”. Admittedly, it was a bit out there with the added house piano motifs and rapping courtesy of Ricardo da Force but a cover version of an old 50s rock ‘n’ roll number none the less. As I said, a golden oldie.

So the obvious question about this release was why? When quizzed about it in a Smash Hits interview, Adamski (real name Adam Tinley) said that the track had started life as an instrumental but when performing it at Glastonbury he just started singing “All Shook Up”. ‘I think it must have been a message from Elvis from the grave’ he quipped.

I wasn’t taken by this track at all I’m afraid. The juxtaposition of Elvis and house music was too much for me to process but plenty of punters bought the single sending it to No 7. However, it would be Adamski’s final ever Top 40 hit. Of course, this wasn’t to be the last we saw of an Elvis song receiving the dance-it-up treatment. In 2002, Dutch musician Tom Holkenborg aka Junkie XL or JXL took a version of “A Little Less Conversation” all the way to No 1. And that, Adamski, is how you do a remix of Elvis.

“Now Mariah Carey is a 20 year old singer songwriter from New York City” states tonight’s host Jakki Brambles and it’s interesting to note that she has to advise the watching millions at home who she is – Mariah that is not herself. Yes, there was a time when we didn’t know all about Ms.Carey and that time was 1990. To be fair, “Vision Of Love” was her debut single so we didn’t have much to go on. She would of course become one of the biggest singers on the planet in due course. What is also interesting about that intro is the description of Mariah as a songwriter which I think probably gets overlooked – I’m pretty sure I haven’t given it much thought before now. As far as I can tell though, she writes all her own lyrics and contributes to the music on every track of her albums and yet I’m betting that songwriter isn’t the first thing we think about when we hear the name Mariah Carey. There’s her voice and vocal range to start with, then there’s the diva reputation, her sex symbol status, her gay icon standing….does songwriter come behind all of these things? Seems a bit unfair. I’m sure if you’re a huge Mariah fan (do they have a collective noun?) then you would maybe have her ability to craft songs higher up the list.

“Vision Of Love” peaked at No 9 in the UK but was the first of four consecutive No 1 records all taken from her debut album in the US.

Not sure if a hit from four years previous counts as being an ‘oldie’ but this next tune was certainly golden. Talk Talk were back in the Top 40 for a second time in 1990 due to the commercial success of their “Natural History: The Very Best of Talk Talk” album. After “It’s My Life” earlier in the year, it was the turn of “Life’s What You Make It” to get the re-issue treatment this time. The difference between the two was that the former had never been a Top 40 hit in its initial release but the latter had already made No 16 when first in the charts back in 1986. Whilst not quite scaling those heights a second time around, its No 23 placing wasn’t bad going. The Best Of album itself was a huge success rising to No 3 in the charts which for a band that never even had a solitary Top 10 single was remarkable. EMI would try and repeat their “It’s My Life” trick of making a hit out of an initial flop record when they re-released yet another single to promote the album in “Such a Shame” which is a great song but it was a release too far and it stalled at No 78, a whopping 29 places further down the charts than its 1984 initial outing.

Within two years and after one final very experimental album, Talk Talk would disband. Lead singer Mark Hollis would pretty much retire from the music business, releasing just one solo album in 1998. Sadly, he died just over two years ago at the age of 64. Talk Talk, however, remain one of the most influential groups of their era.

Ooh now, in contrast to all this golden oldie stuff, here comes a brand new group! Except that…. they weren’t brand new as The Farm had been around since 1983, releasing numerous independent singles before hooking up with Suggs from Madness who produced their next single, a cover of “(I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone”, the old hit by The Monkees. This brought them national attention when it peaked at No 58 in the charts. Wearing their Liverpudlian credentials on their sleeves, the band were very much associated with a ‘lads’ culture of music and football and were often referred to as a ‘scally’ band, a term they rejected in favour of something they called ‘urchin rock’ (I don’t think that ever took off as a genre did it?).

