It’s Valentine’s Day in 1997 so no doubt the charts (and therefore the TOTP running order) will be full of romantic love songs. Erm…no. Of the nine songs on tonight’s show, I’d say only one is an out and out slushy ballad. The rest…well, some are almost anti-love songs but we’ll get to them soon enough. The host tonight is doubtless the target of many a young girl’s romantic intentions in Peter Andre who, the last time he was the presenter, did a pretty good job it pains me to say. As for me, what was my Valentine’s Day like? Well, according to my diary, I was stressed out at work and my wife was away for the weekend in London so I spent it on my own in front of the TV which seems apt for this most unromantic of shows.

So, kicking us off are Mansun with the lead track from their “Five EP” called “She Makes My Nose Bleed”. Yeah, it’s not the most loved up song title ever and neither is its sound and thank god for that. Taken from their brilliant No 1 album “Attack Of The Grey Lantern”, this was 90s indie rock at its very best. They always sounded like they had such sonic power but that they hadn’t even got out of second gear yet and there was so much more under the bonnet. The day after this TOTP aired, I saw them on that tour with Suede that Peter Andre mentioned in Blackburn with my mate Steve. Given that their single was in the Top 10 at the time, I’m surprised that they were the support act. Presumably the tour had been booked loads earlier when their profile wasn’t as big but they were now contractually bound to complete it in the support slot? Later in this year I convinced another mate called Pete to buy “Attack Of The Grey Lantern” even though he wasn’t familiar with it promising him that it might take a little while to get into but that the pay off when he did would be worth it. He never did tell me if he liked it or not.

Now here’s a nice heartthrob singer for Valentine’s Day but his song isn’t a big ballad either. Mark Owen was possibly actively trying to shed that teen pin up status he’d acquired as part of Take That and be seen as a serious artist – he had written all but two tracks on his debut album “Green Man” after all. “Clementine” was the second single taken from that album and would peak at No 3, just as his debut single “Child” (which had been a big ballad) had done.

I recall that we sold out of the single in the Our Price I was working in during that first week of release. I don’t think it had been our fault per se – I think the initial quantities (the so called ‘scale out’) ordered in for us by the buying department at Head Office hadn’t been big enough. Maybe they’d been deceived by the poor sales performance of “Green Man” which had struggled to a chart peak of No 33. Consequently, perhaps they’d not banked on a second single taken from it charting so high. In fairness to the company buyers, they’d would prove to be ultimately right as Owen’s third single “I Am What I Am” (not that one) would flop when it peaked at No 29 – they’d just gone one single too early. Mark would subsequently be dropped by his label RCA. He wouldn’t reappear as a solo artist until 2003 when the aptly titled sophomore album “In Your Own Time” was released. I’d liked “Child” but “Clementine” seems a bit one dimensional – it was just all about that elongated chorus with the rest of it a bit pedestrian. More ‘Oh my, disappointing’ than ‘oh my darling’ Clementine.

Definitely not a slushy love song for Valentine’s Day was “Remember Me” by Blue Boy. I’m wondering if punters referred to it as “That song that goes ‘ging, gi-gi-gi-gi-ging’” when asking for it in their local record shops. I can’t recall if I was asked for it like that in the Our Price in Stockport but it’s quite possible. Other songs that people asked for not by their title would be “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters (“that one that goes ‘la da dee, la da da’”) and “Song 2” by Blur (“it has a bit in it that goes ‘woo hoo!’”).

Ah, here’s the one and only slushy ballad on the show despite it being broadcast on Valentine’s Day. This was just shameless! OTT (not to be confused with the early 80s late night version of Tiswas) were another Irish boyband who clearly were modelled on Boyzone so much so that their debut hit was an Osmonds cover just as their predecessors’ had been. Talk about obvious! Whilst Ronan et al had taken on “Love Me For A Reason” which had been a chart topper in 1974, OTT went with “Let Me In”, a No 2 hit in the UK in 1973. You can’t tell me this wasn’t just cynically following a boy band blueprint step by step, detail by detail! Oh and look, they’re kitted out in that boyband cliché of all white outfits! They weren’t even that good looking were they? There’s one who seems to have modelled his hairstyle to match that of tonight’s host Peter Andre with those horrible greasy strands hanging down. How did their record label Epic think anyone would fall for this but they did! “Let Me In” would go to No 12 in the UK charts after being a No 2 hit in Ireland. This was the first of four hits they would manage over the next 12 months before Epic lost faith and dropped them. There’s five of them in this performance but one of them left the band at some point as there’s a line up of four on their album cover. Two of them did have interesting names – Niall O’Neill and Alan Mates who really should have had the nickname ‘Billy No’ but was known as ‘Adam’ within the band. They couldn’t sent even get nicknames right!

Next up is a track that fuses a hard rock guitar riff (courtesy of Van Halen), drum ‘n’ bass breakbeats, some reggae dub flourishes and a sample from a 1971 sci-fi film (The Andromeda Strain) – yep, to quote Bon Jovi, this ain’t a love song either. Apollo Four Forty’s biggest hit to this point had been the No 23 placing “Krupa” but “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘bout Dub” would seem them crack the Top 10 for the first time. Now, this was never going to be my cup of tea but I can appreciate it for being experimental, pioneering and pushing the boundaries of dance music composition.

