It’s nearly Christmas. Well, yes that’s hardly news I know but I’m talking about Christmas twenty-nine years ago as per the BBC4 TOTP repeats schedule which has arrived at the festive period in 1993. I was working in the Our Price store in Altrincham at the time and so if I watched this episode then I would have done so in the knowledge that the following day was perhaps the busiest of the whole retail year. Given my experience of Christmas Eve in the Rochdale store the previous year, I wouldn’t have been looking forward to it. You could say there was a distinct lack of festive cheer from the punters or to put it another way, they tore lumps out of us. Rude, aggressive and if we told them that we’d sold out of Gloria Estefan’s Greatest Hits on cassette (we had), they reacted as if we’d told their three year old child that Father Christmas didn’t exist. As such, I wasn’t looking forward much to the 24th December. I wonder which songs were in the charts that I might have been flogging to Christmas stressed customers?
We start with a song that would reach its chart peak the following year which is why I associate “Come Baby Come” by K7 with 1994 rather than 1993. The last time this was on TOTP in the Breakers section, I commented on how its lyrics were full of innuendo so I was expecting a very risqué studio performance full of explicit, sexually charged dance moves. However, whilst Mr K7 (real name Louis Sharpe) and his three backing singers/dancers are next level slick, I didn’t notice too many moves that would have had the TOTP producers panicking. Bizarrely though, at one point the main man pulls out one that appears to be replicating him washing his armpits in the shower with his microphone substituting for a bar of soap! He then follows it up with a Jarvis Cocker Michael Jackson baiting bum waft – not sure if that qualifies as explicit or just plain silly. “Come Baby Come” would peak at No 3 in the UK.
The Bee Gees are up to No 4 with “For Whom The Bell Tolls” giving them their highest chart placing since their No 1 “You Win Again” in 1987. The song’s title references the phrase originally written by metaphysical poet John Donne and the novel by Ernest Hemingway but there was another band that beat the Gibb brothers to using it to name a song by nearly a decade. I have to admit to not having a clue that this track even existed before now but exist it does and it comes from one of the biggest rock bands ever. Metallica (for it is they) recorded a track called “For Whom The Bell Tolls” for their second album “Ride The Lightning” in 1984. In the name of musical exploration, I listened to it earlier and guess what? It did absolutely nothing for me! Lots of crunching rock guitar and strangulated vocals does not make yours truly a happy boy. Apparently the song is a huge fan favourite but seeing as I’m not a Metallica fan, that influences me as much as Rishi Sunak telling me that he cares about the working class (ooh, bit of politics there as Ben Elton used to say).
Anyway, the rather surprising success of the Bee Gees song meant that the group now had a UK Top 5 single in four consecutive decades (the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s) – that’s approaching Cliff Richard levels of chart achievement. They would even bag themselves two more before the decade was out. Quite remarkable.
Now here’s a curious but rather charming Christmas tune. This seemed to come out of nowhere just as the big day approached but maybe it was released too late to make any real impression on the Top 40. Certainly its chart peak of No 37 seems to reflect that. Or maybe it was just too out of leftfield for the mainstream Christmas market with its non traditional shoppers for whom the festive season is the only time they would venture into a record shop all year looking for Cliff Richard or that nice Elton John and Kiki Dee song or even the Bee Gees. It was unlikely their shopping list included the record by Saint Etienne and the bloke from The Charlatans.
I’d forgotten that “I Was Born On Christmas Day” was actually just one song from a four track EP called (rather bluntly) “Xmas 93” but it was the only one to feature the now national treasure that is Tim Burgess. The other tracks included a Billy Fury cover and two instrumentals none of which I’ve ever heard as the lead song was presumably the only one played.
As Christmas tunes go, it’s an odd one but pretty groovy. Mostly devoid of the usual festive music baubles (sleigh bells, references to Santa Claus, snow, trees, presents etc), it instead has a driving house beat and an unusual melody. In fact, apart from its title which is sung on repeat in the coda, there’s very little to distinguish it’s a Christmas song. The lyrics seem to be about someone missing their absent partner throughout the course of the year awaiting their return at Christmas and thinking of everything that has happened in the world they left behind whilst away.