The release of “Groovy Train” saw them go mainstream with the single gatecrashing the Top 10 before peaking at No 6. Its musical style was very much in line with the sound of the year – that baggy/indie dance movement – and would pave the way for their next and biggest single “All Together Now” which would go Top 3 later in the year. The buzz around their debut album on a major label (“Spartacus”) was enormous by this point. I can clearly recall that the two pre-release albums we got asked most about when I joined Our Price in late 1990 were “Doubt” by Jesus Jones and “Spartacus” both of which would top the charts when released in 1991.

Liverpool set soap Brookside played a part in the band’s fortunes. The guy who played grumpy old git Harry Cross in the show starred in the promo video for “Groovy Train” but I’m sure that the character of Sammy Rogers wore a “Groovy Train” t-shirt in one episode as well.

As it’s the first show of the new month, we get that weird Top 5 albums feature again. For the record, the best selling albums of August 1990 were:

1. Elton John – “Sleeping With The Past”

2. New Kids On The Block – “Step By Step”

3. Phil Collins – “…But Seriously”

4. Luciano Pavarotti – “The Essential Luciano Pavarotti”

5. Madonna – “I’m Breathless”

None of this is very interesting except for the footnote maybe of TOTP actually playing a single that didn’t ever make it into the Top 40. Yes, the video used to promote Elton John’s “Sleeping With The Past” album was for his current single “Club At The End Of The Street” which peaked at No 47. Had that ever happened before or since?

Right who’s next? Well it’s Caron Wheeler with “Livin’ in the Light“. Caron, of course, was the voice and very much the public face on two of Soul II Soul’s biggest  hits in “Keep on Movin'” and “Back to Life (However Do You Want Me)”. So why the solo career move? Here’s Caron herself in a Smash Hits interview on that subject:

“Soul II Soul was always really a collective but I was always a featured artist. A lot of people misconceived it as being my group. Within themselves, it’s like a family with certain key members who were always there but I was never really part of that family.”

Oh OK, so a bit like Beats International then. In fact, you could say Caron was the Lindy Layton of Soul II Soul…or should that be Lindy Layton was the Caron Wheeler of Beats International? Anyway, as Jakki Brambles rightly says, “Livin’ in the Light” was Caron’s debut hit single and taken from her album “UK Blak”. To my uncultured ears it didn’t sound that different to that Soul II Soul sound she had left behind or was that just because she was the singer on those songs so it was always going to be a little bit reminiscent of her past? Great things were predicted for Caron and although the album sold well enough, she only returned to the Top 40 singles chart once more (literally at No 40) with the album’s title track. She seemed to spend the next 30 odd years rejoining and then subsequently leaving the Soul II Soul family at various intervals. I’m sure she’s done lots of other things but if you check her Wikipedia entry, that’s the impression you get.

“Livin’ in the Light” peaked at No 14.

“Just deee-lovely and delicious”…yes it’s Deee-Lite (three ‘e’s in the spelling or no points) with their dance floor banger “Groove Is In The Heart”. Is it fair that they are still very much seen (in this country at least) as one hit wonders? Let’s examine the evidence:

Exhibit A (m’lud): They actually had another Top 40 hit in this country in “Power of Love” / “Build The Bridge” which was the follow up to “Groove Is In The Heart” and peaked at No 25.

Judge: Erm..I see. Well, case closed then.

Except that doesn’t really tell the whole story of what happened to Deee-Lite. Why didn’t they go on to dominate the dance music landscape for years with their brand of innovative yet supremely infectious sound? Was it internal strife within the band? Or the emergence of grunge perhaps? Something else altogether or both of these things? Well, their album “World Clique” sold steadily, eventually securing gold sales of 100,000 units but the two subsequent albums released over the next four years shifted vastly reduced quantities. Apparently group member Towa Tei wasn’t into the touring aspect of the band at all causing divisions within the trio whilst his musical interests moved away from the Deee-Lite manifesto. Meanwhile, Lady Miss Kier and DJ Dmitry’s relationship finished around 1994 which maybe had something to do with the group’s demise. Whatever the reasons behind their story, a little bit of 1990 (nay the whole decade) will always belong to Deee-Lite and their calling card “Groove Is In The Heart”.

