It’s a busy a show this one with eight of the nine songs on it making their debut. Only the No 1 record had we seen before. The effect of the machinations of the Christmas release schedules I guess. We’re back to the Radio 1 DJs as host after last week’s ‘golden mic’ slot was filled by Michelle Gayle and thank god it’s not Simon Mayo but the dull yet much less irritating Mark Goodier in the chair.

We start with a band who I had forgotten had so many hits and therefore so many TOTP appearances though sadly for them, this would be their final one in the studio. It was quite a run though. Ten consecutive Top 40 singles up to this point (they had a further two minor ones subsequently) between June 1991 and November 1994 though only one made the Top 10. Who am I talking about? Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine obviously though their success was anything but obvious. A pair of not especially attractive grebos playing a brand of indie power pop with clever clever lyrics? It doesn’t sound like the template for guaranteed commercial triumph and yet they were brilliant and a welcome breath of fresh air to some of the crud clogging up the charts during their own tenure there. “Let’s Get Tattoos” was the lead single from their fifth studio album “Worry Bomb” and would get to No 30 whilst the album would peak at No 9.

Apparently the semi naked male dancers that we see here are also in the promo video and their gyrations and thrusts illicit the desired response from the studio audience but I’m guessing their inclusion here is to make some sort of ironic comment about how pop music was being promoted? Or they were sending themselves up with the most unlikely backing they could think up? Whatever the reason, you would have thought that they would have found some guys with actual tattoos given the title of their song wouldn’t you? I can’t see any across those four torsos. Maybe they weren’t as ubiquitous back then as they are today? In fact when did the world become obsessed with tattoos? Maybe I should add the word ‘visionary’ to that earlier description of mine of Jim Bob and Fruitbat?

https://youtu.be/rPn3BucE7nQ

Whatever happened to Jimmy Nail? From 1984 to the end of the 90s, he was a colossus of the entertainment world. The star of ratings gobbling TV shows like Auf Wiedersehen, Pet and Spender whilst simultaneously having a career as a pop star with huge hits like “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore” and “Ain’t No Doubt”, the guy was everywhere. By the time 1994 was coming to an end, he was on to his next successful project which combined both worlds. Crocodile Shoes was a TV series that told the story of a Newcastle factory worker who becomes a county and western star with Nail not only in the starring role but also writing it. It ran for two series and thirteen episodes finishing in 1996.

Nail also wrote half the songs on the album that accompanied the series with Prefab Sprout’s Paddy McAloon also contributing three tracks. Off the back of the success of the show, the album was also a runaway sales monster becoming the Christmas No 2 album that year. That’s some units shifted right there. The title track was the lead single and the biggest hit (No 4) from the album as well as being the theme tune to the series. I have to say that I don’t mind Nail and his rather acquired taste voice but “Crocodile Shoes” never really appealed to me that much, being a bit too maudlin for my ears. The follow up, “Cowboy Dreams” written by the aforementioned McAloon, is a great tune though. Maybe if I’d actually watched the show (which I somehow managed to miss despite having liked his previous projects), I might have had more fondness for it.

After the second series finished (which gave rise to a second album of tunes from the show), Nail moved into films with a role in Evita (alongside Madonna) and then returned to more familiar territory with the movie Still Crazy about a fictional 70s rock band (clearly based on the Pink Floyd story) in which he played bassist Les Wickes. It’s not a bad little film although some of the performances by the likes of Bill Nighy and Timothy Spall are a bit hammy. In the meantime, Nail kept recording music with an album called “Big River” coming between the Crocodile Shoes soundtracks and an album called “Tadpoles In A Jar” in 1999 as well as a Best Of called “The Nail File” in 1997.

