This particular TOTP was broadcast a day after one of the most bizarre football matches ever was played and it involved my beloved Chelsea. Having won the FA Cup for the first time in 27 years the previous season, the blues were in the European Cup Winners Cup competition in the 1997/98 campaign. In the second round they were drawn against Norwegian side Tromsø with the first leg away at the home of the most northerly top-flight team in the world, deep within the Artic Circle. As the game started, the pitch looked atrocious and Tromsø soon raced into a 2-0 lead. Worse was to come though as a snowstorm hit at halftime bringing with it massive flurries and causing the match to be stopped twice in the second half so ground staff could clear snow off the pitch to allow line markings to remain visible. Chelsea manager Ruud Gullit spent the entire second half arguing with UEFA officials beseeching them to abandon the game. However, it transpired that they were under pressure to get the match completed at all costs due to scheduling issues and play continued. In the end, the game finished 3-2 to Tromsø with Gianluca Vialli scoring two late goals for the blues as he skated through the home defence displaying a sureness of foot that Robin Cousins would have struggled to pull off. In the return leg, Chelsea put Tromsø to the sword to progress in the competition which they ultimately would win the following May. That away game in Tromsø though is still talked about as one of the most farcical games of professional football ever to have taken place. There surely couldn’t be any musical equivalent on this TOTP to rival its preposterous nature could there?

Well, the very first image that hits our screens is, if not entirely ludicrous, then random at best. The Spice Girls rather than the presenter do the “it’s still No 1” intro and they are joined by a camel for the clip. Yep, a camel. Perfectly normal staging. It turns out that the girls are in New Delhi, India for the Channel V Awards where they won gongs for best international song and best international album (hence the camel) and we’ll be seeing them later in the show as *SPOILER ALERT* they have this week’s new No 1. With the intro delivered we’re straight into the tunes and…well, this is really quite perverse. We open the show with Tina Moore and her hit “Never Gonna Let You Go”. This is the fourth time she’s been on the show! The fourth! Her first appearance was way back on the 29th August – that’s nearly two whole months previous! How is this possible?! Let’s have a look at her hit’s chart performance during that time to see if we can make any sense of it. Here are its chart numbers up to this point:

7 – 11 – 9 – 12 – 9 – 11 – 11 – 17 – 15

That seems an awful lot of exposure for a hit that never got any higher than No 7. Sure, it was durable, selling consistently though not spectacularly but this last appearance was presumably justified because it had moved up two places to No 15, even though that was its second lowest chart position to that point. And more than that, they’ve used the same performance every single time – the double denim, transparent stage, minimal dancing shot from underneath performance! It seemed executive producer Chris Cowey really couldn’t let Tina Moore go!

Continuing the Scandinavian theme, we travel from Norway to Denmark and arrive at one of the most annoying and yes, preposterous hits of the decade – it can only be “Barbie Girl” by Aqua. So what was all this about? Was it just a silly pop song that poked some fun at the best selling toy in history or was it a social comment on negative body image issues raised by the unrealistic figures the Barbie dolls were designed with? Well, here’s a small film with the story behind the song supposedly:

Why does the narrator insist on calling them ‘Arkwa’? Anyway, make your own minds up. What isn’t in doubt is the song’s success. A global No 1 with worldwide sales of eight million, it went four times platinum in the UK alone being the second best selling single of 1997 here behind “Candle In The Wind ‘97”. It will be our chart topper for four weeks so I’ll leave it there for now except to say do you think the young guy in the studio audience has recovered yet from his close encounter with singer Lene Nystrøm when she playfully grabs his face. I bet he’s dined out on that story for years. Conversely, I’m willing to wager that the young lady who had a similar experience with male vocalist René Dif across the other side of the studio has never spoken about it since.

By the way, tonight’s host is Jo Whiley and the fact that she’s had to introduce Aqua I do find amusing given her serious music pretensions. She dismisses “Barbie Girl” as music for those who find “The Teletubbies an intellectual challenge”. A bit unnecessary that. Anyway, the next band is much more her thing as we get Ash with “A Life Less Ordinary”. Established as mega-successful chart stars by this point after a two year period that saw them rack up four hit singles and a No 1 platinum selling album, a song on a movie soundtrack probably seemed like the next logical step for the band. Not only that but the film that soundtrack came from (also called A Life Less Ordinary) was directed by Danny Boyle who had just had enormous success with Trainspotting the year before and Shallow Grave in 1994. The former movie had spawned a massive selling soundtrack so Ash must have thought they’d hit the jackpot by being so obviously associated with Boyle’s next project. It didn’t quite work out as maybe they’d envisioned though. Whilst their title track to the film would secure them a third consecutive Top 10 hit, the film itself was a huge disappointment after its two predecessors both commercially and critically. Starring Ewan McGregor (completing a hat-trick of Boyle films) and Cameron Diaz, the plot about angels on earth helping a kidnapper and his hostage fall in love just didn’t strike the right chord with audiences. Neither did the soundtrack which didn’t sell in anywhere near the same quantities as Trainspotting despite including contributions from artists like The Cardigans, Beck, REM and Faithless. I’m sure we had a massive overstock of it in the Our Price where I was working. I thought I’d watched the film at the cinema but if I did, I’ve blanked it from my memory as nothing about its plot sounds familiar.

