This particular TOTP was broadcast on a very unusual date. Written as 19-11-1999, all the numbers are odd. The next all odd numbers day will be 1-1-3111 assuming quantified time still exists then. Just to even things up as it were, there was an even numbers day on 2-2-2000 which was the first one since 8-28-888! I wonder if any of the artists in the show have a connection with numbers (odd or even) apart from the obvious of chart positions and sales figures.

Our host is Gail Porter and we start with last week’s No 1 from Geri Halliwell. Yes, after all that fuss the previous week about the battle of who would top the chart between Geri and ex-band mate Emma Bunton, “Lift Me Up” is already down to No 4 after just seven days as we have a new No 1. So old hat is it after just a week that we don’t even get a new performance just a repeat of the first one. I posited the opinion in the last post that the track may not have been worthy of being a No 1 record which is, on the one hand, an asinine position to adopt as it garnered more sales than any other song that week and so was at the top of the charts by demonstrable merit. On the other though, the whole notion of judging the quality of records by how many copies they sell is ludicrous and the concept of a chart to rank them absurd. If we accept that hypothesis then we also believe in subjective musical taste which makes my original opinion of unworthiness perfectly sound and reasonable. It is based on the belief that “Lift Me Up” itself is a passable ballad but the issue with it is that Halliwell couldn’t really sing it properly. Tracks like her debut single “Look At Me” allowed her to almost speak the lyrics but there was no hiding place in a ballad with a soaring, uplifting chorus. Mind you, Mel C was always perceived as having the best singing voice of the Spice Girls and her latest song is criminally bad.

Numbers connection: During the height of her solo career, Geri notably wore a red string bracelet—a key practice in Kabbalah that assigns mystical and spiritual significance to numbers. 

“I’m sure this band’s album will be filling a lot of stockings this Christmas. With their fourth hit from “The Man Who”, this is Travis” says Gail Porter in her intro to the next act and she was right on both points. I’ve told the tale before of how “The Man Who” saved the Our Price chain from going to the wall (allegedly) over the festive season of 1999. Such was its selling power that the buying department had to source copies of it from abroad which meant that the stock had some odd promotional stickers on it when it arrived in store. And yes, “Turn” was the fourth single taken from it. The FOURTH! There’s an interview where Noel and Liam Gallagher are talking about releasing “Cigarettes And Alcohol” as the fourth single from “Definitely Maybe” and Noel admits he wasn’t sure it was a good idea but then it became their then biggest hit when it charted.

I mention this as I wonder if there were similar reservations within the Travis camp about putting a fourth single into the shops. If so, they needn’t have worried as, just like Oasis, “Turn” became their highest charting single to this point when it peaked at No 8. Unlike their previous hits like “Driftwood” and “Why Does It Always Rain On Me”, this track was a heavier sound, almost anthemic you might say. In fact, it wouldn’t have sounded out of place on their rockier debut album “Good Feeling”. It’s a real slow builder but the pay off is worth it when you get there with hook of the chorus amplified by that guitar twang after the final “turn”. I don’t think I’d realised before that one of the verses is actually sung by bass player Dougie Payne and not Fran Healy or maybe they were messing around with vocal roles for the performance just like Oasis did for their TOTP run through of “Roll With It”. Travis would release their third album “The Invisible Band” in 2001 which, though it couldn’t match the commercial performance of “The Man Who”, still went a none too shabby four times platinum in the UK.

Numbers connection: Travis have released an album called “12 Memories” and one called “10 Songs”.

Here’s Riiiiicky! Yes, after a ‘new’ and indeed ‘exclusive” performance two weeks prior, Ricky Martin has banged into the charts with “Shake Your Bon-Bon” at…well…a rather underwhelming No 12 actually. It must have been a concern for Ricky, his label and his management after “Livin’ La Vida Loca” had been one of the biggest hits of 1999. Maybe it was deserved and the disappointment of the follow up had to be swallowed down as it was quite the stinker. The lyrics alone were awful, not just for the dreadful rhyming couplets but also because they were so inappropriate. If you thought ‘I’m a desperado, underneath your window, I see your silhouette, are you my Juliet?” was bad, how about rhyming ‘Himalayas’ with ‘I wanna lay ya’? Then there’s Ricky himself with his camcorder focusing in on the arses of his backing dancers. Really? Finally, surely a Bon-bon is a sweet not a backside? That would be a booty no? I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not prepared to turn the other cheek on this one.

