TOTP 22 OCT 1999

The TOTP Tour is officially over as the renovations to the BBC Elstree studios have now been completed and the show is back in its official home. Host Jamie Theakston makes a half-hearted attempt at a skit to mark the event and then we’re into the music. Apart from one ‘new’ exclusive performance from a legendary name, every hit in this episode comes from within the Top 10. Was that a good thing or not? On the one hand, the programme was showcasing the biggest selling, most popular songs of the time so wasn’t that giving music fans what they wanted? On the other, was it becoming a closed shop, excluding anything further down the charts and thus helping to stultify the rest of the Top 40 by denying potentially bigger songs the oxygen of exposure? A closer inspection of the chart that week reveals that there were indeed seven new entries outside of the Top 10* (plus one re-entry) and four inside it. Significantly, there was only one song going up the charts which perhaps restricted the choice of hits to be feature on the show. Perhaps.

*One of which was “Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?” by Moby from his all conquering “Play” album. Executive producer Chris Cowey not exactly following the zeitgeist there.

So, which were the three songs inside the Top 10 that didn’t make the running order?

  • “Two Times” by Ann Lee. Holding at No 2. On TOTP the previous week.
  • “Blue (Dab Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65. Down from No 3 to No 4. On TOTP three weeks on the trot.
  • “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” by Shania Twain. Down from No 6 to No 10. On TOTP twice.

OK. So firstly, they’re all horrible but secondly, apart from potentially Ann Lee, I can see why they weren’t featured on this show but what of the other seven hits in the Top 10 that were? Four were new entries (fair enough), one was the No 1 (double fair enough), one was the only single moving up the charts (can’t argue with that) BUT…one was going down the chart from No. 4 to No 8! What gives?

Well, all in good time but we start with the only record that was climbing which was “I Try” by Macy Gray. This one was really ascending in instalments. After debuting at No 10, it spent a second week there before inching its way to No 9 in this chart. After a further hop up of one place to No 8 it would make it to No 7 where it stayed for three weeks before yet another one place climb to a high of No 6 before one final week inside the Top 10 at No 9. That totalled over two months between No 10 and No 6 without ever making it into the Top 5. Even its descent out of the Top 40 took a further nine weeks which included two occasions when it reversed its fall and went back up the charts! As first week discounting by record companies on new release singles kicked in towards the end of the 90s, it felt like every hit was in and out of the charts within a fortnight. Slow burners like “I Try” (and a few others) offered evidence that wasn’t exclusively the case. However, it could also be argued that such examples were the exception that proved the rule – witness Macy Gray being the only artist moving up the charts this week.

Next to that song sliding down the charts but which was given a slot in the running order anyway. Was there anything to be said in defence of Chris Cowey’s decision here? Well, actually there was and it came from the mouth of host Jamie Theakston who rather patronisingly says in his intro to “Jesse Hold On” by B*Witched that “Little Keavey was ill last week bless her so she couldn’t make it on tour to Swansea but she’s back on her feet now…”. Oh OK, so the group should have been on last week when they debuted at No 4 which would have made sense and there was a genuine reason why they weren’t but…does this incident reveal more about the machinations of the TOTP selection process than we were previously aware of? Is this evidence of binding agreements between the show and artists’ management/record labels when it came to appearances? If you could literally provide a sick note then your booking would still apply for the following week regardless of where your record was in the charts? Like tickets for a concert still being valid if said gig was unexpectedly cancelled? Seems a bit rum to me.

Anyway, this delayed appearance by B*Witched didn’t stop “Jesse Hold On” from falling down the charts again the following week from No 8 to No 13 (though it did stay in that position for a second week). The perceived wisdom is that this is where it all started to fall apart for the group and I don’t think that’s an unfair assessment. Much in the same way that Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s spell over us broke when their “Welcome To The Pleasuredome” single failed to top the charts after three successive No 1s, so B*Witched’s…well…bewitching power over the record buying public began to wane when “Jesse Hold On” couldn’t reach the chart summit. Not that a No 4 hit should be dismissed but how else could anyone view it other than a step backwards?