Tim Burgess and Sarah Cracknell have definite chemistry up there on stage, holding hands, draping a shared feather boa around each other’s shoulders…is there even a little kiss between them at one point? Well, the lyrics do refer to a Tim and Sarah tying the knot!
As host Mark Franklin says in his intro, 1993 had been a great year for Saint Etienne with a Top 10 album (“So Tough”) and their highest ever charting single (to that point) in “You’re In A Bad Way”. The Charlatans on the other hand failed to release any material but would return in 1994 with their own Top 10 album “Up To Our Hips” and the excellent single “Can’t Get Out Of Bed”. As for “I Was Born In Christmas Day”, you don’t hear it that often on the radio despite its obvious time slot each year. Incidentally, neither Tim nor Sarah were actually born on Christmas Day though Saint Etienne’s Bob Stanley was. Other rock/pop stars born on the 25th December include Annie Lennox, Dido and Shane MacGowan whilst Lemmy came into the world on Christmas Eve.
One of the nastiest things about 1993 (amongst many) was the breakthrough success of the revolting Shabba Ranks. After a rereleased “Mr Loverman” took him to No 3, there was a small procession of follow up singles in its wake of which “Family Affair” was the third. Pretty much a remake of the Sly And The Family Stone classic with some rapping and toasting over the top (including inevitably a few shouts of ‘Shabba!’), this was from the soundtrack to the Addams Family Values film. I’d quite enjoyed the silly but likeable “Addams Groove” by Hammer from the original 1991 The Addams Family film but this was just horrible. It featured Patra, Terri and Monica (I’ve no idea) and made No 18 in the charts but I’m glad to say I don’t remember it at all – I’ve never seen any of the Addams Family films either. Shabba Ranks would only have one more UK Top 40 hit after this. Good riddance to his homophobic ass!
Dina Carroll now with “The Perfect Year”, a single that perfectly encapsulates her annus mirabilis. One of the comments most made by people commenting on the Twitter hashtag #TOTP during the 1993 repeats has been “Whatever happened to Dina Carroll?” and it’s a fair question. After this single, we didn’t hear any new material from her for nearly three years. When it did arrive, it was successful but just not anywhere near as much as her earlier stuff. Debut album “So Close” went four times platinum. By comparison, the follow up “Only Human” sold a quarter of that; not insubstantial by any measure but a definite decline. Why did it take so long for that sophomore album to appear? Well, she suffered from burn out after that initial runaway success and took a break from touring and recording and when she returned she walked into a contract mess. The guy who signed her for A&M had left for Mercury Records but his new label weren’t keen on him taking Dina with him initially. By the time it was all resolved and Dina’s first single on Mercury appeared (“Escaping”), it was 1996!
Her new label seemed unsure what to do with her – was she a slick, soul balladeer or a club diva? Or both? She’d successfully straddled both camps with her eclectic debut album but somehow Mercury didn’t seem reassured by that. A third album was never released and a case of otosclerosis (hereditary bone disease of the ear) was clearly not helpful for a recording artist. As the millennium dawned, Dina just seemed to disappear. A Best Of album fulfilled her contractual obligations to Mercury in 2001 and her only release since then was 2016’s “We Bring The Party” with the Dig Band.
Meanwhile, back in 1993, Dina became the only British female artist to have two simultaneous Top 10 hits during the whole of the decade. In the week 12th to 18th December, “Don’t Be A Stranger” was at No 8 whilst “The Perfect Year” was at No 10. I think I’m right in saying A&M had deleted the former to make way for the latter so we had loads of the No 10 but hardly any of the No 8. Funny the things you remember isn’t it?
Even though this is officially the Christmas chart, there are still room for a couple of Breakers. One though is utterly dreadful and the other is last year’s Christmas No 1! Yes, despite being the best selling single in the UK of 1992, it’s back in the Top 40 twelve months on. I refer, of course, to Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You”. Now remember that the charts were a different beast back then to the one that functions (sort of) these days. You couldn’t just get a song (any song) into the charts via a concerted social media campaign by coercing people into streaming it loads. It had to be officially released which means that “I Will Always Love You”, despite its ubiquity over the last twelve months, must have been rereleased. Why would that have happened? Well, it was all to do with the VHS of The Bodyguard coming out in November of this year.