As for Ash’s song, it was OK I thought though it always gave me the impression that a “that’ll do” approach from the band had been applied – certainly not one of their best. I think it’s significant though as it’s the first release to feature Charlotte Hatherley as a full time band member who, in this performance, looked like one of those pale and interesting girls that wouldn’t have looked twice at the very ordinary me during my youth.

Jo Whiley adopts a pretentious, pseudo- religious angle in her intro to the next artist. “Welcome to the church of rare groove and the priest of high fashion. Pray silence for the gospel according to the Brand New Heavies” she witters on. WTF are you talking about Jo?! Despite attempts to make it look like the band are in the studio, the fade up cut away reveals that it’s just a repeat airing of their first performance of “You’ve Got A Friend” from the other week. Executive producer Chris Cowey was very keen on recycling studio performances – indeed, it was something of a trend with him. Quite why he needed to try and disguise what it was though I’m not sure. I don’t think the watching TV audience would have been offended if Jo had just said “Here’s a clip from a previous show of the Brand New Heavies” instead of banging on about churches, high priests and the gospel. Less of the heavy stuff and remember that you’ve got a friend in the British public Jo*

*Actually, I couldn’t stand her at the time.

Jo continues to make herself look silly in her next segue as she calls the guy on stage the future of rock ‘n’ roll or something. He would, in fact, turn out to be a one hit wonder. Welcome to the curious case of Jimmy Ray. You’d be excused for not remembering this guy – I barely do and I was working in a record shop selling his single. On initial examination, this seems to be a simple story of the over promotion of a flawed record company idea – let’s reinvent rock ‘n’ roll by going back to its roots and having our face of the campaign look like a 50s throwback (© Vic Reeves, Shooting Stars, 1997). However, there might have been more to this whole saga than meets the eye. For a start, Jimmy Ray (actually his real name for once) had started out as part of techno-pop outfit AV alongside one Graham Drinnan who’d had a minor chart entry as Gypsy in 1996 with “I Trance You (Remixes)”. After AV split without releasing any material, he was somehow picked up by Simon Fuller who put the Spice Girls together (how random is that?) and then linked up with a guy called Conall Fitzpatrick who’d written Shampoo’s hit “Trouble”. Together they came up with the song “Are You Jimmy Ray?”. In truth, there’s not a lot to it – a 50s style guitar riff reminiscent of Bo Diddley’s “Mona” (though many might have known it from Craig McLachlan’s 1990 cover) allied to lyrics that name check various random people just because they are phonetically similar to the surname ‘Ray’. Ah yes, names. This track was all about names and most importantly that of Jimmy Ray himself – a clever bit of self promotion really, taking the ‘Who is Tasmin Archer?’ poster campaign to its logical next step. Indeed, Ray himself has wondered if Fitzpatrick was influenced by some London graffiti that had appeared around this time asking the question “Who is Christian Goldman?’*

*Supposedly Christian Goldman was a US producer and the graffiti part of a campaign for his “Happy Days” single.

Aside from referencing King Kong actress Fay Wray, American 50s singer Johnnie Ray (already immortalised in 80s pop culture by “Come On Eileen”) and fictional French detective Maigret, there also a lyric which is both juvenile and unnecessary…

“I’ve gotta let it out, there’s somethin’ in my jeans“

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Conall Ronan Fitzpatrick / James Ray
Are You Jimmy Ray? lyrics © Island Music Ltd., Mca Music Ltd., Sony Music Publishing (uk) Ltd, Wixen Music Uk Ltd, Wixen Music (uk) Ltd

Hmm. I’ve seen it spelt online as ‘genes’ in which case it’s just clever wordplay rather than obvious innuendo or I’ve completely misunderstood what was going on there.

The single was a hit going to No 13 in both the UK and the US but Jimmy would have no further success despite him looking the part – he was more Charlie Sexton crossed with Gene Vincent than Shakin’ Stevens. Subsequent singles all missed the Top 40 and his album remained unreleased in this country. Apparently, Jimmy is still in the music business of sorts and last released new material in 2017. I wonder how many people have actually asked him “Are you Jimmy Ray?” recently though?