So why did it not go to No 1 like the rest of the group’s releases? Had their cheeky Irish appeal worn off? Had pop music tastes changed so quickly already? I think the answer might be more straightforward – “Jesse Hold On” just wasn’t that good. In effect, it was a retread of “C’est La Vie” but instead of that Irish fiddle hook it had a banjo being picked and a C&W vibe. Whilst undeniably catchy, it didn’t have that same grab-you-by-your-ears effect. Sure, there’s some nice harmonising in the chorus but it somehow feels elongated and repetitive. In short, it just wasn’t as punchy – not so much “fight like me Da” more “have a reasonable discussion like me Ma”.

It also didn’t lend itself to that knockout image of double denim and Irish dance steps. This time there were sparkly, sleeveless crop tops with a bit of C&W fringing and some hip wiggling and half-arsed lassoing arm movements. It just didn’t have the same impact. Their sophomore album “Awake And Breathe” also suffered from diminishing returns selling half the amount of their debut. Neither of its two subsequent singles even made the Top 10. The time of B*Witched (at least their first incarnation) was coming to an end.

OK. I get the whole “don’t fix it if it ain’t broken” concept when it comes to chart hits and a successful formula but ATB were taking a liberty. “Don’t Stop” IS “9PM (Till I Come)” isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?! Sorry, went a bit Bobby Robson there when he was asked about Diego Maradona’s ‘Hand of God’ goal…

Go to 3:04

Anyway, rip off or not, the UK record buying public lapped it up sending it to No 3 in the charts after import copies sales had already sent it to No 61 four months earlier. With my decaying eyesight, on first glance I thought that was Fay Tozer from Steps who’s fronting this appearance but it’s not. I’m guessing that’s Yolanda Rivera who was also the featured artist on “9PM (Till I Come)” – see what I mean about just repeating the formula? I’m really not sure why she needs a mic strapped to her head though as there are hardly any words in the track. Looks like a case of overkill whilst the track is as appetising as roadkill.

Just like B*Witched, here was another all female group who were coming to the end of the line (ahem). Honeyz were onto their fourth consecutive Top 10 hit with “Never Let You Down” and there would be another one early in the new year and yet…despite all five hits coming from their album “Wonder No. 8”, they couldn’t shift huge numbers of it in the shops. It would eventually achieve gold status but never got higher than No 33 in the charts. Was that reliance on hit singles a hinderance to their plans for longevity? If you’re only as good as your last single without a backbone of healthy album sales behind you, were you always just one flop away from the dumper?

I’m also wondering if the change in line up with original member Heavenli Abdi replaced by Mariami Goodman had a destabilising effect similar to when Jacquie O’Sullivan replaced Siobahn Fahey in Bananarama? I don’t think that particular incarnation of the group was ever really accepted by the fans so was it a similar as with Honeyz or am I overstating the case there? Were people really invested enough in Honeyz to care or were the members interchangeable? After all, Bananarama had been going for six years by the time Siobhan left. Honeyz? Barely 12 months.

Although “Never Let You Down” was yet another polished R&B pop number, it was hardly anything unexpected and indeed reminds me of Eternal’s 1994 hit “Oh Baby I” Peddling a sound which was five years old in 1999 maybe wasn’t the best strategy. As with B*Witched, although they would appear in TOTP subsequently, this is the last time I’ll be reviewing them in this blog. Farewell both.

It’s that cover by Liam Gallagher and Steve Craddock of The Jam’s “Carnation” again next which we saw just two shows ago as an exclusive performance. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s entered the charts at No 6 – that seemed quite high for a song by a band who had split up 17 years before but then The Jam Army and the Weller disciples were a loyal bunch. Of course, a reunion was what was really wanted by the fanbase but as that was never on the cards then the next best thing was the chance of grabbing, if not new material by their heroes, at least new interpretations of their work. Plus there’s the Oasis faithful who would have wanted to own it for Liam’s involvement. Clearly though it was going to be a quick sales phenomenon and the double A-side (alongside Buffalo Tom’s take on “Going Underground”) duly dropped out of the Top 40 in three weeks.