And then…well, if not nothing then very little. There was one final album in 2001 and that was it for the musical arm of his career and acting wise, he just seemed to stop working. He played a character called Clayface the Goblin (no seriously) in something called The 10th Kingdom in 2000 and then only resurfaced eight years later with a show I don’t know at all called Parents Of The Band which he co-created and starred in. The only trace of him since then was his stint in Sting’s musical The Last Ship on Broadway in 2014. I hope the guy’s OK these days. His Wikipedia entry under the section Personal Life just says he has two children, lives in London and supports Newcastle United but then doesn’t everyone from Newcastle?

https://youtu.be/7bcUrdMS9hk

We all know “We Have All The Time In The World” by Louis Armstrong from the 1969 James Bond film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (the one with George Lazenby as 007) but it didn’t actually become a hit until 25 years later when it was used in a Guinness advert. And yet I can’t recall this rerelease at all despite it going all the way to No 3 and being tipped for the Christmas No 1 spot at one point. To be honest, I barely remember the advert despite it being very stylish and classic looking. The ‘surfer’ ad with the horses bursting from waves? Absolutely – it’s iconic. That bloke doing weird dancing whilst waiting for his pint to settle? Of course and selling bucket loads of that “Guaglione” mambo tune? This one though that was named “Infinity” by the ad agency? Nope.

Obviously the record company couldn’t use the actual Guinness advert to promote the single so this hastily cobbled together looking promo had to do instead. Some of the imagery used where the film is in black and white with splashes of over exaggerated colour as a counterpoint seems to me to have echoes of the girl in the red coat sequence from the Schindler’s List film that came out this year which seems an odd choice given the subject matter of that movie. Maybe it was coincidence. The little girl in the video looks like Mara Wilson from the Matilda film though I don’t think it is. Talking of coincidence though, the woman who played Miss Honey in Matilda was also in Schindler’s List. I’m going off on a tangent now though. Back to Satchmo and predictably, a Greatest Hits album was released called “The Pure Genius Of Louis Armstrong: We Have All The Time In The World” after the success of the single. Never missed a trick did they these record companies?

Right who’s this? New Atlantic/U4EA featuring Berri? WHO?! My research tells me that there was a hit called “I Know” in 1992 by New Atlantic but I can’t recall it (and I probably reviewed it as well) but it seems this was the same people (a duo from Southport as it goes). So that’s the introductions done but this whole thing is completely confusing to me. Firstly, this dance version of “Sunshine After The Rain” (originally a hit for Elkie Brooks in 1977) probably isn’t the single that people remember as being a hit around the mid-90s. There was another release of the track the following year which was credited just to Berri and somehow that subtle change of marketing turned it from a No 26 hit in 1994 to a No 4 hit in 1995. The other reason that I find this hit troublesome is that I always conflate it with “Sunshine On A Rainy Day” from 1991 by Zoë. You know what? I’m going to give my poor brain a break and just leave this one at that until it does a Carly Simon and comes around again in the 1995 BBC4 TOTP repeats.

https://youtu.be/hAKEAIZ_Wf4

Here’s another hit I don’t remember and to be fair to the artist who is routinely accused of making music that all just sounds the same, this one is slightly different so you might have thought it would have stuck out in my memory cells but no. Sorry Jay Kay.

Yes, it’s Jamiroquai who are performing live by satellite from a rooftop somewhere in Paris. Now the main thing that I’m taking from this ‘exclusive’ is how badly executed it is. What’s the most famous landmark in Paris? The Eiffel Tower yeah? Has to be. So when they set up this location shoot, presumably somebody asked if the Eiffel Tower can be seen in the background? “Yes” would have come the reply. Surely the conversation should then have gone “Great! Position the cameras so that it’s in shot the whole time while Jay Kay is singing” shouldn’t it? That would have been a perfect example of head producer Ric Blaxill’s vision for this slot as demonstrated by Bon Jovi performing against a backdrop of Niagara Falls recently. Instead, one of the most instantly recognisable structures in the world spends most of the time tantalisingly just out of sight. What a wasted opportunity!

For the record, “Half The Man” was the second single from sophomore album “The Return Of The Space Cowboy” and peaked at No 15. However, if you want a record about not being the man you used to be, may I respectfully suggest this instead:

I seem to spend a lot of time writing the words “I don’t remember this” in my blog despite the fact I spent the time they were in the charts working in a mainstream record shop and here I go again but how the hell do I not remember this one. Or rather this video. When I think about the emergence of Kylie Minogue from the shackles of her Stock, Aitken and Waterman past as a serious dance artist, the two things that come to mind are her No 2 single “Confide In Me” and that she was signed to trendy dance label Deconstruction. I don’t recall any of the follow up singles of which “Put Yourself In My Place” was the first. I can only conclude that I can’t have caught this particular TOTP that showed Kylie’s video for the song in which she goes nude. Intentionally an homage to the famous scene in 1968 sci-fi film Barbarella starring Jane Fonda, it probably loses sight of its primary function which is to promote the song but instead it created more of a story about itself. Maybe the director was working on the adage any promotion is good promotion.