Numbers connection: In 2012, a different Ricky Martin won Series 8 of The Apprentice, a TV show where the contestants are notoriously useless at formulating the financial predictions for their business plans and seem to have zero knowledge of the concept of profit and loss.

In early 2000, when I left my job of nearly a decade working in records shops, I struggled to adapt to my new life as a civil servant. The culture shock was seismic. However, one benefit that hadn’t figured in my decision-making but which I was grateful for was that I didn’t have to be involved in the rise and rise of A1. Yes, although “Everytime” was their third hit out of three releases and their biggest so far when it peaked at No 3, they had yet to reach their…dare I call it an ‘imperial phase’? Two consecutive No 1s and a No 2 arrived in the new millennium by which time I’d long since stopped following the charts and so could ignore their claims to be one of the biggest boybands around.

However, I couldn’t avoid this one which, inevitably, was a soppy ballad what with it being the third single as decreed by the 90s pop blueprint. Gail Porter bigs up their musicianship credentials in her intro by saying they play their own instruments but there’s only the guy on the piano as evidence of that here. There are screams aplenty for designated heartthrob Ben and his daft curtains hairstyle but it’s a lot of fuss about nothing as far as I’m concerned.

Numbers connection: A1? That’ll do won’t it? That’s more than they deserve.

After A1 have done their thing, we get an odd segue from the disembodied voice of Gail Porter which sounds like it was recorded in a BBC toilet rather than the Elstree studios and then were into the Will Smith video for “Will 2K” and, as usual, he introduces it himself with a personal message to camera. As with Ricky Martin earlier, we saw this weeks ago but it’s on again this time as it has debuted on the chart at No 2.

I checked on the excellent TOTP Archive website and it transpires that Will Smith never actually appeared in person at the BBC studio (either under his own name or The Fresh Prince persona) with all his performances either being the official promo video or from a completely separate venue via satellite. I presume he was too busy with his own filming schedules to hop over to the UK – from 1993 to 1999 he appeared in eight feature films. After all, that was one of the original purposes of the music video art form, to allow an artist to appear on promotional shows even if they couldn’t be there in person. Even so, 22 appearances over the years and not one trip to the studio does seem a bit like a smack in the mouth for the TOTP producers. Mind, he’s good at that isn’t he?

Numbers connection: In the 2015 film The Focus, Smith plays a con artist who bets millions against a billionaire. He has his partner randomly pick a football player’s jersey number from the field. If the billionaire chooses the same random player, Smith wins. If not, he loses everything. Unbeknownst to the victim, Smith spent the entire day priming him, subtly flashing the number 55 on posters, clothes and in music to guarantee that was the number he would choose.

After Scottish guitar band Travis earlier, here come some more Celtic rockers but this time from Wales. Now if Travis were pushing their luck with a fourth single released from their album, Stereophonics were possibly taking the piss by lifting “Hurry Up And Wait” as the fifth single from “Performance And Cocktails”. The FIFTH! This was approaching Michael Jackson territory!

I’m guessing this was down to their record label who surely wanted a single out as Christmas loomed to re-promote their artist’s album which had been out for nearly nine months by this point. For me though, it was easily the weakest of those five singles. A decent album track, that’s how it should have remained and I say that’s as someone who had “Performance And Cocktails”. What was more interesting though was the extra track on the CD single which was a cover of “Angie” by the Rolling Stones. They would return to cover versions in 2001 with their take on “Handbags And Gladrags”, a song which was already enjoying a high profile as the theme tune to The Office which was first broadcast that year.

Coincidentally, the aforementioned Travis also had a cover version as an extra track on their single…

Numbers connection: Their track “I Got Your Number” from their album “Scream Above the Sounds” heavily features a counting sequence (“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You told me lies right to my face. I’ve got your number…”)

SUPERSTAR KLAXON! Prince is in the house (well, the studio – take note Will Smith!) except he isn’t as Prince didn’t exist at this time as he was still going under the moniker of an unpronounceable symbol aka The Artist Formerly Known As Prince aka The Artist and it’s the final nomenclature that Gail Porter uses in her intro. And he is actually there within a few feet of her not thousands of miles away being beamed into our living rooms via satellite. Wow!