Ah, there’s Faye Tozer along with the rest of Steps who have entered the charts at No 5 with their latest single “After The Love Has Gone”. Not a cover of the Earth, Wind & Fire classic nor even of the definitely not a classic 1985 hit for Princess, this was, just like B*Witched earlier, an attempt to return to the sound which originally brought the band success. No, not that sound. Not the line dancing, boot scootin’ nonsense of “5,6,7,8” but the faux ABBA hits that came after it. There’s an undeniable whiff of the Swedish superstars in this one and whilst it certainly worked well enough to maintain the group’s high end chart momentum, it did break their run of three No 2s and one No 1 that they’d achieved with their last four releases. Cause for concern? Probably not. They still had plenty of hits left in them including another chart topper but as with B*Witched and Honeyz earlier, I won’t be around to review them.

I’ve said this before but Lee Latchford-Evans and ‘H’ must have had the flimsiest pop star job descriptions in music history. Just learn this release’s required dance steps and grin inanely whenever the camera comes near you. They’re like sign language translators* on speed.

*With apologies to sign language translators.

Tina Turner was still having hits in late 1999? Well, she was but like a few artists on this particular TOTP, it was all coming to an end. Talking of which, a wish the little chat she had with Jamie Theakston pre-performance had come to an end sooner. It did neither person involved any favours. Anyway, without a Top 10 hit in the UK since 1995’s Bond theme “Goldeneye”, Tina turned to the people behind her peer Cher’s recent commercial resurgence. Mark Taylor and Brian Rawling had produced the all conquering “Believe” and you can hear their touch on “When The Heartache Is Over” which was the lead single from her tenth and final studio album “Twenty Four Seven”. In truth though, it was never going to have the impact of “Believe”, neither in sales nor culturally. However, it was a sizeable hit on the US Dance charts thanks to its numerous remixes on the 12” released in that territory.

Tina gives her usual performance of gusto and jerky dance movements here but I was more interested in why Jessie Wallace/Kat Slater was one of the backing dancers and why Father Ted was on the drums. Tina retired from touring in 2009 aged 69 to live a quiet life in Switzerland until her death in 2023.

Christina Aguilera remains at No 1 with “Genie In Bottle”. Now, clearly I’m not Jamie Theakston’s biggest fan but something he says in his intro struck a chord with me. “And I thought genies came in lamps” he quips but he’s right – the established perception of a genie comes from the tale of Aladdin based on a Middle Eastern folk tale associated with The Arabian Knights (though it wasn’t part of the original text but rather added by Frenchman Antoine Galland). The story depicts Aladdin being tricked by a sorcerer to retrieve a magic oil lamp from a cave. When the lamp is rubbed, the genie is released. That’s a lamp not a bottle. Bottles have nothing to do with it. Indeed, in modern parlance and to reuse the theme of football managers in press conferences, bottles signify something that isn’t special and certainly not magical. Here’s Jose Mourinho when he was with my beloved Chelsea the first time in 2004…

So who wrote this nonsense about genies in bottles? Wikipedia tells me that a Steve Kipner was one of the co-writers and that he received an Ivor Novello award for International Hit of the Year for it. Clearly the judges weren’t aware of The Arabian Knights then.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1Macy GrayI TryLiked it, didn’t buy it
2B*WitchedJesse Hold OnNo thanks
3ATBDon’t StopNo – please do!
4Honeyz Never Let You DownNo
5Liam Gallagher and Steve Craddock / Buffalo TomCarnation / Going UndergroundNegative
6StepsAfter The Love Has GoneI did not
7Tina TurnerWhen The Heartache Is OverNope
8Christina AguileraGenie In A BottleNah

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wbq6/top-of-the-pops-22101999