Unlike Orbital the other week, the track lent itself more to a ‘traditional’ performance if that’s the right word. I guess it is in that there a vocalist (of sorts) and a guitarist and a drummer (two drummers actually – very Adam and the Ants). Apparently, the guy on the mike is the frontman for 80s ‘grebo’ band Gaye Bikers On Acid but he’s giving me Alex Mann vibes in his Fluminense football shirt. Who’s Alex Mann? This guy of course…

We’ve seen three of the last four hits before on the show so I might have to skip through these without too much comment. What I will say is that two of the artists have amazing longevity. The first of those is Depeche Mode who when you consider had already been having hits for 16 years back in 1997 and are still going today in 2025…well, you don’t have to be a maths genius to work out how long they’ve been around for. Not bad for a band that started out as teen, synth pop stars in frilly shirts. However, if I hear the phrase “Barrel Of A Gun”, the song that comes to my mind isn’t from Depeche Mode but this…

I can’t help it, I’m a product of my era and the songs that we grew up with are the ones that stick in our heads. No, really. There’s been scientific studies conducted into it – it’s called the ‘reminiscence bump’ so it’s not my fault. Look it up if you don’t believe me. I’m not consciously choosing John Farnham over (this era of) Depeche Mode, it’s been psychologically engineered within me.

No! Mercy please! Not this lot again! Not a third time! What am I supposed to say about this Spanish guitar influenced Eurodance trash? No Mercy were the creation of Frank Farian who gave us Boney M and if you were a child growing up in the 70s then they were a huge presence in your fledgling years (it’s that ‘reminiscence bump’ again). However, he also gave us Milli Vanilli and their lip-syncing, deceiving ways and then this trio of berks and their single “Where Do You Go” so his strike rate wasn’t the best. What I wasn’t aware of before now was that a biopic of the Milli Vanilli story was made in 2023 called Girl You Know It’s True but I guess it’s quite the story to be told – success followed by scandal followed by tragedy. I can’t imagine a film about the No Mercy story being made anytime soon.

There’s a lot to unpack with this next hit starting with who does the lead singer remind me of? I refer to Mark Oliver Everett aka ‘E’ who’d released two albums as a solo artist under that pseudonym in the early 90s before putting together the band Eels. It’ll come to me. Anyway, “Novocaine For The Soul” was the lead single from the band’s debut album “Beautiful Freak” and made the Top 10 in the UK straight off the bat. A great, quirky alt-rock song in the vein of Beck or Presidents Of The USA, it was a perfect antidote to all that generic dance crap in the charts at the time. What should have been a time of great excitement due to this success was tempered though by personal tragedy in Everett’s life. Having already suffered the trauma of finding his father, a prominent quantum physicist, dead at home when he was just 19, he then lost his sister to suicide and his mother to cancer between 1996 and 1998. Three years later, his flight attendant cousin was killed during the terrorist attacks in the US in 2001 when on the plane that was flown at the Pentagon. Everett seemed to process all this tragedy by writing songs – to date the Eels have released 17 studio albums!

Although the band’s line up has fluctuated over the years, Everett has remained the one constant presence, much like Mike Scott in The Waterboys or Matt Johnson in The The. Some of the names (or rather nicknames) of those other band members deserve some recognition. Look at these:

• The Chet
• Koool G Murder
• P-Boo
• Knuckles
• Big/Krazy/Tiny/Honest/Upright/Royal Al
• Butch

Take note OTT. That’s how you do nicknames! As for this performance, what was all that with the toy instruments all about? Apparently, they hadn’t told anyone they were going to smash them up at the end – was it meant to be a send up of The Who or someone like that? It wasn’t really working for me until they all did the little bow at the end which turned it from childish to comic.

Got it! ‘E’ reminds me of this guy. It’s E for Epithemiou!

U2 are, along with Depeche Mode, that other band with amazing longevity and this week, rather predictably what with being the biggest band in the world and all, at No 1. “Discothèque” is the song they gave them their third chart topper after “Desire” in 1988 and “The Fly” in 1991. It may have been the band’s third hit to get to the pinnacle but for the record buying public it was the sixth different No 1 single in as many weeks. Was it devaluing that achievement? It felt like it to me but then I was working from inside the trend in a record shop so was looking at it from a business perspective. Kind of sums up this Valentine’s Day show – all very business like with little romance in the air.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Mansun	She Makes My Nose Bleed	No but I had their album
2	Mark Owen	Clementine	Nah
3	Blue Boy	Remember Me	Yes – I bought the 12″ for my wife
4	OTT	Let Me In	No chance
5	Apollo Four Forty	Ain’t Talkin’ ‘bout Dub	Nope
6	Depeche Mode	Barrel Of A Gun	I did not
7	No Mercy	Where Do You Go	Never
8	Eels	Novocaine For The Soul	No but I had it on one of those Best Album Ever compilations
9	U2	Discothèque	No

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026zt9/top-of-the-pops-14021997?seriesId=unsliced