This was such a big marketing event back then that it presumably made perfect sense to record label Arista to give the soundtrack and the most famous single from it another promotional push. As a result, “I Will Always Love You” managed a peak of No 25 the second time around. Of course, this wasn’t an entirely new phenomenon. In 1985, both “Last Christmas” by Wham! and “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid returned to the charts after being the festive No 2 and No 1 respectively the year before. Even so though, it did feel like overkill.
Now to that second and abhorrent Breaker. Probably long forgotten as the other novelty record in the chart of Christmas 1993, overshadowed by the spotted, pink dickhead at No 1 but the combination of Hulk Hogan and Green Jellÿ doing a cover of “I’m The Leader Of The Gang” is potentially even more heinous than the blobby one’s effort, given what we now know about Gary Glitter. Hulk Hogan had been a wrestling star throughout the 80s with his 1988 WWF match with Andre the Giant holding the record for the highest TV audience for wrestling ever. In 1993, Hogan broke away from WWF to sign for rival federation WCW which maybe is the reason for this single release? Bit of promotion for WCW? After all, the WWF Superstars had bagged themselves two UK hit singles in the past twelve months so…
Green Jellÿ had achieved the same chart feat with two hits of their own in 1993 with “Three Little Pigs” and “Anarchy In The UK” and it was they that Hogan was paired with to deliver this execrable record. I mean, it’s literally unlistenable. Who the hell bought enough copies to take it to No 25?
The penultimate tune before we get to the Christmas No 1 comes from EYC. This lot of chancers were put together to take the US by storm but did diddly squat over there. They did, however, gain moderate chart success both here and in Australia. Debut hit “Feelin’ Alright” reached No 16 but listening to it back now, it just sounds like a lot of horrible shouting. Maybe I’m just too middle aged to be able to engage with this sort of stuff now but I probably felt the same about it nearly thirty years ago.
They were the first act to win the Best Roadshow Act award at the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party but that sounds like an award that was designed purely for them to win – a bit like the award I got from my works 5-a-side team for Most Improved Player (a back handed compliment if there ever was one). They also picked up six UK Top 40 singles during their brief career so I fear we may not have seen the last of them by a long chalk.
“So this is Christmas and what have you done?” sang John Lennon and in 1993 this line rang truer than ever for it was indeed Christmas and what the British public had done was to make Mr Blobby the festive chart topper. How on earth could we have let this happen?! I’d foolishly believed that the “Mr Blobby” single had peaked too early after being No 1 two weeks ago but the deposed chart topper somehow rallied and regained the crown just in time to be announced as the Christmas No 1. How often did that sort of chart trajectory occur? Apparently “She Loves You” by The Beatles was No 1 for four weeks in 1963 before dropping down for a whole seven weeks and then miraculously returning to the top for a further two weeks. The Fab Four then knocked themselves off the pinnacle with “I Want To Hold Your Hand”. So not without precedent but that was The f*****g Beatles we’re talking about not some tit in a pink latex suit! Aaaarrrgh!!
| Order of appearance | Artist | Title | Did I buy it? |
| 1 | K7 | Come Baby Come | I did not |
| 2 | Bee Gees | For Whom The Bell Tolls | Nah |
| 3 | Saint Etienne and Tim Burgess | I Was Born On Christmas Day | Probably should have but no |
| 4 | Shabba Ranks with Patra, Terri and Monica | Family Affair | Never happening |
| 5 | Dina Carroll | The Perfect Year | Nope |
| 6 | Whitney Houston | I Will Always Love You | Not the first nor second time |
| 7 | Hulk Hogan and Green Jellÿ | I’m The Leader Of The Gang | As if |
| 8 | EYC | Feeling’ Alright | No |
| 9 | Mr Blobby | Mr Blobby | Did I bollocks! |
Disclaimer
I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).
All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001g4xh/top-of-the-pops-23121993
TOTP Rewind - the 90s 
Great as always! Next, will you be concluding 1993 / covering the Xmas edition / posting a 1994 preamble / getting straight into the 4/1/94 edition?
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Hi rich, thanks for your lovely words. To answer your question, I’m not bothering with the Xmas edition as there’s nothing on it we haven’t already seen. There’s a 1993 overview coming soon and a small 1994 intro hopefully before the 6/1/94 TOTP repeat
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