TOTP 02 JUL 1999

We’re halfway through these BBC4 1999 TOTP repeats which means I’m officially in the home straight with this blog which will end with the 90s and there will be no TOTP Rewind the 2000s. Also coming to an end back in 1999 was my time working for Our Price. Having started with the company in October 1990, I now had less than a year left before I would leave. I recently posted a photo of myself taken outside the store in Altrincham around this time and with me in that photo was my manager Pete whom I’ve not referred to before. Pete came in to replace Scott who had been so important in my rehabilitation back into work after a significant amount of time out when I was struggling with my mental health. I’d not worked with Pete before so I was probably a bit concerned when Scott was moved on to the Piccadilly shop in Manchester. I shouldn’t have worried as Pete was great albeit in very different ways to Scott. He was an absolute dynamo, always busy doing something, probably because he was a sugar junkie – Pete would think nothing of having a packet of Tunnocks Teacakes for his lunch. He was also not the best observer of Health and Safety regulations. I recall doing an induction for a Xmas Temp and had literally just told them about never standing on a swivel chair to reach for anything high up and Pete came into the stockroom and reached for something high up on a swivel chair! I once locked him in the shop by mistake after taking both his and my keys home. This was before we all had mobile phones and so I got all the way home to Manchester where I found my answer machine full of messages from a stranded Pete asking me to come back and let him out. He took it in good humour though and we went to the pub afterwards to watch the footy. Pete would be my 14th and final manager before I left both Our Price and Manchester for a job in the Civil Service at York.

You’re not here for recollections about my work life though so let’s get to the music. There are only seven artists on tonight as opposed to the usual eight but having checked, that appears to be the original figure when first broadcast and not due to any revised editing decision. Gail Porter is in the host hot seat and we start with last week’s No 1. This practice of having the previous week’s chart topper raise the curtain on the following week’s show despite having been toppled from their throne was becoming a regular feature. Previously, we had S Club 7, this time it’s the Vengaboys with “Boom Boom Boom Boom”. I get that it was a method of combatting the extreme fluctuations of the very top of the charts otherwise these big selling hits would only get one TOTP appearance but it made for an odd spectacle for those of us who grew up in the 70s and 80s watching the show. We just get a repeat of the performance from seven days prior in this one and as such, I have nothing more to say about this absolute pile of crud.

Instead, I think I’ll comment on the profuse usage of the word ‘boom’ in pop and rock music because the Vengaboys sure weren’t the first to coin it. Going back to 1962 there was “Boom Boom” by legendary US blues artist John Lee Hooker whilst the 70s brought us The Boomtown Rats. Into the 80s, the word seemed to be attached to bands and songs that didn’t achieve the same level of success. “Iko Iko” hitmaker Natasha released “The Boom Boom Room” as the follow up but it failed to crack the Top 40 whilst the band Boom Boom Room never hit any higher than No 74 with “Here Comes The Man” despite releasing it twice. The 90s was…ahem…boom time for songs featuring “boom” in their titles. There’s “Boom Boom Boom” by The Outhere Brothers and “Boom! Shake The Room” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince both of which were No 1 records. Meanwhile, Apache Indian would score a Top 5 hit with “Boom Shack-A-Lak” in 1993. I’m sure there are more but I think I’ve proved my point. In fact, I think I’ve earned the right to one of these…

Almost two months (TWO MONTHS!) after we first saw Whitney Houston perform “My Love Is Your Love” on the show, we got to see her do it again this week or rather we were just shown a repeat of that initial appearance. Yes, that’s what the once monumentally important TOTP had become by 1999 – a show that would feed us repeats of performances we’d already seen weeks before. OK, that assessment doesn’t really tell the whole story. Presumably when Whitney and her team agreed to record an in person performance for the show, it came with certain conditions. It wasn’t worth her time to do just one song so two tracks were performed – her current single “It’s Not Right But It’s OK” and the follow up “My Love Is Your Love”. I’m pretty sure that was the case anyway. It makes sense. I recently posited a similar theory regarding Cher who I believe did two performances of her hit “All Or Nothing” in the same recording but with two different outfits on! I guess satisfying diva demands was deemed a fair price to pay to get the biggest names in music on the show.

Anyway, the long game strategy played by Whitney’s people paid off for both parties – they had a ready made performance for promotional purposes in the can for the release of “My Love Is Your Love” and TOTP had the exclusive of a studio appearance that they could show. However, why then was said appearance shown on the 14th May show weeks before it was available to buy in the shops? It must have been to plug the album which had been released the previous November surely? Or perhaps the release date of the single got put back? My guess is your guess.