Definitely back on the golden oldie theme now as we welcome back an act who we haven’t heard from for five years according to Jakki Brambles. Except that isn’t strictly true. What Jakki should have said is that Loose Ends hadn’t been on TOTP in the last five years. They had actually been making and releasing music in the interim period, it was just that their commercial fortunes had dipped a bit. Back in 1985, Loose Ends were the darlings of the UK R&B scene with hits like “Hangin’ on a String (Contemplating)” and “Magic Touch”. However, of the seven singles released after these hits, only one breached the UK Top 40 (and presumably wasn’t chose by the TOTP producers to appear on the show). Their 1988 album “The Real Chuckeeboo” only made it to No 52 in the charts. It was a different story across the pond though where they continued to chalk up hits on the US R’n’B charts. Over here though it was a case of out of sight, out of mind.

Good old musical differences took hold and members Steve Nichol and Jane Eugene left leaving Carl McIntosh as the only original member (Jakki was on the money with that info). Undeterred, he returned with a new line up and new album called “Look How Long” of which “Don’t Be A Fool” was its lead single supposedly about his previous band mates (see also “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)” by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel). The single restored their chart fortunes but it proved to also be a final hurrah with “Look How Long” being the last studio album released under the Loose Ends name. Mackintosh would go onto produce many an artist including …yes…Caron Wheeler. I love it when a post comes together like that! Talk about tying up loose ends!

It’s a third week at No 1 for Bombalurina and “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini“. When will this nightmare be over? Please let this be the last week of this nonsense. This time we get the hitherto unseen promo video on the show. Ok, let’s see what that was like then. I’m not expecting much….

…well, unsurprisingly it’s basically a young woman in a skimpy yellow polka dot bikini. She’s joined on the fake beach scene by those ever present two blonde dancers throwing some shapes whilst Timmy Mallett lounges around on a hammock. It’s shockingly bad, redeemed only slightly by Mallett falling off said hammock in the final freeze frame.

The awfulness of the video should have been the fart pebble on the top of this particular shitcake but there’s a side story that even steals that crap-olade. So bad were Mallett’s vocals that they had to get someone else in to record them. Look at this:

1990 – hang your head in shame.

The play out video is “Black Cat” by Janet Jackson. This was the sixth of an incredible seven singles lifted from her “Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814” album and for my money, this was the best one. Very much in an all out rock vein as opposed to her more urban dance pop numbers, it was also the highest charting of those seven singles in the UK. It was Janet’s third No 1 hit from the album in the US making her the first solo artist to achieve two No 1 hits over there in the 1990s. Further accolades came in the shape of a Grammy Award nomination in the category of Best Female Rock Vocal Performance. Although losing out to Alannah Myles for “Black Velvet”, Janet became the first artist to earn nominations across all five categories of Pop, Dance, Rock, Rap,and R&B for the same song.

However, the first thing that I think of every time I hear “Black Cat” is nothing to do with awards and laurels but relates to my early days at Our Price. There was a guy working in the Manchester store that I started in called Mark who put this on the shop stereo and spent a good few minutes just playing the panther growl sound effect at the very start of the track and skipping back to it constantly so that all anyone in the shop could hear was this repeated loop of a panther snarling. Pretty much cleared the shop which was the whole point as it was nearly closing time and we all wanted to go home.

For posterity’s sake, I include the chart run down below:

If you really want to watch the whole show over, somebody has helpfully added it in its entirety to YouTube. Fill your boots!

Order of appearanceArtistSongDid I Buy it?
1AdamskiThe Space JungleNah
2Mariah CareyVision Of LoveNope
3Talk TalkLife’s What You Make ItNot the single but I have it on a Best Of of theirs somewhere I think
4The FarmGroovy TrainNo but I easily could have
5Caron WheelerLivin’ In The LightNot my bag at all
6Deee-LiteGroove Is In The HeartWhere’s my copy of this?! I must have bought this surely?!
7Loose EndsDon’t Be A FoolSee 5 above
8BombalurinaItsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot BikiniHow does f**k off sound as an answer?
9Janet JacksonBlack CatDon’t think I did

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

Some bedtime reading?

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