So why was he there? Well, to promote something obviously which in November 1999 was his 23rd studio album “Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic” from which this track “Baby Knows” was taken. But here’s the thing – that song was never released as a single in the UK. According to the princevault.com website, it was available as a promotional release in Holland only. Given that, why did he turn up in person here to give exposure to a product we couldn’t buy? Yes, the album was out but UK audiences were definitely and defiantly not interested in Prince albums at this time shown by the album’s peak of No 145 over here. His last Top 10 album had been 1995’s “The Gold Experience” which included the No 1 “The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” but there was no such big hit for this album. In fact, the only single released from it was “The Greatest Romance Ever Sold” in October which had peaked at No 65. So why was Prince here now doing promotional duties in a country that was largely ignoring him? Apparently, it was part of a strategy to focus on Europe over the US in an attempt to increase his appeal in that territory but it seems flawed given the resulting sales. I can’t really understand the logic of promoting in the UK a single that could only be bought in Holland.

As for the song itself, it’s OK. A typical Prince funk work out that reminds me of “Cream” a bit but as a hook to hang the album on, it didn’t feel like it would bear much weight. Prince, as ever, is the consummate showman in this performance. I do like Prince – who doesn’t? – but my issue with him is the amount of material he turned out. There still loads in the Paisley Park vaults they’re still discovering isn’t there? With that volume of work, it couldn’t all be ‘A’ standard surely? That said, you can’t deny his legacy and standing as a musical legend so maybe ignore my previous comment eh?

Number connection: Prince on a show with a broadcast date of 19/11/1999? C’mon – this shizzle writes itself!

There’s another new No 1 (of course there is – this was 1999) and it’s from that man again – it’s Robbie Williams with his second chart topper following “Millennium” in 1998. Now, although the song that got all the airplay and which Robbie performs here was “She’s The One”, the single itself was actually a double A-side* with the new track “It’s Only Us”.

*I failed to mention it earlier but this was actually the second double A-side release featured on this particular show as A1’s “Everytime” was buddied up with “Ready Or Not” but frankly, who cares?

“She’s The One” is, of course, a cover version. The original was by the excellent World Party though I can’t be sure if I knew that at the time. One person who certainly didn’t was my Robbie loving younger sister who was amazed when, years later, I played her the original and she discovered that the Williams version was almost exactly the same. Given that and acknowledging that Karl Wallinger’s outfit only ever had two Top 40 hits and none bigger than No 19, it feels unfair that it took the gurning Williams to make it the hit it deserved to be all along.

Yes, that’s right, gurning. His performance here employs all his mannerisms and ticks that were starting to grate by now. The knowing nod that said “Yes, worship me. It’s what I deserve” and the cocky little spin of his microphone that articulated “Look at me, I can do anything and everything”. Was there nobody around him to put him back in his box at this point? Well, yes. There was his journeyman drummer Chris Sharrock who’d played with everyone from the Icicle Works to The La’s to The Lightning Seeds and crucially World Party on the album that “She’s The One” came from! He was in a perfect position to tell him to stay humble! I wish they’d shown the video with the ice skating plot instead as it’s actually quite endearing with the Barry Davies commentary and the line “difficult for the one looking on”.

As for “It’s Only Us”, I couldn’t actually tell you what it sounded like. Hang on…

Hmm. It’s not all that is it? Apparently, it was used as the theme for the computer game FIFA 2000 (hence all the computer graphics in the video) and therefore wasn’t on the “I’ve Been Expecting You” album. It’s almost a forgotten Robbie Williams hit in retrospect and perhaps that’s for the best. To give him credit, he’s still very much a recording artist 27 years and 10 more studio albums later with the latest being released in January of this year. Maybe he was the one after all.

Numbers connection: Robbie Williams has been open about having dyscalculia and experiences real anxiety dealing with numerical concepts, struggling with simple tasks like calculating restaurant tips.

Order of appearance	Artist	Title	Did I buy it?
1	Geri Halliwell	Lift Me Up	Nah
2	Travis	Turn	No
3	Ricky Martin	Shake Your Bon-Bon	Negative
4	A1	Every time / Ready Or Not	Never
5	Will Smith	Will 2K	Nope
6	Stereophonics	Hurry Up And Wait	No but I had the album
7	Prince (or whatever)	Baby Knows	N/A
8	Robbie Williams	She’s The One / It’s Only Us	And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wz4c/top-of-the-pops-19111999