Ah 1999, you really were a pile of shite weren’t you? Pointless, needless, inexplicable hit after hit cluttering up the charts. Hers another example. For some reason, The Three Amigos and their cover version of “Louie Louie” puts me in mind of The Wiseguys* whom we recently saw coming on like a turn of the millennium Blues Brothers with their single “Ooh La La”. Just like those berks, these jerks put the least amount of original thought that they could get away with into their hit. I mean like literally – they chose possibly the world’s most recorded song (2000 different versions at last estimate) and added a rap to it. That’s it pretty much. Such a poor idea was it that some weird visuals were required to sell it so we get the monochrome, 60s style backing dancers (a nod to the popularity of Austin Powers perhaps) and some sort of sci-fi costumes and and a bloke with a beard who I can’t tell if he’s covered in cobwebs or looks like he’s just come out of a cryogenic freezing facility (Austin Powers again). What utter charlatans (just like the characters from the 1986 comedy movie they were presumably named after).

*It turns out that The Wiseguys remixed one of the tracks on the “Louie Louie” single for The Three Amigos. My Spidey senses working well there.

Suede’s commercial peak was starting to decline by the end of the 90s. Although fourth album “Head Music” had followed “Coming Up” (and before that their eponymous debut album) to the top of the charts, it had only sold a third of its predecessor’s copies. Following suit were the singles released from “Head Music”. “She’s In Fashion” would end a run of six releases charting inside the Top 10 when it peaked at No 13. Subsequent singles taken from the album would not even make the Top 20. And yet “She’s In Fashion” is generally regarded as one of the band’s most accessible songs receiving more airplay than any of their previous singles had. It was championed by Radio 1’s Zoe Ball though possibly she saw it as tool for self promotion due to its opening lines:

“She’s the face on the radio, she’s the body on the morning show.”

Writer(s): Brett Lewis Anderson, Neil John Codling

That must be why my immediate association with the song is the broadcaster and presenter. Didn’t she try and make out that it was written about her? I can’t remember now. It’s too long ago. Enough of all that though, was it any good and why did it receive so much airplay? Well, yes it was, certainly compared to the rest of the junk in the charts. I’m guessing its airplay was down to its lighter, breezier sound that almost had a summery feel. Almost. It’s also quite repetitive for a Suede track which probably helped to lodge it in people’s brains and make it possibly one of their best known songs despite not being one of their biggest hits. Apparently the track was written and recorded at a time when Brett Anderson’s drug habit was at its worst but looking at him here, either he’d turned his life around by this point or the make up artist had done an amazing job on him.

Even in the dying light of the 90s, still the disease that blighted the musical landscape of that decade would not yield – yes, we still had time for yet another boyband. This lot were so lightweight that they’d have floated to the surface if chucked in the nearest canal wearing concrete shoes which is possibly a fate they deserved for the bilge they served up. Too harsh? Maybe but having to write about A1 is really trying my patience. A1 – even their name was awful, only beaten in the manky moniker stakes by Blue.

OK, so what was the story behind this shower? It was all down to someone called Tim Byrne who was one of the people involved in setting up Steps apparently. Paul Marrazzi had just missed out on being in that group but Byrne must have seen something in the pop hopeful and so decided to form another band with him in it. Auditions were held and a four piece put together. Presumably Byrne’s track record with Steps helped get A1 a record deal and hey presto!…their debut single “Be The First To Believe” was suddenly in the Top 10 despite sounding like a piss weak version of Steps if such a thing were possible. Surely this lot were destined for just the 15 minutes of fame but no; they would rack up 11 hit singles including (and this is truly mind boggling) two No 1s! One was a cover version of A-ha’s “Take On Me” which I can only describe as depressing.