From the 50s to the 70s now (yes, I kind of nicked that link from Jo Whiley) as we find Clock doing their hateful update of the Hot Chocolate classic “You Sexy Thing” retitled as “U Sexy Thing”. Again, this was just a reshowing of a previous performance and was justified by this ghastly record going up one place from No 12 to No 11, a move assisted I’m guessing by only a small number of entries into the Top 10 in this week (Brand New Heavies were similarly aided by moving from No 11 to No 9 this week resulting in their second appearance on the show).

In 2004, vocalist Lorna Saunders appeared in the ‘identity parade’ section of Never Mind The Buzzcocks when it was revealed that she had left the music industry and was working as a legal secretary (she subsequently went on to become a lawyer). The other guest in the ‘identity parade’ that episode? Benny Anderwear from ABBA tribute Björn Again which was apt. No, not as it maintains this post’s Scandinavian theme but because Clock were pants.

Once again, I’m not quite sure what Jo Whiley is on about in her next intro when she describes US band Smash Mouth as being “from San Jose, California via the casinos of Wigan. It’s Northern Soul with an American accent”. Now, I’m no Northern Soul aficionado (in fact I know bugger all about the movement really) but I would never have described this lot as Northern Soul. A touch of ska yes, power pop maybe but Northern Soul? Never occurred to me. Wikipedia tells me that the band have a penchant for cover versions but looking at the list of other people’s songs they’ve attempted, none of them appear to be by Northern Soul artists. Is it possible then that Jo has just got this one wrong?

The band have only had two hits in this country of which “Walkin’ On The Sun” was the first peaking at No 19. Written as a reaction to the Rodney King beatings and the 1992 LA riots following the acquittal of three of the police officers involved, it chugs along in a pleasing fashion propelled by that organ sound that drew comparisons with “She’s Not There” by The Zombies. Parallels were also drawn with another band which I somehow must have failed to notice at the time but listening back to Smash Mouth now is completely obvious – The Doors. That Hammond organ that Ray Manzarek played so distinctively but updated for the 90s? How did I miss that?

It would take two years for a follow up hit to arrive in the form of “All Star” which sounded even better than its predecessor to me and which I duly bought. Handily, it had “Walkin’ On The Sun” as an extra track on the CD single. The band then seemed to carve out a niche career supplying songs for the original Shrek movie with both “All Star” and the band’s version of “I’m A Believer” made famous by The Monkees featuring on its soundtrack. Smash Mouth are still together though only bass player Paul De Lisle remains from the original line up. Singer Steve Harwell died in 2021 from liver failure following years of struggling with alcoholism.

The time of “ Candle In The Wind ‘97” is over! We have a new No 1! Hallelujah! Oh, it’s by the Spice Girls though. Never mind. Going against the performance of their previous four chart toppers, “Spice Up Your Life” will only be No 1 for one week! Sadly, then it’ll be deposed by “Barbie Girl”. Oh.

So, with this release, the Spice Girls made history by dint of their first five singles going to the top of the charts. I’m guessing its shortest of tenures at No 1 may have ruffled a few feathers at Spice World HQ though. Ah yes, Spice World. Apparently, the single was recorded in between shooting their movie which may account for it sounding a bit rushed. I mean, you can’t deny its energy but it’s all a bit muddled and has a throw-the-kitchen-sink feel to it. Supposedly written as a global rally cry for all of humanity, its lyrics instead manage to just name check a load of dance styles including flamenco, lambada, the foxtrot, polka and salsa. Then there’s the potentially racist “yellow man in Timbuktu” line which received criticism even back then. As for its title, as with Jimmy Ray earlier, there’s a huge dose of self promotion going on (as if they needed any more!). Finally, it’s actually not that far from “Wannabe” with its exhortations to “slam it to the left” and “shake it to the right” echoing “slam your body down and wind it all around”. Musically, it jumps on the Latin pop bandwagon that Ricky Martin and No Mercy had already had success with in this year. The single received mixed reviews in the press and I for one wasn’t impressed.

After ultimately losing out to Aqua, the link between Barbie and “Spice Up Your Life” was renewed some 26 years later when it featured in the hit movie of the same name starring Margot Robbie although it didn’t actually make it onto the soundtrack album.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Tina Moore	Never Gonna Let You Go	Nope
2	Aqua	Barbie Girl	Definitely no
3	Ash	A Life Less Ordinary	Negative
4	Brand New Heavies	You’ve Got A Friend	No
5	Jimmy Ray	Are You Jimmy Ray?	Nah
6	Clock	U Sexy Thing	As if
7	Smash Mouth	Walkin’ On The Sun	No but it was an extra track on ‘Allstar” which I did buy
8	Spice Girls	Spice Up Your Life	I did not

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002b252/top-of-the-pops-24101997?seriesId=unsliced