The song itself is pretty good, a slick piece of pop balladry that Kylie’s traditionally criticised vocals suit perfectly. It probably deserved better than a peak of No 11 and certainly deserved better than being overshadowed by its infamous video.

To say that Sinéad O’Connor is such a recognisable name in the world of music, her collection of Top 40 singles is rather small. This one, “Thank You For Hearing Me”, was only her fifth under her name alone since her debut hit “Mandinka” in 1988 and the only subsequent chart entries she had were as a featured artist on records by the likes of Ian Brown, Shane MacGowan and Massive Attack. Somehow though, she seems to have clocked up a fair few TOTP appearances in 1994. I think this might be the third. There was one for her song from the soundtrack to In The Name Of The Father which didn’t end up being a hit and then wasn’t she on the other week in the album chart slot doing “Fire On Babylon” from her “Universal Mother” album? I think she was. This one though was for a bona fide Top 40 song when “Thank You For Hearing Me” peaked at No 13 as the official lead single from the album. It was a deserved hit as well. A hypnotic, almost hymnal composition; this was the kind of material that suited her voice perfectly and was a good vehicle to get people talking about her talents again rather than her sometimes controversial antics.

Four days before this TOTP aired, ex The Byrds and Crosby, Stills And Nash member David Crosby was not having a good time. He’d been in hospital having a seven hour liver transplant operation. Happily, it was successful and he lived for just under another 30 years before his death earlier in 2023 aged 81. One of his co-members of that California supergroup, Stephen Stills, was presumably having a better time of it as his 1970 solo hit “Love The One You’re With” was having a bit of a revival courtesy of Luther Vandross who had recorded it for his covers album “Songs” and released it as a single. He’d recently been in the charts with a cover of Lionel Richie’s “Endless Love” as a duet with Mariah Carey of course. Having got used to not being on stage on his own, he’s recruited a huge choir to back him on his performance here. It all kind of sits together pretty well but it didn’t win over the UK record buying public and it peaked at a lowly No 31. Mind you that was six places higher than the Stephen Stills original (it was a much bigger hit in the US) and a whopping sixteen places higher than the cover by Bucks Fizz in 1986. The follow up to the surprise, career reviving “New Beginning (Mamba Seyra)”, its lack of success was seen as the final nail in the coffin of their time as chart stars and they never returned to the UK Top 40 again.

https://youtu.be/H4MBp7DZLXw

Pato Banton’s time at the top of the charts has come to an end as Baby D takes over for a two week stint with “Let Me Be Your Fantasy”. Now, a quick listen to the lyrics of this one should be enough to get a handle on what the song is about. Apparently nobody at the BBC was listening otherwise there would have surely have been a “We Call It Acieed” style furore. It’s essentially a musical exaltation of the effects of the drug ecstasy. Check these lyrics out:

Come take a trip to my wonderland
Let’s spread our wings and fly away
Lotions of love flow through your hands
See visions, colours everyday
Let me feel your warm embrace
Release the colours in your mind

Songwriters: Floyd Dyce
Let Me Be Your Fantasy lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Bucks Music Group, The Royalty Network Inc., Warner Chappell Music, Inc

The track uses words like ‘trip’, ‘higher’ and, in one line, even the word ‘ecstasy’. Good job Mike Read had long since left the BBC.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine	Let’s Get Tattoos	I didn’t…buy the record or get a tattoo
2	Jimmy Nail	Crocodile Shoes	Nah
3	Louis Armstrong	We Have All The Time In The World	No
4	New Atlantic/U4EA featuring Berri	Sunshine After The Rain	Negative
5	Jamiroquai	Half The Man	Nope
6	Kylie Minogue	Put Yourself In My Place	I did not
7	Sinéad O’Connor	Thank You For Hearing Me	It’s a no from me
8	Luther Vandross	Love The One You’re With	Not for me thanks
9	Baby D	Let Me Be Your Fantasy	And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001mnym/top-of-the-pops-24111994