They would split in 2002 with the obligatory solo careers pursued but would reunite in 2009 for a series of live shows and a persistent dalliance with Norway and the Eurovision Song Contest (member Christian Ingebrigtsen is Norwegian). In 2014 they appeared in that last scraping of the fame barrel known as The Big Reunion alongside the aforementioned Blue, Five, 911, Adam Rickitt etc. When their 20 years anniversary came around in 2019, Marrazzi rejoined for some live shows and the band released some non album singles. They are still together to this day which see seems incredible to me for a band that had so little to offer.

P.S. When I was at secondary school, we had a grading system that was a combination of letters and numbers with the former referring to your level of achievement in a particular subject and the latter the amount of effort you put in. A1 was therefore the highest you could be awarded and you were generally considered a swot if you received that mark. The coolest grade was A5 – you were naturally clever but couldn’t give a toss about applying yourself. In that system, A1 the band should surely have been an E1 – desperate to do well but intrinsically hopeless. And the recipient of the A5 grade in boyband world? I don’t know, East 17 maybe?

Here’s a question – was I already aware of Jennifer Lopez as an actress before she turned her hand to singing or was her debut single “If You Had My Love” my first introduction to her? Let’s have a look. Which films had she been in up to this point?

*checks her filmography*

Nothing I’d seen then nor indeed since I don’t think. Out Of Sight alongside George Clooney seemed to have been her highest box office hit by this point. The truth is that it’s hard to recall our first awarenesses of huge public figures isn’t it? It’s difficult to pinpoint our consciousness in these matters as our memory shifts and re-edits what we knew and when. I think the answer is probably that I knew of her as an actress but hadn’t engaged with her work on any meaningful level until I had to as I was selling her CDs as part of my job at Our Price. Despite this, I’d be hard pushed to name any of her songs (save maybe “Jenny From The Block”) and there’s plenty to choose from – she’s released nine studio albums and 67 singles! I had no idea! As mentioned earlier, “If You Had My Love” was the first of those 67 and it hit immediately going to No 1 in America and No 4 over here. As a Latin-infused, R&B number, it was never going to do much for me but even my ‘pop’ ear (Popeye’s brother) could identify that it was a very serviceable track competently delivered. Parent album “On The 6” would sell 300,000 copies in the UK and 10 times that amount in the US. A superstar was born and she would go by the name of J-Lo. Well, it was snappier than Jenny From The Block I guess.

It’s yet another different No 1 this time from ATB who was German DJ André Tanneberger. Now, if you look at the chart for 6th to the 12th June 1999, you’ll find two separate entries for “9PM (Till I Come)” – one at No 97 and one at No 78. How could this be and how did the track get to No 1 from these lowly positions? Well, it was all down to imports. The release at No 96 was the Australian import and No 78 position was occupied by the German import. Both singles were released on different labels and therefore circumvented chart rules that didn’t allow the same track to occupy separate chart positions. Neither would get higher than No 47 in the charts. Now that might sound like I’m being sniffy but actually a peak of No 47 for an imported single was very respectable and showed a true demand for the track that had initially been released by Ministry of Sound three months earlier when it had peaked at No 68. Confusing isn’t it? Presumably that Ministry of Sound release didn’t have much promotion behind it or it was a limited pressing as the track remained popular in clubland thereby necessitating those import copies being brought into the country to satisfy demand. In the face of this, Ministry of Sound gave it another go, this time aligned with Summer and the Ibiza season and a No 1 was assured. As I wasn’t frequenting the nightclubs of Ibiza in 1999 (nor anywhere actually being in my 30s at this point), this trance track based around a synthesised slide guitar riff, to paraphrase Midge Ure, meant nothing to me.

Order of appearanceArtistTitleDid I buy it?
1VengaboysBom Boom Boom BoomOf course not
2Whitney Houston My Love Is Your LoveNope
3The Three AmigosLouie LouieNever
4SuedeShe’s In FashionDecent tune but no
5A1Be The First To BelieveNo, it was last
6Jennifer LopezIf You Had My LoveNah
7ATB9PM (Till I Come)And no

Disclaimer

I make no claim to the rights of this show and all ownership and contents including logos and graphics belongs totally to the BBC or copyright holder(s).

All opinions on the music and artists featured are my own. Sorry if you don’t agree

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002t695/top-of-the-pops-02071999